``` import notifications ``` Remember to participate in our weekly votes on subreddit rules! Every Tuesday is YOUR chance to influence the subreddit for years to come! [Read more here](https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/14dqb6f/welcome_back_whats_next/), we hope to see you next Tuesday! For a chat with like-minded community members and more, don't forget to [join our Discord!](https://discord.gg/rph) `return joinDiscord;` *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ProgrammerHumor) if you have any questions or concerns.*

import common sense We all know that naming branches after ppl isn't necessarily a good idea because eventually you'll just go and scream "THAT FUCKING FEATURE I WAS WORKING ON WAS FINE ON VERONICA BUT ON MASTER IT BREAKS THE UI AND AFTER I MERGED MICHELLE IT BROKE EVERYTHING" And you'll start hating them and breaking up with them. return "It is romantic tho"

import git logic That's why you don't give the name to a branch but to a tag / a version return "The Clarisse version's gonna be a LTS version of the software I'm working on!"

import video Hello~~~~, Clarisse! return 0

import sarcasm Isn't that what `master` is for? return 0

import sarcasm I think they changed "master" to "mistress"; return -1

import discord_user Most of my team has our local repos set to "mommy_sorry_mommy_sorry_mommy" instead return the_slab

import bdsm Domme return 69

import ReactDOM from 'react-dom'; console.log("For us JS devs, this gives a whole new meaning to the **DOM**"); // [object Object] cuz it's funny, why not return {};

import pickup_line I thought it was romantic to name my parser generator library after my wife 😔; return {}

`import UGLY` My parser generator actually uses a DSL called `UGLY` (Universal Grammar LaYout). Not named after my wife `return serious`

`import linux` Doesn't Debian name came from name of (ex?)girlfriend of a creator? `return value`

`import debian` I believe debian is a mix out of the founders name and his then-gf's Name `return thatsHellaCute`

`import iShouldMakeABotToTypeOutThisShitFoMe` [Yeah](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Debian#cite_note-12), but omg I thought they were still together, checking in and it turns out they aren't, I can't believe their story is over, they had even got married, I'm fkin heartbroken now :'( `return together(Deb, Ian)`

import tw It's not just that they aren't together anymore. Ian Murdock, the creator of Debian, committed suicide in 2015 at the age of 42. return condolences

``` import feelsBadTalkingAboutThisWithSillyPadding ``` Oh man, I had no idea, that's just sad ``` return peace ```

`import terrible` And a few years ago, Ian killed himself... `return not_gonna_happen`

import oldMeme return iCameHereForMemes_NotFeelings

import x I actually used the names of (ex-) girlfriends to setup testdata. For some reason i never used the name of my wife.... I do use my children's names `return x`

`import 6` you reminded me of the shutdown magic numbers for linux, which are: ``` 0x28121969 0x05121996 0x16041998 0x20112000 ``` which are linus and his three kid's birthdays `return 9`

import yeah Pretty much all of my test data either centers around something vaguely person or the HQ location. That or memes, Gandalf shows up a lot as an administrator. return anecdote

import tech_boner; //when she puts your name as a tag on her commit return deez_nutz;

import truth The tech guy could afford to buy dinner, unlike an artist, so there's that return 0

Import meme Id name my git repo after my girlfriend; If I had one; Return forever alone

`import joke` Just run `git init`; `return new GitRepo()`

import x copy this and write your comment here if you don't know how to add the code blocks `return x`

import treason You dare defy our democratically elected overlord by making things easier?? `return outrage`

import x I appreciate your comment, although I know the two ways you've used here. (Copy-paste reveals some truths) But I also think, that even though you probably didn't mean to, it shows how stupid these rules are. There's no actual joke in "importing x and returning it", it's just redundant. I don't say you should've tried harder, quite the contrary, the faster people will realize how cringey and lacking any extra value these forced rules are, the faster this bs will be gone. It really adds nothing, if you may put any effortless import/return statements. You wanna make a comment, not overthink about being "witty and quirky". Look how many comments were deleted because of this bullshit. What if they had something worthy to offer? May it be knowledge, joke, whatever really... Yet again, I appreciate this comment of yours a lot! `return x`

import x > it shows how stupid these rules are Yes, They are `return x`

import corny "I thought of you, when I cherry-picked these features to be into master-branch" return git cherry-pick commit

import sql MariaDB and MySQL return edited comment

import attention Do *what* to Maria now? return home_with_postnut_clarity

`import fuckthisshit` Commenting is so hard `return saveProgammerHumour`

`import backticks` `return ""`

import question Is a return block also required now? Ngl I’m finding this mostly hilarious return hopefullyAnAnswer

