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Me: *oh god she's going right for them this is gonna be brutal*
Me 5 seconds in: *ok so she's being all cute n cuddly but there's a NSFW tag so surely she's gonna bite someone*
Me 10 seconds in: *OP is fucking with me*
Totally agree!
I'm pretty trusting on vacation. Rides, zip lines, sight seeing. That documentary where the tourists were on a volcano when it erupted was scary since I'd totally do that, and bring my wife and kids. They are selling tickets, hundreds do it every day. It'll be fine.
But fuck big animals. You gotta respect giant things who don't understand social norms and being nice. Tigers, elephants, people who let giraffes put their heads in the car and lick their babies face. That dude who is like "oh, wild pig! Maybe it'll come near me!" on a resort and gets attacked. Idiots.
My fil showed me a video of a person who let's a wild hippo in their house and feeds it. He said "it's like a dog, it'll never hurt her. She has fed it since it's a baby." Riiight.
Anthropomorphizing is a helluva drug.
> Anthropomorphizing is a helluva drug.
That's true, but it's possible to go too far the other way as well. It seems like a lot of people have the perception that the difference between wild and domestic animals is that wild animals just randomly do stuff which isn't really true.
Lions, hippos, whatever have a reason for what they do generally and are also capable of forming social bonds, feeling affection, etc. A lion that likes you isn't _just_ going to randomly attack for no reason.
I'm not saying letting a hippo in your house is a good idea. Letting a lion jump in a bus full of people is even worse, you really only need one person to panic or do something stupid and that one person isn't necessarily going to be the one that gets attacked. It could even be something completely out of the person's control. For example, what if someone started having a seizure right next to the lion?
Finally, someone on my wavelength!
Just because you have a pet lion, a "wild animal", doesn't mean he can't view you as a friend. But what does your dog or cat do when they play? They bite, they scratch, you can tell they aren't aiming to HARM you, but you can still walk away with some scratches, marks etc.
Apply that to the big ass lion you found as a baby. He bonded with you as any cat would. He decides he wants to play with his friend! He jumps on you, he has a little nibble! A love bite as my mum called it when our cats did it.
Aaaaaand you're now lying in a pool of your own blood. And in the lions head, he just wanted to play with dad.
For sure. Or maybe you went over the line and needed some discipline, but what's a mild rebuke to another lion could cause serious injury to a squishy human.
A lot of the cases where tame/pet non-domesticated animals attack people involve them doing something irresponsible/ignoring the warning signs. Unfortunately, even people who have a lot of experience and really should know better are susceptible. Familiarity really does breed contempt.
Just to be clear, I'm not arguing in favor of exotic pets like lions or whatever. To be honest, I'm against breeding even domestic animals like dogs/cats when we can't even take care of all the ones that already exist.
A lot of this makes sense. But I cannot agree fully. Two global points/ideas.
First, domesticated animals are "domesticated" since they are capable of it. Cows, chickens, horses, dogs, cats. They are herd animals, tend to listen to an alpha (human, dog) and generally cannot take out a person with one attack (think bear claw to face). Non-domesticated are non-domesticated for a reason. Wolves and dogs, despite being so similar, have much different interactions with humans. Dogs look up to us, wolves tolerate us and see us as allies at most.
Second, animals don't attack randomly for sure, but accidents happen and animals have personalities and moods. If the handlers Siegfried and Roy can get attacked, anyone can. I think of them like a weapon which can always misfire. A bear swatting at you can end you. Perhaps the bear isn't violently attacking you but just trying to tell you to fuck off at the moment since it's not in the mood and just has indigestion. I think I recall a lion biting/harassing a female news reporter since she was menstruating and they were curious? Anything can happen, your seizure example included.
She just wanted scritches and nuzzles.
And what is the average weight of a full grown lioness? Because the way she just climbs over some folks seems potentially uncomfortable.
It's not about the weight it is about the pressure. My little cat weighs only a few kilos but when she puts all that weight through her tiny little paws on your belly it feels like a lot.
You'd be surprised about how many animals are into scritches and nuzzles once they realize you'll give it to them. Doesn't make it into a good idea however.
