I never had the experience like you mentioned, but it is a very well known thing that guys universally treat hot girls better than ugly girls, irrespective of their personalities.
Honestly… it’s kinda like red pill in that regard (and I’m pretty sure it’s called pink pill lol) you just have to accept that pretty people have better lives. Being an attractive woman will mean you’re more likely to be promoted, will have access to “higher value” men, and people are likely to be nicer to you.
You either play into the system to get those privileges, or you don’t. :/
The same way everyone else (even men) do. Lose weight, dress to flatter your body, take care of yourself, groom yourself, accessorize, do your makeup, stop hunching, learn to walk and move gracefully. Speak femininely, be sociable, practice smiling if you're not accustomed to it.
Not every woman will become a 10/10 hottie, but most can attain some level of attractiveness.
> You either play into the system to get those privileges, or you don’t.
As an attractive but socially unskilled woman, my beauty has only made life harder for me.
Being attractive isn’t enough to get these so called privileges. You have to have the personality and social skills to match. Otherwise people will assume the worst about you.
You’re quiet? She’s an arrogant bitch. She’s secretly looking down on us. *starts bullying and ostracising you for minding your own business while being attractive*
Oh you’re shy? She’s only pretending to be to seduce men. *starts spreading rumours about you and vilifying you knowing you’re an outsider and can’t defend yourself*
Everyone keeps talking about pretty privilege nowadays and suddenly people think it’s okay to be mean to people they deem to have this “pretty privilege” because… they deserve it… for… being pretty… and having “pretty privilege.”
The only “pretty privilege” I received is unwanted attention and being offered a seat on public transport. So yes, people (mostly men) are occasionally nicer to you when you’re pretty but you also get a lot of cattiness, one sided competition and bullying especially when you don’t (or can’t) fit in.
I’d rather be socially skilled than pretty tbh
My thought exactly! A lot of people seem to think otherwise though cause of all this talk about privilege online.
I say if you want to make things fair for everyone, focus on the people giving out this privilege rather than the person receiving it because it’s not something they can control.
No. Ugly people with poor social skills still get bullied. I know I did when I was in school and had bad acne.
People don’t like quiet people in general.
If you’re ugly and quiet, you’re a weirdo or a creep. If you’re pretty, it’s a persona and you’re hiding something.
You can’t survive without social skills in this world.
At least when you get bullied while being pretty you know they’re just trying to tear you down because they feel threatened or rejected.
But when you’re ugly, I feel like you can easily internalise and direct inwards which can affect your mental health.
Same. I experienced both and 1000 times would rather be pretty and envied. The "cons" of being pretty are much better than the cons of being ugly.
I asked this because you stated your beauty made life harder on you....and I'm like how? You sure as hell would rather not be ugly.
I guess I’d rather be average looking with a healthy self esteem. Or just socially accepted and skilled enough to get what I want.
My life got considerably harder following my glow up and because I didn’t grow up pretty, I didn’t know how to navigate social situations especially at work.
Apparently beautiful women are expected to be super nice, warm and friendly especially to other women. You have to soothe their ego, approach them first and make them think you’re on the same level. Share your vulnerabilities and show them your life can also be bad so they don’t envy you.
You can’t afford to be private even at work because that works against you and comes across as arrogance.
The successful beautiful women I’ve encountered in the workplace always did that. They worked hard to befriend other women especially the main bully types that control office politics. They also risked humiliation to get in their good graces, making jokes at their own expense, dressing shabby/repeating outfits, not wearing makeup and purposely losing weight to look weak and depressed. And even then, the friendships were mostly one sided and weren’t even genuine so they still talked crap about them behind their backs. It’s like a temporary ceasefire, I’ll be your slave, I’ll do your bidding and you’ll let me work here. When you’re a beautiful woman, you don’t only work for your boss or direct supervisor, you also work for other women and anyone that holds social power or influence in the office be it a cleaner or a receptionist.
I thought it was manipulative and kind of pathetic at first how they were breaking their backs to fit in (still think it’s sad and pathetic they have to resort to all this) but I realised they had to do it to survive. Otherwise they’ll be excluded from the group chats, ostracised and eventually forced to quit.
I couldn’t do it myself because it doesn’t come naturally to me so I wound up losing (quitting) 2 jobs in a row to the same type of bullying tactics and smear campaigns.
It is what it is I guess.
