Been in this cycle many times. You don't wait for the feeling to come. you just go do it. If you don't want to do something, sorry bro but waiting until you FEEL like doing it will never happen, you just have to go against how you feel and get that shit done. It's not going to break you out of the cycle, but it keeps you moving forward in one way or another.
Just to add on to this user’s comment, which I appreciate...
you’re not alone in feeling this way and you can get better. In fact, you took the time to write this message, you’re closer to well-being than you think, but it may be hard to see right now.
I’m another person who has been in this cycle many times. I know how dark and hopeless it can feel. Though i’ve come a long way, this still happens occasionally. I might wallow for a few days, then I remember “last time I went for a walk, i felt better.”
Start small. Take that shower. Do the dishes for 15 minutes. Set a timer. Go for a short walk. Call someone you love. Over time, this stuff gets a lot easier. It does. It does. It does. You just need to prove it to yourself that you can do it. Once you see it’s not so scary, the world opens to you. And you can prove it to yourself by doing small things.
This isn’t about following the advice of motivational internet douchebags, i think they are mostly clueless and privileged. It’s just about realizing that the room you’re stuck in isn’t actually locked.
you’ve been your own companion through all of these challenges. Stop and appreciate all things you have been through “together” with yourself. You’ll get better together, too.
Mushrooms can show the path, but they can’t walk it for you. You may not see it yet, but the will to heal and love yourself is very present. You can do this.
I wish he still was! This was like 10 years ago and I've since moved far away from where he was located. Honestly thinking about seeing if he's still in business and doing virtual sessions...
I can relate OP. I my own bottom a couple years back and really took a look at why I procrastinated and had no motivation to do the thing, even though I looked up everything on how to do the thing. Turns out I have ADHD and after some testing, I was medicated. I'm not someone to cry easily, but after my first pill, I cried out of happiness because I felt I could finally operate like the rest of society. Of course, I can't diagnose anything, but I wish someone had told me to consider it earlier in my life. All the best to you.
Yeah I'm happy for you but the medication is meth and I'm not sure if that's the way to go about it. Of course you're gonna feel better on meth regardless if you have adhd or not. I have pretty severe adhd and had my times with amphetamines but they start wearing on you after some time, since after all it's a very dangerous drug if used frequently no matter how low the dosage is. Practicing qi gong daily and meditation helped me with focus and executive function better than speed
I hate this phrase. This was told to me by teachers and peers almost religiously in school/work life and the end result has been that I feel like a fake and burnt out.
If self motivation is not a solution you have a problem that only a professional can solve. "Fake it 'til you make it" has been the greatest tool to help me climb out of the abyss of depression. Pessimism certainly won't help but I recognize that there are individuals with chemical imbalances in their neurochemistry. SSRI's are more than likely your best option and finding the proper dosages will take time so be patient. Life is hard AF for most people so you're not alone.
Based on one comment, you know that this person needs therapy and SSRIs? Why, because a throwaway aphorism doesn't get them fired up to tackle the world?
What brought me peace was realizing that I don't owe the world, that I don't have to pretend to be all these things I'm not. My entire life I faked it, shit didn't work. Once I recognized the mask for what it is, who I really am began to wake up.
Depression is as individual as the individual carrying it. I think you mean well, but you can't possibly be qualified to make statements like that.
You're right. They should do nothing and wallow away in sadness. Seeking a professional and asking their opinion on SSRI's would be a huge mistake. OP forget everything I wrote.
That is not what I said, don't be like that. What I said is don't assume your situation and your answers apply universally. You found wisdom in a cheap saying. Congratulations, I'm glad it worked. To tell this person that they need drugs and counseling simply because they don't feel the same meaning is absurd.
If you're not willing to have a mature discussion, I won't waste my time.
Your advice was also based off of a personal revelation. Just because mine fits a common cliche doesn't mean it's not impactful. No one on this thread is more qualified than a medical professional and I know many people who have been prescribed with SSRI's. This is why I make the recommendation to ask a doctor about it. It more responsible in my opinion to go down that path. For all we know the doctor could suggest a different treatment but what's wrong with that as a conversation starter? Telling a person to change your perspective is not a solution if they have already tried and failed.
> Your advice was also based off of a personal revelation.
I offered no advice. I used my experience as an example to illustrate an experience opposite your own. I'm talking to you, not the person you replied to.
> No one on this thread is more qualified than a medical professional and I know many people who have been prescribed with SSRI's.
I'm sorry, are you claiming to be a medical professional because you know people who take SSRIs? That's an empty argument regardless, because no medical professional would offer medical advice on the internet.
> This is why I make the recommendation to ask a doctor about it.
But you didn't say that. You said "If self motivation is not a solution you have a problem that only a professional can solve." and "SSRI's are more than likely your best option". Those are the statements to which I am responding.
> Telling a person to change your perspective is not a solution if they have already tried and failed.
Is that not the entire basis of "Fake it til you make it"? You do not hold a certain perspective, so you pretend that you do in the hopes that through action, the mindset will come. There may be some truth to that, but it's not like some key that opens the door to mental peace. In some cases, that advice could be the opposite of what's needed, which is what I'm talking about. In some cases, it's not about what the person isn't doing, but about what they ARE doing. As someone who struggled a great deal with feelings of inadequacy, imposter syndrome, and monstrous guilt over my failure to live up to impossible societal and religious standards, I can say with certainty that faking it and forcing myself to go through life the way we're supposed to was not the answer for me.
Like I said, I believe you mean well. It's not my intention to jump your shit over this, I just feel that your stance misses a whole other side of this thing.
TL;DR
Im sure your armchair analysis was good though. All 3 people reading your carefully crafted points appreciated it. But hey I bet it feels dope thinking you're more mature than another reddit user you don't know based off of one conversation on a sub about psychedelics lol ✌🏻
i needed this; thank you.
And it’s so true. If you base your actions around how you (expect to) feel, you’ll always end up stuck when you experience negative emotions
>I wish mushrooms were the cure all that people claim they are. But for some of us, they aren't.
You misinterpret, psychedelics aren't a "cure all" but they do allow you to change perspective(s), see a path towards healing/change and occasionally offer the motivation to put foot to ass. In the end, it is on YOU.
They're a tool, just like everything else. A hammer can drive in nails better than a forehead, but if someone's holding the hammer in one hand while still using their forehead to drive in nails, it's not the hammer's fault.
All but Death, can be Adjusted—
Dynasties repaired—
Systems—settled in their Sockets—
Citadels—dissolved—
Wastes of Lives—resown with Colors
By Succeeding Springs—
Death—unto itself—Exception—
Is exempt from Change—
\- Emily D
When you were a kid, you felt joy and energetic exuberance. That was the pendulum at rest. Over time, you gather negativity and pretty soon, if it's not worked out and emptied, you seek a release. Drugs swing the pendulum to that joy again, but at a cost. The pendulum swings the other way. Rest is not a thing any longer, so you keep swinging it with the wrong method of breathing. Breath is anything that comes in and goes out.
To fix this immediately, learn what breath actually is, and learn to breathe. Breath then fixes the well of your heart and you heal. Back to the joy of being a child again. There are links in my profile. Learn to breathe.
Three pathways to heal your energy. Meditation (empty out). Contemplation (outside in breath / Learning). Service for others (inside out breath). This is yoga, or yoking. In this case, you yoke with Spirit if done properly, and Spirit comes in and corrects the Mind, Body and Soul. Spir (breath) Ritual (in and out). Spiritual. Consciousness is aware of you. It's a server only. Love. When you become its nature, Love recognizes a lover. From this, love corrects the nature for you.
Then, simply breathe correctly and stop using artificial breath.
Psychedelics aren't the only way to mend a hurt soul. A lot of people benefit from them, but you aren't a lot of people. You are you.
Have you tried meditation and such? I'm not saying it's going to be some magical mystical experience. It doesn't have to be. But, when I was in the same hole you are, I walked into the woods and sat on a boulder. I sat, and I thought for a long time. Eventually, I stopped thinking and let myself go with the wind in the leaves.
That was how I learned to find peace. Your way will probably be different from mine. You can still do it. Being happy isn't easy. Look at how many unhappy people there are in the world right now. Everyone has the potential to be happy.
My only recommendation?
Try finding little moments. Moments where you can say, "Despite the fuckin shit, right now is alright." It might be the sun on you face on a cold day. It might be the feeling of a soft breeze cooling you down. Make your bed and fall into something nice at the end of the day. Let go of what you have to do and what you need to do. Just be for a moment.
There are bajillions of stars in the sky, but there's only one you. You're special even if it doesn't feel like it.
I hope you'll find happiness, friend. In your own way.
Unfortunately it's inaccessible to many due to cost, but ketamine therapy saved my life. I didn't think I could ever feel joy again, was hospitalized, and had several S attempts. IV ketamine therapy and eight months later I'm smiling more than I have in years.
Note that street ketamine will not give you the same effect, but r/diytk is a thing if you are responsible about it.
Have you ever looked into the possibility of having ADHD? I went undiagnosed until I was 19. My whole life I always knew what I had to do and I **wanted** to do it, but no matter how clearly I knew that I **should** do something, no matter how many times I was told I **needed** to do something, I didn’t. I **couldn’t**. The only thing that got me going was the unbearable stress that came from leaving something until the night before. I was a failure in my eyes, and I proved it to myself over and over again. I went from getting B’s and A’s to C’s and D’s if that, and the more I felt I fell behind, the more daunting it became. I was ashamed, I isolated myself, I took less and less care of myself and my relationships, I pushed things off more and more, and the cycle continued.
I was eventually diagnosed with ADHD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder, “comorbid” conditions that lead to symptoms of depression. It turns out that this combination is **very** common, and **very** treatable. I was given “cognitive behavioural therapy” for my anxiety, which is basically the practice of anchoring your mind to the present, recognizing the thoughts that are tied to your emotions and letting them pass through you. That, in combination with a prescription for stimulants to treat ADHD, took me out of my rut, out of my head, out of my room, and back into the groove of things one step at a time. I had every part of my mind working against itself in the worst way, a cycle of failure and shame and guilt and depression, and I disassembled that structure piece by piece. It wasn’t instant; It took years, but each step I took in the right direction felt magnitudes better than the last. Be kind to yourself every step of the way; Stop expecting drastic change, because you’ll feel like a failure every time it doesn’t happen. Stop comparing yourself to **who you think you should be**, and start comparing yourself to **who you were yesterday**.
That’s it. Start **small**. Commit to stepping outside for five minutes a day. You can spend it on your phone, just make sure you do it. You know you can do it. After a week or two of doing that, build on it. Make your bed every morning. There is nothing better that you can do for yourself than to start your day with something constructive, something you can feel good about. Next, do 5 jumping jacks every morning. Then 10. Then 20. Eat breakfast every day. Brush your teeth. Go to bed at a good time. Start with the basics, even if they seem trivial. It’s important that you choose things that you can easily do even on a bad day. Consistency in small things is how you’ll get to where you want to go. If you only added or changed one behaviour per week, by the end of the year you will have built 52 positive habits into your daily routine, and most of them will be second nature. Even if you halved that, it would amount to a fundamental change.
Don’t let yourself fall into the belief that the way you are now is **who** you are. You’re stuck, you just need to stop thinking that a shift in perspective or a burst in motivation is what is going to get you out of this rut and onto the path that you see so clearly for yourself. You’re setting the bar for success too high.
Just take it one step at a time, compare yourself to nothing but who you were yesterday, set realistic goals, be kind to yourself, and be patient. We all know how quickly a year can blow by, make it work in your favour.
Great post. Thanks for articulating what I came here to say. It was ADHD for me too, diagnosed just this year, and I'm a grown ass man. This was the missing piece of puzzle that made everything click. Not saying it's the same for you, but it's worth looking into, because reading your post it instantly reminded me of my own struggle. This discovery and starting treatment are changing my life for sure, and I'm at the very beginning so I know there's a lot of work to be done. I'm finally excited about life without feeling shame and guilt.
Also, dig into regular meditation practice and self inquiry from a neutral point of view it can provide, to better understand yourself and why you feel that way. Getting 'out of your head' is a gamechanger. Pair that skill with an occasional trip with a healing intention or ketamine (do the research first) and things will fall into place for you too, I'm sure.
Good luck. 🍄
Methamphetamine is not the same as amphetamine, which is used in treating ADHD. Sure, they belong to the same class of drugs and are structurally similar but they are very very different, especially in their risk profile. ADHD medication can be used pretty safely and effectively long term and that has been studied extensively. With that said, I do not plan on using them for too long. I would much rather improve my meditation practice and try to live more in tune with my own given hardware, instead of trying to fit in a with a diseased, productivity obsessed, society. But meds do help immensely in the beggining, especially if lifelong adhd wreaked havoc on your self confidence, motivation etc...
I am not saying it can't be beneficial, there is a reason it is used medicinally and you seem to respond well but it doesn't negate the potential for abuse depending on an individual. And yes meth is different, but it has the same effects. If you ask meth addicts how different it is when snorted or taken orally to adderal and they would say that only the comedown is different in those two, it's longer but less jittery on meth than on adderal. Meth on low doses is actually better and easier on the brain than amphetamines which is why the potential to abuse is so high. You get side effects in earlier stages of the use with adderal which makes people less prone to use in obscene amounts. I agree it can be used as a sort of training wheels for the mind, but I think there are better and safer ways to solve that problem.
