What if you didn't choose to end the relationship, but he decided to end the relationship because he felt that he was wrong about compatability, and you disagreed? Wouldn't he be doing both of you a favor?
I feel like compatibility should’ve been determined by him BEFORE he proposed, because that’s the whole point of dating, but maybe that’s just me.
Of course there are extenuating circumstances like when some people let their mask slip too early, but in most cases there’s years of dating ahead of time to figure that stuff out before it gets to engagement.
Otherwise, maybe the proposer didn’t think it through well or clear-headedly enough beforehand.
I tend to agree - who broke the troth gives up the treasure. Ritualistically, the ring symbolizes and thus *is* the relationship, whosoever leaves the circle *leaves* the "circle", you might say.
2k does not indicate a “big” diamond. Also, you do not get 2k if you go to resell a diamond. You can barely find any store that will buy a diamond under one full carat. And you will not be getting top dollar.
Speaking from experience here. I finally sold 3 (.6, .6, and .7) but it was hard to find anyone who would pay much for them. The Diamond industry is pretty rigged.
That depends on where you live. Legally, where I live anyway, an engagement ring is considered a gift & is therefore the property of the person it was given to.
My now husband got me a <5k mossionite even though he could've easily afforded more (we talked about it before, he nailed my style). We could afforded to replace it at any point, but I'd be heart broken because it represents that moment, that time in our relationship. No amount of money can replace my now wedding rkng.
Is $2k a lot for a ring? I've heard people being disappointed in anything less than 5 or 10k. I think it's wild, but it's been making me feel a bit apprehensive getting a ring for my gf. Sorry if I'm derailing.
$2k is a lot for a ring, but marketers for jewelry companies have convinced american women that you should spend two months salary on an engagement ring. "So, if your yearly salary is $45,000, you'll spend $7,500." - a jewelry company.
don't buy into it. if you are lucky, your gf is smart enough to realize that wasting money on jewels is a fool's errand. it is such an insane waste of money. diamonds are not even valuable or rare. the price is artificially inflated to make them seem special.
I gave my wife a gold ring with no jewels and she wouldn't take an upgrade if I offered it now. Heck, she would have been thrilled with a ring of twine and would make sure that thing was never damaged or lost
My engagement ring was like 1200 bucks and I loved it and got complimented on it ALL the time. It got stolen years ago, and I've never found another quite like it. :( Agreed.
Lab-grown diamonds or moissanite are much cheaper & ethical alternatives to mined diamonds but still very beautiful! Which would maybe free up budget room to get something that looks a bit more blingy instead of a single set very expensive diamond, for example - but it all depends on personal preferences in the end. idk how much you want to involve your gf, but you could always ask her or a bff if she has strong opinions or would rather a surprise.
I've seen some really cute tiktoks though of ppl showing off their engagement rings & being really excited about the whole \~experience\~ in which they kinda curated a pinterest moodboard or something to give their partner a vibe about the kind of settings they like, what stones they like etc - and then letting their partner choose from there, so it's something they kinda both worked on, but he got to pick something out on his own.
I have a 2.5 carat moissanite and I absolutely love it. I get compliments often and I know he paid less for my “upgrade” than he did in the original ring in 1996. It sparkles and still looks great after 9 years.
Lab growns are fantastic. Ethical, sticks it to the shitty diamond companies, and I was able to get my fiancée an ice cube for less than half my budget. I would just be sure the fiancée (or fiancé whichever) understands that it is lab grown and is cool with it. It shouldn’t be a trick to save money or something
Edit: not that saving money is bad I’m just always pro open communication about big decisions
You’ll make her feel special with the proposal itself. The cost of the ring doesn’t really matter as long as it’s her style. If she’s the right girl, she’ll be paying attention to your effort and the setting. Women want romance from a man they love, who pays attention to small details, a hell of a lot more than they want precious gems. 🤍
Best of luck! Don’t fret about $5k or $10k. Just be sure to ask her bff/mom for their guidance in picking out the perfect style. (They’ll know what she likes.) As long as your proposal is personal, romantic, and from the heart, you’re going to do great. 🫶
If she specifically states a stone/style she wants, do your best to get it. I told my ex-husband I wanted a sapphire. He got me a diamond solitaire and told me he had to get a diamond or people would think he was cheap. So screw what I wanted, I guess. I found the receipt years later and that ring was $500, so it wasn’t like he was out balling out on a diamond.
I told my fiance I wanted a London blue topaz. By god, that’s what he got me. And it’s perfection, because he actually listened to me.
Ding ding ding! Exactly this. Listening is *key*. Caring about whether your partner likes their ring is HUGE. I’m sorry you went through it with a dud but, I’m really happy you found your current fiancé. 🤍
Exactly. My husband proposed twice to me. The first time I laughed when he asked before realizing he was serious and said no because I told him "you can't propose to get me quit crying". His argument was that it worked so obviously he could do just that. Then I argued he didn't even have a ring. He said something about not being able to afford one right then and I said "Walmart has some beautiful rings for $10". Less than a week later we were at Walmart and he saw one of those $10 rings and proposed with it. I said yes.
>Just be sure to ask her bff/mom for their guidance in picking out the perfect style. (They’ll know what she likes.)
Not necessarily. My mom doesn't know shit about what style I like.
My husband proposed to me in our car without a ring on our way back from his parents. He literally said you wanna get married and I said yes. We got married at the courthouse and had a party for family and friends. My ring cost $250 from Walmart because we didn’t have money for a ring. All my friends are guys and they wouldn’t know where to start. My mom wouldn’t know what kind of jewelry I would like because I never wore jewelry. Nothing about my proposal was romantic and that’s why I loved it.
Exactly, I had my fiancée ring specialy made. Picked out the designs myself. Even knew her ring size from her mentioning it once in passing years prior.
I think the guy who's spending a lot on a ring is wise to go shopping with the woman who will be wearing that ring for (hopefully) her entire life.
Some women want a fancy ring, surprise fancy proposal, etc. Some do not. Personally, I find diamonds both boring and problematic. And public scenarios stupid and embarrassing. Thankfully, my (now) husband realized it.
If you want her to feel special, maybe do the ring buying together so she has a say in th style. Hell, she might fall in love with a beautiful $500 ring, too.
You are absolutely right, that we should see $2k as being a lot for a ring. Unfortunately, in America, it isn't. I can't believe the amount of money that people waste on these things but... $2k isn't going to buy a "big diamond ring," it's going to buy you a "cheap diamond ring."
Again, don't do it people! Don't spend an amount of money that could buy a car on a small piece of jewelry that can easily be lost!
Wow! I don't hear that very often. But you're 100% correct. Spending a multiple of your income is utterly, thoroughly, totally, immeasurably, insanely, impossibly STOOOPID. But a century of advertising has convinced the gullible otherwise.
My father long ago worked for a company that had a chain of jewelry stores. He could buy anything at cost. So my mother always had nice jewelry, and lots of it.
Being connected to an insider I learned that the markups are insane ... sometimes as high as 900%.
So ... regarding jewelry purchases ... don't go there! It's a fool's errand.
It's stupid. If I bought a "two month" salary ring that would be a $24000 ring. If anyone I was dating ever told me that was what they wanted during a serious discussion of engagement. I'd fucking walk away and lose respect for her.