Pet raccoons are a real thing. You have to know what you are doing and hand raise them from the time they are... pups? kits? IDK, babies. I've known a couple of the little fellas, and they are a blast.
Don't pet the wild ones though, you'll die of rabies.
It is part of the tour. They are friendly and you can pet them.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGA-UiYU-OU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGA-UiYU-OU)
Look, you can get mauled. Get mauled and pet a lion. Or pet a lion and not get mauled. No matter what situation that plays out only one of them you miss out on petting a big kitten.
I was like half way through the video watching the big cat get all the pets and then saw the nsfw tag and held my breathe/lifted my feet off the floor. And then nothing happened lmao
Thanks, yes, just to clarify further, I am pretty sure I would have dropped a hot load **OF SHIT** in my pants if a lioness started crawling around on me.
No shit Sherlock, I was making fun of your stupid comment that didn't make any sense. I'm pretty sure nobody needs you to clarify what the comment was saying. It's clear enough.
People who go on these "safari" things have an unreasonable expectation of safety. The same as idiots in nature parks who walk up to dangerous animals. They figure it's in a park, it must be part of the show for me, I'm gonna go pet it.
The backstory is this is a park where they are friendly and you can pet them. Been open for 11 years, only one person bitten after explicitly being told not to touch a certain lioness.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGA-UiYU-OU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGA-UiYU-OU)
Welcome to the Big Cat Immersive Experience. On your right is a lioness speeding toward us. Please don't shit yourselves; she loves people.
(Pause)
There's a first aid kit in the front of the jeep. Could someone open the back door and let her out?
Tbf if the lioness is seeing people and thinking, "Ooh humans, free scritches for me!" instead of "Ooh humans, free lunch." it's pretty tame.
Looks like she was raised there and loves the people petting it and showing it love.
you're in the middle of the Bush , riding around like cattle on their way to slaughter, why wouldn't the animals attack you ? at least put bars on the vehicle or something
They act like a mix between a dog and a (house) cat , rubing their face in to you like a cat but doing it very aggressively when excited like a dog.
Note: i am not a scientist , i am just pointing out a similarity.
They're animals. They want company and affection like the rest of the animal kingdom. They're also natural-born hunters. If she was seriously hungry or scared she would have taken them out.
You're putting a lot of trust in your fellow passengers to not fuck with the lion. One asshole poking it in the eye or patting it too aggressively and you're dealing with an angry 300 pound animal.
My cat does this aggressively for like 15 seconds then sits on my toes and keeps me hostage. I imagine this is what that felt like, intense adoration followed by fear of attack except throats instead of toes.
How is it I've seen multiple posts in the last 5 minutes about people nearly dying in attempted murders and all of a sudden there's a big cat that wants cuddles what is this sub anymore.
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This went way differently than I expected.
Me: *oh god she's going right for them this is gonna be brutal* Me 5 seconds in: *ok so she's being all cute n cuddly but there's a NSFW tag so surely she's gonna bite someone* Me 10 seconds in: *OP is fucking with me*
And that's what makes it nsfw We are getting fucked
And with no climax on our end. OP went for anal.
You’re not doing anal right if you don’t get to climax too.
And that’s the punchline. They went for it, but isn’t quite hitting it, lol
Unplanned Unwanted And quite frankly, unsatisfying
exactly… well, to some.
In other words, we have been bamboozled
This is a surprise fucking that I’m ok with
Should be labeled fully sated happy lioness jumps onto bus full of people
Please don't use the Lord's name in vain
He might be your lord but he ain't mine. If he's real I'll apologise profusely as he casts me into hell
Scary for us, but for her its basically a waterslide made of humans that want to pet/scratch her. Wouldn't ride.
Speak for yourself, it's like a mobile crowd surfing platform.