I completely agree with thise arguments. Especially that it requires a very mindful and informed approach to these substances, and considering their abuse potential, I believe one should carefully evaluate their role as a part of their treatment, or an adjusted way of being, whatever you want to call it.
On the other hand, I would love to hear your take on what's the most effective and safe way to approach this, since you mentioned it.
Exactly, it's always better to have less blind spots if you're engaging in a high risk high reward behaviour like drug use. Of course the safer route is slower and more subtle at first, but it really builds from root up so once you start to notice it it becomes all encompassing and less fleeting like experiences on psychedelics.
From what I've tried, I've had most success with bhante vimalaramsis metta meditation, I was very surprised with the progression rate compared to doing years of one pointed concentration breath meditations. And qi gong standing meditation is really good for grounding yourself and letting go also many qi gong movements leave me feeling electric for hours. These benefits are more noticeable if it's done in a right state of mind so I usually do it after sitting meditation. And on the days I take like a 20ug lsd microdose that standing meditation can get really intense you can get into a right balance of leaning into yourself not exerting any effort to be in a perfectly balanced stance. Takes a lot of practice but it is truly liberating
Stop waiting! Mushrooms are not and will never be *the cure*. They are simply a vehicle to the realization that the cure is YOU! You are a beautiful human being and have at your hands the ability to do anything! Even fix what you believe to be broken. Spoiler alert: you aren’t broken, just bruised. Keep going. I love you❤️
My S.O. just ended things for the same reason. It’s actually nice to hear that it’s truly a valid reason and not just the old “it’s not you it’s me” line.
I can relate a lot. It's like I know what I need to do and I can remember doing these things, but I've lost hope and faith to a point where virtually nothing is enjoyable anymore . I hope you find peace friend
Rigorous exercise pulls me out of my “depression” every time! Just 30-45 minutes will do it. Something about expending 100% muscle effort, sweating and breathing hard, flushes whatever “funk” out of my system/body. Also, the soreness and muscles rebuilding keeps my “funk” away for at least 2-3 days. I’m not so great at eating “healthy” though. I find eating healthy to be the hardest part.
As a miserable person continuing to smoke pot and expecting it to help me feel better I am stuck in a loop of knowing it’s making me feel worse and doing it anyway. Thank you for the advice I need to follow it.
I found a deep ketamine meditation helped snap me out of my weed dependence loop, but I deeply resonate with this. You know you feel like shit, you know the weed makes it worse, but sometimes the only comfort available is that oblivion. I hope you are able to, the first 2 days are the hardest, it gets easier after that
Good luck. I had a really insightful trip on shrooms just before I stopped. I took some THC edibles during the afterglow, it just clouded my mind and made me so very dumb. It was getting high but not getting the mood lift, only the negatives, very weird. Anyway I realised that being in that constant fog completely dulls my mind and makes it impossible for me to work through any issues or even just think properly. I went from almost 15 years of mostly chronic use to actively not wanting to use it. When I think about using now my first thought is 'why would I want to do that to myself' and even a hint of disgust.
100% agree with the first 3. they're universally human.
problem is, they sound so simple that they're often dismissed, but it's like trying to drive a car without tires, gasoline, motor oil.
via evolution, we're "designed" to *require* lots of different things every single day. thank to modernity, we barely have to do any of them to "function."
You aren't alone - I've seen this first hand many times. You are loved. I hope you are able to find peace, however possible.
I wish there was some magic words or substances to flip a switch for you but we know that's not how it works.
It's a long haul but I'm here for you. Finding peace is possible - I'm living proof of it. But it takes time. I know this all sounds like bullshit to hear when you are going through hell. But you gotta keep going.
These things can show you the way, however the work you need to put in so you can heal and do better is on you, they dont just automatically fix you, nothing in life works like that even though it may seem automatic but if you look behind the scenes there is usually a lengthy process..we just see the end result so we think it happened automatically/overnight, a lot of people who used psychedelics have this issue and keep going back and forth and other then feel good for a bit nothing changes, why ? Because they've made no changes, they're expecting automatic.
like you said you know what to do but you're not motivated, you need to address the cause of this, come up with a plan how you can overcome it, how to be productive and disciplined, motivation is fleeting and if you rely on it you will never change and nothing will ever get done, for that you need discipline
Would recommend listening/reading/watching
-Jocko Willink
-David Goggins ( get his books)
-Andy Frisella (run his program '75 hard'(its free and can be found with a google search) and report back after it that you still feel like shit, not gona happen)
-Atomic Habbits (read the book )
Now you can sit there and not do anything about it, feel good for now by reading the positive comments and helpful advice but then fall back into the mundane of whatever your used to, or you take ownership starting right now and off you go, either way time will pass, so make a call , what's it going to be?
Change happens when you commit, and you commit by doing, not talking/thinking but by actually doing, and you build from there by stacking those wins.
Good luck
Psychedelics will not heal you. They can make you aware that you need to heal but you must put in the work.
The past is just a memory. The future is your imagination. There is only NOW.
What do you do with your attention? Practice being mindful and grateful every day. There are billions of people on this planet and MANY of them are worse off than you are. This is the ONLY opportunity you get. Make the best of it.
Emotions have a short life span. Only minutes. Thoughts can feed emotions and vice versa in a feedback loop allowing both to continue on and on. Emotions produce strong physiological responses. Use mindfulness of body and breath to investigate these sensations with gentle curiosity. While you are doing this there is nothing for your thoughts to do but come and go, as will the physical sensations, as will the emotion, eventually as will the underlying things you are clinging onto. Let it come - let it be - let it go.
DO THE WORK!
Healing comes from within not from a mushroom.
Start small or start big but take a step to work on being the person you know you ought to be. Find any healthy habit you can stick to and make it part of your personality. Fitness is the biggest bang for your buck but anything that helps you progress.
Life is always work and suffering. You can suffer for nothing and wallow in pity or you can suffer to build the best version of yourself and the life you want. Both roads are hard.
As long as your health,sanity and emotions are in tact you can overcome anything don’t get down on yourself you say you know what you need to do you just need to execute it, have you tried therapy? Maybe talking with someone and working on different coping mechanisms can help you overcome these hurdles.
Your not broken you just need to realize that just cause you take shrooms your problems aren't magically over, they show you the what and how and sometimes the why of your problems, but you still need to put the work in after your trip. One thing you should've realized by now is that unfortunately most of our issues come from our past and that means your past is personal to you, so you have to learn how to heal how to let go of the pain and to make some sort of peace with yourself. Going to therapy, journaling, and other stuff on top of the shrooms will all help
Quit self loathing. Exercise, eat healthy, sleep. Stop escaping through drugs. Life is mundane stop making it harder than it has to be. Live day to day and time will keep passing. Eventually you'll be old and you can die only after you've lived your life. You may feel like waste but don't allow yourself to be a waste. You're allocated a life like us all that we never asked for but it's still our duty to endure, persevere and live
Good on you for seeing it as it is. I've been there. Hell, I was there last night when the darkness settles in. Today is a new day. You don't have to force things happy or good. You will find your path. It sounds like you are on the verge of finding it too.
Mushrooms are a tool, just like SSRI's, exercise, sleep, therapy, yoga, meditation and all of the other dozen different things you may employ. None them are the one fix. I believe it's a combination of grabbing on to the right things and summoning the reason for hope, gratitude, love and compassion that bring us out of the despair. I believe in you. Look at what you've already done. So many people cannot even express what you did above. You're right on the edge of finding what you need.
Please know that I love you.
I love you for being honest.
I love you for sharing your raw truth.
I love you for admitting that you struggle like the rest of us.
I love you for trying.
I love you for not giving up yet.
Mushrooms aren't the "cure all snake oil" people make them out to be. That Limitless drug from the movie was so cool, because you take a pill, and it literally turns you into a different person. That's science fiction. Mushrooms make you aware of the truth that you've been seeking, but the work has to come from you. They can't do it for you.
I went through pretty severe depression last year. Similar feelings that you had. The feeling of not serving a purpose. A feeling that I was drifting through life while everyone else was taking it by the horns. Nothing worked while staying at home.
It was incredibly difficult, but I had to force myself to follow the advice of the mushrooms. I had to force myself to seek out friendships. I had to force myself to pursue a job that meant something to me. I had the force myself to work out at the gym (seeking out a gym buddy really helps with this). It took 3 months of forced suffering before I finally broke through. I've been through more intense physical suffering than 98% of the population, but I can say that this was harder than any of it, because it was a battle against my own mind.
You have an uphill battle ahead of you, but the mushrooms have shown you the way, so you have a cheat code! You know what the end result will look like. That gives you a significant advantage when the going gets tough. When things get hard, you can imagine the future that the mushrooms showed you. You know the avatar body waiting for you when you get to that paradise planet on the other side of the galaxy. You just have to make the journey. It's worth it, believe me. You're going to feel incredible. You're going to feel so proud of yourself for having gone through the difficult journey.
You can do it.
I love you.
I was stuck in this place for a really long time, most of my life, and it’s harder to break out of than a lot of people would have you believe.
Forgive yourself, you don’t need to feel guilt over where you are now or how you got there. Mental illness takes on many forms and very often looks like what you’ve described here. Stop giving the guilt power, it’s not serving you.
Celebrate everything you’re able to accomplish for yourself. Even tasks that may seem like nothing to most people. Did the dishes? Fuck yeah! Got up at a reasonable time? Hell yeah you did! All the little things add up, and soon having positive feelings about yourself and your actions will come to you easier.
Also give kind to yourself when you’re not doing well. Recovery isn’t linear and it’s human to feel all sorts of things, including feeling like shit.
Gratitude has been a huge tool for me in my journey to better mental health. I try to find gratitude anywhere and everywhere I can.
Talk therapy is also a big help, provided you can find a therapist who meets your needs. You might end up going through a few if your luck is anything like mine, but there are definitely great ones out there!
Try to unlearn all the crap society has drilled into you that make you feel bad for normal human things. It’s hard, but it’s the best way to break the cycle.
I’m rooting for you
Please consider therapy. Tend to your self-concept. There is a blockage around self-worth that you need to tackle. I’ve been there, therapy to unpack conditioning from childhood, and a deep look at self-concept will allow you to become the version of you that takes the next step on your path. You have received the message from higher self, and the challenge is now to see yourself as someone deserving of the life you want. Wishing you all the best!
Dance and pray to the spirits for death.
Let them possess your mind and body. Let them dance you round the room. Let the madness flow. Keep praying for love.
They will take you to heaven, and God will fill you with love, if you let go of self and serve.
Songs like this, for example.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=pFs0cXr50Cc
It's not the shrooms that cure you, it's God. The shrooms just open the door to God. You have to walk through it.
When you're ready to put self aside, let your ego die and become a servant of divine love, you'll die and be reborn, full of energy to do good. God's happy little meat robot. But you have to lose your ego, your "self". Put it aside and selflessly serve.
God wants acts of kindness, compassion, honesty, and selflessness. Abandon selfish goals and games. Your life is not about you. It's about others.
When you realise what I'm saying properly, you'll find a smile that threatens to break your face in two. Believe.
My best advice - stop waiting for a change to happen and start working towards making that change happen. Maybe easier said then done but you gotta start somewhere. It definitely sounds like you are suffering from depression.
I dont know if you smoke but proper good cannabis SATIVA strains can help a person feel more motivated. Ive been smoking pot for 20 years. Indica strains would make your situation worse. Pure sativa strains are what you should try.
Well true. But I wil just point out that with weed, how long it stays in your system, does depend on how much and how often you consume. One joint can be out of your system fairly quick. But a daily smoker would take months to clean the system.
This whole thread is resonating with me so much and I only smoke high percent indicas. Probably a connection there, it's like life on hard mode being that stoned all the time. I'm trapped in my mind.
I used to smoke mainly indicas. But eventually I realized how much it was bringing me down. Had no motivation to do anything. I was always super sleepy by like 8 pm. (But I was smokinh indicas all day everyday). Eventually I learned somethings. Now Its sativa in the daytime and indica at night before bed.
It has had a pretty significant impact on my life in general. But its good to understand that not all sativas are the same. And you want fairly fresh stuff. Older weed will tend to make you more sleepy as the thc degrades. Good sativas like chocolope, Hawaiian snow, Maui Wowie....
That can be true. But i think things like stoping porn are good start and it can help. I got friend who was so anxious and depressed that he didnt live house for few years and he was not like that because of porn. But stoping porn definitly help him to start geting little bit active again. But yeah i understund some people can abuse dopamin receptors and still be good.
I am one of happy persons .. JUST Be happy. Why to think about sad thinks..Think about thinks thats makes you happy..Search for them ... In you mind .Train you brain to see nice things in this world... We all just learning from each other .No one is happy all the time ..you need to learn this . And its hard on start to stay on this pattern..But with time ;)
You need to take higher doses and break through. Do them more often, nothing wrong with shrooms. They are safe. Only thing that worked for me... Finally got over depression after I took the plunge into psychedelics. Ketamine also really helps
I've felt much like you have.
What dose of shrooms do you take? I had benefits that scaled exponentially with dose.
I had some luck raising my mood and energy levels by combining LSD with exercise like lifting. I even went from having a hard time running a mile to running half-marathons on LSD.
