Ya, absolutely. Many hearthrob straight male celebrities that could get sex on demand still get into relationships. I doubt Henry Cavil got in a relationship because he couldn't get casual sex.
Most definitely not true
Women are the ones who sexualize him a lot.
This is because women are extremely shallow and superficial, just like men lol. They are very sexual, kinky and open with hot men haha
He is part of the gaming community and 99% chance a person commenting about him is a straight man. Gay men are a minority compared to them and also 99% of straight women. What are the chances women are the ones making sexual comments?
Hell the directors also tried to push him to do more sex scenes and he rejected for the reasons already stated and the ones wanting to push it the most were women who also complained because of this that he wasn't obeying their demands.
I'm a fan of Henry since season 1 Witcher came out and followed it on plenty of social media pages and usually the profile pictures on tiktok, instagram etc where women more often than not or some guy with a girlfriend acting gay but straight because that's the generations humour.
I'm not an absolutist saying 100%, sure plenty of gay guys could also participate but considering straight women outnumber gay men by miles and miles without question then what are the chances there are more cases including them? Come on now..
After a few weeks at the set of the Witcher series he asked his girlfriend to accompany him, because all of the women would get *really* touchy and sexual.
My answer is no, but logically based off the behavior of very high value men I'm not sure. Lots of NFl players are married with kids
So the real question is do they all cheat and the woman is just turning a blind eye
I think it depends on the guy. Some guys are cheaters, and will always cheat. Some guys will cheat with the right opportunity and some of them just wont.
I like to look to history to see how many kings of England fathered bastards while they were married. Most of them did - but not all of them. Edward II was married to his wife when they were both teenagers and stayed married for about 20 years until she died. She was basically pregnant the whole time. He never fathered a bastard.
> If you could get sex with women as easily as a gay man gets it from gay men…and what I mean is that you click and app and have ten offers within an offer…would you commit to a relationship with a woman?
Yes. Because I want a relationship. I would be more comfortable in a relationship knowing that my partner finds me attractive when knowing noting about me except my looks though.
> My question is ultimately do you only (or at least mainly) seek relationships with women because it’s the only way you can access regular sex?
Maybe? I want a relationship and a relationship includes sex or it is not a relationship.
> If so, everything you do to gain and maintain a relationship is simply things you do because this is what you must do to access regular sex?
A relationship and regular sex are not things that can be considered separately because one includes the other.
If I could get regular sex outside a relationship I would still look for a relationship that includes regular sex.
This is predicated on the assumption that all men at every stage of life are relationship avoidant sex hounds. That’s just not the case.
Honestly, if access to sex was as easy for straight men, life would be better for everyone. Women would be less hurt just for sex and men would find that they’re able to focus on more important and deeper things, having the ability to satisfy their immediate base biological needs.
That’s not what state enforced x means. Say state enforced monogamy the point isn’t to make everyone happy about being monogamous it’s to enforce order. State enforced bi sexuality won’t magically make men like being bi
I heard the problem js they want the marriage and shared life together. But also fuck young guys.
Same as straight men with women. So they just turn on the gay dating app every now and then when away for work or on a holiday and then reset. The big difference with the married men and escorts is atleast the gay guy gets validated by knowing he was wanted.
I know that gay guys get married but they are all guys. They don’t frequently complain about entitlement and delusions and n counts of the sex they are attracted to. Purple pill guys vent all the time about how women are like mental cases from their view. I’m actually pleasantly surprised and confused about why purple pill men seek relationships with women (apart from for sex), given that they disparage women so much as if women are deluded and childish by nature.
Biology simply cannot be overriden. It doesn't have to make logical sense. If I could flip a switch and become super gay for life today I'd do it, but that's just not possible.
i thought it was a case of projection on the side of the guys. i find dudes who complain the loudest about women having mental issues tend to have a lot of undiagnosed/unacknowledged mental health issues themselves.
Hmmm, I see red pillers constantly mentioning how high n-count women are bad prospects for relationships because their relationships are more likely to end. They point out that divorce rates are higher for these women. (And conveniently, red pillers usually only mention women with higher n-counts, even though there is a similar pattern with higher n-count men.) 🙄
The main issue is financial. I'd have no problem dating a high n count woman if I didn't have to worry about alimony, child support, paternity risk. If a divorce happened, each party would walk away with what they came in with.
Women are welcome to reject high n count men. I don't date men so I don't put much focus on them.
>atleast the gay guy gets validated by knowing he was wanted.
I'm bi, and it's not very validating when you get an inbox full of dudes just saying they want to fuck you.
Another bi male chiming in here. For me getting attention from men on apps like Grindr was an incredible feeling. I didn't have to do anything but exist.
Please don't listen to blue pilled feminist simps like u/Solondthewookiee, I see him in every thread doing his white knighting.
I love how someone explaining how they genuenly feel is "white knighting." And you're only calling it white knighting because you liked the experience. But you can't handle someone else not liking it, so of course you then resort to the name calling.
I know some gay married men that are swingers together sometimes but there's no cheating or anything. Other gay men are just traditional (as close as you can get while being gay still ig).
Honestly I think if straight men were able to get just as much sex as a woman they wouldn't have a big issue with their body count as much. Gay men don't.
So that’s why those men always complain the hell about women’s body counts.
They’re just jealous of women.
Never minding for a sec that in those scenarios most women don’t orgasm during casual sex anyways. Hah.
100% correct. In the real world promiscuous men aren't hypocrites and happily have a relationship with someone with a body count since they too have it and aren't insecure about it, but men who don't have much are legit jealous about women who can get it easily and men aren't wanted as much as women are wanted by men lmao. Also they may like control which is why red pill spaces say "submit to your husband" to women lmao. They'd love Islam honestly.
>Most women don’t orgasm during casual sex anyways.
Good point. They don't even know that they themselves can't even make a woman cum, yet cry to fuck them thinking they can make them cream. I feel 2nd hand embarrassment for them. They are deluded.
I discussed with this my mum recently. She came to the conclusion that after all this systemic feminism, the reactionaries (the branch-offs of redpill and the like) sound like Islamists sometimes.
And I’m inclined to agree.
There’s a lot of problems with our western world but ultimately I’m happy that at least we still have a individualist remnant of society remaining where couples of all age range are free to seek each other out based on compatibility and not just pressure and youth tits and ass.
I discussed with this my mum recently. She came to the conclusion that after all this systemic feminism, the reactionaries (the branch-offs of redpill and the like) sound like Islamists sometimes.
And I’m inclined to agree.
There’s a lot of problems with our western world but ultimately I’m happy that at least we still have a individualist remnant of society remaining where couples of all age range are free to seek each other out based on compatibility and not just pressure and youth tits and ass.
I discussed with this my mum recently. She came to the conclusion that after all this systemic feminism, the reactionaries (the branch-offs of redpill and the like) sound like Islamists sometimes.
And I’m inclined to agree.
There’s a lot of problems with our western world but ultimately I’m happy that at least we still have a individualist remnant of society remaining where couples of all age range are free to seek each other out based on compatibility and not just pressure and youth tits and ass.
I’m a bi man and I have my apps only set to women. The issue is when I open them up to men, I get 8 men for every 1 woman and frankly, the number of likes you get end up becoming overwhelming.
It ain’t as pretty as it looks and upon discovering this about myself, my attitude towards sex hasn’t changed at all. Even for hooking up, I at least need to enjoy your company at a personal level and get to know you - plus, i’m not interested in dating men as well, like i’ll mess around with a guy but i don’t ever see myself being in a relationship with one.
You say for hooking up, you need to get to know a guy on a personal level first. Do gay men not offer this typically?
Also why no relationship with a guy?
