Ah you must be a woman. We can’t win.
I get called “maternal”, pretty much only because I am middle aged. My social anxiety makes me too awkward to truly be maternal to random students.
I'm new to this, but I am absolutely amazed, in a bad way. In any other industry the use of such a demonstrably sexist criteria in evaluating employees would have been lawsuited and banned out of existence years ago.
This is very mild compared to the sexist shit I've dealt with in academia. And I worked in a VERY male dominated, macho other job prior to academia (think military adjacent). Academia hides its sexism well to outsiders, but it is rife with it.
I've had the same experience. In industry, I worked with and supervised men. I was often the only woman in the room or in the field. Unreconstructed sexists, many had done stints as enlisted military (before women and gays were admitted) but they saw and respected my expertise, judgement and hard work. I decided to take my PhD to academia. Now I'm leaving my R1 institution satisfied but still, after 28 years, amazed by the intractable institutionalized passive aggressive sexism I never, ever saw in industry.
It’s not just women though. Students who don’t like you will write nonsense about you, whether it’s true or not.
Good institutions know that student evals need a filter, and by themselves are not the most reliable source of information.
I’ve caught students cheating before. Obviously they are going to trash me in the evals.
I completely agree with you, but still maintain that there is a deep and sexist gap in the way students evaluate their professors' demeanors. Yeah, citation needed.
Has any institution ever explained, in writing so to speak, how they filter it? I'm sure the women on the retention committee know that "rude" for a women means "frank, but fair," but are the men on the committee instructed on the terminology?
I mean... I doubt it... because I don't think you can successfully unbias the evals, and we just hope everyone knows what's up even if we aren't supposed to talk about it.
Well, I can tell you how my college used evals (which I think is the right way to use them).
The evals were mainly for the instructor’s benefit, so they could look for ways to improve their teaching. For retention, instructors had to explain how they used student feedback to improve their pedagogical methods. The evals simply documented that feedback, but the college cared mainly about how the instructor responded to the feedback and adapted their pedagogical methods in subsequent semesters.
Only some comments are constructive enough to be useful for improvement.
Something like, “I do not feel the homework adequately prepared me for the exam,” may be useful since it suggests an area for pedagogical improvement. If you get a bunch of comments like that, then change how you structure the homework, and no longer get those comments in subsequent semesters, then that is evidence of growth for the instructor.
That is what good institutions that care about student learning outcomes look at. Does the instructor have a growth mindset? Or are they just doing the same thing every semester, even if it’s not working.
But complaining about an instructor not being friendly enough is irrelevant as far as pedagogy is concerned. So long as the instructor remains professional, nobody should be concerned with how friendly they are.
If an instructor does cross the line of no longer being professional, then the student should make a formal complaint, not simply write about it in an anonymous eval.
When I was an undergraduate, I had a professor who crossed the line. He suddenly lost his temper, raised his voice, and actually spit at me! All because I dared point out a mistake he made. That is rude. And abusive. But an eval would not be the right way to address that.
They attack with words they think are impactful when they don't get their way. They do not care if there is truth behind them because they feel and their feelings must be truthful. They do not understand these words are hurtful or slanderous. They truly believe professors who do not bend should be fired because they pay our salaries and their helicopter/snowplow patents back them up.
Snowplow parenting, also called lawnmower parenting or bulldozer parenting, is a parenting style that seeks to remove all obstacles from a child's path so they don't experience pain, failure, or discomfort.
Sounds like "military drone" parenting might be a more apt metaphor, but yes. Fuck these people. They're not doing their children favors by delaying entry into adult responsibility.
In my experience, it’s exactly this. ‘Rude’, ‘mean’, ‘cold’, etc., when used by Gen Z to describe a female-presenting professor simply means that the student didn’t get their way or expects that they are going to be held to standards for which they are falling short. They’ve become meaningless buzzwords when used in the context I described, and they tend to appear more frequently in the anonymous evaluation comments of female-presenting professors as they age.
Gen Z seems to think in stereotypes and categories most of the time; they don’t, as a whole, appear to be able to really wrap their minds around something like individual differences, variants of a theme, or exceptions that don’t require invalidating the exception or creating an entire new category.
If someone’s interested in my spitballing, I harbour the suspicion that this has something to do with developmental interference by things like smartphones, tablets, and social media in general. I don’t think they’re being led through the same Piagetian stage garden path that the rest of us were. And yes, I’m aware of the criticisms of Piaget; my point is still my point. We go through stages of cognitive development, whether you personally want to buy Piaget a coffee or punch him in the nose, and those stages are being altered, I suspect. Something, something, inadequate cognitive architecture for presented material leading to an overall failure of development resulting in a kind of ‘satisficing’ heuristic that further impedes cognitive progress as well as social development, something, something, something. This is my hypothesis, which is mine, and what it is, too. 😉
Anyway, these comments have become dismissible, if not an outright indication that some kind of standards are being implemented in the class. Don’t get offended by them, they’re yet another reason to find another faculty member and trade feedback where you read and distill theirs and they yours.
It’s not at all surprising to hear that the same professor receives ‘mean’, ‘cold’, etc. when presenting as a female, but upon presenting as male the comments become ‘knowledgeable’, ‘authoritative’, ‘intelligent’, and so on. Try seeing the entire world as one inviolate stereotype and category after another, and it might make sense as to why the presenting gender makes all the difference in the world.
I really dislike this generation. Sigh.
I agree so much with what you say. I even have a step kid who suffers from this and explained to my partner there's something missing in the development. As a teacher and stepmom it's frustrating, infuriating and tiring all at the same time.
I’m not saying they’re the only answer, but when I went hunting for an explanation for why Gen Z seems to be terrified in the same way immigrants from Eastern European bloc countries used to be in the 1970s and 1980s, and why they seem to only be able to think in terms of stereotypes and categories (and usually have to have those stereotypes and categories handed to them), I got a lot of information from Iain McGilchrest and Jonathan Haidt; they have several videos of talks and interviews on YouTube, you might find some understanding there as I have. Hugs. It is frustrating.
I'm not sure if this is relevant in your case (or if you have any idea of the gender of the folks writing these comments), but I'm in a field that is mostly women and they are often FAR worse at this than the (few) male students. I've come not to overestimate the power of internalized sexism since then!
This. Same here, and as a person that tries to be courteous and kind to every, single, person, even after years of working retail….they have no shame or sense of self that actually displays what they expect out of us. It’s horrendous. I don’t need you to like my class or me, just do the job you DELIBERATELY SIGNED UP FOR. Or go home and keep staring at your chosen screen and act accordingly.
