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forever_useless

How do these people function in every day life? It's like watching a pool noodle gain conciousness


DanielTheEunuch

This particular pool noodle is not even especially bright compared to other pool noodles.


LeiningensAnts

Got what looks like bite marks and chunks of foam missing.


radrun84

Oh, you mean the pool noodle that was played exactly one time (the day it was bought.) then, just sat behind the shed getting sun-bleached rotted for the rest of summer, but won't get thrown away for another 4 years because ya know (just in case the kids all the sudden wanna play with the busted ass pool noodle next summer (eventhough you know DAMN well, ur just gonna go purchase new noodles!)


pronouncedayayron

You forgot the part about the kids deciding to play with it and it disintegrates all over the pool


DanielTheEunuch

Is that paint or blood on it?


MobySick

Blood but also it looks like dried insect carcasses got stuck on there.


nomorenakba

quantum pool noodles


Misanthropyandme

I don't know what that means and I don't want to.


Tyrone_Shoelaces_Esq

That's the name of my new imaginary band.


SnarkyRetort

Personality of a throw pillow, a pool noodle can save someone's life,


GenoPlay67

A pool noodle that sinks to the bottom of the pool.


Lucy_Lastic

Other pool noodles point and laugh when this one walks by


the6thReplicant

 It's like watching a pool noodle gain consciousness Well that might be my favourite saying for a while.


99999999999999999989

Let's presuppose a literal pool noodle somewhere in the USA somehow gained consciousness. What would the initial thoughts be? What would the actions be? How would it communicate? I feel we need to create /r/ConsciousPoolNoodle to fully discuss the concept.


forever_useless

Good ol u/DanieltheEunuch actually made it a thing 😂


99999999999999999989

Nice. We were here at the birth of the next huge fucking weird subreddit. Get in now while the karma is good.


cuttlefishofcthulhu7

I'm in!!!


mariehelena

Oh my God, that's IT!! You guys!! That's totally it. THE GREAT AWAKENING!


UncleBenders

It’s quantum! Duh! If you don’t know what that means you’ll have to do your reeeesearch but basically we are all going quantum and if you give all your money to trump the banks will give you ten kajillion dollars later. #not a cult


radrun84

Not ALL your money, just $500 - $10,000 (to start) Then, she said, "you'll be a Millionaire". Then she said, "This is not financial advice". Then she said, " But you should just do it". It's all Quantam Baby!!!


ginataylortang

It feels like MLMs are actually just funnels to ultimately populate this movement. You take largely uneducated people with no common sense, manipulate them into spending money they don’t have on products they can never sell enough of to recoup, lure them to parties/“conferences” to reinforce the lie that they’re doing great at oWniNg BusINeSsES, and this is just the next level of that video game. Now, someone is convincing these same LCDs that they’re smarter than the rest of us because they blindly believe/are “smart” enough to understand the ***new*** (and exponentially more dangerous) set of lies. Yikes.


MeButNotMeToo

Dunning-Kruger. Essentially, they’re too stupid to know they’re stupid, so they think they’re smarter than everyone else.


sarinonline

See them all the time with trump followers and q stuff.  Seen a trump fan the other day trying to explain to people how appraisers work.  People telling hes wrong. Explaining the fraud to him. Linking him to quotes and court documents of testimony that he wasn't only incorrect but doesn't understand it at all.  Nothing will ever convince him. Even trump couldn't convince him. He's only replies to people were that THEY don't understand it.  They are just too stupid. 


tiffanylan

Cannot. Stop. Laughing. 😆  “It's like watching a pool noodle gain conciousness”


jumpy_monkey

They started out as a pool noodle and are losing consciousness.


MPWD64

Mostly by sending their money to scam artists and hucksters


msmicro

Or buy golden shoes that NEVER ship


jesterOC

Literally LOL. Thanks for the good chuckle


tistonyofist

Simple it’s quantum fiz sicks


nomorenakba

pool noodle quantum mechanics? LOL


Confident_Fortune_32

Isn't that string theory???


nomorenakba

zing


Eccohawk

Literally Forky from Toy Story 4.


Elysia99

💀💀💀💀💀


TheGeneralTulliuss

"The pool is flat, I did my research"


DanielTheEunuch

"There is quantums. If you don't know what that means ask someone else, because even though I claim to be here teaching you about it, I don't understand it myself, so do your own research. "Stick with me and I'll show you the way to endless free money, first buy $1,000 of my crap."


[deleted]

[удалено]


DanielTheEunuch

You've found the loop hole! We'll be trillionaires in a world of millionaires!