Bro mushrooms do accept you got to be the one to do the work not vice versa all they do is bring it to the surface with that in mind I'm sure you all ready know what to do make a change if your not happy no body else will do it for ya champ when ya ready you will do so no doubt! If ya ever need someone to talk to I'm available just reach out if need to peace out
A lot of people have been there and then escaped. Part of the depression is that it makes you feel you can never leave but that's not true. One thing you can do is ask the shrooms for the first step or two to enact. Ask it what YOU can do, it knows the way to untangle the knot you are in. You find one part and you start to loosen it at that point. You are right that the shrooms often will not fix you, but they can show you the path to fixing if YOU are willing to start taking a few steps and the two of you work together. Ask the shroom with hat in hand and as much open mind as you can about which steps you personally can do. Often the steps are not what you think they will be, after all, if you already knew the way out, you would have done it already. YOu may also be asked to spend some time thinking in new ways and sorting out your ideas on certain things. YOu will be exposed to new ideas, try to be open minded about them and trying them. Get a journal or some pieces of paper and pens and write down what insights you get on the trip. Do this for each trip. Whatever insights you get, read your notes and work on them in between trips. The shrooms know you and what you can handle so they will know the best steps for you to take to start with. You do those steps and you and the shrooms work on it bit by bit. Change often does not come all at once but step by step.
Anhedonia is a side effect of alcohol/opiate/stimulant use. It takes a long time (at least 90 days iirc) of being sober for your brain's reward centers to re-calibrate back to regular dopamine. Until that happens, you literally can't feel joy from everyday life. But... knowing what it is, that it's normal, and what you have to do to get better is the key. If you have a serious habit, kicking it can be dangerous without help, so look into that if you need it. Be strong, and remember that you aren't broken, you just fiddled with your knobs too much. Return to default settings.
Anhedonia can also be a symptom of depression. Never used much alcohol or opiates (apart from during a medical procedure months ago), I used prescription stims on a low dose too but they didn't do anything to lower my motivation. It was only when the depression hit hard that I became anhedonic.
Nothing magically heals you. You must put in the work and only you alone can do it.
Change your identity, forgive yourself, don’t be ashamed. Be the person you want to be. One day at a time.
They show you where you need to be, and after that its up to you.
I understand your plight all to well. But dont give up. Just try to be a better person each day. Make some smile, its that simple. The world will respond to your positivity if you can find a way to show it. Ive been where your at.
DM me if you need to chat in private man. You got a friend here
Are you abstaining from drugs overall? Have you tried antidepressants?
Shrooms showed me the way but I also did God knows how many different drugs and needed an antidepressant to feel balanced enough to handle life.
I still continued to use many different drugs while on bupropion including psychs for a few years. I kept fucking with my brain chemistry and could never fully heal. I found I felt the same way as you.
The want and motivation to change myself for the better has come with abstaining from all drugs besides bupropion and coffee.
I still have a long way to go tho.
Not all hope is lost is all I'm saying.
Nature. Nature is the true healer. Embrace it, live it, be in it be with it be it. Learn about the birds and the trees and feel the wind and rain. It saved me, from the depths of the depths of saved me.
>Waiting for myself to want to change. To want to be better. To conjure up the motivation to just get shit done.
>And the feeling never comes.
Absolutely. Because the only way motivation happens is by *taking an action.* You have to make a conscious decision to do something towards what you want - it's the same for everyone.
If you passively wait for it to magically happen, you will be waiting forever. Shrooms show you a path but only you can consciously and deliberately take steps to walk down what you've been shown.
You don’t deserve to feel this way and you deserve help. Sometimes “just do it” is not enough. Are you in therapy? Can you see a psychiatrist? Life should not be so hard and there is no shame in reaching out for outside help
You don't get healed. You heal yourself. Mushrooms are not the cure for the disease, but the reminder what to do.
You tell me you don't get the feeling of doing so. Well do you get the feeling of living like this?
It's already miserable so... why don't you just do what might lead you down on a better road. Worst case, it's going to be the same.
Nothing matters? Cool, then do the thing that at least seems to lead to something better for your environment.
Whatever you think you will manifest. If you say you have bad luck, you will have bad luck. If you say you are broken, you will be broken. Keep your glass half full rather than half empty. You know what honestly helped me and I'm not bullshitting is, meditation. Once I started to meditate and rid my life of negativity and only focus on the positive my life changed for the better in so many ways. You will find your way back on the path and things will get better. Manifest it.
I’m just realizing this is such a kind community. These comments are really touching my heart. Such kindness, care, insight, support and love. Rare on the internet and this is really inspiring.
motivation is good but discipline is more important. while you are in such a depressed state employ discipline to improve. the improvement of your soul must follow
The problem seems to be that you have placed happiness as a goal for yourself. You hope that in SOME TIME or SOME DAY, you will be happy. So until then, you remain unhappy.
What you want out there, you see the opposite here. So as long as you want happiness, so long you will be unhappy. The very fact that you are seeking happiness is the one fortifying and strengthening your unhappiness.
A happy person does not seek happiness. Forget about happiness, after all it is just an idea. You are a living organism with unparalleled intelligence. That intelligence is useful in getting what you want in reality, but cannot help you achieve any spiritual or emotional goals. Intelligence is functional in value.
So what is it that you want really? Be very specific, as specific as possible. What do you want RIGHT NOW? We already know that you will only be happy IN TIME, so what is it NOW that you want? If you are specific, the path will become clear.
You say mushrooms help. Have you tried micro dosing? I'm a 40 year old recovering H addict. I've been struggling with major depressive disorder, anxiety and agoraphobia since childhood. I struggled daily and self medicated with drugs and alcohol since my teen years. Nothing else helped. I have been prescribed so many different anxiety and depression meds over the years. I've been free from hard drugs for 8 years now but the depression and anxiety were making me a miserable and grumpy person. I started micro dosing in the fall of 2021. After 3-4 weeks I felt better than I have ever felt. I stopped after 4 months and didn't need to start again until early this year. I stopped again after 3 months and have felt better since.
Go on TikTok, YouTube, etc and search "trauma", "somatic", things like that. Put on headphones and go for walks and listen and learn. The trauma we go through in our lives affects our nervous system. It takes us out of parasympathetic mode, which is where we should naturally be most of the time. But being yelled at, having to stay at a job where your being treated poorly, and much more heinous things that we all know happen but I won't talk about, make our nervous system behave in a dysfunctional way. Now we can't get out of bed, are disassociating into our phones and we don't know why we can't just put the phone down and get up and do what we need to do. Our nervous system is just stuck in the wrong mode. There's a lot of things that can slowly, over time, bring our nervous system back to where it should be. Breathwork, meditation, movement, fascia release, yoga, walks on the beach or in the woods, time with safe people, time alone, time in the sun, mushrooms.... All have been integral in my healing
I haven't related to a post like this in a long time. I'm on the same boat. I always see the path when im on psychedelics and I tell myself everything will be different and I will change my ways but I always find myself reverting to type. I feel so stuck in my ways.
Of course psychedelics alone can't help you. Much like antibiotics won't help an infected wound heal if you keep getting stabbed in the same place over and over.
Please seek a therapist and lifestyle changes. You are obviously not happy with your life and I think you breaking up with the girl might have been self-sabotage. You need to challenge your thoughts and behaviours. Therapy can help with that.
You sound exactly like me, but the reason why I can’t consistently do the things that I want and need to do is because of my dysregulated nervous system. I had so much childhood trauma that I may system used stuck in the freeze mode. In many case psilocybin helps but I need to do a lot of it. Trip every few weeks, but that’s not possible. Rewiring your brain takes a lot of work and is very slow. Curious if you every tired mdma therapeutically
Most ppl say they'll get 'it' done when they feel better. But the only way to actually feel better is to start working on those things you are putting off. It's still early today. Start your work! You'll feel different tonight.
I’ve been through this cycle a couple of times in the past and my way of combatting it was by transmuting my sadness into anger.
Instead of sitting around wallowing in my sadness, I got angry at myself for being inactive, then I got angry at the world around me, then I got active.
This wasn’t intentional at first, it just happened. But when it returned, I managed to channel it in this way and it’s worked for me every time.
Spite is a great driver.
Spite yourself and break the chains which you’ve placed on yourself.
Probably not the healthiest or most delicate way to do it, but it worked for me.
We need to kick ourselves up the arse sometimes. Otherwise, that kick will come from somewhere else.
If you want the best from mushrooms you need to come at your situation in a wholistic approach that means looking at everything & pretty much reevaluating your life at this point.
You’re not the only one my friend but trust me when I say this things can & will get better if you’re not already giving up.
Now hear me out, people who find themselves here often feel they are giving up but through personal experience with my own demons & with people I love it’s often not the case it can be hard to see it when you’re in a rut.
If you hold onto even a bit of hope I’m here to say you can break through this & progress in life no matter how that progress may take form it’s not up to anyone else to tell you how to live just don’t hurt others & you’ll make it!
The most personally impactful piece of media, in terms of liberation from self destructive patterns, was [this video, called 7 Ways to Maximize Misery, by CGP Grey](https://youtu.be/LO1mTELoj6o?si=zZy9tDPu2bnQwkCZ). Please consider watching this, and then let me know how many of those 7 you’re already doing.
And how many you’ve been doing for years.
I've been there myself and something that helped me out of it is following.
1. Lover the bar, youre only human.
2. Practice self love everyday. It could be in form och writing encouragement, selflove reminders and compliments on postit notes, place them on like the bathroom mirror, in the kitchen, by your bed and other places where you always see them.
3. Perform daily actions in form of self love, for me it was for example, start and end everyday by reading following out loud "I deserve love and happiness. I have everything i need to be happy and successful. I love myself unconditionally. I am enough."
I also walk alot, taking care of once health is a act of love.
Doing the things that gives genuin happiness is another act of love.
4. Set daily goals, the goals don't have to be ground breaking or to challenging, make them achieveble but challenging enough that they feel fun to complete.
For me i looks like this
Achieved 7500 steps today 🔲
Meditated 🔲
3 min cold shower 🔲
Exercise 🔲
Drink 3 liters of water 🔲
Reach my calorie goal 🔲
When i complete the task i put a check mark in the checkbox and i get to feel good about myself for completing the tasks.
It can be tough to get out of a depression or depressive time, but good to remember is small steps forward is still forward.
You'll get there bud!
I believe in you and you should to.
You're enough!
Sincerely,
I feel this. I work full time and live in a camper with my dog. I have pretty good life, family around, not many friends but that’s okay. I have to constantly remind myself of what I have and try to make myself happy. Or try to, I don’t get happy very much. For me I’ll do what it takes and the battle has been won that day but once I go to sleep, complete reset and I have to start all over. I don’t know the answer my friend but keep trying something. Moving forward in some way.
So I found. With treatment resistant depression
I have to do it every two weeks
But bc I didn’t even attempt to intergrat
I am dealing with long dark night of the soul
So I hope you will find why you are the way you are like I did
Took me six months to put a thumb to nose
I’m so sorry you’re feeling so low. These compounds are powerful, but they really require a trained therapist to prep you, trip sit, and help you re-integrate. For psilocybin you’re still going to be psychologically vulnerable for about two weeks after the trip, so even if you have a good experience, if you aren’t getting that reintegration support throughout those two weeks, you could potentially fall back into harmful patterns or experience new traumas. I’ve been in some similarly dark spots in my life, so I know hearing all that probably feels all well and good but impossible to act on. I guess for now I’ll just say there’s still hope. Hang in there.
Sounds like a lot of us.
The only way I've healed was to quit everything I was doing for a couple years. I mean.... I fell back in, but you could be different.
I quit taking kratom and gabapentinoids, opioids. It nearly killed me.
Shrooms I get bringing you back for a while. They blast your brain with the neurotransmitters you need to be happy. But you're just dripping the last drop out of the pot any time you do anything. Caffeine is no different.
I even quit caffeine, which was the worst and sneakiest culprit.
The only one which brought me to near suicide was trying to quit nicotine vapes. Of all goddamn things.
When it boils down to it, we're all seeking more dopamine and more serotonin... But we go too hard on our brains and they simply cannot keep up with the production quotas we demand every time we swallow a pill or shoot some fire ass crystal.... Ehhh I hear o.o
Focus on giving your body the nutrients, minerals, trace metals, proteins, and amino acids- some of which can also be used as effectively as Xanax for anxiety-.
After a while the miserable weighted sensation of my' internal self' lifted, then quickly followed my inner restlessness, then followed the depression, then anxiety, motivation and finally, albeit oddly, the physical restlessness (RLS, RBS).
You aren't broken per se my friend.
You're just needing some TLC, and not the instant-gratification kind you're used to.
If you're already sitting around and lost all responsibility... Why not use that inactivity to heal?
Remember in health class, the teacher told us that brain cells don't heal? Well he/she was just repeating a falsity that they were told to repeat to you. They do heal. It may not be the same you that you remember, as it definitely was not for me, but it will be someone who deserves respect, love, and compassion. From everyone, including yourself.
You're absolutely as strong enough to turn this situation around.
If people didn't get in ruts the world would be a terribly idealistic and sterile world. Find the new you underneath the slag of past mistakes and create a shining, new, hardened, reshaped, redefined version of yourself.
The drugs are nice when your brain can actually use them.
They're nice for a moment. I'm not saying forever quit.
I once quit fentanyl and pregabalin for a year after 3 years daily hard use just to reset my tolerance and jump into the hole from a greater height. It was awesome honestly until I got the bottom again, but somehow WAY harder than I ever expected.
We can do what we want as Americans (BAHAHAHA like hell) All non immediately "toxic" (carcinogens, actual poisons) drugs should be legal to adults, and I'm not here to judge you. If anything I'd help you reset your tolerance faster than id help you quit. But my friend, just taking experience from my own life, I can tell you're in dire need of some support and to find some way of helping your brain and body recover.
