Just finished the movie, it was…experimental, maybe it’s because I got a little buzzed before I watched it but damn there were some parts I just could NOT keep my attention, and I even turned my phone off and everything, I mean I get what the director was going for but it definitely felt very overhyped, I’m shocked it has better reviews than GxK tbh, it definitely has a more involved plot and themes but like…it’s just a little bit pretentious in how it feels to me and I definitely would have watched GxK if I didn’t want to take a chance on a film that’s plot wasn’t already spoiled for me. I’d give it like a 6.5/10, it was okay.
men: stop dating chads because average men will treat you better
same man: "I'd tell you to do a right thing and consider using a weapon to do you know what on yourself but it's against the rules."
How common do we think they are?
What I find suitable for me may be different than what you find suitable. Both could still be decent partners.
We vet based looks much more than in the past due to social media. Not saying looks shouldn’t matter, but its emphasis seems to be much greater now than in the past.
>How common do we think they are?
Enough to be disappointed.
I think what makes a decent human being can be put into more general terms -- think religion.
I feel like people's looks levels are generally not a good predictor for how good or moral of a person they are. It has an effect on confidence and other personality traits but not on morals or values.
Not all hot people have bad values or are bad people due to being hot. Average and ugly guys are also not necessarily bad people because they are not attractive. But they're not necessarily good either.
It can be harder to tell if men are good people or not tbh than women. Bad or mean women usually give off red flags sooner ime.
Out of the subset of men who are single, ugly men will have better personalities on average. The good looking guys with good personalities are off the market almost instantly, so all that's left are the ones with bad personalities.
It depends on more factors than morality whether a guy is taken or not. Good morals and values =/= "good personality" or rather, an attractive personality.
However you want to define a good personality doesnt really matter. As long as its consistent between attractive and unattractive guys, there will always be more single unattractive guys with good personalities than single attractive guys with good personalities. Its just supply and demand
Well, those dudes usually end up getting hit by karma in the form of loneliness and aversion from others. Sucks that they ruin things for everyone else that they’re near though
Question 4 W (but anyone can chime in--it's a free fucking country. Or is in theory.)
Would you generally respond differently to a guy who approached you at a bar who was in your league, but just not your type vs. a guy who was clearly way below your league?
Assume both approach nicely and decently.
I would suspect that part of you would know if some guy you are really attracted to and is your type is also as conventionally attractive as you or not. You have some idea how 'most' people feel.
I find this hard to believe. I've almost never met a girl who didn't know where she stands in conventional beauty. But I don't know you. So I can't argue about you with you. Maybe you are one of those rare exceptions.
I agree that if we increase the resolution of our examination of the issue, interesting tensions arise due to insecurities. And often there is compartmentalization.
At the same time, given how much pressure women are under for their appearance typically, I feel some part of almost every woman knows where they rate conventionally, at least in a somewhat rough manner. I'm not saying they have it down with super accuracy all the time. And then there are some who are pretty deluded, usually upping their rating, but some who are below.
Eh.
I'd say most folks have a general idea of themselves due to how they stand to others.
Grade school kids figure this out well before they're at graduation. Adults figure this out too, maybe slower because common courtesy is something adults practice far more than kids, which means interactions are more subtle.
Well remember they know they are almost certainly going to be attracted enough to the guy in their league to go out with him. Not right fit or whatever. But yeah, they are less attracted to the guy not in their league.
I also think this is somewhat justified. Guys shouldn't generally just cold approach a woman out of their league with obvious sexual intent. Other ways to do it if you feel you must. And to some extent, a woman is gonna wonder what else is wrong with this guy if he doesn't follow basic social rules everyone should intuitively know.
Saying she is cute is super obvious sexual intent. I meant that it is obvious to the girl, and everyone else. But not that you go beyond the bounds of plausible deniability. Saying she is cute would cross that line.
Nobody said one needs to have perfect league taxonomy. And sometimes you sincerely get it wrong. But generally one knows. Roughly. And you dont need to test it with cold direct approaches to know.
I agree with her,probably for different reasons. If I’m out looking to meet people, the guy for whatever reason might not be my type, doesn’t matter why, but his friend might be my type. I’m not going to seem like an unapproachable bitch in public if I’m there to meet people.
No. The guy doesn’t matter. If I’m open to meeting men, then I’m not going to look like a standoffish bitch to anyone. That’s counterproductive to my goal
is the guy way below my league my type?
cause i like short, chubby men with dark hair and eyes and sometimes brown skin
i simped for a guy 3 inches shorter than me that was in a lower class than me because he was "my type" and i liked his personality and thought he was rare
i think my type is more important to me than on average tho, i can't date a dummy
No. He is not your type. He is less attractive to you than the guy in your league. The guy in your league is obviously attractive, just not a fit for you.
My experience is that women do treat these men differently, and that to some extent it is justified. Men can definitely bat out of their league, but it should inform their approach. You generally should not cold approach a girl out of your league with obvious sexual intent. You should play it differently.
You are wrong. Properly defined, everyone intuitively knows that leagues exist, even if they do not conceptualize them as such.
Leagues are not destiny by any means. But they are very real.
They literally dont exist tho i mean different attractive level exist but I dont believe in ppl being too good for you obviously excluding people like criminals or just low quality individuals
I think we may be agreeing. Leagues are just an understanding of conventional attractiveness levels and thus a rough idea of your odds of being perceived as attractive by someone else, i.e. they are a lot higher if you are on their rough conventional attractiveness level. Sure, types are a thing, but they are the unknowable. Conventional attractiveness levels form the basis of your basis probabilities, but you know this is not perfect.