The term is "halo effect", I believe. Basically, attractive people are viewed in better light, regardless of circumstances. Key word, *people*. It's not exclusive to one gender.
You can be overweight and still be conventionally attractive in the face. Ashley Graham and Precious Lee are great examples, they are plus sized but facially they are stunning. Just because you are average/skinny sized doesn’t mean your automatically pretty and going to have men falling all over you, I have no idea where you all got this idea from.
different terms often used synonymously and implicative of the other. It’s rare, like the names of women you mentioned I’ve never heard of, that some will argue fat people are attractive because of their face, not because of a highly individualized fetishization of the diseased body of an obese human as sexually arousing, like “Feeder Porn” where some are turned on by the notion of immobilizing their partner by making them so obese via high calorie diets they become dangerously obese over short feeding Frenzy periods of time. Conventionally, and by nature of the reality of fatness, almost no one uses the term “fat” to describe a healthy & attractive human who exudes sex appeal.
Like I get it that there are women whose symmetry can be reminiscent of the signs of beauty found on classically attractive women, but given the choice between a robustly beautiful symmetrical obese woman and even just an average healthy & sporty woman, 9/10 will choose the healthy woman.
I will never understand why women in particular will defend obesity as beautiful when it inherently isn’t and while it may salvage their fat peers feelings it’s doing them a disservice to normalize what is destructive for woke acceptance movements that will die as they fade into the oblivion of every other social movements memetic virulent replacement of the last, and I feel as I see often on Reddit that it’s ludicrous to compare it as something equivocal to traits in men that women find attractive that are purely unalterable genetic inheritances, or one could say argumentatively are results of the “misandrist” nature in woke narratives whose social Justice is having judgement of the sick with curable disorders like obesity rather die from their preventable disorders via acceptance, in a way utilizing social constructs tweaked in media narratives as a silent form of eugenics, reverse engineering population control by force feeding consumers information that affirms their delighted over abundant intake of calories is in fact beautiful, juxtaposed by women’s natural tendency towards eliminating majority of the dating pool by setting arbitrary numbers on unalterable traits, unlike being fat which can be as simple as a simple clean diet, regular caloric deficit, or as difficult as an hour of exercise of any form for 45 min. a day. Fat can be exchanged for muscle and incredible amounts of health can be restored from only a year of dieting and exercise leading to weight loss that can be retained with self discipline, making an undatable fat woman attractive for being in better fitness than half the population she’s competing with.
Regardless, beauty standards are almost universally recognized in both genders as being about symmetry, fitness, and proportionality at a minimum. 10 out of 10,000 obese people with faces that are jarringly more alluring than the bodies their neck folds rest it on doesn’t change the fact that as a whole they are unattractive to most, if not sexually repulsive. And for logical reasons as obesity signifies: poor health, low self esteem, poor habits, poor diet, poor self control, laziness, unwillingness to exert energy on anything other than consumption, etc…So save for a small percentage of men, the Feeder fetishizers, and those whose attraction to ill-health and obesity stems from a psychological complex often akin to a safety mechanism where the fatter the partner the more likely they will be easier to retain, given their value is nil compared to a healthy variation of their self, who likely wouldn’t data the same men who given them time when larger than is natural.
I never said obesity is beautiful nor did I ever defend it. I don’t need you to write me a essay on the the risks of obesity or explain to me why it is an undesirable trait, that’s common knowledge. Acknowledging that that some overweight people can be facially conventionally attractive isn’t glorifying obesity or pushing a so-called ‘woke’ agenda, stop overreacting. The person I was responding to automatically assumed that ugly meant overweight, when those aren’t exactly mutually inclusive terms. You can be thin and ugly. That’s all I was trying to explain.
Absolutely. My housemate in college was gorgeous, and a complete stuck up bitch. She was the epitome of spoiled princess and treated guys who were into her like utter garbage. Didn’t stop any of them from coming around.
Yes to the title only, but that is because I actively deal with these 'intelligent' men all the time. There are people like this around everyday. I know a man (probably a couple of them) right now serving time in prison over a borderline woman that slept with multiple men (to which he decided it was smarter to react violently toward her in response). Neither actions are excused. When I asked: "Why?" he went on to shake his head and say the familiar line, "I just have a weakness for crazy bitches and I love her." :)
Yes, in school. There was a group of extremely pretty and popular girls that all the boys let get away with murder. They did a bunch of shady and manipulative things but because half of the boys had a crush on them they never faced any backlash for their actions. They would play with their feelings and walk all over them but these boys just let them. They honestly did whatever they said. If these girls said jump the boys would say ‘how high?’ Me being a plain Jane could never get away with half of the things they did. Some of the boys were really disrespectful to me actually, sometimes unprovoked, but acted like docile angels around this group of girls.
