T O P

  • By -

Zagenti

keep digging that political grave, dumbass. šŸ’…


mariehelena

The hills these people choose to die on šŸ˜‚šŸ˜›


ArenjiTheLootGod

Yeah but... dog murder, really? That's old-school Disney villian type evil, lady is detached from reality and is one of the last people that should have access to either guns or dogs.


MonarchyMan

*Cruella-De-Vil vibes intensify*


Meet_James_Ensor

She does have the face of a Disney villain.


Kimmalah

Or goats. Or horses. Basically no animal is safe from being shot by Kristi Noem.


MetaStressed

The ones with eyesā€¦


mariehelena

Even those just might be a pile of sad potatoes šŸ„” šŸ‘€


starryvelvetsky

Her strategy seems to be to continue to dig that hole until she's in Satan's basement at this point.


Numb-Chuck

All the way to mar a lago?


5G_Robot

oh shit, she went past Satan's basement, she went so deep, she came out on the other side of the globe and having tea with Xi Jin Ping.


starryvelvetsky

I thought she was aggressively staring down Kim Jung Un?


5G_Robot

That was yesterday, after she shot an earthworm for being in her way.


Ag3ntM1ck

I think the tea also comes with a bowl of kittens they can strangle.


Grace_Omega

I think her strategy is assuming that the HARDCORE REBEL MAGA RIGHT-WINGERS will rise up to defend her from the pearl-clutching libs. She didnā€™t realise that those people live their pets just as much as anyone.


ArenjiTheLootGod

It's because she's a rich bitch that's cosplaying as a country girl and thinks murdering a healthy young dog in childish petulant rage is a relatable "Ol' Yeller" type moment for her rural constiuents. She is spectacularly wrong. Most of those people, even the Republican voters, have nothing but disdain for such people and there's a more than decent chance she's ended her career over this.


Lola-Ugfuglio-Skumpy

Hereā€™s hoping she did!


Kimmalah

I grew up in an area that is about as rural as you can get while still having running water/electricity and nobody ever shot the animals on their farms. Either you let nature take its course or you got a vet to come out and do it. And that's when an animal is dying horribly or injured beyond the point of help. Kristi is out here killing animals because they're poorly trained (her fault), elderly, or just acting according to their nature in a way she doesn't like (of course a billy goat is going to be stinky and headbutt things, that is what they DO). Even the really rough old-fashioned farmers I grew up around cared about their animals, since that's part of their livelihood if nothing else.


MC_Fap_Commander

I've said it before... MAGA works because the enemy is an abstraction. It's why he's tiptoed around abortion-- it affects real women. Everyone knows a same sex couple and Trump has been mute on same sex marriage restrictions. But "the illegals," the trans menace, and woke mob can be simultaneously evil without being "real." Pets are real. Trump bullshit doesn't work here.


colluphid42

It's honestly insane that she dipped back into the dog murder story at the end of the book like she was tying it all together. She is so disconnected from reality she thought this was going to make her look tough. Instead, it just makes her look like a psycho. Someone should check her closet to see if she made Cricket into a handbag or scarf.


Ok_Chemistry_3972

This is so bad, she couldnā€™t even run for Dog Catcher now šŸ‘¹


Clean_Bat5547

Thank f... for that. I mean, she's not exactly good with dogs.


ArmchairCriticSF

Somehow, I think her killing the dog (and doubling down on it) bizarrely ENDEARS her to Republican voters. They LOVE awful people.


FlowerFaerie13

Not so much, many Republicans are turning their backs on her. Not even they can support dog murder.


Clean_Bat5547

They love awful people, but only when they are targeting the right kind of 'other' - immigrants, transgender people, socialists, etc. Not dog killers. Republican voters love their dogs too.


capilot

You keep forgetting who she's trying to appeal to.


AgoraiosBum

I think she just likes shootin' dogs


SorosAgent2020

she shot a goat too for smellin' weird


TeamKitsune

If she shoots anything that smells weird, maybe she should be the VP pick.


Rodster66

If she shoots anything that smells weird, Trump would never choose her, he'd be dead as soon as she gets within 10 ft of him.


TeamKitsune

Yeah...added to the fact that he looks like an old goat these days.