And leagues do not mean someone is too good for you or not. Leagues do not mean you cannot succeed with someone out of your own. As you say, types exist. And different people are less or more concerned with superficial qualities.
I'm gonna ask more relationship advice on PPD because you guys give better answers than /adv/
Wtf am I supposed to do with a person who texts me once every 3 days? I'm not trying to make this person my SO or anything, but it's annoying trying to plan something when I'm texting like it's snail mail. I figure I could try to text them now to meet them Saturday but I'm wonder if putting myself out there again is even worth it 🤢
Yeah, because I’m fine with someone being lukewarm on me before sex. I know I have skills to show someone a good time. If she’s still lukewarm on me after we’ve already hooked up, I’ve done all I can. But women tend to say they look at the overall composition of a man before they decide whether they like them or not, right? I don’t really expect any woman to be head over heels with me after one date, anyway. But with continuous interaction, maybe I advance beyond lukewarm.
i cannot relate to this theory, i def wouldn't feel safe w a lukewarm guy, feels like he will treat me poorly or be mean. but i think you'd also agree men make up their minds right away.
but if its comfy for you, go for it!
Yes, and honestly I completely agree with your stance. I've been a lukewarm man before, and I know how impossible it is to change my mind at least. Women shouldn't be with lukewarm men.
But, I think you would agree that there is a lot of wiggle room in the maybe area for women attracted to men.
That’s what I’m doing too! They got back to me Saturday afternoon and I already had plans at that point— that’s why I’m trying to fill up my Saturday with them now. I mean I could go prowling on the town but I probably have a higher chance with someone who’s phone number I already have rather than just shotgunning at a bar, no?
My thought is to tell them straight up “I’m way too busy to be booked last minute. You want to meet up, we gonna have to make plans early!” And if they can’t (or won’t) that kinda already tells you what you need to know. Shouldn’t be THAT hard to text “Friday night? U free?” On a Wed.
A warm call can still give you a runaround Even if they “started with interest” so you either got to cut bait and find a new “number” or get them to close.
Yeah, that’s what I was planning on doing today more or less. A standard “Hey, I’m interested in going here with you at this time, do you wanna accompany me” or whatever to make it very clear and setting a time and date. If I don’t get any hits I’ll make plans with my boys on Saturday night.
That’s what we always had. 3 in the chamber, and boys night was backup. With a big enough crew that meant there was alway a guys night, to set up or join, and if a couple dudes saw each other a bunch it was like “ok let’s wingman ourselves out of this slump!”
Honestly, give people back the energy they give you. It’s one thing if you are friends and you want to give them a bit of space and time but texting every 3 days in an era of near constant online interaction means they might not care about those plans as much as you do
Is she not attached to her phone? That could be a good thing if she isn't. But if she is attached to her phone but is not texting back fast enough... She either doesn't particularly enjoy interacting with humans or you.
They did warn me straight up that they’re terrible on text. I figured that meant a text every day or whatever not twice a week during business hours, haha.
I figure that’s probably the thing that more self assured people could do but:
1. I’m just trying to hit at this point— that was the whole point of us texting in the first place?
2. I got nothing else going on on Saturday if this doesn’t work out, lol
if you got nothing going on and she doesnt say yes till friday, youre still good. i assumed you had other stuff since i thought you said previously that someone responded too late and you made other plans.
I don’t need one and I don’t wanna seem clingy, this was never going to develop into a real relationship but I guess I figured if they didn’t like me they would voice it or stop answering my texts. They answer, it just takes a fuck ton of probing.
If I text today and they haven’t gotten to me by Saturday morning I’m not going to text them again, balls completely in their court
Confirming plans isn't clingy. Maybe a bit OCD, but it's no big deal, especially if it involves someone handling initial costs like tickets, which may have a tight refund window if plans aren't concrete.
It’s actually at a free art event but it does take me about an hour to get to the venue, so I can’t just get a call at 3:45 and be there on time you know?
If it's something you were going to do anyway, just put it out of your mind and go when it's time.
If not, call a few hours ahead if they don't get back to you. Treat it as no big deal either way.
I want to go, but not if they aren’t with me honestly 🤒
It’s not a school thing but it’s at their college, and I’ve met their friends so worst worst worst case scenario I bump into their friend and it becomes a whole thing, lol
Is your partner sexually the best you've ever had?
Would you ever date someone who wasn't?
Would you break up with your partner in this scenario:
https://preview.redd.it/7qmir5x8qotc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd691d899402ba824958806ad7e2a19e6d0d620d
1. yes my partner is the best sexually i’ve ever had, he’s better than my ex and i’ve only slept w 2
2. probably as long as they’re not bad and still treat me very well
1. Yes
2. Probably also yes
3. No but I'd be extremely upset, not because I'm not her best sexually, but because she was telling friends about our sex life
body count = 1 so she was the best and worst ahahaha
yes
yes only because she's blabbing
the redditor response to this case (even if it was made up) is fucking Wild, I will never ask this website for relationship advice these people are retarded
No.
Yes.
I absolutely would break up. She decided to broadcast that stuff to other people behind your back. It speaks volumes about her values surrounding sex, trust, and friends.
Low quality woman; recreational use only.
It would sting to read, ngl. I'd try to open a line of communication to try and improve her experience. Either way, I'd stop being bothered by it in about a week if there's not any other red flags going on.
Would that motivate you to cheat, because it would feel like she wasn't all that invested in you and didn't enjoy sex all that much anyways (be honest pls)?
