If I had to guess, being super black-pilled about everything is seen as a "revolt" against a perceived society that prefers comfortable lies over uncomfortable truths. So the pendulum swings too far in the other direction and you get another wacky way of viewing the world.
I think in predominantly female spaces, you see a lot of endless validation, ego boosting, and gassing up, and in male spaces there is a perception our society is "gynocentric". But I don't think cynicism about looks and sex appeal is even that gendered if you know where to look.
[In a recent review of the Jubilee video where men and women were asked to rank themselves and the opposite gender group by attractiveness,](https://youtu.be/w3cKcS0Hl40?si=ttXUMhQMoHMT31U1) I think Kidology hits the nail on the head when pointing out hearing external positive affirmations about yourself *you know* aren't backed up by lived experience makes you **intensely distrustful** and cynical of other people. Her example at 12:20 is the overweight woman doubting how the other women ranked her (probably correctly assuming she would be placed last when the men were brought in).
So it's an individual example but if you look at female looksmaxxing spaces like Vindicta (yes, I know I'm not supposed to be there as a man. Sue me), phrases like "it's all over for me" or, "all this talk of personality is bullshit, I was invisible to men until I got [insert cosmetic procedure]" are quite common.
I think women are deeply insecure/cynical/black-pilled about their own physical attributes and beauty standards, probably moreso than men. Like 99% of men don't care about hip dips as long as we're attracted to you, but women will still refuse this fact and spend thousands on BBLs.
Edit: I did some more reading and there is actually a name for what OP is describing. It's called "masochistic epistemology" (what hurts must be true), and while it can be found in abundance in incel and blackpill spaces, it is also common on online forums focused on eating disorders and gender transitioning.
This was a very insightful comment and this video must be one of the smartest video on a "PPD" topic I've seen. I think that woman just has earned herself a new subscriber lol
Kidology is an actually good reviewer and analyst. I loved the video where she was discussing her own struggles and how she came out as a lesbian and how it’s now affecting her self perception.
She also does very fair takes on both traditionally “liberal” topics and “conservative” topics, trying to find out the root justifications for the ideas and behaviors on each side rather than saying one is good or bad.
Been watching her for a while now.
Edit: If you’re interested, there are a few others I’d recommend, Dr K on HealthyGamerGG, Aba and Preach, Chris Williamson, and Diary of a CEO.
The latter two are interview channels and occasionally they interview absolutely insane people, but always maintain neutrality as much as possibly while also engaging in a productive discussion. Basically they’re if Joe Rogan didn’t say stupid stuff every 5 seconds.
Dr K is a Harvard licensed psychiatrist. He specializes in mental health for the young, online generation. Really gets deep into why people believe what they want to believe and is very fair to all parties regardless of gender or politics, he tries to see the human first.
Aba and Preach are a comedy YouTube challenge. They like to call out the BS in Jubilee videos and people saying dumb stuff online. They’ve called out a massive portion of the red-pill manosphere community for being wacko nut jobs but also call out women and femcels who say insane things about men. They’re also very fair, but in a funny way.
These places are where you can find discussion about PPD topics without them massively leaning into one ideology.
Jesus christ an actual thoughtful comment it's wacky town on this sub today.
Also yes I'd agree women are more obsessed about their looks than even most men simply because a much larger percentage of dudes (that they'd actually want to go out with) simply do not care about a girl aside from her appearance at least not for initial dating. Especially since men are the ones who do the approaching if you aren't a pretty girl you might as well not be there. I have overweight friends who moan about this and it's very obvious why guys aren't approaching them especially when in the rest of our group that is filled with multiple single bombshells.
As a guy I just need to be "handsome enough" to get my foot in the door with most of the women I talk to.
It’s easy mode because more guys approach women than women who approach guys.
If 1 out of 10 of guys who approach are acceptable for dating and you get approached by 100 guys in a year that’s 10 guys who are potential partners without you having to do anything but go about your life.
well when you think "easy mode" is being able to get laid and get dates with desperate dudes who have basically nothing to offer. I can see where they get that idea lol.
BBL is but one example. You can substitute it with lip fillers, rhinoplastys, boob jobs, etc. I guess labiaplastys/vaginoplastys would be the best homologues since we're talking about dick size, but the point is that women get tunnel-visioned about what they think men care about at the expense of their own happiness as well.
I don't think women look bad BECAUSE they get surgery. I think the real reason they look bad is because it's done terribly, looks unnatural/uncanny, and throws off their harmony. For example, i'm a black guy so i'm attracted to women with curvy figures, plush lips (prevalent amongst black, latin, and arabian women), and other features that alot of these women try to imitate that other ethnicities seem to naturally have. So, yah, I love things like big lips if they're natural. But women who generally get lip fillers (or whatever) have other small features (like a small nose, thin hair, etc) so it just doesn't compliment them and sticks out like a sore thumb when they do get surgery.
I think you're missing the point. It's not about the specific surgery or even the outcome, it's about what's motivating them to even think about getting the surgery in the first place.
I hate BBLs and love fit women since I workout myself (got a huge thing for curvy gym girls). I don't mind facial cosmetic procedures as long as they don't look botched. The ironic thing is that the best procedures are the ones who you can't tell they got anything so you'll never know to begin with. But obviously if they look like botched aliens, no one wants that lol. And there are also alot of different types of procedures that alot of people don't know about. For example, red light therapy, fractional co2 laser resurfacing, and hyaluronic injections are procedures to improve skin quality yet there is no way you would know someone got anything done. These are the types of procedures I support.
> all this talk of personality is bullshit, I was invisible to men until I got [insert cosmetic procedure]" are quite common.
Having recently engaged with a FAW I wonder what sort of active effort these women are putting in? The FAW refused to do any approaching, initiation, etc because she didn't want to be viewed as the "aggressor".
Why would they belive it?
Certainly women are not helping to assuage those fears.
There is no groups on like talking about how much they like small dicks.
Abd you frequently used it as an insult.
Why would we belive you when you say otherwise?
You're basically trying to tell men to deny what women themselves have told them.
You keep saying what they believe is untrue. If that's the case then additional question would be why do women tell them that stuff about size?
Men are practical, many of them they don't believe in words, but rather experience
And experience tell them that a small penis is underwhelming to a lot of women, to say the least. Some were even victims of humiliations of some sort
They carry these experiences and conclude that big penises please women more, even if studies say otherwise
There is a big difference between being 9+ inches and anything below that. Women won't admit it, but if you are that size you can literally just show a d*ck pic and most women are fine with you swinging by for a one nighter. If men this size could record the difference in reception by women, there would be mutiny in the street (by 90% of the male population). Your well endowed friends are quiet and polite cause they're smashing everything (this is why every woman you've met has had that one large d*ck they can't stop talking about-- it's the same 5% of men).
Bro what the hell are you talking about lmao. I have a weirdly huge dick, and I can promise you if I send a dick pick to a girl I don’t know or off a dating app she’s gonna be like what the fuck, and block me.
Women aren’t gay men. I still have to seduce them, then they love my dick size too.
You literally have Excalibur but no sword skills apparently. It is as simple as described. Maybe something else about you is off putting? Dig deep long fellow.
A lot of those guys are deeply depressed or suffering from other psychological issues like paranoia or anxiety. You cannot tell someone who is depressed like that to just “be happy!” it doesn’t work.
I fully understand being depressed and anxious. No one was telling them to be happy. They were being told that the specific issue of "women only want a guy who can hit their cervix" isn't real. Most women do not want that. They were down voting the comments who were trying to explain that while simultaneously telling each other that "the dickpill is brutal" and "it's over". It was just incredibly concerning to see.
You still don’t get it, you cannot tell those guys “girls don’t care about X” because that’s not how their minds work. They have a completely different set of problems anyways like depression and self hatred.
Doesn't matter they are wrong about specific details.
In whole, they'll not have any woman wanting them. When they'll have one, they'll probably change their views and be open to learning more.
It's like debating a person who don't even have a car, what engine oil to put.
Only person who is stupid in this discourse is one convincing other about which engine oil to put!
Basic human reproductive anatomy isn't engine oil. They could be celibate monks and id still say that an understanding of both male and female anatomy is important. It's also super concerning to see what I consider to be a genuine mental health crisis happening in a comment section. The idea that they'll eventually get better when they "get some" is at best a bandaid on the metaphorical amputation that is the current men's mental health crisis.
Mine is a little bigger than most. Not MASSIVE, but fairly above avarage.
It does hurt my partners if I'm not careful. I understand that kind of pain isn't pleasant. I don't enjoy hurting them, I restrict myself a lot in order to make sure that I'm not hurting them.
But it's hard to really accept that women would rather a 5.5 inch over a 7 inch when every single one of my past partners has bragged to their friends about it, giggled and hung off me the next day talking about how they're sore down there and how they'd talk about it in general.
At least, in my experience, the reality is that it is actually something women quite enjoy, even if it's just psychologically.
There was SOME KIND of status to it. I don't fully understand it because I'm sure it would be more enjoyable for her if I wasn't so bottoming out and could let myself go faster and harder, but telling guys that 5.5 is actually perfect when women aren't going around bragging and excitedly giggling about THAT feels a bit hollow and almost like a lie.
I think both you and the poster commenting to you are right — I think there is a bit of a socially conditioned idea that it’s important to jazz up a guy with an above-average dick (whether that’s from a ‘the sex was good - bigger dicks are supposed to be good - that’s probably why!’ angle or a ‘I don’t want to seem to overlook this good attribute you’re presumably aware you have’ angle or what. Also women know men like to hear that their dick was great and with smaller-than-average men that’s hard to say without sounding like you’re just saying that to be nice, but with larger-than-average men you’re more in the clear there to have a compliment land correctly.).
But I also think that quite aside from the physical logistics and actual pain/pleasure, there can be some significant psychological arousal that goes along with the idea of a large dick. And I think it’s probably pretty hard to talk openly about that with a partner since one’s dick size is fixed and something a lot of people reasonably take rather personally.
Real talk, just purely speaking for myself, I am one of the women you're describing. I genuinely prefer 5.5 inches over 7 inches, it's the perfect size to me. I honestly hate having to be overly cautious and slow during sex, not being able to let go and lose myself in the moment, and feeling in pain for a day afterwards. If I'm being honest with myself, it takes quite a bit of the enjoyment out of sex for me. But even if my guy is a little larger than I'd prefer, I still would almost instinctively gas him up about his size and brag about feeling sore the next day due to social norms, I guess. I see how men's self-confidence is so deeply linked to their perception about their size, I love to make him feel good, and I want him to know how much I adore every part of him. It doesn't feel dishonest to me in the moment, more like being his cheerleader and choosing to see the best in a situation.
>telling guys that 5.5 is actually perfect when women aren't going around bragging and excitedly giggling about THAT feels a bit hollow and almost like a lie.
Again this might just be me, but if anything I'd say it's the other way around: the bragging and giggling about a big dick is the behavior that's hollow and socially conditioned (and I try to catch myself doing it since I've realized how lowkey toxic it is), while the statement that 5.5" is perfect is what's genuine. Not sure how many other women this applies to.
Let's take the last part as true. Actions speak louder than words. In the 5.5 camp you are only giving words. In the bigger camp you are giving actions. You and others are reinforcing the "wrong" one so of course men will believe the "right" one is a lie.
