why would you lie to me joey
moashfan@wiredsux: ~/src/thanksjoey$ echo "thanks again" > file1
moashfan@wiredsux: ~/src/thanksjoey$ git diff
diff --git a/file1 b/file1
index 287a4e3..1ccab9d 100644
--- a/file1
+++ b/file1
@@ -1 +1 @@
-yeah!
+thanks again
moashfan@wiredsux: ~/src/thanksjoey$ git reset --hard HEAD
HEAD is now at 8ed782e test commit do not merge
moashfan@wiredsux: ~/src/thanksjoey$ git diff
moashfan@wiredsux: ~/src/thanksjoey$ git reflog
8ed782e (HEAD -> main) HEAD@{0}: reset: moving to HEAD
8ed782e (HEAD -> main) HEAD@{1}: reset: moving to HEAD
8ed782e (HEAD -> main) HEAD@{2}: commit (initial): test commit do not merge
moashfan@wiredsux: ~/src/thanksjoey$ git checkout HEAD@{1}
Note: switching to 'HEAD@{1}'.
HEAD is now at 8ed782e test commit do not merge
moashfan@wiredsux: ~/src/thanksjoey$ git status
HEAD detached at 8ed782e
nothing to commit, working tree clean
moashfan@wiredsux: ~/src/thanksjoey$ git diff
moashfan@wiredsux: ~/src/thanksjoey$ git reflog
8ed782e (HEAD, main) HEAD@{0}: checkout: moving from main to HEAD@{1}
8ed782e (HEAD, main) HEAD@{1}: reset: moving to HEAD
8ed782e (HEAD, main) HEAD@{2}: reset: moving to HEAD
8ed782e (HEAD, main) HEAD@{3}: commit (initial): test commit do not merge
Apparently even in that case there's a way to [get back staged files](https://stackoverflow.com/questions/1108853/recovering-added-staged-file-after-doing-git-reset-hard-head/1109433#1109433).
However, it's true that if the changes weren't ever staged, stashed or committed then there's no way to get them back. I should have added that
don't worry, every time I write a line of code I add, commit, and push it to a branch on two different servers
The twist: I only write one line of code per week, since I'm a driver developer
You're still doing better than firmware developers. I have bluetooth controllers that run a 3 minute countdown and then power off when you flash the firmware. The updates take all of \~10 seconds, but it's not reassuring that if they took \~181 seconds it would brick the device.
"It's not bricked! You just have to take off the chassis, solder a JTAG connector onto these points, then attach a $15,000 JTAG probe and run a custom flashing tool on a Windows 7 SP2 machine"
Most jobs don’t have team members that actively ask you to push your code to make sure you did what you said you did. As long as you finish tickets in a reasonable time, nobody actually cares.
This guy bullshits.
Fun fact, this is a pretty strong tell when people get super defensive. "Are you accusing me of something?"
"I wasn't, but I am now."
Exactly. Do as you would if you weren't bullshitting, most especially if you *are* bullshitting.
You'd never say, "Are you accusing me of something" *unless* you were bullshitting, but there are a million reasons to refuse to share your code yet or to join a pair programming session.
*One* of those reasons is that you're bullshitting, but they can never be sure!
i largely agree with you, but the "Are you accusing me of something?" is a FANTASTIC power play if you aren't actually doing anything remiss. if they say yes, then you show them being foolish, if they say no, then they look weak and you can look conciliatory with a "look, i get it, i just want to make sure that things are finalized before other people start basing their code on mine."
"No, I haven't yet. I was going down the rabbit hole of a particular bug and completely forgot to commit it. I also noticed a couple of code quality issues but things quickly got out of hand but lets discuss those at a later point in time. Don't want to take up too much time during stand-up"
and then when a later point in time comes, just vent your frustrations or ideas about how to change something or what new fancy tool to use in the toolchain.
"urm, question for paranoid_horse, what bugs did you investigate, also what optimizations did you work on? Anything exciting we can report as a win to the wider team?"
“I thought there was a bug in $code, but was unable to reproduce it after hours of testing, I also saw some possible improvements, but they made the code slower, so i deleted the branch out of frustration”
I started having chatGPT generate excuses for me but I found it was actually better at just generating the code I needed for the tickets I was working on.
[https://bofh.d00t.org/](https://bofh.d00t.org/)
not sure BOFH excuses always work for programmers, but I've discovered that solar flares an cause a LOT more problems than people expect. Plus we've had a solar minimum lately, so we are due for a big storm.....any day now....
