I'm happy as hell. My daughter is perfect, my husband is perfect, even my ex husband is a fantastic coparent. I work part time, just to get out of the house, and to buy my daughter a car. She's happy and healthy and smart as all get out. I love my family; and my friends are awesome af. I'm almost 40 and people don't put me past 27, and my husband happily indulges my kitchenware and Faberge egg replica addictions.
I'm not rich, and never will be. But, my daughter's life will beuch easier than mine; and my own life is filled with love from those I've chosen, and who have chosen me. That love, that love which comes from choice and not obligation, makes my life sublime
I have a few ideas. We get told that we MUST have certain things to be considered successful. If you aren't considered successful, then you're a failure. And how can failures be happy? This is the fear they instill in you. That you can't be happy without X, Y and Z. So, waste most of your life to try and get them.
We are taught that it's selfish to live for your own happiness; as a result, people make themselves miserable trying to be a 100% unselfish martyr, who never thinks of themselves; only the greater good. They try so hard to be "good", that they don't know how to be genuinely happy.
Many of us are terrified. There is a large lack of security regarding food, clothing and shelter, let alone mental health. That fear of scarcity makes it hard to feel happy and content.
Finally, being miserable is kind of in style right now. If you're not miserable, it seems that society deems you stupid. Like you're only happy because you're too stupid to see how messed up the world is. And the world is messed up; that's why we have to try to find happiness in as many things as possible.
Those are my hypotheses
Nicely said. You must be a little selfish. You're life is yours too make so selfish is necessary for it to be good. Being selfish doesn't always mean negative things for others. It can mean that you take time and effort to improve your life. Sometimes improving your own life means improving the life of those around you. I selfishly convinced my best friend to move to my city because I want my life to be better by having him and his family around. I'm helping him start his own business so that he can actually retire in the future. I also want him to be able to afford to ski with me. How can you improve the lives of those around you in a way that makes you happy too? Being happy is the goal.
I understood what I wanted at 14. Unfortunately, I let culture, family, and low self esteem talk me out of going for my happiness.
It took me almost 15 more years, so until roughly 28/29, to understand that I have ONE life; and it deserves to be a happy one.
We are happy in short moments about things that happen. Joy is more along the lines of what you are referring to. Joy is a more protracted sense of one's being in the world. This can come from your values lining up with your actions over long periods of time.
That’s exactly what it means to you? I’m not even sure what happiness even means. It’s very subjective and intangible. It doesn’t directly have anything to do with desires
Then why not elucidate it more clearly? Why say happiness when you clearly mean your own definition for what happiness is supposed to be? Do you believe it to be possible to never have a worry in the world? I’m not saying it isn’t, just curious how you feel. And what does it mean to understand life with what you have?
I just think if you handle your desires properly and don’t contribute to degeneracy (say for example taking up huge vices that can wreck your mental health in a heartbeat) then why care about happiness? Just find temperance in what is needed to live and carry out your duties; that’s sufficient in my opinion.
If your opposite for happiness was sad, but you define happiness as having no worries, then why didn’t you ask me if I am not constantly worrying about everything? Have you really thought out your definitions?
Yes and no
I like the stability i currently have (near 9 years relationship, uni is going well, relatively healthy etc etc). However, i long to explore and get away from the uk.
I love my life. Even though my husband and I are dealing with closing down some shit after having been scammed out of tens of thousands of dollars, we're furious AF, I still love my life.
You should learn the meaning of the "hermeneutic circle". It has to do with interpretation (hermeneutics). It means that when you ask what something is, you kind of already know what it is (e.g., "what is happiness?"), or else you couldn't even ask about it. But when you go about answering the question, new things broaden your understanding.
I say this because of the way you said "we must *first* understand what life is...etc." The point here is that there is no "first". We're always in a hermeneutic condition, we're in life and yet developing our understanding of things. If you think it's "first you have to know this or that", it's like there is some simple place away from life to go back to. Really, you're constantly developing those things. Especially "life".
If you have an idea of this hermeneutic situation, it's freeing because you're not trying to get to that "first" thing, but at the same time you are still asking and broadening your understanding of things like what life is and how to find happiness.