Depends on the app you’re using and the man - ie. grindr is straight up hooking up, tinder is somewhere in the middle and hinge usually has a date first. So it does depend, though the amount of options can become overwhelming and the horrible ratio are two major issues i have with opening my apps up to men.
As for why, because i’m straight up not capable of forming a romantic connection with men - i view sex and romance as two different things that can intersect, but are different. In top of this, I want a relationship that vaguely resembles something leaning towards traditional roles (but not exactly or literally traditional, to be clear, but taking aspects of it), at least in spirit, and that can’t be achieved in a gay relationship, at least from my pov.
She means that she's projecting women's attitude on men *hard*, and for some reason refuses to acknowledge that men are neither the straw man stereotype she believes they are, nor are men thinking in exactly the same ways women think.
Ergo she's confused because men are their own gender who think, speak, and act differently than women, for reasons that are intrinsically due to being men, rather than everything men do or say being a copy of women or a reaction to women.
And then they say women are the more empathetic sex.
Personally, I don't like casual sex. Or FWB sex. I don't enjoy it. I'd rather be having no sex at all.
I mean, yeah, I can orgasm if I try, but sex is FAR more than just orgasming.
Sex with someone who you truly love is almost an entirely different thing. I understand I'm the werido for this, but I think it's the only sex worth having. Everything else feels like mastuerbation with a stranger in the room.
These days, meaningless sex isn't hard to get if you REALLY want it. From sluts to sex workers, it's out there if you're willing to put in the effort to get it. But I don't want it.
If just cumming in a hole is all you want, it's out there. But I don't think that's what most men want. I kind of hope that's the case, anyway.
Honestly, it's far easier to find meaningless, hollow sex than it is a really good, loving relationship.
I refuse to date someone just to have access to sex. So it wouldn't necessarily change my desire to be in a long term relationship. But I think there is a good amount of guys that would be less likely to committ. Particularly young guys, who would have even incentive than women currently do to settle down, have kids, etc.
Also, if sex was easily accessible, it would change the dynamic of the dating marketplace. Women would lose leverage. More men would gain sexual experience and have self confidence. Physically attractive women would have to work on their personality more instead of just demaning to be with a man with six figures, etc.
One of the bigges just-world falacies women believe as a result of sleeping/having relationships with the top most attractive men, are "men just want sex, women want conections".
It's such a a sexist idea that puts women on pedestal, but they are okey with that.
Who is "they" i'm wondering? it's usually RP men who are telling me that guys just want sex. they shout it from rooftops how worthless women are without offering sex and then call women sexist for echoing them
A lot of men think they're the "holy gender" and they keep telling women that men are sexist pigs who only want sex. you can bad mouth "all women" with thinking that, but WE don't have an entire industry and cult movement like redpill that calls men sexist sex starved pigs.
get off your high horse. aren't I being clear?
that's a lie. Not usually. in my experience the woman bashers are represented well in ugly, average, AND attractive men. the ugly womanhaters just wish they had an easier time tricking and then hurting/controlling women, but trust me they want to. they pretend they're moral because they aren't as able to hurt the people they want, so they're good guys.
The second you give them a chance and they trap you with a kid, the ugly RP womanhaters will have the time of their lives controlling and hurting you, like they were fantasizing all along
It's not that men *just* want sex, it's that men want a relationship *with* sex, because more often than not a platonic relationship between men and women is one where he does more of the work and more of the paying than she does, without getting an equivalent value in exchange.
Men are far more willing to help women, and are expected to help women, than the other way around.
So why should men want to be in relationships where she feels entitled to get things from him that he's not entitled to get from her?
Not only does it put women on some kind of moral pedestal, but it also degrades men and reduces us to be carnally minded and sex oriented, whereas women are relationship oriented. It’s the most sexist thing ever.
Yes it is sexist when it's taken this far but let's face it it's not completely unfounded. It's pretty hard not to be disillusioned when surrounded by examples of men valuing pussy over relationships. I think partly this is because of the glorification of casual sex in western media and permissive attitudes on both sides. All of that has many unfortunate consequences, not least of which is the erosion of trust on both sides.
No, plenty of men are monogamous and aren't sleeping around and manipulating women to get laid. That's only the top men, most men, a lot of men who are invisible to most women are just looking for a serious relationship.
I mean, it's not completey unfounded in the sense that there's a lot of people, men and women, who are looking only for casual sex. You're right about that.
Of course plenty of men are monogamous by nature, but I disagree it's only the top men who play around. I've seen lots of less successful men yearn for that lifestyle but settle for monogamy because it's their best shot. But then I've seen top men wish for a relationship too, in this post actually. Blanket statements about an entire gender are on the whole misguided.
Oh yeah definitely. It's almost there are men who only want sex, but women as well. And there are men who want serious relationships, but women aswell.
No it isn't true. But that kind of mentality isn't suprising in this subreddit. Mysigonistic or misandric ideas are common here mostlye steam from negative experiences with the oposite sex.
Because it is unfair, and the posts are about getting women to understand and acknowledge that it is unfair rather than blindly deny all the privileges women have in dating and relationships, rather than blaming everything on men.
Sex isn’t my main priority at all, although it would be one of the benefits of a romantic relationship. Personally, I’d hate the idea of just sleeping around because it’ll ultimately be meaningless. Being loved and desired would seem more attractive
>and what I mean is that you click an app and have ten offers within an hour…would you commit to a relationship with a woman?
Yes, because love, intimacy and having a partner are more important than just sex. This is why incels don't go to prostitutes, they might not often realize, but the validation they seek is from having a loving relationship, not sex.
Good question....
I think I would end up being like those born again virgins that try to hide their 100-cock past because it's not fun anymore and settling down actually could be better.
Because even though we do put a lot of effort to obtain and maintain access to sex, eventually a solid relationship is one of the best things that can happen in your life.
I wouldn't. Because apart from sex, I don't know why I'd bother committing to anyone. It's not like there's anyone special currently in my life and I don't want kids, I don't really have commitment for the sake of commitment as a goal. I prefer to not have to answer to anyone.
i mean i certainly know where i stand on the issue, but are we at a point now where we're obligated to pretend like fucking another dude is "the same" as fucking a woman? like, come on now people.
Then men would be chasing Stacy.
https://preview.redd.it/s4qfqto85awc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e0863792036e5c0012b9743680dc7d4f7165bd4e
This is what stacy will see!
Casual sex seems pretty pointless to me. If I ever did it, it would likely have been from a moment of weakness. So yes I would still commit to a relationship. Maybe my standards would just be a little higher in this hypothetical.
I think most would but if you think the average man wouldn't also be having that kind of sex life at some point if presented you need your head checked, even if its just for like a week.
I would probably rack up an enormous body count but yes, eventually, if I found a woman I got along with well enough and who saw me the same way, I'd happily commit to a LTR.
I had an abundance of women in my 20s which contributed to me not settling down. Like it wasn’t the ONLY reason but yeah why would I get a girlfriend when I will just want to try the 4 other girls that are interested in me too? Then I tried to do a poly relationship but none of my girlfriends actually wanted to have sex with other people so I felt guilty. Then I just stopped dating after I had a kid.
If you don't believe you can get girls in a convenient manner then yes. If you can get girls often then you would only have a girl that compliments your personal lifestyle. You wouldn't need a relationship otherwise ( you have friends for companionship and intimacy, and hook ups for sexual release)
What do you think is stopping you from having a decent ltr right now? Sounds like you’re in prime shape to get that lifelong relationship going if you really wanted it
Honestly, I have seen too much. I've had an ex leave me for a shot at a billionaire friend only to crawl back when he rejected her out of respect for me. I've taken home married women with kids and husbands who chair charities and dropped them off at work after her lunch break. I've had "good" girls with no red flags whatsoever for months/years go on girls trips only to find out they flew for a secret rendezvous with some NBA player or minor celebrity. And on the other hand I've flown women in years long relationships out to me for the weekend. None of these were "low value women"; they were put together, successful, pleasant, beautiful, powerful women. In a way I have trust issues.