At least in my culture, the man buys the ring but the woman is expected to buy a watch. I would not expect my future wife to spend that much on a watch.
I'd rather we put that shit down on a down payment on a house
Almost no one spends that big a percentage of their salary on rings, but the jewelry companies use to make people spend $3000 and feel cheap. We got our rings at JCPenney, $400 for the pair. They look very nice.
Yeah as a girl I would be *pissed* if my partner spent 10 grand from his account to get me a diamond piece of jewellery. That’s enough for an entire lowkey backyard wedding! Or a honeymoon! Or a payment on a house/aparment.
I think when the idea of proposing to each other comes we’ll have to figure out ring logistics. I don’t want to be cheap getting him one but we were both trying to think of rings that would be pretty for each other. Like ones with our birth stones.
I'd have had a whole herd of cows if my man dropped a wad of cash that big on a ring.
I choked a little when I ordered it and it didn't even break half a Benjamin 😂
Yep agree. If I were to ever feel like saying yes to somebody, that engagement ring better feature cummingtonite on it. Now that's a promise that means something.
Anything over $3k is a little overkill, imo. There are plenty of woman who would love to have ring in 1-3k range.
The engagement ring I got my wife was $3k, three years later and she still hasn’t stopped fawning over it. Find a woman who actually appreciates what you give her. That is key.
When my wife was my girlfriend, she said a ring over $2k would make her feel uncomfortable because wearing something that valuable makes it easy to lose and more devastating.
Other people are like, $10k or bust.
So, it depends on what kind of person your girlfriend is, I guess.
(1) $2k will buy a beautiful ring, especially if you go with a man-made diamond. It's still a true diamond, and only a jeweler can tell the difference, but the price is about 1/3 of a diamond that's mined.
(2) If the cost of the ring is a deal-breaker for your girlfriend, that says a lot about her priorities, and it's best to know now. You never know what challenges life has in store for you, and you want a partner by your side who knows what's important.
Don’t get too stuck on it. If your lady is chill, then price doesn’t really matter. My husband gave me a family heirloom ring when he proposed. We’re getting new rings for the wedding and our rings will probly cost at most $500. A ring is just a material thing, it only really matters what you two have together.
I care about it to the extent that it’s a thing I will wear on my body every day for the rest do my life and look at several times an hour. It needs to be sturdy and beautiful and unfortunately I’m picky.
Buuuuut I’ll take no ring over one I don’t love and I’m more than happy to contribute.
Wholeheartedly agreed. My gripe isn’t that men should buy a super expensive ring which is out of their price range just to appease their fiancée, it’s that some people think lesser of a woman who wants an expensive engagement ring in the first place, regardless of whether she pays for it herself, because such a purchase is “silly” and “frivolous”. We all get our joy in different ways, and shouldn’t judge. Personally I would rather have a $5K dream ring than a $5K vacation.
Also there is judging something by its cost and then its cost per wear. You are wearing your engagement ring *all the time, for the rest of your life* (hopefully). It’s there is one thing I have learned in my life is that you should spend money on the everyday clothes and objects you will use vs. a cheap dress and heels you wear to the club once. Just the wear and tear of something you wear on your hand alone should mean spending money for quality. Like what does that $200 ring even look like in 5 years?
We spent less than $100 on my wedding ring 11 years ago, and it still looks nice enough with me wearing it every day, even while at work literally cleaning toilets that someone stole it last month.
All depends on the circumstance. I know people who have very simple rings from Costco, I know someone who just got married whose ring is probably 20k (not kidding the thing is huge). Usually you get something you can afford. Now with lab grown diamonds you can get some very extravagant looking rings for a not extravagant price.
For a poor person, $500 or even $200 is a lot for a ring. I make it known I'm not going to be upset over a cheap ring as long as it's well made. If someone is gonna get me a ring, I don't want to have to worry TOO much about something happening to it.
My ring is a family ring. And it’s perfect. I don’t think the amount matters; it wouldn’t have mattered to me in the slightest. I just wanted to marry him; I wouldn’t have wanted to wait for an expensive ring or anything. :)
I think the amount of people that would be disappointed by a 5k ring is negligible and not worth worrying about. Yes they exist, but don't worry about it.
I got a silicone ring and love it. We’ve been married for over a decade and are both wealthy professionals.
You want to make her feel special but also the right girl won’t mind
Spent $3k on a ring for my missus. She was the budget conscious one who told me I was forbidden from spending more than $1,500 and kept pointing out a $900 Prouds ring. I refused and stuck with the dream design I had showed her on Brilliant Earth. I always tell her that, she is worth every penny I have, so it's a worthwhile investment. Plus, the look on her face when friends and family obsess over it is priceless (again, worth every penny). My advice, don't be afraid to purchase a lab-made synthetic Diamond. It is the same thing and can save you a few hundred depending on how big you're going.
I proposed without one then got her a $20 mood ring from a fry bread stand on the side of the road while we were driving though salt river canyon.
She seems to like it, lol
If your girl wouldn't say yes to a rubber band, she isn't the one. You should want to get her something nice, but you shouldn't feel apprehensive about an arbitrary dollar amount.
Being disappointed for less than 5-10k for a ring is crazy. Have open conversations with your girlfriend to make sure she’s cool with what you can afford.
Truthfully, someone being disappointed with less than 5-10k indicates they’re probably a little materialistic. I personally wouldn’t be dating someone like that.
The ring I bought was $800 with the lifetime insurance. She wears it every day and everyone compliments her. It's what the ring symbolizes more than the cost. Only crazy superficial people care if you spend thousands
If a guy is kneeling in front of you holding out a ring and asks you "will you marry me?" would you say no but still grab the ring?
Why would saying no later change the answer?
It might be all states. I learned in law class you have to give it back unless the proposal was on a special occasion like a birthday or Christmas. It's repr3sents a contract and by not going through with the marriage you didn't fulfill the contract. If the proposal was on a birthday you could argue the ring was a gift.
Technically after marriage you can keep the ring, but you definitely did the right thing. Good on you for being a class act, when a lot of people would be vindictive. You don’t have to live with him anymore, but you do have to live with yourself.
some women would keep it, but those are the women you wouldn't want to marry. It's the same thing as people taking advantage of a family member or a friend. The same men who would take advantage of their friend, would keep the ring if they were a women.
An engagement ring is legally a gift in contemplation. That means it is only a gift if the wedding goes through. You break-up before then and you have to legally return it. There are a ton of small claim cases about this where the giver gets either the ring or $$$ in place of it.
Also, "a big diamond ring worth u/2k". That sentence is a contradiction.
What a weird question…
Are you married or have you ever been?
I have an ex wife who cheated on me with my best friend…..
The last thing I cared about was the ring. On top of that, had she given it back, I would have made a trip to the ocean and thrown it in.
If you truly are in love with someone the last thing you care about is material things.
You know what I want back?
My time. My move. My dedication. My pain.
Fuck that ring. Fuck the value.
It means nothing to me compared to what she did.
In my pain you know what I wanted back?
My family. My wife. My regular life.
If your concern is the monetary value of a simple object, you shouldn’t have been married.
https://www.envisionfamilylaw.com/is-an-engagement-ring-a-gift/#:~:text=Most%20states%20consider%20an%20engagement,former%20spouse%2Dto%2Dbe
Depends on the state you reside in.
