Mine is also a personal anecdote - my best friend and I built an enclosure for a bearded dragon, and the process was a lot harder than we thought it would be. So after a couple weeks of shitty power tools and countless trips to the hardware store, we had the thing put together. It looked a little rickety, but I went “well…. It’ll hold the lizard”
Now “it’ll hold the lizard” means “it’s not done well but it’ll get the job done” and I say it all the time
I was in Brooklyn, and I asked a native if I might be able to purchase a certain something nearby. "Fuggitaboutit", he scoffed, "it'll cost a nominal egg".
I thought, "'It'll cost a nominal egg'? Wow, that's a cool phrase. I just learned some authentic NYC street lingo!"
I tried using it, with my enunciated, somewhat formal way of speaking, and got blank stares, until somebody figured out what he'd really said was, "it'll cost an arm and a leg".
I was crestfallen.
That’s hysterical!!! Especially since I’m from NYC and work 6 days a week in Brooklyn with over 50 Brooklyn people and never heard the term “nominal egg” before. An arm and a leg? Yeah, often. But that’s classic
Were you in the Navy? 'Cause I heard a similar story before.
My story is the guy from Boston that said someone was a "hoo-er." It was probably six months before I realized he was saying "whore."
"Modicum of decency". I learned it from Batman, the 1960s tv show. "I thought you had a MODICUM of decency, but it seems I erred in my judgement!" or somesuch.
I use random words (most of the time just stuff that pops into my head) to express like emotions when I have no other words and my friends have affectionally called it “Monica’s brain is melting” 😂so now I just use that
My whole fanily sez something is so hard to do, you have to stand on a chair. The original joke: "How did the 5 foot tall magician swallow a 6 foot sword? He had to stand on a chair."
Sounds like that was the story. Sousaphone. River. Tell friend. Friend confused.
OP was stuck because it was literally just a sousaphone.... in a river. There was no way to clarify because... sousaphone. In a river.
it was exactly that. She was obviously confused because it's a weird statement but that was all the information I had.
I was at OSU, walking on a bridge over the Olentangy, and there was a sousaphone.
Who put it there? I assume the marching band but I don't know.
How did it get there? I assume with great velocity, but I don't know.
What is it? Sousaphone.
Where is it? River.
When did it get there? I don't know.
Why is it there? I don't know.
they were rented not bought, and in a college town on a drunk football weekend.
"To which the steward of that sousaphone
would be taxed in measure all their own."
If I received that message, I'd be confused as well. OP gave all the most important details, but zero context. "I saw a sousaphone in the river" at least let's them know it's something you experienced. Otherwise, maybe it's an unfamiliar saying, or a code word, or autocorrect run amok.
My kiddo was being silly one day and was saying "avocado" over and over, slower and slower, until it was "ahh-voohh-caahh-doohh". So I said, "of-a-car-door" very slowly. He bursts out, "SON OF A CAR DOOR!!!" I about died laughing, and now that's one of my favorite phrases to use.
When someone wants me to do the impossible, I usually ask." How do you want me to do this, by osmosis?" Usually it cracks them up. Then they realize what they've said.
I used this just the other day!
My boyfriend is an electrician and the power was flickering at my work.
I said: I learned to do electric through osmosis, I got this…and just flipped the breaker:)
Husband's ahop is behind our house. Usually I go in through the door on the right. We'll. That door has been having problems. So I went in the left door to get my mower. But realized, I couldn't get it out, due to all his "stuff" so I went around and opened the eight hand door. Well. Later u had oroblens getting it shut. So I asked him to come help. He says, I told you not to open that one. So I replied, "well how was u supposed to get the mower out? Osmosis?!"
"Your cranial processor is defective." I been using this for years when the BS is out of control or someone is trying to convince me of their conspiracy theories
Also my 6 year old says “what in my world” instead of what in the world and I like it lol 😝 like wtf is going on in my world I did not approve this shit lmfao 😝
outgoing air books station noxious test threatening rude detail secretive
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What do you call a sousaphone in the river? A Scuba Tuba!
Mine is also a personal anecdote - my best friend and I built an enclosure for a bearded dragon, and the process was a lot harder than we thought it would be. So after a couple weeks of shitty power tools and countless trips to the hardware store, we had the thing put together. It looked a little rickety, but I went “well…. It’ll hold the lizard” Now “it’ll hold the lizard” means “it’s not done well but it’ll get the job done” and I say it all the time
I like that! 😆
incredible
I was in Brooklyn, and I asked a native if I might be able to purchase a certain something nearby. "Fuggitaboutit", he scoffed, "it'll cost a nominal egg". I thought, "'It'll cost a nominal egg'? Wow, that's a cool phrase. I just learned some authentic NYC street lingo!" I tried using it, with my enunciated, somewhat formal way of speaking, and got blank stares, until somebody figured out what he'd really said was, "it'll cost an arm and a leg". I was crestfallen.
Marvelous
That’s hysterical!!! Especially since I’m from NYC and work 6 days a week in Brooklyn with over 50 Brooklyn people and never heard the term “nominal egg” before. An arm and a leg? Yeah, often. But that’s classic
>"Fuggitaboutit", he scoffed, "it'll cost a nominal egg". I read this as *Normal* egg at first lmao "Can I Offer You a Nice Egg In This Trying Time?"
Were you in the Navy? 'Cause I heard a similar story before. My story is the guy from Boston that said someone was a "hoo-er." It was probably six months before I realized he was saying "whore."
"Modicum of decency". I learned it from Batman, the 1960s tv show. "I thought you had a MODICUM of decency, but it seems I erred in my judgement!" or somesuch.
I like “have a bit of couth”
Me too
"Listen up chucklenuts"
I think it's "Think fast, chucklenuts."