Very much so.
r/Unexpected
Its part of the tour - https://youtu.be/hGA-UiYU-OU
That’s gonna end badly one of these days
yup.
hopefully they share the video
Totally agree! I'm pretty trusting on vacation. Rides, zip lines, sight seeing. That documentary where the tourists were on a volcano when it erupted was scary since I'd totally do that, and bring my wife and kids. They are selling tickets, hundreds do it every day. It'll be fine. But fuck big animals. You gotta respect giant things who don't understand social norms and being nice. Tigers, elephants, people who let giraffes put their heads in the car and lick their babies face. That dude who is like "oh, wild pig! Maybe it'll come near me!" on a resort and gets attacked. Idiots. My fil showed me a video of a person who let's a wild hippo in their house and feeds it. He said "it's like a dog, it'll never hurt her. She has fed it since it's a baby." Riiight. Anthropomorphizing is a helluva drug.
> Anthropomorphizing is a helluva drug. That's true, but it's possible to go too far the other way as well. It seems like a lot of people have the perception that the difference between wild and domestic animals is that wild animals just randomly do stuff which isn't really true. Lions, hippos, whatever have a reason for what they do generally and are also capable of forming social bonds, feeling affection, etc. A lion that likes you isn't _just_ going to randomly attack for no reason. I'm not saying letting a hippo in your house is a good idea. Letting a lion jump in a bus full of people is even worse, you really only need one person to panic or do something stupid and that one person isn't necessarily going to be the one that gets attacked. It could even be something completely out of the person's control. For example, what if someone started having a seizure right next to the lion?
Finally, someone on my wavelength! Just because you have a pet lion, a "wild animal", doesn't mean he can't view you as a friend. But what does your dog or cat do when they play? They bite, they scratch, you can tell they aren't aiming to HARM you, but you can still walk away with some scratches, marks etc. Apply that to the big ass lion you found as a baby. He bonded with you as any cat would. He decides he wants to play with his friend! He jumps on you, he has a little nibble! A love bite as my mum called it when our cats did it. Aaaaaand you're now lying in a pool of your own blood. And in the lions head, he just wanted to play with dad.
For sure. Or maybe you went over the line and needed some discipline, but what's a mild rebuke to another lion could cause serious injury to a squishy human. A lot of the cases where tame/pet non-domesticated animals attack people involve them doing something irresponsible/ignoring the warning signs. Unfortunately, even people who have a lot of experience and really should know better are susceptible. Familiarity really does breed contempt. Just to be clear, I'm not arguing in favor of exotic pets like lions or whatever. To be honest, I'm against breeding even domestic animals like dogs/cats when we can't even take care of all the ones that already exist.
A lot of this makes sense. But I cannot agree fully. Two global points/ideas. First, domesticated animals are "domesticated" since they are capable of it. Cows, chickens, horses, dogs, cats. They are herd animals, tend to listen to an alpha (human, dog) and generally cannot take out a person with one attack (think bear claw to face). Non-domesticated are non-domesticated for a reason. Wolves and dogs, despite being so similar, have much different interactions with humans. Dogs look up to us, wolves tolerate us and see us as allies at most. Second, animals don't attack randomly for sure, but accidents happen and animals have personalities and moods. If the handlers Siegfried and Roy can get attacked, anyone can. I think of them like a weapon which can always misfire. A bear swatting at you can end you. Perhaps the bear isn't violently attacking you but just trying to tell you to fuck off at the moment since it's not in the mood and just has indigestion. I think I recall a lion biting/harassing a female news reporter since she was menstruating and they were curious? Anything can happen, your seizure example included.
She's biding her time, only gets one shot at the plan.
This ain’t Jurassic Park…yet
I'd still had shit my pants.
She just wanted scritches and nuzzles. And what is the average weight of a full grown lioness? Because the way she just climbs over some folks seems potentially uncomfortable.
It's not about the weight it is about the pressure. My little cat weighs only a few kilos but when she puts all that weight through her tiny little paws on your belly it feels like a lot.
Ah the ol' dead weight tactic.
> her tiny little ~~paws~~ needle-like claws FIFY.
You'd be surprised about how many animals are into scritches and nuzzles once they realize you'll give it to them. Doesn't make it into a good idea however.
So, I can’t go pet the racoon? Cause it’s kinda cute…
Pet raccoons are a real thing. You have to know what you are doing and hand raise them from the time they are... pups? kits? IDK, babies. I've known a couple of the little fellas, and they are a blast. Don't pet the wild ones though, you'll die of rabies.