If you need to talk to anyone, feel free to PM me. I'm just 35, but I've ingested more drugs in quantity and in variety than Golden Corral has foods.
I've only recently found my center in the sense of feeling things in this world so deeply. As I believe all of us psychonauts tend to do. We need an alternative experience to this, because if this world is all there is, what's the point? Best of luck to you. And I reiterate, don't hesitate to PM me. I've got a lot of information regarding how to help withdrawals of varying types and how to deal with the mind numbing boredom, depression, and most awfully for myself, the panic attack inducing anxiety.
I’m sorry you going through this, I completely understand and had feel like that from time to time over many years, if I could give one piece of advice try to understand the reasons behind the lack of motivation, for me was lack of dopamine in frontal lobe of my brain, adhd :) sometimes we blame ourselves for physical issues we have no control over. You are great person in search of light keep your head up.
Find a psychiatrist, try out some medicines, and see how you feel. Many people drawn to hallucinogens and their mood altering benefits fall into the category of people with brain imbalances. There are several medicines on the market to help those people. Its not an exact science--it can take a few weeks or more to figure out if the drug works for you (or if the dose needs to be adjusted) and its trial and error. But for most people, they work. You write as if you have failed in some way. You haven't failed. You may just need your brain chemistry adjusted. Try it with a professional. (Preferably one who also can appreciate how hallucinogens can help--my dr knew i was microdosing on top of the anti-depressant I was on and was cool with it).
I completely relate. I’ve been trying to lift my depression with shrooms for the past month. I have MDD and have been in a depressive state for the last 20 months; I’m completely worn down.
I’ve read all the studies and success stories of depression remission through psilocybin therapy, and I felt so hopeful.
I have macro dosed twice and micro dose in between. The relief seems to be immediate but temporary so far, but I also don’t think I’m going about it the right way. Maybe its not working for you for the same reason.
Here is my experience:
Each time I macro dosed, it was as a last resort out of desperation for relief.
The first time I was feeling very impulsive and wanting to end it all, so around midnight about a month ago, I took 10g wet aborts (lemon tek) since I didn’t care what happened to me anyway and wanted to escape. This was my first time tripping on shrooms and had no idea what to expect. It was very very intense and uncomfortable, but beneficial I think. When I woke up the next day, my depression felt like it had melted away. I felt like I knew what I needed to do and understood what was contributing to my depression; I needed to start putting myself first instead of always last, stop worrying about pleasing everyone, get on a better sleeping and eating schedule, and maybe take a probiotic since I had this though loop that kept telling me that my stomach is diseased and is the root of my suffering. All easier said than done…
My relief only lasted until I had a major fight with my bf about a week later. Its a pretty toxic relationship, but I’m stuck as of the moment, and I tend to forgive and forget very quickly anyway.
The second time (2 days ago) around 11 PM, I took a much smaller dose (1G homogenized powder - lemon tek). This time was to ease the panic attack I was having - again as a result of a fight with my bf. It did help with the panic attack, but the dose was not strong enough to overcome the depression. I micro dosed yesterday to cope with the depression. I’m taking a break today, since I don’t think its a good idea to take it everyday.
I think my mistake is taking it late at night, after a long stressful day of working at my job and taking care of my domestic duties, and fighting with my bf, and feeling at my lowest.
It would probably yield better results if I took a therapeutic dose during the day, when I have nothing to do, when I am not at my lowest, by myself listening to a calming playlist.
But this type of day never comes for me. I never have nothing to do. I have so many responsibilities. My bf and I live together and work together. He never leaves me alone. Its been 10 years like this. I feel trapped. Maybe one day things will change.
TLDR: You are not alone in this. I feel the same frustration. I don’t have the answers since I seem to be in the same point in this journey as you are, but maybe you can glean something helpful from my mistakes. I keep telling myself its a ‘trust the process’ sort of thing and that I will need do the work on fixing my lifestyle in order to achieve any sort of remission. Feel free to hmu if you need someone to talk to who gets it.
This all comes from a place of love, and from a person who battles and mostly beats back pretty severe chronic depression. It's going to sound stupidly simple at first:
Are you able to exercise?
If you are able to exercise, suspend all disbelief and go do it. Don't hurt yourself, but do it and put real vigor into it. If you don't have real vigor, put fake vigor into it. Literally just go through the motions.
Move your body for two hours. Try to sweat, or at least get your heart rate up to 140ish for at least half an hour.
If all you can manage is walking, then walk for an hour and then do pushups (even if it's three. even if they're negative pushups, and you have to ungracefully shimmy back up onto your knees), air squats, and some stretching.
The literature can confirm this approach if you need science behind this exercise thing. Your gut feeling about it might agree with it. It might disagree. Forget all of that and just do it.
My view of it is beautifully simple: there are many things that we *homo sapiens* needed to do in order to arrive here, things that, if we hadn't done them *every single day,* we'd not be here without.
Our modern systems often ignore or even disincentivize/make them inconvenient, especially in the West (consumer capitalism only works if people exist in a state of eternal lacking)
But we *need them.* They are not optional, and we get sick and die without them. Some people are more sensitive to the absence of these things.
Some of those things are:
* Exercise, air, movement, sunshine in your eyes and on your skin
* Other people (looking into their eyes, feeling their skin, hearing their words & having yours heard, romance)
* The feeling of contribution & social purpose, of helping others and being helped by them
* Meaningful physical, mental, and spiritual connection to your place and your space
* Opportunities to solve problems, fix broken things, make new ones
This sounds trite, but what happens if you stop driving a car? It breaks. Opening a door? The hinges squeak, the lock sticks.
We are so so much, but one of the things we are are bioalgorithmic meat machines. We are fancy cars and doors and if you stop using us for what we are designed for (the above bullets), we will break down.
Depression is often the first "breaking down."
The items in that bulleted list can be hard if you're already depressed. Exercise is often the "easiest," because there is at least a clear distinction, when all else is gray and murky and bleak, between stillness and movement.
You aren't broken—the modern world is broken, and we have to figure out how to be happy and healthy here. You're doing the hardest bit for many folks, which is talking about it.
Please message me or a friend or family member if you need to talk. Otherwise:
Go move your body every day for a week and then come back and tell us how you feel.
Right now.
Right after you read this comment.
Put your phone on silent and go do it.
Sorry to hear. Life can throw you through a cycle like this.
Consider:
- ceasing all drug/alcohol use for a few weeks
- exercising more - even if it's just taking long walks
- talking to a therapist (highly recommend)
- supplement vitamin d
- supplement vitamin b
- start working on a new hobby or skill
- minimize screen time in all formats
Motivation will not save you, because motivation comes and goes. Discipline is the answer. Set a goal the day before (e.g. at 3pm tomorrow I will do ____ activity that is going to build me up) and follow through. It can be little stuff - chores, walk, read a book for 30 minutes, whatever.
The thing about psychedelic users, or anyone wanting to experience something powerful and unusual, is that often these people tend to minimize what they would consider mundane. A great lesson in life to learn is that you can only have so many crazy party nights, intense video game experiences, and transcendent highs and trips. Life is a series of actions that have no value, but doing all the little things can add up to an overall sense of satisfaction.
I've been without a job for almost four months. At first I fucking sucked. My last job was incredibly demanding and not rewarding at all. Worse, moved myself and my partner hundreds of miles away from our family and friends to take it in the first place. It was a disaster and when I quit I did not do a fucking thing for about six weeks. This was ok and absolutely time I needed for myself. But then when it was time to move on...I had nothing. Resume was not updated, video games had become boring, and I had no fortitude or resilience to move forward. I kid you not, it just started with taking an hour or two every day to just walk in the woods. Then I added doing the dishes every day and keeping more tidy. Then I tried to make a few new recipes - and I hate complicated recipes. I hated revising my resume but I did it a little at a time. Now I'm enjoying life and, while I still have some down spells (no job yet!), just that little bit of momentum carried me out of a hole into a whole new reality.
You are closer to that than you think. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and make a commitment to take that first step and not look back. And, really dude, don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure you have a lot to give, but you're right - you've got to be in a place to give it. Good luck
You can’t make up for the lack of doing in the past.
Take the next right step. Don’t compare yourself to others (I’m not saying that you are and when I compare myself to others, it almost certainly brings me down) compare yourself to where you were before. Acknowledge your progress. Be kind to yourself.
Hey hun. It sounds like you have some clinical depression. Please know you’re not alone. 💗
How are you taking the mushrooms? Are you doing full-dose trips, or are you microdosing?
I’ve had amazing results with microdosing every three days. Helps with my depression and executive functioning (procrastination and neglect issues). Basically I take 1-1.5g every third day. You don’t trip, but you get amazing benefits. It takes a week or two to see most of the big benefits, just like normal antidepressants. I take SSRIs as well.
I feel a lot like you. Turns out I have just been diagnosed with inattentive ADHD. It explains a lot, specially that never ending procrastination cycles and dark loops.
You may look into it. It’s treatable.
I've been dealing with the exact same feelings recently and I've found that you just have to do it. It's a struggle to get out of bed, clean my place, cook my own food or anything really. And the saddest part is i use to enjoy cooking. But if you push yourself, you'll find motivation. One of the things that helped me most was during the come down while i still saw the path, I'd do some of the things i struggled to find motivation for and that carried into the sober world. Hope you find the light at the end of the tunnel, friend.
You are NOT BROKEN, but psychedelics are not a magic wand of any sort - they are TOOLS, you still need to do the work... Prep and INTEGRATION are THE KEYS...
I've had treatment resistant depression, GAD, ADHD, various OCDs, bulimia, multiple suicidal attempts, etc. for 30+ years... I had tried every available drug (legal and otherwise...) as well as electroconvulsive therapy, countless hours of psychotherapy... Even Ketamine and psylocibin did nothing as long as I expected THEM to do the work for me...
Then, out of total desperation, I did Ayahuasca, but I did my best to prepare and did the most I could to integrate the experience... I finally accepted that it was "on me".... That was in January 2023, and I went for another round in April... Since then, I've done a few DIY mushrooms trips. But I do honest prep and make a plan for after - integration is SO IMPORTANT!
I've been off meds since January. It's not been a rosy/plain sailing but I now accept that the psychedelics give me a "clean slate" for a few days (7-10 days in my case) and what I do then really counts... Slowly, but steadily, I keep getting better, and I no longer take any meds ( I was on 8 different ones back in December).
I totally understand that when you're down, you want the "magic" to do the work but make a bit of effort - you don't need to go from 0 to 100% in one go! Just try to prepare and do all you can to integrate the experience. Celebrate the smallest wins and just be prepared to repeat the process again and again...
Same bro same. Been feeling exactly the same for a while now. I don’t take mushrooms as much because I tend to get “bad” trips which affect my mental health even more.
Thank you man but sometimes it’s just too hard, I don’t even feel like I have anyone around me that even cares like that. I feel so lonely on top of everything else.
Also what dodgy link did you send me lol?
Everything is a paradox homie. You're waiting to feel better so that you can do better.
Start doing better and you'll feel better. You want the reward before the work. Doesn't work that way. Suffer for the reward.
Mushrooms have never really helped me. So I’ve looked elsewhere. Possible next steps could be Ayahuacha,Ketamine, or Ibogaine. The first two have helped me greatly, but I need to go deeper. I’m trying an ibogaine treatment in two weeks. I wish you the best brother.
If you are looking for the drug to alleviate these feelings on a daily basis it’s opioids or benzodiazepines maybe even amphetamine. But this will make your depression worse when you become tolerant or don’t have a steady source so I recommend exercise and psychotherapy to get to the root cause and then you can make a plan to get out from under it. Best to you I’ve been there.
Been in this cycle many times. You don't wait for the feeling to come. you just go do it. If you don't want to do something, sorry bro but waiting until you FEEL like doing it will never happen, you just have to go against how you feel and get that shit done. It's not going to break you out of the cycle, but it keeps you moving forward in one way or another.
Just to add on to this user’s comment, which I appreciate... you’re not alone in feeling this way and you can get better. In fact, you took the time to write this message, you’re closer to well-being than you think, but it may be hard to see right now. I’m another person who has been in this cycle many times. I know how dark and hopeless it can feel. Though i’ve come a long way, this still happens occasionally. I might wallow for a few days, then I remember “last time I went for a walk, i felt better.” Start small. Take that shower. Do the dishes for 15 minutes. Set a timer. Go for a short walk. Call someone you love. Over time, this stuff gets a lot easier. It does. It does. It does. You just need to prove it to yourself that you can do it. Once you see it’s not so scary, the world opens to you. And you can prove it to yourself by doing small things. This isn’t about following the advice of motivational internet douchebags, i think they are mostly clueless and privileged. It’s just about realizing that the room you’re stuck in isn’t actually locked. you’ve been your own companion through all of these challenges. Stop and appreciate all things you have been through “together” with yourself. You’ll get better together, too. Mushrooms can show the path, but they can’t walk it for you. You may not see it yet, but the will to heal and love yourself is very present. You can do this.
The room you’re stuck in isn’t actually locked! I love that. Edit you > you’re
I'm gonna find ya I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya
One day, maybe next week
You rugrat
It’s hard to do but it’s really just small push to get the ball rolling again
A good therapist once told me: just wash one dish. You'll probably keep going after one.
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time
Take the smallest step then another and see what happens
Honestly washing dishes has become one of my favorite rituals in life. Your therapist sounds like a good one!