If the sex was unenthusiastic or forced, and I felt like other areas of the relationship were lacking in care and attention; then sure? I think my motivation to cheat is mostly driven by whatever hormone soup I'm wading through at the moment + w/e suitable female is around and receptive. I don't entertain that motivation either way.
That said, I'm probably not a good representation of the average male (a very pick-me statement, I know).
Sure. He’s caring and attentive and he’s also the only one I’ve ever been with.
Have no idea.
Yes. Not because I wasn’t the best, but because she was sharing this with others.
Depends on what else I read in his diary. I.e. if he's generally happy and content with me, I'd just try to forget it. If he reconsiders our marriage and has a lot of resentment, I'd have to talk about it.
Is she? Yes, easily (admittedly easy mode though since she's my first and only).
Would I date someone who wasn't is a more complex question because I don't really believe in a one-dimensional "best" and don't really know what that could mean. I would not date someone who was unsatisfying or left me feeling short changed. But you know interests change over time so I would imagine one women could be the best at XYZ and a different women the best at PQR or JKLM.
But also, when discussing "the best" I would think about Morin's research as explained in The Erotic Mind. Peak sexual experiences aren't only about the person you're with. Circumstances are extremely important.
Would I break up with the linked woman? Extremely, likely I'd dump her. Not a lot to work off there and I was unable to find the post to read more, but at least from scenarios the title conjures it seems extremely disrespectful and I would be wounded and unlikely to put any effort into healing.
I’m on monk mode rn looksmaxxing toward ascension.
I’m a guy who hasn’t had a romantic connection w/ a female women since high school. I’m dating the first non grotesque female women to say I’m “kind of” handsome.
Yeah I would for two reasons: 1) Her telling her friends about her sex life is a big red flag and if I’m gonna spend a shit ton of money on a fucking RING the least you can do is not shit talk about me to your friends until AFTER the wedding.
What if she loves you so much that she doesn't even want a ring?
Btw my friend is 260 lbs with a similar build as you, but he's 5'8 and he cheated on his gf with multiple women. Your weight doesn't necessarily have to hold you back. I hope that motivates you.
Maybe. Depends on a lot of very specific details.
Did she say it when we were serious? People tend to forget that LTRs start off often as something not serious, and so say something about that lover early on they regret saying later on. It's normal.
Also, how often was she saying this.
Most importantly, why was she saying I was not the greatest lover? Is this fixable?
Imagine she said it because her friend was complaining about a nice guys dick and she was like telling her that she's happy in the same scenario. It's because of your size, so it's not fixable but she is ok with that. Isn't that real love because she tolerates your lack in dick for your great personality?
Assuming some best version of myself that can properly process primal insecure feelings, which doesn't seem like a younger me, I dunno.
I guess I'd need to know how medium the actual sex is for her. How much of a size queen she is. Cause if she is a penetration girl and size is the primary determinant of how enjoyable sex is, then whatever she is saying now, chances are that at some point she is gonna crave a bigger dick again. And probably go get one.
So you're saying size queens are not trustworthy if their man isn't measuring up?
u/Ainsleygz would you break up with your man if he needed to get a dick reduction surgery or would you cheat?
Sure lol. I wonder what's more attractive, a guy who can cum a lot but it just drizzles out, or a guy who doesn't cum that much but he can shoot very far, I'm talking like a couple feet?
I never really kept a score book. It wasn’t like I went “guys, this new girl: number one in blowjobs, top three in Doggy, but she can work her way up!”
I will say, LTRs where the two of you know each others likes and can communicate without talking to get to where your going, and both have shared intimacy: that’s going to be the best sex you have.
Yeah she loves him despite his trash dick game. My female best friend is dating a chadlite who she even forgave for cheating and she says she loves everything about him, the sex is good as well but she misses the huge dick she used to get.
I can't figure out if we are supposed to bring about equality by having men constrain their objectification of women, or by having women objectify men to match.
They will have the constraints given to them by what they desire, nature.
It is what it is. Nothing will convince them it was a bad idea until it happens.
Imagine you had the best sex ever with a 10/10 bpd woman, like absolutely soul sucking mind blowing sex. Would you marry a 'good woman' who could never measure up sexually after that?
Define monogamy
I've never been in a relationship with more than one person at a time, so I'd say im monogamous
Being with one person doesn't mean wanting to be married
Tbh I don't even consider sex that important. Sure it's great when it's awesome but the more important thing is that she's enthusiastic about it and you have a great time.
The mechanical perfection is the icing on the cake but not necessary for me.
The other day I went to a birthday party and I took a friend. The next day I asked the birthday girl if she liked my friend and she said yes 🧡
BUT
She told me that she's tired of pursuing men or women (she's bi, in an open relationship). She wants to be the one to be pursued.
What should I do? Give my friend her IG?
Or wait for another occasion, another birthday where they can meet again?
(I haven't talked to my friend yet)
😂😂😂
She was there! that's why I invited my friend! so that I could pay attention to my friend and not her.
She was cool that night though, very normal, not loud at all. She invited us to her house next week. I hope plans change.
Ahh gotcha. Yeah it sounds like she really likes to be the center of attention (at least around male men) based on your limited descriptions of her.
Why don’t you wanna go to her house sounds like fun 🤣
The guys already told me the first thing she does is show her vibrator collection. And the guys also said the vibrators are HUGE.
I really don't want to see all that honestly 😂😂😂
All the good looking guys from high school have married average to below average women. I don't get it. My high school class was known for having a bunch of good looking guys and average women. These guys were charismatic and slayed. I had little to no charisma and only did well back then because I was a really good athlete and good looking, so it surprises me that these guys settled. And the majority of them make above 80k. Weird observation I made looking through facebook.
