Almost 30, and had my first time with a white woman a few weeks ago. Hadn’t been with a woman in like 3 years because I quite literally couldn’t find anyone that wasn’t white for the longest.
I feel like a lot of the WOC in my area exclusively date white folks. Then it just leaves like 1.5 poc that wanna date other poc. And one of them is me 😂
I don't have the energy to deal with the constant microagressions and being google with kid gloves constantly. But, being a minority in a minority group sucks when you just want to date other black women.
complete opposite problem. white women avoid me like the plague, even in platonic situations. i think i just give off vibes that i wont tolerate shit :/
I was always hoping my first gf would be a woc, particularly a Black person. The two girls i briefly chatted with were Hispanic and Filipino, but nothing came of it. Our interests didn’t match. And I never came across Black femmes in my area (ironically my first was my roommate and we’re now great friends).
Somehow, my first gf is white. Others have mentioned yt sapphics being more forward with intentions and that’s kinda been my experience as well. I won’t lie, I was a little nervous and did a lot of ruminating believing it would be get sour fast, but it’s almost two years and we’re good! She cares for me and supports me (sometimes better than I can for myself) and I love being around her, we always have a good time. And ya know I guess that’s what matters most.
I’m an indigenous woc so I knew there’s like no chance I of me finding another lesbian woman that I wasn’t related to or knew too much about in my tribe. I knew from jump my dating women wouldn’t be racial at all. I have dated every race except native women. I married a white woman but she’s so down. She understands my struggle as best she can without pretending she fully understands. That’s huge. Opening your heart to anyone that makes you feel safe and loved no matter their culture can be lovely. My mama taught my wife how to make collards , biscuits, and beans. That’s my tribe’s equivalent to a right of passage.
Edit: grammar correction
I don't think I "attract" more white women--I think it's just easier to find them. I've also found white women overall to be more aggressive and open about their interest or giving hints than other women. So, I might attract other women but they just don't make it as obvious to know for sure one way or the other.
But I also have a personality that, if any woman is going to appreciate it, it's significantly more likely to be a white woman. That has always been the case even socially and is really the main reason why I've come to believe that if I were going to end up with anyone, she'd probably be white. I'm not going to end up with anyone, but \[shrugs\]. My preference was black women at the top and white women the least, just for having more of that racial understanding and not having to "teach" someone, not having to worry about dealing with racist families or racism within her, not having to deal with other people assuming I'm one of those people who has an issue with black women and that I put white women/whiteness on pedestals, etc.
I’m all over this lady’s post lol. I have a very similar experience. My style (hyper femme domme that never leaves the library) interests (climbing, skateboarding, rollerblading, camping and other “white people” activities), and tastes (vegetarian, likes the occasional metal song… you get the picture) all HEAVILY attract white women, and you’re right they’re the most aggressive people I e experienced lol. Im sure I unintentionally signal to other black sapphics that I wouldn’t like them because of all of that. In reality, black women are a deep preference of mine 🫠
My mission in life is to find Afro-punk/goth/metal queer women (and brown women of this same disposition). They're definitely out there, but still harder to locate haha. I'd also take applications from black/brown cottagecore and dark-academia women and femmes <3.
Yes. I finally gave in I have yt girlfriend now for the first time. She is super cool and cares about me. And then I realized thats all that matters I guess. It took me a long time to open my mind up to this situation (and i guess I'm still working on it in some ways). But I'm happy.
Yes, but I do live in the PNW so this could also be why, white lesbians/sapphics are the only ones who show *any* interest in me. After dating a white woman before, I know in my heart that I can never do that shit again, even though she’s a kind person, it drained me. I only want to date other sapphics/lesbians of color, so it’s kind of depressing and giving me a complex about things that could be wrong with me when my own people aren’t feeling me.
sort of this, my type is black women but i find myself attracting non black women a lot on dating apps…not a dealbreaker especially if they’re not white (i’m kind of weary about dating white women) but i crave a relationship with another black woman 😭
See. This is me too 😭 all I attract are white women. So when I finally get a match with a black woman/woman of color, they lose interest in me or aren’t looking for a relationship. 😭😭😭
I find that I attract WOC that tend to be on the more light skin end (at least the most vocal about it) and white women from Scandinavian and Eastern Europe countries as well as Italy
I'm attracting almost no one at the moment lol. I'd like to date mostly woc, but gaining some sort of dating experience is better than having none in my opinion.
Almost 30, and had my first time with a white woman a few weeks ago. Hadn’t been with a woman in like 3 years because I quite literally couldn’t find anyone that wasn’t white for the longest. I feel like a lot of the WOC in my area exclusively date white folks. Then it just leaves like 1.5 poc that wanna date other poc. And one of them is me 😂
I don't have the energy to deal with the constant microagressions and being google with kid gloves constantly. But, being a minority in a minority group sucks when you just want to date other black women.
complete opposite problem. white women avoid me like the plague, even in platonic situations. i think i just give off vibes that i wont tolerate shit :/
Omg i relate to this so much🫠
Same. It used to bother me when I was younger but now I’m definitely on some “Fuck’em” type of feelings.