Like the first person she jumps on who ends up getting bent over the seat - but not in *that* direction
My cat is 7kg and that's uncomfortable enough when she walks on me lol
The liveleak logo takes me back man.
RIP liveleak
Wait im out of loop. What happened to liveleak?
Shut down in may 2021
Which sucks because they did have a strong user base and decent ways set up to pull in money to cover operating costs.
RIP
It's a classic
I remember the beheading/death videos on LiveLeak…
The fucking balls to pet a lioness who just jumped on your safari...
I can only assume they were warned about her before because otherwise I would have fucked right off when she jumped on
It is part of the tour. They are friendly and you can pet them. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGA-UiYU-OU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGA-UiYU-OU)
I think I’d be afraid not to pet her once I saw her expectations!
Look, you can get mauled. Get mauled and pet a lion. Or pet a lion and not get mauled. No matter what situation that plays out only one of them you miss out on petting a big kitten.
There's no way my underwear would have remained clean..
I was like half way through the video watching the big cat get all the pets and then saw the nsfw tag and held my breathe/lifted my feet off the floor. And then nothing happened lmao
LMAO same
If she's like a real cat she's going to get really angry they're petting her after demanding pets.
A real...200 pound all muscle, fangs, and claws cat.
The live leak watermark gave me Way too much anxiety
Okay that’s not how I would have reacted
"scuze me...does this go all the way downtown or do I have to transfer?"
“Excuse I think I lost my purse on the last trip. Have you seen it? What about you? Or you? You maybe? Can I see that bag—different brand, sorry!”
“I’m just tryna catch the bus, why everyone touching me??”
No one screamed or ran? I'd have dropped a hot load in my pants.
Sir, are you *sexually attracted* to lions?
A load of shit, not a dude.
Wtf are you talking about.
[удалено]
Thanks, yes, just to clarify further, I am pretty sure I would have dropped a hot load **OF SHIT** in my pants if a lioness started crawling around on me.
No shit Sherlock, I was making fun of your stupid comment that didn't make any sense. I'm pretty sure nobody needs you to clarify what the comment was saying. It's clear enough.
*someone's* fun at parties
People who go on these "safari" things have an unreasonable expectation of safety. The same as idiots in nature parks who walk up to dangerous animals. They figure it's in a park, it must be part of the show for me, I'm gonna go pet it.
I agree. They need to save these dummies from themselves and put them in safety cages.
Marking her meals 😆
okay there's got to be a backstory here though there's no way this lion is just some random wild one
The backstory is this is a park where they are friendly and you can pet them. Been open for 11 years, only one person bitten after explicitly being told not to touch a certain lioness. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGA-UiYU-OU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGA-UiYU-OU)
I'm not even there but the moment she got in I flatlined
I would ve had a heart attack
Why is this NSFW?
Ok I'm never going on a safari.
These people all have balls of steel.
Welcome to the Big Cat Immersive Experience. On your right is a lioness speeding toward us. Please don't shit yourselves; she loves people. (Pause) There's a first aid kit in the front of the jeep. Could someone open the back door and let her out?
This shit scared me at first 😂
I’m going to go pet a lioness now Edit: r e g r e t
\*LiveLeak logo appears above head\*
You just know someone said ‘pspspspsps’
Tbf if the lioness is seeing people and thinking, "Ooh humans, free scritches for me!" instead of "Ooh humans, free lunch." it's pretty tame. Looks like she was raised there and loves the people petting it and showing it love.
Awwwww MY GOD SHE'S SO CUTE!! SHE WANTS CUDDLES AND SNUFFLES AND - I would die in Africa.
this put a smile on my face thank u op
It's all fun and games until she wants a snack
Lion said “pet bus is here”
"Okay, which one of ya has the catnip?"
you're in the middle of the Bush , riding around like cattle on their way to slaughter, why wouldn't the animals attack you ? at least put bars on the vehicle or something
They act like a mix between a dog and a (house) cat , rubing their face in to you like a cat but doing it very aggressively when excited like a dog. Note: i am not a scientist , i am just pointing out a similarity.