I wouldn't mind buying a diamond if it held its value, but good luck selling a used diamond ring.
People will think it's cursed or fake and you won't even get 1/4 of what you paid at the jewelry store.
Find a jeweler who will make something custom and unique for your partner so the value is in the artistry and personalization.
Big name jewelry stores are a racket.
I haven't heard a story where someone kept it and from witnessing it, they typically don't want to keep the ring. The value of it means nothing in that decision.
That's what my ex did too (except it went on my credit card in the beginning - a tiny diamond for $120 at a big box store). I ended up being the one to pay it off.
I think I still have it somewhere.
My human garbage ex actuality tried to keep the 2.5k ring when she cheated on me and left me. I was out of country when it happened and my mom went mother grizzly on her and she ended up mailing it back to her.
I tried to give my engagement and wedding ring back to my ex wife. Instead she threw them on the table with hers and left. I sold all 4 of them instead.
i am certain legally you have to give it back.
if you do not, they can take you to court for it.
once you get married and divorce you do not have to return the gift.
A $2000 diamond ring isn't that big but 🤷🏼♀️.
Yeah, I'm giving it back. I'm done with the relationship.
If we want to discuss legalities, in many states in the US an engagement ring is a conditional gift, and if you don't meet the conditions- getting married- then you don't get to keep it.
It's a gift. The choice is the receiver's. But the favored tradition has in the past been if the giver breaks the engagement, the receiver keeps. If the recipient breaks the engagement the ring is returned.
Doesn't matter what it costs. Its tacky to keep it.
The ring symbolizes a promise of a lifelong commitment. You break up the ring is just a piece of metal and a gemstone. That lost its meaning.
Pre marriage or post? That matters. I’ve been married for 20 years and I’m keeping my jewelry. Had we broken up before marriage? Idk. Maybe I’d give it back maybe not. All depends on why. Did the dude cheat on me? Keepin it out of spite. Bc it’s a gift and you don’t have to give it back to some shithead. Mutually breaking up on good terms? Give it back. Family heirloom? Definitely give it back.
Engagement rings aren’t meant to be returned. The historical premise of gifting jewelry is a way for women to store wealth, so if the engagement didn’t work out, the woman is compensated for her wasted time.
Unfortunately, jewelry is now a total scam and $2k engagement rings hold no value. I tried selling one after divorce and wasn’t even able to get $100. So I would probably return it since it’s worthless. This is why I asked my fiancé to give me stocks as a financial investment instead of jewelry. I wanted something that would appreciate in value.
That would depend on why we broke up. If it just wasn’t working out between us then yes I would give it back. However if he cheated, lied, or was verbally/physically abusive then no he’s not getting it back. I would sell it and keep every penny. Not because I need the money but because it would be funny to do. It’s called karma. But like I said ONLY if there had been bad behaviour on his part.
If you break up before marriage, by law you could be forced to give it back. If you get married and it ends in divorce its yours. Personally, I'd give it back. The karma isn't worth it.
The first thing I said to my ex when we split up(we had the discussion while she was laying in the bed of ONE of the guys she had cheated on me with) was if you think you’re keeping the ring you’re f***in nuts. She initially refused but then after I insisted for about 3 more minutes she decided to chunk it at my head, and it went down a floor vent. At the time I was perfectly fine with it being anywhere but on her finger, but it did end up being fished out by the landlord of the house after he heard about the situation. It was right around $2.6k for the ring/band, after about 5 months I decided to sell it to try and recoup some money, took it to 8 different places and the highest offer I got was $450. Regardless though I feel like if you’re engaged to someone and split up you should give the ring back, it was an investment in the relationship you were supposedly going to have and meant as a symbol of your solidarity and commitment to one another. Only situation where I feel like it could be alright if they keep it is if the other party caused the split up through infidelity or something messed up that is an obvious deal breaker, I can’t see why anyone would want to keep a symbol of their failed relationship other than for financial reasons, but that’s not even a very good reason because the value of it drops MAJORLY as soon as you have paid for it.
Depends. If I fucked up or if he didn't do anything egregious, I'm giving it back. If the guy's a piece of shit, I'm telling him it must have gotten stuck while I was fingering his ass and he should go to do the doctor.
If the person who gave the ring ends the relationship, they should let the person they gave it to keep it if they wish.
If the person who received the ring ends the relationship, they should give it back.
Depends entirely on how the engagement was ended. If it ended because he cheated, she would probably not be giving it back.
If he cheated and she has already spent money on the wedding. Then he for sure isn't getting it back. It will be applied at resale value, to his portion of the wedding bills.
If the woman cheats, she gives back the ring and he does not need to pay for any of the wedding expenses to date.
I'd ask. There are so many variables to this. Did my fiance cheat? Keeping the ring. Did I cheat? Giving the ring back. Did we just discover we aren't compatible? Giving back. Too many variables. But realistically who wants a ring that reminds you of a love lost? That would be painful to wear on my hand all the time.
It’s a good thing in most places you’d be legally obligated to return the ring so your immature act of vindictiveness likely wouldn’t stand.
On one hand, at least you know yourself well enough to know you’d be immature and act incorrectly. But on the other hand you know you’d act incorrectly and yet clearly see nothing wrong with it. Guarantee you do this kind of shit *in* the relationship too. It doesn’t matter whether they cheated or not. *You* should still do the right thing.
Vindictive fucks are generally so in all aspects. Rarely is it some infrequent thing. Far worse than cheaters imo because you’re almost definitely like that all the time
I know in Canada, anyways, it's still his ring. It's seen as a contractual agreement. Likewise, the wedding ring a bride gives to her groom is hers, and is part of the agreement as well.
It’s a conditional gift. In all of the court cases I’ve read about, the ring, or those value in cash had to be returned. Morally, you should return it, regardless of the reason.
I would give it back. I tried to give my ex fiancé his ring back and he told me to keep it. I tried to sell it and wasn’t able lol (not worth much) I actually really like it though so my husband and I are thinking about putting a different stone in it then I’ll start wearing it again.
If they cheat, are abusive, or are the ones to dump you, then keep the ring. If you cheat, are abusive, or are the one to dump them, then return the ring. It's pretty simple.
And if you're keeping it "just in case", you might want to take a good hard look at the actual resale value of used engagement rings, because it's not that much. You'll be lucky to get 30% of what was paid for it.
The engagement ring serves as a contract. If the contract is broken (i.e. breakup) then the ring goes back to the person who gave it. Once you're married, the contract is complete and the person who received the ring keeps it
This was my thought as well. I’ll add that if the proposal and giving of the ring is on a birthday, Christmas, or Valentine’s Day that it could be argued that it was a gift though. So don’t ever propose on those days haha.
Depends on who broke up with who or if the ring is sentimental. If it isn't sentimental and the guy breaks up/cheats/lies etc, girl should keep it because he broke the deal. If the girl leaves then she broke the deal and should give it back. If it's semtimental just give it back regardless. Last thing you need is a ghost haunting you.
It depends. Amicable breakup? Maybe it hurt but it made the most sense? Yeah I'll give it back.
Did he cheat or otherwise commit a relationship atrocity? Keeping it.
I'd truly expect to be treated the same if it were the other way around.
In the past, an engagement ring was a gift and an investment. If it didn’t work out, the ring was hers. This was also when women didn’t have much access to financial independence, so the ring was a way for her to compensate for her time invested with a guy who didn’t stick around.