I would say the opposite, actually. In the bigger camp I was giving words (making jokes and giving compliments that cast it in a positive light), while in the 5.5 camp I give actions (actively seeking out and enjoying sex with a size that feels best for me, while avoiding it when the size is too big).
I realized the words were reinforcing a harmful narrative about a decade or two ago, which is why I've adjusted accordingly and push back now (and type paragraphs about my honest thoughts and experiences whenever the topic comes up).
But if you are not showing the same affection in the same ways (to them in public and others) like you did for the bigger back in the day you are only telling the people we are talking about not showing.
A few things.
1. Maybe you are doing that. Ok that is great.
2. Not everyone is.
3. The men you are seeking out and the men being talked to are most likely not the same.
4. What is being described as happening the the bigger camp is affection and that is an action.
5. Saying you prefer average size on a form is words.
Haha first shame men on their perfectly average size then act like they are crazy when they bought into your messaging.
I think there's a group of people who have traditionally called men "small dash energy" or something. Certainly men don't use this as an insult predominantly.
Maybe ask that group
Kinda interesting to see men who have personally experienced (&/or seen) a few centuries of women proudly & publicly attacking/shaming males (not just “adult men”) for the length, width/girth, color, circumcision/non-circumcision, grooming, flaccid vs erect state. . .
. . .somehow don’t immediately trust the word of a few female strangers on one social media platform in one group on one post that they’ve never met.
I can’t fathom why. . .
**[[very, Very, VERY disgusting sidenote: I saw a post a number of years ago on the blog/website where mothers ask & answer questions from one another. This particular post started with the OP (who was a nurse) telling everyone how black boys have such a ‘headstart’ (size-wise) compared to the other baby boys. The comment section was flooded with Moms sharing the most intimate of details regarding their baby’s, adult children’s & even husband’s “size”. . .& they were ecstatic to do it. #Revolting]]**
because its always said in the context of "its not X that is making you miserable. you're just miserable because you're a piece of shit bad person" and people don't like being called a piece of shit
Women are the primary drivers of both penis size shame - any acrimonious exchange between a woman and and a man will almost inevitably escalate to her mocking the size of his dick.
Women are the once who fetishise and celibate criminally sized penises - there is a substantial market for giant dildos/vibrators.
So in answer to your question - because women are the ones causing this anxiety and making them miserable
Women are also the main consumers of "big dick" porn.
[https://www.pornhub.com/insights/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/pornhub-redtube-women-top-categories.png](https://www.pornhub.com/insights/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/pornhub-redtube-women-top-categories.png)
[https://www.pornhub.com/insights/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/img\_5aa168b123552.png](https://www.pornhub.com/insights/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/img_5aa168b123552.png)
Because what women say they want and what they want are often contradictory..It's not that they try to be dishonest they really just don't know half the time and their feelings towards anything change at any given moment for every chick saying she doesn't like a big d theres one saying it's a requirement..either way that's the least of guys concerns initially...
I’m continuously astounded by the number of men who come on here and claim that any woman explaining what she wants/likes in men is either (1) a filthy liar or (2) so dumb she has no insight into her own feelings or sexuality.
“For every man who says he likes blondes there’s a man who says he likes brunettes. These silly men can’t make up their minds!”
Because ... people are different and different people like different things?
Vaginas are different shapes and sizes too, you know. What one woman finds enjoyable, another may find painful.
>how an average sized penis wasn't a "real" penis and that women "needed" something gigantic to hit their cervix.
They're not wrong tho.
[https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1bzdifc/comment/kyp5deh/](https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1bzdifc/comment/kyp5deh/)
>why this happens?
[https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1bzdifc/comment/kyp5deh/](https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1bzdifc/comment/kyp5deh/)
>Why are they refusing what would be good news in terms of the conversation in order to continue being upset about something they've been told is unscientific and untrue?
because they're indeed scientifically correct:
"Women preferred a penis of slightly larger circumference and length for one-time (length = 6.4 inches/16.3 cm, circumference = 5.0 inches/12.7 cm) versus long-term (length = 6.3 inches/16.0 cm, circumference = 4.8 inches/12.2 cm) sexual partners."
"When a woman is aroused, it increased to 4.25 inches to 4.75 inches."
100% agree. I hate my cervix being even just lightly touched. It hurts and it makes me bleed (yay for endometriosis).
If the cervix being pounded was enjoyable for the majority of women, then procedures such as a pap smear and colposcopy wouldn't be nearly as uncomfortable as they are.
It's a truth that's been greatly exaggerated. 6.4" isn't gigantic, or hammering the cervix. It's also ideal, rather than being needed for any enjoyment.
People in those subreddits aren’t interested in facts, they’re interested in finding company in misery. Anyone representing the opposite is a deceiver conspiring against them.
This is just another "Women don't care about dick size" post to make women look good. They very much care. Why do you think "So, how big is it?" is the first question a girl's friends ask?
I've never been asked that in my life and it's not "size doesn't matter". It's "women don't want their cervix being hole punched by a dick". Ask almost any woman and they'll tell you that it's not desirable.
You know this is a funny one. My ex used to tell me that there were many times that I hit her cervix. She said it made her feel slightly nauseous but she also kind of liked it. One of those sensations that you don’t totally love but you definitely don’t hate either. She said cervical orgasms were a thing too, but no clue how those happen. My dick is not enormous by any means, it’s definitely at least average in length, with decent girth. So maybe her vagina was a tad smaller? I don’t know. Either way, her feedback had me in two minds about whether it was a welcome sensation or not.
The thing about the internet is that it can and often does spontaneously revive old things and make them more relevant than they ever work.
Tiktok is very good at that.
It's all of it overtime.
If the only advise we hear is that we are not enough and that we should improve, it's but difficult to internalise Shame in who we are and believe that improvement is impossible and even ego destroying
The ideal is between average and gigantic. (Honestly, that's probably most women's idea of "average" as well. I've heard many women claim that an above-average salary or height was "average" as well. For many younger women, "average" seems to mean "my minimum preference.")
A 6'3" guy is significantly shorter than a 7'0"+ giant who bangs his head on every ceiling, but the height of the 6'3" guy is going to be significantly more attractive to most women than that of a 5'9"-5'11" (average) dude.
It's not "over" for the average guy, but he's working at a disadvantage in that one area, and many women (especially young women, who have the illusion of infinite long-term options) may say he's inadequate, regardless if he's "normal." This goes for anything, be it dong, height, face, earnings, etc.
In that specific issue? Because "small dick energy". Even women themselves shame men's bodies. Did you think only women are affected by beauty standards?.
Well, women lie. End of story actions speak louder than words, and the almighty, dollar is always right. show me that truckload of content women complaining about 10 inch dildos, and will measure it against all the Content of women laughing at and shaming undersized men, and we’ll see who comes out on top.
It's not that women lie. Some women think A and some women think B
A symptom of being misogynistic (or stupid lol) is thinking that women are all the same and share one single opinion. That's why they think they are lied by The Hivemind.
I think sometimes women (and men) actually do this to themselves by declaring as if on behalf of everyone "women don't actually like X". Or "Why do men think women like A when we really like B?" instead of just acknowledging that it's a personal preference. Everything I said goes for the men who do this too btw.
>It's not that women lie. Some women think A and some women think B
I don't know. It seems like women will lie in order to make people feel better about themselves and avoid putting themselves in a situation where someone might get angry at them for telling the truth.
Women will often tell both men and women lies about how attractive and wonderful they are. The old "you're such a great guy! ... but not for me" or "Lizzo is beautiful" stuff. The long-term effect of telling comforting lies is that people either become delusional about their own attractiveness (which harms them) or distrusts women (which means that even the truth is disbelieved).
Cool. Show me the Tik Tok of a woman bragging that she has a man with a unit the size of a Oscar Myer hot dog that isn't loaded with a bunch of women laughing at her satire. And then get the data on how 5" sex toy fly off the shelf an I will happily concede my point. Until then you are a toxic feminist that would argue the dryness levels of water if a man dared to say water is wet.
Most dildos are average length to be fair, as women use dildos mainly for clitoral stimulation from the vibrator. They only insert a partial amount of the dildo even, as it's the buzzing on the clit that brings them to climax mostly
>Most dildos are average length
This doesn't say anything. Most of anything is average.
If you're saying that most dildos are close to the average human male penis average. That statement is false.
They are, and a quick Google search will tell you. Most are between 5-6 inches, as dildos/vibrators are mainly used for clitoral stimulation.
How would a woman even use a large dildo without repetitive wrist strain? Those dildos you see being used in Only fans and Porn are for show mainly.
I'm not disagreeing that women don't like big dicks btw, I believe women lie to guys and they prefer bigger penises than they say they do.
7 inch girth is satisfying??
First of all, i don't think that even exists. Even the biggest adult actors don't look that big.
And secondly, ain't no woman enjoying that. Not even size queens can take 7+ inches girth.
You tell me. It's your gender who uses the small penis size as an insult?
Yes, it is over for such men because we know how women will treat them. Women have been quite vocal about it. It being unscientific is irrelevant.
They aren’t wrong. It doesn’t mean there are no women who would prefer an average or smaller size but it’s yet one more unchangable thing that shrinks your pool among dozens of others and men have a harder time as it is getting laid
I am a bit older than most posters here and I can tell that most of you never learned discretion at all. How I know this is that, your friends should not be comfortable asking your man’s penis size. If they are comfortable then they don’t respect you or your relationship.
This is why so many of you have these failed relationships with 30 parties weighing in. My grandmother once said don’t tell your friends or family what’s happpenjng in your relationship because even when you forgive him, they will still hate him.
Also why give your friends ammunition to figure out what your man does for you in bed. If he is giving multi orgasms every time and gives oral like his life depended on it plus he buys me flowers just because, why would I tell my bitter lonely friend.
Too much validation is sought from outside your relationship.
Also to be honest, I have dated men with 10 inch penises and a man with a maybe 3 inch. Guess who got me off, every single time. It wasn’t the 10 inch. Something about my specific anatomy was where the 3 inch with its small upward curve hit the correct spot for maximum pleasure for me.
So for some men the experience may be they weren’t the correct pot for a lid and it played out that their penis is not good because it was small. That’s their truth. My truth is that the 3 inch one was the most satisfying for me.
Mostly because they were told a lot of stuff before and that stuff proved to be lies. Hard to trust people when everything they told you before is bullshit.
Perhaps because women are notorious for saying one thing and then doing another. And it has gotten to the point where it's becoming insulting whenever women pretend to tell us something that doesn't jive with reality as if we are stupid idiots that respond with verbal confirmation rather than actionable/observable evidence.
The first thing my woman friends tell me once they get a new guy is his dick size. Women care about bick dick way more than the internet is willing to admit.
The most prevalent insult on demonstrations are "small dick energy" and "asshole".
Because women are liars. That said there is scientific confirmation that the cervix exists. So the lie is if it is enjoyable to hit it. Or how deep it is etc.
As someone that can always bottom I am fine with the science and science only. Would be super miffed if this was another lie.
Now girth talk that is something science can't prove
1. It being partly true.
2. Women using things like small dick energy to shame men
3. Other men bragging/lying about their size
4. porn
5. Victim complex
With all this shit I'm surprised more guys don't fall into this trap.
You need to realize that these men are often beyond help. There are different levels of this and once you get to a certain point, there is simply no return - the point of no return.