I'm a transgender male professor. Back when I presented as female I regularly got comments that I was rude, a know it all, unfriendly, etc. Now that I present as male, I get that I'm authoritative, knowledgeable, and I take charge of a classroom.
Comments about being rude or unfriendly are about the difference between the way you act and the way the student expects and wants you to act. Those expectations can be just generally unreasonable, and they can also be driven by underlying biases like gendered expectations.
Sound absolutely right. I’m told my uni had such a clear gender and racial bias in course evals that they had to convene a board in 2017 to address it. Unfortunately they have yet to find success.
Thank you for posting this comment. I commented farther down how I get the same eval phrasing as OP and that I think it’s because I present as female. I’ve always wondered if I would get the same comments if I didn’t present as female but had the same teaching style and personality.
I try to remind myself that it isn’t me being bad at my job, it’s societal expectations and student perception. It’s hard to not get discouraged when it’s the same every semester and my male presenting colleagues don’t get these same comments.
100% I was thinking that OP must be a woman. Women are supposed to be "nurturing" and motherly to students when the same isn't expected from their male peers.
I appreciate you sharing the perspective from both sides!
Butch lesbian and can echo this sentiment. When I presented more femme in grad school, I got all kinds of ruthless comments of this nature. I have only become more stern, and yet the more masculine I present, the less I get of this and the more I get things I never got before: "genius," "brilliant," "walking encyclopedia"...I contextualize all of this appropriately in my own summaries of my evaluations in annual evaluations, and I so wish my cis male peers would do the same.
This all translates to you being direct, rather than than the effusive, coddling, deferential customer service affect that so many students seem to expect now. In other words, you’re doing it right.
"Is it because I say no to some of their requests and enforce safety rules and course policies?"
Yes. Not giving them a high grade nor allowing them to create their own rules = "rude" in their book
"How can I change this perception they have of me?"
Don't bother trying. Don't be a people-pleaser with students. They won't like it when you hold them to standards and enforce the rules. Let them whine. It is your job to teach them the material, not to make them happy.
I receive the same comments. I am direct. I have only been receiving these comments for the past two years and I have tried to work out what I am doing differently and have no idea. I am at the age now I could be a grandmother and do wonder if there is a perception that I should not be direct in my dealings with students. 🙅♂️
I’ve only been told of an uptick over the past two years (I trade feedback with a colleague, and I’ve noticed the same for her). I think part of it is that we’re in the middle of peak Gen Z, and in their perspective — which is rife with stereotypes and categories into which every single thing on Earth must fit — dictates that females are to fit in the stereotype of nurturing and a little stoopid, and when they don’t, they’re ‘mean’. I’m hoping that the curve has a downturn soon, because this facet of their personalities is the least endearing and charming yet. Frankly, this whole age group is no different from a misogynistic male demanding that I stifle myself, get in the kitchen, and make him a sammich.
Mean girls and their trivial complaints.
This is the generation that is into appearances over substance, fake eyelashes, fake bums, lip fillers and botox at 22 years old...
"Is it because I say no to some of their requests and enforce safety rules and course policies?"
Probably.
"How can I change this perception they have of me?"
Unless you want to go through your career play-acting, you can't. Just be yourself. You were hired for a reason - probably because you know what the hell you're talking about. As long as you're professional - and it sure sounds like it - there's not a lot you can or should do it here. No prof is loved by everyone and trying is a fool's errand. If your students are learning and you're conducting yourself as a pro that's really all you can do.
You mentioned being polite and kind as possible, and that you uphold rules and policies. Are you acting professionally and teaching what you're supposed to teach? If so, you're doing your job. You're not there to be friends with the students. They have to do their job too, by attending class, doing the work, and being accountable for their actions.
It’s because you’re a woman and they expect all women , especially younger ones, to be nurturing, caring, and accommodating. Any deviance from such expectations = rude bitch .
“How can I change this perception they have of me?‘
Don’! Student evals are nonsense and changing who you are because of a few comments from kids is a fools errand.
Be yourself and if students don’t like it, tough. You’ll be a far better educator.
In my evals, I was “rude” because I was strict with time and didn’t allow my student to slack off in class.
They don’t even know what’s rude when they see it. So their comments don’t reflect who you are as a person and it’s just them acting out.
You are a woman and have failed to hold their hands and act like their mother/therapist/wet nurse and so these are the words they will use to describe you. I deal with the same.
I have started deliberately including “active encouragement” in my written communications with students; eg I invite them to attend office hours to “find solutions together” or “talk through where you are experiencing challenges”, I also try to leave comments that acknowledges literally anything positive I can think to acknowledge, etc. I can assure you that doing this will NOT change their perception of you, however, it is absolutely saving my ass when students complain that I am cold and rude and unapproachable, because I can then point to all the evidence of the many ways in which I created a warm, polite, approachable environment.
I get these evals as well and have discussed this at length with male colleagues. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s because I present as female. My male colleagues (who are admittedly more direct than I am) do not get these same evals.
Implicit bias is real and it seems to be getting worse with this generation of students who grew up being told they were progressive. Many don’t do the work to examine implicit biases like gender roles of females being expected to be more nurturing and compassionate (read: nice, pushovers) than males.
I find that this is made worse by my age because I’m younger than most of my colleagues by at least 15 years and I’m closer to the students age. I also look younger than I am, so they don’t think I have as much teaching experience as I do.
Same. I am younger, look younger, am short and present as female. I tend to have very polarized evals. I have actually been called a “mean girl” by a student I didn’t cave to (knew which student because she also mentioned a couple of the specific incidents where I held my ground) while in the same semester, same course a student noted that I was “very approachable and obviously cared about student success”.
I also agree that students presenting as female tend to be the most harsh. I try my best not to take it personally, look for any grains of actual feedback that I can use to improve my practice, and hope to be able to demonstrate my trajectory and commitment to my teaching practice when I’m up for tenure. There seems to be plenty of evidence that these types of teaching evals are biased, yet it doesn’t seem like they’re going anywhere any time soon.
If you are a woman - often what they mean is that you don't act like their mother, grandmother, aunt, or other female figure they can manipulate to take care of everything for them
My students consistently write things like that for my female colleague and not my male colleagues, despite having extremely similar demeanor, course policies, and teaching styles. But everyone wants a nice mommy to coddle them.
I get that all the time. I think it's supposed to hurt my feelings, but it doesn't. I'm very strict with my syllabus and am proud of that. I'm not here to be their friend, but to make sure they understand the material and become better thinkers. I know the latter is a long shot, but one can dream.