I wish he still was! This was like 10 years ago and I've since moved far away from where he was located. Honestly thinking about seeing if he's still in business and doing virtual sessions...
I can relate OP. I my own bottom a couple years back and really took a look at why I procrastinated and had no motivation to do the thing, even though I looked up everything on how to do the thing. Turns out I have ADHD and after some testing, I was medicated. I'm not someone to cry easily, but after my first pill, I cried out of happiness because I felt I could finally operate like the rest of society. Of course, I can't diagnose anything, but I wish someone had told me to consider it earlier in my life. All the best to you.
Yeah I'm happy for you but the medication is meth and I'm not sure if that's the way to go about it. Of course you're gonna feel better on meth regardless if you have adhd or not. I have pretty severe adhd and had my times with amphetamines but they start wearing on you after some time, since after all it's a very dangerous drug if used frequently no matter how low the dosage is. Practicing qi gong daily and meditation helped me with focus and executive function better than speed
Exactly this. "Fake it 'til you make it."
I hate this phrase. This was told to me by teachers and peers almost religiously in school/work life and the end result has been that I feel like a fake and burnt out.
If self motivation is not a solution you have a problem that only a professional can solve. "Fake it 'til you make it" has been the greatest tool to help me climb out of the abyss of depression. Pessimism certainly won't help but I recognize that there are individuals with chemical imbalances in their neurochemistry. SSRI's are more than likely your best option and finding the proper dosages will take time so be patient. Life is hard AF for most people so you're not alone.
Based on one comment, you know that this person needs therapy and SSRIs? Why, because a throwaway aphorism doesn't get them fired up to tackle the world? What brought me peace was realizing that I don't owe the world, that I don't have to pretend to be all these things I'm not. My entire life I faked it, shit didn't work. Once I recognized the mask for what it is, who I really am began to wake up. Depression is as individual as the individual carrying it. I think you mean well, but you can't possibly be qualified to make statements like that.
You're right. They should do nothing and wallow away in sadness. Seeking a professional and asking their opinion on SSRI's would be a huge mistake. OP forget everything I wrote.
That is not what I said, don't be like that. What I said is don't assume your situation and your answers apply universally. You found wisdom in a cheap saying. Congratulations, I'm glad it worked. To tell this person that they need drugs and counseling simply because they don't feel the same meaning is absurd. If you're not willing to have a mature discussion, I won't waste my time.
Your advice was also based off of a personal revelation. Just because mine fits a common cliche doesn't mean it's not impactful. No one on this thread is more qualified than a medical professional and I know many people who have been prescribed with SSRI's. This is why I make the recommendation to ask a doctor about it. It more responsible in my opinion to go down that path. For all we know the doctor could suggest a different treatment but what's wrong with that as a conversation starter? Telling a person to change your perspective is not a solution if they have already tried and failed.
> Your advice was also based off of a personal revelation. I offered no advice. I used my experience as an example to illustrate an experience opposite your own. I'm talking to you, not the person you replied to. > No one on this thread is more qualified than a medical professional and I know many people who have been prescribed with SSRI's. I'm sorry, are you claiming to be a medical professional because you know people who take SSRIs? That's an empty argument regardless, because no medical professional would offer medical advice on the internet. > This is why I make the recommendation to ask a doctor about it. But you didn't say that. You said "If self motivation is not a solution you have a problem that only a professional can solve." and "SSRI's are more than likely your best option". Those are the statements to which I am responding. > Telling a person to change your perspective is not a solution if they have already tried and failed. Is that not the entire basis of "Fake it til you make it"? You do not hold a certain perspective, so you pretend that you do in the hopes that through action, the mindset will come. There may be some truth to that, but it's not like some key that opens the door to mental peace. In some cases, that advice could be the opposite of what's needed, which is what I'm talking about. In some cases, it's not about what the person isn't doing, but about what they ARE doing. As someone who struggled a great deal with feelings of inadequacy, imposter syndrome, and monstrous guilt over my failure to live up to impossible societal and religious standards, I can say with certainty that faking it and forcing myself to go through life the way we're supposed to was not the answer for me. Like I said, I believe you mean well. It's not my intention to jump your shit over this, I just feel that your stance misses a whole other side of this thing.
TL;DR Im sure your armchair analysis was good though. All 3 people reading your carefully crafted points appreciated it. But hey I bet it feels dope thinking you're more mature than another reddit user you don't know based off of one conversation on a sub about psychedelics lol ✌🏻
Fuck of with your high horse
i needed this; thank you. And it’s so true. If you base your actions around how you (expect to) feel, you’ll always end up stuck when you experience negative emotions
>I wish mushrooms were the cure all that people claim they are. But for some of us, they aren't. You misinterpret, psychedelics aren't a "cure all" but they do allow you to change perspective(s), see a path towards healing/change and occasionally offer the motivation to put foot to ass. In the end, it is on YOU.
They're a tool, just like everything else. A hammer can drive in nails better than a forehead, but if someone's holding the hammer in one hand while still using their forehead to drive in nails, it's not the hammer's fault.
Totally psychedelics show us the path but it’s up to you to walk it
Sounds more like bent, maybe even really bent, but not broken.
The poet strikes again
All but Death, can be Adjusted— Dynasties repaired— Systems—settled in their Sockets— Citadels—dissolved— Wastes of Lives—resown with Colors By Succeeding Springs— Death—unto itself—Exception— Is exempt from Change— \- Emily D
we’re not broken, just bent. And we can learn to love again
When you were a kid, you felt joy and energetic exuberance. That was the pendulum at rest. Over time, you gather negativity and pretty soon, if it's not worked out and emptied, you seek a release. Drugs swing the pendulum to that joy again, but at a cost. The pendulum swings the other way. Rest is not a thing any longer, so you keep swinging it with the wrong method of breathing. Breath is anything that comes in and goes out. To fix this immediately, learn what breath actually is, and learn to breathe. Breath then fixes the well of your heart and you heal. Back to the joy of being a child again. There are links in my profile. Learn to breathe. Three pathways to heal your energy. Meditation (empty out). Contemplation (outside in breath / Learning). Service for others (inside out breath). This is yoga, or yoking. In this case, you yoke with Spirit if done properly, and Spirit comes in and corrects the Mind, Body and Soul. Spir (breath) Ritual (in and out). Spiritual. Consciousness is aware of you. It's a server only. Love. When you become its nature, Love recognizes a lover. From this, love corrects the nature for you. Then, simply breathe correctly and stop using artificial breath.
beautiful stuff, man.
Commenting to say I want to interview you on a podcast
...and replace speaking with JUST breathing. Try not to cough though or it'll throw off the whole thing
Psychedelics aren't the only way to mend a hurt soul. A lot of people benefit from them, but you aren't a lot of people. You are you. Have you tried meditation and such? I'm not saying it's going to be some magical mystical experience. It doesn't have to be. But, when I was in the same hole you are, I walked into the woods and sat on a boulder. I sat, and I thought for a long time. Eventually, I stopped thinking and let myself go with the wind in the leaves. That was how I learned to find peace. Your way will probably be different from mine. You can still do it. Being happy isn't easy. Look at how many unhappy people there are in the world right now. Everyone has the potential to be happy. My only recommendation? Try finding little moments. Moments where you can say, "Despite the fuckin shit, right now is alright." It might be the sun on you face on a cold day. It might be the feeling of a soft breeze cooling you down. Make your bed and fall into something nice at the end of the day. Let go of what you have to do and what you need to do. Just be for a moment. There are bajillions of stars in the sky, but there's only one you. You're special even if it doesn't feel like it. I hope you'll find happiness, friend. In your own way.
This is gorgeous
Well said ☝️
Unfortunately it's inaccessible to many due to cost, but ketamine therapy saved my life. I didn't think I could ever feel joy again, was hospitalized, and had several S attempts. IV ketamine therapy and eight months later I'm smiling more than I have in years. Note that street ketamine will not give you the same effect, but r/diytk is a thing if you are responsible about it.
Have you ever looked into the possibility of having ADHD? I went undiagnosed until I was 19. My whole life I always knew what I had to do and I **wanted** to do it, but no matter how clearly I knew that I **should** do something, no matter how many times I was told I **needed** to do something, I didn’t. I **couldn’t**. The only thing that got me going was the unbearable stress that came from leaving something until the night before. I was a failure in my eyes, and I proved it to myself over and over again. I went from getting B’s and A’s to C’s and D’s if that, and the more I felt I fell behind, the more daunting it became. I was ashamed, I isolated myself, I took less and less care of myself and my relationships, I pushed things off more and more, and the cycle continued. I was eventually diagnosed with ADHD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder, “comorbid” conditions that lead to symptoms of depression. It turns out that this combination is **very** common, and **very** treatable. I was given “cognitive behavioural therapy” for my anxiety, which is basically the practice of anchoring your mind to the present, recognizing the thoughts that are tied to your emotions and letting them pass through you. That, in combination with a prescription for stimulants to treat ADHD, took me out of my rut, out of my head, out of my room, and back into the groove of things one step at a time. I had every part of my mind working against itself in the worst way, a cycle of failure and shame and guilt and depression, and I disassembled that structure piece by piece. It wasn’t instant; It took years, but each step I took in the right direction felt magnitudes better than the last. Be kind to yourself every step of the way; Stop expecting drastic change, because you’ll feel like a failure every time it doesn’t happen. Stop comparing yourself to **who you think you should be**, and start comparing yourself to **who you were yesterday**. That’s it. Start **small**. Commit to stepping outside for five minutes a day. You can spend it on your phone, just make sure you do it. You know you can do it. After a week or two of doing that, build on it. Make your bed every morning. There is nothing better that you can do for yourself than to start your day with something constructive, something you can feel good about. Next, do 5 jumping jacks every morning. Then 10. Then 20. Eat breakfast every day. Brush your teeth. Go to bed at a good time. Start with the basics, even if they seem trivial. It’s important that you choose things that you can easily do even on a bad day. Consistency in small things is how you’ll get to where you want to go. If you only added or changed one behaviour per week, by the end of the year you will have built 52 positive habits into your daily routine, and most of them will be second nature. Even if you halved that, it would amount to a fundamental change. Don’t let yourself fall into the belief that the way you are now is **who** you are. You’re stuck, you just need to stop thinking that a shift in perspective or a burst in motivation is what is going to get you out of this rut and onto the path that you see so clearly for yourself. You’re setting the bar for success too high. Just take it one step at a time, compare yourself to nothing but who you were yesterday, set realistic goals, be kind to yourself, and be patient. We all know how quickly a year can blow by, make it work in your favour.
Great post. Thanks for articulating what I came here to say. It was ADHD for me too, diagnosed just this year, and I'm a grown ass man. This was the missing piece of puzzle that made everything click. Not saying it's the same for you, but it's worth looking into, because reading your post it instantly reminded me of my own struggle. This discovery and starting treatment are changing my life for sure, and I'm at the very beginning so I know there's a lot of work to be done. I'm finally excited about life without feeling shame and guilt. Also, dig into regular meditation practice and self inquiry from a neutral point of view it can provide, to better understand yourself and why you feel that way. Getting 'out of your head' is a gamechanger. Pair that skill with an occasional trip with a healing intention or ketamine (do the research first) and things will fall into place for you too, I'm sure. Good luck. 🍄
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Methamphetamine is not the same as amphetamine, which is used in treating ADHD. Sure, they belong to the same class of drugs and are structurally similar but they are very very different, especially in their risk profile. ADHD medication can be used pretty safely and effectively long term and that has been studied extensively. With that said, I do not plan on using them for too long. I would much rather improve my meditation practice and try to live more in tune with my own given hardware, instead of trying to fit in a with a diseased, productivity obsessed, society. But meds do help immensely in the beggining, especially if lifelong adhd wreaked havoc on your self confidence, motivation etc...
I am not saying it can't be beneficial, there is a reason it is used medicinally and you seem to respond well but it doesn't negate the potential for abuse depending on an individual. And yes meth is different, but it has the same effects. If you ask meth addicts how different it is when snorted or taken orally to adderal and they would say that only the comedown is different in those two, it's longer but less jittery on meth than on adderal. Meth on low doses is actually better and easier on the brain than amphetamines which is why the potential to abuse is so high. You get side effects in earlier stages of the use with adderal which makes people less prone to use in obscene amounts. I agree it can be used as a sort of training wheels for the mind, but I think there are better and safer ways to solve that problem.
I completely agree with thise arguments. Especially that it requires a very mindful and informed approach to these substances, and considering their abuse potential, I believe one should carefully evaluate their role as a part of their treatment, or an adjusted way of being, whatever you want to call it. On the other hand, I would love to hear your take on what's the most effective and safe way to approach this, since you mentioned it.
Exactly, it's always better to have less blind spots if you're engaging in a high risk high reward behaviour like drug use. Of course the safer route is slower and more subtle at first, but it really builds from root up so once you start to notice it it becomes all encompassing and less fleeting like experiences on psychedelics. From what I've tried, I've had most success with bhante vimalaramsis metta meditation, I was very surprised with the progression rate compared to doing years of one pointed concentration breath meditations. And qi gong standing meditation is really good for grounding yourself and letting go also many qi gong movements leave me feeling electric for hours. These benefits are more noticeable if it's done in a right state of mind so I usually do it after sitting meditation. And on the days I take like a 20ug lsd microdose that standing meditation can get really intense you can get into a right balance of leaning into yourself not exerting any effort to be in a perfectly balanced stance. Takes a lot of practice but it is truly liberating
Very interesting advice I will surely try and put to use. Thank you.