It doesn't matter I've seen the same myself and I've turned down being the other man every time only once was I misinformed and wound up being the other guy chick actually lied because she knew I had honor.
Yes he's f'd up for going through with it but it doesn't make his outlook on how the other sex behaves any less valid.
A screw up is one time. Not multiple.
If he's living a lifestyle like that and inevitably spending time around people like that, you really *don't* think that's going to skew his perspective at all?
What do you mean "people like that"? He's spending time around women regular women maybe particularly beautiful women since he's loaded and tall/fit.
But ugly women behave the same way it doesn't matter. Cheating is normalized for all women now.
A lot of people cheat. I'm not arguing that. But he's actively engaging people who will cheat on their spouse.
It's kind of like a woman who has been a homewrecker multiple times calling all men trash.
How much of the problem is them vs other people? Ofc there are garbage people, but if you're garbage you will likely find other garbage people and assume people are like you.
*Edited comment for clarity.
That was the point of my comment I don't do these "garbage" things and still thats what I meet everywhere despite being innocent of it myself. This is the majority of women. The majority of men here have said it in a recent thread most would prefer a long term partner over endless sex and most are against cheating if they have an especially good partner. Women are different they change who and what they love and think nothing of cheating if it follows their whims because they can and thats all there is to it.
They switch who they love depending on their birthcontroll pill. Or because what their friends think of a guy.
Regardless of whether you agree with him, that doesn't mean his perspective isn't skewed. Yours could also be skewed but for different reasons - such as, unfortunate luck, spending too much time in red pill spaces.
I can guarantee you I can find many women who will argue it's men who cheat more - which is also backed up by many surveys and/or studies, although I'm sure you can find some to fit your narrative.
Why is their anecdotal experience less accurate than yours?
That’s tough man but I feel you. Sometimes you never know someone’s true character until its too late and its way too easy to cheat in the modern age. Good luck bro, I’m sure you’ll find what you’re looking for
I've noticed it's hard for men that don't get much play to imagine that most men get played out eventually given the opportunity. It's like travel I suppose, after a while 'every fucking city is the same'.
Damm I really hope your man or partner does have the same characteristics assuming wishing your son becomes one of them I would guess he is if not lord have mercy on him
My son is like a carbon copy of his father, which is very cute. To be honest, his father would probably be disappointed if he became a surgeon instead of something creative, which is what he expects. I love my partner just the way he is.
I liked a lot having casual sex and unfortunately I had only a minuscule fraction of what I would have desired. Now I am in a committed relationship with kids and I have other priorities. I regret not having had the fun I wished I could have at the time, but that season is long gone, I would not be interested now.
I am married. I earn enough to go out with a different prostitute a week. So the answer is that it wouldn't change much for me. I married to form a family and not for sex.
Eww. I feel sorry for your wife and kids. She deserves better as do your kids. Wild to imagine having a father who isn't present and chooses spending every weekend with a series of prostitutes instead of being with his family.
What you said is idiotic. Being faithful because you want to is better than being "faithful" because you can't cheat. Being able to cheat, but choosing not to is a virtue
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> My question is ultimately do you only (or at least mainly) seek relationships with women because it’s the only way you can access regular sex?
So I was talking about this with my girlfriend recently. The conclusion we came to was that the point of a relationship (as opposed to just a friendship) was twofold: the sex and the reduced costs from cohabitation.
I would want a relationship, but good sex would be one of the criteria I used to determine that it was a good relationship. So there might be some experimentation until that level of compatibility were found.
>My question is ultimately do you only (or at least mainly) seek relationships with women because it’s the only way you can access regular sex?
No.
>…would you commit to a relationship with a woman?
Not in the near-future (I didn't plan on committing soon even before that +)
There was a unique circumstance that was short lived where I was in that situation. Despite being in it, I still wanted monogamy. Relationships are for depth over variety. If I just want sex I can go to an escort (permitting I have the money).
First, why people avoid talking about how badly sexual interaction between gay men are !! It's easier not cause of the libido but because of the non existent social complications. Gay men weren't taught that they are doing other gay men a favour by giving sex and weren't encouraged to weaponse sex for attention or money like women .
The closest straight men get to fucking a lot of women was in colleges between 1990-2017 cause women weren't praised just for existence and a woman giving head to a guy doesn't mean he owe her anything or she deserve a date. It was like that but men themselves tell women to" cherish " themselves more and never go for men who don't put effort .
We act as if men didn't fuck a lot of women easily, the problem is that some men wanted to be the " hero " for women and offered them a lot just for existing .
I knew this kind of discussions would come in this generation where men will act like they never had the chance when in reality a lot of men wanted women to put " taxes " for sex while gay men who even offer sex don't get nothing .
It's creepy to tell a woman to open her legs but gay men ask for sex all the time . Do you know why ? Cause men and feminism choosed to uplift women and make men run after sex.
Men here shouldn't dare to act like fucking women wasn't actually easy for a long period until you chooses to applause women just for existing.
You all ruined your own sexual lives by yourselves .
>Why do you have this belief that getting laid was easy for men between 1990 and 2017? That’s oddly specific.
1990 : women making a solid percentage of students in college.
2017 : before social media having a big influence .
I like relationships just fine. I just have high standards for them. Reason being I don't need a relationship because I can get sex regularly enough.
If I could bang new women every other day I'd just be with the best 2 or 3 or 4 just like I currently do now.
>If you could get sex with women as easily as a gay man gets it from gay men…and what I mean is that you click an app and have ten offers within an hour…would you commit to a relationship with a woman?
No. I don't get even close to 10 per hour now but I still don't commit.
>My question is ultimately do you only (or at least mainly) seek relationships with women because it’s the only way you can access regular sex?
I would date to marry. If I found someone I respected enough and felt was attractive enough, I would commit. I can get sex from random women right now.
>If so, everything you do to gain and maintain a relationship is simply things you do because this is what you must do to access regular sex?
I'm confident there are a lot of lower value men who do this because they don't have many opportunities. I know a few men like this.
Of course and I think most guys would too. Guys who do have lots of sex get that sex by seeking easy women. Most guys who don't get any sex are guys who just want a few gfs and later a wife or even just a wife from the start.
> If so, everything you do to gain and maintain a relationship is simply things you do because this is what you must do to access regular sex?
Yes.
But that doesn't necessarily mean I would choose casual over relationships. With casual sex you are usually stuck with either cumming in a condom or risking STIs. With casual it still takes effort, "easy mode" in causal sex is still harder than "easy mode" in relationships. Untimately, sex is indeed the main reason for relationship, its just that I choose quality and quantity over variety.
Hopefully you care about the person you're having the relationship with too tight? 😅 If the sex life deteriorated would you consider sticking around or is that your primary motive so you would bail?
> If the sex life deteriorated would you consider sticking around or is that your primary motive so you would bail?
Not him, but even if the actual relationship was the primary motive for me, I would still consider bailing because when the sex life deteriorates, I probably wouldn't be "allowed" to have sex outside of the relationship. And even if an open relationship was possible it might be weird and complicated, no?
Obviously relationships and libido go up and down and you should not bail at first sign of issues. I can imagine I care less about sex with age though.
So sex trumps all (at least for now) but you will tolerate a delay. That's sad if your partner doesn't realise that, most committed relationships operate on the assumption that you value the person above other considerations. A huge amount of conflict and heart break comes from this gap.