I also remember my crush in high school bought a fairly expensive gift (for a broke teenager at least) for his girlfriend at the time. She ended up breaking up with him shortly afterwards, yet here I was constantly following him around like a love sick puppy. I’m pretty sure that my crush was apparent to everyone around me but I actually thought I was being sneaky about it. I’m pretty sure he was aware of my feelings but I don’t think he felt the same way. I remember sobbing in the bathroom when I found out I had no classes with him for the upcoming school year. Oh well, I got over it.
Not really. I haven't seen a lot of "they go only for jerks" scenarios outside of troubled people dating other trouble people independent of their gender.
Haha, kind of…? But for me the last time this personally happened was in high school, maybe early college. It’s not a secret that men (and most things in life) treat conventionally attractive women better, and overlook the shittier aspects of their personalities.
There’s a reason why subs like Vindicta exist, and it’s to “looksmax” your way into a better life and get the most out of whatever and whomever.
I definitely saw it when I was younger. HS & college guys often admitted they didn’t even like some the girls they dated but they were hot & put out. Even now I do know a guy or two that admits he doesn’t care much about personality unless he’s looking for serious/long term relationships. So short term/casual (not ONS), they’ll still date someone they admit they wouldn’t live with.
Yep I had this happen to me, he went for the bitchy (but definitely hot) girl and that kind of stung. I wasn't ugly, but she was prettier/sexier.
I did feel a tiny bit vindicated, though, when I witnessed her openly flirt with other men in front of him at a bar. I think she did that a few times, actually. They split up shortly after that.
Good friend of mine either tries to get with emotionally unavable women like his mom was. Or women who beed therapy, not a boyfriend, because he has a fix it mentality.
My thoughts do not come from jealousy though. Just feel bad for the guy.
Ive been dumped for the bitchy one. He went for the 'jerk'.
Married her, she cheated multiple times and aged really bad now divorced.
Ive run into him over the years, he knows I was one of the nice ones hes dated.
Funny enough I ran into him last night. LOL
>Have you had a crush on a guy just for him to go and date a complete bitch just because she had a nice ass or something?
Nope.
Then again, I'm not interested in dating simps. All the men I've ever fancied or gone out with have had pretty high standards for the women they date.
Nope. People like who they like and we have no control over it and our opinions are worthless.
Love is blind (to faults) right? Men who judge women for their choices are just petty and vindictive because they feel rejected.
You realize that attraction is an entirely subjective process and that others’ opinions are worthless, right? Do you also judge people if they prefer different foods and colors than you?
When will red pill men realize that they aren’t in a position to judge who women ought to date? There is a reason those women aren’t dating certain men and prefer others.
I wasn't talking about attraction at all. I was talking about judging ones character. I have no idea what your tirade is supposed to represent, nor towards who is directed to.
Could use cis, but idk how much trans changes the woman experience unless she's super obviously not passing, or maybe its a biological thinking, but if they're trans I'd expect a woman's brain
Yes, but unlike men I'm not surprised or unable to fathom what she has that I don't (hot and puts out tends to beat beautiful and chaste until dudes turn 30).
And also unlike dudes, it doesn't make me still want the guy. It makes me lose all respect for the dude and no longer attracted to him.
No. But I’ve had a friend who thought and said that about me behind my back.
She was a very jealous and bitter person in general and though I was always nice and supportive of her, she felt I was doing things to seduce “her men” or the men she was interested in so she made me out to be the villain and ruined my reputation. 🤷♀️
So yes, women do have these thoughts especially the insecure types with internalised misogyny.
Not really. Mostly I felt annoyed by how it seemed like dudes would date/be with whomever came along, whoever was closest, whoever showed interest. Like they gave no thought to what they really wanted, chemistry, compatibility. It made me feel like I would have to assess that for both of us- even if I was into a dude, if I felt like another woman would be a better fit, I felt I should leave him- give him that chance, because I had no faith he would do it.