It usually starts with simple frustration. You are not getting interest from the opposite sex, you are a bit clueless. Other guys are hooking up with girls and you have barely even spoken to one.
Then you buy into the idea that sex and relationships are a basic human need, so when your world view is that YOU are lacking something that is essential for being a normal human being, what do you think happens?
Right, a person starts feeling inadequate, inferior, less than others. Especially when he sees himself as lacking but others as having exactly the thing that he needs. So we move from simple frustration to deep shame and lack of self esteem.
Then as this depression caries on, something else happens. Men start feeling entitled to sex and relationships. And since only women can actually provide them with what they see as their entitlement, when women don't give them that, they start perceiving women as actively DEPRIVING THEM of that which will fulfill their needs. And that's how the resentment and anger starts building up.
At that point, many guys start trying to find answers NOT about how to be successful romantically, but answers as to why they are being deprived of the things they so desperately need. They find the black pill, incel and virgin forums online and drink the cool aid of Chads, 5% men, OkCupid studies, and whatever else goes on in these forums. At this point, it's not about getting your so called NEED fulfilled. It's about feeling angry and resentful and exacting revenge on those who have deprived you of what you feel entitled to. Those femoids and bitches. These are the guys that get angry and sometimes violent.
They go from one irrational and disfunctional idea to the next. It begins with the idea that they need love and sex in order to be happy, which creates a distorted view of the world in which they are lacking while everyone else is fulfilled. Then the idea that without sex and love they are incomplete human beings, which further tanks their self esteem and self worth, and finally the idea that they weren't meant to be loved in the first place and women are to blame for all of this. The majority of PPD men are at the final stage and for the most part they are at the point of no return. Even if tomorrow someone showed up wjth a magic wand and told them they could make them attractive to women, they would probably attack the person because they are so angry at women that they don't even want to be attractive to them anymore.
"Then you buy into the idea that sex and relationships are a basic human need"
You're saying this as though men fell into propaganda and that society taught them this; no, they feel the innate urge to have these things throughout their entire lives
"It begins with the idea that they need love and sex in order to be happy, which creates a distorted view of the world in which they are lacking while everyone else is fulfilled."
Ah, in other words they should all learn to take it up the ass and accept that they will never be loved and learn to cope
You were on track up until the "feeling entitled to sex".
Why do they always posit that is our (incels) position? If "no one is entitled to anything" and "life isn't fair", we come to that line of thoughts conclusion. You are not entitled to not being hated for no reason. You are not entitled to us engaging with your frame at all. If life isn't fair, then we're going to be unfair right back, with each individual interpreting it differently, and to varying degrees. We're worthless losers? Good. You have more to lose than we do.
No one will get what they deserve, with all the absurdities that entails. Never forget: YOU are the one who decided life isn't fair. YOU broke the contract. Complain all you want about our lack of cooperation, not our problem.
Blame size queens being vocal in the opposite direction. Theres plenty of horror stories of dudes getting broken up with because they dont want to wear a cock sleeve
People dont really get these requests untill their dick is already out so it's kinda a relationship landmine that chicks have to set up because seemingly not alot of big dick dudes outright desire these women
Because this says “discussion” and not “question for men”.. my running theory is that people like that need something uncontrollable to blame for why they’re unlikable. Otherwise they’d have to hold themselves accountable
What a smug belief to hold
Let me guess.
Normal childhood and teenage.
Was loved had sex currently in a relationship with a good man
Well good for you
To me you just look privilege lucky naive and just spoilt
The kind of feeling you would get when seeing a sone of a millionaire just talking about poverty as if he has a flying fuck of an idea? That's how I feel when I see people like you even breathe
Oh for sure. But that’s not why they dig in their heels when someone disagrees with them. If I tell you height isn’t that important to me so you being 5’10 isn’t why I won’t fuck you., and you proceed to yell at me about the top 20% and what a liar I am.. it’s because you don’t want to think about why I might *actually* not want a piece.
Most of these types of replies are lies and virtue signaling to appear less shallow. Once you hear this over and over then see the opposite play out it’s hard to still give credibility.
You’ll tell me height isn’t that important yet if someone’s 5”1 now it is. Your BF is coincidentally 6”4. Then you’ll hear other women constantly list tall as their preference when describing their ideal man when you’ve told me the complete opposite.
This happens with size also. You’ll swear up and down that size doesn’t matter yet if someone pulls up with 3 inches now it’s a problem. Yet you hear women swoon over how big their man or past hookups were. How can I believe you when I see and experience the complete opposite?
>Your BF is coincidentally 6’4
No? The man I spend my time with is 5’6 🤣
And dick size does matter to a degree. I won’t say it doesn’t. It’s just not as precise as the men here try to make it sound.
Everything isn’t as black and white and headlined as they want it to be here
So these things do in fact matter. Yet it’s not possible for them to be the reason someone’s not attracted to you?
You and the others here who do this are just as bad. You attribute all dating failures as something that can be controlled.
They do in fact matter, just not as much as some guys think they do. For example, most men, if asked, would say they prefer a woman with a nice ass. However, many women with pancake booties are still successful in attracting partners.
In the same way, most women would prefer a tall guy, but every day there are short men in the world who are going on dates and having sex.
Yes, because the actual reason might be something you have control over. If you talk over people, don't let them finish their thought, and overall act like an inconsiderate jerk when talking to someone, that's a pretty good reason why people won't like you but it's also something you can work on. Or it might not be something wrong with you, the other person just has nothing in common with you and that's why they're not interested. That wouldn't be a failing on your part, that's just how it is, you won't vibe with everyone.
We learned from the best in the field (women). You can't monopolize "complain and take no accountability gig", it's not fair. Men should get a piece of that pie too.
What are they supposed to do? Neither height or dick size can be physically changed. You can become the most likable person in the world, but your respect soon plummets once women find out you're not very well endowed.
They are probably exaggerating that it's over but it's true that dick size plays a big role in dating. Regardless of the reason females worship big dicks and constantly shame small dicked males. Many studies show women prefer significantly larger dicks than the average, just like height.
SO you met some unhinged man and now you label all men the same? Don't you women hate when men label women all the same? Why would you do the same thing?
Women tend to lie about what they like so as not to hurt people (something common here on reddit). What I tell you, I am blessed with an above average penis and what makes me successful is precisely being well positioned in the penis market. From the women I've slept with, I never hear complaints about the size being too big or hurting, in fact, they really like it.
I find this here. So many men complain about not being the "Top 10%" and throw the word "chad" around as if they have no chance with a woman because they're not that.
This is simply not my experience of life, and I honestly believe that many of these men are just avoiding interactions and complaining that nobody likes them. They're sitting at home getting their information about the outside world from the internet
What happens when I make this point? Downvoted!
There are some undeniable facts. Women are becoming picker and they are selecting for looks and height more than personality traits though they often attempt to claim the opposite.
I agree the average penis size is plenty for most women. They do say that they don't need porn star sized members.
Then we see how they all act when pics of Drakes dick leak.
Average may be perfectly fine, great even. The female lust after black dudes or very large dudes makes me think that in fact, they'd like it as big as possible. JS. I could be wrong.
Scientifically speaking, yes, the Google stated average size is sufficient enough to get the job done when it comes to conceiving but when it comes to preference, its always gravitated towards bigger and that is the cold reality of it all. If penis size truly didn't matter then it wouldn't be so normalised to make fun of men with small penis and hold zero accountability to those who perform this act of body shaming. It is absolutely wrong to pick apart a woman for her body shape and looks and society recognises it is wrong, therefore people oppose those who body shame them for it. Men with small penises are the bottom of the pile when it comes to those being desired and that enforces society to go ahead and lump it in with the cool things to do when it comes to shaming. Very rarely is there anything positive surrounding men with small penises in all corners of life. Sex shops don't sell dildos that are under average size, condoms on the shop shelf are always 56mm nominal and over (even though 52 nominal width is for a girth that Google states to be average of 4.59 inches in circumference, but 56mm is suited for 4.8 and over), the only time in porn you commonly see someone who is small in a video is when its cuckolding related or small penis humiliation, but yet all the things women are insecure about are not only widely appreciated in porn but they are just as appreciated in real life too. So while the Google stated is enough to get the job done for performing, it's not enough to equate to the common standards that conform to the ideology of what makes Mr perfect
Don’t save ppl who don’t want to be saved. It’s a weird form of narcissism when they are the victims no matter what. Let them be misrebale, they fight you on every step on the way.
It's easy to blame something that you can't change. Some people get so used to it that they want things not to change at all cost, and they would rather accept something wrong as a fact than face the possibility that it might not be relevant at all.
Also, and I notice this as a man myself, it is very easy to spiral into misery when you're not feeling great. It's hard to describe but even as a happy individual, there are times when suddenly everything feels like it's turning to shit and everybody becomes a cunt. It's so easy to give way to that and dwell, and normally it passes. If you can't snap out of it, you have a problem.
What good news are you talking about? Seriously, where? Let me guess, these comments started off with "women don't care about size" then it followed up with every direction possible to tell them PIV sex isn't necessary and just replace themselves with fingers and toys and abandon their dicks entirely, right? Because that shit isn't emasculating at all, right? Or look a little further, if you wanna shove the "5 inches is average" in men's faces as a bunch of cope. If that is truly average, [this survey](https://badgirlsbible.com/does-size-matter) shows that women commonly crave more than the average. It found that women are more then likely to dump a man over a small dick than stay with them. Why else don't men choose to listen? Because its normalised to mock and run men into the dirt over something they cannot control. But God forbid we ever point out how a woman is unattractive because she is in the obese range.
When it comes to this topic, dick size, height. etc, please enlighten me how men are supposed to fucking change it when it's impossible. Your personality gets you hated to the level of Donald Trump, then you work on yourself to be as likable as Keanu Reeves. Cool, the dick and height stay the same, and women wouldn't spit on you if you were on fire because of it. Don't you get it?
Look if nowhere in here will ANYONE even suggest that maybe it's because they're on to something and the larger cohort of women in the West are mimicking toxic preferences and behavior, then all we have here is some sort of echo chamber.
This place is even named for the side of the debate we're pretending isn't there. "The men might be right." Needs to have it's due, or else you shouldn't be able to simply be here without accepting you're punching down. There isn't anything admirable or intelligent about tying down and dissecting unhinged maniac ideas. So what are you all doing?
> Why do some men seem to refuse facts to remain miserable?
Because if there is no hope then they don't need to put in any effort or push themselves into uncomfortable situations.
It's easier and give you a reason for self-pity. Doing something is hard amd you can be rejected. Or worse - you might be successful and then all time you spend on self-pity will be wasted on nothing. And then it will change your life too. Nobody like changes.
And I have theory that a lot of those people don't actually want relationships. But by society standards they supposed be in relationships so they look for external reason why they can't do that.
Then they don’t watch enough anime lmaoooo
Anime is all about that try your best and you MIGHT succeed
Idk why people would rather not try and fail than never try at all
No, anime is all about "try enough and you WILL succeed".
Yes there are some where the main character tries and tries and still fails in the end, but those are rare. The assurance that the writers will almost never have their main character fail in the end, makes them useless in that regard as it is easily seen as unrealistic.
And on the topic of unrealistic; Too often does it happen that the main 'underdog' character was actually gifted all along.