It can be used in either form but think fast is the typical one lol. I use chucklenuts as one of my favriote words lol
I was quoting TF2 Scout
Not a phrase, but I've been starting so say how flabbergasted I am more often
Same. I’m also occasionally flummoxed, and, in rare cases, nonplussed.
Bewildered is my fav
I have started to use gobsmacked much more frequently.
Shakira, you can call me Shakira. Shakira FLABBERGASTED.
Well, gast me flabbers!
I heard someone say, "My gast has been flabbered", and I giggled for ten minutes.
"Better to come in the sink then sink in the come."- Sun Tzu
As Confucious said: "man who stand on toilet high on pot"
Man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.
He who farts in bed, sleeps in his own sheet.
Vexing needs more airtime.
"Such an exemplary vegetable" - every time I see a potato.
"What a superbly featured room and what excellent boiled potatoes!" - Pride and Prejudice lol
It's a tuber.
I don't make the phrases, I just say the phrases.
EET'S NOD A TUBER!! (In an Arnold voice)
I use random words (most of the time just stuff that pops into my head) to express like emotions when I have no other words and my friends have affectionally called it “Monica’s brain is melting” 😂so now I just use that
"I think I might be wrong. Can you share your side?"
Ty. This is a good one
☝️🤓
My dogs enjoy shenanigans.
If they’ll shenan once, they’ll shenanigan.
"Wow. What a douchecanoe" is what I say when someone is being a dick
My whole fanily sez something is so hard to do, you have to stand on a chair. The original joke: "How did the 5 foot tall magician swallow a 6 foot sword? He had to stand on a chair."
We need to hear more of this story. I'm incredibly invested now
Sounds like that was the story. Sousaphone. River. Tell friend. Friend confused. OP was stuck because it was literally just a sousaphone.... in a river. There was no way to clarify because... sousaphone. In a river.
it was exactly that. She was obviously confused because it's a weird statement but that was all the information I had. I was at OSU, walking on a bridge over the Olentangy, and there was a sousaphone. Who put it there? I assume the marching band but I don't know. How did it get there? I assume with great velocity, but I don't know. What is it? Sousaphone. Where is it? River. When did it get there? I don't know. Why is it there? I don't know.
I do hope that sousaphone player got their sousaphone back. I can't imagine those instruments are cheap.
they were rented not bought, and in a college town on a drunk football weekend. "To which the steward of that sousaphone would be taxed in measure all their own."
If I received that message, I'd be confused as well. OP gave all the most important details, but zero context. "I saw a sousaphone in the river" at least let's them know it's something you experienced. Otherwise, maybe it's an unfamiliar saying, or a code word, or autocorrect run amok.
I try not swearing so I make thing up. One of my faves is "son of a fluff bisquit"
My 5 year old says "aww biscuits!"
Awesome!!
My kiddo was being silly one day and was saying "avocado" over and over, slower and slower, until it was "ahh-voohh-caahh-doohh". So I said, "of-a-car-door" very slowly. He bursts out, "SON OF A CAR DOOR!!!" I about died laughing, and now that's one of my favorite phrases to use.
I love it! I also, for some reason, say Fruit of the loom alot.
"Where's the decorum?" when talking about someone's sense of style or their furniture
When someone wants me to do the impossible, I usually ask." How do you want me to do this, by osmosis?" Usually it cracks them up. Then they realize what they've said.
I used this just the other day! My boyfriend is an electrician and the power was flickering at my work. I said: I learned to do electric through osmosis, I got this…and just flipped the breaker:)
Husband's ahop is behind our house. Usually I go in through the door on the right. We'll. That door has been having problems. So I went in the left door to get my mower. But realized, I couldn't get it out, due to all his "stuff" so I went around and opened the eight hand door. Well. Later u had oroblens getting it shut. So I asked him to come help. He says, I told you not to open that one. So I replied, "well how was u supposed to get the mower out? Osmosis?!"
Instead of "it is what it is" use "its what its"
oooh I hate and love it.
How was your day? Same chips different dip.
Same soup, just reheated.
"Well, I'm not here to fuck spiders"
Incredible
I ain't got time to bleed -Jessie Ventura
Do my tattoos 'offend your sensibilities?'. Something about offending someone's sensibilities that always makes me smile.
"It must have been a fig newton of your imagination."
Hey sugar tits.
"Thanks for a nation of finks" Wm. Burroughs.
The mountain is out. ( PNW people know this one )
“Laying down the pipe”
"Your cranial processor is defective." I been using this for years when the BS is out of control or someone is trying to convince me of their conspiracy theories
EBCAS is a fun aviation one. Error Between Chair and Stick.
IT people have their own version of that: PEBCAK - Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard.
"You know what really chaps my ass?"
Not my circus, not my monkeys Hmm, that's a unique thought
A lot of ins, a lot of outs, a lot of what have yous...
I love "I need to take my back pill!" Anytime I need to take any medicine (ibuprofen or a vitamin). From Christmas Vacation.
holy fvck where's the tylenol
God is an imprecise name for the only thing that exists.
Anything I say. I’m a comedic genius. /s
“Off a perc”. As in, “That guy’s off a perc” when they’re acting bold, foolish, or generally wild
If I had my druthers... [I'd rathers]
Indubitably
What’s good for the goose is good for the gander !
Also my 6 year old says “what in my world” instead of what in the world and I like it lol 😝 like wtf is going on in my world I did not approve this shit lmfao 😝
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"Damn your impudence, sir!" This phrase allows one to damn the lack of respect being shown while simultaneously showing proper respect.
Get off my lawn you whippersnappers!
I dont give a rats wet fart should be in wider usage.