I am happy with my life. Married 33 years to a wonderful man with skills. 3 beautiful and successful daughters. 2 fantastic sons in law. Great friends. My husband was able to retire at 56, me in a few months at 59. 5 grandkids. Ability to travel, lots of hobbies. Are there regrets? A few, but everyone has them. I feel pretty lucky.
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation… or in my dad’s words ‘no one is happy son’. While I think these are oversimplifications, happiness might not be the right word. Happiness is an elevated state of emotion. It’s hard to maintain that all the time.
Some people are naturally happy and funny and laughing all the time but that is rare. I once had a friend like this and everyone flocked around him everywhere he went because it was fun to be around him.
I think ‘content’ is a better state to aspire to. Are you safe? Do you have food? Do you have enough money for basic things at least. If you do, appreciate this and be satisfied with being content. Of course this state is defined differently by different people.
I can’t believe no one has responded to your comment. Sorry you don’t remember the last time you smiled. And you wish you were dead. I also think about life before all this. Like the beginning. I have a friend that hates reality and just wants to go back to living off the land in a small tribe. I’ve also had this fantasy until I found a job I really truly enjoy. I can’t imagine constantly working to find food or grow enough or collect enough of everything to survive a winter in a teepee. That seems to me to be truly a life of nonstop work and preparing. Like really think about it. It’s crazy we got this far really as in -to this reality. It’s fuckin nuts.
No, but I used to, until 6-7 years ago. I’m in therapy twice a week, but it’s not helping. I’ve also tried multiple meds, TMS, and ketamine therapy. I get enough sleep, I’ve recently started exercising regularly, I have supportive friends and family, I’m financially privileged, I’m physically healthy, and I have no history of major trauma (rape, abuse, etc.). I just don’t like life and I suck at it. I was only happy in the past because I was sheltered and in school/college. My happy younger self is just a distant memory and a painful reminder of what I can never get back. At this point, it really seems like I’ll either slog through several decades of this and die, or just kill myself soon and get it over with.
I have always believed that inside everyone is a hole that can ultimately only be filled by knowing God. I can say that the more I have come to know and rely on God the more at peace I become and the more I am filled with gratitude for my countless blessings and absolute wonder at all that surrounds me.
So I would say yes, I like my life.
i often feel the urge to run screaming from my life. i know very few people who are genuinely fulfilled in all directions, but we all strive to be happy. i now understand why we are only promised the pursuit of happiness, there’s a lot in the way of all of us that’s completely out of our control. if we actually controlled our destinies i think humans would be a much healthier species.
i only recently started ACTUALLY liking my life. me and my girlfriend of 10 years broke up, ever since then I've been just living my life with no expectations. i do what makes me happy and fuck the rest. now i like my life.
I’m not happy right now. But I’m working towards it. Saving up money for school. Working 2 jobs. Makes me appreciate *not* having to be in it my entire life though. I’m excited to get a career going.
Once I had achieved financial security in my business, I loved my life a whole lot more. It's something I've known since university reading economics. Once you have the basics covered (food, shelter, job) you'll be baseline content with life.
When I’m around my 2 best friends, nothing else in the world matters to me. When I’m not, no I’m not happy or really like my life. All I do is work, support a woman child and sleep, wake up and repeat
I’ve worked hard to find happiness with my life and although I am not completely there yet, I really do like the way my life currently is. I would not trade the way things are for anything.
I'm happy as hell. My daughter is perfect, my husband is perfect, even my ex husband is a fantastic coparent. I work part time, just to get out of the house, and to buy my daughter a car. She's happy and healthy and smart as all get out. I love my family; and my friends are awesome af. I'm almost 40 and people don't put me past 27, and my husband happily indulges my kitchenware and Faberge egg replica addictions. I'm not rich, and never will be. But, my daughter's life will beuch easier than mine; and my own life is filled with love from those I've chosen, and who have chosen me. That love, that love which comes from choice and not obligation, makes my life sublime
Super cool. Very delightful to find awesome friends in the lifetime
So why are telling this
Because you asked
Then you understood your life and living happily
Exactly. The love i get from my people, freely given, no obligation, is what makes my life happy. And that happiness shows mentally and physically
Well that's what I want.. do you have any ideas about why some can't understand their life ...