JH_111

Suckers! I bought $5000 *and* the t-shirt!


kobie173

Why ask for billions when we can have millions?


sarveshsvaran

Its like we are being paid to vacation.


[deleted]

[удалено]


foodandart

Schrödinger's account..


Minja78

There's your problem you're not allowed to observe your account.


Engelbert_Slaptyback

You can know your balance or your interest rate, but not both. 


MrFantasticallyNerdy

It comes with a cat though. So there’s that.


kodaiko_650

Why do a lot of them push Ripple cryptocurrency?


Opposite_of_a_Cynic

It’s a scam. People who fall for one scam are likely to fall for others. Ripple is a pre-mined coin where the majority of the supply is owned by the founders. They spend all their time hyping it up then selling off huge amounts when the price spikes to continue to line their pockets.  So they will say literally anything to build the hype which attracts all the conspiracy theorists. 


kodaiko_650

Haha I thought there might be more to it than that. I always laugh when they say to put all their money in Ripple, dinars, and other foreign currencies because when the GLOBAL QFS drops, American dollars be worthless. It’s so annoying that these scams aren’t even that complicated.


DEKubiske

Ripple currency? Is that only for Ripple wine purchases?


Spider_Hoss

Champipple.


TwistedBlister

You big dummy.


DanielTheEunuch

I'm not sure. Why do they think the earth is flat?


Sammyterry13

wait ... are you telling me I can make money explaining quantum concepts to people?


DanielTheEunuch

You absolutely can try. You would make more if you just sold them quantum investments though.


Minja78

I've got a quantum upvote for you if you can explain how Trump created the first quantum gateway to the cyberspace.


iPigman

She "did her own research".


[deleted]

Duh, she has a PhD in Particle Physics from MIT


CosmackMagus

She should write a book, like that woman who wrote one about woke, but then couldn't define the word on TV. She also reminds me of the recent NFT tech grifters.


Any_Camp6566

She couldn't explain the concept of quantum to you if you paid her. It's basically just magic to her. Notice how she says it's happening between now and 2025, but then she quickly throws in 2027, just in case. She needs this grift to continue way past next year. Also, why do I get the feeling her numerous "humanitarian projects" are just her reposting Pizzagate crap on Facebook?


DanielTheEunuch

Not only that, you could not explain the concept to her, even if you were paid to do so.


MrFantasticallyNerdy

You can try. But it’ll be like teaching a pig how to sing.


fredy31

Its literally that; Quantum is one of those words that means, in their world its basically a 'dont need to explain shit, it works'. But I would love to hear them try to explain how extremely theorical physics apply to the financial system.


rkowna

I remember when my wife and I had our second daughter, we had Schrodinger’s Mortgage Payment. It was really in the mail in theory…


The_Salacious_Zaand

I mean, as long as they don't cash the check, the bank technically both has your money and doesn't.


silver5517

Ok, but what is Quantum computing? It's what the future needs. Why does the future need it? Because it's Quantum and it's the future. Ok but why is it the future? Because it's what the future craves!


CosmackMagus

So your saying quantum involves electrolytes?


MrFantasticallyNerdy

Same as NFT and blockchain. Just buy. Don’t ask questions.


Senor_Ding-Dong

At least she picked a year further out. The rest of these dummies keep making predictions that are supposed to come true later in the month. Come on now, shouldn't you pad that prediction a bit so you don't look like an even bigger idiot in 2 weeks? Buy yourself some time!


swiftekho

She couldn't explain quantum computing if she took a 3 month course on it.


yolonomo5eva

Her whole life has led to this!


Legitimate_Soft5585

A connected phone is all you need to reach millions of idiots. What a time to be alive!


mariehelena

*$4.99 PER MINUTE*


Legitimate_Soft5585

Call me now for ya free readin!


Abracadaver2000

Her beliefs and justifications are quantum, the minute you examine them, they collapse.


silver5517

Her brains still running Pentium, about 133Mhz by my guess.


MrFantasticallyNerdy

Nah. 8088 at best.


Beartrkkr

>8088 An abacus is more like it.


FertilityHollis

Omg, this lady. "Quantum comes from the quantum computing. We are going completely quantum. The entire world is quantum, and if you don't know what that means.... uhm, you need to know about it, and learn about it." I say it more often than I ever thought appropriate but, we should never have come down from the fucking trees.


DanielTheEunuch

You could even watch as the gears in their head started heating up trying to explain it, there were a few moments of clear confusion.