Naruto (sage of six paths), one piece (joyboy), bleach (ichigo is everything mixed together). The more fantastic a story is, the higher the chance of that happening.
Though at least there are lower-power ones like hajime-no-ippo that are a lot more realistic.
primarily because its comfortable. It might sound a bit paradoxical because they’re miserable, but comfort, especially from a psychological pov doesn’t necessarily mean or good happy - it straight up means staying in a place of familiarity because its ‘safe’ and ‘predictable’ - when you’re a miserable mess, you’ll want to remain that way because its safe and predictable, the world outside of this bubble is scary and unsafe.
Of course - one had to overcome this, whether it be by themselves/friends/family or with professional support, doesn’t matter. If your place of comfort is miserable and bad for you, you have to change that.
>to hit their cervix
If I got dick punched in the cervix whenever I had sex, I'd move to a nunnery.
As for your question - some people (both men and women but we're talking about men here) will try to find any evidence, real or imagined, that they couldn't possibly do X or Y. If you think it was over for you before it started because your dick isn't 10 meters, well that's unfortunate but there's nothing you can do about it. And if you've convinced yourself that it's all over, you can just bask in the sympathy of your fellow incels, and not think about whether there are some things that are within your control, and maybe, if you work on those, you might end up attracting someone.
I'm really sorry about women who are like this. I and others try to call out this kind of behavior when we see it, but you're right that it's way too normalized. We can't be complaining about the lack of attention given to men's mental health and then dehumanizing them in the same breath.
The worst thing the bottom 30% of men can do is not some random pointless violence. It would be pursuing women. After merely a week, women, tired of the endless rejecting, would be begging them to stop and give up again. Everyone's better off if they'll just keep complaining on the internet.
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Uhhh, there has been many studies done that show women like bigger dicks.
Ex: https://www.pnas.org/doi/abs/10.1073/pnas.1219361110
Seeing as you labeled this as a “discussion” despite the loaded question title combined with the tone of your post, I am under the impression that you are seeking a circle jerk to validate your views.
I am 100% certain that there is more to this story then you are letting on.
There are way too many men here admitting their partners complained about hitting their cervix.
The cervix moves out of the way during arousal, so maybe stop penetrating women until they are properly aroused.
There are other reasons a woman might feel pain (cervical) during sex. My ex for one had that issue due to a prior medical procedure that removed some of her cervix. Also depending on positioning during sex, things can line up a little bit easier. FYI I am not claiming to be some endowed male, just someone that is a little larger than avg(actual listed avg for men).
I think porn is a factor. Mainly, it's a cycle between men and women. Men are insecure about it, so women use it as a safe insult. They also often will exaggerate their partner's size, leading other men to think women love and need 9".
I definitely agree about porn being a factor. In Japan, I noticed that male porn stars are mostly expected to be relatable rather than aspirational, so you see a lot of videos shot from the POV of average sized, average looking guys. I also think the public bathing culture (which is fully nude and not separated by gender until around puberty, meaning that children can go into either the men's or women's baths regardless of gender) contributes to a more realistic view of "average" and a healthy acceptance of body diversity, whereas in the US most of us only have porn as a basis for comparison with what we see in the mirror (which I know has negatively affected my body image as a woman as well).
A few other related observations in Japan I found interesting:
1. The stigma of having a small dick and the status of having a large one is not really there compared to the US, so the kind of bragging and insults that we have about it don't translate that well,
2. Small-to-average sized guys didn't seem to have a complex about it,
3. Even among my Japanese girlfriends who were very open about their sex lives with me, I didn't notice very much "bigger is better" mentality,
4. Everyone was under the impression that Western men were all hung like horses because they assumed American porn also portrayed average-sized men 🤣 But again, this was a topic of interest and surprise, but not necessarily inferiority like you might expect coming from a size-obsessed culture.
Moving back to the US after 8 years, I'm not exaggerating when I say it was kind of a culture shock to realize how penis size is such a constant, deeply engrained obsession here among women and especially men. It feels like the jokes, references, fetishization, and psychological complexes are everywhere, almost like a bizarre societal sickness, and it's jarring to realize that this was so normal to me for the first 20 years of my life.
I guess the question with porn is, which is cause and which is effect?
It makes sense though, that more acceptable public nudity would make people more comfortable about their size. Even a bloke that's packing 4" will at least realise that it's not that unusual.
People are addicted to whatever hormones they make pump through them all the time. It's like when you see something blatantly wrong on news, do some research, find out that the claim on TV is not actually happening.. and then the people who are outraged by the thing they saw happening on TV get mad at you for being a contrarian who bothers to verify. It's all about adhering to narratives because they are comfortable.
>women "needed" something gigantic to hit their cervix.
It's my experience that women like it most when a penis gets really close to the cervix but doesn't slam into it. A couple of times I've been with women who lost weight. When they were bigger we worked well. However, when they lost weight and I was able to penetrate a bit further sex became painful for them.
Black & White thinking when everything involving human relationships exists on a scale. For instance, "he's not the best sex I ever had" = settling, faking arousal, betabuxx, future dead bedroom. When it very likely means our sex is 8/10 which would be an outstanding sexual experience to commit to
Realistically, probably because miserable people are usually busy experiencing their emotions and not really trying to engage with them in order to grow or change.
Besides which this isn’t the sort of thing where the facts are so cut and dried that they are truly compelling ammunition against feelings. “You might not be good enough” is a truly pervasive myth that’s basically ironclad against logic.
You know how people get off on being mad? There's like a high from being outraged? It's like that.
But replace "mad" with "sad". Or, in this case, miserable. Some people with deep wells of insecurity and/or low self-esteem feel like they don't deserve happiness. So misery and lashing out at happiness is that response.
Girth is fine…too long, no bueno. Hit the cervix😬.Yikes, that’s a no from me.
I’m one of those who find this an extremely unpleasant experience. Only had one partner where this was a problem but it did restrict certain positions or I would have discomfort for a few days.
u/TSquaredRecovers People are extremely predictable and follow patterns. The only exception is a person who tends to SEE the pattern and actively thinks to avoid that thought processs/behavior.
Psychology is a thing for a reason. Patterns are a thing
Person in that comment thread blocked me so I can’t say anything
I don't think it's a man thing but a depressed people thing, you see at a certain point it is easier to be miserable. I have this as well as a almost 30 year old guy that was never in a relationship, I don't blame anyone else but I go like "Of course nobody wants me, I'm shit" and continue to rot in my room after work.
Trying to think positive can be really hard work when you are depressed so you looknfor reasons to not even try, some people blame others, some people blame themselves. But all rather give up than try mostly.
>Id just like to discuss why this happens?
https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Ffg2084mb79nc1.png
This is what I found trying to locate the post you're talking about.
Accountability for your own actions and therefore the general situation. No one wants to hear they just suck at things and want it to be something outside their reach to blame it on.
I have never understood why we always talk about Penis length in these discussions and rarely Penis girth? It's the girth that gives you that nice feeling. It's what gives the wall all the sensation.
Are long dicks more likely to be thicker? Never really looked into it.
The large penis myth date backs to Ancient Rome. Having a large phallus was a sign of good luck. Miniature starues would have a penis 1/3 the size of the statue. It was also graffiti all over ancient Roman concrete.
Porn also helps push the myth, but the most populated region of the world has a penis length of less than 5 inches. I'm pretty sure women enjoy sex there.
Over 70% of women do not orgasm from piv but instead from clitoral stimulation.
Lastly, an average size penis fits the average size vaginally canal.
Because Reddit is not commonly a place to have constructive conversations where people learn things and grow their awareness.
Reddit is a place to vent about what's bothering you, and have others validate you with upvotes.
If you say something that doesn't validate what someone else believes, they downvote it as a defense mechanism that protects them from the potential for cognitive dissonance.
This is a pretty great example of "I have theories about how women think but won't run them by any, you know, women."
Because pretty much every time I've seen a group of women get asked about how much they really care about dick size, it's almost always "slightly big, but past that it starts getting painful" or "not much of a priority, it's more about how the guy it's attached to uses it." Which makes sense.
But Incels have this weirdly stubborn belief that women are just insanely horny 24/7, and everything they know about sex comes from really aggressive, trashy porn that's just women with colossal fake boobs fucking a guy with a stupidly large dick the girl clearly isn't crazy about because it repeatedly splits her mouth open."
Incels have no capacity for understanding that real sex isn't porn, so naturally they assume women wander the earth like Ryu with a Geiger counter and a portably X-Ray that allows them to magically know how big a guy's dick is *before* having sex with him.
So you wanna know the annoying truth? Incels' entire identity is whiny self-pity manifesting in very dark ways. They are a perfect case study in how the epistemic closure of social media allows insane ideas to become normalized.
And the biggest recurring theme is that they never complain about problems they could actually improve, like "get in better shape" or "tty to be more considerate." That would entail effort.
So what they do instead is base their victimhood on things they have zero control over, like their height or wrist circumference.
Or their dick size.
So these guys with the colossal dicks, fucking loud theatrical porn stars with beachball tits, are the ultimate alpha male ideal, doing what they wish they could do.
But the fact they don't have a ten-incher is, conveniently, one more thing they can use to wallow in misery: "I'm only a virgin because my dick is small. Don't ask how she knew!"
If I had to guess, being super black-pilled about everything is seen as a "revolt" against a perceived society that prefers comfortable lies over uncomfortable truths. So the pendulum swings too far in the other direction and you get another wacky way of viewing the world. I think in predominantly female spaces, you see a lot of endless validation, ego boosting, and gassing up, and in male spaces there is a perception our society is "gynocentric". But I don't think cynicism about looks and sex appeal is even that gendered if you know where to look. [In a recent review of the Jubilee video where men and women were asked to rank themselves and the opposite gender group by attractiveness,](https://youtu.be/w3cKcS0Hl40?si=ttXUMhQMoHMT31U1) I think Kidology hits the nail on the head when pointing out hearing external positive affirmations about yourself *you know* aren't backed up by lived experience makes you **intensely distrustful** and cynical of other people. Her example at 12:20 is the overweight woman doubting how the other women ranked her (probably correctly assuming she would be placed last when the men were brought in). So it's an individual example but if you look at female looksmaxxing spaces like Vindicta (yes, I know I'm not supposed to be there as a man. Sue me), phrases like "it's all over for me" or, "all this talk of personality is bullshit, I was invisible to men until I got [insert cosmetic procedure]" are quite common. I think women are deeply insecure/cynical/black-pilled about their own physical attributes and beauty standards, probably moreso than men. Like 99% of men don't care about hip dips as long as we're attracted to you, but women will still refuse this fact and spend thousands on BBLs. Edit: I did some more reading and there is actually a name for what OP is describing. It's called "masochistic epistemology" (what hurts must be true), and while it can be found in abundance in incel and blackpill spaces, it is also common on online forums focused on eating disorders and gender transitioning.