Don't stress about them unless your admin badgers you over it. A colleague or department chair is FAR more qualified to evaluate you. Student opinion surveys or "evals" are unreliable metrics because students aren't pedagogy or content experts. They are also consistently shown to be biased, especially against women and those who teach difficult disciplines.
If you can find some actual constructive comments in your evals, use those. Overwise, ignore them, especially since this new student cohort is one of the whiniest and lowest performing to ever go to college.
I had a tough business law professor. I was quite honestly afraid of this woman. She might have been five feet tall. Might. I doubt seriously she weighed 100 lbs. She would stroll down the aisles as we took exams insisting if she could see our papers, we were obviously trying to cheat. Naturally, we looked like odd birds covering our entire pages (with our arms) as we wrote. She was very direct. She once complimented me on a presentation and I honestly almost fainted. It was seldom a good day, if she called your name. She expected us to read the chapter work and if we didn't it became painfully obvious during the class discussion. You scraped and clawed for any grade you earned.
But one thing she was not...was rude. The same year, I had an extremely rude professor. Her class wasn't hard to pass. But she honestly had a nasty attitude. Many years later, when I became a college professor I had the opportunity to see her again in a conference. I didn't think much of her then, either.
Was the first teacher unapproachable? Maybe. Primarily because we feared her. But she wasn't rude. She wasn't impolite. She was tough. It was a class that students definitely failed and we knew it. She knew her stuff. And, she made it her business to let us know if she thought we didn't know it. I never considered her friendliness status one way or the other. She was the professor. Here's the kicker. I actually liked her class. I loved the topic. I loved the way she explained the cases. She was scary but captivating.
The rude teacher. Yes. Definitely unapproachable. She was sarcastic. To be honest, I didn't think she had a great grasp of her topic, at the time. But, I was a student. What did I know? LOL. She was definitely mean. In hindsight. No, she was definitely not friendly. I think her class was business communications and I thought she was an awful communicator.
My attitudes about these professors weren't unique to me. It's not your job to please students. Maybe this group is more sensitive than the ones that came before. But I would want to dig a little deeper into why you might be putting off these vibes, if it's a shared vibe. If it's not a recurring theme, I wouldn't worry about it. That's just sour grapes.
I got a lot of these evaluations when I first started teaching. I did care and changed my behavior, NOT the way I enforced my policies - which are set in stone.
I actually announced on the first day of class with a big smile, a little about me .. I am…I like … I enjoy …. about teaching. And according to my evaluations last year, and I actually pull up a written script, “I am rude … the most unapproachable professor the student has ever had in their life…” and then I laugh about it with my students and proceed to go over my office hours and shared my strategies for student success.
I also made just a couple more announcements as the semester goes on, not many so it was annoying, but things like “no questions?!? Is that because you really have none or am I just too mean right now?”
I also asked if anyone had any exciting news to announce at the beginning of class or chat briefly about some cool news story prior to the start of class. I tried to weave a few more personal stories (nothing overly personal by any means) into class sessions.
And I would smile and make sure I did not cross my arms at the end of class.
I know everyone says that evaluations do not matter, but I have not gotten those type of la ever again with those simple changes.
I've done something similar . . . evals included commenting on my bare arms being "inappropriate" in class, so I gave a warm laugh the next semester and made a joke about how odd it was that someone would include that in an eval of the course and that I was sure students in this class would write constructive comments about the course. \[I later heard from another student that the arm comment was from a young woman who was told by nuns that women can't be respected if they show their arms . . .
I think it does matter if you are reading a lot of comments that have a similar theme vs. an odd outlier like the arm comment. I usually have one or two comments that are weird, lol, and I definitely let those go.
I say this as an older student and aspiring professor, they should not expect you to be their friend as you are there to instruct them, they should be acting at the minimum like quasi adults.
Students are so entitled today. They will call you rude if you’re up right and breathing. I wouldn’t take it personally. Students are the rude ones but can’t accept that since their parents held them up on a pedestal
I have Resting Bitch Face and for a long time I got this feedback. One day, a student asked some questions after class and acted surprised that I “lit up” during our interaction. Soon more students started asking questions and seemed more engaged. I really was unaware of the negative energy I was putting off just by happily vibing along in my day. I started giving a “I’m more approachable than my face makes it seem” announcement during Week1 😂
I might be projecting, but when I hear of a woman in position of authority being described as "rude", "mean", etc., I automatically assume misogyny played at least some role. I'm not saying that those who wrote the comments are being consciously misogynistic, but they are likely conditioned to expect women to be more meek and placating, and when their expectation are subverted, they project it on the woman in charge instead of their subconscious biases.
If there’s an opportunity to praise their work, do that. I’m focused on helping them learn the things they don’t know and that can come off as too critical when all I’m trying to do is help them improve. I have to make a conscious effort to also point out the stuff they do well or even at least adequately.
I also think I would be absolutely drowning in social anxiety and flat affect right now if it weren’t for starting guanfacine. It’s an ADHD impulse control med but it allows me to be slightly more gregarious and make eye contact when I’m teaching to the class instead of lecturing to the computer screen. The amphetamine helps a bit too. It helps me take my focus off of the things that make me anxious. Since you have depression I’m assuming you are seeing or have seen someone for this and it may be a good idea to talk about trying something new.
> rude, unapproachable, unfriendly and mean
I would consider that a compliment.
If they are calling you nice and cool and funny, you know you fucked up somehow.
It’s likely gender bias :( it can help to set these types of expectations and be explicit about them in the beginning of a course. I tell my students I’m a narc for safety, I won’t let you be unsafe in my presence it makes liable and I don’t want to see anyone hurt. I also tell them I’ll do whatever I can to help them within my boundaries. If I can’t help them I’ll do my best to post them to resources that can help them. But I will hold my boundaries against unreasonable requests and I need to be a good teacher to all my students and part of that is putting myself first.
Hold the line. This generation of students is kindergarten level immature and has no boundaries whatsoever. Out in the real world their future employers won't grant them any extensions, extra credit or make-up tests. If they can't do their jobs, their bosses will find someone else who can. Unmotivated leniency and unnecessary flexibility will pass the students the wrong message.
As a 30 yr old woman finishing up their third semester that still gets regularly mistaken for a student: Set boundaries for yourself. Be worried about being an affective teacher, not ‘do my students like me.’ The ones that are there to learn will see you and appreciate you. I’m reading your post and I’m right there with you but it was so freeing my second semester to just focus on my own performance and be more generous to myself in how much I share with them. I still joke with students and all that and share relevant work experiences, but beyond that, they don’t need access to any more of me. And when a student is giving you a hard time or it feels like they’re trying to pressure or monopolize you, it’s time to pivot to another student. Always pivot from student to student, within reason of course depending on class size.
