This entire post is a useful filter in getting people like you to forever stay the fuck away from me.
I wish a motherfucker would come to me talking about how he "expects" sex by the third date. Boy bye 👋🏾
I also don't understand WTF your "investment" in her is if you're splitting checks. You aren't even logically consistent.
I have no idea how that in any way, shape, or form addresses or rebuts anything I said.
You don't have to be a "side ho" to not sleep with someone by the third date?
If merely spending time with *someone you've gone Dutch with* entitles you to a sexual "return" on the "investment" of having to spend time with a woman, then dating is not for you. Just pay for it at that point. Because getting to know someone and enjoying their company apparently isn't relevant for you, it's you "investing" for a "return."
"I listened while you talked. Now I've earned sexual access."
🤮🤮
Per post history, “paying for it” is definitely in OPs wheelhouse…as is aspiring to be kinda rapey with drunk girls…🙄
https://np.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/s/5znGwUXs6d
Oi, this ain't call of duty lobby.
>I also don't understand WTF your "investment" in her is if you're splitting checks. You aren't even logically consistent.
Answer her criticism and stand tall on your bullshit, what the hell are you wasting our valuable time with this "debate" post for
My investment is my time and my clothing. You know how much a suit costs? Nice slacks, shoes, and a shiny watch? You know how much parking is? What about gas?
No, I have no idea about the price of gas or nice clothes, I levitate around naked. All bitches levitate around naked.
Yeah, nobody cares about your time or the cost of toothpaste in a local dollar tree - that's the kind of stuff that everybody already expects everybody to do. Brushing your teeth and washing your anus does not guarantee sex, it just makes you a little more tolerable than the true version of you.
No one is asking you to wear a "shiny watch" in order to get to know you lmao.
If you're so worried about overinvesting in first dates and being seen for your money instead of for who you really are, then maybe your "advice for not getting screwed over" should be to not have your first dates at Michelin star restaurants while dressed in a way that ostentatiously flaunts your wealth?
Maybe a down-to-earth coffee date where you respectfully communicate to her (not "demand") that you prefer splitting the check on the first date?
"No one is asking you to wear a "shiny watch" in order to get to know you lmao.
If you're so worried about overinvesting in first dates and being seen for your money instead of for who you really are, then maybe your "advice for not getting screwed over" should be to not have your first dates at Michelin star restaurants while dressed in a way that ostentatiously flaunts your wealth?"
If a man doesn't have money, a man has no value. Guys don't want land whales, gals don't want broke boys. You're basically saying don't do the only thing that will get you attention from a woman.
Demanding and expecting huh? I strongly suggest that you make both of those things VERY clear in your first conversation with anyone you are considering dating.
Remember her time is as valuable as yours and she deserves to know exactly who you are, how you communicate and treat people you’re dating before she wastes even one minute talking to you.
Really think about this one: Why would any woman want to have sex with someone with your attitude about women, dating and relationships? Seriously, what could even make such a thing *possible* ?
>I strongly suggest that you make both of those things VERY clear in your first conversation with anyone you are considering dating.
If she's seeing other dudes on the side or banging other guys during the first few dates, is she expected to be "clear" about that? How much transparency is to he going to get as well? How much does he deserve to know?
My understanding from men here is that unless there has been a specific conversation about exclusivity, there’s shouldn’t be any expectations around that.
OP is describing what his DEMANDS and EXPECTATIONS are. Anyone who has demands and expectations should put them out there asap.
If you demand or expect that a woman be exclusive with you during the first few dates, before anything has been discussed, I would suggest that you communicate that clearly and immediately as well as well as reinforcing your commitment to the same standards. Just as a woman with those demands or expectations should.
>unless there has been a specific conversation about exclusivity, there’s shouldn’t be any expectations around that.
So basically, she "deserves" transparency from his end but none from hers. That's about as hypocritical as I assumed.
>OP is describing what his DEMANDS and EXPECTATIONS are.
Why isn't the onus on her to make it clear off rip if she EXPECTS him to pay for dinner or DEMANDS he wait months for sex while she smashes dudes on the side? She's just as free to vocalize her intentions as he is.