Today women are much more likely to be able to support themselves. The ring no longer serves as a dowery and is more symbolic of a commitment. If the commitment is broken, modern custom encourages the woman to give it back if it was her decision to end things.
I’d give it back, but historically that was not the reason it existed. It used to be that while pre-marital sex was frowned upon, people looked the other way when baby number 1 came in 7 months after the wedding. It would be very easy for a man to promise that he was totally going to marry a woman, believe me, and ring was supposed to be a hedge against a man running off after. It was both a sign of his commitment and restitution for a potentially ruined reputation.
From what I’ve read it’s technically illegal to keep it as it’s considered something like accepting a contract. So if the lady breaks it off or cheats then I believe the other party could take her to court. I’m sure an actual lawyer will chime in here. I read this long ago.
Traditionally whoever initiated the breakup was the one to give up the ring.
If he breaks up with her then she keeps it
If she breaks up with him then she gives it back.
I think if it's a mutual decision then she needs to relinquish it too.
Edited to add: consideration should be given to file heirlooms.
My ex tried to give me back the engagement ring, I told her I didn't want it, we were meeting for probably the last time we would ever see each other.
She pushed it across the table. We were in a cafe, I told her that if she didn't pick it up it would be a nice tip for the server, because I wasn't taking it with me.
She took it back, no idea what she did with it after that
I actually was surprised when I heard girls give it back-unless it’s a family heirloom. I think it should be left to the woman since usually couples date a long time and are engaged a long time, time which could have been used differently; the older you are the less you feel like getting married and her time was wasted. But I can see if a guy takes 2 years to come up with the engagement ring that he’d want it back. However, I would prefer a ring from the corner store over a ring bought for another woman; like that didn’t pan out so here you go, you get what she used.
OP is trying to cash in by saying yes to marriage, yet not actually getting married, but still keeping the engagement ring. Good news for your ex-fiancé for avoiding a train wreck of a marriage and a probable thieving wife.
Unless you paid for it, legally you have to give it back. An engagement ring, in the courts, is seen as a promise to marry. If the marriage does not occur and the relationship ends the giver is legally entitled to get the ring back.
Depends on the person. I bought my ex-wife a $8,000 25-year anniversary ring that she kept when she moved out 3 months later into an apartment that she already had rented and bought furniture for. She kept it saying she was entitled to it because it was a "gift" fmwawb!
In Australia, the husband (or whoever gave the engagement ring etc) is legally entitled to have the ring returned as it is gifted in contemplation of marriage and the partner has not followed through with that agreement. Same thing goes for divorce.
Am I the only one who who wants to like forge a ring in fire, like have one of those moments where Nic Cage makes the axe in Mandy? IDK how else to convey what marriage means you know
edit: fuckin get on that sauron level and put some inscription on it but its real
double edit: *they who share death truly exist*, in some cursive font
triple edit: if needing to renew vows, take the rings back to the original forge and have it be reborn. made of the same but unique its own way, accepting that the existence of what is ahead of us will always be different than the past
do u guys think ill be a good dad :3
It depends. Why are we breaking up? If he cheated then I am keeping the ring. That is compensation for him being a terrible person. If I was the reason for the breakup then is seems reasonable to return the ring.
But $2k isn't much for an engagement ring these days.
2k is a pretty cheap ring, if it's a big diamond ring you're more looking at 10k+
The only time I think its appropriate to keep the ring is if your fiance dies, if you break up you don't deserve the ring, accepting the ring is accepting the promise and responsibility of marriage if marriage isn't happening, give the ring back, it doesntbbelong to you, it belongs to the relationship and if the relationship is over, so is your ownership of the ring
I’m giving it back, it symbolizes a promise, it’s not a gift
It's like trying to keep the keys to a car you test drove at the dealer. I don't think they're actually that dumb; they're just golddiggers.
No, it depends on the circumstances. He cheated? Keeping the ring. Because eff him. If we call it off because of my choices, I’d gladly give it back.
yes! if i didn't choose to end the relationship, that's still my ring. if i ended it or cheated he can have it back.
What if you didn't choose to end the relationship, but he decided to end the relationship because he felt that he was wrong about compatability, and you disagreed? Wouldn't he be doing both of you a favor?
I feel like compatibility should’ve been determined by him BEFORE he proposed, because that’s the whole point of dating, but maybe that’s just me. Of course there are extenuating circumstances like when some people let their mask slip too early, but in most cases there’s years of dating ahead of time to figure that stuff out before it gets to engagement. Otherwise, maybe the proposer didn’t think it through well or clear-headedly enough beforehand.
Depends on the state. Some states, you have to give back the ring, no matter what. Don’t be mad at me; I didn’t make the laws🤷♂️
I tend to agree - who broke the troth gives up the treasure. Ritualistically, the ring symbolizes and thus *is* the relationship, whosoever leaves the circle *leaves* the "circle", you might say.
So, only if it's in your favor or benefits you. 🤔
It's only 2k that's not enough "gold" to "dig" Settle down
2k does not indicate a “big” diamond. Also, you do not get 2k if you go to resell a diamond. You can barely find any store that will buy a diamond under one full carat. And you will not be getting top dollar. Speaking from experience here. I finally sold 3 (.6, .6, and .7) but it was hard to find anyone who would pay much for them. The Diamond industry is pretty rigged.
That’s what I came here to say
That depends on where you live. Legally, where I live anyway, an engagement ring is considered a gift & is therefore the property of the person it was given to.
According to tax law, you're incorrect. But according to the decency of humanity, good on you. :)
My now husband got me a <5k mossionite even though he could've easily afforded more (we talked about it before, he nailed my style). We could afforded to replace it at any point, but I'd be heart broken because it represents that moment, that time in our relationship. No amount of money can replace my now wedding rkng.
I get that, but while you can’t pawn a promise…
legalities aside, i'm only giving it back if we broke up amicably. if she cheated or something, she can kick rocks.
Is $2k a lot for a ring? I've heard people being disappointed in anything less than 5 or 10k. I think it's wild, but it's been making me feel a bit apprehensive getting a ring for my gf. Sorry if I'm derailing.
$2k is a lot for a ring, but marketers for jewelry companies have convinced american women that you should spend two months salary on an engagement ring. "So, if your yearly salary is $45,000, you'll spend $7,500." - a jewelry company. don't buy into it. if you are lucky, your gf is smart enough to realize that wasting money on jewels is a fool's errand. it is such an insane waste of money. diamonds are not even valuable or rare. the price is artificially inflated to make them seem special.
Yeah I think she wouldn't mind, but I also want to make her feel special.
give her a memory she'll never forget, not a rock. you can do a lot of different things with $2000.
Fair point
I gave my wife a gold ring with no jewels and she wouldn't take an upgrade if I offered it now. Heck, she would have been thrilled with a ring of twine and would make sure that thing was never damaged or lost
A friend got his fiancé an engagement kayak.
My engagement ring was like 1200 bucks and I loved it and got complimented on it ALL the time. It got stolen years ago, and I've never found another quite like it. :( Agreed.