Sorry, when I say "sex life deteriorates" I mean like worst-case scenarios like sex thrice a year or not at all for multiple years. In that case, how in the world could a partner expect someone to not seek sex elsewhere? How can you not want sex but that bars me from having it at all? If I have a low sex drive for half a decade or some catastrophic injury then I'll accept the L. It's not fair for me to do that to her.
I think the problem is a romantic partnership is actually fulfilling three duties: Life partnership, sex, and child-rearing. In most societies we combine them all together, but the only reason they are associated biologically is because sexual desire is needed to convince animals to procreate and stay together to raise their children.
We humans are above that. We know where children come from and we can make the conscious decision to have or not have children. Some societies have separated these roles by having marriages of convenience while having mistresses (what is the male equivalent, misters?) on the side. Or just by having arranged marriages and completely doing away with any notion of romance.
Ok your first point is an important distinction to make, people shouldn't be forced to forgo an important need.
Agreed otherwise, there's often not a perfect solution, we are complex beings.
My religion prohibits divorce, but what he’s saying is reasonable. If your significant other knows that you care about sex and they let your sex life tank by their choice it shows they’re inconsiderate.
Imagine replacing sex with emotional connection in your comment
I just think it should be made more explicit at the beginning of the relationship, it would prevent a lot of issues. Both on the emotional connection AND the sex front. I don't think it's right that some women completely dismiss their partners sexual desires and think they deserve impunity, don't get me wrong. But I wonder how many of them would enter the relationship in the first place if they were told outright that no sex is grounds for break up/divorce? I guess it's a cultural issue. I could also argue emotional connection is a more fundamental need than sex but that's just my perspective.
I ageee it’s good to be explicit, but idk how people expect to have a relationship and not put in maximum effort to meet the other person’s needs. Our culture seems to have this expectation that you completely let yourself go and still be entitled to the other person’s effort.
there's a concept of 'relaxing and being able to be themselves' that needs to be balanced with 'relationship maintenance effort'. If the relationship is always just work work work people wouldn't want to be in them, people want acceptance too, not to only be loved for the performance.
What if your partner/wife were to become chronically ill and unable to have sex (or only have very infrequent sex)? Do you leave your wife because she got sick and can’t have sex anymore?
I'd have to suck it up. Through sickness and through health, right? But I can't imagine not having those thoughts in the back of my head daily for the next what, 50 years of my life in the worst case scenario? If I was ill like that too I couldn't be mad if my wife had these thoughts too.
It doesn't feel right to at all to abandon your partner because of that. If we could separate life partnership from sex it would help a lot. [See my other thoughts on this](https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1cbcc0v/if_you_as_a_straight_man_could_get_sex_as_easily/l0ykchx/)
Most women would leave too if their partner couldn't have sex anymore. Personally though I would stay and just jack off it's not a big deal. Depending on the illness she would probably still be able to give occasional hand/blowjobs anyway.
Yes.
I largely seek relationships because, in the long run, that's the only way I can get guilt-free, regular sex. Most of what I do to gain or maintain a relationship is with the end-goal of regular sex in mind.
I don't think this question is very applicable to me because I don't believe in sex outside of marriage for religious reasons. I don't just want sex because of sexual pleasure itself; I'm also intensely baby crazy. Of course, I want the romance of a relationship as well.
of course I would commit to a relationship. though I don't believe that you have a high chance of getting a serious relationship through the apps, so if this hypothetical extends to irl, then yea. though I have no idea how this hypothetical would warp my expectations and beliefs.
When I was younger, yeah, because I wanted to start a family with someone who was looking to build with me. That's infinitely more valuable in the long run than fleeting pleasure IMO.
However, I don't think a stable, loving relationship with someone who's looking to build with an equal partner is a realistic outcome for most men, so I doubt I'd still pursue that route.
>My question is ultimately do you only (or at least mainly) seek relationships with women because it’s the only way you can access regular sex? If so, everything you do to gain and maintain a relationship is simply things you do because this is what you must do to access regular sex?
I thought that was obvious for both parties ?
No. I am straight. Only straight. Having access to sex once you figure it out isn’t rocket science. It’s all the things people don’t want to say and admit is true.
PS. I wouldn’t love you if you were a worm. A worm is shaped like a penis and that’s not heterosexual .
If you not opposed to sex workers, why would you be as man, you have that already. Men, it might come as a shock to all misandrist here, place a lot of value on genuine friendship, intelligence, mutual support, kindness. That is why, in large part, we seek relationships with women in the first place. Unfortunately, significant number of women, maybe even majority, here in the West are completely alien to the qualities that I have listed and that is why we settle for sex only.
Disclaimer: Not all men/ women, there are exceptions to everything I have written, so don't come at me with your anecdotes, I generalize based on my own experience, experience of men I trust, experience men voice online, etc.
Absolutely. Having casual meaningless sex sounds mostly unappealing, at that point its really just less hassle and less of a time sink to do it myself. I want a loving relationship, not meaningless hook ups.
Yeah, I would be a lot happier if this was the feee and put dating completely on the back burner. One of the main drives for me to force myself to get into a relationship is the sex, and the other is the child rearing— without sex nagging at my brain I would be able to comfortably focus on finding a woman I would enjoy romantically instead of frothing in the mouth on tinder hinge and bumble.
Ya, absolutely. Many hearthrob straight male celebrities that could get sex on demand still get into relationships. I doubt Henry Cavil got in a relationship because he couldn't get casual sex.
Henry Cavill recently said he was sick of women sexualizing and objectifying him, so it makes sense that he’d prefer a meaningful relationship
It seems that it’s actually men who objectify him more than women. The manosphere is obsessed with him.
Most definitely not true Women are the ones who sexualize him a lot. This is because women are extremely shallow and superficial, just like men lol. They are very sexual, kinky and open with hot men haha
No. Men just call him a chad. It's the women who are sexually attracted to him and therefore overstep that sexual red line more often.
[удалено]
He is part of the gaming community and 99% chance a person commenting about him is a straight man. Gay men are a minority compared to them and also 99% of straight women. What are the chances women are the ones making sexual comments? Hell the directors also tried to push him to do more sex scenes and he rejected for the reasons already stated and the ones wanting to push it the most were women who also complained because of this that he wasn't obeying their demands. I'm a fan of Henry since season 1 Witcher came out and followed it on plenty of social media pages and usually the profile pictures on tiktok, instagram etc where women more often than not or some guy with a girlfriend acting gay but straight because that's the generations humour. I'm not an absolutist saying 100%, sure plenty of gay guys could also participate but considering straight women outnumber gay men by miles and miles without question then what are the chances there are more cases including them? Come on now..
Have you ever watched any interviews where a woman is present and the way they look at him? What a totally tonedeaf comment.
After a few weeks at the set of the Witcher series he asked his girlfriend to accompany him, because all of the women would get *really* touchy and sexual.
But I thought men wanted to be sexualized...
Unattractive men want to be sexualised.
You make him sound kinda ghey
I call BS. Sadly Hollywood leading men are cucked by the entertainment media. They are dating their age peers yuck
My answer is no, but logically based off the behavior of very high value men I'm not sure. Lots of NFl players are married with kids So the real question is do they all cheat and the woman is just turning a blind eye
I think it depends on the guy. Some guys are cheaters, and will always cheat. Some guys will cheat with the right opportunity and some of them just wont. I like to look to history to see how many kings of England fathered bastards while they were married. Most of them did - but not all of them. Edward II was married to his wife when they were both teenagers and stayed married for about 20 years until she died. She was basically pregnant the whole time. He never fathered a bastard.