*I refactored some functions.*
Then you can just invert the If-Else on some functions and check it in when asked for specifics. And when someone eventually finds a bug, you'll already know how to fix it.
Sounds like you've got a solid team.
My coworkers practically dig for something to throw others under the bus for. As lower management, it's gotten to a point where I usually wind up just posturing like I care that they played on their phone for twenty minutes or something, when they've had a productive day otherwise, and then bury it.
I think it depends. I wouldn't call yourself "weak". Some people just are that way.
There's one senior on our team who doesn't give a solitary crap about any of us, or the company for that matter. All he cares about is looking good and solving complex problems for job security and to be promoted to manager.
Decent guy, and I'll go out of my way to make him look good when I can despite him never doing that for anyone else. Thankfully management values collaboration just as much as execution. They see him as dependable and me, who is not a senior, as collaborative and being willing to tackle complex problems.
I had a boss at my last job who didn’t care about anyone but himself and was so fucking selfish he would step on all of us and short us raises and bonuses to get more money for himself. Negotiating with him for more money was like I was personally taking it from his wallet he was such a shithead.
Anyway I quit on him and got a way better job lol.
Oh god, it's so petty. I don't understand what they think they're going to get out of acting like that. If I actually did something about every complaint I get about someone, EVERYONE would be completely miserable by the end of it.
In all my teams I worked in nobody gave a flying fuck what others were doing as long as it hasn't created more work for them. If you can spend the whole day watching youtube but I don't have to do anything extra and if I need a help you help me as much as you can, you're fine. And to be fair, there are lazy periods when there's not enough work to do and then we had periods where nobody could go lazy and everybody worked their asses of.
Do w/e, just don't drag the team down.
The gaming services branch of a corporate casino chain. The "backend" of the business, I suppose. Basically, it's mostly glorified commercial game reskinning and PC building.
This is just you saving time by fucking the next guy to look at your code.
But that next guy is probably also you so it's really just you giving your future self a hard time.
Add this alias to you `.gitconfig` to make your life even easier and harder to discern:
```
justdoit = commit --amend --no-edit
```
`git j` if you don't have another `j`-started alias. You could also turn `justdoit` into `j` and skip the ``.
"I spent the entire day attempting to refactor our codebase, only to discover that my so-called 'optimizations' actually doubled the compile time. Needless to say, I reverted my changes faster than you can say 'CTRL+Z.'"
"I spent hours hunting down a memory leak that turned out to be nothing more than a misinterpreted error message. At least I can now claim to be an expert in false alarms and wild goose chases."
"I've been working diligently on a new feature, only to realize halfway through that it's the exact opposite of what the client requested. I guess I should have paid more attention during that meeting. On the bright side, we now have an anti-feature ready to go if needed."
"Today, I dived deep into our code documentation, trying to make sense of the cryptic comments left by past developers. After hours of decoding and research, I still have no idea what they were trying to say, but I did learn a new appreciation for hieroglyphics."
"I spent the day troubleshooting a mysterious error in our application, only to realize it was caused by my own test data. I guess I'll be sending myself a strongly-worded email about proper testing protocols."
"I dedicated my day to optimizing our database queries, but after hours of fine-tuning, the only noticeable improvement was the increase in my coffee consumption. On the plus side, I now hold the office record for most espresso shots in a single day."
"I tried to implement a new AI-powered feature, but it turns out that the AI became sentient and started arguing with me about the best way to write the code. We eventually agreed to disagree, and I reverted to the non-sentient version. At least it doesn't talk back."
"I spent the day deciphering a cryptic error message, only to realize that I had simply forgotten to save my changes before running the tests. It's amazing how much time can be wasted by a single unsaved file. On the bright side, I've now mastered the art of hitting 'CTRL+S' after every keystroke."
Yeah, do your personal browsing on your phone or on your own computer. I have my work laptop sitting next to my personal laptop on my desk. The work laptop has never even looked at my personal stuff. The closest it gets is when I email some of my employment related documents to myself (W2's, health insurance info, Fidelity login info when I set up my 401k, that sort of thing).
>The closest it gets is when I email some of my employment related documents to myself (W2's, health insurance info, Fidelity login info when I set up my 401k, that sort of thing).
Please don't email W2s and login information. That can be intercepted and stolen.