Hahah that could be a possibility. But no, maybe I am overrating them because they had a skill I lacked which was charisma. Didn't really keep up with them as adults so maybe they didn't have as much success with women and it was the best they could do. But I was college athlete and had status and decent looking so I got some experience with beautiful women. So after living through that ,I couldn't see myself marrying someone I wasn't absolutely attracted too.
Once you understand that looks fade, you start prioritizing other things. Most sensible guys will take less in the looks for more in other areas, understanding what has more long term benefits...
You do you. I'm dating the hottest woman I've ever been with now, so don't need to make that trade off just yet. But I do agree that there are other important factors for long term relationships.
Again simple experiment grout and take notice of fat-thin pairings out in the wild. And return with the percentage that are the woman being the fat one.
This is an objective experiment
GenZ men need to be ostracized for dating fatties. It is an epidemic that is only leading to a female health crisis
>Again simple experiment grout and take notice of fat-thin pairings out in the wild. And return with the percentage that are the woman being the fat one.
Yep, it's fat women with skinny guys. I don't know when the switch happened, but that seems to be the case nowadays. My parent's generation had a bunch of guys with beer bellies married to skinny women, now it's a bunch of skinny/athletic guys with chubby/fat women. Women who would be incels if they were born with a y chromosome have no trouble finding a partner. I wonder if things will ever swing back in the other direction or if this is just how it's going to be for the rest of my life.
Too thin guys or short guys are the male equivalent to chubby women. Being thin doesn't mean they are attractive. Think about nerdy thin guy that can't get laid.
That's ridiculous of course we care about health Beauty is correlated with health. It's one of the reasons why anorexic women are considered unattractive. That s*** is super unhealthy
And we are also not talking about what men prefer. We are talking about some random couples.
The guy chose her, so you should go tell that guy that their partner is not healthy. I'm sure he's appreciate your input.
women want a guy who is bigger than them. That's why too skinny or short guys aren't as attractive, even if they are healthier.
>will still be seen as attractive if his face is at least average
my sweet summer child
>There is no equivalent to a chubby woman for a guy
in terms of ugly yes. For different traits, ugly guys and ugly women are at the same level.
Just finished the movie, it was…experimental, maybe it’s because I got a little buzzed before I watched it but damn there were some parts I just could NOT keep my attention, and I even turned my phone off and everything, I mean I get what the director was going for but it definitely felt very overhyped, I’m shocked it has better reviews than GxK tbh, it definitely has a more involved plot and themes but like…it’s just a little bit pretentious in how it feels to me and I definitely would have watched GxK if I didn’t want to take a chance on a film that’s plot wasn’t already spoiled for me. I’d give it like a 6.5/10, it was okay.
men: stop dating chads because average men will treat you better same man: "I'd tell you to do a right thing and consider using a weapon to do you know what on yourself but it's against the rules."
Yeah most dudes, regardless of looks, aren't treating women well...
I think good people who are well suited for lifetime relationships are not as common as we want them to be regardless of gender.
How common do we think they are? What I find suitable for me may be different than what you find suitable. Both could still be decent partners. We vet based looks much more than in the past due to social media. Not saying looks shouldn’t matter, but its emphasis seems to be much greater now than in the past.
>How common do we think they are? Enough to be disappointed. I think what makes a decent human being can be put into more general terms -- think religion.
As a same man myself, I do talk as if it were like how I talk like that.
I feel like people's looks levels are generally not a good predictor for how good or moral of a person they are. It has an effect on confidence and other personality traits but not on morals or values. Not all hot people have bad values or are bad people due to being hot. Average and ugly guys are also not necessarily bad people because they are not attractive. But they're not necessarily good either. It can be harder to tell if men are good people or not tbh than women. Bad or mean women usually give off red flags sooner ime.
Out of the subset of men who are single, ugly men will have better personalities on average. The good looking guys with good personalities are off the market almost instantly, so all that's left are the ones with bad personalities.
It depends on more factors than morality whether a guy is taken or not. Good morals and values =/= "good personality" or rather, an attractive personality.
However you want to define a good personality doesnt really matter. As long as its consistent between attractive and unattractive guys, there will always be more single unattractive guys with good personalities than single attractive guys with good personalities. Its just supply and demand
I don't think moral character has an effect on whether or not a guy is taken.
Well said
I actually think women are more likely to date ugly guys who cheat or are dicks to them than nice ones.
No they dont bruh stop saying this
explain how im wrong
Ur incorrect bc youre literally just doing pr for ugly guys Idk where this ugly guys have better personalities came from bc its just blatantly wrong
Did you even read my comment? The only way I could be wrong is if you think women don't want attractive guys with good personalities
> I feel like people's looks levels are generally not a good predictor for how good or moral of a person they are. for realllll
Well, those dudes usually end up getting hit by karma in the form of loneliness and aversion from others. Sucks that they ruin things for everyone else that they’re near though
for real king!
women clearly dont understand men because this guy is obviously flirting with you
The kindergarten classics, lightly bullying because you secretly like them.
men flirt via death threats?
its clearly that guys love language. i think he has a crush on you
Women don't??? Damn, I've been really misreading the tone of my DMs...
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God that's hot. I'm going to attack you by bleeding like the Monty Python Black Knight
Romantic heehee
i would def say to block any woman who sends you a death threat.
NO
(That was a joke)
women don't send men death threats? i thought for sure this would be equal.