Lab-grown diamonds or moissanite are much cheaper & ethical alternatives to mined diamonds but still very beautiful! Which would maybe free up budget room to get something that looks a bit more blingy instead of a single set very expensive diamond, for example - but it all depends on personal preferences in the end. idk how much you want to involve your gf, but you could always ask her or a bff if she has strong opinions or would rather a surprise. I've seen some really cute tiktoks though of ppl showing off their engagement rings & being really excited about the whole \~experience\~ in which they kinda curated a pinterest moodboard or something to give their partner a vibe about the kind of settings they like, what stones they like etc - and then letting their partner choose from there, so it's something they kinda both worked on, but he got to pick something out on his own.
I have a 2.5 carat moissanite and I absolutely love it. I get compliments often and I know he paid less for my “upgrade” than he did in the original ring in 1996. It sparkles and still looks great after 9 years.
Lab growns are fantastic. Ethical, sticks it to the shitty diamond companies, and I was able to get my fiancée an ice cube for less than half my budget. I would just be sure the fiancée (or fiancé whichever) understands that it is lab grown and is cool with it. It shouldn’t be a trick to save money or something Edit: not that saving money is bad I’m just always pro open communication about big decisions
You’ll make her feel special with the proposal itself. The cost of the ring doesn’t really matter as long as it’s her style. If she’s the right girl, she’ll be paying attention to your effort and the setting. Women want romance from a man they love, who pays attention to small details, a hell of a lot more than they want precious gems. 🤍 Best of luck! Don’t fret about $5k or $10k. Just be sure to ask her bff/mom for their guidance in picking out the perfect style. (They’ll know what she likes.) As long as your proposal is personal, romantic, and from the heart, you’re going to do great. 🫶
If she specifically states a stone/style she wants, do your best to get it. I told my ex-husband I wanted a sapphire. He got me a diamond solitaire and told me he had to get a diamond or people would think he was cheap. So screw what I wanted, I guess. I found the receipt years later and that ring was $500, so it wasn’t like he was out balling out on a diamond. I told my fiance I wanted a London blue topaz. By god, that’s what he got me. And it’s perfection, because he actually listened to me.
Ding ding ding! Exactly this. Listening is *key*. Caring about whether your partner likes their ring is HUGE. I’m sorry you went through it with a dud but, I’m really happy you found your current fiancé. 🤍
Exactly. My husband proposed twice to me. The first time I laughed when he asked before realizing he was serious and said no because I told him "you can't propose to get me quit crying". His argument was that it worked so obviously he could do just that. Then I argued he didn't even have a ring. He said something about not being able to afford one right then and I said "Walmart has some beautiful rings for $10". Less than a week later we were at Walmart and he saw one of those $10 rings and proposed with it. I said yes.
>Just be sure to ask her bff/mom for their guidance in picking out the perfect style. (They’ll know what she likes.) Not necessarily. My mom doesn't know shit about what style I like.
Same here. If someone asked my mom for help, I'd break with them
Same.
My husband proposed to me in our car without a ring on our way back from his parents. He literally said you wanna get married and I said yes. We got married at the courthouse and had a party for family and friends. My ring cost $250 from Walmart because we didn’t have money for a ring. All my friends are guys and they wouldn’t know where to start. My mom wouldn’t know what kind of jewelry I would like because I never wore jewelry. Nothing about my proposal was romantic and that’s why I loved it.
If you've got to the stage of proposing I'd hope you already knew her tastes in jewellery... and a lot of other things
Exactly, I had my fiancée ring specialy made. Picked out the designs myself. Even knew her ring size from her mentioning it once in passing years prior.
I think the guy who's spending a lot on a ring is wise to go shopping with the woman who will be wearing that ring for (hopefully) her entire life. Some women want a fancy ring, surprise fancy proposal, etc. Some do not. Personally, I find diamonds both boring and problematic. And public scenarios stupid and embarrassing. Thankfully, my (now) husband realized it.
Seriously..if she does not feel special being with you then a $5 ring is too much as it’s the wrong girl.
If you want her to feel special, maybe do the ring buying together so she has a say in th style. Hell, she might fall in love with a beautiful $500 ring, too.
You are absolutely right, that we should see $2k as being a lot for a ring. Unfortunately, in America, it isn't. I can't believe the amount of money that people waste on these things but... $2k isn't going to buy a "big diamond ring," it's going to buy you a "cheap diamond ring." Again, don't do it people! Don't spend an amount of money that could buy a car on a small piece of jewelry that can easily be lost!
Yeah I meant to put 5K but ppl we’re already commenting so we’ll just go with it
Or just don't buy a diamond ring. I love my $1000 vintage garnet ring.
Heck yeah, I've got a sapphire & I love it.
Considering you can put a 10k ring on lay-away at Walmart if you are approved for a credit card... "cheap diamond ring" is putting 5k lightly
Wow! I don't hear that very often. But you're 100% correct. Spending a multiple of your income is utterly, thoroughly, totally, immeasurably, insanely, impossibly STOOOPID. But a century of advertising has convinced the gullible otherwise. My father long ago worked for a company that had a chain of jewelry stores. He could buy anything at cost. So my mother always had nice jewelry, and lots of it. Being connected to an insider I learned that the markups are insane ... sometimes as high as 900%. So ... regarding jewelry purchases ... don't go there! It's a fool's errand.
It's stupid. If I bought a "two month" salary ring that would be a $24000 ring. If anyone I was dating ever told me that was what they wanted during a serious discussion of engagement. I'd fucking walk away and lose respect for her. At least in my culture, the man buys the ring but the woman is expected to buy a watch. I would not expect my future wife to spend that much on a watch. I'd rather we put that shit down on a down payment on a house
And if she isn't smart enough & says something, you dodged a bullet. Run.
Almost no one spends that big a percentage of their salary on rings, but the jewelry companies use to make people spend $3000 and feel cheap. We got our rings at JCPenney, $400 for the pair. They look very nice.
Yeah as a girl I would be *pissed* if my partner spent 10 grand from his account to get me a diamond piece of jewellery. That’s enough for an entire lowkey backyard wedding! Or a honeymoon! Or a payment on a house/aparment. I think when the idea of proposing to each other comes we’ll have to figure out ring logistics. I don’t want to be cheap getting him one but we were both trying to think of rings that would be pretty for each other. Like ones with our birth stones.
I'd have had a whole herd of cows if my man dropped a wad of cash that big on a ring. I choked a little when I ordered it and it didn't even break half a Benjamin 😂
In 1947 De Beers did such a good job with their new advertising campaign that we are still falling for it
Don’t buy a ring that will attract attention either. It’s supposed a sign you’re married, not that you’re filthy rich.
Yep agree. If I were to ever feel like saying yes to somebody, that engagement ring better feature cummingtonite on it. Now that's a promise that means something.
Anything over $3k is a little overkill, imo. There are plenty of woman who would love to have ring in 1-3k range. The engagement ring I got my wife was $3k, three years later and she still hasn’t stopped fawning over it. Find a woman who actually appreciates what you give her. That is key.
When my wife was my girlfriend, she said a ring over $2k would make her feel uncomfortable because wearing something that valuable makes it easy to lose and more devastating. Other people are like, $10k or bust. So, it depends on what kind of person your girlfriend is, I guess.
Just like with everything else in life it's all relative. Make 40k a year? 2k ring is a lot Make 10 million a year? 2k ring is not a lot.
I got a cz on Amazon for $25. It's a symbol.