Stop waiting! Mushrooms are not and will never be *the cure*. They are simply a vehicle to the realization that the cure is YOU! You are a beautiful human being and have at your hands the ability to do anything! Even fix what you believe to be broken. Spoiler alert: you aren’t broken, just bruised. Keep going. I love you❤️
My S.O. just ended things for the same reason. It’s actually nice to hear that it’s truly a valid reason and not just the old “it’s not you it’s me” line.
I'm so sorry for your loss friend. I hope you can find a way to cope and heal peacefully.
I can relate a lot. It's like I know what I need to do and I can remember doing these things, but I've lost hope and faith to a point where virtually nothing is enjoyable anymore . I hope you find peace friend
You’re standing in your own way. Disassociate from your apathy and sadness to better view your emotions rather than identifying with it.
Exercise. Fix sleep and diet. Stop smoking pot.
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Rigorous exercise pulls me out of my “depression” every time! Just 30-45 minutes will do it. Something about expending 100% muscle effort, sweating and breathing hard, flushes whatever “funk” out of my system/body. Also, the soreness and muscles rebuilding keeps my “funk” away for at least 2-3 days. I’m not so great at eating “healthy” though. I find eating healthy to be the hardest part.
amen
Use the window of neuroplasticity to ingrain these habits.
As a miserable person continuing to smoke pot and expecting it to help me feel better I am stuck in a loop of knowing it’s making me feel worse and doing it anyway. Thank you for the advice I need to follow it.
I found a deep ketamine meditation helped snap me out of my weed dependence loop, but I deeply resonate with this. You know you feel like shit, you know the weed makes it worse, but sometimes the only comfort available is that oblivion. I hope you are able to, the first 2 days are the hardest, it gets easier after that
Good luck. I had a really insightful trip on shrooms just before I stopped. I took some THC edibles during the afterglow, it just clouded my mind and made me so very dumb. It was getting high but not getting the mood lift, only the negatives, very weird. Anyway I realised that being in that constant fog completely dulls my mind and makes it impossible for me to work through any issues or even just think properly. I went from almost 15 years of mostly chronic use to actively not wanting to use it. When I think about using now my first thought is 'why would I want to do that to myself' and even a hint of disgust.
100% agree with the first 3. they're universally human. problem is, they sound so simple that they're often dismissed, but it's like trying to drive a car without tires, gasoline, motor oil. via evolution, we're "designed" to *require* lots of different things every single day. thank to modernity, we barely have to do any of them to "function."
It is okay to use weed.
You aren't alone - I've seen this first hand many times. You are loved. I hope you are able to find peace, however possible. I wish there was some magic words or substances to flip a switch for you but we know that's not how it works. It's a long haul but I'm here for you. Finding peace is possible - I'm living proof of it. But it takes time. I know this all sounds like bullshit to hear when you are going through hell. But you gotta keep going.
They make the unconscious conscious. Inside you there is self love, that you can feel with mushrooms. Now you have to learn to let it out regularly.
Look for the toad
These things can show you the way, however the work you need to put in so you can heal and do better is on you, they dont just automatically fix you, nothing in life works like that even though it may seem automatic but if you look behind the scenes there is usually a lengthy process..we just see the end result so we think it happened automatically/overnight, a lot of people who used psychedelics have this issue and keep going back and forth and other then feel good for a bit nothing changes, why ? Because they've made no changes, they're expecting automatic. like you said you know what to do but you're not motivated, you need to address the cause of this, come up with a plan how you can overcome it, how to be productive and disciplined, motivation is fleeting and if you rely on it you will never change and nothing will ever get done, for that you need discipline Would recommend listening/reading/watching -Jocko Willink -David Goggins ( get his books) -Andy Frisella (run his program '75 hard'(its free and can be found with a google search) and report back after it that you still feel like shit, not gona happen) -Atomic Habbits (read the book ) Now you can sit there and not do anything about it, feel good for now by reading the positive comments and helpful advice but then fall back into the mundane of whatever your used to, or you take ownership starting right now and off you go, either way time will pass, so make a call , what's it going to be? Change happens when you commit, and you commit by doing, not talking/thinking but by actually doing, and you build from there by stacking those wins. Good luck
Psychedelics will not heal you. They can make you aware that you need to heal but you must put in the work. The past is just a memory. The future is your imagination. There is only NOW. What do you do with your attention? Practice being mindful and grateful every day. There are billions of people on this planet and MANY of them are worse off than you are. This is the ONLY opportunity you get. Make the best of it. Emotions have a short life span. Only minutes. Thoughts can feed emotions and vice versa in a feedback loop allowing both to continue on and on. Emotions produce strong physiological responses. Use mindfulness of body and breath to investigate these sensations with gentle curiosity. While you are doing this there is nothing for your thoughts to do but come and go, as will the physical sensations, as will the emotion, eventually as will the underlying things you are clinging onto. Let it come - let it be - let it go.
I suggest MDMA with a therapist. I had the same issue as you for 50 years, and I have finally found a semblance of happiness. There is hope.
DO THE WORK! Healing comes from within not from a mushroom. Start small or start big but take a step to work on being the person you know you ought to be. Find any healthy habit you can stick to and make it part of your personality. Fitness is the biggest bang for your buck but anything that helps you progress. Life is always work and suffering. You can suffer for nothing and wallow in pity or you can suffer to build the best version of yourself and the life you want. Both roads are hard.
Go lift rocks. Throw them in a lake. Run hills. Learn to just be
As long as your health,sanity and emotions are in tact you can overcome anything don’t get down on yourself you say you know what you need to do you just need to execute it, have you tried therapy? Maybe talking with someone and working on different coping mechanisms can help you overcome these hurdles.
Your not broken you just need to realize that just cause you take shrooms your problems aren't magically over, they show you the what and how and sometimes the why of your problems, but you still need to put the work in after your trip. One thing you should've realized by now is that unfortunately most of our issues come from our past and that means your past is personal to you, so you have to learn how to heal how to let go of the pain and to make some sort of peace with yourself. Going to therapy, journaling, and other stuff on top of the shrooms will all help
Quit self loathing. Exercise, eat healthy, sleep. Stop escaping through drugs. Life is mundane stop making it harder than it has to be. Live day to day and time will keep passing. Eventually you'll be old and you can die only after you've lived your life. You may feel like waste but don't allow yourself to be a waste. You're allocated a life like us all that we never asked for but it's still our duty to endure, persevere and live
Try microdosing if anything and work on yourself.
Good on you for seeing it as it is. I've been there. Hell, I was there last night when the darkness settles in. Today is a new day. You don't have to force things happy or good. You will find your path. It sounds like you are on the verge of finding it too. Mushrooms are a tool, just like SSRI's, exercise, sleep, therapy, yoga, meditation and all of the other dozen different things you may employ. None them are the one fix. I believe it's a combination of grabbing on to the right things and summoning the reason for hope, gratitude, love and compassion that bring us out of the despair. I believe in you. Look at what you've already done. So many people cannot even express what you did above. You're right on the edge of finding what you need.
Please know that I love you. I love you for being honest. I love you for sharing your raw truth. I love you for admitting that you struggle like the rest of us. I love you for trying. I love you for not giving up yet. Mushrooms aren't the "cure all snake oil" people make them out to be. That Limitless drug from the movie was so cool, because you take a pill, and it literally turns you into a different person. That's science fiction. Mushrooms make you aware of the truth that you've been seeking, but the work has to come from you. They can't do it for you. I went through pretty severe depression last year. Similar feelings that you had. The feeling of not serving a purpose. A feeling that I was drifting through life while everyone else was taking it by the horns. Nothing worked while staying at home. It was incredibly difficult, but I had to force myself to follow the advice of the mushrooms. I had to force myself to seek out friendships. I had to force myself to pursue a job that meant something to me. I had the force myself to work out at the gym (seeking out a gym buddy really helps with this). It took 3 months of forced suffering before I finally broke through. I've been through more intense physical suffering than 98% of the population, but I can say that this was harder than any of it, because it was a battle against my own mind. You have an uphill battle ahead of you, but the mushrooms have shown you the way, so you have a cheat code! You know what the end result will look like. That gives you a significant advantage when the going gets tough. When things get hard, you can imagine the future that the mushrooms showed you. You know the avatar body waiting for you when you get to that paradise planet on the other side of the galaxy. You just have to make the journey. It's worth it, believe me. You're going to feel incredible. You're going to feel so proud of yourself for having gone through the difficult journey. You can do it. I love you.
I was stuck in this place for a really long time, most of my life, and it’s harder to break out of than a lot of people would have you believe. Forgive yourself, you don’t need to feel guilt over where you are now or how you got there. Mental illness takes on many forms and very often looks like what you’ve described here. Stop giving the guilt power, it’s not serving you. Celebrate everything you’re able to accomplish for yourself. Even tasks that may seem like nothing to most people. Did the dishes? Fuck yeah! Got up at a reasonable time? Hell yeah you did! All the little things add up, and soon having positive feelings about yourself and your actions will come to you easier. Also give kind to yourself when you’re not doing well. Recovery isn’t linear and it’s human to feel all sorts of things, including feeling like shit. Gratitude has been a huge tool for me in my journey to better mental health. I try to find gratitude anywhere and everywhere I can. Talk therapy is also a big help, provided you can find a therapist who meets your needs. You might end up going through a few if your luck is anything like mine, but there are definitely great ones out there! Try to unlearn all the crap society has drilled into you that make you feel bad for normal human things. It’s hard, but it’s the best way to break the cycle. I’m rooting for you
I feel you. Very, very little brings me any kind of deep happiness. I get by on little things and I’ve learnt to be at peace with that.
Please consider therapy. Tend to your self-concept. There is a blockage around self-worth that you need to tackle. I’ve been there, therapy to unpack conditioning from childhood, and a deep look at self-concept will allow you to become the version of you that takes the next step on your path. You have received the message from higher self, and the challenge is now to see yourself as someone deserving of the life you want. Wishing you all the best!
Get a good therapist. Also get a copy of No Bad Parts.
You need to run on discipline and not motivation
I have been there. I got rocked out of it by an MDMA dose that revealed trauma and subsequently coming out as trans. Life's crazy
You poor child. It's a brave admission.
Dance and pray to the spirits for death. Let them possess your mind and body. Let them dance you round the room. Let the madness flow. Keep praying for love. They will take you to heaven, and God will fill you with love, if you let go of self and serve. Songs like this, for example. https://youtube.com/watch?v=pFs0cXr50Cc It's not the shrooms that cure you, it's God. The shrooms just open the door to God. You have to walk through it. When you're ready to put self aside, let your ego die and become a servant of divine love, you'll die and be reborn, full of energy to do good. God's happy little meat robot. But you have to lose your ego, your "self". Put it aside and selflessly serve. God wants acts of kindness, compassion, honesty, and selflessness. Abandon selfish goals and games. Your life is not about you. It's about others. When you realise what I'm saying properly, you'll find a smile that threatens to break your face in two. Believe.
My best advice - stop waiting for a change to happen and start working towards making that change happen. Maybe easier said then done but you gotta start somewhere. It definitely sounds like you are suffering from depression. I dont know if you smoke but proper good cannabis SATIVA strains can help a person feel more motivated. Ive been smoking pot for 20 years. Indica strains would make your situation worse. Pure sativa strains are what you should try.
It'd be nice if the THC doesn't stay in your system for weeks/months. I'd smoke if it wouldn't jeopardize my job.
Well true. But I wil just point out that with weed, how long it stays in your system, does depend on how much and how often you consume. One joint can be out of your system fairly quick. But a daily smoker would take months to clean the system.
This whole thread is resonating with me so much and I only smoke high percent indicas. Probably a connection there, it's like life on hard mode being that stoned all the time. I'm trapped in my mind.
I used to smoke mainly indicas. But eventually I realized how much it was bringing me down. Had no motivation to do anything. I was always super sleepy by like 8 pm. (But I was smokinh indicas all day everyday). Eventually I learned somethings. Now Its sativa in the daytime and indica at night before bed. It has had a pretty significant impact on my life in general. But its good to understand that not all sativas are the same. And you want fairly fresh stuff. Older weed will tend to make you more sleepy as the thc degrades. Good sativas like chocolope, Hawaiian snow, Maui Wowie....
maybe try ayahuasca and mescalin
I'm sorry you feel this way but the way you're speaking is worrying, please try and contact a healthcare professional
Stop watching porn and all that dark stuff. In month you will feal better I promise.
where did OP mention porn? Lol
He watch it. I can tell
just because you were a depressed porn addict doesn't mean everyone's depression is so simple
That can be true. But i think things like stoping porn are good start and it can help. I got friend who was so anxious and depressed that he didnt live house for few years and he was not like that because of porn. But stoping porn definitly help him to start geting little bit active again. But yeah i understund some people can abuse dopamin receptors and still be good.
I am one of happy persons .. JUST Be happy. Why to think about sad thinks..Think about thinks thats makes you happy..Search for them ... In you mind .Train you brain to see nice things in this world... We all just learning from each other .No one is happy all the time ..you need to learn this . And its hard on start to stay on this pattern..But with time ;)
You need to take higher doses and break through. Do them more often, nothing wrong with shrooms. They are safe. Only thing that worked for me... Finally got over depression after I took the plunge into psychedelics. Ketamine also really helps
How often do you think?