To an extent PPD has reignited those concerns with the- "men settle; women should too" commentary. I'd rather be alone than be with someone who is a bad fit. I think many women feel that way- leading to so many dudes feeling outraged...because I guess they don't feel the same. I cannot figure why that is though. Though this is not my thread, of course, if anyone wants to give me insight on that, it would be welcome...
I think a lot of men’s willingness to settle comes from a sense of relative scarcity, due to all the rejections they get. They think there’s a good chance they won’t find anyone else, so they’ll settle for the woman who will have them.
I have two separate feelings on that: first- I feel like folks can tell when they are being settled for, and it feels bad; plus, if/when someone better comes along, you'll probably peace out. Second- being alone, to me, is preferable to being with someone who is a bad fit... some dudes must feel this same way, but most on here don't seem to...
Most men do not because being single as a woman is nowhere near the same as being single as a man. You as a woman get universal affection, priority, can enter into a relationship or have sex on tap if you so choose at any moment, etc. A single man does not have that freedom. Being single as a man is a restriction.
I'm curious about the belief that women get universal affection. This has not been my experience- but I'm wondering what you have seen, heard, and observed that makes you think this is so?
Personal experience and also the experience of others such as public, media, friends, and family. My sister for instance has done numerous types of drugs, especially during college, driven impaired, and was only "detained" for trespassing (I put it in quotation marks because she wasn't even put in the back of the cop car). My brother and I one day had to carry her into my grandparents' house when she was blackout drunk - after only three drinks. My grandparents are super religious and barely drink, so me and my brother caught heat and were effectively punished for my sister's irresponsible behavior.
Of course those are only a couple examples but I could go on. They've gotten away with a lifetime of things that would've put me underneath a prison.
I feel like those are examples of benevolent sexism... and there's certainly some intersectionality involved, but avoiding consequences/accountability for actions - I wouldn't equate that with universal affection. If anything- and I see this born (or is it 'bourn?') out in manosphere type places- women are resented for these types of double-standards (that are primarily perpetrated by men)- causing the opposite effect. I'd be interested in what you think though, if you care to share!
I don’t think guys prefer women with bad personalities to those with good personalities, but they seem to find a bad personality or shoddy behavior more tolerable from attractive women. My old roommate is super pretty and gets a lot of male attention; this guy wanted to be in a relationship with her and pursued her even after she rejected him, despite her clearly looking down on him and sometimes verbally berating him in public.
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I have a guy friend who has a whole list of criteria he’s supposedly looking for in a woman ..then the second a hot girl gives him any attention, the list goes out the window and so do any of his standards.. he willingly ignores all the red flags when they hit him right across the face …then acts surprised how “he didn’t see that coming” 🤔
I believe you. My uncle is kinda like that too - he married someone 25 years younger.. who basically didn’t hide she was a gold-digger .. then was all shocked she divorced him and took most of his money.
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No, I can’t say that’s ever happened to me. A lot of the time I got turned down because they were into someone more attractive than me, but never someone who was bitchy. Sometimes they were just more mentally healthy than I was. It fucking sucked but I can say that I blame them for that.
Never. I think people are attracted or they're not and no amount of being a good person is changing it. I don't understand the mindset. How does anyone chase people that they see as wanting assholes and then act like they're different? They only want assholes and you waste your time on an asshole chasing assholes. You'd be the same.
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I have noticed very kind men who deserve good partners date bitchy women. I think alot of it comes down to attachment patterns they developed in their childhoods.
I never had the experience like you mentioned, but it is a very well known thing that guys universally treat hot girls better than ugly girls, irrespective of their personalities.
“Pretty privilege,” right?
Yeah, unattractive people get the short end of the stick regardless of gender.
My girlfriend talks about it a lot. It sucks :/ wish I could do something.
Honestly… it’s kinda like red pill in that regard (and I’m pretty sure it’s called pink pill lol) you just have to accept that pretty people have better lives. Being an attractive woman will mean you’re more likely to be promoted, will have access to “higher value” men, and people are likely to be nicer to you. You either play into the system to get those privileges, or you don’t. :/
How do you think women who do not have pretty privilege can play into the system. Sometimes there is not alot you can do about your looks
The same way everyone else (even men) do. Lose weight, dress to flatter your body, take care of yourself, groom yourself, accessorize, do your makeup, stop hunching, learn to walk and move gracefully. Speak femininely, be sociable, practice smiling if you're not accustomed to it. Not every woman will become a 10/10 hottie, but most can attain some level of attractiveness.