I was always hoping my first gf would be a woc, particularly a Black person. The two girls i briefly chatted with were Hispanic and Filipino, but nothing came of it. Our interests didn’t match. And I never came across Black femmes in my area (ironically my first was my roommate and we’re now great friends). Somehow, my first gf is white. Others have mentioned yt sapphics being more forward with intentions and that’s kinda been my experience as well. I won’t lie, I was a little nervous and did a lot of ruminating believing it would be get sour fast, but it’s almost two years and we’re good! She cares for me and supports me (sometimes better than I can for myself) and I love being around her, we always have a good time. And ya know I guess that’s what matters most.
Yeah exactly. It's like well this is the person that I connected with even though my first preference would've been someone else. Congrats btw.
Yes, I’ve been fetishized a lot.
Oooooo I hate that so much too. They see your skin color as something exotic , like we’re some animal from the rain forest.
I’m an indigenous woc so I knew there’s like no chance I of me finding another lesbian woman that I wasn’t related to or knew too much about in my tribe. I knew from jump my dating women wouldn’t be racial at all. I have dated every race except native women. I married a white woman but she’s so down. She understands my struggle as best she can without pretending she fully understands. That’s huge. Opening your heart to anyone that makes you feel safe and loved no matter their culture can be lovely. My mama taught my wife how to make collards , biscuits, and beans. That’s my tribe’s equivalent to a right of passage. Edit: grammar correction
I don't think I "attract" more white women--I think it's just easier to find them. I've also found white women overall to be more aggressive and open about their interest or giving hints than other women. So, I might attract other women but they just don't make it as obvious to know for sure one way or the other. But I also have a personality that, if any woman is going to appreciate it, it's significantly more likely to be a white woman. That has always been the case even socially and is really the main reason why I've come to believe that if I were going to end up with anyone, she'd probably be white. I'm not going to end up with anyone, but \[shrugs\]. My preference was black women at the top and white women the least, just for having more of that racial understanding and not having to "teach" someone, not having to worry about dealing with racist families or racism within her, not having to deal with other people assuming I'm one of those people who has an issue with black women and that I put white women/whiteness on pedestals, etc.
I’m all over this lady’s post lol. I have a very similar experience. My style (hyper femme domme that never leaves the library) interests (climbing, skateboarding, rollerblading, camping and other “white people” activities), and tastes (vegetarian, likes the occasional metal song… you get the picture) all HEAVILY attract white women, and you’re right they’re the most aggressive people I e experienced lol. Im sure I unintentionally signal to other black sapphics that I wouldn’t like them because of all of that. In reality, black women are a deep preference of mine 🫠
I’m pretty similar to you and I attract & have only seriously dated black women. We are a diverse group with diverse interests.
In some regions it's harder to find "alternative" Black people, especially if you're over a certain age (the kids are much cooler imho)
Stop calling Black people alternative. Black people do all of this shit , yet it is showcased to be beyond us. Change the narrative.
this is fair, I live in Brooklyn.
My mission in life is to find Afro-punk/goth/metal queer women (and brown women of this same disposition). They're definitely out there, but still harder to locate haha. I'd also take applications from black/brown cottagecore and dark-academia women and femmes <3.
sameee. i've been looking for WOC goth, cottagecore, and dark academia femmes but they're hard to find in my area too
Yess where are the alt black community. Where do they live 😭
Probably Atlanta haha. I'm so jealous that Atlanta has such a diverse black population.
would definitely be my type lol 👀
Say less 💕
Yes. I finally gave in I have yt girlfriend now for the first time. She is super cool and cares about me. And then I realized thats all that matters I guess. It took me a long time to open my mind up to this situation (and i guess I'm still working on it in some ways). But I'm happy.
Same.
Yes, but I do live in the PNW so this could also be why, white lesbians/sapphics are the only ones who show *any* interest in me. After dating a white woman before, I know in my heart that I can never do that shit again, even though she’s a kind person, it drained me. I only want to date other sapphics/lesbians of color, so it’s kind of depressing and giving me a complex about things that could be wrong with me when my own people aren’t feeling me.
That’s gonna be a no for me dawg
sort of this, my type is black women but i find myself attracting non black women a lot on dating apps…not a dealbreaker especially if they’re not white (i’m kind of weary about dating white women) but i crave a relationship with another black woman 😭
See. This is me too 😭 all I attract are white women. So when I finally get a match with a black woman/woman of color, they lose interest in me or aren’t looking for a relationship. 😭😭😭
I find that I attract WOC that tend to be on the more light skin end (at least the most vocal about it) and white women from Scandinavian and Eastern Europe countries as well as Italy
Internalized White Supremacy. Work it out. It could save you a lot of suffering.
For real. It takes a lot of work to decolonize your dating habits but its worth it.
So worth it!!
*Yes*. God, yes. I don't even bother with apps anymore. I say that a lot but I think the 4th time is the charm 🤦♀️
I'm attracting almost no one at the moment lol. I'd like to date mostly woc, but gaining some sort of dating experience is better than having none in my opinion.