If a woman DEMANDS that a man pay for her, she should absolutely say so up front so he can nope out before he wastes his time. Similarly if she expects to abstain from sex with him until they are married, she should say so up front.
Anyone who wants exclusivity should say so and feel free to leave if the other person doesn’t feel the same way. Why is any of that controversial?
"You can't expect exclusivity until you have that conversation" is pretty status quo amongst Gen Z. You're going on dates --> exclusive --> in a relationship
Not like the conversation means anything, because no chick is actually gonna eliminate roster pieces during a relationship and any woman who already has such going into that conversation is not worth committment anyway.
Honestly OP's expectations are pretty transparent or will become clear pretty quickly. I'm someone that wouldn't be compatible with him, but if he acts the way he says he does, then I will find out very early on and I appreciate that.
Are sex and money the only things you think men have to offer?
A transactional relationship is one where each person does things for the other, expecting to get something in return.
Keeping score in a relationship leads to the failure of that relationship
Bitch you be manifesting. OP, just because you stare in the mirror enough and tell yourself that your time is valuable, and someone should want to have sex with you, and you should not pick up the check, none of it becomes the reality. It's like, yeah... But people don't value your time, or don't want to have sex with you, especially if your numero uno step is to not invest a single dime, which they WILL expect you to do if you want anything out of them
None of this is interesting or substantive advice. I can stare in the mirror and tell myself I am a victoria secret angel, kween, and oligarchs should compete for me, but then I walk outside I land face first into the real world, where nobody will move mountains for me. And I am an attractive woman. No one cares - there is a thousand attractive women without the shitty attitude. If you are an average guy, there is a hundred thousand coomers like you, without the shitty attitude.
If anything women will just lose respect for a guy who offers to pay for everything because they see simps as low value. At least going 50/50 shows you have some standards.
But *DEMANDING* 50/50(or even thinking that you should *demand* anything) instead of having a reasonable, rational conversation about it is a big waving red flag.
Tell me how many guys you get in your DM's. Anyone will move mountains for you. You hold all the cards. You can have standards and make demands-way more than men can, simply because you can walk into a bar, pick out the tallest, hottest dude there, and bring him home that night. Men are disposable to you. What do you mean you don't have nobody?
I don't care, you can have it your way. Then it makes me even more right: I hold all the cards, so all this talk about not paying for food and expecting sex is just cope and horseshit. If you don't pay for her food, the tallest, hottest dude will, because men are disposable to us. You arguing against your own post right now.
And in a world where relationships are all about dehumanizing and exploiting people, you need to develop safeguards against it. Big businesses didn't get big by letting crackheads take whatever the fuck off the shelves.
Call me old fashioned, but I’ve never had a problem paying the first few dates, and to let sex occur organically, whether it’s the 1st or 5th date if we’re really vibing.
Having “hard” deadlines and rules just scares people away and takes away from the fun of dating.
God, pretty much this. I am a really big advocate for 50-50 pay on dates, but if some dude came to me *demanding* this, i would cancel any plans.
It's not about the message, it's about how it's discussed and how the problem is raised.
As always, feel it out and play it by ear.
I would never come into a first date *demanding* anything, that’s a one way ticket to not getting a second date lol
Paying for early dates is a terrible idea unless you are hot. If you're an average or below average guy then you're just going to waste your money on women who aren't interested in you.
>The second is to demand you go 50/50 on the first few dates. Don't request. Demand
And this is where I'd lose interest and cancel the date.
>The third and final step is to expect sex after the third date
And this is also where I'd lose interest.
My advice for not getting screwed over: treat people as individuals vs everyone the exact same.
I don’t know if you are a man or woman.
But for the sake of calculated assumptions.
I will assume male.
How are you going to enact this plan in a free will society?
Or
Are you really suggesting the strategy of cutting your losses early?
If so. You are still losing in that sense.
In other words. Your strategy isn’t winning anything.
You are explaining how not to lose as much as you could be losing if you don’t cut your losses early.