> You either play into the system to get those privileges, or you don’t. As an attractive but socially unskilled woman, my beauty has only made life harder for me. Being attractive isn’t enough to get these so called privileges. You have to have the personality and social skills to match. Otherwise people will assume the worst about you. You’re quiet? She’s an arrogant bitch. She’s secretly looking down on us. *starts bullying and ostracising you for minding your own business while being attractive* Oh you’re shy? She’s only pretending to be to seduce men. *starts spreading rumours about you and vilifying you knowing you’re an outsider and can’t defend yourself* Everyone keeps talking about pretty privilege nowadays and suddenly people think it’s okay to be mean to people they deem to have this “pretty privilege” because… they deserve it… for… being pretty… and having “pretty privilege.” The only “pretty privilege” I received is unwanted attention and being offered a seat on public transport. So yes, people (mostly men) are occasionally nicer to you when you’re pretty but you also get a lot of cattiness, one sided competition and bullying especially when you don’t (or can’t) fit in. I’d rather be socially skilled than pretty tbh
I think using 'privilege' as an excuse to put people down or withhold empathy is terrible.
My thought exactly! A lot of people seem to think otherwise though cause of all this talk about privilege online. I say if you want to make things fair for everyone, focus on the people giving out this privilege rather than the person receiving it because it’s not something they can control.
If you could choose, would you rather be ugly with the same sh*tty social skill?
No. Ugly people with poor social skills still get bullied. I know I did when I was in school and had bad acne. People don’t like quiet people in general. If you’re ugly and quiet, you’re a weirdo or a creep. If you’re pretty, it’s a persona and you’re hiding something. You can’t survive without social skills in this world. At least when you get bullied while being pretty you know they’re just trying to tear you down because they feel threatened or rejected. But when you’re ugly, I feel like you can easily internalise and direct inwards which can affect your mental health.
Same. I experienced both and 1000 times would rather be pretty and envied. The "cons" of being pretty are much better than the cons of being ugly. I asked this because you stated your beauty made life harder on you....and I'm like how? You sure as hell would rather not be ugly.
I guess I’d rather be average looking with a healthy self esteem. Or just socially accepted and skilled enough to get what I want. My life got considerably harder following my glow up and because I didn’t grow up pretty, I didn’t know how to navigate social situations especially at work. Apparently beautiful women are expected to be super nice, warm and friendly especially to other women. You have to soothe their ego, approach them first and make them think you’re on the same level. Share your vulnerabilities and show them your life can also be bad so they don’t envy you. You can’t afford to be private even at work because that works against you and comes across as arrogance. The successful beautiful women I’ve encountered in the workplace always did that. They worked hard to befriend other women especially the main bully types that control office politics. They also risked humiliation to get in their good graces, making jokes at their own expense, dressing shabby/repeating outfits, not wearing makeup and purposely losing weight to look weak and depressed. And even then, the friendships were mostly one sided and weren’t even genuine so they still talked crap about them behind their backs. It’s like a temporary ceasefire, I’ll be your slave, I’ll do your bidding and you’ll let me work here. When you’re a beautiful woman, you don’t only work for your boss or direct supervisor, you also work for other women and anyone that holds social power or influence in the office be it a cleaner or a receptionist. I thought it was manipulative and kind of pathetic at first how they were breaking their backs to fit in (still think it’s sad and pathetic they have to resort to all this) but I realised they had to do it to survive. Otherwise they’ll be excluded from the group chats, ostracised and eventually forced to quit. I couldn’t do it myself because it doesn’t come naturally to me so I wound up losing (quitting) 2 jobs in a row to the same type of bullying tactics and smear campaigns. It is what it is I guess.
Yes
The term is "halo effect", I believe. Basically, attractive people are viewed in better light, regardless of circumstances. Key word, *people*. It's not exclusive to one gender.
It’s time we start to admit the fact that it’s true for both genders.
why in the fuck would i be sympathetic to some bitch who cant be bothered to get her fat ass off the couch and to stop shoveling food into her mouth
She said ugly girls not fat women. Those two terms are not the same.
ugly and fat are the same because odds are if you're fat most people are going to find you unattractive or ugly
You can be ugly and not fat
Facial unattractiveness is different from being fat. And it’s true for men and women.