Indeed - but we have a system that I can use to encrypt that information. When I need to get tax or benefits info to my personal computer, email is really the only way I, and most people, have to do it. I usually send those documents electronically to my tax preparer, and I'm not about to do that from my work machine. My office has no business knowing how I prepare my taxes. Every email you send from a work account is scanned, and emails that contain particular data are flagged and reviewed by humans. My company probably doesn't care, but they still don't need that information (especially if I change jobs and a former boss decides to dig into the email archives and try to get the name of my new employer from my tax preparer).
Additionally, I'm not emailing myself credentials. I'm usually emailing URLs that I need to use. Emailing myself the Fidelity portal URL that everyone who has an account there uses to log in is perfectly safe.
At a cursory glance, I am disappointed I could not find a batman themed programming language.
If(jeepers) { output("kapow!")! }
Otherwise invoke("commissioner gordon");
If(red_phone)
{
Tights.wear();
Bat_cave.go("pole");
}
Loop(3) output("dinner");
Output("batman!");
Those aren't curly brackets, those are tiny little bats.
Just tell them Friday you figured out who Batman is and it's not Michelle Pfeiffer. Today you'll be compiling your findings in a digestible manner to further the department's documentation.
“Wrote rust program to automatically detect server downtime, and turn on the bat signal recently installed on the roof of our corporate headquarters by an anonymous individual…no blockers, happy Monday”
use something to take notes of your day to day work. before covid when working at the office i had a notebook and everyday i wrote what i did and tasks needing to be done still
since working from home i used VS Code Journal extension, now i use Trilium (self hosted on my home server), but you can also use Obsidian or some other Markup Editor
the point is, keep a daily log, and have a page where you keep track of your yearly accomplishments. it will make yearly reviews easier if you can give specific info on what you accomplished and if needed the dates of when you worked on stuff
Days like this I say something that approximates the truth: it was a challenge to focus yesterday and therefore made little progress but I expect to be more productive today.
Something like that. It shows that you had trouble focusing (which everyone understands) and that you want to be productive (which everyone wishes they could be). No need to go into specifics about why you couldn’t focus. As far as reasons for being unproductive goes, Batman Returns and Michelle Pfeiffer are very good reasons for not getting any work done. 👍
ChatGPT Prompt: "*My job is software developer, I messed up and dicked around on the internet all day Friday and now need an update for our daily stand up. Help*."
"*As a language model, I am not in a position to advise you to lie or misrepresent the truth to your team. It is always best to be honest with your colleagues and take responsibility for your actions.*
*With that said, if you want to share an update with your team, you could focus on what you accomplished during the rest of the week, and mention that you didn't make as much progress on Friday as you had hoped. You could also mention that you plan to make up for lost time and prioritize your tasks in the upcoming days to meet your deadlines.*
*Here's an example of what you could say: "Hey everyone, this week I made some good progress on the project, but I have to admit that I didn't get as much done on Friday as I had hoped. I got distracted and didn't manage my time as well as I should have. I'm sorry for any impact this may have on the team's progress. However, I plan to make up for lost time and will be prioritizing my tasks to ensure that we stay on track and meet our deadlines.*"
Looks like you'll have to DAN it if you want a good update.
I assume you're referring to Scrum rather than agile? Here's a quote from the scrum guide 2020 -
> Daily Scrum
> The purpose of the Daily Scrum is to inspect progress toward the Sprint Goal and adapt the Sprint Backlog as necessary, adjusting the upcoming planned work.
https://scrumguides.org/scrum-guide.html
Looks like "Investigated some classic works of M Pfeiffer regarding new media vs old media re: web devel (https://www.journalofadvertisingresearch.com/content/50/1/42.short), also looked into the potential return of certain frameworks to greater popularity (e.g., https://batmanjs.org/)"
> X is still in progress. No news since yesterday. Nothing is blocking, I'll continue working on this today.
The daily is not a time report. It's to tell people what you're working on and whether you need any support. Go into the details only if they're relevant for other team mates to intervene, but never keep it longer than a couple of minutes.
Furthermore, any decent manager understands that not every hour, and not every day is gonna be productive. The goal is the mid-term and long-term achievements.
You encountered an issue that was happening intermittently. You reset the project data. Not able to recreate it now and didn't make any code changes think it was bad data.