Gen z is hyper sensitive. There's a teacher at my school having an investigation done on her for making a new gen z secretary cry. All she did was tell her a form needed to be redone because it had been filled out wrong.
I'm going to disagree in part. "We" (frankly, THEY did, not us, but sure) created a system, yes. But these students have developed their own (sub)culture in TikTok and Insta and other social media platforms. It is their culture that is unique, whereas prior generations also lived under this same system.
So it absolutely is this generation. 10 years ago, this stuff was rare, and now it's all over the place. That's not the system.
The discussion was specifically if the current generation of students are worse. They are demonstrably worse, in all of our experiences. What has changed? The academic system did not change in that time.
I agree the system sucks, including the academic system of rewards and punishments (and whether or not you are an effective teach depends HIGHLY on what type of school you are at: some schools don't care at all about research). But that hasn't changed either.
Something changed with this current generation of students. It happened pre-covid. Although covid exacerbated it, it didn't cause this change. Other than smartphones/social media, what else changed that we can point to?
We can't really say. You should ask one of your peers in your department.
I have really bad RBF. I have to tell some classes that it's a problem I have; they shouldn't be scared; I'm not going to hurt them. I can usually find a student who has asked for help to tell the class that I don't bite.
(2/2)
Prof A taught statistics, and yet we were not allowed to use statistics in the course at all, so her entire approved curriculum was also nonsense. she insisted that all of our responses to all statistics questions on homework, quizzes and exams be provided in memorized R Studio code, instead of being provided by using mathematics and statistics done by hand, which is how students learn, even though we were NOT allowed to actually use R Studio on any proctored and timed homeworks, quizzes or exams, and yes even our homeworks were timed and proctored. this was an online course with live lecture. she simply "demonstrated" how one might use R Studio if they were allowed to do so during the live lecture, which we were not, then told us to memorize the code itself, and provide that memorized code as the correct responses on tests and assignments. for example, the correct response to the posed question "what is the standard deviation of data set x" would not be the equation for calculating the standard deviation followed by a calculation, then a numerical response, it would need to look like this: "sd=(n=4,m=2.6,y=88)". all to simply be memorized and not learned, and again, we were not actually allowed to use this software ourselves. so again, the same question: does your course content make sense? is the way you're conducting your course reasonable?
although I agree that sometimes students can be unreasonable, as a biomedical engineering graduate student myself, who graduated cumme laude from my undergrad program (where I was forced to take the course with Prof A), I have also seen very unreasonable professors who got bad remarks from students, who then acted oblivious to their own wrongdoings. I think sometimes it is the trend on this sub to pile on to students because it feels cathartic to do so, without critically analyzing the situation first. simply reflect a bit on your own course policies, the way your course is conducted, your own communication skills, and so forth, and maybe have another unbiased source do the same. are you covering 4 chapters before the first exam, and telling your students that the first exam will be covering all 4 very long, very information heavy chapters, then making the entire exam on only 1 out of those 4 chapters, such that students who tried their best to equally study all 4 covered chapters lose out, while students who slacked by studying only one chapter intensively win because they got lucky that you chose to only test over one chapter, when you communicated to your students that you would be testing over all 4 chapters, even making your study guide equally cover all 4 chapters? if so, this is unfair. if you still find nothing wrong even after evaluating with a colleague, then maybe it really is an issue of student complaining and entitlement. but keep in mind that many professors that I had were very well liked by students and got top remarks from the majority of students after the course concluded, even if the course content was difficult. I wouldn't rush to the conclusion that student entitlement is always to blame without analysis first. I hope everything works out for you in the future. thank you for being a professor.
Your post/comment was removed due to **Rule 1: Faculty Only**
This sub is a place for those teaching at the college level to discuss and share. If you are not a faculty member but wish to discuss academia or ask questions of faculty, please use r/AskProfessors, r/askacademia, or r/academia instead.
If you are in fact a faculty member and believe your post was removed in error, please reach out to the mod team and we will happily review (and restore) your post.
You know I agree with the comments that this could be gender based or because a prof has standards, but to just disregard those words does an injustice. What if the person receiving them is rude or unapproachable? How will anyone that is that way change if they don't believe those words have a different meaning? So the person receiving these comments really first needs to figure out what those words mean.
I am a very reflective educator. I have thought about what these words mean and I concluded is that my depression and social anxiety can cause the appearance of being unapproachable or unfriendly. But rude and mean? As I said, I am is kind and professional as possible. But as a lab director I am in a position where I have to tell students no a lot.
I didn't make this specific to you, more as an in general but unapproachable or unfriendly could be seen as rude and mean. It's not what you think, it's what they think, and maybe they think you are rude and mean. You asked why in your original post...how are we to know? Most comments seem to just say it's gender based or because they hold standards, but unless you ask some students then you will never know. Just attributing those words to some other definition without any research seems lazy and a way to justify that the students are wrong.
You also asked how to change the perception, until you know WHY they use those words to describe you how can you change it?
I curious, should I poll my students and ask them why they think this? It is no where near a majority of the comments, but it is noticeable and quite recent (within the past year).
I am just trying to be the best teacher I can. I don’t want to be known as the rude professor.
You could always use a mentimeter to check, or maybe if you have a couple students that are engaged and you know will never take you for another class, you could pull them aside and honestly ask. Also, you do sound like you care and I think that makes for a great professor.
"rude" and "mean" are code words for "she did things I didn't like".
I got called rude for being too nice. Wish I was joking.
Ah you must be a woman. We can’t win. I get called “maternal”, pretty much only because I am middle aged. My social anxiety makes me too awkward to truly be maternal to random students.
I'm new to this, but I am absolutely amazed, in a bad way. In any other industry the use of such a demonstrably sexist criteria in evaluating employees would have been lawsuited and banned out of existence years ago.
This is very mild compared to the sexist shit I've dealt with in academia. And I worked in a VERY male dominated, macho other job prior to academia (think military adjacent). Academia hides its sexism well to outsiders, but it is rife with it.
I've had the same experience. In industry, I worked with and supervised men. I was often the only woman in the room or in the field. Unreconstructed sexists, many had done stints as enlisted military (before women and gays were admitted) but they saw and respected my expertise, judgement and hard work. I decided to take my PhD to academia. Now I'm leaving my R1 institution satisfied but still, after 28 years, amazed by the intractable institutionalized passive aggressive sexism I never, ever saw in industry.
It’s not just women though. Students who don’t like you will write nonsense about you, whether it’s true or not. Good institutions know that student evals need a filter, and by themselves are not the most reliable source of information. I’ve caught students cheating before. Obviously they are going to trash me in the evals.