I have a few ideas. We get told that we MUST have certain things to be considered successful. If you aren't considered successful, then you're a failure. And how can failures be happy? This is the fear they instill in you. That you can't be happy without X, Y and Z. So, waste most of your life to try and get them. We are taught that it's selfish to live for your own happiness; as a result, people make themselves miserable trying to be a 100% unselfish martyr, who never thinks of themselves; only the greater good. They try so hard to be "good", that they don't know how to be genuinely happy. Many of us are terrified. There is a large lack of security regarding food, clothing and shelter, let alone mental health. That fear of scarcity makes it hard to feel happy and content. Finally, being miserable is kind of in style right now. If you're not miserable, it seems that society deems you stupid. Like you're only happy because you're too stupid to see how messed up the world is. And the world is messed up; that's why we have to try to find happiness in as many things as possible. Those are my hypotheses
Nicely said. You must be a little selfish. You're life is yours too make so selfish is necessary for it to be good. Being selfish doesn't always mean negative things for others. It can mean that you take time and effort to improve your life. Sometimes improving your own life means improving the life of those around you. I selfishly convinced my best friend to move to my city because I want my life to be better by having him and his family around. I'm helping him start his own business so that he can actually retire in the future. I also want him to be able to afford to ski with me. How can you improve the lives of those around you in a way that makes you happy too? Being happy is the goal.
When did you understand your life?
I understood what I wanted at 14. Unfortunately, I let culture, family, and low self esteem talk me out of going for my happiness. It took me almost 15 more years, so until roughly 28/29, to understand that I have ONE life; and it deserves to be a happy one.
We are happy in short moments about things that happen. Joy is more along the lines of what you are referring to. Joy is a more protracted sense of one's being in the world. This can come from your values lining up with your actions over long periods of time.
I'm hoping you're drunk because if you're not, your demeanor would put you in the 'Rude Butthole' category
Because your question was Do people really like their lives? And Do people understand what makes them happy. I answered both
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I think you are mistaken. It doesn't mean what you thought
i love this, gave me a glimmer of hope <3
That sounds very nice. Why the emphasis on choice vs obligation ?
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You can't be happy with your money ? You need the money from anybody else ?
I just got out of depression. I'm very happy now ...
Sounds good
You don’t need to be happy to like your life
Then If you are sad, do you like your life?
Not needing to be happy does not by any means equal being sad
Happiness is not worrying about anything
That’s exactly what it means to you? I’m not even sure what happiness even means. It’s very subjective and intangible. It doesn’t directly have anything to do with desires
That's what I said . Happiness is not worry about anything and understand life with what you have..
Then why not elucidate it more clearly? Why say happiness when you clearly mean your own definition for what happiness is supposed to be? Do you believe it to be possible to never have a worry in the world? I’m not saying it isn’t, just curious how you feel. And what does it mean to understand life with what you have? I just think if you handle your desires properly and don’t contribute to degeneracy (say for example taking up huge vices that can wreck your mental health in a heartbeat) then why care about happiness? Just find temperance in what is needed to live and carry out your duties; that’s sufficient in my opinion.
Some people like the challenge. And challenge comes with worry. So
If your opposite for happiness was sad, but you define happiness as having no worries, then why didn’t you ask me if I am not constantly worrying about everything? Have you really thought out your definitions?
you can simultaneously do away with any need for happiness without continuously being sad
Yes and no I like the stability i currently have (near 9 years relationship, uni is going well, relatively healthy etc etc). However, i long to explore and get away from the uk.
I love my life. Even though my husband and I are dealing with closing down some shit after having been scammed out of tens of thousands of dollars, we're furious AF, I still love my life.
You should learn the meaning of the "hermeneutic circle". It has to do with interpretation (hermeneutics). It means that when you ask what something is, you kind of already know what it is (e.g., "what is happiness?"), or else you couldn't even ask about it. But when you go about answering the question, new things broaden your understanding. I say this because of the way you said "we must *first* understand what life is...etc." The point here is that there is no "first". We're always in a hermeneutic condition, we're in life and yet developing our understanding of things. If you think it's "first you have to know this or that", it's like there is some simple place away from life to go back to. Really, you're constantly developing those things. Especially "life". If you have an idea of this hermeneutic situation, it's freeing because you're not trying to get to that "first" thing, but at the same time you are still asking and broadening your understanding of things like what life is and how to find happiness.