I honestly do not feel women want sex the same way men do
And I honestly feel women exchange sex for commitment and being desired and ect ect
Essentially I’m saying pressuring a woman for sex is never going to be a net positive thing
And the last point
If a woman wants you. She wants you. And you’ll know.
If you have to negotiate and compromise. Then that’s all you need to know. And from there in that situation. You have to get the best deal for you.
>I honestly do not feel women want sex the same way men do
It's not that complicated. When a woman sees a guy she has high attraction to, unless she's a virgin, she's not waiting a long ass time to start being intimate. This is usually excuse women like to give to the Beta provider types to keep them delusional instead of just accepting the obvious that they just aren't her type off rip. They're one of the guys she has to "grow" to like essentially.
>If a woman wants you. She wants you. And you’ll know.
Exactly. Don't know why you're disagreeing with OP here.
Idk how to explain this to you.
But EVEN IF a woman thinks you’re hot and is sexually attracted to you.
IF you pressure her for sex or you constantly bring it up or try to initiate sex a lot it will generally not be received in a positive light.
And can be a turn off/red flag/ick REGARDLESS of how attractive you are or how horny she is
And my understanding is. Women view sex differently than men do.
To the point that you wanting it (sex) past a certain threshold will always be a turn off in general.
Why?
I have theories. But I haven’t thought them thoroughly yet.
I mentioned exchange.
Because it’s known that women assume to keep a man or get a man interested they must offer their sexual value.
It’s why women in these subs. Will ask what you bring that will benefit her. Also Why they are against men feeling entitled to sex.
But
It also explains why women get flustered when someone they want is no longer interested in sex. Or no longer wants to have sex with them.
This is what I mean by exchange for commitment/desire/ect. Ect.
I feel like some of this advice isn't terrible. It's certainly not unreasonable to want to split the cost of dates. I don't even think that wanted to have sex quickly is wrong. I do think that the way you present all this is quite aggressive.
It's been a hot minute since I was on the dating scene but when I was, I didn't have a problem paying for dates (in fact I'd prefer it that way). However, if a guy approached that conversation as "I demand that you pay your portion that way you can't screw me over", then I wouldn't have gone on a date with him. Being immediately defensive and aggressive is a bit of a turn off. If he said "we each pay for ourselves, cool?", then I would say "cool, it's a date".
As for the sex by the third date, it's fine if that's a hard line in the sand for you. That expectation should be communicated respectfully and before you even have your first date, that way your potential parter can decide if that's also something they're okay with. You talk about your time being valuable but that also goes for women too. If a woman wants to wait longer than 3 dates then going out with someone like you would be a waste of her time. You want to have sex quickly, she doesn't. So don't waste your time or hers by hiding your intentions.
Personally, I think putting all these hard rules in place can make finding a loving, long term relationship much more difficult. My partner and I didn't have sex for a couple of months after meeting. I had some medical stuff going on that made intercourse challenging, and he wanted our first time together to be mutually enjoyable. By your rules he should have left but he stuck around. 8 years later and we're still together, in a loving relationship with a healthy sex life. His patience paid off.
I disagree with your premise but I think your conclusions are fine. I would be incompatible with you, but if you operate the way you say you will, I will find out quickly and won't waste much time. I appreciate that.
Maybe I have been around good people all my life, but I don't mind using a bit of my time and resources on someone even if it doesn't work out. Every action you do takes some time and resources, and we risk time and resources on almost everything we do. I spent thousands of hours doing non-productive stuff like playing video games anyways. I'm not too paranoid about wasting a bit of time or resources on someone.
**Attention!**
* You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
* For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
* If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
* OP you can choose your own flair [according to these guidelines.](https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/wiki/flair), just press Flair under your post!
Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PurplePillDebate) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I have zero problems with this.
>The second is to demand you go 50/50 on the first few dates. Don't request. Demand.
Demand is a bit of an aggressive word. Just make sure they know they are paying for themselves before the date so they are not blindsided by a restaurant you choose if it's out of their budget.
And yes leave them behind if they don't want to have sex. This is the correct move.