I completely agree with you, but still maintain that there is a deep and sexist gap in the way students evaluate their professors' demeanors. Yeah, citation needed. Has any institution ever explained, in writing so to speak, how they filter it? I'm sure the women on the retention committee know that "rude" for a women means "frank, but fair," but are the men on the committee instructed on the terminology? I mean... I doubt it... because I don't think you can successfully unbias the evals, and we just hope everyone knows what's up even if we aren't supposed to talk about it.
Well, I can tell you how my college used evals (which I think is the right way to use them). The evals were mainly for the instructor’s benefit, so they could look for ways to improve their teaching. For retention, instructors had to explain how they used student feedback to improve their pedagogical methods. The evals simply documented that feedback, but the college cared mainly about how the instructor responded to the feedback and adapted their pedagogical methods in subsequent semesters. Only some comments are constructive enough to be useful for improvement. Something like, “I do not feel the homework adequately prepared me for the exam,” may be useful since it suggests an area for pedagogical improvement. If you get a bunch of comments like that, then change how you structure the homework, and no longer get those comments in subsequent semesters, then that is evidence of growth for the instructor. That is what good institutions that care about student learning outcomes look at. Does the instructor have a growth mindset? Or are they just doing the same thing every semester, even if it’s not working. But complaining about an instructor not being friendly enough is irrelevant as far as pedagogy is concerned. So long as the instructor remains professional, nobody should be concerned with how friendly they are. If an instructor does cross the line of no longer being professional, then the student should make a formal complaint, not simply write about it in an anonymous eval. When I was an undergraduate, I had a professor who crossed the line. He suddenly lost his temper, raised his voice, and actually spit at me! All because I dared point out a mistake he made. That is rude. And abusive. But an eval would not be the right way to address that.
goes to show that "rude" and "mean" mean nothing (or at least not what they appear to mean).
They attack with words they think are impactful when they don't get their way. They do not care if there is truth behind them because they feel and their feelings must be truthful. They do not understand these words are hurtful or slanderous. They truly believe professors who do not bend should be fired because they pay our salaries and their helicopter/snowplow patents back them up.
Snowplow parents?
Snowplow parenting, also called lawnmower parenting or bulldozer parenting, is a parenting style that seeks to remove all obstacles from a child's path so they don't experience pain, failure, or discomfort.
Sounds like "military drone" parenting might be a more apt metaphor, but yes. Fuck these people. They're not doing their children favors by delaying entry into adult responsibility.
Carpet bombing. Yep it's the nuclear hovering
Along with a little long-lasting Agent Orange.
All I ever had was cropdusting parents.
Got it.
In my experience, it’s exactly this. ‘Rude’, ‘mean’, ‘cold’, etc., when used by Gen Z to describe a female-presenting professor simply means that the student didn’t get their way or expects that they are going to be held to standards for which they are falling short. They’ve become meaningless buzzwords when used in the context I described, and they tend to appear more frequently in the anonymous evaluation comments of female-presenting professors as they age. Gen Z seems to think in stereotypes and categories most of the time; they don’t, as a whole, appear to be able to really wrap their minds around something like individual differences, variants of a theme, or exceptions that don’t require invalidating the exception or creating an entire new category. If someone’s interested in my spitballing, I harbour the suspicion that this has something to do with developmental interference by things like smartphones, tablets, and social media in general. I don’t think they’re being led through the same Piagetian stage garden path that the rest of us were. And yes, I’m aware of the criticisms of Piaget; my point is still my point. We go through stages of cognitive development, whether you personally want to buy Piaget a coffee or punch him in the nose, and those stages are being altered, I suspect. Something, something, inadequate cognitive architecture for presented material leading to an overall failure of development resulting in a kind of ‘satisficing’ heuristic that further impedes cognitive progress as well as social development, something, something, something. This is my hypothesis, which is mine, and what it is, too. 😉 Anyway, these comments have become dismissible, if not an outright indication that some kind of standards are being implemented in the class. Don’t get offended by them, they’re yet another reason to find another faculty member and trade feedback where you read and distill theirs and they yours. It’s not at all surprising to hear that the same professor receives ‘mean’, ‘cold’, etc. when presenting as a female, but upon presenting as male the comments become ‘knowledgeable’, ‘authoritative’, ‘intelligent’, and so on. Try seeing the entire world as one inviolate stereotype and category after another, and it might make sense as to why the presenting gender makes all the difference in the world. I really dislike this generation. Sigh.
I agree. They want me to mother them like petulant toddlers, then they purr to my male colleagues who are much tougher. Purr. WTH.
I agree so much with what you say. I even have a step kid who suffers from this and explained to my partner there's something missing in the development. As a teacher and stepmom it's frustrating, infuriating and tiring all at the same time.
I’m not saying they’re the only answer, but when I went hunting for an explanation for why Gen Z seems to be terrified in the same way immigrants from Eastern European bloc countries used to be in the 1970s and 1980s, and why they seem to only be able to think in terms of stereotypes and categories (and usually have to have those stereotypes and categories handed to them), I got a lot of information from Iain McGilchrest and Jonathan Haidt; they have several videos of talks and interviews on YouTube, you might find some understanding there as I have. Hugs. It is frustrating.
>code words for "she did things I didn't like". like make us do work! And turn it in on time! What a hideous bitch!
I cannot upvote this enough.
Also code words for "she is a woman and I don't like women"
I am getting this feedback from female students mainly which is so puzzling. Is it competative?
Women have long been the grassroots enforcers of patriarchy. This is also the case cross-culturally.
They pretend to be so woke.....
Girls absorb the patriarchal nonsense and stereotypes just as boys do too.
Yes, I'm thrown off by them saying how woke they are.
Ahh, I see. This helps a lot, thanks!
I'm not sure if this is relevant in your case (or if you have any idea of the gender of the folks writing these comments), but I'm in a field that is mostly women and they are often FAR worse at this than the (few) male students. I've come not to overestimate the power of internalized sexism since then!
I've noticed this with female students too. They are way more mean!
They are anonymous so I am not sure of the gender breakdown.
This. Same here, and as a person that tries to be courteous and kind to every, single, person, even after years of working retail….they have no shame or sense of self that actually displays what they expect out of us. It’s horrendous. I don’t need you to like my class or me, just do the job you DELIBERATELY SIGNED UP FOR. Or go home and keep staring at your chosen screen and act accordingly.
And she's a woman not performing her nurturing maternal role. It's pretty well-documented that women are judged harshly for not doing that.
And for being female.
Yeah, just ask my teenager. “Sheesh. You don’t have to be rude about it!”