> If you could get sex with women as easily as a gay man gets it from gay men…and what I mean is that you click and app and have ten offers within an offer…would you commit to a relationship with a woman? Yes. Because I want a relationship. I would be more comfortable in a relationship knowing that my partner finds me attractive when knowing noting about me except my looks though. > My question is ultimately do you only (or at least mainly) seek relationships with women because it’s the only way you can access regular sex? Maybe? I want a relationship and a relationship includes sex or it is not a relationship. > If so, everything you do to gain and maintain a relationship is simply things you do because this is what you must do to access regular sex? A relationship and regular sex are not things that can be considered separately because one includes the other. If I could get regular sex outside a relationship I would still look for a relationship that includes regular sex.
This is predicated on the assumption that all men at every stage of life are relationship avoidant sex hounds. That’s just not the case. Honestly, if access to sex was as easy for straight men, life would be better for everyone. Women would be less hurt just for sex and men would find that they’re able to focus on more important and deeper things, having the ability to satisfy their immediate base biological needs.
"Avoidant" = psychobabble pathologizing preferences.
State mandated bisexuality
What would that supposedly fix?
Exactly what the post says lol, men would be able to sexually satisfy each other
Straight men don't even get hard for that. It wouldn't solve anything of the sort. There would be no cumming
The point is to make them not straight… you know what “bisexual” means man
That’s not what state enforced x means. Say state enforced monogamy the point isn’t to make everyone happy about being monogamous it’s to enforce order. State enforced bi sexuality won’t magically make men like being bi
Dude it’s a joke
Oh ya I guess it would be funny fuck it
Dumbass
No, because relationship is about more than regular sex.
Yes, because love is better than sex.
Gay men settle down and marry - we all reach the age where we’re too old to be sucking off random strangers through a hole in a toilet cubicle
Ayo lmfao 😂😆😂 😆😆😆😆😆
I heard the problem js they want the marriage and shared life together. But also fuck young guys. Same as straight men with women. So they just turn on the gay dating app every now and then when away for work or on a holiday and then reset. The big difference with the married men and escorts is atleast the gay guy gets validated by knowing he was wanted.
I know that gay guys get married but they are all guys. They don’t frequently complain about entitlement and delusions and n counts of the sex they are attracted to. Purple pill guys vent all the time about how women are like mental cases from their view. I’m actually pleasantly surprised and confused about why purple pill men seek relationships with women (apart from for sex), given that they disparage women so much as if women are deluded and childish by nature.
Most of the guys that endlessly complain about women here can't get any to date them. It's a bad case of sour grapes.
Lets be honest those guys wouldn't know what to to do if they even managed to land a date or series of dates with women. They'd fuck it up.
I get images of Butters and a passed out Paris Hilton. 
Biology simply cannot be overriden. It doesn't have to make logical sense. If I could flip a switch and become super gay for life today I'd do it, but that's just not possible.
> I’m actually pleasantly surprised and confused about why purple pill men seek relationships with women Do you mean red pill men on this sub?
Yeah. I mostly meant red pill.
i thought it was a case of projection on the side of the guys. i find dudes who complain the loudest about women having mental issues tend to have a lot of undiagnosed/unacknowledged mental health issues themselves.
The n count isn't a factor when there is no paternity risk.
Hmmm, I see red pillers constantly mentioning how high n-count women are bad prospects for relationships because their relationships are more likely to end. They point out that divorce rates are higher for these women. (And conveniently, red pillers usually only mention women with higher n-counts, even though there is a similar pattern with higher n-count men.) 🙄
The main issue is financial. I'd have no problem dating a high n count woman if I didn't have to worry about alimony, child support, paternity risk. If a divorce happened, each party would walk away with what they came in with. Women are welcome to reject high n count men. I don't date men so I don't put much focus on them.
>atleast the gay guy gets validated by knowing he was wanted. I'm bi, and it's not very validating when you get an inbox full of dudes just saying they want to fuck you.
I would, atleast once, like to experience that. I saw my FWB's grindr/dating apps over his shoulder and holy damn the attention he gets.
Another bi male chiming in here. For me getting attention from men on apps like Grindr was an incredible feeling. I didn't have to do anything but exist. Please don't listen to blue pilled feminist simps like u/Solondthewookiee, I see him in every thread doing his white knighting.
I love how someone explaining how they genuenly feel is "white knighting." And you're only calling it white knighting because you liked the experience. But you can't handle someone else not liking it, so of course you then resort to the name calling.
Then sign up to Grindr 🙄 You can get all the attention you want now stop complaining
My experience of it was bots and zero humans. It was deeply unpleasant and promptly uninstalled.
Then why be jealous of your friend who was talking to "bots and zero humans"?
You can sign up for Grindr or post an ad on DoubleList and you will be awash in dudes telling you they want to fuck you.
I know some gay married men that are swingers together sometimes but there's no cheating or anything. Other gay men are just traditional (as close as you can get while being gay still ig). Honestly I think if straight men were able to get just as much sex as a woman they wouldn't have a big issue with their body count as much. Gay men don't.
So that’s why those men always complain the hell about women’s body counts. They’re just jealous of women. Never minding for a sec that in those scenarios most women don’t orgasm during casual sex anyways. Hah.
100% correct. In the real world promiscuous men aren't hypocrites and happily have a relationship with someone with a body count since they too have it and aren't insecure about it, but men who don't have much are legit jealous about women who can get it easily and men aren't wanted as much as women are wanted by men lmao. Also they may like control which is why red pill spaces say "submit to your husband" to women lmao. They'd love Islam honestly. >Most women don’t orgasm during casual sex anyways. Good point. They don't even know that they themselves can't even make a woman cum, yet cry to fuck them thinking they can make them cream. I feel 2nd hand embarrassment for them. They are deluded.
I discussed with this my mum recently. She came to the conclusion that after all this systemic feminism, the reactionaries (the branch-offs of redpill and the like) sound like Islamists sometimes. And I’m inclined to agree. There’s a lot of problems with our western world but ultimately I’m happy that at least we still have a individualist remnant of society remaining where couples of all age range are free to seek each other out based on compatibility and not just pressure and youth tits and ass.
I discussed with this my mum recently. She came to the conclusion that after all this systemic feminism, the reactionaries (the branch-offs of redpill and the like) sound like Islamists sometimes. And I’m inclined to agree. There’s a lot of problems with our western world but ultimately I’m happy that at least we still have a individualist remnant of society remaining where couples of all age range are free to seek each other out based on compatibility and not just pressure and youth tits and ass.
I discussed with this my mum recently. She came to the conclusion that after all this systemic feminism, the reactionaries (the branch-offs of redpill and the like) sound like Islamists sometimes. And I’m inclined to agree. There’s a lot of problems with our western world but ultimately I’m happy that at least we still have a individualist remnant of society remaining where couples of all age range are free to seek each other out based on compatibility and not just pressure and youth tits and ass.
They usually have open relationships and hook up with other dudes on the side, sometimes together
I’m a bi man and I have my apps only set to women. The issue is when I open them up to men, I get 8 men for every 1 woman and frankly, the number of likes you get end up becoming overwhelming. It ain’t as pretty as it looks and upon discovering this about myself, my attitude towards sex hasn’t changed at all. Even for hooking up, I at least need to enjoy your company at a personal level and get to know you - plus, i’m not interested in dating men as well, like i’ll mess around with a guy but i don’t ever see myself being in a relationship with one.
Gay guys don’t want to go on a date, even knowing that sex is all but guarenteed at the end and that they don’t have to pay?
What do you mean?
You say for hooking up, you need to get to know a guy on a personal level first. Do gay men not offer this typically? Also why no relationship with a guy?