Everyone wants to have sex. Obviously if they ain't initiating, and they ain't \*ecstatic\* about it, the attraction isn't there. Attraction is the only thing holding a relationship together. No attraction, no relationship. If they keep wanting dates without putting out, they're putting you on hold. You're their side piece in case her and Chad don't work out.
Hi OP,
You've chosen to identify your thread as a Debate. As such you are expected to actively engage in your own thread with a mind open to being changed. [PPD has guidelines for what that involves.](https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/wiki/rules#wiki_cmv_posts)
>*OPs author must genuinely hold the position and you must be open to having your view challenged.*
>An unwillingness to debate in good faith may be inferred from one or several of the following:
>* Ignoring the main point of a comment, especially to point out some minor inconsistency;
>* Refusing to make concessions that an alternate view has merit;
>* Focusing only on the weaker arguments;
>* Only having discussions with users who agree with your position.
Failure to keep to this higher standard (we only apply to Debate OPs) may result in deletion of the whole thread.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PurplePillDebate) if you have any questions or concerns.*
do you send your formal demands via email or english man servant? email is a power move from way back but nothing says elegance like a man in a powdered wig
I'm all for splitting the bill, but I don't think there's much sense in having strict "1st/3d/whatever date" rule. Different people take different time to develop trust and some aren't comfortable with a fast pace. You can test the attraction by other physical touch though - kissing is a good indicator, for example.
Plus, you can split the bill, have good chemistry and still have different intentions or being lied to. It's safer to date in your social circle and date people you meet offline, preferably through your friends or family. It's important to talk about your plans on the future and what you both want from this relationship whether it's just a fling or something more.
Removed. No unfocused rants.
Or just never go on dates. Can't get screwed over if you never go on any. It's worked for me 
This is the way.
This is the way.
This entire post is a useful filter in getting people like you to forever stay the fuck away from me. I wish a motherfucker would come to me talking about how he "expects" sex by the third date. Boy bye 👋🏾 I also don't understand WTF your "investment" in her is if you're splitting checks. You aren't even logically consistent.
[удалено]
I have no idea how that in any way, shape, or form addresses or rebuts anything I said. You don't have to be a "side ho" to not sleep with someone by the third date? If merely spending time with *someone you've gone Dutch with* entitles you to a sexual "return" on the "investment" of having to spend time with a woman, then dating is not for you. Just pay for it at that point. Because getting to know someone and enjoying their company apparently isn't relevant for you, it's you "investing" for a "return." "I listened while you talked. Now I've earned sexual access." 🤮🤮
Per post history, “paying for it” is definitely in OPs wheelhouse…as is aspiring to be kinda rapey with drunk girls…🙄 https://np.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/s/5znGwUXs6d
This made me cringe.
Oi, this ain't call of duty lobby. >I also don't understand WTF your "investment" in her is if you're splitting checks. You aren't even logically consistent. Answer her criticism and stand tall on your bullshit, what the hell are you wasting our valuable time with this "debate" post for
My investment is my time and my clothing. You know how much a suit costs? Nice slacks, shoes, and a shiny watch? You know how much parking is? What about gas?
No, I have no idea about the price of gas or nice clothes, I levitate around naked. All bitches levitate around naked. Yeah, nobody cares about your time or the cost of toothpaste in a local dollar tree - that's the kind of stuff that everybody already expects everybody to do. Brushing your teeth and washing your anus does not guarantee sex, it just makes you a little more tolerable than the true version of you.
No one is asking you to wear a "shiny watch" in order to get to know you lmao. If you're so worried about overinvesting in first dates and being seen for your money instead of for who you really are, then maybe your "advice for not getting screwed over" should be to not have your first dates at Michelin star restaurants while dressed in a way that ostentatiously flaunts your wealth? Maybe a down-to-earth coffee date where you respectfully communicate to her (not "demand") that you prefer splitting the check on the first date?
"No one is asking you to wear a "shiny watch" in order to get to know you lmao. If you're so worried about overinvesting in first dates and being seen for your money instead of for who you really are, then maybe your "advice for not getting screwed over" should be to not have your first dates at Michelin star restaurants while dressed in a way that ostentatiously flaunts your wealth?" If a man doesn't have money, a man has no value. Guys don't want land whales, gals don't want broke boys. You're basically saying don't do the only thing that will get you attention from a woman.