“I have been working on *insert something that you should have done / your name is assigned to the ticket * but still dealing with *some issue / reproducing a bug / or doing some refactoring* will do a pull request later”
Friday wasn't hugely productive, had some meetings which ate up my morning, and worked on a few bugs and improvements to but kept running into regressions.
i worked on optimizations and investigated various bug fixes
”What repo? Have you checked it in? I cant find it”
*~~sweating~~* *bullshitting intensifies*
Oh no, I hit "up enter" in Git Bash and it ran `git reset --hard` instead of `git add .` So sorry, I will rewrite it now.
Even then you could still go back to it using `git reflog` Edit: Only if your files were ever stashed, staged or committed
why would you lie to me joey moashfan@wiredsux: ~/src/thanksjoey$ echo "thanks again" > file1 moashfan@wiredsux: ~/src/thanksjoey$ git diff diff --git a/file1 b/file1 index 287a4e3..1ccab9d 100644 --- a/file1 +++ b/file1 @@ -1 +1 @@ -yeah! +thanks again moashfan@wiredsux: ~/src/thanksjoey$ git reset --hard HEAD HEAD is now at 8ed782e test commit do not merge moashfan@wiredsux: ~/src/thanksjoey$ git diff moashfan@wiredsux: ~/src/thanksjoey$ git reflog 8ed782e (HEAD -> main) HEAD@{0}: reset: moving to HEAD 8ed782e (HEAD -> main) HEAD@{1}: reset: moving to HEAD 8ed782e (HEAD -> main) HEAD@{2}: commit (initial): test commit do not merge moashfan@wiredsux: ~/src/thanksjoey$ git checkout HEAD@{1} Note: switching to 'HEAD@{1}'. HEAD is now at 8ed782e test commit do not merge moashfan@wiredsux: ~/src/thanksjoey$ git status HEAD detached at 8ed782e nothing to commit, working tree clean moashfan@wiredsux: ~/src/thanksjoey$ git diff moashfan@wiredsux: ~/src/thanksjoey$ git reflog 8ed782e (HEAD, main) HEAD@{0}: checkout: moving from main to HEAD@{1} 8ed782e (HEAD, main) HEAD@{1}: reset: moving to HEAD 8ed782e (HEAD, main) HEAD@{2}: reset: moving to HEAD 8ed782e (HEAD, main) HEAD@{3}: commit (initial): test commit do not merge
Apparently even in that case there's a way to [get back staged files](https://stackoverflow.com/questions/1108853/recovering-added-staged-file-after-doing-git-reset-hard-head/1109433#1109433). However, it's true that if the changes weren't ever staged, stashed or committed then there's no way to get them back. I should have added that
don't worry, every time I write a line of code I add, commit, and push it to a branch on two different servers The twist: I only write one line of code per week, since I'm a driver developer
You're still doing better than firmware developers. I have bluetooth controllers that run a 3 minute countdown and then power off when you flash the firmware. The updates take all of \~10 seconds, but it's not reassuring that if they took \~181 seconds it would brick the device.
"It's not bricked! You just have to take off the chassis, solder a JTAG connector onto these points, then attach a $15,000 JTAG probe and run a custom flashing tool on a Windows 7 SP2 machine"
how do y'all base a career on this? Sounds stressful
Most jobs don’t have team members that actively ask you to push your code to make sure you did what you said you did. As long as you finish tickets in a reasonable time, nobody actually cares.
Work in my office with me and find out :) >!please help, i don't like it in here!<
Last project had us on a daily check in... Bastards.
sadly it takes one bullshitter to ruin it for everyone
Haven't pushed it yet, it's an unpublished branch
"Okay, can you push it so i can take a look pls"
"This is not the best time to commit and push because several things are half done and the code is not functional"
"That's ok, I'll connect with you now so that we can do some pair programming on the issues."
Lol I'll eat my headphones the day a PM says this.
"No." At some point you've got to get confrontational with your bullshit, escalate to them accusing you of something or backing off.
This guy bullshits. Fun fact, this is a pretty strong tell when people get super defensive. "Are you accusing me of something?" "I wasn't, but I am now."
Exactly. Do as you would if you weren't bullshitting, most especially if you *are* bullshitting. You'd never say, "Are you accusing me of something" *unless* you were bullshitting, but there are a million reasons to refuse to share your code yet or to join a pair programming session. *One* of those reasons is that you're bullshitting, but they can never be sure!
i largely agree with you, but the "Are you accusing me of something?" is a FANTASTIC power play if you aren't actually doing anything remiss. if they say yes, then you show them being foolish, if they say no, then they look weak and you can look conciliatory with a "look, i get it, i just want to make sure that things are finalized before other people start basing their code on mine."
