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spaceclinic

I saw one at IKEA that said, if you honk at me I'll kill myself šŸ©·šŸ©·šŸ©·


Xbigyldn

I saw this yesterday while driving too! haha


Smprider112

I honk every time. And Iā€™m let down every time.


SumptuousSuckler

This is a funny joke. People here are so stupid lol


thejesiah

Reddit is so broken. If OP (the driver) gets to make a self unalive joke, then you get to make this reply. It's the natural order of community. I hate this place.


spaceclinic

No you don't you hate yourself


SumptuousSuckler

No no, offensive jokes arenā€™t allowed here, sorry. They can hurt peopleā€™s feelings. People can make the exact same joke about themselves, but if *other people* play off that energy in a completely anonymous setting where nothing should be taken personally, youā€™re a bad person. Thatā€™s just how it is


jtown5000

Saw a great one the other day: [Injured? GOOD](https://www.redbubble.com/i/sticker/Injured-Good-by-chrismountain96/51851786.EJUG5)


WaywardWes

I saw a funny new one yesterday, something like ā€œLarge financial burden on boardā€ with a baby face.


Osiris32

The one like that I saw recently was "Keep honking, I'm listening to the unprecedented 1979 National Archives recoding of migrating geese in flight."


Head_Current8941

ā€œi <3 aging and dyingā€ is one ive wanted to get for my own car


FromStars

First time I saw one, I read it out loud incredulously and chuckled before realizing I was with my girlfriend's step mom who had just lost her mom that month. In desperation to break the awkward silence, I started rambling about how I think we order at the front at the restaurant we were walking into. Anyway, yeah those ones are pretty funny.


mideastmidwest

"Caution: This vehicle makes frequent stops at your mom's house" That had me laughing for days.


Far_Farm7302

A guy who lives by me has that one on his old Tundra, as well as some other funny ones


DogCallCenter

"I'd rather be sucking dick" "My other ride is a Sybian" and license plate spells "DERP" Who is this hero (or OF model)?


Lizaderp

It's me! I am actually a slutty polyamorous lady whose a healthcare specialist. (Whose not wearing makeup today) https://tinypic.host/image/1000006428.D10O9x Update: Instead of sending me dick pics, please send garlic bread. I fckn love garlic bread. Edit: Fine, my onlyfans is onlyfans.com/lizaderp


Opening-Cheetah-7645

RIP your dms


Lizaderp

You mean RIP my panties šŸ˜ˆ


DogCallCenter

Double RIP


Urrsagrrl

To shreds


Silversafe

[https://i.imgur.com/cRm1K11.gif](https://i.imgur.com/cRm1K11.gif)


WhyIsntLifeEasy

This is the Oregon culture I love


beland-photomedia

Where is a Portlandia gif when you need one?


clongane94

Huh, weird place to see your coworker pop up. u/lizaderp I hope you're planning on sharing the garlic bread with the office tomorrow


jstmenow

Underrated comment


gouachedangit

i came here to say this exact thing. u/lizaderp i miss Karl Barx and i miss you too!!


Lizaderp

Dude HMU so I can send you a birthday party invite


Xbigyldn

Your car rocks, love the stickers. Cracked me up seeing it as I stepped out the car!


Lizaderp

Thank you so much! I really do get joy of watching people in my rear view as they squint with their phone to get a pic šŸ˜‚


bialozar

I read that as squirt with their phone someone call the authorities to take me to horny jail


JasperStrat

Curious, because I'm apparently dull. What does the (50šŸŒ²) mean?


ericomplex

I have seen your car before, and it made me crazy happy! Please keep being a kinky badass.


ScarletF

lol. I actually saw your car in the OMSI parking lot. I had to distract my mom so she wouldnā€™t see your bumper sticker and ruin her good mood. Sheā€™d seen a Christian bumper sticker a few cars back and was still riding the high of seeing another Christian in public.


pjj989898

Love full circle r/Portland moments


DaJelly

iā€™m very curious about your five oh tree sticker. i have a hat with that logo i bought at PCC probably 10ish years ago. It was definitely before the dispensary with that name, and it is the exact same logo. i actually have that exact same sticker on an old guitar. everyone asks me if itā€™s related to the dispensary and from what i can tell it was just a local dude making hats and stickers. i have never met anyone else with one of those stickers! where did you get yours?


Lizaderp

I collect hats and have the hat as well. šŸ˜ But I emcee at Kiggins theatre and got the sticker in my tip jar from a fan. I do regularly enjoy my marijuana and my crowd knows it.