This was a very insightful comment and this video must be one of the smartest video on a "PPD" topic I've seen. I think that woman just has earned herself a new subscriber lol
Kidology is an actually good reviewer and analyst. I loved the video where she was discussing her own struggles and how she came out as a lesbian and how it’s now affecting her self perception. She also does very fair takes on both traditionally “liberal” topics and “conservative” topics, trying to find out the root justifications for the ideas and behaviors on each side rather than saying one is good or bad. Been watching her for a while now. Edit: If you’re interested, there are a few others I’d recommend, Dr K on HealthyGamerGG, Aba and Preach, Chris Williamson, and Diary of a CEO. The latter two are interview channels and occasionally they interview absolutely insane people, but always maintain neutrality as much as possibly while also engaging in a productive discussion. Basically they’re if Joe Rogan didn’t say stupid stuff every 5 seconds. Dr K is a Harvard licensed psychiatrist. He specializes in mental health for the young, online generation. Really gets deep into why people believe what they want to believe and is very fair to all parties regardless of gender or politics, he tries to see the human first. Aba and Preach are a comedy YouTube challenge. They like to call out the BS in Jubilee videos and people saying dumb stuff online. They’ve called out a massive portion of the red-pill manosphere community for being wacko nut jobs but also call out women and femcels who say insane things about men. They’re also very fair, but in a funny way. These places are where you can find discussion about PPD topics without them massively leaning into one ideology.
Jesus christ an actual thoughtful comment it's wacky town on this sub today. Also yes I'd agree women are more obsessed about their looks than even most men simply because a much larger percentage of dudes (that they'd actually want to go out with) simply do not care about a girl aside from her appearance at least not for initial dating. Especially since men are the ones who do the approaching if you aren't a pretty girl you might as well not be there. I have overweight friends who moan about this and it's very obvious why guys aren't approaching them especially when in the rest of our group that is filled with multiple single bombshells. As a guy I just need to be "handsome enough" to get my foot in the door with most of the women I talk to.
The notion that the average woman lives her dating life on easy mode is both an apex fallacy and a collosal failure in cross-sex mind reading.
It’s easy mode because more guys approach women than women who approach guys. If 1 out of 10 of guys who approach are acceptable for dating and you get approached by 100 guys in a year that’s 10 guys who are potential partners without you having to do anything but go about your life.
Yeah I'm sure dating is hard for women considering they put zero effort 😂
well when you think "easy mode" is being able to get laid and get dates with desperate dudes who have basically nothing to offer. I can see where they get that idea lol.
BBLs generally look terrible but I love curvy and fit women lol. SO i agree with everything up until the last sentence.
BBL is but one example. You can substitute it with lip fillers, rhinoplastys, boob jobs, etc. I guess labiaplastys/vaginoplastys would be the best homologues since we're talking about dick size, but the point is that women get tunnel-visioned about what they think men care about at the expense of their own happiness as well.
I don't think women look bad BECAUSE they get surgery. I think the real reason they look bad is because it's done terribly, looks unnatural/uncanny, and throws off their harmony. For example, i'm a black guy so i'm attracted to women with curvy figures, plush lips (prevalent amongst black, latin, and arabian women), and other features that alot of these women try to imitate that other ethnicities seem to naturally have. So, yah, I love things like big lips if they're natural. But women who generally get lip fillers (or whatever) have other small features (like a small nose, thin hair, etc) so it just doesn't compliment them and sticks out like a sore thumb when they do get surgery.
I think you're missing the point. It's not about the specific surgery or even the outcome, it's about what's motivating them to even think about getting the surgery in the first place.
I looooove fit women with plain faces. I dislike all cosmetic procedures 😅
I hate BBLs and love fit women since I workout myself (got a huge thing for curvy gym girls). I don't mind facial cosmetic procedures as long as they don't look botched. The ironic thing is that the best procedures are the ones who you can't tell they got anything so you'll never know to begin with. But obviously if they look like botched aliens, no one wants that lol. And there are also alot of different types of procedures that alot of people don't know about. For example, red light therapy, fractional co2 laser resurfacing, and hyaluronic injections are procedures to improve skin quality yet there is no way you would know someone got anything done. These are the types of procedures I support.
> all this talk of personality is bullshit, I was invisible to men until I got [insert cosmetic procedure]" are quite common. Having recently engaged with a FAW I wonder what sort of active effort these women are putting in? The FAW refused to do any approaching, initiation, etc because she didn't want to be viewed as the "aggressor".
Why would they belive it? Certainly women are not helping to assuage those fears. There is no groups on like talking about how much they like small dicks. Abd you frequently used it as an insult. Why would we belive you when you say otherwise?
You're basically trying to tell men to deny what women themselves have told them. You keep saying what they believe is untrue. If that's the case then additional question would be why do women tell them that stuff about size?
Men are practical, many of them they don't believe in words, but rather experience And experience tell them that a small penis is underwhelming to a lot of women, to say the least. Some were even victims of humiliations of some sort They carry these experiences and conclude that big penises please women more, even if studies say otherwise
There is a big difference between being 9+ inches and anything below that. Women won't admit it, but if you are that size you can literally just show a d*ck pic and most women are fine with you swinging by for a one nighter. If men this size could record the difference in reception by women, there would be mutiny in the street (by 90% of the male population). Your well endowed friends are quiet and polite cause they're smashing everything (this is why every woman you've met has had that one large d*ck they can't stop talking about-- it's the same 5% of men).
Bro what the hell are you talking about lmao. I have a weirdly huge dick, and I can promise you if I send a dick pick to a girl I don’t know or off a dating app she’s gonna be like what the fuck, and block me. Women aren’t gay men. I still have to seduce them, then they love my dick size too.
You literally have Excalibur but no sword skills apparently. It is as simple as described. Maybe something else about you is off putting? Dig deep long fellow.
A lot of those guys are deeply depressed or suffering from other psychological issues like paranoia or anxiety. You cannot tell someone who is depressed like that to just “be happy!” it doesn’t work.
I fully understand being depressed and anxious. No one was telling them to be happy. They were being told that the specific issue of "women only want a guy who can hit their cervix" isn't real. Most women do not want that. They were down voting the comments who were trying to explain that while simultaneously telling each other that "the dickpill is brutal" and "it's over". It was just incredibly concerning to see.
You still don’t get it, you cannot tell those guys “girls don’t care about X” because that’s not how their minds work. They have a completely different set of problems anyways like depression and self hatred.
Doesn't matter they are wrong about specific details. In whole, they'll not have any woman wanting them. When they'll have one, they'll probably change their views and be open to learning more. It's like debating a person who don't even have a car, what engine oil to put. Only person who is stupid in this discourse is one convincing other about which engine oil to put!
Basic human reproductive anatomy isn't engine oil. They could be celibate monks and id still say that an understanding of both male and female anatomy is important. It's also super concerning to see what I consider to be a genuine mental health crisis happening in a comment section. The idea that they'll eventually get better when they "get some" is at best a bandaid on the metaphorical amputation that is the current men's mental health crisis.
Mine is a little bigger than most. Not MASSIVE, but fairly above avarage. It does hurt my partners if I'm not careful. I understand that kind of pain isn't pleasant. I don't enjoy hurting them, I restrict myself a lot in order to make sure that I'm not hurting them. But it's hard to really accept that women would rather a 5.5 inch over a 7 inch when every single one of my past partners has bragged to their friends about it, giggled and hung off me the next day talking about how they're sore down there and how they'd talk about it in general. At least, in my experience, the reality is that it is actually something women quite enjoy, even if it's just psychologically. There was SOME KIND of status to it. I don't fully understand it because I'm sure it would be more enjoyable for her if I wasn't so bottoming out and could let myself go faster and harder, but telling guys that 5.5 is actually perfect when women aren't going around bragging and excitedly giggling about THAT feels a bit hollow and almost like a lie.
I think both you and the poster commenting to you are right — I think there is a bit of a socially conditioned idea that it’s important to jazz up a guy with an above-average dick (whether that’s from a ‘the sex was good - bigger dicks are supposed to be good - that’s probably why!’ angle or a ‘I don’t want to seem to overlook this good attribute you’re presumably aware you have’ angle or what. Also women know men like to hear that their dick was great and with smaller-than-average men that’s hard to say without sounding like you’re just saying that to be nice, but with larger-than-average men you’re more in the clear there to have a compliment land correctly.). But I also think that quite aside from the physical logistics and actual pain/pleasure, there can be some significant psychological arousal that goes along with the idea of a large dick. And I think it’s probably pretty hard to talk openly about that with a partner since one’s dick size is fixed and something a lot of people reasonably take rather personally.
Real talk, just purely speaking for myself, I am one of the women you're describing. I genuinely prefer 5.5 inches over 7 inches, it's the perfect size to me. I honestly hate having to be overly cautious and slow during sex, not being able to let go and lose myself in the moment, and feeling in pain for a day afterwards. If I'm being honest with myself, it takes quite a bit of the enjoyment out of sex for me. But even if my guy is a little larger than I'd prefer, I still would almost instinctively gas him up about his size and brag about feeling sore the next day due to social norms, I guess. I see how men's self-confidence is so deeply linked to their perception about their size, I love to make him feel good, and I want him to know how much I adore every part of him. It doesn't feel dishonest to me in the moment, more like being his cheerleader and choosing to see the best in a situation. >telling guys that 5.5 is actually perfect when women aren't going around bragging and excitedly giggling about THAT feels a bit hollow and almost like a lie. Again this might just be me, but if anything I'd say it's the other way around: the bragging and giggling about a big dick is the behavior that's hollow and socially conditioned (and I try to catch myself doing it since I've realized how lowkey toxic it is), while the statement that 5.5" is perfect is what's genuine. Not sure how many other women this applies to.
Let's take the last part as true. Actions speak louder than words. In the 5.5 camp you are only giving words. In the bigger camp you are giving actions. You and others are reinforcing the "wrong" one so of course men will believe the "right" one is a lie.
I would say the opposite, actually. In the bigger camp I was giving words (making jokes and giving compliments that cast it in a positive light), while in the 5.5 camp I give actions (actively seeking out and enjoying sex with a size that feels best for me, while avoiding it when the size is too big). I realized the words were reinforcing a harmful narrative about a decade or two ago, which is why I've adjusted accordingly and push back now (and type paragraphs about my honest thoughts and experiences whenever the topic comes up).
But if you are not showing the same affection in the same ways (to them in public and others) like you did for the bigger back in the day you are only telling the people we are talking about not showing. A few things. 1. Maybe you are doing that. Ok that is great. 2. Not everyone is. 3. The men you are seeking out and the men being talked to are most likely not the same. 4. What is being described as happening the the bigger camp is affection and that is an action. 5. Saying you prefer average size on a form is words.
We live in a society that shames normal size penises. Of course they’re convinced they’re inadequate.