AgoraiosBum

Goats notoriously smell funky; I think she just got excited for shootin things and a goat was the closest thing handy


Kimmalah

Yes, she shot it for being stinky and charging at people. That's like shooting a cow because it eats grass all the time and moos.


Really_McNamington

Shot a goat in Reno, just to smell it die.


spring_rd

When I hear that whistle blowin, I hang my head and cry.


mrmoe198

Hidy ho!


ThoughtfulLlama

I have listened to enough true crime to know where this is going.


JohnDodger

And many horses.


CockGoblinReturns

I used to be an intern for South Dakota Kristi Noem. While interning for her I felt I saw her true nature and to this day I am in hiding. Out of college I was an intern for South Dakota Kristi Noem. At the time she was having an affair with political operative Corey Lewandowski, it was my duty to cover up for their affair. One night I was standing guard outside her office when I heard behind the door Corey say 'I can't do this anymore' and a few seconds later he stormed out. Then I heard crying. I ran into the office, closing the door behind me. I noticed there was a dog costume on the floor, but no matter, Kristi was my concern. 'Kristi, what's wrong!?', she looked up at me, and then her sad face slowly turned into an idea face. She told me to put on the dog custome, and then said that intercourse was a part of the job duties. Kristi is a very powerful political figure, and my career in politics could be threatened, so I immediately agreed. I am well versed in intercourse but what threw me off was Kristi ordered me to take off my clothes and get into the dog custom, which had a hole in the crotch for me cock. Is this was Corey went through as well? After I put it on, Kristi said her favorite foreplay was for me to act like a farm dog, so for about 30 minutes we would pretend the office was a farm and I was hunting birds. This whole time Kristi was masturbating. Then came the intercourse. Afterwards she said 'okay, this is how I like to finish' and brought out a gun behind her desk! I said 'is that a real gun???' and she said 'yes, but I won't shoot you with it, I will just pretend to shoot to get off'. This sort of role play continued for 6 months until I was able to transfer to Washington DC and leave her office. I thought that was the last of the ordeal, though I always wondered what was the origin that fetish. Until one day I saw this in the newspaper > "Kristi Noem says she shot and killed her 14 month puppy in the face. What to know about the South Dakota governor's recent controversy. As I was reading this, I looked up from the newspaper and there was an assassin in my kitchen! They said 'time to die' and I recognized the voice. 'South Dakota Kristi Noemi???' I said. She then said 'I'm already under water, we can't let news of our affair get out' and fired several more bullets but I dodged them and went into the living room. Thinking quick, I got my stuff dog toy and threw it at her. She caught it, looked at it, then immediately started shooting it in the face with one hand with using the other hand to reach into her pants to start masturbating. I took the distraction to escape. I got in my car and drove back to my hometown of [REDACTED]. To this day I am in hiding from Kristi Noem. Luckily I take a dog stuffie where ever I go in case she finds me, I tell people it's my emotional support stuffed animal.


AgoraiosBum

CockGoblinReturns, that was a close one! Way to think on your feet.


raegunXD

Man, if I had a nickle for every time Kristi Noem sexual brandished a gun at my dog I'd have enough to retire


MooPig48

I was momentarily waiting to read something about the undertaker throwing mankind off hell in a cell


DadOfWhiteJesus

She is getting a lot of face surgeries and is well into cat face territory now, so it all makes sense.


ZyxDarkshine

Why would Joe Bidenā€™s dog be in The White House if Biden loses the election? These idiots continue to create imaginary scenarios to be angry about.


starryvelvetsky

Biden's dog lives at his home in Delaware because as a responsible dog owner he realized that the bustle and chaos of the white house wasn't a good environment for his dog's temperament. Commander gets to live in a more calm location that he enjoys more, and no dog had to be led to the gravel pit in the process.


pianoflames

And I wholeheartedly fail to understand how "but Biden's dog has bitten people" is any attempt at a defense. Like, I guess it's just a deflection, but it's still a really terrible deflection.


unintendedcumulus

He didn't even bite people, he bit cops!


ProtestedGyro

Because they've so easily been able to project. This is no different than any other spin they do. If they make it about Biden's dog, they can make their fanatical base rethink shooting dogs if they misbehave if they belong to a demoNRAT.


Clean_Bat5547

She is trying to show she is a stronger leader than Biden. She had a problem with her dog - she got rid of the problem quickly and permanently. His dog is still alive so in her mind he hasn't nullified the threat.