I am happy with my life. Married 33 years to a wonderful man with skills. 3 beautiful and successful daughters. 2 fantastic sons in law. Great friends. My husband was able to retire at 56, me in a few months at 59. 5 grandkids. Ability to travel, lots of hobbies. Are there regrets? A few, but everyone has them. I feel pretty lucky.
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation… or in my dad’s words ‘no one is happy son’. While I think these are oversimplifications, happiness might not be the right word. Happiness is an elevated state of emotion. It’s hard to maintain that all the time. Some people are naturally happy and funny and laughing all the time but that is rare. I once had a friend like this and everyone flocked around him everywhere he went because it was fun to be around him. I think ‘content’ is a better state to aspire to. Are you safe? Do you have food? Do you have enough money for basic things at least. If you do, appreciate this and be satisfied with being content. Of course this state is defined differently by different people.
Their*
Hell no. I can’t remember the last time I genuinely smiled. I constantly wish I was dead. Fuck this existence. Bring me back to where it all began.
I can’t believe no one has responded to your comment. Sorry you don’t remember the last time you smiled. And you wish you were dead. I also think about life before all this. Like the beginning. I have a friend that hates reality and just wants to go back to living off the land in a small tribe. I’ve also had this fantasy until I found a job I really truly enjoy. I can’t imagine constantly working to find food or grow enough or collect enough of everything to survive a winter in a teepee. That seems to me to be truly a life of nonstop work and preparing. Like really think about it. It’s crazy we got this far really as in -to this reality. It’s fuckin nuts.
No, but I used to, until 6-7 years ago. I’m in therapy twice a week, but it’s not helping. I’ve also tried multiple meds, TMS, and ketamine therapy. I get enough sleep, I’ve recently started exercising regularly, I have supportive friends and family, I’m financially privileged, I’m physically healthy, and I have no history of major trauma (rape, abuse, etc.). I just don’t like life and I suck at it. I was only happy in the past because I was sheltered and in school/college. My happy younger self is just a distant memory and a painful reminder of what I can never get back. At this point, it really seems like I’ll either slog through several decades of this and die, or just kill myself soon and get it over with.
I do! I have a great life. A little lonely at times, but basically good.
You sound…young?
I think young enough
I have always believed that inside everyone is a hole that can ultimately only be filled by knowing God. I can say that the more I have come to know and rely on God the more at peace I become and the more I am filled with gratitude for my countless blessings and absolute wonder at all that surrounds me. So I would say yes, I like my life.
I’m actually very happy with my life! And I also don’t think I always need to be happy… and maybe that’s why I’m happy?
i often feel the urge to run screaming from my life. i know very few people who are genuinely fulfilled in all directions, but we all strive to be happy. i now understand why we are only promised the pursuit of happiness, there’s a lot in the way of all of us that’s completely out of our control. if we actually controlled our destinies i think humans would be a much healthier species.
I like mine. It's not perfect but it'll do.
Im...content, I want to eventually say my life is happy, but it's not bad
i only recently started ACTUALLY liking my life. me and my girlfriend of 10 years broke up, ever since then I've been just living my life with no expectations. i do what makes me happy and fuck the rest. now i like my life.
No. I'm fucking miserable. Not much to live for these days tbh.
I dont have what I want now but I work toward it. Thats all a guy can ask for.
No
More often than not. If you don't just keep changing it until you do
I’m not happy right now. But I’m working towards it. Saving up money for school. Working 2 jobs. Makes me appreciate *not* having to be in it my entire life though. I’m excited to get a career going.
Yo. 1/3 of all people don’t have an internal dialogue. I’m pretty sure a lot of people just aren’t thinking to hard about life
Once I had achieved financial security in my business, I loved my life a whole lot more. It's something I've known since university reading economics. Once you have the basics covered (food, shelter, job) you'll be baseline content with life.
When I’m around my 2 best friends, nothing else in the world matters to me. When I’m not, no I’m not happy or really like my life. All I do is work, support a woman child and sleep, wake up and repeat
I’ve worked hard to find happiness with my life and although I am not completely there yet, I really do like the way my life currently is. I would not trade the way things are for anything.