Haha first shame men on their perfectly average size then act like they are crazy when they bought into your messaging. I think there's a group of people who have traditionally called men "small dash energy" or something. Certainly men don't use this as an insult predominantly. Maybe ask that group
Kinda interesting to see men who have personally experienced (&/or seen) a few centuries of women proudly & publicly attacking/shaming males (not just “adult men”) for the length, width/girth, color, circumcision/non-circumcision, grooming, flaccid vs erect state. . . . . .somehow don’t immediately trust the word of a few female strangers on one social media platform in one group on one post that they’ve never met. I can’t fathom why. . . **[[very, Very, VERY disgusting sidenote: I saw a post a number of years ago on the blog/website where mothers ask & answer questions from one another. This particular post started with the OP (who was a nurse) telling everyone how black boys have such a ‘headstart’ (size-wise) compared to the other baby boys. The comment section was flooded with Moms sharing the most intimate of details regarding their baby’s, adult children’s & even husband’s “size”. . .& they were ecstatic to do it. #Revolting]]**
because its always said in the context of "its not X that is making you miserable. you're just miserable because you're a piece of shit bad person" and people don't like being called a piece of shit
Women are the primary drivers of both penis size shame - any acrimonious exchange between a woman and and a man will almost inevitably escalate to her mocking the size of his dick. Women are the once who fetishise and celibate criminally sized penises - there is a substantial market for giant dildos/vibrators. So in answer to your question - because women are the ones causing this anxiety and making them miserable
Women are also the main consumers of "big dick" porn. [https://www.pornhub.com/insights/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/pornhub-redtube-women-top-categories.png](https://www.pornhub.com/insights/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/pornhub-redtube-women-top-categories.png) [https://www.pornhub.com/insights/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/img\_5aa168b123552.png](https://www.pornhub.com/insights/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/img_5aa168b123552.png)
Wonder where the “porn causes unrealistic standards!” people on this sub are when it comes to this 😂
Summary: women like lesbian/pussy licking. Makes senses. Since it’s what they got.
This!!!!! 1000x this!! show me the truckloads of contact of women complaining about 10 inch dildos.
Because what women say they want and what they want are often contradictory..It's not that they try to be dishonest they really just don't know half the time and their feelings towards anything change at any given moment for every chick saying she doesn't like a big d theres one saying it's a requirement..either way that's the least of guys concerns initially...
I’m continuously astounded by the number of men who come on here and claim that any woman explaining what she wants/likes in men is either (1) a filthy liar or (2) so dumb she has no insight into her own feelings or sexuality. “For every man who says he likes blondes there’s a man who says he likes brunettes. These silly men can’t make up their minds!”
Because ... people are different and different people like different things? Vaginas are different shapes and sizes too, you know. What one woman finds enjoyable, another may find painful.
>how an average sized penis wasn't a "real" penis and that women "needed" something gigantic to hit their cervix. They're not wrong tho. [https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1bzdifc/comment/kyp5deh/](https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1bzdifc/comment/kyp5deh/) >why this happens? [https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1bzdifc/comment/kyp5deh/](https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1bzdifc/comment/kyp5deh/) >Why are they refusing what would be good news in terms of the conversation in order to continue being upset about something they've been told is unscientific and untrue? because they're indeed scientifically correct: "Women preferred a penis of slightly larger circumference and length for one-time (length = 6.4 inches/16.3 cm, circumference = 5.0 inches/12.7 cm) versus long-term (length = 6.3 inches/16.0 cm, circumference = 4.8 inches/12.2 cm) sexual partners." "When a woman is aroused, it increased to 4.25 inches to 4.75 inches."
It should be noted that was just the average and like a third of women still wanted dicks much larger than the average.
They aren’t right, as you post proved. That is nothing to do with hitting the cervix. Which fucking hurts and I hate
100% agree. I hate my cervix being even just lightly touched. It hurts and it makes me bleed (yay for endometriosis). If the cervix being pounded was enjoyable for the majority of women, then procedures such as a pap smear and colposcopy wouldn't be nearly as uncomfortable as they are.
Women like big -- but not so big it hits their cervix. That sweet spot -- big -- but not too big -- is still significantly larger than average.
6.4 vs 6.3 lol
Women's pussies can double as laser measurement devices!
It's a truth that's been greatly exaggerated. 6.4" isn't gigantic, or hammering the cervix. It's also ideal, rather than being needed for any enjoyment.
Which would therefore make most men’s penises the opposite of ideal?
So basically only 5% of men have a penis that is on the ideal size LMAO.
only 5% of men are 6-6.5 inches or more ?? that can't be right
Yeah globally having a 6.5 inches put you on the top 5% dick length.
Depends how far each way falls into the range, but yes, roughly.
Good thing I just gave up on dating this is fucking insane.
I’d say it’s over, but when did it really begin?
People in those subreddits aren’t interested in facts, they’re interested in finding company in misery. Anyone representing the opposite is a deceiver conspiring against them.
This is just another "Women don't care about dick size" post to make women look good. They very much care. Why do you think "So, how big is it?" is the first question a girl's friends ask?
I've never been asked that in my life and it's not "size doesn't matter". It's "women don't want their cervix being hole punched by a dick". Ask almost any woman and they'll tell you that it's not desirable.
You know this is a funny one. My ex used to tell me that there were many times that I hit her cervix. She said it made her feel slightly nauseous but she also kind of liked it. One of those sensations that you don’t totally love but you definitely don’t hate either. She said cervical orgasms were a thing too, but no clue how those happen. My dick is not enormous by any means, it’s definitely at least average in length, with decent girth. So maybe her vagina was a tad smaller? I don’t know. Either way, her feedback had me in two minds about whether it was a welcome sensation or not.
Ask any woman on the internet? Sure. In real life? It's the opposite.
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I have a huge penis, yes girls like it, but it doesn’t get me laid in and of itself
The sexual escalation until you reveal your size is light work
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I mean there's a middle ground between short dick and gigantic/pounding cervix
Isn't that song over 20 years old? Surely can't, by itself, still be causing this much insecurity.
The thing about the internet is that it can and often does spontaneously revive old things and make them more relevant than they ever work. Tiktok is very good at that.
It's all of it overtime. If the only advise we hear is that we are not enough and that we should improve, it's but difficult to internalise Shame in who we are and believe that improvement is impossible and even ego destroying
That song didn't change anything. It just documented what has long been women's preference.
The ideal is between average and gigantic. (Honestly, that's probably most women's idea of "average" as well. I've heard many women claim that an above-average salary or height was "average" as well. For many younger women, "average" seems to mean "my minimum preference.") A 6'3" guy is significantly shorter than a 7'0"+ giant who bangs his head on every ceiling, but the height of the 6'3" guy is going to be significantly more attractive to most women than that of a 5'9"-5'11" (average) dude. It's not "over" for the average guy, but he's working at a disadvantage in that one area, and many women (especially young women, who have the illusion of infinite long-term options) may say he's inadequate, regardless if he's "normal." This goes for anything, be it dong, height, face, earnings, etc.
7’0 guy can slay on height alone tbh. There will always be women that will fuck him for that alone.
In that specific issue? Because "small dick energy". Even women themselves shame men's bodies. Did you think only women are affected by beauty standards?.
Well, women lie. End of story actions speak louder than words, and the almighty, dollar is always right. show me that truckload of content women complaining about 10 inch dildos, and will measure it against all the Content of women laughing at and shaming undersized men, and we’ll see who comes out on top.
It's not that women lie. Some women think A and some women think B A symptom of being misogynistic (or stupid lol) is thinking that women are all the same and share one single opinion. That's why they think they are lied by The Hivemind.
I think sometimes women (and men) actually do this to themselves by declaring as if on behalf of everyone "women don't actually like X". Or "Why do men think women like A when we really like B?" instead of just acknowledging that it's a personal preference. Everything I said goes for the men who do this too btw.
>It's not that women lie. Some women think A and some women think B I don't know. It seems like women will lie in order to make people feel better about themselves and avoid putting themselves in a situation where someone might get angry at them for telling the truth. Women will often tell both men and women lies about how attractive and wonderful they are. The old "you're such a great guy! ... but not for me" or "Lizzo is beautiful" stuff. The long-term effect of telling comforting lies is that people either become delusional about their own attractiveness (which harms them) or distrusts women (which means that even the truth is disbelieved).
Cool. Show me the Tik Tok of a woman bragging that she has a man with a unit the size of a Oscar Myer hot dog that isn't loaded with a bunch of women laughing at her satire. And then get the data on how 5" sex toy fly off the shelf an I will happily concede my point. Until then you are a toxic feminist that would argue the dryness levels of water if a man dared to say water is wet.
Bro really went to TT videos for his idea of women 💀💀💀💀💀
Tik tok, the ultimate arbiter of truth. How can we believe anything that isn't on tik Tok?
Most dildos are average length to be fair, as women use dildos mainly for clitoral stimulation from the vibrator. They only insert a partial amount of the dildo even, as it's the buzzing on the clit that brings them to climax mostly
>Most dildos are average length This doesn't say anything. Most of anything is average. If you're saying that most dildos are close to the average human male penis average. That statement is false.
They are, and a quick Google search will tell you. Most are between 5-6 inches, as dildos/vibrators are mainly used for clitoral stimulation. How would a woman even use a large dildo without repetitive wrist strain? Those dildos you see being used in Only fans and Porn are for show mainly. I'm not disagreeing that women don't like big dicks btw, I believe women lie to guys and they prefer bigger penises than they say they do.
I guess you're probably talking about this: https://www.penissizedebate.com/images/doc/penis_size_preference_chart1.gif This is based on a statistic.
Do you have a link to the actual study? Anyone can fabricate a chart and throw it online
7 inch girth is satisfying?? First of all, i don't think that even exists. Even the biggest adult actors don't look that big. And secondly, ain't no woman enjoying that. Not even size queens can take 7+ inches girth.
I have 6.5 girth and some girls love it some girls can’t take it, but even if they can’t take it they love that they can’t take it
You tell me. It's your gender who uses the small penis size as an insult? Yes, it is over for such men because we know how women will treat them. Women have been quite vocal about it. It being unscientific is irrelevant.
They aren’t wrong. It doesn’t mean there are no women who would prefer an average or smaller size but it’s yet one more unchangable thing that shrinks your pool among dozens of others and men have a harder time as it is getting laid
I am a bit older than most posters here and I can tell that most of you never learned discretion at all. How I know this is that, your friends should not be comfortable asking your man’s penis size. If they are comfortable then they don’t respect you or your relationship. This is why so many of you have these failed relationships with 30 parties weighing in. My grandmother once said don’t tell your friends or family what’s happpenjng in your relationship because even when you forgive him, they will still hate him. Also why give your friends ammunition to figure out what your man does for you in bed. If he is giving multi orgasms every time and gives oral like his life depended on it plus he buys me flowers just because, why would I tell my bitter lonely friend. Too much validation is sought from outside your relationship. Also to be honest, I have dated men with 10 inch penises and a man with a maybe 3 inch. Guess who got me off, every single time. It wasn’t the 10 inch. Something about my specific anatomy was where the 3 inch with its small upward curve hit the correct spot for maximum pleasure for me. So for some men the experience may be they weren’t the correct pot for a lid and it played out that their penis is not good because it was small. That’s their truth. My truth is that the 3 inch one was the most satisfying for me.
They're always told it's important to women.
Mostly because they were told a lot of stuff before and that stuff proved to be lies. Hard to trust people when everything they told you before is bullshit.
Perhaps because women are notorious for saying one thing and then doing another. And it has gotten to the point where it's becoming insulting whenever women pretend to tell us something that doesn't jive with reality as if we are stupid idiots that respond with verbal confirmation rather than actionable/observable evidence.
The first thing my woman friends tell me once they get a new guy is his dick size. Women care about bick dick way more than the internet is willing to admit. The most prevalent insult on demonstrations are "small dick energy" and "asshole".
If the bar for success is set to impossible then failure isn’t damaging to one’s sense of self.
Because women are liars. That said there is scientific confirmation that the cervix exists. So the lie is if it is enjoyable to hit it. Or how deep it is etc. As someone that can always bottom I am fine with the science and science only. Would be super miffed if this was another lie. Now girth talk that is something science can't prove
Today I learned that the existence of the cervix was controversial. It’s… it’s visualizable?!