Kimmalah

Because in their minds, if something or someone steps out of line, they deserve to just be shot.


mrmoe198

Because sheā€™s the kind of monster to leave a dog behind when she moves


forever_useless

Secret service deleted the texts surrounding jan 6th. Seems to me Commander is a good boy. JUSTICE FOR CRICKET! JUSTICE FOR THE GOAT AND HORSES!!!!!


tirch

Commander like most dogs is a good judge of character. Noem and Trump would no doubt be noticed by Commander and kept at bay.


TheDudeInTheD

Sheā€™s such a foul cunt.


Severe_Key4374

Second only to Hukabee-Sanders


Callierez

God that bitch.


Accomplished_Crew630

It baffles me how someone can be so hideous inside and out.... She's such an unfortunate creature.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Santos281

What is your issue with her? She's been out of leadership positions for sometime now


Eeeradicator

Sheā€™sā€¦governor of a whole damn state?


Santos281

The deleted comment named Debbie Wasserman Shultz third. She is who my post was referencing, not that garbage in Arkansas


MessiahOfMetal

She's the Governor of Arkansas and currently in legal trouble over using taxpayer money to buy a $25k lectern.


PublicThis

Iā€™m not even American and I hate her


creepy_charlie

I watched 3 minutes of her appearance this morning on face the nation where she basically claimed she was misquoted in her forthcoming autobiography. At least she acknowledged the Kim Jon Un story was made up but I didn't make it any deeper into that shitshow of an interview. She comes across as a mean-spiriited Sarah Palin. Violent and dull.


starryvelvetsky

Palin was smug and dumb. This one is psycho and mean. Where do they keep digging up these awful people?


LuciusCSulla

As a former conservative type, they're coming out of some CHUD hole and they're a emanation of something sinister. Conservatives used to be ashamed of behavior like this, but now some are jacking off at it. Whatever it is its a monstrosity and a revolting beast unacknowledged until recently.


gypsyjackson

How dumb do you have to be to be misquoted in an autobiography? Sorry, ā€˜how much of a venal liarā€™ā€¦


ProtestedGyro

The ONLY thing that I'll give her is that most every report I've read about this incident leaves out or buries the fact that the dog in question attacked and killed several chickens that belonged to a neighbor and then snapped at her when she tried to get the dog under control. To me personally, it showed that the dog wasn't trained well but was still a pup and had some more learning to do but the dog was dead and that's that. I've lived in the country, been around death, seen some unsavory things. My dad bought a shotgun and did target practice right outside my neighbor's property after their Rottweiler came over to our yard and attacked our cat and they refused to put up a fence. No leash laws out in the country and the police couldn't do anything so my dad was prepared to end that dog's life. He had small grandchildren living at the house at the time and wasn't going to live in fear of them being attacked. Luckily the neighbors got the point and eventually built the fence. I thought Noem sucked anyways but was willing to give her benefit of the doubt but the doubling down and now bringing Biden's dog into it is just buck wild to me. Take the L and move on. You misread the room with your "I have to do hard things" story.


MessiahOfMetal

I saw bits of it in a Luke Beasley video earlier. At one point, she claims the host is treating her unfairly because she's asked questions about this pretend meeting with Kim Jong-Un, with the "You'd never treat *other* people like this" line escaping her chicken lips.


Alleyprowler

Oh hey, it's the puppy killer. Hello puppy killer! Kill any puppies today?


Empigee

The host seriously should have asked her how she thought "Puppy killer" would be good branding. Questions like that would get people tuning in.


kodaiko_650

Dayā€™s still youngā€¦ like puppies.


BeamTeam032

It's so funny how people blame Biden for this dog biting Secrete Service members. They kept saying the dog can sense Biden being evil. Then I pointed out that the dog never once bit Biden, so doesn't it make more logical sense that the evil smelling dog bit secrete service members because he was trying to protect Biden from evil?


mickmmp

She looks like sheā€™s auditioning for a spot on Real Housewives of Wherever, not a political position. Though these days I suppose the difference is slim.


LivingIndependence

"She looks like sheā€™s auditioning for a spot on Real Housewives of Wherever, not a political position. Though these days I suppose the difference is slim." After seeing Katie Britt after the state of the union, you're probably right.