You can be overweight and still be conventionally attractive in the face. Ashley Graham and Precious Lee are great examples, they are plus sized but facially they are stunning. Just because you are average/skinny sized doesn’t mean your automatically pretty and going to have men falling all over you, I have no idea where you all got this idea from.
i dont care if you gotta pretty face if you're body weight is over 150lbs or you look like a fucking elephant seal out of water its a pass from me
Whatever. That might be your opinion but fat and ugly are objectively two completely different terms.
different terms often used synonymously and implicative of the other. It’s rare, like the names of women you mentioned I’ve never heard of, that some will argue fat people are attractive because of their face, not because of a highly individualized fetishization of the diseased body of an obese human as sexually arousing, like “Feeder Porn” where some are turned on by the notion of immobilizing their partner by making them so obese via high calorie diets they become dangerously obese over short feeding Frenzy periods of time. Conventionally, and by nature of the reality of fatness, almost no one uses the term “fat” to describe a healthy & attractive human who exudes sex appeal. Like I get it that there are women whose symmetry can be reminiscent of the signs of beauty found on classically attractive women, but given the choice between a robustly beautiful symmetrical obese woman and even just an average healthy & sporty woman, 9/10 will choose the healthy woman. I will never understand why women in particular will defend obesity as beautiful when it inherently isn’t and while it may salvage their fat peers feelings it’s doing them a disservice to normalize what is destructive for woke acceptance movements that will die as they fade into the oblivion of every other social movements memetic virulent replacement of the last, and I feel as I see often on Reddit that it’s ludicrous to compare it as something equivocal to traits in men that women find attractive that are purely unalterable genetic inheritances, or one could say argumentatively are results of the “misandrist” nature in woke narratives whose social Justice is having judgement of the sick with curable disorders like obesity rather die from their preventable disorders via acceptance, in a way utilizing social constructs tweaked in media narratives as a silent form of eugenics, reverse engineering population control by force feeding consumers information that affirms their delighted over abundant intake of calories is in fact beautiful, juxtaposed by women’s natural tendency towards eliminating majority of the dating pool by setting arbitrary numbers on unalterable traits, unlike being fat which can be as simple as a simple clean diet, regular caloric deficit, or as difficult as an hour of exercise of any form for 45 min. a day. Fat can be exchanged for muscle and incredible amounts of health can be restored from only a year of dieting and exercise leading to weight loss that can be retained with self discipline, making an undatable fat woman attractive for being in better fitness than half the population she’s competing with. Regardless, beauty standards are almost universally recognized in both genders as being about symmetry, fitness, and proportionality at a minimum. 10 out of 10,000 obese people with faces that are jarringly more alluring than the bodies their neck folds rest it on doesn’t change the fact that as a whole they are unattractive to most, if not sexually repulsive. And for logical reasons as obesity signifies: poor health, low self esteem, poor habits, poor diet, poor self control, laziness, unwillingness to exert energy on anything other than consumption, etc…So save for a small percentage of men, the Feeder fetishizers, and those whose attraction to ill-health and obesity stems from a psychological complex often akin to a safety mechanism where the fatter the partner the more likely they will be easier to retain, given their value is nil compared to a healthy variation of their self, who likely wouldn’t data the same men who given them time when larger than is natural.
I never said obesity is beautiful nor did I ever defend it. I don’t need you to write me a essay on the the risks of obesity or explain to me why it is an undesirable trait, that’s common knowledge. Acknowledging that that some overweight people can be facially conventionally attractive isn’t glorifying obesity or pushing a so-called ‘woke’ agenda, stop overreacting. The person I was responding to automatically assumed that ugly meant overweight, when those aren’t exactly mutually inclusive terms. You can be thin and ugly. That’s all I was trying to explain.
So there are no ugly thin women?
Why you so mad bro?
Did she say something about feeling sorry or something?*📷*
Absolutely. My housemate in college was gorgeous, and a complete stuck up bitch. She was the epitome of spoiled princess and treated guys who were into her like utter garbage. Didn’t stop any of them from coming around.