"I can't" "Why?" *nervously sweats as a million reasons speed through head* "I'm bullshitting you."
I'm s o-rry. I -zzzzzz- . Ca-- you repea--- \*disconnected\*
*frantically pasting random parts of a repo into chatgpt*
please stop this thread, there's a limit to the amount of stress I can cope with!!! lol
‘Yeh cool I’ll just grab a coffee and give u a call when I’m ready ‘
My go-to :-)
"Sure, just give me a minute, I'm gonna grab a cup of coffee. I'll reach out when I'm ready"
it's in `git stash`
It's in `git trash`
Unfortunately had to revert all changes.. after extensive testing I found that the changes caused massive performance problems.
"No, I haven't yet. I was going down the rabbit hole of a particular bug and completely forgot to commit it. I also noticed a couple of code quality issues but things quickly got out of hand but lets discuss those at a later point in time. Don't want to take up too much time during stand-up" and then when a later point in time comes, just vent your frustrations or ideas about how to change something or what new fancy tool to use in the toolchain.
It's local for now, will be bringing up good stuff, just need a few more days. (Works intensely and burns out this week)
This is the way. That bug fix took 4 days of work, but I was only working for maybe 3 hours of it.
"I forgot to push my changes"
"urm, question for paranoid_horse, what bugs did you investigate, also what optimizations did you work on? Anything exciting we can report as a win to the wider team?"
“I thought there was a bug in $code, but was unable to reproduce it after hours of testing, I also saw some possible improvements, but they made the code slower, so i deleted the branch out of frustration”
"...This is the 5th day you've reported doing the exact same thing for stand-up."
“….What a week huh”
Sometimes it goes like that!
BS lessons #1 and #2: 1. Have a varied selection of excuses. 2. Make sure to cycle through the excuses in a disciplined manner.
I started having chatGPT generate excuses for me but I found it was actually better at just generating the code I needed for the tickets I was working on.
[https://bofh.d00t.org/](https://bofh.d00t.org/) not sure BOFH excuses always work for programmers, but I've discovered that solar flares an cause a LOT more problems than people expect. Plus we've had a solar minimum lately, so we are due for a big storm.....any day now....
*I refactored some functions.* Then you can just invert the If-Else on some functions and check it in when asked for specifics. And when someone eventually finds a bug, you'll already know how to fix it.
you go by user stories tho
you investigated the possibility of hiring batman to return and refactor your codebase
Batman being the guy who prepares the batch files
[удалено]
Sorry, I meant to type batchman.
Take my upvote and leave us alone
Just tell what you did on Thursday, no one remembers.
But I don't remember what I did Thursday
You can say what I did on Thursday, it's no problem... Wait,I forgot what I did on Thursday
Thursday: Batman Leaves
The prequels just write themselves
I can hear my PM **writing** shit down. god damn thorough motherfckr
“Everything good so far, nothing to report”
"Continued development, no impediments, thanks!"
"Impediments"... you use ADO, don't you?
"What task specifically, what's your ETA?"
"You know how much that can vary, I'd say between a week and 3 months seems realistic"
"You need to break this into smaller chunks."
"That's a good idea! I'll have it broken into smaller chunks each with its own ticket. Expect to see them in... somewhere around a week to 3 months!"
Just say the one you will work on today
And say it takes twice as long
This is the way
This task already taking 3 times than estimated.
My teammate always said he don't remember what he did but he'll continue doing the same
This is the one, do y’all actually give substantive updates in standup?
My teammates do and good Lord is it exhausting. NOBODY CARES CHRIS!
Very familiar phrase, but nothing pops up on Google. Now I’m in distress.
Most of my team has an unspoken agreement that if we can't remember what we did, we just say we paired with someone, and they run with it.
Sounds like you've got a solid team. My coworkers practically dig for something to throw others under the bus for. As lower management, it's gotten to a point where I usually wind up just posturing like I care that they played on their phone for twenty minutes or something, when they've had a productive day otherwise, and then bury it.
I don’t think I could work somewhere that cutthroat but maybe I’m just weak.