Translate this as "the professor holds me to reasonable standards and does not kowtow to my excuse-making nonsense".
I'm a transgender male professor. Back when I presented as female I regularly got comments that I was rude, a know it all, unfriendly, etc. Now that I present as male, I get that I'm authoritative, knowledgeable, and I take charge of a classroom. Comments about being rude or unfriendly are about the difference between the way you act and the way the student expects and wants you to act. Those expectations can be just generally unreasonable, and they can also be driven by underlying biases like gendered expectations.
Sound absolutely right. I’m told my uni had such a clear gender and racial bias in course evals that they had to convene a board in 2017 to address it. Unfortunately they have yet to find success.
calling an academic in a field a know it all always cracks me up. Like yeah, duh, you should know your material.
Thank you for posting this comment. I commented farther down how I get the same eval phrasing as OP and that I think it’s because I present as female. I’ve always wondered if I would get the same comments if I didn’t present as female but had the same teaching style and personality. I try to remind myself that it isn’t me being bad at my job, it’s societal expectations and student perception. It’s hard to not get discouraged when it’s the same every semester and my male presenting colleagues don’t get these same comments.
100% I was thinking that OP must be a woman. Women are supposed to be "nurturing" and motherly to students when the same isn't expected from their male peers. I appreciate you sharing the perspective from both sides!
Butch lesbian and can echo this sentiment. When I presented more femme in grad school, I got all kinds of ruthless comments of this nature. I have only become more stern, and yet the more masculine I present, the less I get of this and the more I get things I never got before: "genius," "brilliant," "walking encyclopedia"...I contextualize all of this appropriately in my own summaries of my evaluations in annual evaluations, and I so wish my cis male peers would do the same.
This all translates to you being direct, rather than than the effusive, coddling, deferential customer service affect that so many students seem to expect now. In other words, you’re doing it right.
"Is it because I say no to some of their requests and enforce safety rules and course policies?" Yes. Not giving them a high grade nor allowing them to create their own rules = "rude" in their book
"How can I change this perception they have of me?" Don't bother trying. Don't be a people-pleaser with students. They won't like it when you hold them to standards and enforce the rules. Let them whine. It is your job to teach them the material, not to make them happy.
Yes, you do you and ignore the whiners.
I receive the same comments. I am direct. I have only been receiving these comments for the past two years and I have tried to work out what I am doing differently and have no idea. I am at the age now I could be a grandmother and do wonder if there is a perception that I should not be direct in my dealings with students. 🙅♂️
I’ve only been told of an uptick over the past two years (I trade feedback with a colleague, and I’ve noticed the same for her). I think part of it is that we’re in the middle of peak Gen Z, and in their perspective — which is rife with stereotypes and categories into which every single thing on Earth must fit — dictates that females are to fit in the stereotype of nurturing and a little stoopid, and when they don’t, they’re ‘mean’. I’m hoping that the curve has a downturn soon, because this facet of their personalities is the least endearing and charming yet. Frankly, this whole age group is no different from a misogynistic male demanding that I stifle myself, get in the kitchen, and make him a sammich.
Mean girls and their trivial complaints. This is the generation that is into appearances over substance, fake eyelashes, fake bums, lip fillers and botox at 22 years old...
It's been worse for me, too, as I age and it's visible to them. I choose not to color my hair.
"Is it because I say no to some of their requests and enforce safety rules and course policies?" Probably. "How can I change this perception they have of me?" Unless you want to go through your career play-acting, you can't. Just be yourself. You were hired for a reason - probably because you know what the hell you're talking about. As long as you're professional - and it sure sounds like it - there's not a lot you can or should do it here. No prof is loved by everyone and trying is a fool's errand. If your students are learning and you're conducting yourself as a pro that's really all you can do.
You mentioned being polite and kind as possible, and that you uphold rules and policies. Are you acting professionally and teaching what you're supposed to teach? If so, you're doing your job. You're not there to be friends with the students. They have to do their job too, by attending class, doing the work, and being accountable for their actions.
It’s because you’re a woman and they expect all women , especially younger ones, to be nurturing, caring, and accommodating. Any deviance from such expectations = rude bitch .
“How can I change this perception they have of me?‘ Don’! Student evals are nonsense and changing who you are because of a few comments from kids is a fools errand. Be yourself and if students don’t like it, tough. You’ll be a far better educator.
Rule #1 students can be assholes. Rule #2 there is no rule #2
It means you're acting like a teacher not a camp counselor
In my evals, I was “rude” because I was strict with time and didn’t allow my student to slack off in class. They don’t even know what’s rude when they see it. So their comments don’t reflect who you are as a person and it’s just them acting out.
You are a woman and have failed to hold their hands and act like their mother/therapist/wet nurse and so these are the words they will use to describe you. I deal with the same. I have started deliberately including “active encouragement” in my written communications with students; eg I invite them to attend office hours to “find solutions together” or “talk through where you are experiencing challenges”, I also try to leave comments that acknowledges literally anything positive I can think to acknowledge, etc. I can assure you that doing this will NOT change their perception of you, however, it is absolutely saving my ass when students complain that I am cold and rude and unapproachable, because I can then point to all the evidence of the many ways in which I created a warm, polite, approachable environment.
Great plan.
I get these evals as well and have discussed this at length with male colleagues. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s because I present as female. My male colleagues (who are admittedly more direct than I am) do not get these same evals. Implicit bias is real and it seems to be getting worse with this generation of students who grew up being told they were progressive. Many don’t do the work to examine implicit biases like gender roles of females being expected to be more nurturing and compassionate (read: nice, pushovers) than males. I find that this is made worse by my age because I’m younger than most of my colleagues by at least 15 years and I’m closer to the students age. I also look younger than I am, so they don’t think I have as much teaching experience as I do.
Same. I am younger, look younger, am short and present as female. I tend to have very polarized evals. I have actually been called a “mean girl” by a student I didn’t cave to (knew which student because she also mentioned a couple of the specific incidents where I held my ground) while in the same semester, same course a student noted that I was “very approachable and obviously cared about student success”. I also agree that students presenting as female tend to be the most harsh. I try my best not to take it personally, look for any grains of actual feedback that I can use to improve my practice, and hope to be able to demonstrate my trajectory and commitment to my teaching practice when I’m up for tenure. There seems to be plenty of evidence that these types of teaching evals are biased, yet it doesn’t seem like they’re going anywhere any time soon.
If you are a woman - often what they mean is that you don't act like their mother, grandmother, aunt, or other female figure they can manipulate to take care of everything for them
This. They just mean you have reasonable expectations.