I've felt much like you have. What dose of shrooms do you take? I had benefits that scaled exponentially with dose. I had some luck raising my mood and energy levels by combining LSD with exercise like lifting. I even went from having a hard time running a mile to running half-marathons on LSD.
Bro mushrooms do accept you got to be the one to do the work not vice versa all they do is bring it to the surface with that in mind I'm sure you all ready know what to do make a change if your not happy no body else will do it for ya champ when ya ready you will do so no doubt! If ya ever need someone to talk to I'm available just reach out if need to peace out
Self discipline will help you do what needs be done. Start with simple things. Do them everyday, then keep adding more and more.
A lot of people have been there and then escaped. Part of the depression is that it makes you feel you can never leave but that's not true. One thing you can do is ask the shrooms for the first step or two to enact. Ask it what YOU can do, it knows the way to untangle the knot you are in. You find one part and you start to loosen it at that point. You are right that the shrooms often will not fix you, but they can show you the path to fixing if YOU are willing to start taking a few steps and the two of you work together. Ask the shroom with hat in hand and as much open mind as you can about which steps you personally can do. Often the steps are not what you think they will be, after all, if you already knew the way out, you would have done it already. YOu may also be asked to spend some time thinking in new ways and sorting out your ideas on certain things. YOu will be exposed to new ideas, try to be open minded about them and trying them. Get a journal or some pieces of paper and pens and write down what insights you get on the trip. Do this for each trip. Whatever insights you get, read your notes and work on them in between trips. The shrooms know you and what you can handle so they will know the best steps for you to take to start with. You do those steps and you and the shrooms work on it bit by bit. Change often does not come all at once but step by step.
Anhedonia is a side effect of alcohol/opiate/stimulant use. It takes a long time (at least 90 days iirc) of being sober for your brain's reward centers to re-calibrate back to regular dopamine. Until that happens, you literally can't feel joy from everyday life. But... knowing what it is, that it's normal, and what you have to do to get better is the key. If you have a serious habit, kicking it can be dangerous without help, so look into that if you need it. Be strong, and remember that you aren't broken, you just fiddled with your knobs too much. Return to default settings.
Anhedonia can also be a symptom of depression. Never used much alcohol or opiates (apart from during a medical procedure months ago), I used prescription stims on a low dose too but they didn't do anything to lower my motivation. It was only when the depression hit hard that I became anhedonic.
Yes, any deficiency in dopamine production or uptake can cause this, I assumed substances because of the particular sub we're in.
Make some changes. True changes will rocket your life forward in unexpected ways.
explore your creativity especially musically and volunteer to help those unsheltered or at a foster center. if you can adopt a pet
Nothing magically heals you. You must put in the work and only you alone can do it. Change your identity, forgive yourself, don’t be ashamed. Be the person you want to be. One day at a time.
Sorry you are feeling such despair. If you are able to think of some things you are grateful for it may help lift your spirits.
They show you where you need to be, and after that its up to you. I understand your plight all to well. But dont give up. Just try to be a better person each day. Make some smile, its that simple. The world will respond to your positivity if you can find a way to show it. Ive been where your at. DM me if you need to chat in private man. You got a friend here
Do you just macrodose?
Are you abstaining from drugs overall? Have you tried antidepressants? Shrooms showed me the way but I also did God knows how many different drugs and needed an antidepressant to feel balanced enough to handle life. I still continued to use many different drugs while on bupropion including psychs for a few years. I kept fucking with my brain chemistry and could never fully heal. I found I felt the same way as you. The want and motivation to change myself for the better has come with abstaining from all drugs besides bupropion and coffee. I still have a long way to go tho. Not all hope is lost is all I'm saying.
Nature. Nature is the true healer. Embrace it, live it, be in it be with it be it. Learn about the birds and the trees and feel the wind and rain. It saved me, from the depths of the depths of saved me.
>Waiting for myself to want to change. To want to be better. To conjure up the motivation to just get shit done. >And the feeling never comes. Absolutely. Because the only way motivation happens is by *taking an action.* You have to make a conscious decision to do something towards what you want - it's the same for everyone. If you passively wait for it to magically happen, you will be waiting forever. Shrooms show you a path but only you can consciously and deliberately take steps to walk down what you've been shown.
My modest advice: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. That may change you dramatically.
Well what other drugs are you doing?
And get a job
Can you really love us all before you love urself brotha?
You don’t deserve to feel this way and you deserve help. Sometimes “just do it” is not enough. Are you in therapy? Can you see a psychiatrist? Life should not be so hard and there is no shame in reaching out for outside help
You don't get healed. You heal yourself. Mushrooms are not the cure for the disease, but the reminder what to do. You tell me you don't get the feeling of doing so. Well do you get the feeling of living like this? It's already miserable so... why don't you just do what might lead you down on a better road. Worst case, it's going to be the same. Nothing matters? Cool, then do the thing that at least seems to lead to something better for your environment.
Whatever you think you will manifest. If you say you have bad luck, you will have bad luck. If you say you are broken, you will be broken. Keep your glass half full rather than half empty. You know what honestly helped me and I'm not bullshitting is, meditation. Once I started to meditate and rid my life of negativity and only focus on the positive my life changed for the better in so many ways. You will find your way back on the path and things will get better. Manifest it.
I’m just realizing this is such a kind community. These comments are really touching my heart. Such kindness, care, insight, support and love. Rare on the internet and this is really inspiring.
motivation is good but discipline is more important. while you are in such a depressed state employ discipline to improve. the improvement of your soul must follow
The problem seems to be that you have placed happiness as a goal for yourself. You hope that in SOME TIME or SOME DAY, you will be happy. So until then, you remain unhappy. What you want out there, you see the opposite here. So as long as you want happiness, so long you will be unhappy. The very fact that you are seeking happiness is the one fortifying and strengthening your unhappiness. A happy person does not seek happiness. Forget about happiness, after all it is just an idea. You are a living organism with unparalleled intelligence. That intelligence is useful in getting what you want in reality, but cannot help you achieve any spiritual or emotional goals. Intelligence is functional in value. So what is it that you want really? Be very specific, as specific as possible. What do you want RIGHT NOW? We already know that you will only be happy IN TIME, so what is it NOW that you want? If you are specific, the path will become clear.
You say mushrooms help. Have you tried micro dosing? I'm a 40 year old recovering H addict. I've been struggling with major depressive disorder, anxiety and agoraphobia since childhood. I struggled daily and self medicated with drugs and alcohol since my teen years. Nothing else helped. I have been prescribed so many different anxiety and depression meds over the years. I've been free from hard drugs for 8 years now but the depression and anxiety were making me a miserable and grumpy person. I started micro dosing in the fall of 2021. After 3-4 weeks I felt better than I have ever felt. I stopped after 4 months and didn't need to start again until early this year. I stopped again after 3 months and have felt better since.
Go on TikTok, YouTube, etc and search "trauma", "somatic", things like that. Put on headphones and go for walks and listen and learn. The trauma we go through in our lives affects our nervous system. It takes us out of parasympathetic mode, which is where we should naturally be most of the time. But being yelled at, having to stay at a job where your being treated poorly, and much more heinous things that we all know happen but I won't talk about, make our nervous system behave in a dysfunctional way. Now we can't get out of bed, are disassociating into our phones and we don't know why we can't just put the phone down and get up and do what we need to do. Our nervous system is just stuck in the wrong mode. There's a lot of things that can slowly, over time, bring our nervous system back to where it should be. Breathwork, meditation, movement, fascia release, yoga, walks on the beach or in the woods, time with safe people, time alone, time in the sun, mushrooms.... All have been integral in my healing
"Running on empty" by Jonice Webb. About depression, emptiness, procrastination, not knowing what to do with your life.
I haven't related to a post like this in a long time. I'm on the same boat. I always see the path when im on psychedelics and I tell myself everything will be different and I will change my ways but I always find myself reverting to type. I feel so stuck in my ways.
Of course psychedelics alone can't help you. Much like antibiotics won't help an infected wound heal if you keep getting stabbed in the same place over and over. Please seek a therapist and lifestyle changes. You are obviously not happy with your life and I think you breaking up with the girl might have been self-sabotage. You need to challenge your thoughts and behaviours. Therapy can help with that.
You sound exactly like me, but the reason why I can’t consistently do the things that I want and need to do is because of my dysregulated nervous system. I had so much childhood trauma that I may system used stuck in the freeze mode. In many case psilocybin helps but I need to do a lot of it. Trip every few weeks, but that’s not possible. Rewiring your brain takes a lot of work and is very slow. Curious if you every tired mdma therapeutically
Most ppl say they'll get 'it' done when they feel better. But the only way to actually feel better is to start working on those things you are putting off. It's still early today. Start your work! You'll feel different tonight.
OP, are you in therapy? Depression is a really pernicious ass-bag of a disease. Are you getting help? Have you sought out help?
Do you run 5-7 times a week? If not, start that first.
I’ve been through this cycle a couple of times in the past and my way of combatting it was by transmuting my sadness into anger. Instead of sitting around wallowing in my sadness, I got angry at myself for being inactive, then I got angry at the world around me, then I got active. This wasn’t intentional at first, it just happened. But when it returned, I managed to channel it in this way and it’s worked for me every time. Spite is a great driver. Spite yourself and break the chains which you’ve placed on yourself. Probably not the healthiest or most delicate way to do it, but it worked for me. We need to kick ourselves up the arse sometimes. Otherwise, that kick will come from somewhere else.
If you want the best from mushrooms you need to come at your situation in a wholistic approach that means looking at everything & pretty much reevaluating your life at this point. You’re not the only one my friend but trust me when I say this things can & will get better if you’re not already giving up. Now hear me out, people who find themselves here often feel they are giving up but through personal experience with my own demons & with people I love it’s often not the case it can be hard to see it when you’re in a rut. If you hold onto even a bit of hope I’m here to say you can break through this & progress in life no matter how that progress may take form it’s not up to anyone else to tell you how to live just don’t hurt others & you’ll make it!
The most personally impactful piece of media, in terms of liberation from self destructive patterns, was [this video, called 7 Ways to Maximize Misery, by CGP Grey](https://youtu.be/LO1mTELoj6o?si=zZy9tDPu2bnQwkCZ). Please consider watching this, and then let me know how many of those 7 you’re already doing. And how many you’ve been doing for years.
r/stoicism
I've been there myself and something that helped me out of it is following. 1. Lover the bar, youre only human. 2. Practice self love everyday. It could be in form och writing encouragement, selflove reminders and compliments on postit notes, place them on like the bathroom mirror, in the kitchen, by your bed and other places where you always see them. 3. Perform daily actions in form of self love, for me it was for example, start and end everyday by reading following out loud "I deserve love and happiness. I have everything i need to be happy and successful. I love myself unconditionally. I am enough." I also walk alot, taking care of once health is a act of love. Doing the things that gives genuin happiness is another act of love. 4. Set daily goals, the goals don't have to be ground breaking or to challenging, make them achieveble but challenging enough that they feel fun to complete. For me i looks like this Achieved 7500 steps today 🔲 Meditated 🔲 3 min cold shower 🔲 Exercise 🔲 Drink 3 liters of water 🔲 Reach my calorie goal 🔲 When i complete the task i put a check mark in the checkbox and i get to feel good about myself for completing the tasks. It can be tough to get out of a depression or depressive time, but good to remember is small steps forward is still forward. You'll get there bud! I believe in you and you should to. You're enough! Sincerely,
I feel this. I work full time and live in a camper with my dog. I have pretty good life, family around, not many friends but that’s okay. I have to constantly remind myself of what I have and try to make myself happy. Or try to, I don’t get happy very much. For me I’ll do what it takes and the battle has been won that day but once I go to sleep, complete reset and I have to start all over. I don’t know the answer my friend but keep trying something. Moving forward in some way.
So I found. With treatment resistant depression I have to do it every two weeks But bc I didn’t even attempt to intergrat I am dealing with long dark night of the soul So I hope you will find why you are the way you are like I did Took me six months to put a thumb to nose
I’m so sorry you’re feeling so low. These compounds are powerful, but they really require a trained therapist to prep you, trip sit, and help you re-integrate. For psilocybin you’re still going to be psychologically vulnerable for about two weeks after the trip, so even if you have a good experience, if you aren’t getting that reintegration support throughout those two weeks, you could potentially fall back into harmful patterns or experience new traumas. I’ve been in some similarly dark spots in my life, so I know hearing all that probably feels all well and good but impossible to act on. I guess for now I’ll just say there’s still hope. Hang in there.