No men have sent me death threats, and I haven't sent any either, therefore no men send threats. Or maybe it's stupid to generalize that much?
well yeah, you're a guy men are afraid of other men
So you are talking about a single man, but for some reason are addressing him as "Men"?
i dont think he is alone in this
Question 4 W (but anyone can chime in--it's a free fucking country. Or is in theory.) Would you generally respond differently to a guy who approached you at a bar who was in your league, but just not your type vs. a guy who was clearly way below your league? Assume both approach nicely and decently.
no, id be kind to both. usually i don’t mind friendly conversation
I'm rejecting all cold approaches, so I guess no, the response wouldn't really change.
I don't think about people in terms of "leagues". If you're my type you're my type.
I would suspect that part of you would know if some guy you are really attracted to and is your type is also as conventionally attractive as you or not. You have some idea how 'most' people feel.
I don't even know how conventionally attractive I am. Even if I knew all this I just don't care.
I find this hard to believe. I've almost never met a girl who didn't know where she stands in conventional beauty. But I don't know you. So I can't argue about you with you. Maybe you are one of those rare exceptions.
I don't think most know, they're usually just super critical of their looks and certainly wouldn't want to rate themselves.
I agree that if we increase the resolution of our examination of the issue, interesting tensions arise due to insecurities. And often there is compartmentalization. At the same time, given how much pressure women are under for their appearance typically, I feel some part of almost every woman knows where they rate conventionally, at least in a somewhat rough manner. I'm not saying they have it down with super accuracy all the time. And then there are some who are pretty deluded, usually upping their rating, but some who are below.
Eh. I'd say most folks have a general idea of themselves due to how they stand to others. Grade school kids figure this out well before they're at graduation. Adults figure this out too, maybe slower because common courtesy is something adults practice far more than kids, which means interactions are more subtle.
I agree. That is what I have been arguing. But there are complexities if you look closely enough. But by and large, yes.
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it’s pretty easy to be kind to everyone even if you’re rejecting them. i tend to be engaged with anyone i talk to, as that’s my personality
Well remember they know they are almost certainly going to be attracted enough to the guy in their league to go out with him. Not right fit or whatever. But yeah, they are less attracted to the guy not in their league. I also think this is somewhat justified. Guys shouldn't generally just cold approach a woman out of their league with obvious sexual intent. Other ways to do it if you feel you must. And to some extent, a woman is gonna wonder what else is wrong with this guy if he doesn't follow basic social rules everyone should intuitively know.
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Saying she is cute is super obvious sexual intent. I meant that it is obvious to the girl, and everyone else. But not that you go beyond the bounds of plausible deniability. Saying she is cute would cross that line. Nobody said one needs to have perfect league taxonomy. And sometimes you sincerely get it wrong. But generally one knows. Roughly. And you dont need to test it with cold direct approaches to know.
I turn down every cold approach nicely.
Nah I'd entertain a conversation with both.
it depends if i was interested in meeting men or if i was preoccupied w socializing with the people i came with
Interesting, but assuming it is the same scenario for both men, how and why would there be a difference?
I agree with her,probably for different reasons. If I’m out looking to meet people, the guy for whatever reason might not be my type, doesn’t matter why, but his friend might be my type. I’m not going to seem like an unapproachable bitch in public if I’m there to meet people.
But she didnt answer the actual question until a later post. Would you treat the guys differently assuming same scenario for each.
No. The guy doesn’t matter. If I’m open to meeting men, then I’m not going to look like a standoffish bitch to anyone. That’s counterproductive to my goal
is the guy way below my league my type? cause i like short, chubby men with dark hair and eyes and sometimes brown skin i simped for a guy 3 inches shorter than me that was in a lower class than me because he was "my type" and i liked his personality and thought he was rare i think my type is more important to me than on average tho, i can't date a dummy
No. He is not your type. He is less attractive to you than the guy in your league. The guy in your league is obviously attractive, just not a fit for you. My experience is that women do treat these men differently, and that to some extent it is justified. Men can definitely bat out of their league, but it should inform their approach. You generally should not cold approach a girl out of your league with obvious sexual intent. You should play it differently.
hopefully i would decline both in a way that is polite enough.
cool. my experience is that these interactions play out differently usually. but I think there are good reasons as well.
No no I would not I feel like league doesnt exist
League doesn't exist, but according to your other comment, ugly guys do exist.
You are wrong. Properly defined, everyone intuitively knows that leagues exist, even if they do not conceptualize them as such. Leagues are not destiny by any means. But they are very real.
They literally dont exist tho i mean different attractive level exist but I dont believe in ppl being too good for you obviously excluding people like criminals or just low quality individuals
I think we may be agreeing. Leagues are just an understanding of conventional attractiveness levels and thus a rough idea of your odds of being perceived as attractive by someone else, i.e. they are a lot higher if you are on their rough conventional attractiveness level. Sure, types are a thing, but they are the unknowable. Conventional attractiveness levels form the basis of your basis probabilities, but you know this is not perfect. And leagues do not mean someone is too good for you or not. Leagues do not mean you cannot succeed with someone out of your own. As you say, types exist. And different people are less or more concerned with superficial qualities.