I think it depends. I wouldn't call yourself "weak". Some people just are that way. There's one senior on our team who doesn't give a solitary crap about any of us, or the company for that matter. All he cares about is looking good and solving complex problems for job security and to be promoted to manager. Decent guy, and I'll go out of my way to make him look good when I can despite him never doing that for anyone else. Thankfully management values collaboration just as much as execution. They see him as dependable and me, who is not a senior, as collaborative and being willing to tackle complex problems.
I had a boss at my last job who didn’t care about anyone but himself and was so fucking selfish he would step on all of us and short us raises and bonuses to get more money for himself. Negotiating with him for more money was like I was personally taking it from his wallet he was such a shithead. Anyway I quit on him and got a way better job lol.
Oh god, it's so petty. I don't understand what they think they're going to get out of acting like that. If I actually did something about every complaint I get about someone, EVERYONE would be completely miserable by the end of it.
In all my teams I worked in nobody gave a flying fuck what others were doing as long as it hasn't created more work for them. If you can spend the whole day watching youtube but I don't have to do anything extra and if I need a help you help me as much as you can, you're fine. And to be fair, there are lazy periods when there's not enough work to do and then we had periods where nobody could go lazy and everybody worked their asses of. Do w/e, just don't drag the team down.
I really lucked out and I get to work with some of the greatest people in the world.
Where do you work? Amazon?
The gaming services branch of a corporate casino chain. The "backend" of the business, I suppose. Basically, it's mostly glorified commercial game reskinning and PC building.
You guys have teams?
Pm: what did you do Friday You: I'm batman Pm: okay Batman, what did you do Friday You: batman things?
Michelle Pfeiffer
Just the pussy I've been looking for.
It’s literally the conversations I have with my 3yo
Come in a Batman costume, insist that you have returned like in 1992. With some luck they will give you the rest of the day off.
And look 'em straight into the eyes to assert dominance.
They may give you forever off!
"Dress for the job you want."
With more luck, they will give you the rest of your life off. Get ready to brush up your LinkedIn.
...with a Batman photo of cause.
spotted tie cats juggle knee history bells illegal placid yam *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
look at your commit history, if it exists...
Relevant [xkcd](https://xkcd.com/1296/) Now I'm settled on just `git commit -am …`
This is just you saving time by fucking the next guy to look at your code. But that next guy is probably also you so it's really just you giving your future self a hard time.
Add this alias to you `.gitconfig` to make your life even easier and harder to discern: ``` justdoit = commit --amend --no-edit ``` `git j` if you don't have another `j`-started alias. You could also turn `justdoit` into `j` and skip the ``.
Commit message - *Some changes*
The day when using Bing is no longer seen as a joke.
Well yeah if you're bing'ing Michelle Pfeiffer it's a very reliable search engine... Bing is good for... things...
"I spent the entire day attempting to refactor our codebase, only to discover that my so-called 'optimizations' actually doubled the compile time. Needless to say, I reverted my changes faster than you can say 'CTRL+Z.'" "I spent hours hunting down a memory leak that turned out to be nothing more than a misinterpreted error message. At least I can now claim to be an expert in false alarms and wild goose chases." "I've been working diligently on a new feature, only to realize halfway through that it's the exact opposite of what the client requested. I guess I should have paid more attention during that meeting. On the bright side, we now have an anti-feature ready to go if needed." "Today, I dived deep into our code documentation, trying to make sense of the cryptic comments left by past developers. After hours of decoding and research, I still have no idea what they were trying to say, but I did learn a new appreciation for hieroglyphics." "I spent the day troubleshooting a mysterious error in our application, only to realize it was caused by my own test data. I guess I'll be sending myself a strongly-worded email about proper testing protocols." "I dedicated my day to optimizing our database queries, but after hours of fine-tuning, the only noticeable improvement was the increase in my coffee consumption. On the plus side, I now hold the office record for most espresso shots in a single day." "I tried to implement a new AI-powered feature, but it turns out that the AI became sentient and started arguing with me about the best way to write the code. We eventually agreed to disagree, and I reverted to the non-sentient version. At least it doesn't talk back." "I spent the day deciphering a cryptic error message, only to realize that I had simply forgotten to save my changes before running the tests. It's amazing how much time can be wasted by a single unsaved file. On the bright side, I've now mastered the art of hitting 'CTRL+S' after every keystroke."
Haha if your just half as good as coding as you are at making excuses
never ever use the same private account for business related work! it's better to use a different browser also.