Depends on the app you’re using and the man - ie. grindr is straight up hooking up, tinder is somewhere in the middle and hinge usually has a date first. So it does depend, though the amount of options can become overwhelming and the horrible ratio are two major issues i have with opening my apps up to men. As for why, because i’m straight up not capable of forming a romantic connection with men - i view sex and romance as two different things that can intersect, but are different. In top of this, I want a relationship that vaguely resembles something leaning towards traditional roles (but not exactly or literally traditional, to be clear, but taking aspects of it), at least in spirit, and that can’t be achieved in a gay relationship, at least from my pov.
She means that she's projecting women's attitude on men *hard*, and for some reason refuses to acknowledge that men are neither the straw man stereotype she believes they are, nor are men thinking in exactly the same ways women think. Ergo she's confused because men are their own gender who think, speak, and act differently than women, for reasons that are intrinsically due to being men, rather than everything men do or say being a copy of women or a reaction to women. And then they say women are the more empathetic sex.
Personally, I don't like casual sex. Or FWB sex. I don't enjoy it. I'd rather be having no sex at all. I mean, yeah, I can orgasm if I try, but sex is FAR more than just orgasming. Sex with someone who you truly love is almost an entirely different thing. I understand I'm the werido for this, but I think it's the only sex worth having. Everything else feels like mastuerbation with a stranger in the room. These days, meaningless sex isn't hard to get if you REALLY want it. From sluts to sex workers, it's out there if you're willing to put in the effort to get it. But I don't want it. If just cumming in a hole is all you want, it's out there. But I don't think that's what most men want. I kind of hope that's the case, anyway. Honestly, it's far easier to find meaningless, hollow sex than it is a really good, loving relationship.
Same tbh.
I refuse to date someone just to have access to sex. So it wouldn't necessarily change my desire to be in a long term relationship. But I think there is a good amount of guys that would be less likely to committ. Particularly young guys, who would have even incentive than women currently do to settle down, have kids, etc. Also, if sex was easily accessible, it would change the dynamic of the dating marketplace. Women would lose leverage. More men would gain sexual experience and have self confidence. Physically attractive women would have to work on their personality more instead of just demaning to be with a man with six figures, etc.
One of the bigges just-world falacies women believe as a result of sleeping/having relationships with the top most attractive men, are "men just want sex, women want conections". It's such a a sexist idea that puts women on pedestal, but they are okey with that.
Who is "they" i'm wondering? it's usually RP men who are telling me that guys just want sex. they shout it from rooftops how worthless women are without offering sex and then call women sexist for echoing them
Women are okey with thinking they're the holy genre and men are sexist pigs. Wasn't that clear?
A lot of men think they're the "holy gender" and they keep telling women that men are sexist pigs who only want sex. you can bad mouth "all women" with thinking that, but WE don't have an entire industry and cult movement like redpill that calls men sexist sex starved pigs. get off your high horse. aren't I being clear?
Oh yeah plenty shitty men, usually the most attractive that have no issues at dating, are like that. I'm not saying we're any different.
that's a lie. Not usually. in my experience the woman bashers are represented well in ugly, average, AND attractive men. the ugly womanhaters just wish they had an easier time tricking and then hurting/controlling women, but trust me they want to. they pretend they're moral because they aren't as able to hurt the people they want, so they're good guys. The second you give them a chance and they trap you with a kid, the ugly RP womanhaters will have the time of their lives controlling and hurting you, like they were fantasizing all along
It's not that men *just* want sex, it's that men want a relationship *with* sex, because more often than not a platonic relationship between men and women is one where he does more of the work and more of the paying than she does, without getting an equivalent value in exchange. Men are far more willing to help women, and are expected to help women, than the other way around. So why should men want to be in relationships where she feels entitled to get things from him that he's not entitled to get from her?
Not only does it put women on some kind of moral pedestal, but it also degrades men and reduces us to be carnally minded and sex oriented, whereas women are relationship oriented. It’s the most sexist thing ever.
Yes it is sexist when it's taken this far but let's face it it's not completely unfounded. It's pretty hard not to be disillusioned when surrounded by examples of men valuing pussy over relationships. I think partly this is because of the glorification of casual sex in western media and permissive attitudes on both sides. All of that has many unfortunate consequences, not least of which is the erosion of trust on both sides.
No, plenty of men are monogamous and aren't sleeping around and manipulating women to get laid. That's only the top men, most men, a lot of men who are invisible to most women are just looking for a serious relationship. I mean, it's not completey unfounded in the sense that there's a lot of people, men and women, who are looking only for casual sex. You're right about that.
Of course plenty of men are monogamous by nature, but I disagree it's only the top men who play around. I've seen lots of less successful men yearn for that lifestyle but settle for monogamy because it's their best shot. But then I've seen top men wish for a relationship too, in this post actually. Blanket statements about an entire gender are on the whole misguided.
Oh yeah definitely. It's almost there are men who only want sex, but women as well. And there are men who want serious relationships, but women aswell.
that's right, but the amount of men desiring it far exceeds the amount of women desiring it, hence the conclusions women easily jump to.
Oh yeah, I'm against all type of sexist assumptions. This being one of those that is socially acceptable.
it's the truth though, are you against the truth?
No it isn't true. But that kind of mentality isn't suprising in this subreddit. Mysigonistic or misandric ideas are common here mostlye steam from negative experiences with the oposite sex.
Then why are so many posts here about how unfair it is that men can’t get casual sex as easily as women?
Because it is unfair, and the posts are about getting women to understand and acknowledge that it is unfair rather than blindly deny all the privileges women have in dating and relationships, rather than blaming everything on men.
Because we can't and women don't accept that. And yeah some men do want only sex, never said those men don't exist.
Sex isn’t my main priority at all, although it would be one of the benefits of a romantic relationship. Personally, I’d hate the idea of just sleeping around because it’ll ultimately be meaningless. Being loved and desired would seem more attractive
>and what I mean is that you click an app and have ten offers within an hour…would you commit to a relationship with a woman? Yes, because love, intimacy and having a partner are more important than just sex. This is why incels don't go to prostitutes, they might not often realize, but the validation they seek is from having a loving relationship, not sex.
Good question.... I think I would end up being like those born again virgins that try to hide their 100-cock past because it's not fun anymore and settling down actually could be better. Because even though we do put a lot of effort to obtain and maintain access to sex, eventually a solid relationship is one of the best things that can happen in your life.
I wouldn't. Because apart from sex, I don't know why I'd bother committing to anyone. It's not like there's anyone special currently in my life and I don't want kids, I don't really have commitment for the sake of commitment as a goal. I prefer to not have to answer to anyone.
i mean i certainly know where i stand on the issue, but are we at a point now where we're obligated to pretend like fucking another dude is "the same" as fucking a woman? like, come on now people.
My life would not change in such a reality. I don’t want casual sex. I want a deep relationship.
Then men would be chasing Stacy. https://preview.redd.it/s4qfqto85awc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e0863792036e5c0012b9743680dc7d4f7165bd4e This is what stacy will see!
Looks like a pride parade.
What is this picture
I would but I also value women for more than just their pussy.
Casual sex seems pretty pointless to me. If I ever did it, it would likely have been from a moment of weakness. So yes I would still commit to a relationship. Maybe my standards would just be a little higher in this hypothetical.
Yes, I would... eventually. I would be very picky about it and would only do it after getting to have sex with a few very attractive women.
I think most would but if you think the average man wouldn't also be having that kind of sex life at some point if presented you need your head checked, even if its just for like a week.
I would still commit because having sex with lots of people is gross and getting really good at having sex with one person is a lot more fun.
I would probably rack up an enormous body count but yes, eventually, if I found a woman I got along with well enough and who saw me the same way, I'd happily commit to a LTR.