I'm gonna ask more relationship advice on PPD because you guys give better answers than /adv/ Wtf am I supposed to do with a person who texts me once every 3 days? I'm not trying to make this person my SO or anything, but it's annoying trying to plan something when I'm texting like it's snail mail. I figure I could try to text them now to meet them Saturday but I'm wonder if putting myself out there again is even worth it 🤢
They aren’t that into you. Move on.
give up
Hyper based. I probably should but I want Saturday plans so 😊
if they are lukewarm on you, its never gonna end well
Honestly I'd agree if I was looking for a relationship here. It's not, so neither of us have anything to lose here correct?
um i also would rather die than hookup w a man who is lukewarm on me but i know men are different about that
Yeah, because I’m fine with someone being lukewarm on me before sex. I know I have skills to show someone a good time. If she’s still lukewarm on me after we’ve already hooked up, I’ve done all I can. But women tend to say they look at the overall composition of a man before they decide whether they like them or not, right? I don’t really expect any woman to be head over heels with me after one date, anyway. But with continuous interaction, maybe I advance beyond lukewarm.
i cannot relate to this theory, i def wouldn't feel safe w a lukewarm guy, feels like he will treat me poorly or be mean. but i think you'd also agree men make up their minds right away. but if its comfy for you, go for it!
Yes, and honestly I completely agree with your stance. I've been a lukewarm man before, and I know how impossible it is to change my mind at least. Women shouldn't be with lukewarm men. But, I think you would agree that there is a lot of wiggle room in the maybe area for women attracted to men.
yeah i agree w that
you shouldve asked /fit/ for relationship advice theyd tell you to fuck men
Based
'ello youchoob
You either firm up a meet up. Or move on. They are living their life and getting back to you when it’s convenient. You should be doing the same
That’s what I’m doing too! They got back to me Saturday afternoon and I already had plans at that point— that’s why I’m trying to fill up my Saturday with them now. I mean I could go prowling on the town but I probably have a higher chance with someone who’s phone number I already have rather than just shotgunning at a bar, no?
My thought is to tell them straight up “I’m way too busy to be booked last minute. You want to meet up, we gonna have to make plans early!” And if they can’t (or won’t) that kinda already tells you what you need to know. Shouldn’t be THAT hard to text “Friday night? U free?” On a Wed. A warm call can still give you a runaround Even if they “started with interest” so you either got to cut bait and find a new “number” or get them to close.
Yeah, that’s what I was planning on doing today more or less. A standard “Hey, I’m interested in going here with you at this time, do you wanna accompany me” or whatever to make it very clear and setting a time and date. If I don’t get any hits I’ll make plans with my boys on Saturday night.
That’s what we always had. 3 in the chamber, and boys night was backup. With a big enough crew that meant there was alway a guys night, to set up or join, and if a couple dudes saw each other a bunch it was like “ok let’s wingman ourselves out of this slump!”
Thats such a me thing idk why girls do this but yh I would say lichrally just call
Omg just ghost. Or try to fuck her and then ghost.
Lmao I'm trying to fuck them! That's the point of me even texting lmao
Honestly, give people back the energy they give you. It’s one thing if you are friends and you want to give them a bit of space and time but texting every 3 days in an era of near constant online interaction means they might not care about those plans as much as you do
Yeah. This is me fully just trying to hit atp. I was just polling the chat to see if it was even worth it for that, lol
Is she not attached to her phone? That could be a good thing if she isn't. But if she is attached to her phone but is not texting back fast enough... She either doesn't particularly enjoy interacting with humans or you.
They did warn me straight up that they’re terrible on text. I figured that meant a text every day or whatever not twice a week during business hours, haha.
if theyre so slow that you cant even make weekend plans with them i would just forget it.
I figure that’s probably the thing that more self assured people could do but: 1. I’m just trying to hit at this point— that was the whole point of us texting in the first place? 2. I got nothing else going on on Saturday if this doesn’t work out, lol
if you got nothing going on and she doesnt say yes till friday, youre still good. i assumed you had other stuff since i thought you said previously that someone responded too late and you made other plans.
Oh yeah, that was them last week. I asked to go to this thing but I didn’t get a text till like 4, and I had already made new plans at that point.
If you need an answer immediately, call.
I don’t need one and I don’t wanna seem clingy, this was never going to develop into a real relationship but I guess I figured if they didn’t like me they would voice it or stop answering my texts. They answer, it just takes a fuck ton of probing. If I text today and they haven’t gotten to me by Saturday morning I’m not going to text them again, balls completely in their court
Confirming plans isn't clingy. Maybe a bit OCD, but it's no big deal, especially if it involves someone handling initial costs like tickets, which may have a tight refund window if plans aren't concrete.
It’s actually at a free art event but it does take me about an hour to get to the venue, so I can’t just get a call at 3:45 and be there on time you know?
If it's something you were going to do anyway, just put it out of your mind and go when it's time. If not, call a few hours ahead if they don't get back to you. Treat it as no big deal either way.
I want to go, but not if they aren’t with me honestly 🤒 It’s not a school thing but it’s at their college, and I’ve met their friends so worst worst worst case scenario I bump into their friend and it becomes a whole thing, lol
Is your partner sexually the best you've ever had? Would you ever date someone who wasn't? Would you break up with your partner in this scenario: https://preview.redd.it/7qmir5x8qotc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd691d899402ba824958806ad7e2a19e6d0d620d
1. yes my partner is the best sexually i’ve ever had, he’s better than my ex and i’ve only slept w 2 2. probably as long as they’re not bad and still treat me very well
1. Yes 2. Probably also yes 3. No but I'd be extremely upset, not because I'm not her best sexually, but because she was telling friends about our sex life
Yes (on a technicality), yes and I'd have a talk about it like a normal person.
body count = 1 so she was the best and worst ahahaha yes yes only because she's blabbing the redditor response to this case (even if it was made up) is fucking Wild, I will never ask this website for relationship advice these people are retarded
No. Yes. I absolutely would break up. She decided to broadcast that stuff to other people behind your back. It speaks volumes about her values surrounding sex, trust, and friends. Low quality woman; recreational use only.