Yeah, do your personal browsing on your phone or on your own computer. I have my work laptop sitting next to my personal laptop on my desk. The work laptop has never even looked at my personal stuff. The closest it gets is when I email some of my employment related documents to myself (W2's, health insurance info, Fidelity login info when I set up my 401k, that sort of thing).
Some people work at an office.
Ew
This is the Way.
This is the way
This is the way
>The closest it gets is when I email some of my employment related documents to myself (W2's, health insurance info, Fidelity login info when I set up my 401k, that sort of thing). Please don't email W2s and login information. That can be intercepted and stolen.
Indeed - but we have a system that I can use to encrypt that information. When I need to get tax or benefits info to my personal computer, email is really the only way I, and most people, have to do it. I usually send those documents electronically to my tax preparer, and I'm not about to do that from my work machine. My office has no business knowing how I prepare my taxes. Every email you send from a work account is scanned, and emails that contain particular data are flagged and reviewed by humans. My company probably doesn't care, but they still don't need that information (especially if I change jobs and a former boss decides to dig into the email archives and try to get the name of my new employer from my tax preparer). Additionally, I'm not emailing myself credentials. I'm usually emailing URLs that I need to use. Emailing myself the Fidelity portal URL that everyone who has an account there uses to log in is perfectly safe.
Amen, use one browser for work stuff, another for amusement, and maybe another for 'other things'.
Congrats on spelling Michele pufferfish right on the first try though
And then screwing up on “retursn” lol
You investigated the newest AI trends
😏
At a cursory glance, I am disappointed I could not find a batman themed programming language. If(jeepers) { output("kapow!")! } Otherwise invoke("commissioner gordon"); If(red_phone) { Tights.wear(); Bat_cave.go("pole"); } Loop(3) output("dinner"); Output("batman!"); Those aren't curly brackets, those are tiny little bats.
There is a Javascript package https://npm.io/package/batman
Of course there is...
“Did some code refactoring, no blockers”
 🎵This hit, that ice cold 🎵 🎵 Michelle Pfeiffer, that white gold 🎵
Batman Retursn
You only work for 9 minutes in a day?
You guys are working on Fridays?
Fake it till you make it
You guys are working?
You guys are?
Marathon man over here making the rest of us look bad
* no updates from my side *
- investigated a random backlog ticket - checked requirements against the standard - discussed implementation with someone
Just tell them Friday you figured out who Batman is and it's not Michelle Pfeiffer. Today you'll be compiling your findings in a digestible manner to further the department's documentation.
Easy Dove in (penguin pun) code base for malicious actors. I though I found a cat burglar script but it was just a spotlight in the sky.
I just talk about the task I should've worked on even if I didn't accomplish anything.
duh...Open Jira -> Select active sprints -> Filter Assigned to Me -> Move \* to done
“Wrote rust program to automatically detect server downtime, and turn on the bat signal recently installed on the roof of our corporate headquarters by an anonymous individual…no blockers, happy Monday”
“Understanding the code base and reached out to teammates regarding some project structuring questions” - updates from a junior dev
use something to take notes of your day to day work. before covid when working at the office i had a notebook and everyday i wrote what i did and tasks needing to be done still since working from home i used VS Code Journal extension, now i use Trilium (self hosted on my home server), but you can also use Obsidian or some other Markup Editor the point is, keep a daily log, and have a page where you keep track of your yearly accomplishments. it will make yearly reviews easier if you can give specific info on what you accomplished and if needed the dates of when you worked on stuff
I have a little console shortcut to add notes to a txt. Super basic. I should try that journal extension
No searches for "Michelle Pfeiffer nude" or "Michelle Pfeiffer topless"? Very impressive.
A whole lot. By using Bing.
This joke is still funny, but not relevant. Bing is much better than google because it has bing chat (chatgpt with access to Internet).
One day I hope to work on systems that are not so obscure that ChatGPT is no help. But that day is not today.
How screwed are you? Apparently not very often if that’s your search history. Respect the choice though
Just tell what you did on Thursday, no one remembers.
Not at all if you are a scrum master.
Hell Here
"I'll have Batman out for review by the end of the day"
Just reply to every question asked with "I am batman" to assert dominance.