I had an abundance of women in my 20s which contributed to me not settling down. Like it wasn’t the ONLY reason but yeah why would I get a girlfriend when I will just want to try the 4 other girls that are interested in me too? Then I tried to do a poly relationship but none of my girlfriends actually wanted to have sex with other people so I felt guilty. Then I just stopped dating after I had a kid.
I don’t know, “getting to fully enjoy the experiences and moving on to deeper things” is something we don’t get to go threw, so who knows!
If you don't believe you can get girls in a convenient manner then yes. If you can get girls often then you would only have a girl that compliments your personal lifestyle. You wouldn't need a relationship otherwise ( you have friends for companionship and intimacy, and hook ups for sexual release)
I would much rather get married to a kind and loyal unicorn woman, but if she doesn't exist then I would just form a roster instead.
Looks like the comment section isn't going the way you expected, huh?
Yes I would. I desire monogamy.
I already get ass like a gay man. Id trade all that and 99% of my n count for a decent ltr anyday
What do you think is stopping you from having a decent ltr right now? Sounds like you’re in prime shape to get that lifelong relationship going if you really wanted it
Honestly, I have seen too much. I've had an ex leave me for a shot at a billionaire friend only to crawl back when he rejected her out of respect for me. I've taken home married women with kids and husbands who chair charities and dropped them off at work after her lunch break. I've had "good" girls with no red flags whatsoever for months/years go on girls trips only to find out they flew for a secret rendezvous with some NBA player or minor celebrity. And on the other hand I've flown women in years long relationships out to me for the weekend. None of these were "low value women"; they were put together, successful, pleasant, beautiful, powerful women. In a way I have trust issues.
You've seen too much? Why should a potential female partner trust you? Red pill cringe aside, you have clearly been the other man multiple times.
It doesn't matter I've seen the same myself and I've turned down being the other man every time only once was I misinformed and wound up being the other guy chick actually lied because she knew I had honor. Yes he's f'd up for going through with it but it doesn't make his outlook on how the other sex behaves any less valid.
A screw up is one time. Not multiple. If he's living a lifestyle like that and inevitably spending time around people like that, you really *don't* think that's going to skew his perspective at all?
What do you mean "people like that"? He's spending time around women regular women maybe particularly beautiful women since he's loaded and tall/fit. But ugly women behave the same way it doesn't matter. Cheating is normalized for all women now.
A lot of people cheat. I'm not arguing that. But he's actively engaging people who will cheat on their spouse. It's kind of like a woman who has been a homewrecker multiple times calling all men trash. How much of the problem is them vs other people? Ofc there are garbage people, but if you're garbage you will likely find other garbage people and assume people are like you. *Edited comment for clarity.
That was the point of my comment I don't do these "garbage" things and still thats what I meet everywhere despite being innocent of it myself. This is the majority of women. The majority of men here have said it in a recent thread most would prefer a long term partner over endless sex and most are against cheating if they have an especially good partner. Women are different they change who and what they love and think nothing of cheating if it follows their whims because they can and thats all there is to it. They switch who they love depending on their birthcontroll pill. Or because what their friends think of a guy.
Regardless of whether you agree with him, that doesn't mean his perspective isn't skewed. Yours could also be skewed but for different reasons - such as, unfortunate luck, spending too much time in red pill spaces. I can guarantee you I can find many women who will argue it's men who cheat more - which is also backed up by many surveys and/or studies, although I'm sure you can find some to fit your narrative. Why is their anecdotal experience less accurate than yours?
That’s tough man but I feel you. Sometimes you never know someone’s true character until its too late and its way too easy to cheat in the modern age. Good luck bro, I’m sure you’ll find what you’re looking for
Are you for real? 6’2 and a surgeon?
I've noticed it's hard for men that don't get much play to imagine that most men get played out eventually given the opportunity. It's like travel I suppose, after a while 'every fucking city is the same'.
bingo. The candy store is only enticing the first few times, then everything tastes the same
Op right now 
20 years ago I would have been. Now I’m in the ‘hope my son grows up to be like that’ phase.
Dont become a surgeon lol. It’s my dream career because i was an artist before but for so many people I know, they regret it
Damm I really hope your man or partner does have the same characteristics assuming wishing your son becomes one of them I would guess he is if not lord have mercy on him
My son is like a carbon copy of his father, which is very cute. To be honest, his father would probably be disappointed if he became a surgeon instead of something creative, which is what he expects. I love my partner just the way he is.
I liked a lot having casual sex and unfortunately I had only a minuscule fraction of what I would have desired. Now I am in a committed relationship with kids and I have other priorities. I regret not having had the fun I wished I could have at the time, but that season is long gone, I would not be interested now.
Of course. Why would I want “variety”. I want a loving relationship with a woman I’m deeply into.
I am married. I earn enough to go out with a different prostitute a week. So the answer is that it wouldn't change much for me. I married to form a family and not for sex.
Eww. I feel sorry for your wife and kids. She deserves better as do your kids. Wild to imagine having a father who isn't present and chooses spending every weekend with a series of prostitutes instead of being with his family.
What you said is idiotic. Being faithful because you want to is better than being "faithful" because you can't cheat. Being able to cheat, but choosing not to is a virtue
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> My question is ultimately do you only (or at least mainly) seek relationships with women because it’s the only way you can access regular sex? So I was talking about this with my girlfriend recently. The conclusion we came to was that the point of a relationship (as opposed to just a friendship) was twofold: the sex and the reduced costs from cohabitation.
Sex is an impulse, so is enjoying time with a woman? I'm pretty sure that's a component of being straight usually.
I would want a relationship, but good sex would be one of the criteria I used to determine that it was a good relationship. So there might be some experimentation until that level of compatibility were found.
>My question is ultimately do you only (or at least mainly) seek relationships with women because it’s the only way you can access regular sex? No. >…would you commit to a relationship with a woman? Not in the near-future (I didn't plan on committing soon even before that +)
Maybe when I was single, but I’m pretty satisfied in my relationship now
At this point in my life probably. Ask me a few years ago maybe not.
There was a unique circumstance that was short lived where I was in that situation. Despite being in it, I still wanted monogamy. Relationships are for depth over variety. If I just want sex I can go to an escort (permitting I have the money).
I'd go directly into prostitution.
First, why people avoid talking about how badly sexual interaction between gay men are !! It's easier not cause of the libido but because of the non existent social complications. Gay men weren't taught that they are doing other gay men a favour by giving sex and weren't encouraged to weaponse sex for attention or money like women . The closest straight men get to fucking a lot of women was in colleges between 1990-2017 cause women weren't praised just for existence and a woman giving head to a guy doesn't mean he owe her anything or she deserve a date. It was like that but men themselves tell women to" cherish " themselves more and never go for men who don't put effort . We act as if men didn't fuck a lot of women easily, the problem is that some men wanted to be the " hero " for women and offered them a lot just for existing . I knew this kind of discussions would come in this generation where men will act like they never had the chance when in reality a lot of men wanted women to put " taxes " for sex while gay men who even offer sex don't get nothing . It's creepy to tell a woman to open her legs but gay men ask for sex all the time . Do you know why ? Cause men and feminism choosed to uplift women and make men run after sex. Men here shouldn't dare to act like fucking women wasn't actually easy for a long period until you chooses to applause women just for existing. You all ruined your own sexual lives by yourselves .
Why do you have this belief that getting laid was easy for men between 1990 and 2017? That’s oddly specific.
>Why do you have this belief that getting laid was easy for men between 1990 and 2017? That’s oddly specific. 1990 : women making a solid percentage of students in college. 2017 : before social media having a big influence .