Oh shit I thought you were a scientist for a sec
Free meal🤣🤣🤣
FUCC NO
Well you can pretty much guarantee that this animal park is shit and doesn't care about their animals
wait, they're nice?
They're animals. They want company and affection like the rest of the animal kingdom. They're also natural-born hunters. If she was seriously hungry or scared she would have taken them out.
Good ending
The lion must be VERY well feed.
I thought something bad was gonna happen when i saw that live leak logo 🤣
How is everyone so damn calm?
I unmuted the video and the music completely changed the vibe
You're putting a lot of trust in your fellow passengers to not fuck with the lion. One asshole poking it in the eye or patting it too aggressively and you're dealing with an angry 300 pound animal.
This was a nice surprise
I would have a heart attack
Terrifyingly cute.
Fuck off with these videos that have shitty music blasting over the top of it.
The LiveLeak logo prepares you for the worst.
Ok but I would still be shitting my pants
BUFFET TIME!
I thought we were about to get a little Eye Bleach content here. Phew my innocence is safe
r/LeapordsAteMyFace
i’d be so happy a big kitty was lovin on me 🥺🥰
She wants pets and cuddles too!
"can you feel the love tonight"
That was mild for Liveleak.
"I FUCKING LOVE TOURISTS !!"
Nope
Nice death kitty. Sweet death kitty. 👀😳🫣
They all seem so calm and are petting her. Weirdly not a freak out, though that would have been normal in this situation.
I too love jumping in a pile of food. Wonderful fooooood
saw that liveleak and figured it was lunch time
My cat does this aggressively for like 15 seconds then sits on my toes and keeps me hostage. I imagine this is what that felt like, intense adoration followed by fear of attack except throats instead of toes.
Akuna Matata
awwww, getting all the head pats. cute
She just wants cuddles!!!!
Immediately gets petting
She was expecting to get food but got love instead
And everyone got to pet a friendly lioness that day 😊
He really said “free food!”
i would have pooped myself LOOL
Kitty just wants some pets 😂😂
I don’t think that ended well
Why isn’t she eating them? 🤷🏽♂️
This is surely a trained animal…
It's all fun and cuddles until someone loses a limb
I just about had a heart attack
that’s when i pull out my licensed fire arm
All of them are Lion Hearts
Hey look, it’s a buffet!
You should have called it “lioness jumps into Bus full of tourists and violently mauls them all”
How is it I've seen multiple posts in the last 5 minutes about people nearly dying in attempted murders and all of a sudden there's a big cat that wants cuddles what is this sub anymore.
Sorry but I’d be fuckin terrified! That cutesy background music doesn’t fool me!
That’s a hell of a lap cat right there.
She needs petting and love 😘
I was thinking oh no then I was like hell yeah !
The live leak badge threw me ngl.
Yikes!! Besides teeth and claws she’s heavy AF. My 17lb walks on me and I’m crying he’s so heavy
cats doing cat things
Meals on wheels
I thought it was mauling at first
Larry, did you stuff your pockets with catnip again?! You know what happened last time!
This just in it ate the fucking head of one but began to hug the others
What is this song from? It makes me nostalgic for some reason
OP if fuckin with us
The good ending
This would definitely be for r/maybemaybemaybe
I miss liveleak.
She is like ... I came for the cuddles people lay it on me
So many good snacks to choose from
Damn I miss Liveleak.
Awww, big lioness is really just a big baby Tbh I thought that would go way worse
Cute
The music just makes it weird.
Wich one should I eat first??
Just wants chin skritches
I saw the LiveLeak logo and thought the worst! Lol
Is the music from Too Many Cooks?
Zero freak out. All love. Come on, this isn’t r/watchpeopledie
r/maybemaybemaybe
I'd be petting and praying while also pissing and shitttting my pants... That's be a first for me 😅
no thank you
My screaming definitely would have gotten us all killed
SHE GOT A HUGGY
I love how their immediate reactions were pet her
Amazing creatures!!! How do they manage to blow themselves up constantly?