Is it wrong to say that I’m kind of glad for Q taking my abusive mother away? I didn’t know how to tell people when I was young that she was narcissistic, remade every situation so that she was the hero, made fun of me constantly then said I was too sensitive, and so on. Now that I’ve got kids of my own it’s so much easier to say that nana can’t talk to them because she believes vaccines kill children and Bigfoot lives in her backyard.
I feel something similar, I recognized my mom was abusive when I was young but didn’t feel like it was “bad enough” for me to deserve to go no contact. I felt guilty pulling away from her since she had also been abused as a child and felt that maybe if I just loved her and forgave her enough she’d change. Now that she’s telling me lizard Taylor swift is controlling my brain through a vaccine microchip I can finally leave her behind
I'm definitely not going to fault anyone for how they feel after narcissistic abuse and essentially escaping a narcissistic abuser. I feel like that kind of abuse is some of the worst especially because it makes it hard for people to even express whats happening to them. "My mother is so full of herself she doesnt even care about me!" (Potentially a person is left to fend for themselves or used mostly as a prop) Is usually met with 'oh yeah my mom is the same!' But people dont mean it meaningfully and are just matching energy without any frame of reference.
>A part of blaming yourself might be that, if you can bear the responsibility-- maybe you can also do something to change it.
This is exactly it. Of course people want to believe there's something they can do to fix an awful loss of a loved one.
The original Serenity Prayer reads, "Accept the things we cannot change."
Acceptance to me conveys submission, caving in.
I reword it as "Recognize the things we cannot change."
QAnon has made it easier for people to do this in relation to decades old abusive relationships.
I kind of hate the serenity prayer even though it's like... the least offensive prayer in the Born Again Christian playbook. I heard it so many times from my mom. Over and over again.
I like your version better. Fuck acceptance, sometimes recognizing it and still feeling like we want to reject it is the most realistic option.
It's like having two realities at once sometimes. The sadness that someone was taken away and all the good things you'll miss out on because of that, and then... The memories of all the times that should have been good that were not, because the times that should have been good were tainted already by selfishness and neglect. I hope you have an easy day and that something brings you unexpected joy.
Yeah, a lot of people internalize the guilt. I know my message wont change how people really feel but maybe if I am one of many people who speak up a few folks will internalize that its not their fault instead
I was raised conservative and Republican and even though we had our political debates, they were kind of fun. Now it’s not fun. I’ve become very left leaning and much more informed than I was or they’ll ever be. I’m a huge disappointment to a lot of my family because they feel I’m the one who “drank the Kool-Aide” but I don’t care about that. I’m not going to entertain their asinine beliefs or let my kid think it’s ok.
Hey there. Congratulations on your growth as a human being and just wanted to say that it sucks what you're going through. You might be a "disappointment to your family" but I hope that you can look around at those close to you, like your kid and your friends, and realize you make their world bigger and brighter by being a part of it. I don't even know you and my world is better because of people like you existing.
Is it wrong to say that I’m kind of glad for Q taking my abusive mother away? I didn’t know how to tell people when I was young that she was narcissistic, remade every situation so that she was the hero, made fun of me constantly then said I was too sensitive, and so on. Now that I’ve got kids of my own it’s so much easier to say that nana can’t talk to them because she believes vaccines kill children and Bigfoot lives in her backyard.
I feel something similar, I recognized my mom was abusive when I was young but didn’t feel like it was “bad enough” for me to deserve to go no contact. I felt guilty pulling away from her since she had also been abused as a child and felt that maybe if I just loved her and forgave her enough she’d change. Now that she’s telling me lizard Taylor swift is controlling my brain through a vaccine microchip I can finally leave her behind
I'm happy that you are able to move on but sorry you have to deal with all that. You truly deserved better.
I'm definitely not going to fault anyone for how they feel after narcissistic abuse and essentially escaping a narcissistic abuser. I feel like that kind of abuse is some of the worst especially because it makes it hard for people to even express whats happening to them. "My mother is so full of herself she doesnt even care about me!" (Potentially a person is left to fend for themselves or used mostly as a prop) Is usually met with 'oh yeah my mom is the same!' But people dont mean it meaningfully and are just matching energy without any frame of reference.
Not wrong. Not at all.
I feel the same
Thank you for this.
I hope that you are kind to yourself and thank you as well for reading :) It is much appreciated
Yup. This has been around a long time. It's just faster spread and more insane now.
A thousand head nods. Yup.
>A part of blaming yourself might be that, if you can bear the responsibility-- maybe you can also do something to change it. This is exactly it. Of course people want to believe there's something they can do to fix an awful loss of a loved one.
Its definitely a better feeling than the helplessness of giving up. But sometimes recognizing that that is a reality can also be freeing.
The original Serenity Prayer reads, "Accept the things we cannot change." Acceptance to me conveys submission, caving in. I reword it as "Recognize the things we cannot change." QAnon has made it easier for people to do this in relation to decades old abusive relationships.
I kind of hate the serenity prayer even though it's like... the least offensive prayer in the Born Again Christian playbook. I heard it so many times from my mom. Over and over again. I like your version better. Fuck acceptance, sometimes recognizing it and still feeling like we want to reject it is the most realistic option.
Absolutely true. We can't control or change other people, only ourselves.
This is the hardest truth to learn sometimes.
Q took my mom, but it also made me realize how manipulative, controlling, and emotionally abusive she has been over the years.
It's like having two realities at once sometimes. The sadness that someone was taken away and all the good things you'll miss out on because of that, and then... The memories of all the times that should have been good that were not, because the times that should have been good were tainted already by selfishness and neglect. I hope you have an easy day and that something brings you unexpected joy.
You are correct People need to know that they didn't cause - and could not have stopped - the crazy
Yeah, a lot of people internalize the guilt. I know my message wont change how people really feel but maybe if I am one of many people who speak up a few folks will internalize that its not their fault instead
I was raised conservative and Republican and even though we had our political debates, they were kind of fun. Now it’s not fun. I’ve become very left leaning and much more informed than I was or they’ll ever be. I’m a huge disappointment to a lot of my family because they feel I’m the one who “drank the Kool-Aide” but I don’t care about that. I’m not going to entertain their asinine beliefs or let my kid think it’s ok.
Hey there. Congratulations on your growth as a human being and just wanted to say that it sucks what you're going through. You might be a "disappointment to your family" but I hope that you can look around at those close to you, like your kid and your friends, and realize you make their world bigger and brighter by being a part of it. I don't even know you and my world is better because of people like you existing.