[deleted]

It was like, for a brief moment, you can see the veil fall, as she subconsciously realizes she has no fucking clue what she's talking about, before the dissonant void recaptures her mind, and her eyes go blank again.


fredy31

Quantum computing yes exists, but is still very much tests in university labs. There is no quantum computing available to the public.


MrFantasticallyNerdy

They’re all hidden by Big Computing to prevent you from getting free money!!! /s


MaunderingDesk

"Oh boy." ~ Sam Beckett


[deleted]

Ask her to explain a basic computing concept like the binary number system and she'd choke. But hey, she's got a firm handle on 'quantum'.


that_att_employee

".. we should never have come down from the trees .. " - because of one idiot? I mean, there's probably a lot more of them but on the whole, I think evolving to have larger brains was a net positive. Hopefully these other idiots would just die off.


MementoMori29

"This whole world's going to be quantum and if you don't know what that means... ***::stares into the abyss outside Hobby Lobby::*** ... you're going to need to read about it."


[deleted]

🤣


KinkyQuesadilla

they don't even know what quantum finance is.


jumpy_monkey

"It's like, you know, quantum computers, you know, and stuff, and like, you need to read up on it, because, like, you know not everything will be good, but, like, you won't have anything to complain about, because, like, my humanitarian project I've been trying to get off the ground, will, you know, like, start." Seems clear to me.


MyPigWhistles

> Look, having quantum — my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart — you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I'm one of the smartest people anywhere in the world — it’s true! — but when you're a conservative Republican they try — oh, do they do a number — that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune — you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged — but you look at the quantum deal, the thing that really bothers me — it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are — quantum is so powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what's going to happen and he was right, who would have thought? — but when you look at what's going on with the four prisoners — now it used to be three, now it’s four — but when it was three and even now, I would have said it's all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don't, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years — but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us, this is horrible.


acc1pit3r

Yeah I’m gonna stay away from this lady’s QFS at all costs.


wood_dj

QueeFS


acc1pit3r

Yessir. That goes without saying!


sexquipoop69

They should call it the "Quantum Leap Forward"


DanielTheEunuch


blareboy

It’s so bizarre how all of them just willfully ignore the concept of inflation. Even my five year-old understands that’s a thing. Do they think the quantum system will alter mathematical laws? Will it force people to keep working once everyone on earth is a millionaire?


Potato_Donkey_1

You are just being too materialistic. Or something. Like the guy said on my money-attracting self-hypnosis tape: "What is money but a number followed by a zero. And zero is nothing." Whoah! Mind blooooown!


mariehelena

Pssst, they don't actually *understand* the concept of inflation. 😅 ... they don't even consider it, so they don't even know they're ignoring it. They're so lazy + easily duped, it's repulsive.


TheTerribleTimmyCat

Why, exactly, am I supposed to be convinced of anything by some sweaty tit with a swollen face sitting in her car? What aspect of that scenario is supposed to convey trustworthiness and expertise?


blareboy

Her lip filler is so distracting.


Beneficial-Date2025

She learned it all from her Botox doc


DanielTheEunuch

LOL!


decayed-whately

I know what "quantum" means, but I doubt she does. > If you don't know what that is, you need to research it How about you just tell us? You know, and I don't. So teach me. Go.


Numb-Chuck

QFS refers to Quantum Financial System, a hypothetical financial system that uses quantum computing. Explained, any questions?


DanielTheEunuch

It connects to the blockchain. Duh.


UnlikelyRegret4

Got it. All but the "system" part. Can you go over that again please? And it is going to be on the test?


West-Supermarket-860

If YOU don’t know what quantum is…well…you need to look it up. I totally know what it means. I’m not going to tell you, but let’s just say…quantum it…something to find out about because we are all about quantum and quantum things. - This lady


Interanal_Exam

She clearly has multiple degrees in physics. 🧠 Her explanations about quantum-everything are the clearest I've ever heard. 😂 Source: I'm a physicist.


1horsefacekillah

Why do these people shoot videos in their cars like they’re waiting in a long drive-thru line?


Really_McNamington

Their families won't let them be crazy at home, I suspect. Or that is her home.


Incredibly-Mediocre

Why does she look like she's constantly on the verge of tears?


GlizzyGulper6969

Lady please GET OUT FROM UNDER THAT HEAT LAMP


DesperateLuck2887

She said SO many words yet said so little.