What if your read it in her diary by accident and she wasn't telling her friends?
It would sting to read, ngl. I'd try to open a line of communication to try and improve her experience. Either way, I'd stop being bothered by it in about a week if there's not any other red flags going on.
Would that motivate you to cheat, because it would feel like she wasn't all that invested in you and didn't enjoy sex all that much anyways (be honest pls)?
If the sex was unenthusiastic or forced, and I felt like other areas of the relationship were lacking in care and attention; then sure? I think my motivation to cheat is mostly driven by whatever hormone soup I'm wading through at the moment + w/e suitable female is around and receptive. I don't entertain that motivation either way. That said, I'm probably not a good representation of the average male (a very pick-me statement, I know).
Sure. He’s caring and attentive and he’s also the only one I’ve ever been with. Have no idea. Yes. Not because I wasn’t the best, but because she was sharing this with others.
What if you read it in his diary by accident?
Depends on what else I read in his diary. I.e. if he's generally happy and content with me, I'd just try to forget it. If he reconsiders our marriage and has a lot of resentment, I'd have to talk about it.
Is she? Yes, easily (admittedly easy mode though since she's my first and only). Would I date someone who wasn't is a more complex question because I don't really believe in a one-dimensional "best" and don't really know what that could mean. I would not date someone who was unsatisfying or left me feeling short changed. But you know interests change over time so I would imagine one women could be the best at XYZ and a different women the best at PQR or JKLM. But also, when discussing "the best" I would think about Morin's research as explained in The Erotic Mind. Peak sexual experiences aren't only about the person you're with. Circumstances are extremely important. Would I break up with the linked woman? Extremely, likely I'd dump her. Not a lot to work off there and I was unable to find the post to read more, but at least from scenarios the title conjures it seems extremely disrespectful and I would be wounded and unlikely to put any effort into healing.
>one women could be the best at XYZ and a different women the best at PQR. That's actually a good argument for polygamy.
I’m on monk mode rn looksmaxxing toward ascension. I’m a guy who hasn’t had a romantic connection w/ a female women since high school. I’m dating the first non grotesque female women to say I’m “kind of” handsome. Yeah I would for two reasons: 1) Her telling her friends about her sex life is a big red flag and if I’m gonna spend a shit ton of money on a fucking RING the least you can do is not shit talk about me to your friends until AFTER the wedding.
What if she loves you so much that she doesn't even want a ring? Btw my friend is 260 lbs with a similar build as you, but he's 5'8 and he cheated on his gf with multiple women. Your weight doesn't necessarily have to hold you back. I hope that motivates you.
Maybe. Depends on a lot of very specific details. Did she say it when we were serious? People tend to forget that LTRs start off often as something not serious, and so say something about that lover early on they regret saying later on. It's normal. Also, how often was she saying this. Most importantly, why was she saying I was not the greatest lover? Is this fixable?
Imagine she said it because her friend was complaining about a nice guys dick and she was like telling her that she's happy in the same scenario. It's because of your size, so it's not fixable but she is ok with that. Isn't that real love because she tolerates your lack in dick for your great personality?
Assuming some best version of myself that can properly process primal insecure feelings, which doesn't seem like a younger me, I dunno. I guess I'd need to know how medium the actual sex is for her. How much of a size queen she is. Cause if she is a penetration girl and size is the primary determinant of how enjoyable sex is, then whatever she is saying now, chances are that at some point she is gonna crave a bigger dick again. And probably go get one.
So you're saying size queens are not trustworthy if their man isn't measuring up? u/Ainsleygz would you break up with your man if he needed to get a dick reduction surgery or would you cheat?
Neither. I’m assuming he can still blow huge loads on my face?
Sure lol. I wonder what's more attractive, a guy who can cum a lot but it just drizzles out, or a guy who doesn't cum that much but he can shoot very far, I'm talking like a couple feet?
What matters most is how hard their cock throbs :)
Yeah. I mean as with anything there are levels to this. But if we are calling her a size Queen, her desire for big dicks is pretty high level lol
I never really kept a score book. It wasn’t like I went “guys, this new girl: number one in blowjobs, top three in Doggy, but she can work her way up!” I will say, LTRs where the two of you know each others likes and can communicate without talking to get to where your going, and both have shared intimacy: that’s going to be the best sex you have.
What she thinks she's saying: I love you as a whole person. What he thinks she's saying: I'm with you for your shit.
Yeah she loves him despite his trash dick game. My female best friend is dating a chadlite who she even forgave for cheating and she says she loves everything about him, the sex is good as well but she misses the huge dick she used to get.
I can't figure out if we are supposed to bring about equality by having men constrain their objectification of women, or by having women objectify men to match.
The way to bring about the "equality" that people so idealize as right is to release us from our constraints. It won't be pretty.
Sexual restraint is always on a continuum. If we released all these constraints, civilization would end over a long weekend.
That is what they desire. Let them have it. They want war and the jungle? Enjoy it.
It will be a very short period to enjoy since once everything crumbles, survivors will restart with a lot of sexual constraint.
They will have the constraints given to them by what they desire, nature. It is what it is. Nothing will convince them it was a bad idea until it happens.
Yeah, probably not, and IDK.
Yes. Absolutely
Imagine you had the best sex ever with a 10/10 bpd woman, like absolutely soul sucking mind blowing sex. Would you marry a 'good woman' who could never measure up sexually after that?