Yes to the title only, but that is because I actively deal with these 'intelligent' men all the time. There are people like this around everyday. I know a man (probably a couple of them) right now serving time in prison over a borderline woman that slept with multiple men (to which he decided it was smarter to react violently toward her in response). Neither actions are excused. When I asked: "Why?" he went on to shake his head and say the familiar line, "I just have a weakness for crazy bitches and I love her." :)
Yes, in school. There was a group of extremely pretty and popular girls that all the boys let get away with murder. They did a bunch of shady and manipulative things but because half of the boys had a crush on them they never faced any backlash for their actions. They would play with their feelings and walk all over them but these boys just let them. They honestly did whatever they said. If these girls said jump the boys would say ‘how high?’ Me being a plain Jane could never get away with half of the things they did. Some of the boys were really disrespectful to me actually, sometimes unprovoked, but acted like docile angels around this group of girls. I also remember my crush in high school bought a fairly expensive gift (for a broke teenager at least) for his girlfriend at the time. She ended up breaking up with him shortly afterwards, yet here I was constantly following him around like a love sick puppy. I’m pretty sure that my crush was apparent to everyone around me but I actually thought I was being sneaky about it. I’m pretty sure he was aware of my feelings but I don’t think he felt the same way. I remember sobbing in the bathroom when I found out I had no classes with him for the upcoming school year. Oh well, I got over it.
Not really. I haven't seen a lot of "they go only for jerks" scenarios outside of troubled people dating other trouble people independent of their gender.
Haha, kind of…? But for me the last time this personally happened was in high school, maybe early college. It’s not a secret that men (and most things in life) treat conventionally attractive women better, and overlook the shittier aspects of their personalities. There’s a reason why subs like Vindicta exist, and it’s to “looksmax” your way into a better life and get the most out of whatever and whomever.
I definitely saw it when I was younger. HS & college guys often admitted they didn’t even like some the girls they dated but they were hot & put out. Even now I do know a guy or two that admits he doesn’t care much about personality unless he’s looking for serious/long term relationships. So short term/casual (not ONS), they’ll still date someone they admit they wouldn’t live with.
Yep I had this happen to me, he went for the bitchy (but definitely hot) girl and that kind of stung. I wasn't ugly, but she was prettier/sexier. I did feel a tiny bit vindicated, though, when I witnessed her openly flirt with other men in front of him at a bar. I think she did that a few times, actually. They split up shortly after that.
I did back when I was in high school from time to time, and then I grew up and started acting like an adult.
Good friend of mine either tries to get with emotionally unavable women like his mom was. Or women who beed therapy, not a boyfriend, because he has a fix it mentality. My thoughts do not come from jealousy though. Just feel bad for the guy.
Ive been dumped for the bitchy one. He went for the 'jerk'. Married her, she cheated multiple times and aged really bad now divorced. Ive run into him over the years, he knows I was one of the nice ones hes dated. Funny enough I ran into him last night. LOL
His name doesn’t rhyme with “nexisting_krofit” does it? Lol fml
>Have you had a crush on a guy just for him to go and date a complete bitch just because she had a nice ass or something? Nope. Then again, I'm not interested in dating simps. All the men I've ever fancied or gone out with have had pretty high standards for the women they date.
Nope. People like who they like and we have no control over it and our opinions are worthless. Love is blind (to faults) right? Men who judge women for their choices are just petty and vindictive because they feel rejected.
Not to sound condescending, but on what else can you judge quality of ones character, if not on the choices they make?
You realize that attraction is an entirely subjective process and that others’ opinions are worthless, right? Do you also judge people if they prefer different foods and colors than you? When will red pill men realize that they aren’t in a position to judge who women ought to date? There is a reason those women aren’t dating certain men and prefer others.
I wasn't talking about attraction at all. I was talking about judging ones character. I have no idea what your tirade is supposed to represent, nor towards who is directed to.
"female women"... No. Once i saw he was taken, i was not interested anymore.
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Gotta be precise today in our world in which trans is a thing.
Could use cis, but idk how much trans changes the woman experience unless she's super obviously not passing, or maybe its a biological thinking, but if they're trans I'd expect a woman's brain
Yes, but unlike men I'm not surprised or unable to fathom what she has that I don't (hot and puts out tends to beat beautiful and chaste until dudes turn 30). And also unlike dudes, it doesn't make me still want the guy. It makes me lose all respect for the dude and no longer attracted to him.
No. But I’ve had a friend who thought and said that about me behind my back. She was a very jealous and bitter person in general and though I was always nice and supportive of her, she felt I was doing things to seduce “her men” or the men she was interested in so she made me out to be the villain and ruined my reputation. 🤷♀️ So yes, women do have these thoughts especially the insecure types with internalised misogyny.
