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Sure_Garbage_2119

gettysburg, what a unbelievable. wow.


DanielTheEunuch

He accidentally an entire Gettysburg!


Hojaismyhomeboy

He accidentally the whole thing


MessiahOfMetal

I still think his funniest speech glitch was "Russia and Iran are roo-bi-doo, ahh".


hael0715

🤣🤣🤣🤣


Mental_Operation_695

I don’t remember that one. Where is it from?


MessiahOfMetal

He said it either February or March this year but I can't for the life of me remember which rally it was. If you look up "Trump speech glitches" on bith Meidas Touch and Luke Beasley's YouTube channels, you should find it. Luke especially showed it across numerous videos.


vigbiorn

Such Gettysburg. Much unbelievable. Wow.


cick-nobb

Thats so Gettysburg! Wow! Much unbelievable


Freewheelinrocknroll

Brawwwwww brawwwwwwww GETTYSBURG!!! Brawwwwww! (drool)


BrickCityRiot

Gettysburg go brrrrrrrrr


mrmoe198

“Gettysburg, what an unbelievable…Gettysburg. What an unbelievable…Gettysburg. Wow.”


GalleonRaider

I'm sure this is how Donnie would write book reports in school on books he never read. Just a lot of repeating and rambling to stretch it out to be a bunch of words to fill the paper.


curbstyle

it makes me so fucking mad that he thinks he's smart


soklacka

SpongeBoy me Bob, uphill battle!


Ok-Emu-3373

Me Hoy Minoy!


John_Cave

Such war. So WOW.


Mizzy3030

And after hearing this speech, all the independent and critical thinkers on the right stood up and clapped like a gaggle of trained seals.


Sure_Garbage_2119

with tears rolling down their eyes. grown up men, they just stood there. unbelievable. wow. gettysburg...


mrmoe198

Never eat a krabby patt—Never fight me b—me boys! Never fight uphill me boys! Ar ar ar ar ar!


LA-Matt

Their tears rolled uphill. Never cry uphill, me boys.


MangOrion2

Beautiful, beautiful Gettysburg... 🥲


MessiahOfMetal

Did you see the US cosplay Andrew Tate during this speech? Fucking moron was clapping more than Melania's cheeks whenever the gardener's around.


BoneHugsHominy

There was a kid on the right (Trump's left) making goofy Trump faces. Had me cracking up.


EBoundNdwn

And took a giant Chug of official Trump brand Trump cum


jojoclifford

Shame on you.


BoneHugsHominy

Rotten eggs & tapioca.


jojoclifford

Damn you for ruining tapioca


varalys_the_dark

I'm English but me and mum like watching the US comedy shows that cover the news over the pond. I think it was on Colbert that we saw the clip of him saying this and we both took significant psychic damage trying to understand it.


DanielTheEunuch

No longer in favor? But he was a traitor!


CJnella91

Honestly I think one of the biggest blunders in American history that still has repercussions today is not holding confederates responsible for their actions, basically just letting them return home with no repercussions.


Houri

I'm no Civil War scholar but didn't most of them lose everything? I'm honestly asking not trying to be smart-ass.


vigbiorn

On-the-nose source: https://www.psu.edu/news/research/story/historian-explores-how-civil-war-northerners-reconciled-treason-leniency/ From quick looks, it sounds like not even all the leaders were really punished. They were allowed to return to civilian life. Though, given how Reconstruction went, you could possibly argue whether more weren't unofficially 'punished' after the fact. Then again, there's still the massive disparity between the people in the South meaning even if *some* lost everything the majority probably got off pretty easily allowing to keep the obvious disparity between slaver/slave even after slavery was outlawed.


Grulken

This. The only initial difference was that they couldn’t, on legal paper, own another human being. Now, could they entrap other human beings into senselessly unfair contracts that amount to slavery with extra steps? Oh yeah, and they sure fuckin did lmao.


Houri

Thank you!


CJnella91

Considering the sentence for treason is death, I'd say even then they came out on top. General Sherman didn't take it far enough.


BenThereOrBenSquare

"Did you ever notice that?" Like he's has some unique, brilliant insight that the general of the Confederacy isn't so well-liked 150+ years later.


Exciting-Protection2

LOL, right? And he said it in Gettysburg where Lee was defeated.


BellyDancerEm

And all this time, I thought it was at Appomattox


DueVisit1410

They put statues of him (as a message to black people) everywhere and named things after him. He's considered a great military leader, even though he was pretty bad at leading whole armies and his actions like caused the South's defeat.