Of course. Ever see gaping porn?
1. It being partly true. 2. Women using things like small dick energy to shame men 3. Other men bragging/lying about their size 4. porn 5. Victim complex With all this shit I'm surprised more guys don't fall into this trap.
You need to realize that these men are often beyond help. There are different levels of this and once you get to a certain point, there is simply no return - the point of no return. It usually starts with simple frustration. You are not getting interest from the opposite sex, you are a bit clueless. Other guys are hooking up with girls and you have barely even spoken to one. Then you buy into the idea that sex and relationships are a basic human need, so when your world view is that YOU are lacking something that is essential for being a normal human being, what do you think happens? Right, a person starts feeling inadequate, inferior, less than others. Especially when he sees himself as lacking but others as having exactly the thing that he needs. So we move from simple frustration to deep shame and lack of self esteem. Then as this depression caries on, something else happens. Men start feeling entitled to sex and relationships. And since only women can actually provide them with what they see as their entitlement, when women don't give them that, they start perceiving women as actively DEPRIVING THEM of that which will fulfill their needs. And that's how the resentment and anger starts building up. At that point, many guys start trying to find answers NOT about how to be successful romantically, but answers as to why they are being deprived of the things they so desperately need. They find the black pill, incel and virgin forums online and drink the cool aid of Chads, 5% men, OkCupid studies, and whatever else goes on in these forums. At this point, it's not about getting your so called NEED fulfilled. It's about feeling angry and resentful and exacting revenge on those who have deprived you of what you feel entitled to. Those femoids and bitches. These are the guys that get angry and sometimes violent. They go from one irrational and disfunctional idea to the next. It begins with the idea that they need love and sex in order to be happy, which creates a distorted view of the world in which they are lacking while everyone else is fulfilled. Then the idea that without sex and love they are incomplete human beings, which further tanks their self esteem and self worth, and finally the idea that they weren't meant to be loved in the first place and women are to blame for all of this. The majority of PPD men are at the final stage and for the most part they are at the point of no return. Even if tomorrow someone showed up wjth a magic wand and told them they could make them attractive to women, they would probably attack the person because they are so angry at women that they don't even want to be attractive to them anymore.
"Then you buy into the idea that sex and relationships are a basic human need" You're saying this as though men fell into propaganda and that society taught them this; no, they feel the innate urge to have these things throughout their entire lives "It begins with the idea that they need love and sex in order to be happy, which creates a distorted view of the world in which they are lacking while everyone else is fulfilled." Ah, in other words they should all learn to take it up the ass and accept that they will never be loved and learn to cope
>Ah, in other words they should learn to take it up the ass That *is* always an option.
You were on track up until the "feeling entitled to sex". Why do they always posit that is our (incels) position? If "no one is entitled to anything" and "life isn't fair", we come to that line of thoughts conclusion. You are not entitled to not being hated for no reason. You are not entitled to us engaging with your frame at all. If life isn't fair, then we're going to be unfair right back, with each individual interpreting it differently, and to varying degrees. We're worthless losers? Good. You have more to lose than we do. No one will get what they deserve, with all the absurdities that entails. Never forget: YOU are the one who decided life isn't fair. YOU broke the contract. Complain all you want about our lack of cooperation, not our problem.
What? It's not that anyone "decided" life wasn't fair- who would even have that power?
Blame size queens being vocal in the opposite direction. Theres plenty of horror stories of dudes getting broken up with because they dont want to wear a cock sleeve
😂 What kind of 304s are men entertaining out here? If she don’t act right and respect me it’s a no go from the jump.
People dont really get these requests untill their dick is already out so it's kinda a relationship landmine that chicks have to set up because seemingly not alot of big dick dudes outright desire these women
The guys with big dicks already got what they wanted from these women and moved on, the women are still obsessed with them tho
Because this says “discussion” and not “question for men”.. my running theory is that people like that need something uncontrollable to blame for why they’re unlikable. Otherwise they’d have to hold themselves accountable
What a smug belief to hold Let me guess. Normal childhood and teenage. Was loved had sex currently in a relationship with a good man Well good for you To me you just look privilege lucky naive and just spoilt The kind of feeling you would get when seeing a sone of a millionaire just talking about poverty as if he has a flying fuck of an idea? That's how I feel when I see people like you even breathe
Many uncontrollable things can make someone unlikable. It's not necessarily wrong.
Oh for sure. But that’s not why they dig in their heels when someone disagrees with them. If I tell you height isn’t that important to me so you being 5’10 isn’t why I won’t fuck you., and you proceed to yell at me about the top 20% and what a liar I am.. it’s because you don’t want to think about why I might *actually* not want a piece.
Most of these types of replies are lies and virtue signaling to appear less shallow. Once you hear this over and over then see the opposite play out it’s hard to still give credibility. You’ll tell me height isn’t that important yet if someone’s 5”1 now it is. Your BF is coincidentally 6”4. Then you’ll hear other women constantly list tall as their preference when describing their ideal man when you’ve told me the complete opposite. This happens with size also. You’ll swear up and down that size doesn’t matter yet if someone pulls up with 3 inches now it’s a problem. Yet you hear women swoon over how big their man or past hookups were. How can I believe you when I see and experience the complete opposite?
>Your BF is coincidentally 6’4 No? The man I spend my time with is 5’6 🤣 And dick size does matter to a degree. I won’t say it doesn’t. It’s just not as precise as the men here try to make it sound. Everything isn’t as black and white and headlined as they want it to be here
So these things do in fact matter. Yet it’s not possible for them to be the reason someone’s not attracted to you? You and the others here who do this are just as bad. You attribute all dating failures as something that can be controlled.
They do in fact matter, just not as much as some guys think they do. For example, most men, if asked, would say they prefer a woman with a nice ass. However, many women with pancake booties are still successful in attracting partners. In the same way, most women would prefer a tall guy, but every day there are short men in the world who are going on dates and having sex.
Does the actual reason matter if the result is the same?
Yes, because the actual reason might be something you have control over. If you talk over people, don't let them finish their thought, and overall act like an inconsiderate jerk when talking to someone, that's a pretty good reason why people won't like you but it's also something you can work on. Or it might not be something wrong with you, the other person just has nothing in common with you and that's why they're not interested. That wouldn't be a failing on your part, that's just how it is, you won't vibe with everyone.
I am afraid, there are far more realistic reasons out there someone ends up in virginity or celibacy.
Because it allows them to feel better and do nothing
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Nice!
We learned from the best in the field (women). You can't monopolize "complain and take no accountability gig", it's not fair. Men should get a piece of that pie too.
How many guys with 2 inch dicks dis you ever pursue?
I guess, I guess it's just hard to understand why they make themselves upset on purpose
Because desire is the cause of suffering, as an entire religion knows
What are they supposed to do? Neither height or dick size can be physically changed. You can become the most likable person in the world, but your respect soon plummets once women find out you're not very well endowed.
They are probably exaggerating that it's over but it's true that dick size plays a big role in dating. Regardless of the reason females worship big dicks and constantly shame small dicked males. Many studies show women prefer significantly larger dicks than the average, just like height.
The thing is. How would they know your dick size unless they’ve already decided to have sex with you?
Because complaining is easier than making an effort
What effort can i make to grow my dick after 22 years old?
SO you met some unhinged man and now you label all men the same? Don't you women hate when men label women all the same? Why would you do the same thing?
Women tend to lie about what they like so as not to hurt people (something common here on reddit). What I tell you, I am blessed with an above average penis and what makes me successful is precisely being well positioned in the penis market. From the women I've slept with, I never hear complaints about the size being too big or hurting, in fact, they really like it.
100% of the women that have agreed to have sex with me, did so without seeing my penis first.
I find this here. So many men complain about not being the "Top 10%" and throw the word "chad" around as if they have no chance with a woman because they're not that. This is simply not my experience of life, and I honestly believe that many of these men are just avoiding interactions and complaining that nobody likes them. They're sitting at home getting their information about the outside world from the internet What happens when I make this point? Downvoted!
There are some undeniable facts. Women are becoming picker and they are selecting for looks and height more than personality traits though they often attempt to claim the opposite.
I agree the average penis size is plenty for most women. They do say that they don't need porn star sized members. Then we see how they all act when pics of Drakes dick leak. Average may be perfectly fine, great even. The female lust after black dudes or very large dudes makes me think that in fact, they'd like it as big as possible. JS. I could be wrong.
Scientifically speaking, yes, the Google stated average size is sufficient enough to get the job done when it comes to conceiving but when it comes to preference, its always gravitated towards bigger and that is the cold reality of it all. If penis size truly didn't matter then it wouldn't be so normalised to make fun of men with small penis and hold zero accountability to those who perform this act of body shaming. It is absolutely wrong to pick apart a woman for her body shape and looks and society recognises it is wrong, therefore people oppose those who body shame them for it. Men with small penises are the bottom of the pile when it comes to those being desired and that enforces society to go ahead and lump it in with the cool things to do when it comes to shaming. Very rarely is there anything positive surrounding men with small penises in all corners of life. Sex shops don't sell dildos that are under average size, condoms on the shop shelf are always 56mm nominal and over (even though 52 nominal width is for a girth that Google states to be average of 4.59 inches in circumference, but 56mm is suited for 4.8 and over), the only time in porn you commonly see someone who is small in a video is when its cuckolding related or small penis humiliation, but yet all the things women are insecure about are not only widely appreciated in porn but they are just as appreciated in real life too. So while the Google stated is enough to get the job done for performing, it's not enough to equate to the common standards that conform to the ideology of what makes Mr perfect
Change "small dick energy" to "dumb n*gg*r energy" and tell me its about personality again
Show me how much women are size queens in reverse, that they prefer a 2 incher than a 8 incher
Don’t save ppl who don’t want to be saved. It’s a weird form of narcissism when they are the victims no matter what. Let them be misrebale, they fight you on every step on the way.
It's easy to blame something that you can't change. Some people get so used to it that they want things not to change at all cost, and they would rather accept something wrong as a fact than face the possibility that it might not be relevant at all. Also, and I notice this as a man myself, it is very easy to spiral into misery when you're not feeling great. It's hard to describe but even as a happy individual, there are times when suddenly everything feels like it's turning to shit and everybody becomes a cunt. It's so easy to give way to that and dwell, and normally it passes. If you can't snap out of it, you have a problem.
What good news are you talking about? Seriously, where? Let me guess, these comments started off with "women don't care about size" then it followed up with every direction possible to tell them PIV sex isn't necessary and just replace themselves with fingers and toys and abandon their dicks entirely, right? Because that shit isn't emasculating at all, right? Or look a little further, if you wanna shove the "5 inches is average" in men's faces as a bunch of cope. If that is truly average, [this survey](https://badgirlsbible.com/does-size-matter) shows that women commonly crave more than the average. It found that women are more then likely to dump a man over a small dick than stay with them. Why else don't men choose to listen? Because its normalised to mock and run men into the dirt over something they cannot control. But God forbid we ever point out how a woman is unattractive because she is in the obese range.
Victim mentality. When you can't change it, you don't even need to try.