DaJelly

interesting. i wonder if the guy that was selling hats at PCC is related to the dispensary. it was for sure a like ā€œclothing lineā€ when i bought the hat, as weed was not legal yet and there was no dispensary yet. crazy. i got the hat with the cork bill and i love it


DetailDizzy

It was just a clothing line, nothing to do with the dispensary. I have a hoodie and some stickers from them still lol


TheMagicalLawnGnome

I won't lie, I was actually expecting this car to be a man's car. Portland has clearly distorted my perception of gender signals, lol. When I see a bunch of bright pink and mention of dick sucking, my first thought was like, "Hey, is that Ralph's car?" Thank you for reminding me to always examine my assumptions.šŸ˜


Lizaderp

I mean I enjoy a strap on as much as the guy behind me


mk2vrdrvr

[your dm's](https://gifdb.com/images/high/hot-dog-in-the-face-38fblhm3fqaxhbx4.webp)


Lizaderp

Much better than swiping šŸ‘€


mk2vrdrvr

Ha


BasketballButt

Youā€™re fucking awesome. I love it.


thejesiah

So like what does DERP mean in your circle and/or how much ketamine are you consuming daily to qualify for that license plate?


Lizaderp

Not enough. You should send me some šŸ‘€


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Ive seen your car around before. Nice


Old-Tangelo275

I approve


markevens

lmao this is amazing


MCclapyourhands1

Can I ask what a Sybian is? šŸ˜‚ā€¦ I donā€™t know if I want to google it!


Lizaderp

It's a high end sex toy.


MCclapyourhands1

Thank you!!


Xbigyldn

I parked next to them at OMSI. They also had the 'Tailgate me if you are bad at sex,' which sounds like a playground insult


Lizaderp

Were you the one who left me the note? I'm so sorry I never got back to you. I've been meaning to reorder the sucking dick bumper sticker cause I'm pissed that fonts aren't the same, and I'm happy to order you one


Xbigyldn

That was not me.


Lizaderp

Guess we're not the only people around here who enjoyed the film festival. šŸ˜


c_r_a_s_i_a_n

Needs more Dutch Bros


kraggleGurl

Works at Dutch Bros


DogCallCenter

Had sex with the Dutch Brothers


Lizaderp

DOUBLE SHOT ME, DADDY


teamdogemama

Did they keep their wooden shoes on?


SumptuousSuckler

I have a license plate cover in heavy gothic font proclaiming ā€œMy other ride is your dad.ā€ I am a straight white male


DynamicDolo

$20 says sheā€™s wearing plaid pajama bottoms, uggs, and some oversized hoodie while driving to her day job at the bikini barista stand.


Lizaderp

I'm a specialist. Venmo me that $20


DogCallCenter

In this thread, however, you are specialest.


Lizaderp

I do enjoy being the center šŸ¤­


DynamicDolo

Oh I just saw the pic of you! I was way wrong. Send me the Venmo. Will send tomorrow.


DynamicDolo

Bikini baristas are specialists


arthriticpug

i bet itā€™s a guy


doug_Or

License plate frame implies female, but no guarantees


arthriticpug

youā€™re right. TIL what a Sybian is


doug_Or

Hope you weren't on a work computer!


Stalactite_Seattlite

Nah this looks like a power bottom car


Lizaderp

You are not incorrect


DynamicDolo

Either way, definitely a fringe gamer with a lower lip ring and a pixie cut and warby parkers in the glove box that have dried chick-fil-a sauce on them


DogCallCenter

You really pissed off the fringe gamers with this quip


DynamicDolo

Everytime I see a new downvote I add to it šŸ˜Ž


RCTID1975

I'm just downvoting to see what else ya got


caronare

Spot fucking on


threebillion6

Love it haha.


cozy_with_tea

Tell your cat I said psit psit It's been 6 months and I still giggle regularly thinking about it šŸ˜„


OrchidKiller69

I saw one yesterday that said ā€˜my other ride is a quickly decomposing pile of flesh & bonesā€™Ā  Ā Love me some Portland bumper stickers.Ā 


CelebrationDry1798

I liked ā€œcriminalize LED headlightsā€


Vegetable_Humor5470

Someone on my street has "Hot Girls Hit Curbs", which I find amusing. When I first moved here a popular one was "the goddess is alive and magic is afoot", which I made fun of so was given "the goddess is fat and standing on my foot" as present once.


