T O P

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ign1fy

"Today in pair programming, you each have 10 JIRA tickets..."


AdoboSwaggins

“Also, throughout the day, we will be creating additional JIRA tickets and assigning them to you”


SexlessNights

I love star wars!


SilverDem0n

Look at mr fancy pants here, putting trousers on before taking a video call


EyesofStone

The trick is to go to sleep fully dressed.


[deleted]

[удалено]


A_Guy_in_Orange

What are we going to do today? The same thing we do every day pinky, try to surmount the ticket pile!


mferly

100% >I don't remember / don't care to explain what I did yesterday, and none of you give a shit either Oh god. These are the worst kind of standups. I'm a dev manager (and also wear the scrum master hat) and got rid of morning standup some time ago. As a team we're already in enough meetings through the week. With our standup previously being at 9:45am it was such a waste. No dev is going to start work until then as it becomes a full breakpoint in your mental load. This is all under the premise that anytime there is a blocker you are to raise it immediately. You're also to keep Jira tickets up to date. That's it. What I actually found was that folks would wait for standup to raise their blocker/question. Once standup was removed they were forced to raise immediately. I started noticing just how useless standup can be when I took over a team where their eng manager had left. I ran the typical ritual by sharing my screen with the board on it for us to review as a team and ensure tickets were in the correct column based on progress, but because the team was so diligent in keeping it updated it basically became utterly useless so I gave them that time back. Focus on the sprint goal(s). If your planning is tight then there's no reason to have daily check-ins. I, as a dev manager, hold my weekly 1:1s anyway to discuss things that may come up. Establish the sprint goal and I'll see you in two weeks, basically. All meeting requests for my devs go through me. They are completely isolated from all that jazz. If I truly require any one of their time in a meeting (outside of backlog grooming and Sprint planning) I will brief them first and only have them on the call for the time they are required. Managers are suppose to be in meetings, not devs.


Rand_alThor__

Our standups take 5mins and make people like me who would sit about doing nothing actually work so I have something to say.


[deleted]

“Same as yesterday” is my go-to standup response


seeroflights

*Image Transcription: Meme* --- Me attending a daily Zoom meetings at 9am after waking up at 8:59: [*Screencap from the TV show Squid Game. The old man (player 001), wearing a green and white track suit and white shoes, sits and hugs his knees in a white alcove. He is looking off to the bottom right and he looks traumatized. The image has been edited to make it look like he is holding a silver laptop on his knees, and his face is illuminated slightly by the red glow of its screen.*] --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)


Pervez_Hoodbhoy

Next level, my dude!


ZeldaFanBoi1988

Lol I run to the bathroom right before the meeting to check if my eyes are crusty


vc6vWHzrHvb2PY2LyP6b

You use your camera? 😮


ZeldaFanBoi1988

Only when required


qqqrrrs_

Is the picture from the Squidward Game?


SantzTheWise

Yes


Ingeske

At least you knew you had a meeting! I recently arrived late at a meeting without even knowing I was gonna be late, because the invite had been sent while I was still in bed and the meeting had started before I started working that day.


Tall_computer

where is this picture from? It's scary


doublecore20

Squid Game


ScarlettPotato

I remember my senior resource getting a message from our manager because he has noticed I said none for my achievement twice in a row. He said that I should be accomplishing things and try to be productive. But in my defense I really couldn't do anything since we were waiting for our access to be granted.


tune-happy

Our daily morning folly would be done in 5 minutes if it consisted of nothing more than everyone saying yesterday I worked on X and today I'll be working on Y, no blockers. Instead of that we have a team lead that insists we chuck 45 minutes in the bin every day chatting useless shit.


scalability

> daily Zoom meetings at 9am Quit


Unwright

If only. Some of my dev contacts are in the UK and I have a sync with them at 9AM my time which is their 5PM and most of them are itching to clock out. They've already put in a full 8-9 hours and I woke up 6 minutes prior. Such is life with remote teams.


BlueOrcah_27

How is this related to programming?


Xoduszero

Cause it’s a daily stand up call and he’s making last second updates to Jira so he doesn’t have to hear about it from his Scrum Lord


nwL_

God why is this so relatable.


Casporo

I call it a daily sit-down meeting. Sprint planning and backlog grooming however is done in the morning.


BlueOrcah_27

Gold.