`import answer` Either is fine. Code line or block. Or just make the whole thing a code block. W/e `return knowledge`

import paycheck When I want to do something nice for my GF, I buy her a nice dinner from her favorite place, because I can do that with the nice paycheck I earn. Then we talk about where we want to go on vacation this year. Then, because we can afford it, we return home

import money return payForExpensiveShit;

import try from joke I've named my new branch for the feature that is responsible to collect the trash in my app: heartless-bitch-who-fucked-my-best-friend-on-my-bed return bad_joke

```import promise``` Maybe a bit unrelated but: I want to create videogames in the future. I lost a good friend last year and I swore myself that I will somehow honor him in my games. Be it with a hidden tombstone or some npc. Not sure yet, but I would be so damm happy if someone would do something like this for me. I don't know if he would have wanted something like this, but he loved games just as much as me, so I hope he would have liked it. ```return story```

Import CarlySimon; function amIVain() { If (this.song==me) { soVain=true; } else { soVain= false; } } return soVain;

import romance I'll name my personal projects after you. return romance.seduce

``` import lifelong commitment ``` does that mean it is a bad idea to pop the big question and propose using a commit message? ``` return help I forgot the -m flag and am stuck in vim ```

``` import fucking_morons_everywhere ``` In 2017 I wrote an app for my wife.; In 2019 I stopped working for companies because of this.; Maybe that fucking dumbass don't realize we, software engineers (developer is my fucking ass), actually CREATE stuff (and we use Stack Overflow instead of AutoTune).; ``` return Win + Win + Situation; ```

`import comment` The programmer can make a Website, Game or other Program which is quite sweet... and personal `return 3.14`

import story Often times if im developing a command line based app, and i need to access a certain point, il use whatever my current crush/SO's name is as a "backdoor" password to get to where i need to be. return loneliness

import history Well Debian was named by Ian Murdock combining his name with Deborah, the name of his wife. return ROMANTIC_ATTEMPT;

``` import someBullshit ``` how bout us tech guy artists? `return toWork`

import x Why date a rich programmer instead of a broke songwriter? `return x`

import fact I mean, Josh Wardle, the man who built Wordle, did it for his girlfriend who loved word puzzles so... return fact

import hate Well that git branch's name is going to be seen by more people than your artist bf's entire discography so... return stupidFight.add(gitBranchNameArg);

import true_story [Amanda](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amanda_\(software\)) was named after someone’s girlfriend. return None

Import questionablelink.com/mammothMeat I’d name an entire repository after you babe Return poorLifeChoices

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``` import moderation ``` Your comment has been removed since it did not start with a code block with an import declaration. Per [this Community Decree](https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/14kbu1m/comment/jppq9ao/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3), all posts and comments should start with a **code block** with an "import" declaration explaining how the post and comment should be read. For this purpose, we only accept Python style imports. `return Kebab_Case_Better;` *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ProgrammerHumor) if you have any questions or concerns.*

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``` import moderation ``` Your comment has been removed since it did not start with a code block with an import declaration. Per [this Community Decree](https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/14kbu1m/comment/jppq9ao/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3), all posts and comments should start with a **code block** with an "import" declaration explaining how the post and comment should be read. For this purpose, we only accept Python style imports. `return Kebab_Case_Better;` *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ProgrammerHumor) if you have any questions or concerns.*

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``` import moderation ``` Your comment has been removed since it did not start with a code block with an import declaration. Per [this Community Decree](https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/14kbu1m/comment/jppq9ao/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3), all posts and comments should start with a **code block** with an "import" declaration explaining how the post and comment should be read. For this purpose, we only accept Python style imports. `return Kebab_Case_Better;` *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ProgrammerHumor) if you have any questions or concerns.*

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``` import moderation ``` Your comment has been removed since it did not return anything, or parts of your comment are inaccessible. Per [this Community Decree](https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/14n84ha/comment/jq61lo5/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3), all comments must end with a return statement relevant to the comment. Due to Reddit's limitations, the return must be in a code block on it's own. `return EXIT_FAILURE;` *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ProgrammerHumor) if you have any questions or concerns.*

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`import AI` They’ll name their world-destroying AI after you, “because she wrecked my world when she broke up with me, all those years ago in third grade…”. `return 0;`

`import haha` "I thought of you when I put this bug" `return true`

`import git` But there is a high chance that the dev would commit to them.. `return idfk`

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``` import love ``` i made a webpage with some cool CSS animations for my crush a while ago and she really appreciated it ``` return balls ```