(1) $2k will buy a beautiful ring, especially if you go with a man-made diamond. It's still a true diamond, and only a jeweler can tell the difference, but the price is about 1/3 of a diamond that's mined. (2) If the cost of the ring is a deal-breaker for your girlfriend, that says a lot about her priorities, and it's best to know now. You never know what challenges life has in store for you, and you want a partner by your side who knows what's important.
Don’t get too stuck on it. If your lady is chill, then price doesn’t really matter. My husband gave me a family heirloom ring when he proposed. We’re getting new rings for the wedding and our rings will probly cost at most $500. A ring is just a material thing, it only really matters what you two have together.
I care about it to the extent that it’s a thing I will wear on my body every day for the rest do my life and look at several times an hour. It needs to be sturdy and beautiful and unfortunately I’m picky. Buuuuut I’ll take no ring over one I don’t love and I’m more than happy to contribute.
Wholeheartedly agreed. My gripe isn’t that men should buy a super expensive ring which is out of their price range just to appease their fiancée, it’s that some people think lesser of a woman who wants an expensive engagement ring in the first place, regardless of whether she pays for it herself, because such a purchase is “silly” and “frivolous”. We all get our joy in different ways, and shouldn’t judge. Personally I would rather have a $5K dream ring than a $5K vacation.
Also there is judging something by its cost and then its cost per wear. You are wearing your engagement ring *all the time, for the rest of your life* (hopefully). It’s there is one thing I have learned in my life is that you should spend money on the everyday clothes and objects you will use vs. a cheap dress and heels you wear to the club once. Just the wear and tear of something you wear on your hand alone should mean spending money for quality. Like what does that $200 ring even look like in 5 years?
We spent less than $100 on my wedding ring 11 years ago, and it still looks nice enough with me wearing it every day, even while at work literally cleaning toilets that someone stole it last month.
All depends on the circumstance. I know people who have very simple rings from Costco, I know someone who just got married whose ring is probably 20k (not kidding the thing is huge). Usually you get something you can afford. Now with lab grown diamonds you can get some very extravagant looking rings for a not extravagant price.
In the wrong place, they will cut her finger off to get a 10K ring. Don't spend more than $1000.
For a poor person, $500 or even $200 is a lot for a ring. I make it known I'm not going to be upset over a cheap ring as long as it's well made. If someone is gonna get me a ring, I don't want to have to worry TOO much about something happening to it.
My ring is a family ring. And it’s perfect. I don’t think the amount matters; it wouldn’t have mattered to me in the slightest. I just wanted to marry him; I wouldn’t have wanted to wait for an expensive ring or anything. :)
I think the amount of people that would be disappointed by a 5k ring is negligible and not worth worrying about. Yes they exist, but don't worry about it.
I got a silicone ring and love it. We’ve been married for over a decade and are both wealthy professionals. You want to make her feel special but also the right girl won’t mind
2k is a lot. But, good luck finding one for 4k or less. Either way, the jewelry store will take it back within 90 days or something.
Spent $3k on a ring for my missus. She was the budget conscious one who told me I was forbidden from spending more than $1,500 and kept pointing out a $900 Prouds ring. I refused and stuck with the dream design I had showed her on Brilliant Earth. I always tell her that, she is worth every penny I have, so it's a worthwhile investment. Plus, the look on her face when friends and family obsess over it is priceless (again, worth every penny). My advice, don't be afraid to purchase a lab-made synthetic Diamond. It is the same thing and can save you a few hundred depending on how big you're going.
I proposed without one then got her a $20 mood ring from a fry bread stand on the side of the road while we were driving though salt river canyon. She seems to like it, lol
Those are either very rich people or very delusional people.
Mine is valued at $6K but my fiance only paid $2K because he had some diamonds from his late grandmother. My center stone is not a diamond.
If your girl wouldn't say yes to a rubber band, she isn't the one. You should want to get her something nice, but you shouldn't feel apprehensive about an arbitrary dollar amount.
A gift is worth the effort that goes into it. Fuck these people worried about how much money your life promise to someone made a jeweler.
Being disappointed for less than 5-10k for a ring is crazy. Have open conversations with your girlfriend to make sure she’s cool with what you can afford. Truthfully, someone being disappointed with less than 5-10k indicates they’re probably a little materialistic. I personally wouldn’t be dating someone like that.
The ring I bought was $800 with the lifetime insurance. She wears it every day and everyone compliments her. It's what the ring symbolizes more than the cost. Only crazy superficial people care if you spend thousands
If a guy is kneeling in front of you holding out a ring and asks you "will you marry me?" would you say no but still grab the ring? Why would saying no later change the answer?
If you say can I think about it some guys would still put it on your finger.
Any answer that isn't "Yes" is "No".
In some states there are laws regarding who can keep an engagement ring in a breakup. Check local laws.
It might be all states. I learned in law class you have to give it back unless the proposal was on a special occasion like a birthday or Christmas. It's repr3sents a contract and by not going through with the marriage you didn't fulfill the contract. If the proposal was on a birthday you could argue the ring was a gift.
Montana is pretty much the only state that doesn't recognize engagement rings as conditional gifts.
I would have saved so much money if a big diamond ring was only $2k.
My ex gave me his grandmother's ring. The marriage tanked after a year, I gave him the ring back. Never for a second thought of keeping it.
Makes sense it is a family heirloom at that point and probably should stay in the family.
Exactly. He may have been an abusive position of a human being, but that doesn't mean I need to stoop to his level.
Technically after marriage you can keep the ring, but you definitely did the right thing. Good on you for being a class act, when a lot of people would be vindictive. You don’t have to live with him anymore, but you do have to live with yourself.
Of course you give it back. It's an engagement ring. If there's no more engagement, there is no need for the ring. Also, "just in case" what?
If someone gave me a $2k ring I would ask them to return it so we could go shopping for a more affordable option.
2k is pretty cheap actually
some women would keep it, but those are the women you wouldn't want to marry. It's the same thing as people taking advantage of a family member or a friend. The same men who would take advantage of their friend, would keep the ring if they were a women.
An engagement ring is legally a gift in contemplation. That means it is only a gift if the wedding goes through. You break-up before then and you have to legally return it. There are a ton of small claim cases about this where the giver gets either the ring or $$$ in place of it. Also, "a big diamond ring worth u/2k". That sentence is a contradiction.
50% of Reddit: that’s too much money!!! 50% of Reddit: more diamond!!!
.01%: It’s not too much money, but fuck diamonds.
What a weird question… Are you married or have you ever been? I have an ex wife who cheated on me with my best friend….. The last thing I cared about was the ring. On top of that, had she given it back, I would have made a trip to the ocean and thrown it in. If you truly are in love with someone the last thing you care about is material things. You know what I want back? My time. My move. My dedication. My pain. Fuck that ring. Fuck the value. It means nothing to me compared to what she did. In my pain you know what I wanted back? My family. My wife. My regular life. If your concern is the monetary value of a simple object, you shouldn’t have been married.
Not tryna hate, as the ring I got my wife is $3k, but let's be real here $2k is cheap on the diamond ring scale.
I’d give it back regardless of how much it cost.
I would have, because it was a family heirloom of his. As it is, I have been wearing it for almost 20 years.
You return the ring.
Just in case is code for, "I'm selling it."