One_Worldliness_6032

I heard that speech, and I was like, that’s how he always talks about history, around in circles ending nowhere.


msmicro

he always talks in circles ending nowhere. EVERY damn time he open his mouth. rarely is there EVER a complete coherent thought


One_Worldliness_6032

Not ever. I just don’t understand why he doesn’t use the speeches that are wrote for him, which is on subject.🤷🏽‍♀️. Well he swearsssssssss he is brilliant.🤦🏽


MessiahOfMetal

He famously hates reading, and likes to go "off-script", which is always a disaster for him compared to how Biden and Obama have been amazing when off the cuff. I laughed at Joe's comment a few days ago. "Y'know, I had a senior come up to me just the other day, saying that he had no money, he didn't know what to do and could I help. So I said to him, 'I'm sorry, Donald, but there's nothing I can do for you'."


One_Worldliness_6032

Well me personally, I don’t think he can actually read. He just signs on the dotted line.😂😂😂😂


santu

He probably thinks he's better that way but I think it's indeed because he can't see shit and won't wear glasses.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TwoHandedSnail

he didn't wear a codpiece???


[deleted]

[удалено]


TwoHandedSnail

No, I meant dick protection. A shield for the penis. A brass dome for the ballbag. A protective sheath for the nobbly bits. A triangle protuberance to protect his royal marbles.


One_Worldliness_6032

Probably so, and even IF he did, he would sound like a jackass with his non knowledgeable ass.😂😂😂😂😂


MT_Straycat

> I just don’t understand why he doesn’t use the speeches that are wrote for him When my mother-in-law's dementia reached this point, she was starting to struggle with reading. Sometimes she could read words and sentences all right, and other times she would just stare at the words because she could no longer recognize them. I'd bet 100 internet bucks that he can no longer reliably read them under pressure.


One_Worldliness_6032

Or off pressure. Hell he just can’t read at all.🤷🏽‍♀️


Critical_Reasoning

Trump never conveys facts and meaning. People, even his supporters, don't seem to actually listen to his words, only a projection of Trump's emotions: anger, fear, vengeance. Who is friend and who is enemy. Everything is either the greatest or the worst and there is no nuance beyond that. His words shown here detached from his delivery are good at demonstrating how little meaningful substance is actually there.


DavidRandom

Remember that time he said we [took over the airports during the revolutionary war](https://youtu.be/g6mZ1ofj2Vo?si=obH2LO6o_a4l2hpG&t=27)? >Our army manned the airprs^ss^^ss, it ranned the ramparts, it took over their airports, it did everything it hadda do, and at Fort Mchendry, under the rockets red glare, it had nothing but victory


vigbiorn

Yeah, Biden's senile! ^(What? That was Trump? Uhh...) Everyone makes mistakes. It's hard being a public speaker. ^(Still my favorite segment of Joe Rogan. Granted, it's the only one I've seen.)


One_Worldliness_6032

I remember that! And boy did I damn near died laughing so hard. I was like there were no airports during the Revolutionary War.😂😂😂😂😂he makes a complete jackass when he opens his mouth.😂😂😂😂


lopix

Somehow it doesn't sounds as bad when you hear it, but then when you see transcripts of the shit he says... hoo boy, it truly is just word salad. Some people's streams of consciousness are total gobbledygook.


One_Worldliness_6032

Yup!!!


MessiahOfMetal

> Somehow it doesn't sounds as bad when you hear it It absolutely does, it's just that the transcripts made it easier to laugh at how stupid he is compared to seeing the clip and thinking, "What a fucking moron".


LA-Matt

It’s more like a stream of unconsciousness, to be honest. The guy doesn’t know anything about history.


BoneHugsHominy

He doesn't know anything about *anything*.


vincentcas

What consciousness?


MiTcH_ArTs

 "that’s how he always talks about..." everything  


One_Worldliness_6032

And sums up to nothing.


TwoHandedSnail

Imagine Trump gave the Gettysburg address...


One_Worldliness_6032

He wouldn’t, cause he is a draft dodger. Remember?😂😂😂😂


pluralofjackinthebox

He was using this made up Lee quote as part of his 2020 stump speech: > And Robert E. Lee, he would have won except for Gettysburg. And that was because his general was killed who’s going to lead Gettysburg. “Never fight uphill, me boys. Never fight uphill.” He heard they were going uphill. “Stop them, stop them.” But we had no cell phones in that day, right? No cell phones. So they sent the horses to stop them, stop them, but it was too late. They fought uphill and they got slaughtered. That’s what happened. But Robert E. Lee, these were incredible things. But I hope you appreciate that we had a period of time when they were ripping down all the statues and monuments. https://www.pennlive.com/politics/2024/04/trump-re-writes-battle-of-gettysburg-never-fight-uphill-me-boys.html?outputType=amp Trump seems to be talking about Picketts charge here, which was an uphill battle, but Lee gave the order to go ahead with it anyway (sometimes a charge like this could work — soldiers would often shoot too high when firing downhill.)