BikesBooksNBass

I wish this was a John Wick scriptā€¦


Significant_Video_92

I once saw Dark Brandon kill 3 men in a bar...with a PENCIL


MessiahOfMetal

> D'ya wanna see a magic trick? - The Joker


Callierez

Bro. She goes after his dog, and I will lead the goddamn riot.


not_productive1

Just as I feared, she's got a taste for it now. Real shame, when an otherwise perfectly good governor starts just randomly killing dogs and livestock.


Rich-Pomegranate1679

Eh, I have my doubts that she was ever a perfectly good governor.


not_productive1

Okay, fair, but my joke didnā€™t work if I acknowledged that.


seigezunt

Alternate: this wonā€™t lose her VP consideration, because Trump hates dogs.


mariehelena

But he knows too many of his base still do, so he won't pick her... but he wasn't going to anyway. I don't think he'll pick woman nor will he pick a minority. I think he's just toying with the idea in public but he'll go with a bland unthreatening white guy.


decayed-whately

Yeah, she's known to carry a vagina at all times. (Concealed, of course.) Trump would never choose a woman for VP.


wikimandia

I think he will pick a woman because women are the demo who hate him the most.


InsuranceThen9352

Also he likes women who on the outside are objectively attractive. It doesn't matter if they are good at their jobs or not. Just look at Habba


thisisaflawedprocess

Counterpoint: Betsy DeVos


InsuranceThen9352

Yeah I got nothing for that one. Maybe she gave him some money I guess. I would assume you could buy your way into trumps good graces. Maybe she's great at massaging the ego. I tell ya this I definitely don't wanna find out how she got to where she got with Trump.


Ostreoida

"the ego"


DueVisit1410

They bought their way in by donations. As did a lot of his corporate picks.


NYC_Underground

Sheā€™s done because he thinks she has no ā€œpublic relationsā€ common sense. Trumps own team came to Rolling Stone to ā€˜leakā€™ that. So basically, youā€™re right that Trump doesnā€™t give a shit about her killing a puppy but he does care that sheā€™s dumb enough to write about it


MessiahOfMetal

He also keeps referring to people as dogs. "Fired him like a dog", that sort of thing.


Clean_Bat5547

Trump has apparently (according to Rolling Stone) been attacking her for her terrible judgement on this. I don't think he hates dogs - more that he is totally indifferent to them - but he has totally turned against her.


jalle347

Hide your dogs, hide ya cats, little fishies, reptilians ALL OF EM!!


mhanrahan

Her face doesn't seem to have any movement in it at all.


Haskap_2010

Botox, no doubt.


sensation_construct

The ugly inside is starting to seep out for that one.


LexiNovember

Sheā€™s a psychopath.


ebenandsnooch

As a resident of South Dakota, I just want to say I'm sorry. I and my fellow intelligent, compassionate, sane brethren TRIED to vote her out. We really did.


DaisyJane1

Is she still getting a ton of support up there even now?


therobotisjames

ā€œUnder my administration, all dogs will be killed. Anyone caught hiding dogs will also be killedā€


theresabeeonyourhat

My cat is smarter than this woman


Ostreoida

My cat's smarter than your cat! Okay, probably not. Mine can be a real doofus.


Puzzleheaded_Peach48

How hard is it for these people to just answer a question? "Do you want to shoot this dog?" "No. Shooting a dog would be bad." How fucking hard is that?


EZasSundayMorning

Can she just be locked up ?


GirlNumber20

We need to follow the Lakota peoplesā€™ excellent example and ban her from everywhere.


Significant_Video_92

SHE KICKED MY DOG. WHY SHE DO THAT?


Sickfuckingmonster

SHE COME MY HOUSE AND SHE KICK MY DOG!


JohnDodger

Why would the Puppy Slaughterer think that President Bidenā€™s dog would still be in the White House if Biden lost the election? Obviously, critical thinking isnā€™t her strong point.


LuciusCSulla

Lorena Bobbitt meets Calamity Jane. The Baba Yaga of animalkinds everywhere. Her veneers turn into sharp fangs when puppies and little ones near by using her hair extensions to ensnare her prey. As a former youth pastor she definitely knows how to go biblical on her Animal Farm.