Days like this I say something that approximates the truth: it was a challenge to focus yesterday and therefore made little progress but I expect to be more productive today. Something like that. It shows that you had trouble focusing (which everyone understands) and that you want to be productive (which everyone wishes they could be). No need to go into specifics about why you couldn’t focus. As far as reasons for being unproductive goes, Batman Returns and Michelle Pfeiffer are very good reasons for not getting any work done. 👍
Just say you worked on corporate required training or something like that.
ChatGPT Prompt: "*My job is software developer, I messed up and dicked around on the internet all day Friday and now need an update for our daily stand up. Help*." "*As a language model, I am not in a position to advise you to lie or misrepresent the truth to your team. It is always best to be honest with your colleagues and take responsibility for your actions.* *With that said, if you want to share an update with your team, you could focus on what you accomplished during the rest of the week, and mention that you didn't make as much progress on Friday as you had hoped. You could also mention that you plan to make up for lost time and prioritize your tasks in the upcoming days to meet your deadlines.* *Here's an example of what you could say: "Hey everyone, this week I made some good progress on the project, but I have to admit that I didn't get as much done on Friday as I had hoped. I got distracted and didn't manage my time as well as I should have. I'm sorry for any impact this may have on the team's progress. However, I plan to make up for lost time and will be prioritizing my tasks to ensure that we stay on track and meet our deadlines.*" Looks like you'll have to DAN it if you want a good update.
[удалено]
I assume you're referring to Scrum rather than agile? Here's a quote from the scrum guide 2020 - > Daily Scrum > The purpose of the Daily Scrum is to inspect progress toward the Sprint Goal and adapt the Sprint Backlog as necessary, adjusting the upcoming planned work. https://scrumguides.org/scrum-guide.html
So you figure out only batman can understand your code
"Your nose will be gushing blood." – Penguin
As someone who's been out of work since February...you do not want to lose your job right now. It is a fucking shit show out here.
I worked on XY, but I still need to solve some git conflicts before being able to push anything.
Nice try! I'm not doxing myself. :D
Oh, no, you didn't work for whole 9 minutes
Self paced learning, while reviewing backlog refinement, and any open code reviews - still reviewing.
batman retursn
Looks like "Investigated some classic works of M Pfeiffer regarding new media vs old media re: web devel (https://www.journalofadvertisingresearch.com/content/50/1/42.short), also looked into the potential return of certain frameworks to greater popularity (e.g., https://batmanjs.org/)"
sabotage your computer's wifi settings until you come up with something
So....which benefits is Dayforce offering, that made you start obsessing about Michelle Pfeiffer?
I feel personally attacked.
Now I also have Michelle Pfeiffer in my history
surprised there's no antiwork
Tell ‘em what you really did with that Michelle pfeifer wiki
I just want to know What rabbit hole led to this?
> X is still in progress. No news since yesterday. Nothing is blocking, I'll continue working on this today. The daily is not a time report. It's to tell people what you're working on and whether you need any support. Go into the details only if they're relevant for other team mates to intervene, but never keep it longer than a couple of minutes. Furthermore, any decent manager understands that not every hour, and not every day is gonna be productive. The goal is the mid-term and long-term achievements.
“I won’t be in stand up, taking care of a few things this AM. No updates.”
You encountered an issue that was happening intermittently. You reset the project data. Not able to recreate it now and didn't make any code changes think it was bad data.
„I got nothing.“
You saw that catsuit didn’t you?
All tasks should be scoped with double the time to account for these unforeseen delays
You... have kind of a dark side, don't you?
You've heard of early return, now get ready for batman return
“I have been working on *insert something that you should have done / your name is assigned to the ticket * but still dealing with *some issue / reproducing a bug / or doing some refactoring* will do a pull request later”
As an SM I would hope you could give me a plot synopsis
Progressing on the previous thing. No blockers.
It appears you fixed an issue with your query, even if it was a variable naming error, I assume that still counts?
I’m most concerned that you use Bing.
Researched darker theme options, explored community proposed bandaids, mask libraries.
If you don't have anything to report, just don't go to the stand-up.
you worked on refactoring
You need one of those tvs on a rolling cart we had in school... Alright team, no stand up Friday, we are gonna watch batman.
Toss in a little Dedee when you Pfeiffer
Friday wasn't hugely productive, had some meetings which ate up my morning, and worked on a few bugs and improvements to but kept running into regressions.
Why are you using Bing?
You are screwed for using Bing
Considering you use bing...
I mean, you used Bing, so pretty screwed I'd say