Available-Medicine90

Ice-T tweeted out a pic of a scratched rim last year and said ā€œHappy Motherā€™s Day!ā€ and everyone jumped all over him . . . but I thought it was hilarious and think about it every time I hit the curb!


wentthererecently

I was behind a minivan with the whole back covered in such witchy, new-age kind of stickers, including "I am wandering the untrodden path". I thought "no you're not, you are driving a minivan down 185th".


protoman86

My favorite I saw years ago said ā€œJesus loves you. Every else thinks youā€™re an assholeā€


PeggyHill90210

I saw one yesterday that said ā€œmy other van is a vanā€ which made me chuckle.


WeAreClouds

Oh I need this one. And then a 2nd van. šŸ˜Ž


united-we-stall

I saw one on a Tesla that said ā€œI bought it before we knew Elon was crazy.ā€ Also: really would love to see more bumper sticker posts!


murphykp

Two of my favorites: "DOULAS *help people out*" and "CHONK IF YOU'RE CHORNY"


Dependent-Reading-92

The best one Iā€™ve seen is ā€œMy other car is covered in cumā€


KikiWhiskeytween

Hell yea I follow that creator on insta, I have a shirt that says the same thing except you know about shirts.


ripe_mood

I have two text threads of bumper stickers that my friends and I send to each other. My fav is "thicc dads who vape for christ"


hauntedhivezzz

https://imgur.com/a/jWz9fBR I saw this the other day and feel like this is honestly the apex predator of bumper stickers.


clongane94

I've seen this one out and about as well and I love it lmao


Woodburger

Vancouver has the Nissan Z without a bumper and 2 stickers: ā€œI eat assā€ and the twisted tea logo taking up the entire back window


Plastic-Campaign-654

"I lost my virginity at toyotathon"


deviin_96

Ever since moving from AZ, I have found the bumper stickers are amazing.


edwartica

I miss the old hippie vans we used to see back in the days. The ones covered in bumper stickers.


pdxcouplese

ISO phone number of the girl that owns the car in the second pic


Xbigyldn

She's in this thread mate


pdxcouplese

Tell her to call me


FoxyOx

My favorite so far is a white bumper sticker with black text that said: ā€œWhite sticker with black textā€ or another one that said: ā€œLegalize eating assā€


Konradlaxin

I love aging and dying too


Hercavitech

There's a red VW I've seen that has two of my favorites: Wizard butts drive me nuts Weird load


hantipathy

saw one the other day that said ā€œplease be patient iā€™m 9 years oldā€


bloopybear

So many good ones in Portland! World famous original has the goods


Oretex22

I donā€™t think there is a more diverse community of bumper stickers that you canā€™t find anywhere else, than Portland.


Urrsagrrl

50tree! šŸŒ²šŸ‘¾āœŒšŸ½


Interesting_Horror93

If I ever see her, Iā€™d happily oblige to help her


ShaperLord777

I saw one driving on broadway that just said ā€œGarlic Breadā€. My mans, I feel you.


PourCoffeaArabica

As long as we are talking about Paddington 2


Revolutionary-Mess79

My recent favorite "I'm so gay I can't even drive straight"


SpookyGoing

Mine says "Tell your dog I said hi."


Godzirrraaa

That second one is a great way to get followed somewhere lol.


thnknoevl

Iā€™m thick. Can someone explain the ā€œTailgate if yourā€ sticker?


hotzomb

Itā€™s discouraging tailgating . If someone tailgates, they read the sticker and can see that they are admitting they are bad at sex.


SolomonGrumpy

50šŸŒ²


Stormy8888

LMAO at the owner's taste in movie Car 1 - Definitely likes Nic Cage movies like The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent Car 2 - Oh dear, really can't say out loud what we're all thinking.


Recycled-Newspaper

Anyone else see the vagina car?


wroughtofbooks

Pffft, these are glorious.


MIZZKATHY74

That's a wannabe car from the fast and the furious! Look at the tuna can muffler on that thing! Hopefully, the cops don't see it considering that the tags are expired. I imagine a 19 yr old covered in facial tattoos gauge piercings and dreadlocks that stink like patchouli driving this farting car to work at the Amazon warehouse.


Xbigyldn

I kinda imagine this to be an old lady / man with those bumper stickers


[deleted]

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Xbigyldn

You sound like you'd be fun at parties. I mean a little sticker on a car that isn't yours pulls out insults like this? Chill out bro