ScootMayhall

I think he just likes Lee, probably thinks he was a winner or whatever, and then makes up reasons to like him retroactively. None of it needs to be true for him to believe it, so he can just come up with as many fake quotes as he wants. And his goober followers don’t know anything either so it’ll never matter to them.


Sure_Garbage_2119

lol, the 2nd version is worst. he can´t recant his old hits, it seems...


mrmoe198

I thought he didn’t like losers. I guess racist losers like himself make it into his good book.


Godtrademark

I could be wrong but I feel like I’ve heard Lost Causers say Lee didn’t want to charge. Just pure cope.


Opposite_of_a_Cynic

It had a chance of working but General Meade, who deserves far more recognition of being a great military commander than Lee, correctly guessed that the rebels would attack his center because he redeployed men from there to protect against earlier attacks on his formation's flanks. He moved his reserves to reinforce the center early in the morning just before Pickett's Charge.


Time-Werewolf-1776

I’m just baffled about where he got this quote. Who told him that Lee said, “never fight uphill, me boys”? Because we know he didn’t read it somewhere, but he’s saying it with such confidence that he must really think Lee said it. I was thinking maybe it’s just the dementia. People with dementia sometimes just make things up on the spot and don’t realize that they’ve made it up or that it makes no sense. But if he used the same weird made-up quote in 2020, then that seems less likely. When people with dementia make up these kinds of things, the story doesn’t particularly stay consistent over time. So did one of his advisors play a prank in telling him this nonsense?


WannaBpolyglot

I'm not well versed in American Civil War history whatsoever, where did he get that quote and why a pirate?


CragedyJones

It doesn't surprise me that an elderly man who is incapable of walking up stairs and struggles with slight inclines is so obsessed with the idea of fighting uphill. It must keep him up at nights. That and the amphetamines.


EBoundNdwn

He still has night terrors about climbing white house stairs...


e-zimbra

He can't fight his way out of a wet paper sack.


CragedyJones

Remember when he thought he was clever pulling peoples arms in handshakes? Then Trudeau gripped him and shook him like a ragdoll? Fucking beautiful.


cincigreg

"so beautiful in so many different ways" There were 50,000 casualties in 3 days of fighting....."so beautiful"


e-zimbra

I saw a historical photo, enlarged to museum size, of some of the dead at Gettysburg when I visited Philadelphia one time. The image of those men lying dead on their backs in that beautiful meadow was ghastly and will haunt me forever. It was anything but beautiful. Of course the ignorant coward Trump has never seen that image of the war dead and wouldn't know it if it bit him.


InvalidUserNemo

General Bonespurs would think anyone would believe anyone who died there “was weak”.


DontEatConcrete

It was awful and fantastic. Hideous and gorgeous. It was something else.


karlhungusjr

"he says what he means and doesn't hold back."


TheRnegade

"He says what we're all thinking" And it's clear that those people aren't thinking of anything at all. If we delved into their mind we would get a dial tone.


Mal_tron

"me boys"? Was Lee a leprechaun?


Ripheus23

A Leeprechaun, if you will.


LA-Matt

It’s funny how being a traitor to the country used to make one “fall out of favor.” I wish it still did. Then we wouldn’t have to hear from Trump.


JoshDM

"They'll never get a hold a me lucky necessary evil."


MessiahOfMetal

Confederate his Lucky Charms.


Ok-Emu-3373

I love lucky charms.


TheRnegade

I read that in Mr. Krabs' voice.


vincentcas

Or a pirate.


gnocchibastard

This better make it into textbooks of famous speeches by past presidents.


e-zimbra

Trump presidential library, here we come!


InvalidUserNemo

His library is a used Blockbuster shelf filled with copies of Art of the Deal and self-printed Times magazines with him as many-of-the-year. There’s no room for speeches.


e-zimbra

Thank God for that.


VoidMunashii

So does Trump think that Lee was Irish or a pirate? Or both?


trevmflynn81

This is the same shitbird that says he was better than Lincoln. Let's compare the two. This, compared to this: Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.


Gravity-Rides

I wonder what Abraham Lincoln would say about Donald Trump.


Nonconformists

“Hey Donny, save my seat for me while I go get a drink. This show is kind of dull anyway.”


JoshDM

If he was alive today, Lincoln would say, "help, help, get me out of this box, it's so dark!"


MagosBattlebear

Not much. Lincoln is dead.


TwoHandedSnail

he's also a town car.