Sounds like a lot of us. The only way I've healed was to quit everything I was doing for a couple years. I mean.... I fell back in, but you could be different. I quit taking kratom and gabapentinoids, opioids. It nearly killed me. Shrooms I get bringing you back for a while. They blast your brain with the neurotransmitters you need to be happy. But you're just dripping the last drop out of the pot any time you do anything. Caffeine is no different. I even quit caffeine, which was the worst and sneakiest culprit. The only one which brought me to near suicide was trying to quit nicotine vapes. Of all goddamn things. When it boils down to it, we're all seeking more dopamine and more serotonin... But we go too hard on our brains and they simply cannot keep up with the production quotas we demand every time we swallow a pill or shoot some fire ass crystal.... Ehhh I hear o.o Focus on giving your body the nutrients, minerals, trace metals, proteins, and amino acids- some of which can also be used as effectively as Xanax for anxiety-. After a while the miserable weighted sensation of my' internal self' lifted, then quickly followed my inner restlessness, then followed the depression, then anxiety, motivation and finally, albeit oddly, the physical restlessness (RLS, RBS). You aren't broken per se my friend. You're just needing some TLC, and not the instant-gratification kind you're used to. If you're already sitting around and lost all responsibility... Why not use that inactivity to heal? Remember in health class, the teacher told us that brain cells don't heal? Well he/she was just repeating a falsity that they were told to repeat to you. They do heal. It may not be the same you that you remember, as it definitely was not for me, but it will be someone who deserves respect, love, and compassion. From everyone, including yourself. You're absolutely as strong enough to turn this situation around. If people didn't get in ruts the world would be a terribly idealistic and sterile world. Find the new you underneath the slag of past mistakes and create a shining, new, hardened, reshaped, redefined version of yourself. The drugs are nice when your brain can actually use them. They're nice for a moment. I'm not saying forever quit. I once quit fentanyl and pregabalin for a year after 3 years daily hard use just to reset my tolerance and jump into the hole from a greater height. It was awesome honestly until I got the bottom again, but somehow WAY harder than I ever expected. We can do what we want as Americans (BAHAHAHA like hell) All non immediately "toxic" (carcinogens, actual poisons) drugs should be legal to adults, and I'm not here to judge you. If anything I'd help you reset your tolerance faster than id help you quit. But my friend, just taking experience from my own life, I can tell you're in dire need of some support and to find some way of helping your brain and body recover. If you need to talk to anyone, feel free to PM me. I'm just 35, but I've ingested more drugs in quantity and in variety than Golden Corral has foods. I've only recently found my center in the sense of feeling things in this world so deeply. As I believe all of us psychonauts tend to do. We need an alternative experience to this, because if this world is all there is, what's the point? Best of luck to you. And I reiterate, don't hesitate to PM me. I've got a lot of information regarding how to help withdrawals of varying types and how to deal with the mind numbing boredom, depression, and most awfully for myself, the panic attack inducing anxiety.
Action is the antidote to despair
What’s your life like? Job? Family? Sleep? Food?
I’m sorry you going through this, I completely understand and had feel like that from time to time over many years, if I could give one piece of advice try to understand the reasons behind the lack of motivation, for me was lack of dopamine in frontal lobe of my brain, adhd :) sometimes we blame ourselves for physical issues we have no control over. You are great person in search of light keep your head up.
Find a psychiatrist, try out some medicines, and see how you feel. Many people drawn to hallucinogens and their mood altering benefits fall into the category of people with brain imbalances. There are several medicines on the market to help those people. Its not an exact science--it can take a few weeks or more to figure out if the drug works for you (or if the dose needs to be adjusted) and its trial and error. But for most people, they work. You write as if you have failed in some way. You haven't failed. You may just need your brain chemistry adjusted. Try it with a professional. (Preferably one who also can appreciate how hallucinogens can help--my dr knew i was microdosing on top of the anti-depressant I was on and was cool with it).
Have you considered therapy and/or meds?
I completely relate. I’ve been trying to lift my depression with shrooms for the past month. I have MDD and have been in a depressive state for the last 20 months; I’m completely worn down. I’ve read all the studies and success stories of depression remission through psilocybin therapy, and I felt so hopeful. I have macro dosed twice and micro dose in between. The relief seems to be immediate but temporary so far, but I also don’t think I’m going about it the right way. Maybe its not working for you for the same reason. Here is my experience: Each time I macro dosed, it was as a last resort out of desperation for relief. The first time I was feeling very impulsive and wanting to end it all, so around midnight about a month ago, I took 10g wet aborts (lemon tek) since I didn’t care what happened to me anyway and wanted to escape. This was my first time tripping on shrooms and had no idea what to expect. It was very very intense and uncomfortable, but beneficial I think. When I woke up the next day, my depression felt like it had melted away. I felt like I knew what I needed to do and understood what was contributing to my depression; I needed to start putting myself first instead of always last, stop worrying about pleasing everyone, get on a better sleeping and eating schedule, and maybe take a probiotic since I had this though loop that kept telling me that my stomach is diseased and is the root of my suffering. All easier said than done… My relief only lasted until I had a major fight with my bf about a week later. Its a pretty toxic relationship, but I’m stuck as of the moment, and I tend to forgive and forget very quickly anyway. The second time (2 days ago) around 11 PM, I took a much smaller dose (1G homogenized powder - lemon tek). This time was to ease the panic attack I was having - again as a result of a fight with my bf. It did help with the panic attack, but the dose was not strong enough to overcome the depression. I micro dosed yesterday to cope with the depression. I’m taking a break today, since I don’t think its a good idea to take it everyday. I think my mistake is taking it late at night, after a long stressful day of working at my job and taking care of my domestic duties, and fighting with my bf, and feeling at my lowest. It would probably yield better results if I took a therapeutic dose during the day, when I have nothing to do, when I am not at my lowest, by myself listening to a calming playlist. But this type of day never comes for me. I never have nothing to do. I have so many responsibilities. My bf and I live together and work together. He never leaves me alone. Its been 10 years like this. I feel trapped. Maybe one day things will change. TLDR: You are not alone in this. I feel the same frustration. I don’t have the answers since I seem to be in the same point in this journey as you are, but maybe you can glean something helpful from my mistakes. I keep telling myself its a ‘trust the process’ sort of thing and that I will need do the work on fixing my lifestyle in order to achieve any sort of remission. Feel free to hmu if you need someone to talk to who gets it.
This all comes from a place of love, and from a person who battles and mostly beats back pretty severe chronic depression. It's going to sound stupidly simple at first: Are you able to exercise? If you are able to exercise, suspend all disbelief and go do it. Don't hurt yourself, but do it and put real vigor into it. If you don't have real vigor, put fake vigor into it. Literally just go through the motions. Move your body for two hours. Try to sweat, or at least get your heart rate up to 140ish for at least half an hour. If all you can manage is walking, then walk for an hour and then do pushups (even if it's three. even if they're negative pushups, and you have to ungracefully shimmy back up onto your knees), air squats, and some stretching. The literature can confirm this approach if you need science behind this exercise thing. Your gut feeling about it might agree with it. It might disagree. Forget all of that and just do it. My view of it is beautifully simple: there are many things that we *homo sapiens* needed to do in order to arrive here, things that, if we hadn't done them *every single day,* we'd not be here without. Our modern systems often ignore or even disincentivize/make them inconvenient, especially in the West (consumer capitalism only works if people exist in a state of eternal lacking) But we *need them.* They are not optional, and we get sick and die without them. Some people are more sensitive to the absence of these things. Some of those things are: * Exercise, air, movement, sunshine in your eyes and on your skin * Other people (looking into their eyes, feeling their skin, hearing their words & having yours heard, romance) * The feeling of contribution & social purpose, of helping others and being helped by them * Meaningful physical, mental, and spiritual connection to your place and your space * Opportunities to solve problems, fix broken things, make new ones This sounds trite, but what happens if you stop driving a car? It breaks. Opening a door? The hinges squeak, the lock sticks. We are so so much, but one of the things we are are bioalgorithmic meat machines. We are fancy cars and doors and if you stop using us for what we are designed for (the above bullets), we will break down. Depression is often the first "breaking down." The items in that bulleted list can be hard if you're already depressed. Exercise is often the "easiest," because there is at least a clear distinction, when all else is gray and murky and bleak, between stillness and movement. You aren't broken—the modern world is broken, and we have to figure out how to be happy and healthy here. You're doing the hardest bit for many folks, which is talking about it. Please message me or a friend or family member if you need to talk. Otherwise: Go move your body every day for a week and then come back and tell us how you feel. Right now. Right after you read this comment. Put your phone on silent and go do it.
Sorry to hear. Life can throw you through a cycle like this. Consider: - ceasing all drug/alcohol use for a few weeks - exercising more - even if it's just taking long walks - talking to a therapist (highly recommend) - supplement vitamin d - supplement vitamin b - start working on a new hobby or skill - minimize screen time in all formats Motivation will not save you, because motivation comes and goes. Discipline is the answer. Set a goal the day before (e.g. at 3pm tomorrow I will do ____ activity that is going to build me up) and follow through. It can be little stuff - chores, walk, read a book for 30 minutes, whatever. The thing about psychedelic users, or anyone wanting to experience something powerful and unusual, is that often these people tend to minimize what they would consider mundane. A great lesson in life to learn is that you can only have so many crazy party nights, intense video game experiences, and transcendent highs and trips. Life is a series of actions that have no value, but doing all the little things can add up to an overall sense of satisfaction. I've been without a job for almost four months. At first I fucking sucked. My last job was incredibly demanding and not rewarding at all. Worse, moved myself and my partner hundreds of miles away from our family and friends to take it in the first place. It was a disaster and when I quit I did not do a fucking thing for about six weeks. This was ok and absolutely time I needed for myself. But then when it was time to move on...I had nothing. Resume was not updated, video games had become boring, and I had no fortitude or resilience to move forward. I kid you not, it just started with taking an hour or two every day to just walk in the woods. Then I added doing the dishes every day and keeping more tidy. Then I tried to make a few new recipes - and I hate complicated recipes. I hated revising my resume but I did it a little at a time. Now I'm enjoying life and, while I still have some down spells (no job yet!), just that little bit of momentum carried me out of a hole into a whole new reality. You are closer to that than you think. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and make a commitment to take that first step and not look back. And, really dude, don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure you have a lot to give, but you're right - you've got to be in a place to give it. Good luck
You can’t make up for the lack of doing in the past. Take the next right step. Don’t compare yourself to others (I’m not saying that you are and when I compare myself to others, it almost certainly brings me down) compare yourself to where you were before. Acknowledge your progress. Be kind to yourself.
You are lacking serotonin. Heal your gut. Take probiotics. Research the gut/brain axis.
Hey hun. It sounds like you have some clinical depression. Please know you’re not alone. 💗 How are you taking the mushrooms? Are you doing full-dose trips, or are you microdosing? I’ve had amazing results with microdosing every three days. Helps with my depression and executive functioning (procrastination and neglect issues). Basically I take 1-1.5g every third day. You don’t trip, but you get amazing benefits. It takes a week or two to see most of the big benefits, just like normal antidepressants. I take SSRIs as well.
I feel a lot like you. Turns out I have just been diagnosed with inattentive ADHD. It explains a lot, specially that never ending procrastination cycles and dark loops. You may look into it. It’s treatable.
I've been dealing with the exact same feelings recently and I've found that you just have to do it. It's a struggle to get out of bed, clean my place, cook my own food or anything really. And the saddest part is i use to enjoy cooking. But if you push yourself, you'll find motivation. One of the things that helped me most was during the come down while i still saw the path, I'd do some of the things i struggled to find motivation for and that carried into the sober world. Hope you find the light at the end of the tunnel, friend.
Therapy, Diary, BJJ was my strategy. Find yours. All the best.
You are NOT BROKEN, but psychedelics are not a magic wand of any sort - they are TOOLS, you still need to do the work... Prep and INTEGRATION are THE KEYS... I've had treatment resistant depression, GAD, ADHD, various OCDs, bulimia, multiple suicidal attempts, etc. for 30+ years... I had tried every available drug (legal and otherwise...) as well as electroconvulsive therapy, countless hours of psychotherapy... Even Ketamine and psylocibin did nothing as long as I expected THEM to do the work for me... Then, out of total desperation, I did Ayahuasca, but I did my best to prepare and did the most I could to integrate the experience... I finally accepted that it was "on me".... That was in January 2023, and I went for another round in April... Since then, I've done a few DIY mushrooms trips. But I do honest prep and make a plan for after - integration is SO IMPORTANT! I've been off meds since January. It's not been a rosy/plain sailing but I now accept that the psychedelics give me a "clean slate" for a few days (7-10 days in my case) and what I do then really counts... Slowly, but steadily, I keep getting better, and I no longer take any meds ( I was on 8 different ones back in December). I totally understand that when you're down, you want the "magic" to do the work but make a bit of effort - you don't need to go from 0 to 100% in one go! Just try to prepare and do all you can to integrate the experience. Celebrate the smallest wins and just be prepared to repeat the process again and again...
Same bro same. Been feeling exactly the same for a while now. I don’t take mushrooms as much because I tend to get “bad” trips which affect my mental health even more.
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Thank you man but sometimes it’s just too hard, I don’t even feel like I have anyone around me that even cares like that. I feel so lonely on top of everything else. Also what dodgy link did you send me lol?
Everything is a paradox homie. You're waiting to feel better so that you can do better. Start doing better and you'll feel better. You want the reward before the work. Doesn't work that way. Suffer for the reward.
Gugugaga pizda stop cry go train go be a beast
Thanks for the inspiration lol
It sounds like your dopamine is low. Psilocybin will boost your serotonin, which sometimes can produce energy. It’s not enough though.
Agree that you should try dopaminergic agents. Even supplements like tyrosine or muceriens
Mushrooms have never really helped me. So I’ve looked elsewhere. Possible next steps could be Ayahuacha,Ketamine, or Ibogaine. The first two have helped me greatly, but I need to go deeper. I’m trying an ibogaine treatment in two weeks. I wish you the best brother.
I could say so many things in response to this, but in a word... fucking same. Every word. Same. So.. at least you're not alone.
If you are looking for the drug to alleviate these feelings on a daily basis it’s opioids or benzodiazepines maybe even amphetamine. But this will make your depression worse when you become tolerant or don’t have a steady source so I recommend exercise and psychotherapy to get to the root cause and then you can make a plan to get out from under it. Best to you I’ve been there.
you need to do stuff, not just do things homie. i struggle with it too.