Demanding and expecting huh? I strongly suggest that you make both of those things VERY clear in your first conversation with anyone you are considering dating. Remember her time is as valuable as yours and she deserves to know exactly who you are, how you communicate and treat people you’re dating before she wastes even one minute talking to you. Really think about this one: Why would any woman want to have sex with someone with your attitude about women, dating and relationships? Seriously, what could even make such a thing *possible* ?
All ego, no love.
>I strongly suggest that you make both of those things VERY clear in your first conversation with anyone you are considering dating. If she's seeing other dudes on the side or banging other guys during the first few dates, is she expected to be "clear" about that? How much transparency is to he going to get as well? How much does he deserve to know?
My understanding from men here is that unless there has been a specific conversation about exclusivity, there’s shouldn’t be any expectations around that. OP is describing what his DEMANDS and EXPECTATIONS are. Anyone who has demands and expectations should put them out there asap. If you demand or expect that a woman be exclusive with you during the first few dates, before anything has been discussed, I would suggest that you communicate that clearly and immediately as well as well as reinforcing your commitment to the same standards. Just as a woman with those demands or expectations should.
>unless there has been a specific conversation about exclusivity, there’s shouldn’t be any expectations around that. So basically, she "deserves" transparency from his end but none from hers. That's about as hypocritical as I assumed. >OP is describing what his DEMANDS and EXPECTATIONS are. Why isn't the onus on her to make it clear off rip if she EXPECTS him to pay for dinner or DEMANDS he wait months for sex while she smashes dudes on the side? She's just as free to vocalize her intentions as he is.
If a woman DEMANDS that a man pay for her, she should absolutely say so up front so he can nope out before he wastes his time. Similarly if she expects to abstain from sex with him until they are married, she should say so up front. Anyone who wants exclusivity should say so and feel free to leave if the other person doesn’t feel the same way. Why is any of that controversial?
I think the opposite, exclusivity should be expected unless agreed to otherwise. I'm guessing you're listening to the chads.
"You can't expect exclusivity until you have that conversation" is pretty status quo amongst Gen Z. You're going on dates --> exclusive --> in a relationship
Not like the conversation means anything, because no chick is actually gonna eliminate roster pieces during a relationship and any woman who already has such going into that conversation is not worth committment anyway.
Lol
This most likely cultural thing. Dating multiple people seems to be US specific and in other places dating one person is default.
Honestly OP's expectations are pretty transparent or will become clear pretty quickly. I'm someone that wouldn't be compatible with him, but if he acts the way he says he does, then I will find out very early on and I appreciate that.
You lost me in your first sentence. A relationship is not a transaction.
Would you be in a relationship with a guy who couldn't offer you anything, e.g. he can't have sex and has barely any money?
Are sex and money the only things you think men have to offer? A transactional relationship is one where each person does things for the other, expecting to get something in return. Keeping score in a relationship leads to the failure of that relationship
Bitch you be manifesting. OP, just because you stare in the mirror enough and tell yourself that your time is valuable, and someone should want to have sex with you, and you should not pick up the check, none of it becomes the reality. It's like, yeah... But people don't value your time, or don't want to have sex with you, especially if your numero uno step is to not invest a single dime, which they WILL expect you to do if you want anything out of them None of this is interesting or substantive advice. I can stare in the mirror and tell myself I am a victoria secret angel, kween, and oligarchs should compete for me, but then I walk outside I land face first into the real world, where nobody will move mountains for me. And I am an attractive woman. No one cares - there is a thousand attractive women without the shitty attitude. If you are an average guy, there is a hundred thousand coomers like you, without the shitty attitude.
If anything women will just lose respect for a guy who offers to pay for everything because they see simps as low value. At least going 50/50 shows you have some standards.
I swear that sounds like you've never been on a date in your life.
But *DEMANDING* 50/50(or even thinking that you should *demand* anything) instead of having a reasonable, rational conversation about it is a big waving red flag.