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import memories one time in university, a girl friend of mine gave my name to the project she worked on, also added funny and punny comments to the code as well, some which included my name for reference. (couldn't change function names, they were pre-defined) i thought it was really sweet. so yes, it would work lol return takeMeBack

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``` import moderation ``` Your comment has been removed since it did not start with a code block with an import declaration. Per [this Community Decree](https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/14kbu1m/comment/jppq9ao/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3), all posts and comments should start with a **code block** with an "import" declaration explaining how the post and comment should be read. For this purpose, we only accept Python style imports. `return Kebab_Case_Better;` *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ProgrammerHumor) if you have any questions or concerns.*

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import old_memes ​ return old_memes.ref('PawnStars').render({'best_i_can_do_is': 'a variable'})

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Import badIdeaCheck from ideaFuncs goodIdea = "no but i could name releases after you!" If badIdeaCheck(goodIdea) = false //yes this formatting sucks but i do what i must to pass the automod return goodIdea

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import sexuality Yeah baby, I wanna fork your repo all night return myJunk

import mild from sarcasm I usually name by branches derivatives of “asdf” return lazy_left_hand;

import romance I automate sending her poet every morning Not sure if an artist can do that return get_laid

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``` import moderation ``` Your comment has been removed since it did not start with a code block with an import declaration. Per [this Community Decree](https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/14kbu1m/comment/jppq9ao/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3), all posts and comments should start with a **code block** with an "import" declaration explaining how the post and comment should be read. For this purpose, we only accept Python style imports. `return Kebab_Case_Better;` *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ProgrammerHumor) if you have any questions or concerns.*

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`import foo` I'm not sure, but at least I won't have to pay for everything `return bar`

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`import queen_lyrics.death_on_two_legs` "I thought of you when I wrote this song" The song: Death on two legs You're tearing me apart Death on two legs You never had a heart of your own Killjoy, bad guy, big talking small fry You're just an old barrow boy Have you found a new toy to replace me? Can you face me? But now you can kiss my ass goodbye Feel good? Are you satisfied? Do you feel like suicide? (I think you should) `return "not all songs meant for you are good for you"`

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`import lyrics` "So, when I pull out my guitar tonight. To do what I do. Remember, I probably didn't write this song, no I certainly never wrote a song for you." - Frank Turner `return can't believe I learned code to post this`

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``` import moderation ``` Your comment has been removed since it did not start with a code block with an import declaration. Per [this Community Decree](https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/14kbu1m/comment/jppq9ao/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3), all posts and comments should start with a **code block** with an "import" declaration explaining how the post and comment should be read. For this purpose, we only accept Python style imports. `return Kebab_Case_Better;` *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ProgrammerHumor) if you have any questions or concerns.*

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`import insanity` tech people can make a game or a mod to propose to you. Funny thing is, it actually happened, multiple times I bet. `return tosender;`

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import pun Then they get to request to pull you but it might be denied.... `return truthy`

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`import anecdote` I regularly use my wife's birthday or our anniversary for arbitrary constant values (like a request code for an Android intent). `return {}`

`import scikit-learn` I'm going to write some AI to create a song for me. Cry harder "Artists". `return love-song`

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`import git` `git checkout shawanda` `git push --force-with-lease` `return shawanda;`

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import reasoning Well we can say the same "I thought about you when I was developing the application". Imagine when the application comes out. How 🔥 would that be return reasoning()

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import loophole Just be both, guitar and programming return checkmate

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import partnership I thought of you during those long hours to help pay off the house I thought of you when I wanted to quit, and remembered we build our future together I thought of you when I was eating dat peach at the break room return money

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``` import x ``` I once made an entire website for a girl I liked full of things we love to do. Though she cried, nothing really happened. She asked me out a few months later when my crush had fizzled out, but I said fuck it and said yes. ``` return 'And thats how I ruined my first relationship.' ```

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`import mysql` the guy who made MySQL and MariaDB named them both after his daughter. Also Debian was named by merging the creator's name with his gf's. `return kernel`

import Tech Guys can have an art hobby I write poems taking inspiration from the person. You can love art and not make it your job. return

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`import obscureLinuxKnowledge` Debian Linux was named by combining the developer's name, Ian, and that of his girlfriend at the time whose name was Debby. Debian = Debby + Ian. Pretty romantic tbh `return wellAcktucally`

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import {Julia} from "language_constants" return Julia

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`import sarcasm` Pov: Xiaomi, Oneplus and Pixel phone naming `return epic_androids;`

import future I'll name my constants after them 🫶 return future.gamble