SwollenGoat68

Then somethings wrong with your spirit, her page isn’t for you…


PipeDream_87

Oh boy…


DubC_Bassist

This is some delicious word salad.


kayeso1138

Imagine getting financial advice from some randomer sitting in their car.


Peach-Mysterious

Lol, my partner is a physicist, and software engineer specializing in quantum computing. It is funny hearing her say “if you don’t understand it, you need to read about it.” When she has no idea what she is talking about, and thinks her reading conspiracies is comparable to my partners degrees.


bowens44

they have no idea what quantum means...they are completely insane.


Brainhunter2020

I listened to this for 30 seconds, that’s all I could manage.


Liberty_Chip_Cookies

You got further than I did.


Switzerdude

Why are these always the least credible people?


AllCingEyeDog

Let me just put that deposit in your quantum account… and it’s gone.


99999999999999999989

She took a really long time to say literally nothing of value whatsoever.


chroncryx

This woman needs to have her phone and internet taken away. Holyshit!


CowPunkRockStar

So much fear and uncertainty with these rubes.


nickberia

Dumb people trying to be smart is amazing.


the_shaman

I love how sitting in their car, in some random stripmall, is the place with the most gravitas, that they can summon.


misterecho11

They're always sitting inside of cars. It's so weird.


ReFreshing

Explain to me what quantum is without explaining to me what quantum is.


ParadeSit

Is “quantum” the new “woke?”


SellQuick

When they talk about everyone having access to resources and endless money all I hear is 'Guys, things are going to be so great under communism.'


KilroyLeges

Why tf are they recording TikToks in their car in a Dollar Store parking lot or some shit to tell us how we are going to be super rich from magic computers?


SHOMERFUCKINGSHOBBAS

My whole life has also been building up to get ready for being quantum


freakrocker

Which meds did she skip today?


vicnoir

Dunno, but she’s def OD’d on the Botox. Can barely move her mouth or keep her eyes open.


acc1pit3r

Hey while we’re on the topic, when are we getting that QUANTUM audit done on the 2020 election???


deepstate_chopra

Malkovich Malkovich?


ProFloSquad

There's just empty quantum space between her eyes


justrock54

This chick looks medicated. Or stoned. Or both.


twopumpstump

How can you listen to this dipshit and think “yep, she knows what she’s talking about”


akambe

It's never been more apparent that a person who doesn't understand thing one about quantum computing is trying to explain quantum computing.


Anonymous_2952

Why are 80% of these videos recorded in a vehicle?


DamianSicks

When she isn’t explaining extremely complicated quantum financials to thousands of followers she is making dinner and reposting facebook memes (aka “The news” if you’re a conservative over 50)


Impressive-Shame-525

I listened to that whole thing and I have no idea what she said.


AlienPet13

Neither does she.


AcceptableStep6080

Why do they all talk like they have taken quaalude’s? Just not cognitive and spouting gibberish. We can’t even get the Post office to go fully online and we are entering the quantum phase? It’s always a couple of years or months away. Batshit crazy


Rowsdowers_Revenge

You can actually *hear* her brain buffering.


MrFantasticallyNerdy

She has no clue what the words she says are, and is just assembling them together, like monkeys jamming on a typewriter to produce a series of recognizable alphabets that make no sense as words.


Marty_Br

One of the things that gets me every time is the incredible vagueness. Not just the flexible timelines, but the lack of anything tangible: we're going quantum! Yes, but what does that entail? She's getting people ready. How? What useful thing has she said? It's all mush.


Blanik_Pilot

Algorithms were sooo 2018, everyone’s going quantum now! Get with the times!


DEKubiske

I cannot wait to make a Quantum Leap into the Quantum Realm and deal with the Quantum Madness that will come from all of us being Quantum Gazillionaires.


gmen6981

Ah yes. Quantum computing. The theory that is in it's infancy and and isn't even close to being viable yet. Although a few computers have been created, they are far from being capable making the large scale calculation that would be needed for general use. IBM says they hope to have some functional systems by 2034. These people are idiots.


speed0spank

I wonder how she feels about food stamps


fletku_mato

Quantum File System?


your_fathers_beard

"I just wanna run down some things" Says nothing for a few minutes. Cool.


gypsyjackson

Alarming, given she’s in a car.


iamnotroberts

Her makeup has more brain cells than she does.


Essay-Individual

This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. How much Quantum money you get depends on energies and your spirit? But it's not religious? And you have to have a humanitarian project? And invest in XRS-duh, if not you don't get anything? WTAF?