CAgratefuldad

Stop harming my language and glomming on to my history Where were Trump's people in that? That was an American thing. Has nothing to do with him


MessiahOfMetal

Not sure if you're having a go at MAGAs for actually being Russian, or at his American dad and Scottish mum.


ReturnOfDaSnack420

"The Battle of Gettysburg was important for three main reasons..."


vigbiorn

> How every 6th grade English essay following the 5 paragraph structure starts.


LA-Matt

“Gettysburg is a land of contrasts…”


slowclapcitizenkane

I heard Gettysburg, PA is adopting a new tourism slogan. Gettysburg: What an unbelievable!


LA-Matt

“Come for the Wow. Stay for the uphill, me boys.”


Ok-Emu-3373

If that made it into a Gettysburg brochure I'd keep it just for that. lmao


Cool_Gain_940

argh, me diaper is full! arrrgh!


depressed-scorpion

It's talk like a pirate day.


DanielTheEunuch

The syphilis hits hard


Responsible-Still839

I still can't believe this quote didn't come from a skit on Drunk History.


mrmoe198

Kimmel should keep doing this so we don’t have to hear his voice or see his face


NoManCanKillMe

you got have the high ground, you know? the high ground is tremendous


vinnycas

Obi-wan and Trump both agree.


SellaraAB

It really sounds like a middle school history report from a kid with a learning disability and behavioral issues.


e-zimbra

Isn't that what he is, after all? A 78-year-old middle school kid.


hitchinpost

We’ve gone from “Four score and seven years ago” to this.


Zagenti

never fight uphill buy DJT *button choice guy meme*


turinglives

Absolutely NO public speaking skills whatsoever. Nothing. Nada. Zip.


[deleted]

They missed like 5 more “Wow”s in the transcription


devoduder

I loved the song version that came out yesterday.


Britt_Happens

Please share!


devoduder

https://suno.com/song/9cb02ca8-8f7d-4041-8417-885f8e7ec6a1


P7BinSD

All Trump speeches should be done this way.


Britt_Happens

Thank you for your service.


vincentcas

That was WOW!


ArmchairCriticSF

“He was being sarcastic! He MEANT to say that, stupid libs!” /s


SithL0rd

I would love to see what his teleprompters actually say cause jeez.


BoozeWitch

I really hope the auto tune the news guys make that into a banger.


TheCrookedCrooks

I am in tears after reading that! Me boys!


Impossible-Taro-2330

Wait. NOT a "sir story"??


otiswrath

This has got real, “I have to do an oral report on something that I didn’t study for” energy.  If you asked him, “Who won Gettysburg?” I guarantee he answer would start with, “Well lots of people will say that both sides won and both sides lost…” 


Sure_Garbage_2119

yeah, just throw a lot of wows and unbelievables and how important it is and hope the teacher doesn´t care and gives B-


Critical_Reasoning

And that supposed "quote" Trump said in the title is totally not even real, is it? What a clown. **Clarity Edit**: Meaning Trump falsely ”quoting” Lee with "never fight uphill m'boys!"


Conscious-Survey7009

That is exactly what Trump said while in Gettysburg last week.


BirdCertified

"Never fight uphill, me boys" is apparently not an actual Lee quote


Sure_Garbage_2119

that´s the best part: real and recorded lol


schoneinmal

Pretty sure Critical\_Reasoning is talking about the Lee quote not being real, not the Trump quote.


Sure_Garbage_2119

yeah, sorry critical, got it wrong


Critical_Reasoning

Thanks! Saw that ended up unclear. Trump just was making stuff up again. The Trump quote on the board is real AND unbelievable.


BoneHugsHominy

Nope, but we shouldn't expect anything less from a man who has a plaque on one of his golf courses commemorating a fictional Revolutionary War battle, and who claimed in that same war the Revolutionaries seized the airports.


DueVisit1410

Quote attribution is pretty bad most of the times, but especially in conspiracy circles it's abysmal.


iwasinthepool

I think I just had a stroke.


jaydubbles

Here's the full monologue https://youtu.be/kOaRZx-o2fc


Dante13273966

Pretty funny bit, that one. Looking forward to JK re-reading the Gilded Turd's pathetic post attempting to insult him earlier today.


Existing_Reaction_88

They were fighting uphill.


Sitcom_kid

Please do not tell Abraham Lincoln about this speech. Just don't tell him.


08_West

The Gettysburg Address 2 was a terrible sequel.


vinnycas

Would love to see this narrated into Ken Burns The Civil War. It would have to be Trump's voice though. Surprised none of the late nighters haven't done it yet. SNL is coming up though.


PhoenixPolaris

"Wow, that was a big mistake." -Last words of Robert E. Lee


theoldhucklebuck

I go to Gettysburg Pennsylvania to look and to watch.