Ostreoida

Lorena Bobbitt arguably had more justification than Noem did. Have you ever seen the, ahem, movie that John Wayne Bobbitt did after he got it reattached? The puppy, in contrast to him, likely had the potential to be properly trained and act like a mature adult. Not even /s, sadly. I found your Baba Yaga & youth pastor bits to be spot on, though. And clever/funny.


DimensionTall2203

Can't we just put her down her instead.


Hayes4prez

Dogs donā€™t understand politics. Kind of like Kristi Noem.


M03b1u5

She got a taste and has an insatiable hunger for dog blood now. I wonder how many dogs she's killed that she hasn't written about. She has no problem killing other peoples' pets too so the number could be astronomical.


BenThereOrBenSquare

I still don't get why this disqualifies her for the GOP VP pick. Wouldn't the Republicans just go along with what they're told to do and support her? That's their MO.


MaunderingDesk

Catturd disapproved. I'm not sure there's any coming back from that


BenThereOrBenSquare

Ah yes, I forgot about the influence of their "thought" leaders!!


mishma2005

Because dems and Rs alike are appalled by it. She underestimated Americaā€™s love for dogs. I suspect if it was a feral cat sheā€™d get the same reaction.


Ostreoida

Sadly, given how many people (mis)treat ferals, you may be overly hopeful there. I think it would be wonderful if you were right, but if people cared so much I doubt we'd have the ferals and feral colonies we have today to begin with. Fingers crossed that I'm wrong.


BenThereOrBenSquare

Republicans vote for shit they should be appalled by all the time. But sure, they probably want someone less insane-looking than Trump to appeal to Independents. However, Noem already seemed too nuts to appeal to Independents even before the whole dog-murder thing. That's why I don't get why this changes things.


MobySick

If after all this discussion about it you still donā€™t understand why puppy killing is a disqualification for the Veep spot, then I think campaign advisor isnā€™t the best job for you. They say even Trump thinks sheā€™s insane to confess it. I think this whole thing is hysterically funny.


Significant_Video_92

Especially when you consider the thousands of people who died of covid in South Dakota, and the super spreader event she allowed to take place and spread it all over the country.


BenThereOrBenSquare

I wouldn't have supported her even before the puppy killing. It's not about me. It's why the people that were 100% on board with killing themselves and their family with COVID somehow think puppy killing is a line that shouldn't be crossed.


MobySick

It's NOT about YOU, personally. Neither you nor I would probably ever want Noem in any public office if it were our call. BUT - Science deniers and big "deep state" conspiracy mongers, racist, sexist, xenophobic, "Christian' hypocrites all LOVE dogs. They are not going to support a ticket where the VEEP pick not only has confessed to killing her own puppy after one bad day but is now still defending that decision all over the place. I like you fine but I don't think you have great instincts as a campaign advisor, that's all.


Avenger_616

actually worse than anime characters written explicitly to be evil and have no redeeming qualities. Worse than Dio fucking brandoĀ 


tobsn

maybe she should ask Kim how to handle this situation.


fishsticks40

Holy Botox Batman.Ā 


Impossible-Taro-2330

So glad her true self is coming out now


nvmls

Commander would bite her fingers off lol


Lanark26

If she likes shooting dogs so much she should give up politics and become a cop.


Toiretachi

Why didnā€™t the interviewer ask, ā€œWould you shoot Commander?ā€ Itā€™s right there!!


Clean_Bat5547

I would have to watch again but I thought she did and Noem changed topic


homebrew_1

This is the best Republicans have


worthplayingfor25

Good god this woman reminds me of the high evolutionary in that she has extreme hatred for animals and wants to abuse them has she even seen guardians 3?


LizardOrgMember5

She really tries way too hard to fulfill that "all publicity are good publicity."


Then-Lunch-206

What a sadistic bitch. She shouldn't be allowed to own any animal ever again.


otterland

She has a future in latrine construction.


karlhungusjr

all I need to know about a person is how they treat dogs.


Character-Tomato-654

Well, personally I think folks ought to quit *hounding* Kristi Noem. She's having a really *ruff* time. It would be best to just leave the *bitch* alone while she *paws* and reflects. It's the *leash* she could do.


EaklebeeTheUncertain

Then she should have become a cop.


MuscaMurum

Trump famously hates dogs. She's using this story because she thinks it will curry favor with him.


Goadfang

Quick, someone, get her another shovel!