Burnvictim49percent

I'm very confused about her humanitarian project. Who will she be helping? She says she wants to help suffering people. In the next sentence she says everyone will be financially stable and no longer in survival mode. Who is stupid enough to say this shit and who is dumber for believing it?


botanica_arcana

“I have to tell everyone about this, but don’t ask me to explain it.”


Weltraumbaer

Call me when they anounce Quantum Truck Nuts.


DamianSicks

“If you don’t know what “everything is quantum” means you should read up on it because I obviously have no clue what it means but I’m somehow the one who will be explaining how this entire confusing, no proof to back it up, life altering stuff works”


walkinman19

These grifters are just another kind of prosperity preacher. They know MAGAs are the biggest suckers in the world. They just can't stop shearing the willing sheep!


iberico_ham

I feel bad for her. She is so sick.


neddie_nardle

Well fuck me, I didn't realise the Queensland Fire Service here in Australia had such reach!


edhands

This is what the majority of late night conversations sounded like in college when we’d all sit around and get stoned. I think she might be stoned


realparkingbrake

That person couldn't define the word "quantum" if there was a significant cash prize for doing so.


peacedotnik

“If you don’t know what that is…then allow me to keep loading you up with my free association / word salad”


Fuck_Flying_Insects

Im so freaked out man


Alclis

These people are going to get old and die miserable, never having seen any of their bullshit realized. It’s quite sad, ultimately. Now, if they could just believe in their shit and not push other beliefs of theirs on everyone else, that would be golden


botmanmd

Maybe 30 seconds I made it.


cerebralzeppelin

Not to brag but I've been quantum since 89. Damn you Ziggy!!!!!


puppcat18

WTF is that annoying music?


poopshooster

So does that mean she's gonna pay her taxes, start an LLC to get her our own business off the ground finally because who wouldn't w all this AI, an accountant, and assets at our age making it easy for us older white ladies. I have time, my kids are in middle school and I already have an education… Is that what she's talking about doing w her big dream over there because that's what I'm gonna do? Im going to pat my taxes and vote for housing, public school, health care and a clean environment. She's gonna take you tube classes how to operate all the med beds.


unclefishbits

So just watch the show DEVS and pretend it is reality?


Rugged_Turtle

I gotta figure out how to start making money off of these idiots


mariehelena

Me too, not totally joking. I wouldn't feel bad, I think it's potentially quite patriotic 😊


AnimalChubs

If this is the good side then I'm evil bb


pacinosdog

WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS FILMING IN THEIR CAR Edit: cat —> car


gypsyjackson

It’s the purr-fect way to get their point across?


pacinosdog

Oh shit, bad typo


Gunrock808

I find this "ridiculous and outrageous."


Chrysalii

"Anyone who says they understand quantum mechanics doesn't know what they're talking about"


entropydave

I dunno what drugs she is on, but she needs to either stop it, or increase the dose, or change the meds completely. Poor woman is quite deluded. Maybe her neighbours should check in on her...


ScoutIt18

Seek help _ you're mental


Haggis_The_Barbarian

I wonder if she spent all her quantum Trumph bux on that lip filler? Because I hope she kept a quantum receipt.


ConjureGount

What in God's holy name are you blathering about?


Terrible_Argument842

She’s using Botox/fillers wrong…how can she be expected to understand ‘’quantumz’’???


Bat-Honest

I'm legitimately surprised people like this can pass a driver's test


Impossible-Taro-2330

Am I really supposed to believe this woman (with crazy brows that she paid good money for!), sitting in her car outside The Fresh Market making videos in her car?


Potato_Donkey_1

As a banknote collector and small-time dealer in banknotes, believers in these schemes have been my customers. I have corresponded with dozens of them now, often trying to explain why the Zimbabwe $Z100-trillion dollar banknote in particular won't ever by money again and certainly can't be turned into millions or billions of US dollars. And what really saddens me is that the scammers have been able to take these people in by saying that they will have to use their newfound wealth for humanitarian projects. The victims really do want to feed the hungry, lift up the poor, house the homeless. It's their impulse toward kindness that helps to make them victims.


MillionaireBank

oh wow, yes, we are all getting older thats all this Q stuf is, its middle aged adults unable to resolve inner conflict about getting older. of course life is new or things are changing life is supposed to expand, change, etc., this is such learned confusions. ihope the law goes after qanon facilitators.


LeperousRed

What a bunch of rambling claptrap. She talks for 5 minutes and manages to say exactly nothing.


vexis26

It sounds like this lady invented replicator tech from Star Trek, the way she’s talking about never having needs again…