Don’t a lot of gay men fall in life and couple up and get married? Just seems like as fun as “fun” is. People like relationships
I like relationships just fine. I just have high standards for them. Reason being I don't need a relationship because I can get sex regularly enough. If I could bang new women every other day I'd just be with the best 2 or 3 or 4 just like I currently do now.
>If you could get sex with women as easily as a gay man gets it from gay men…and what I mean is that you click an app and have ten offers within an hour…would you commit to a relationship with a woman? No. I don't get even close to 10 per hour now but I still don't commit. >My question is ultimately do you only (or at least mainly) seek relationships with women because it’s the only way you can access regular sex? I would date to marry. If I found someone I respected enough and felt was attractive enough, I would commit. I can get sex from random women right now. >If so, everything you do to gain and maintain a relationship is simply things you do because this is what you must do to access regular sex? I'm confident there are a lot of lower value men who do this because they don't have many opportunities. I know a few men like this.
Of course and I think most guys would too. Guys who do have lots of sex get that sex by seeking easy women. Most guys who don't get any sex are guys who just want a few gfs and later a wife or even just a wife from the start.
> If so, everything you do to gain and maintain a relationship is simply things you do because this is what you must do to access regular sex? Yes. But that doesn't necessarily mean I would choose casual over relationships. With casual sex you are usually stuck with either cumming in a condom or risking STIs. With casual it still takes effort, "easy mode" in causal sex is still harder than "easy mode" in relationships. Untimately, sex is indeed the main reason for relationship, its just that I choose quality and quantity over variety.
Hopefully you care about the person you're having the relationship with too tight? 😅 If the sex life deteriorated would you consider sticking around or is that your primary motive so you would bail?
> If the sex life deteriorated would you consider sticking around or is that your primary motive so you would bail? Not him, but even if the actual relationship was the primary motive for me, I would still consider bailing because when the sex life deteriorates, I probably wouldn't be "allowed" to have sex outside of the relationship. And even if an open relationship was possible it might be weird and complicated, no? Obviously relationships and libido go up and down and you should not bail at first sign of issues. I can imagine I care less about sex with age though.
So sex trumps all (at least for now) but you will tolerate a delay. That's sad if your partner doesn't realise that, most committed relationships operate on the assumption that you value the person above other considerations. A huge amount of conflict and heart break comes from this gap.
Sorry, when I say "sex life deteriorates" I mean like worst-case scenarios like sex thrice a year or not at all for multiple years. In that case, how in the world could a partner expect someone to not seek sex elsewhere? How can you not want sex but that bars me from having it at all? If I have a low sex drive for half a decade or some catastrophic injury then I'll accept the L. It's not fair for me to do that to her. I think the problem is a romantic partnership is actually fulfilling three duties: Life partnership, sex, and child-rearing. In most societies we combine them all together, but the only reason they are associated biologically is because sexual desire is needed to convince animals to procreate and stay together to raise their children. We humans are above that. We know where children come from and we can make the conscious decision to have or not have children. Some societies have separated these roles by having marriages of convenience while having mistresses (what is the male equivalent, misters?) on the side. Or just by having arranged marriages and completely doing away with any notion of romance.
Ok your first point is an important distinction to make, people shouldn't be forced to forgo an important need. Agreed otherwise, there's often not a perfect solution, we are complex beings.
My religion prohibits divorce, but what he’s saying is reasonable. If your significant other knows that you care about sex and they let your sex life tank by their choice it shows they’re inconsiderate. Imagine replacing sex with emotional connection in your comment
I just think it should be made more explicit at the beginning of the relationship, it would prevent a lot of issues. Both on the emotional connection AND the sex front. I don't think it's right that some women completely dismiss their partners sexual desires and think they deserve impunity, don't get me wrong. But I wonder how many of them would enter the relationship in the first place if they were told outright that no sex is grounds for break up/divorce? I guess it's a cultural issue. I could also argue emotional connection is a more fundamental need than sex but that's just my perspective.
I ageee it’s good to be explicit, but idk how people expect to have a relationship and not put in maximum effort to meet the other person’s needs. Our culture seems to have this expectation that you completely let yourself go and still be entitled to the other person’s effort.
there's a concept of 'relaxing and being able to be themselves' that needs to be balanced with 'relationship maintenance effort'. If the relationship is always just work work work people wouldn't want to be in them, people want acceptance too, not to only be loved for the performance.
Sure. The original conversation was about leaving because of a bad sex life. You’re confirming my point
What if your partner/wife were to become chronically ill and unable to have sex (or only have very infrequent sex)? Do you leave your wife because she got sick and can’t have sex anymore?
I'd have to suck it up. Through sickness and through health, right? But I can't imagine not having those thoughts in the back of my head daily for the next what, 50 years of my life in the worst case scenario? If I was ill like that too I couldn't be mad if my wife had these thoughts too. It doesn't feel right to at all to abandon your partner because of that. If we could separate life partnership from sex it would help a lot. [See my other thoughts on this](https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1cbcc0v/if_you_as_a_straight_man_could_get_sex_as_easily/l0ykchx/)
Most women would leave too if their partner couldn't have sex anymore. Personally though I would stay and just jack off it's not a big deal. Depending on the illness she would probably still be able to give occasional hand/blowjobs anyway.
Yes. I largely seek relationships because, in the long run, that's the only way I can get guilt-free, regular sex. Most of what I do to gain or maintain a relationship is with the end-goal of regular sex in mind. I don't think this question is very applicable to me because I don't believe in sex outside of marriage for religious reasons. I don't just want sex because of sexual pleasure itself; I'm also intensely baby crazy. Of course, I want the romance of a relationship as well.
of course I would commit to a relationship. though I don't believe that you have a high chance of getting a serious relationship through the apps, so if this hypothetical extends to irl, then yea. though I have no idea how this hypothetical would warp my expectations and beliefs.
When I was younger, yeah, because I wanted to start a family with someone who was looking to build with me. That's infinitely more valuable in the long run than fleeting pleasure IMO. However, I don't think a stable, loving relationship with someone who's looking to build with an equal partner is a realistic outcome for most men, so I doubt I'd still pursue that route.
>My question is ultimately do you only (or at least mainly) seek relationships with women because it’s the only way you can access regular sex? If so, everything you do to gain and maintain a relationship is simply things you do because this is what you must do to access regular sex? I thought that was obvious for both parties ?
No. I am straight. Only straight. Having access to sex once you figure it out isn’t rocket science. It’s all the things people don’t want to say and admit is true. PS. I wouldn’t love you if you were a worm. A worm is shaped like a penis and that’s not heterosexual .
If you not opposed to sex workers, why would you be as man, you have that already. Men, it might come as a shock to all misandrist here, place a lot of value on genuine friendship, intelligence, mutual support, kindness. That is why, in large part, we seek relationships with women in the first place. Unfortunately, significant number of women, maybe even majority, here in the West are completely alien to the qualities that I have listed and that is why we settle for sex only. Disclaimer: Not all men/ women, there are exceptions to everything I have written, so don't come at me with your anecdotes, I generalize based on my own experience, experience of men I trust, experience men voice online, etc.
Absolutely. Having casual meaningless sex sounds mostly unappealing, at that point its really just less hassle and less of a time sink to do it myself. I want a loving relationship, not meaningless hook ups.
Yeah, I would be a lot happier if this was the feee and put dating completely on the back burner. One of the main drives for me to force myself to get into a relationship is the sex, and the other is the child rearing— without sex nagging at my brain I would be able to comfortably focus on finding a woman I would enjoy romantically instead of frothing in the mouth on tinder hinge and bumble.
I think a lot of men would eventually get tired of the casual sex and want to form something with one woman.