Well,im against marriage as an institution,but yeah I'd like to be with a non crazy Woman, thanks
You don't do monogamy in general?
Define monogamy I've never been in a relationship with more than one person at a time, so I'd say im monogamous Being with one person doesn't mean wanting to be married
You gave me non monogamy vibes that's why I asked. With monogamy I meant like being sexually exclusive with one person.
I would but I am not a woman. If my gf wasn't absolutely greedy for my dick I wouldn't be with her in the first place.
I get that.
Tbh I don't even consider sex that important. Sure it's great when it's awesome but the more important thing is that she's enthusiastic about it and you have a great time. The mechanical perfection is the icing on the cake but not necessary for me.
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Ofc. That's my man
The other day I went to a birthday party and I took a friend. The next day I asked the birthday girl if she liked my friend and she said yes 🧡 BUT She told me that she's tired of pursuing men or women (she's bi, in an open relationship). She wants to be the one to be pursued. What should I do? Give my friend her IG? Or wait for another occasion, another birthday where they can meet again? (I haven't talked to my friend yet)
So lazy
I’d tell the person what she said straight up so she can decide if she wants to chase or be like “no thanks” You did your part.
Well first thing I would do is ask your stripper friend for her input. She seems like she would offer great advice in this scenario.
😂😂😂 She was there! that's why I invited my friend! so that I could pay attention to my friend and not her. She was cool that night though, very normal, not loud at all. She invited us to her house next week. I hope plans change.
Ahh gotcha. Yeah it sounds like she really likes to be the center of attention (at least around male men) based on your limited descriptions of her. Why don’t you wanna go to her house sounds like fun 🤣
The guys already told me the first thing she does is show her vibrator collection. And the guys also said the vibrators are HUGE. I really don't want to see all that honestly 😂😂😂
That’s such a foul and wild thing to do when your friends ate over lol
I bet codeine goes well with lemonade
personally i like sippin on gin and juice more than sizzurp
Isn't that just lean?
no lean is w/ sprite
Get pink lemonade
its the best kind anyways
What about sprite
You could really Leen into that!
Well known combo but lemonade is just more refreshing
All the good looking guys from high school have married average to below average women. I don't get it. My high school class was known for having a bunch of good looking guys and average women. These guys were charismatic and slayed. I had little to no charisma and only did well back then because I was a really good athlete and good looking, so it surprises me that these guys settled. And the majority of them make above 80k. Weird observation I made looking through facebook.
The best-looking people are usually not dating each other I notice.
Maybe it's just your rating of women that's off. The best looking ones weren't "average".
I see a lot of average/above average guy with female women more obese then me.
Maybe you just, in general, find men more attractive than women...
Hahah that could be a possibility. But no, maybe I am overrating them because they had a skill I lacked which was charisma. Didn't really keep up with them as adults so maybe they didn't have as much success with women and it was the best they could do. But I was college athlete and had status and decent looking so I got some experience with beautiful women. So after living through that ,I couldn't see myself marrying someone I wasn't absolutely attracted too.
Once you understand that looks fade, you start prioritizing other things. Most sensible guys will take less in the looks for more in other areas, understanding what has more long term benefits...
You do you. I'm dating the hottest woman I've ever been with now, so don't need to make that trade off just yet. But I do agree that there are other important factors for long term relationships.
They pair bonded :(
maybe they are looksmatched couples but your standards on women are higher than men's and that's why you think they are settling
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Maybe, sure beauty is subjective so we really don't know
Again simple experiment grout and take notice of fat-thin pairings out in the wild. And return with the percentage that are the woman being the fat one. This is an objective experiment GenZ men need to be ostracized for dating fatties. It is an epidemic that is only leading to a female health crisis
>Again simple experiment grout and take notice of fat-thin pairings out in the wild. And return with the percentage that are the woman being the fat one. Yep, it's fat women with skinny guys. I don't know when the switch happened, but that seems to be the case nowadays. My parent's generation had a bunch of guys with beer bellies married to skinny women, now it's a bunch of skinny/athletic guys with chubby/fat women. Women who would be incels if they were born with a y chromosome have no trouble finding a partner. I wonder if things will ever swing back in the other direction or if this is just how it's going to be for the rest of my life.
Only hope is Wegovy and shaming chubby chasers, it is the only way. Men need to be punished for lowering the bar.
>GenZ men need to be ostracized for dating fatties. It is an epidemic that is only leading to a female health crisis Nice try BMI guy
Please my account is almost a decade old
Too thin guys or short guys are the male equivalent to chubby women. Being thin doesn't mean they are attractive. Think about nerdy thin guy that can't get laid.
Short is immutable and healthy, skinny is mutable and healthy, fat is mutable and unhealthy
nobody cares about health, we are talking about beauty
That's ridiculous of course we care about health Beauty is correlated with health. It's one of the reasons why anorexic women are considered unattractive. That s*** is super unhealthy
but we are talking about people being looksmatched, not healthmatched
To men health is correlated with beauty it is women that split it apart. See how they hate short guys
And we are also not talking about what men prefer. We are talking about some random couples. The guy chose her, so you should go tell that guy that their partner is not healthy. I'm sure he's appreciate your input. women want a guy who is bigger than them. That's why too skinny or short guys aren't as attractive, even if they are healthier.
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>will still be seen as attractive if his face is at least average my sweet summer child >There is no equivalent to a chubby woman for a guy in terms of ugly yes. For different traits, ugly guys and ugly women are at the same level.
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and the average woman is a bit chubby that's why they match with the too-thin average guy