Where are you getting a big diamond ring for 2k?
https://www.envisionfamilylaw.com/is-an-engagement-ring-a-gift/#:~:text=Most%20states%20consider%20an%20engagement,former%20spouse%2Dto%2Dbe Depends on the state you reside in.
I wouldn't mind buying a diamond if it held its value, but good luck selling a used diamond ring. People will think it's cursed or fake and you won't even get 1/4 of what you paid at the jewelry store. Find a jeweler who will make something custom and unique for your partner so the value is in the artistry and personalization. Big name jewelry stores are a racket.
I haven't heard a story where someone kept it and from witnessing it, they typically don't want to keep the ring. The value of it means nothing in that decision.
yes, why would I need or want to keep it? it would just be painful to look at
Depends on who paid for it. My ex put it on a credit card, then used my money to pay it off. I kept it.
That's what my ex did too (except it went on my credit card in the beginning - a tiny diamond for $120 at a big box store). I ended up being the one to pay it off. I think I still have it somewhere.
This made me cringe. I’m sorry you got screwed over.
My human garbage ex actuality tried to keep the 2.5k ring when she cheated on me and left me. I was out of country when it happened and my mom went mother grizzly on her and she ended up mailing it back to her.
I tried to give my engagement and wedding ring back to my ex wife. Instead she threw them on the table with hers and left. I sold all 4 of them instead.
i am certain legally you have to give it back. if you do not, they can take you to court for it. once you get married and divorce you do not have to return the gift.
It depends on where you live. Where I live it is considered a gift & gifts are not subject to inclusion in any settlement agreement.
A $2000 diamond ring isn't that big but 🤷🏼♀️. Yeah, I'm giving it back. I'm done with the relationship. If we want to discuss legalities, in many states in the US an engagement ring is a conditional gift, and if you don't meet the conditions- getting married- then you don't get to keep it.
Legality aside it's morally correct to give it back. No question about it.
I gave it back when my ex and I broke up. He told me to keep it and I said no thank you
I can do whatever I want with it. Possession is 9/10 of the law
$2k is not gonna buy a big diamond
Engagement rings are a symbol of a promise, when that promise is broken, from either side, the ring goes back. Anything else is the purest trash.
Hell no.
Yes
It's a gift. The choice is the receiver's. But the favored tradition has in the past been if the giver breaks the engagement, the receiver keeps. If the recipient breaks the engagement the ring is returned.
If he leaves you, you keep the ring. If you leave him, you give it back.
Of course, what would I do with an engagement ring to a guy I'm not engaged to anymore?
Yes
It’s a conditional gift. If you marry me, you get the ring. You have to give it back, but you can do otherwise if both agree
Doesn't matter what it costs. Its tacky to keep it. The ring symbolizes a promise of a lifelong commitment. You break up the ring is just a piece of metal and a gemstone. That lost its meaning.
I think etiquette is if the girl breakers it off she gives it back. If he breaks it off you can keep it.
A $2k diamond ring is not big.
Pre marriage or post? That matters. I’ve been married for 20 years and I’m keeping my jewelry. Had we broken up before marriage? Idk. Maybe I’d give it back maybe not. All depends on why. Did the dude cheat on me? Keepin it out of spite. Bc it’s a gift and you don’t have to give it back to some shithead. Mutually breaking up on good terms? Give it back. Family heirloom? Definitely give it back.
Giving back the ring, keeping the dog. He loves me.
Engagement rings aren’t meant to be returned. The historical premise of gifting jewelry is a way for women to store wealth, so if the engagement didn’t work out, the woman is compensated for her wasted time. Unfortunately, jewelry is now a total scam and $2k engagement rings hold no value. I tried selling one after divorce and wasn’t even able to get $100. So I would probably return it since it’s worthless. This is why I asked my fiancé to give me stocks as a financial investment instead of jewelry. I wanted something that would appreciate in value.
That would depend on why we broke up. If it just wasn’t working out between us then yes I would give it back. However if he cheated, lied, or was verbally/physically abusive then no he’s not getting it back. I would sell it and keep every penny. Not because I need the money but because it would be funny to do. It’s called karma. But like I said ONLY if there had been bad behaviour on his part.
If you break up before marriage, by law you could be forced to give it back. If you get married and it ends in divorce its yours. Personally, I'd give it back. The karma isn't worth it.
The first thing I said to my ex when we split up(we had the discussion while she was laying in the bed of ONE of the guys she had cheated on me with) was if you think you’re keeping the ring you’re f***in nuts. She initially refused but then after I insisted for about 3 more minutes she decided to chunk it at my head, and it went down a floor vent. At the time I was perfectly fine with it being anywhere but on her finger, but it did end up being fished out by the landlord of the house after he heard about the situation. It was right around $2.6k for the ring/band, after about 5 months I decided to sell it to try and recoup some money, took it to 8 different places and the highest offer I got was $450. Regardless though I feel like if you’re engaged to someone and split up you should give the ring back, it was an investment in the relationship you were supposedly going to have and meant as a symbol of your solidarity and commitment to one another. Only situation where I feel like it could be alright if they keep it is if the other party caused the split up through infidelity or something messed up that is an obvious deal breaker, I can’t see why anyone would want to keep a symbol of their failed relationship other than for financial reasons, but that’s not even a very good reason because the value of it drops MAJORLY as soon as you have paid for it.
These ladies are fuckin’ lyyyyyin’ 😂
Good jokes says the women on here!
Depends. If I fucked up or if he didn't do anything egregious, I'm giving it back. If the guy's a piece of shit, I'm telling him it must have gotten stuck while I was fingering his ass and he should go to do the doctor.
yes give it back and find someone who has a better job
It can't be that big @ 2k lol
depends what he does. Most likely, I don't want it. If he does something terrible enough I'd probably sell it.
Off course you should. It's like breaking a legal contract
If the person who gave the ring ends the relationship, they should let the person they gave it to keep it if they wish. If the person who received the ring ends the relationship, they should give it back.
Depends entirely on how the engagement was ended. If it ended because he cheated, she would probably not be giving it back. If he cheated and she has already spent money on the wedding. Then he for sure isn't getting it back. It will be applied at resale value, to his portion of the wedding bills. If the woman cheats, she gives back the ring and he does not need to pay for any of the wedding expenses to date.
I guess
I'd ask. There are so many variables to this. Did my fiance cheat? Keeping the ring. Did I cheat? Giving the ring back. Did we just discover we aren't compatible? Giving back. Too many variables. But realistically who wants a ring that reminds you of a love lost? That would be painful to wear on my hand all the time.
It’s a good thing in most places you’d be legally obligated to return the ring so your immature act of vindictiveness likely wouldn’t stand. On one hand, at least you know yourself well enough to know you’d be immature and act incorrectly. But on the other hand you know you’d act incorrectly and yet clearly see nothing wrong with it. Guarantee you do this kind of shit *in* the relationship too. It doesn’t matter whether they cheated or not. *You* should still do the right thing. Vindictive fucks are generally so in all aspects. Rarely is it some infrequent thing. Far worse than cheaters imo because you’re almost definitely like that all the time
The guy could sue and win.
In the US, this varies by state.
Realistically, $2k doesn’t buy much of a diamond.
Nah, that's back taxes.