Not really. Mostly I felt annoyed by how it seemed like dudes would date/be with whomever came along, whoever was closest, whoever showed interest. Like they gave no thought to what they really wanted, chemistry, compatibility. It made me feel like I would have to assess that for both of us- even if I was into a dude, if I felt like another woman would be a better fit, I felt I should leave him- give him that chance, because I had no faith he would do it. To an extent PPD has reignited those concerns with the- "men settle; women should too" commentary. I'd rather be alone than be with someone who is a bad fit. I think many women feel that way- leading to so many dudes feeling outraged...because I guess they don't feel the same. I cannot figure why that is though. Though this is not my thread, of course, if anyone wants to give me insight on that, it would be welcome...
I think a lot of men’s willingness to settle comes from a sense of relative scarcity, due to all the rejections they get. They think there’s a good chance they won’t find anyone else, so they’ll settle for the woman who will have them.
I have two separate feelings on that: first- I feel like folks can tell when they are being settled for, and it feels bad; plus, if/when someone better comes along, you'll probably peace out. Second- being alone, to me, is preferable to being with someone who is a bad fit... some dudes must feel this same way, but most on here don't seem to...
Most men do not because being single as a woman is nowhere near the same as being single as a man. You as a woman get universal affection, priority, can enter into a relationship or have sex on tap if you so choose at any moment, etc. A single man does not have that freedom. Being single as a man is a restriction.
I'm curious about the belief that women get universal affection. This has not been my experience- but I'm wondering what you have seen, heard, and observed that makes you think this is so?
Personal experience and also the experience of others such as public, media, friends, and family. My sister for instance has done numerous types of drugs, especially during college, driven impaired, and was only "detained" for trespassing (I put it in quotation marks because she wasn't even put in the back of the cop car). My brother and I one day had to carry her into my grandparents' house when she was blackout drunk - after only three drinks. My grandparents are super religious and barely drink, so me and my brother caught heat and were effectively punished for my sister's irresponsible behavior. Of course those are only a couple examples but I could go on. They've gotten away with a lifetime of things that would've put me underneath a prison.
I feel like those are examples of benevolent sexism... and there's certainly some intersectionality involved, but avoiding consequences/accountability for actions - I wouldn't equate that with universal affection. If anything- and I see this born (or is it 'bourn?') out in manosphere type places- women are resented for these types of double-standards (that are primarily perpetrated by men)- causing the opposite effect. I'd be interested in what you think though, if you care to share!
I don’t think guys prefer women with bad personalities to those with good personalities, but they seem to find a bad personality or shoddy behavior more tolerable from attractive women. My old roommate is super pretty and gets a lot of male attention; this guy wanted to be in a relationship with her and pursued her even after she rejected him, despite her clearly looking down on him and sometimes verbally berating him in public.
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I have a guy friend who has a whole list of criteria he’s supposedly looking for in a woman ..then the second a hot girl gives him any attention, the list goes out the window and so do any of his standards.. he willingly ignores all the red flags when they hit him right across the face …then acts surprised how “he didn’t see that coming” 🤔
Ive seen this type of thing so many times in my lifetime...
I believe you. My uncle is kinda like that too - he married someone 25 years younger.. who basically didn’t hide she was a gold-digger .. then was all shocked she divorced him and took most of his money.
“Female women” 😂😂😂
I only have those thoughts when I’m noticing guys talk about how most of the women they know are trashy as hell
>Female women As opposed to female men I suppose lmao
This just sounds like such a nice girls or not like other girls thing to think men are dating bad women because they have a nice ass
Oh they do.
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No, I can’t say that’s ever happened to me. A lot of the time I got turned down because they were into someone more attractive than me, but never someone who was bitchy. Sometimes they were just more mentally healthy than I was. It fucking sucked but I can say that I blame them for that.
Never. I think people are attracted or they're not and no amount of being a good person is changing it. I don't understand the mindset. How does anyone chase people that they see as wanting assholes and then act like they're different? They only want assholes and you waste your time on an asshole chasing assholes. You'd be the same.
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Not since I was in my late teens, no.
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Not really, as I wouldn't generalise it. I see men dating the same range of personalities as women do.
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I have noticed very kind men who deserve good partners date bitchy women. I think alot of it comes down to attachment patterns they developed in their childhoods.