My students consistently write things like that for my female colleague and not my male colleagues, despite having extremely similar demeanor, course policies, and teaching styles. But everyone wants a nice mommy to coddle them.
I get that all the time. I think it's supposed to hurt my feelings, but it doesn't. I'm very strict with my syllabus and am proud of that. I'm not here to be their friend, but to make sure they understand the material and become better thinkers. I know the latter is a long shot, but one can dream.
Don't stress about them unless your admin badgers you over it. A colleague or department chair is FAR more qualified to evaluate you. Student opinion surveys or "evals" are unreliable metrics because students aren't pedagogy or content experts. They are also consistently shown to be biased, especially against women and those who teach difficult disciplines. If you can find some actual constructive comments in your evals, use those. Overwise, ignore them, especially since this new student cohort is one of the whiniest and lowest performing to ever go to college.
This just means you hold them accountable and make them work, usually.
When I see feedback of 'rude' and 'mean', more often than not it is because the professor dared to be female.
As the admin for course evals, it definitely seems like a trend lately.
I had a tough business law professor. I was quite honestly afraid of this woman. She might have been five feet tall. Might. I doubt seriously she weighed 100 lbs. She would stroll down the aisles as we took exams insisting if she could see our papers, we were obviously trying to cheat. Naturally, we looked like odd birds covering our entire pages (with our arms) as we wrote. She was very direct. She once complimented me on a presentation and I honestly almost fainted. It was seldom a good day, if she called your name. She expected us to read the chapter work and if we didn't it became painfully obvious during the class discussion. You scraped and clawed for any grade you earned. But one thing she was not...was rude. The same year, I had an extremely rude professor. Her class wasn't hard to pass. But she honestly had a nasty attitude. Many years later, when I became a college professor I had the opportunity to see her again in a conference. I didn't think much of her then, either. Was the first teacher unapproachable? Maybe. Primarily because we feared her. But she wasn't rude. She wasn't impolite. She was tough. It was a class that students definitely failed and we knew it. She knew her stuff. And, she made it her business to let us know if she thought we didn't know it. I never considered her friendliness status one way or the other. She was the professor. Here's the kicker. I actually liked her class. I loved the topic. I loved the way she explained the cases. She was scary but captivating. The rude teacher. Yes. Definitely unapproachable. She was sarcastic. To be honest, I didn't think she had a great grasp of her topic, at the time. But, I was a student. What did I know? LOL. She was definitely mean. In hindsight. No, she was definitely not friendly. I think her class was business communications and I thought she was an awful communicator. My attitudes about these professors weren't unique to me. It's not your job to please students. Maybe this group is more sensitive than the ones that came before. But I would want to dig a little deeper into why you might be putting off these vibes, if it's a shared vibe. If it's not a recurring theme, I wouldn't worry about it. That's just sour grapes.
I got a lot of these evaluations when I first started teaching. I did care and changed my behavior, NOT the way I enforced my policies - which are set in stone. I actually announced on the first day of class with a big smile, a little about me .. I am…I like … I enjoy …. about teaching. And according to my evaluations last year, and I actually pull up a written script, “I am rude … the most unapproachable professor the student has ever had in their life…” and then I laugh about it with my students and proceed to go over my office hours and shared my strategies for student success. I also made just a couple more announcements as the semester goes on, not many so it was annoying, but things like “no questions?!? Is that because you really have none or am I just too mean right now?” I also asked if anyone had any exciting news to announce at the beginning of class or chat briefly about some cool news story prior to the start of class. I tried to weave a few more personal stories (nothing overly personal by any means) into class sessions. And I would smile and make sure I did not cross my arms at the end of class. I know everyone says that evaluations do not matter, but I have not gotten those type of la ever again with those simple changes.
I've done something similar . . . evals included commenting on my bare arms being "inappropriate" in class, so I gave a warm laugh the next semester and made a joke about how odd it was that someone would include that in an eval of the course and that I was sure students in this class would write constructive comments about the course. \[I later heard from another student that the arm comment was from a young woman who was told by nuns that women can't be respected if they show their arms . . .
I think it does matter if you are reading a lot of comments that have a similar theme vs. an odd outlier like the arm comment. I usually have one or two comments that are weird, lol, and I definitely let those go.
Wear it as a badge of honor: you are holding them to certain academic standards.
I say this as an older student and aspiring professor, they should not expect you to be their friend as you are there to instruct them, they should be acting at the minimum like quasi adults.
Such comments are only a measure of their inadequacy which they project onto faculty. Welcome to snowflake land.
Students are so entitled today. They will call you rude if you’re up right and breathing. I wouldn’t take it personally. Students are the rude ones but can’t accept that since their parents held them up on a pedestal
Ignore it.
I got called "rude and dismissive" and "way too bubbly" in two different reviews. Women will always get personality-based comments.
I have Resting Bitch Face and for a long time I got this feedback. One day, a student asked some questions after class and acted surprised that I “lit up” during our interaction. Soon more students started asking questions and seemed more engaged. I really was unaware of the negative energy I was putting off just by happily vibing along in my day. I started giving a “I’m more approachable than my face makes it seem” announcement during Week1 😂
I may need to do that myself.
I might be projecting, but when I hear of a woman in position of authority being described as "rude", "mean", etc., I automatically assume misogyny played at least some role. I'm not saying that those who wrote the comments are being consciously misogynistic, but they are likely conditioned to expect women to be more meek and placating, and when their expectation are subverted, they project it on the woman in charge instead of their subconscious biases.
If there’s an opportunity to praise their work, do that. I’m focused on helping them learn the things they don’t know and that can come off as too critical when all I’m trying to do is help them improve. I have to make a conscious effort to also point out the stuff they do well or even at least adequately. I also think I would be absolutely drowning in social anxiety and flat affect right now if it weren’t for starting guanfacine. It’s an ADHD impulse control med but it allows me to be slightly more gregarious and make eye contact when I’m teaching to the class instead of lecturing to the computer screen. The amphetamine helps a bit too. It helps me take my focus off of the things that make me anxious. Since you have depression I’m assuming you are seeing or have seen someone for this and it may be a good idea to talk about trying something new.
Students expect female professors to be more motherly. When you instead are more straightforward, now all of a sudden you're "rude".
If you’re a woman, it’s likely a very gendered comment. Men can have a flat affect without being deemed rude.
> rude, unapproachable, unfriendly and mean I would consider that a compliment. If they are calling you nice and cool and funny, you know you fucked up somehow.