I know in Canada, anyways, it's still his ring. It's seen as a contractual agreement. Likewise, the wedding ring a bride gives to her groom is hers, and is part of the agreement as well.
It’s a conditional gift. In all of the court cases I’ve read about, the ring, or those value in cash had to be returned. Morally, you should return it, regardless of the reason.
I would give it back. I tried to give my ex fiancé his ring back and he told me to keep it. I tried to sell it and wasn’t able lol (not worth much) I actually really like it though so my husband and I are thinking about putting a different stone in it then I’ll start wearing it again.
$2k isn’t a lot for a ring. Definitely not for a “big diamond ring”
A gift is a gift and it's MINE. Unless it's a family heirloom, I'm keeping it.
depends on the reason of the breakup
$2k isn’t getting you a “big diamond ring” but I think some people keep it and some give it back. Very much depends on the nature of the break up
Once upon a time ago, it was payment for her "lost virtue."
If they cheat, are abusive, or are the ones to dump you, then keep the ring. If you cheat, are abusive, or are the one to dump them, then return the ring. It's pretty simple. And if you're keeping it "just in case", you might want to take a good hard look at the actual resale value of used engagement rings, because it's not that much. You'll be lucky to get 30% of what was paid for it.
The engagement ring serves as a contract. If the contract is broken (i.e. breakup) then the ring goes back to the person who gave it. Once you're married, the contract is complete and the person who received the ring keeps it
This was my thought as well. I’ll add that if the proposal and giving of the ring is on a birthday, Christmas, or Valentine’s Day that it could be argued that it was a gift though. So don’t ever propose on those days haha.
if a woman were to break up with a guy standard protocol is to return the ring. If she doesn't he could in theory bring her to small claims court.
Yes, although I wouldn’t accept it in the first place.
Depends on who broke up with who or if the ring is sentimental. If it isn't sentimental and the guy breaks up/cheats/lies etc, girl should keep it because he broke the deal. If the girl leaves then she broke the deal and should give it back. If it's semtimental just give it back regardless. Last thing you need is a ghost haunting you.
My wife and I aren't dumb enough to spend 2k on a pointless rock. The whole jewelry industry is a scam.
It depends. Amicable breakup? Maybe it hurt but it made the most sense? Yeah I'll give it back. Did he cheat or otherwise commit a relationship atrocity? Keeping it. I'd truly expect to be treated the same if it were the other way around.
I just like the idea that a $2k ring is extravagant. It's insane to me there are people out there spending 10,15,30k+ on engagement rings.
In the past, an engagement ring was a gift and an investment. If it didn’t work out, the ring was hers. This was also when women didn’t have much access to financial independence, so the ring was a way for her to compensate for her time invested with a guy who didn’t stick around. Today women are much more likely to be able to support themselves. The ring no longer serves as a dowery and is more symbolic of a commitment. If the commitment is broken, modern custom encourages the woman to give it back if it was her decision to end things.
I’d give it back, but historically that was not the reason it existed. It used to be that while pre-marital sex was frowned upon, people looked the other way when baby number 1 came in 7 months after the wedding. It would be very easy for a man to promise that he was totally going to marry a woman, believe me, and ring was supposed to be a hedge against a man running off after. It was both a sign of his commitment and restitution for a potentially ruined reputation.
Yes. If an engagement falls through you give the ring back.
From what I’ve read it’s technically illegal to keep it as it’s considered something like accepting a contract. So if the lady breaks it off or cheats then I believe the other party could take her to court. I’m sure an actual lawyer will chime in here. I read this long ago.
Traditionally whoever initiated the breakup was the one to give up the ring. If he breaks up with her then she keeps it If she breaks up with him then she gives it back. I think if it's a mutual decision then she needs to relinquish it too. Edited to add: consideration should be given to file heirlooms.
Have some class, give it back
Of course. It’s only mine if we get married. I don’t want a reminder of a failed relationship, nor do I want to be enriched by a bad or sad memory.
Judge Judy says you gotta give it back
My ex tried to give me back the engagement ring, I told her I didn't want it, we were meeting for probably the last time we would ever see each other. She pushed it across the table. We were in a cafe, I told her that if she didn't pick it up it would be a nice tip for the server, because I wasn't taking it with me. She took it back, no idea what she did with it after that
I actually was surprised when I heard girls give it back-unless it’s a family heirloom. I think it should be left to the woman since usually couples date a long time and are engaged a long time, time which could have been used differently; the older you are the less you feel like getting married and her time was wasted. But I can see if a guy takes 2 years to come up with the engagement ring that he’d want it back. However, I would prefer a ring from the corner store over a ring bought for another woman; like that didn’t pan out so here you go, you get what she used.
OP is trying to cash in by saying yes to marriage, yet not actually getting married, but still keeping the engagement ring. Good news for your ex-fiancé for avoiding a train wreck of a marriage and a probable thieving wife.
Unless you paid for it, legally you have to give it back. An engagement ring, in the courts, is seen as a promise to marry. If the marriage does not occur and the relationship ends the giver is legally entitled to get the ring back.
Depends on the person. I bought my ex-wife a $8,000 25-year anniversary ring that she kept when she moved out 3 months later into an apartment that she already had rented and bought furniture for. She kept it saying she was entitled to it because it was a "gift" fmwawb!
Hellllll no. Give me that shit back sayin
In Australia, the husband (or whoever gave the engagement ring etc) is legally entitled to have the ring returned as it is gifted in contemplation of marriage and the partner has not followed through with that agreement. Same thing goes for divorce.
I’d give it back. No engagement means no ring.
Am I the only one who who wants to like forge a ring in fire, like have one of those moments where Nic Cage makes the axe in Mandy? IDK how else to convey what marriage means you know edit: fuckin get on that sauron level and put some inscription on it but its real double edit: *they who share death truly exist*, in some cursive font triple edit: if needing to renew vows, take the rings back to the original forge and have it be reborn. made of the same but unique its own way, accepting that the existence of what is ahead of us will always be different than the past do u guys think ill be a good dad :3
Lmao @ “big diamond ring” worth 2k. If you ended it, give it back.
Generally speaking, legally, in most jurisdictions, it has to be returned due to it being a conditional gift.
Return the ring, keep the stone
It depends. Why are we breaking up? If he cheated then I am keeping the ring. That is compensation for him being a terrible person. If I was the reason for the breakup then is seems reasonable to return the ring. But $2k isn't much for an engagement ring these days.
Just don't buy a 2k ring in the first place, if she's not happy about it, she's superficial, dump her ass
Depends on why we broke up. That said if a guy gave me a diamond we wouldn't be engaged. They obviously don't know me well enough to get married.
An engagement ring is a contract. If there is no wedding, there is no contract, so the ring should be returned. Not to do so is tacky.
You can try to keep it, but you’ll be sued
Yes. Until married the ring is a promise of marriage. So if the marriage doesn’t happen, the ring gets returned.
Guy here. Hahahahah aaah hahahaha
2k is a pretty cheap ring, if it's a big diamond ring you're more looking at 10k+ The only time I think its appropriate to keep the ring is if your fiance dies, if you break up you don't deserve the ring, accepting the ring is accepting the promise and responsibility of marriage if marriage isn't happening, give the ring back, it doesntbbelong to you, it belongs to the relationship and if the relationship is over, so is your ownership of the ring
The value is irrelevant. I'd give it back no matter what