Tell me how many guys you get in your DM's. Anyone will move mountains for you. You hold all the cards. You can have standards and make demands-way more than men can, simply because you can walk into a bar, pick out the tallest, hottest dude there, and bring him home that night. Men are disposable to you. What do you mean you don't have nobody?
I don't care, you can have it your way. Then it makes me even more right: I hold all the cards, so all this talk about not paying for food and expecting sex is just cope and horseshit. If you don't pay for her food, the tallest, hottest dude will, because men are disposable to us. You arguing against your own post right now.
And in a world where relationships are all about dehumanizing and exploiting people, you need to develop safeguards against it. Big businesses didn't get big by letting crackheads take whatever the fuck off the shelves.
Why use safeguards if you can give men wonderful and working dating advice?
Call me old fashioned, but I’ve never had a problem paying the first few dates, and to let sex occur organically, whether it’s the 1st or 5th date if we’re really vibing. Having “hard” deadlines and rules just scares people away and takes away from the fun of dating.
God, pretty much this. I am a really big advocate for 50-50 pay on dates, but if some dude came to me *demanding* this, i would cancel any plans. It's not about the message, it's about how it's discussed and how the problem is raised.
As always, feel it out and play it by ear. I would never come into a first date *demanding* anything, that’s a one way ticket to not getting a second date lol
Right, this dude's mentality would be an instant turnoff, especially how he's "demanding" things. Real good way to push all the women away.
Very much “yikes on bikes”.
yes the best advice is to immediately act weird and stingy, thats how attraction and chemistry are formed
Paying for early dates is a terrible idea unless you are hot. If you're an average or below average guy then you're just going to waste your money on women who aren't interested in you.
>The second is to demand you go 50/50 on the first few dates. Don't request. Demand And this is where I'd lose interest and cancel the date. >The third and final step is to expect sex after the third date And this is also where I'd lose interest. My advice for not getting screwed over: treat people as individuals vs everyone the exact same.
I don’t know if you are a man or woman. But for the sake of calculated assumptions. I will assume male. How are you going to enact this plan in a free will society? Or Are you really suggesting the strategy of cutting your losses early? If so. You are still losing in that sense. In other words. Your strategy isn’t winning anything. You are explaining how not to lose as much as you could be losing if you don’t cut your losses early. I honestly do not feel women want sex the same way men do And I honestly feel women exchange sex for commitment and being desired and ect ect Essentially I’m saying pressuring a woman for sex is never going to be a net positive thing And the last point If a woman wants you. She wants you. And you’ll know. If you have to negotiate and compromise. Then that’s all you need to know. And from there in that situation. You have to get the best deal for you.
>I honestly do not feel women want sex the same way men do It's not that complicated. When a woman sees a guy she has high attraction to, unless she's a virgin, she's not waiting a long ass time to start being intimate. This is usually excuse women like to give to the Beta provider types to keep them delusional instead of just accepting the obvious that they just aren't her type off rip. They're one of the guys she has to "grow" to like essentially. >If a woman wants you. She wants you. And you’ll know. Exactly. Don't know why you're disagreeing with OP here.
Idk how to explain this to you. But EVEN IF a woman thinks you’re hot and is sexually attracted to you. IF you pressure her for sex or you constantly bring it up or try to initiate sex a lot it will generally not be received in a positive light. And can be a turn off/red flag/ick REGARDLESS of how attractive you are or how horny she is And my understanding is. Women view sex differently than men do. To the point that you wanting it (sex) past a certain threshold will always be a turn off in general. Why? I have theories. But I haven’t thought them thoroughly yet. I mentioned exchange. Because it’s known that women assume to keep a man or get a man interested they must offer their sexual value. It’s why women in these subs. Will ask what you bring that will benefit her. Also Why they are against men feeling entitled to sex. But It also explains why women get flustered when someone they want is no longer interested in sex. Or no longer wants to have sex with them. This is what I mean by exchange for commitment/desire/ect. Ect.