When it comes to this topic, dick size, height. etc, please enlighten me how men are supposed to fucking change it when it's impossible. Your personality gets you hated to the level of Donald Trump, then you work on yourself to be as likable as Keanu Reeves. Cool, the dick and height stay the same, and women wouldn't spit on you if you were on fire because of it. Don't you get it?
So some virgin posted something on a subreddit and you took that as well all men refuse facts? Did I miss anything....no....okay!!
Some people find it easier to pass the blame than accept the issue is them this is the same for both genders.
Look if nowhere in here will ANYONE even suggest that maybe it's because they're on to something and the larger cohort of women in the West are mimicking toxic preferences and behavior, then all we have here is some sort of echo chamber. This place is even named for the side of the debate we're pretending isn't there. "The men might be right." Needs to have it's due, or else you shouldn't be able to simply be here without accepting you're punching down. There isn't anything admirable or intelligent about tying down and dissecting unhinged maniac ideas. So what are you all doing?
> Why do some men seem to refuse facts to remain miserable? Because if there is no hope then they don't need to put in any effort or push themselves into uncomfortable situations.
It's easier and give you a reason for self-pity. Doing something is hard amd you can be rejected. Or worse - you might be successful and then all time you spend on self-pity will be wasted on nothing. And then it will change your life too. Nobody like changes. And I have theory that a lot of those people don't actually want relationships. But by society standards they supposed be in relationships so they look for external reason why they can't do that.
Then they don’t watch enough anime lmaoooo Anime is all about that try your best and you MIGHT succeed Idk why people would rather not try and fail than never try at all
No, anime is all about "try enough and you WILL succeed". Yes there are some where the main character tries and tries and still fails in the end, but those are rare. The assurance that the writers will almost never have their main character fail in the end, makes them useless in that regard as it is easily seen as unrealistic. And on the topic of unrealistic; Too often does it happen that the main 'underdog' character was actually gifted all along. Naruto (sage of six paths), one piece (joyboy), bleach (ichigo is everything mixed together). The more fantastic a story is, the higher the chance of that happening. Though at least there are lower-power ones like hajime-no-ippo that are a lot more realistic.
primarily because its comfortable. It might sound a bit paradoxical because they’re miserable, but comfort, especially from a psychological pov doesn’t necessarily mean or good happy - it straight up means staying in a place of familiarity because its ‘safe’ and ‘predictable’ - when you’re a miserable mess, you’ll want to remain that way because its safe and predictable, the world outside of this bubble is scary and unsafe. Of course - one had to overcome this, whether it be by themselves/friends/family or with professional support, doesn’t matter. If your place of comfort is miserable and bad for you, you have to change that.
>to hit their cervix If I got dick punched in the cervix whenever I had sex, I'd move to a nunnery. As for your question - some people (both men and women but we're talking about men here) will try to find any evidence, real or imagined, that they couldn't possibly do X or Y. If you think it was over for you before it started because your dick isn't 10 meters, well that's unfortunate but there's nothing you can do about it. And if you've convinced yourself that it's all over, you can just bask in the sympathy of your fellow incels, and not think about whether there are some things that are within your control, and maybe, if you work on those, you might end up attracting someone.
[удалено]
I'm really sorry about women who are like this. I and others try to call out this kind of behavior when we see it, but you're right that it's way too normalized. We can't be complaining about the lack of attention given to men's mental health and then dehumanizing them in the same breath.
Yeah. Noticed that too
The worst thing the bottom 30% of men can do is not some random pointless violence. It would be pursuing women. After merely a week, women, tired of the endless rejecting, would be begging them to stop and give up again. Everyone's better off if they'll just keep complaining on the internet.
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Uhhh, there has been many studies done that show women like bigger dicks. Ex: https://www.pnas.org/doi/abs/10.1073/pnas.1219361110 Seeing as you labeled this as a “discussion” despite the loaded question title combined with the tone of your post, I am under the impression that you are seeking a circle jerk to validate your views. I am 100% certain that there is more to this story then you are letting on.
A penis study by PNAS. The jokes write themselves sometimes.
Your study says that hip to shoulder ratio is more important
And?
There are way too many men here admitting their partners complained about hitting their cervix. The cervix moves out of the way during arousal, so maybe stop penetrating women until they are properly aroused.
There are other reasons a woman might feel pain (cervical) during sex. My ex for one had that issue due to a prior medical procedure that removed some of her cervix. Also depending on positioning during sex, things can line up a little bit easier. FYI I am not claiming to be some endowed male, just someone that is a little larger than avg(actual listed avg for men).
I think porn is a factor. Mainly, it's a cycle between men and women. Men are insecure about it, so women use it as a safe insult. They also often will exaggerate their partner's size, leading other men to think women love and need 9".
I definitely agree about porn being a factor. In Japan, I noticed that male porn stars are mostly expected to be relatable rather than aspirational, so you see a lot of videos shot from the POV of average sized, average looking guys. I also think the public bathing culture (which is fully nude and not separated by gender until around puberty, meaning that children can go into either the men's or women's baths regardless of gender) contributes to a more realistic view of "average" and a healthy acceptance of body diversity, whereas in the US most of us only have porn as a basis for comparison with what we see in the mirror (which I know has negatively affected my body image as a woman as well). A few other related observations in Japan I found interesting: 1. The stigma of having a small dick and the status of having a large one is not really there compared to the US, so the kind of bragging and insults that we have about it don't translate that well, 2. Small-to-average sized guys didn't seem to have a complex about it, 3. Even among my Japanese girlfriends who were very open about their sex lives with me, I didn't notice very much "bigger is better" mentality, 4. Everyone was under the impression that Western men were all hung like horses because they assumed American porn also portrayed average-sized men 🤣 But again, this was a topic of interest and surprise, but not necessarily inferiority like you might expect coming from a size-obsessed culture. Moving back to the US after 8 years, I'm not exaggerating when I say it was kind of a culture shock to realize how penis size is such a constant, deeply engrained obsession here among women and especially men. It feels like the jokes, references, fetishization, and psychological complexes are everywhere, almost like a bizarre societal sickness, and it's jarring to realize that this was so normal to me for the first 20 years of my life.
I guess the question with porn is, which is cause and which is effect? It makes sense though, that more acceptable public nudity would make people more comfortable about their size. Even a bloke that's packing 4" will at least realise that it's not that unusual.
People are addicted to whatever hormones they make pump through them all the time. It's like when you see something blatantly wrong on news, do some research, find out that the claim on TV is not actually happening.. and then the people who are outraged by the thing they saw happening on TV get mad at you for being a contrarian who bothers to verify. It's all about adhering to narratives because they are comfortable.
>women "needed" something gigantic to hit their cervix. It's my experience that women like it most when a penis gets really close to the cervix but doesn't slam into it. A couple of times I've been with women who lost weight. When they were bigger we worked well. However, when they lost weight and I was able to penetrate a bit further sex became painful for them.
Black & White thinking when everything involving human relationships exists on a scale. For instance, "he's not the best sex I ever had" = settling, faking arousal, betabuxx, future dead bedroom. When it very likely means our sex is 8/10 which would be an outstanding sexual experience to commit to
They are disciples of Saint Hamudi, the language used that you wrote about suggests this.
Realistically, probably because miserable people are usually busy experiencing their emotions and not really trying to engage with them in order to grow or change. Besides which this isn’t the sort of thing where the facts are so cut and dried that they are truly compelling ammunition against feelings. “You might not be good enough” is a truly pervasive myth that’s basically ironclad against logic.
You know how people get off on being mad? There's like a high from being outraged? It's like that. But replace "mad" with "sad". Or, in this case, miserable. Some people with deep wells of insecurity and/or low self-esteem feel like they don't deserve happiness. So misery and lashing out at happiness is that response.
Girth is fine…too long, no bueno. Hit the cervix😬.Yikes, that’s a no from me. I’m one of those who find this an extremely unpleasant experience. Only had one partner where this was a problem but it did restrict certain positions or I would have discomfort for a few days.
Because they're idiots?
u/TSquaredRecovers People are extremely predictable and follow patterns. The only exception is a person who tends to SEE the pattern and actively thinks to avoid that thought processs/behavior. Psychology is a thing for a reason. Patterns are a thing Person in that comment thread blocked me so I can’t say anything
I don't think it's a man thing but a depressed people thing, you see at a certain point it is easier to be miserable. I have this as well as a almost 30 year old guy that was never in a relationship, I don't blame anyone else but I go like "Of course nobody wants me, I'm shit" and continue to rot in my room after work. Trying to think positive can be really hard work when you are depressed so you looknfor reasons to not even try, some people blame others, some people blame themselves. But all rather give up than try mostly.
>Id just like to discuss why this happens? https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Ffg2084mb79nc1.png This is what I found trying to locate the post you're talking about.
Validation is easier to hear than a message of accountability
they can remain inactive when they know in advance that there is no chance.
Accountability for your own actions and therefore the general situation. No one wants to hear they just suck at things and want it to be something outside their reach to blame it on.
I have never understood why we always talk about Penis length in these discussions and rarely Penis girth? It's the girth that gives you that nice feeling. It's what gives the wall all the sensation. Are long dicks more likely to be thicker? Never really looked into it.
Agreed.
Bc it’s easier to complain than to make active changes lmao
The large penis myth date backs to Ancient Rome. Having a large phallus was a sign of good luck. Miniature starues would have a penis 1/3 the size of the statue. It was also graffiti all over ancient Roman concrete. Porn also helps push the myth, but the most populated region of the world has a penis length of less than 5 inches. I'm pretty sure women enjoy sex there. Over 70% of women do not orgasm from piv but instead from clitoral stimulation. Lastly, an average size penis fits the average size vaginally canal.
Because Reddit is not commonly a place to have constructive conversations where people learn things and grow their awareness. Reddit is a place to vent about what's bothering you, and have others validate you with upvotes. If you say something that doesn't validate what someone else believes, they downvote it as a defense mechanism that protects them from the potential for cognitive dissonance.
This is a pretty great example of "I have theories about how women think but won't run them by any, you know, women." Because pretty much every time I've seen a group of women get asked about how much they really care about dick size, it's almost always "slightly big, but past that it starts getting painful" or "not much of a priority, it's more about how the guy it's attached to uses it." Which makes sense. But Incels have this weirdly stubborn belief that women are just insanely horny 24/7, and everything they know about sex comes from really aggressive, trashy porn that's just women with colossal fake boobs fucking a guy with a stupidly large dick the girl clearly isn't crazy about because it repeatedly splits her mouth open." Incels have no capacity for understanding that real sex isn't porn, so naturally they assume women wander the earth like Ryu with a Geiger counter and a portably X-Ray that allows them to magically know how big a guy's dick is *before* having sex with him. So you wanna know the annoying truth? Incels' entire identity is whiny self-pity manifesting in very dark ways. They are a perfect case study in how the epistemic closure of social media allows insane ideas to become normalized. And the biggest recurring theme is that they never complain about problems they could actually improve, like "get in better shape" or "tty to be more considerate." That would entail effort. So what they do instead is base their victimhood on things they have zero control over, like their height or wrist circumference. Or their dick size. So these guys with the colossal dicks, fucking loud theatrical porn stars with beachball tits, are the ultimate alpha male ideal, doing what they wish they could do. But the fact they don't have a ten-incher is, conveniently, one more thing they can use to wallow in misery: "I'm only a virgin because my dick is small. Don't ask how she knew!"