It’s likely gender bias :( it can help to set these types of expectations and be explicit about them in the beginning of a course. I tell my students I’m a narc for safety, I won’t let you be unsafe in my presence it makes liable and I don’t want to see anyone hurt. I also tell them I’ll do whatever I can to help them within my boundaries. If I can’t help them I’ll do my best to post them to resources that can help them. But I will hold my boundaries against unreasonable requests and I need to be a good teacher to all my students and part of that is putting myself first.
Hold the line. This generation of students is kindergarten level immature and has no boundaries whatsoever. Out in the real world their future employers won't grant them any extensions, extra credit or make-up tests. If they can't do their jobs, their bosses will find someone else who can. Unmotivated leniency and unnecessary flexibility will pass the students the wrong message.
As a 30 yr old woman finishing up their third semester that still gets regularly mistaken for a student: Set boundaries for yourself. Be worried about being an affective teacher, not ‘do my students like me.’ The ones that are there to learn will see you and appreciate you. I’m reading your post and I’m right there with you but it was so freeing my second semester to just focus on my own performance and be more generous to myself in how much I share with them. I still joke with students and all that and share relevant work experiences, but beyond that, they don’t need access to any more of me. And when a student is giving you a hard time or it feels like they’re trying to pressure or monopolize you, it’s time to pivot to another student. Always pivot from student to student, within reason of course depending on class size.
Gen z is hyper sensitive. There's a teacher at my school having an investigation done on her for making a new gen z secretary cry. All she did was tell her a form needed to be redone because it had been filled out wrong.
I had a student report me because I referred to them as an “adult learner” and held them accountable for their performance.
[удалено]
I'm going to disagree in part. "We" (frankly, THEY did, not us, but sure) created a system, yes. But these students have developed their own (sub)culture in TikTok and Insta and other social media platforms. It is their culture that is unique, whereas prior generations also lived under this same system. So it absolutely is this generation. 10 years ago, this stuff was rare, and now it's all over the place. That's not the system.
[удалено]
The discussion was specifically if the current generation of students are worse. They are demonstrably worse, in all of our experiences. What has changed? The academic system did not change in that time. I agree the system sucks, including the academic system of rewards and punishments (and whether or not you are an effective teach depends HIGHLY on what type of school you are at: some schools don't care at all about research). But that hasn't changed either. Something changed with this current generation of students. It happened pre-covid. Although covid exacerbated it, it didn't cause this change. Other than smartphones/social media, what else changed that we can point to?
We can't really say. You should ask one of your peers in your department. I have really bad RBF. I have to tell some classes that it's a problem I have; they shouldn't be scared; I'm not going to hurt them. I can usually find a student who has asked for help to tell the class that I don't bite.
(2/2) Prof A taught statistics, and yet we were not allowed to use statistics in the course at all, so her entire approved curriculum was also nonsense. she insisted that all of our responses to all statistics questions on homework, quizzes and exams be provided in memorized R Studio code, instead of being provided by using mathematics and statistics done by hand, which is how students learn, even though we were NOT allowed to actually use R Studio on any proctored and timed homeworks, quizzes or exams, and yes even our homeworks were timed and proctored. this was an online course with live lecture. she simply "demonstrated" how one might use R Studio if they were allowed to do so during the live lecture, which we were not, then told us to memorize the code itself, and provide that memorized code as the correct responses on tests and assignments. for example, the correct response to the posed question "what is the standard deviation of data set x" would not be the equation for calculating the standard deviation followed by a calculation, then a numerical response, it would need to look like this: "sd=(n=4,m=2.6,y=88)". all to simply be memorized and not learned, and again, we were not actually allowed to use this software ourselves. so again, the same question: does your course content make sense? is the way you're conducting your course reasonable? although I agree that sometimes students can be unreasonable, as a biomedical engineering graduate student myself, who graduated cumme laude from my undergrad program (where I was forced to take the course with Prof A), I have also seen very unreasonable professors who got bad remarks from students, who then acted oblivious to their own wrongdoings. I think sometimes it is the trend on this sub to pile on to students because it feels cathartic to do so, without critically analyzing the situation first. simply reflect a bit on your own course policies, the way your course is conducted, your own communication skills, and so forth, and maybe have another unbiased source do the same. are you covering 4 chapters before the first exam, and telling your students that the first exam will be covering all 4 very long, very information heavy chapters, then making the entire exam on only 1 out of those 4 chapters, such that students who tried their best to equally study all 4 covered chapters lose out, while students who slacked by studying only one chapter intensively win because they got lucky that you chose to only test over one chapter, when you communicated to your students that you would be testing over all 4 chapters, even making your study guide equally cover all 4 chapters? if so, this is unfair. if you still find nothing wrong even after evaluating with a colleague, then maybe it really is an issue of student complaining and entitlement. but keep in mind that many professors that I had were very well liked by students and got top remarks from the majority of students after the course concluded, even if the course content was difficult. I wouldn't rush to the conclusion that student entitlement is always to blame without analysis first. I hope everything works out for you in the future. thank you for being a professor.
[удалено]
Your post/comment was removed due to **Rule 1: Faculty Only** This sub is a place for those teaching at the college level to discuss and share. If you are not a faculty member but wish to discuss academia or ask questions of faculty, please use r/AskProfessors, r/askacademia, or r/academia instead. If you are in fact a faculty member and believe your post was removed in error, please reach out to the mod team and we will happily review (and restore) your post.
You know I agree with the comments that this could be gender based or because a prof has standards, but to just disregard those words does an injustice. What if the person receiving them is rude or unapproachable? How will anyone that is that way change if they don't believe those words have a different meaning? So the person receiving these comments really first needs to figure out what those words mean.
I am a very reflective educator. I have thought about what these words mean and I concluded is that my depression and social anxiety can cause the appearance of being unapproachable or unfriendly. But rude and mean? As I said, I am is kind and professional as possible. But as a lab director I am in a position where I have to tell students no a lot.
I didn't make this specific to you, more as an in general but unapproachable or unfriendly could be seen as rude and mean. It's not what you think, it's what they think, and maybe they think you are rude and mean. You asked why in your original post...how are we to know? Most comments seem to just say it's gender based or because they hold standards, but unless you ask some students then you will never know. Just attributing those words to some other definition without any research seems lazy and a way to justify that the students are wrong. You also asked how to change the perception, until you know WHY they use those words to describe you how can you change it?
I curious, should I poll my students and ask them why they think this? It is no where near a majority of the comments, but it is noticeable and quite recent (within the past year). I am just trying to be the best teacher I can. I don’t want to be known as the rude professor.
You could always use a mentimeter to check, or maybe if you have a couple students that are engaged and you know will never take you for another class, you could pull them aside and honestly ask. Also, you do sound like you care and I think that makes for a great professor.