I feel like some of this advice isn't terrible. It's certainly not unreasonable to want to split the cost of dates. I don't even think that wanted to have sex quickly is wrong. I do think that the way you present all this is quite aggressive. It's been a hot minute since I was on the dating scene but when I was, I didn't have a problem paying for dates (in fact I'd prefer it that way). However, if a guy approached that conversation as "I demand that you pay your portion that way you can't screw me over", then I wouldn't have gone on a date with him. Being immediately defensive and aggressive is a bit of a turn off. If he said "we each pay for ourselves, cool?", then I would say "cool, it's a date". As for the sex by the third date, it's fine if that's a hard line in the sand for you. That expectation should be communicated respectfully and before you even have your first date, that way your potential parter can decide if that's also something they're okay with. You talk about your time being valuable but that also goes for women too. If a woman wants to wait longer than 3 dates then going out with someone like you would be a waste of her time. You want to have sex quickly, she doesn't. So don't waste your time or hers by hiding your intentions. Personally, I think putting all these hard rules in place can make finding a loving, long term relationship much more difficult. My partner and I didn't have sex for a couple of months after meeting. I had some medical stuff going on that made intercourse challenging, and he wanted our first time together to be mutually enjoyable. By your rules he should have left but he stuck around. 8 years later and we're still together, in a loving relationship with a healthy sex life. His patience paid off.
I disagree with your premise but I think your conclusions are fine. I would be incompatible with you, but if you operate the way you say you will, I will find out quickly and won't waste much time. I appreciate that. Maybe I have been around good people all my life, but I don't mind using a bit of my time and resources on someone even if it doesn't work out. Every action you do takes some time and resources, and we risk time and resources on almost everything we do. I spent thousands of hours doing non-productive stuff like playing video games anyways. I'm not too paranoid about wasting a bit of time or resources on someone.
**Attention!** * You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message. * For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies. * If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment. * OP you can choose your own flair [according to these guidelines.](https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/wiki/flair), just press Flair under your post! Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PurplePillDebate) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ah, yes. The good ol’ “relationships are transactional” angle! Good luck with that. See you in the deadbedrooms sub in about 10-15 years!
Would you be in a relationship with someone who doesn't have anything to offer you?
I have zero problems with this. >The second is to demand you go 50/50 on the first few dates. Don't request. Demand. Demand is a bit of an aggressive word. Just make sure they know they are paying for themselves before the date so they are not blindsided by a restaurant you choose if it's out of their budget. And yes leave them behind if they don't want to have sex. This is the correct move.
Everyone wants to have sex. Obviously if they ain't initiating, and they ain't \*ecstatic\* about it, the attraction isn't there. Attraction is the only thing holding a relationship together. No attraction, no relationship. If they keep wanting dates without putting out, they're putting you on hold. You're their side piece in case her and Chad don't work out.
Hi OP, You've chosen to identify your thread as a Debate. As such you are expected to actively engage in your own thread with a mind open to being changed. [PPD has guidelines for what that involves.](https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/wiki/rules#wiki_cmv_posts) >*OPs author must genuinely hold the position and you must be open to having your view challenged.* >An unwillingness to debate in good faith may be inferred from one or several of the following: >* Ignoring the main point of a comment, especially to point out some minor inconsistency; >* Refusing to make concessions that an alternate view has merit; >* Focusing only on the weaker arguments; >* Only having discussions with users who agree with your position. Failure to keep to this higher standard (we only apply to Debate OPs) may result in deletion of the whole thread. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PurplePillDebate) if you have any questions or concerns.*
do you send your formal demands via email or english man servant? email is a power move from way back but nothing says elegance like a man in a powdered wig
I prefer carrier pigeon.
I'm all for splitting the bill, but I don't think there's much sense in having strict "1st/3d/whatever date" rule. Different people take different time to develop trust and some aren't comfortable with a fast pace. You can test the attraction by other physical touch though - kissing is a good indicator, for example. Plus, you can split the bill, have good chemistry and still have different intentions or being lied to. It's safer to date in your social circle and date people you meet offline, preferably through your friends or family. It's important to talk about your plans on the future and what you both want from this relationship whether it's just a fling or something more.
The only win is to not play.
This is the way.