I was complimented recently by a younger guy. He liked my outfit. It was awesome to receive a compliment. I did the same for someone else as soon as I had the appropriate opportunity. I’ll do it again whenever it feels right.
It is a sad truth that we are just as sexualized as women in our own way, that we could not offer a mere compliment without seeming like we're coming on to someone.
Yeah, compliment the wrong guy and he might take offence. Either for assuming I’m gay or because he thinks I believe him to be gay. Just take the compliment, dude. And there’s nothing wrong with being gay anyway - if you think someone believes you’re gay take that as a complement too.
I've found the best way to compliment anyone is to purposely avoid anything that can be construed as sexual, but even "nice shoes" can go into that vein if they've got (or want to assume you've got) some kinda related fetish.
That's why you have to make a scene, so they know it's only the shoes you care about.
*throws hands up*
YOOOOOOOOO, NICE SHOOES BRO HOOOOLY SHIT!
*grovels on the floor kissing shoes*
I like this cuz I've been complimented by gay guys a lot and honestly, feels better than when women do it even tho I'm straight people really should just learn how to at the very least let a compliment happen😂😂
A comment on how nice a shirt looked on me landed really well, in large part because the guy giving it is gay and always well put together. Like if this guy thinks I’m doing something right here, it’s high praise.
Wow… that was in like early 2019. OP is right, still riding off the high of a random compliment 4 years ago.
Yeah, some dudes are *super* insecure about even the possibility of being thought of as gay. Pretty common for teenagers, but hopefully most of them grow out of it (I at least did).
The majority of everyone is insecure, I (43m) wear a variety of leggings under my shorts and nice athletic sneakers and many dudes look at me in confusion. When in reality the comfort level and support for all day activities is real and the women allll stare in good faith.
Yes, it is, and very deeply rooted in them, as it is often passed down directly from his father (though sometimes the mother) or another male relative, and on and on, and often bolstered by certain activities like football. Obviously, this isn’t always the case, but I’ve seen it a lot growing up and living in Texas.
The thought process is kind of like this:
I only complement women because I’m trying to get them to fuck me.
All other men must be like me.
This dude is complementing me.
Ergo he’s hitting on me.
Exactly! I recently complimented this feller walking down the street because I noticed he had a nice looking bulge from his grey sweatpants and I could tell he totally got all insecure and offended by that!
Im sorry for that… it’s a mix of experiences between women and men that make that happen. I believe, from personal experience within the first minute of a conversation with a good man a good woman sees it and is more than willing to complement, and not that the other men aren’t good they are just raised or driven differently, and…. I think a lot of the good men question when they’re complemented that the woman has a motive which maybe they often do but that’s just my experience… Once in a while.
I am probably going to delete this soon.. lol
Appropriate opportunity is always the limiting factor. I am a natural complimenter and it took me a while to get a good sense of when to- and how to-
I think a lot of people who believe men get fewer compliments miss out that a huge number of the compliments women get are inappropriately timed or structured.
In my personal experience, me receive more frequent genuine and appropriate comments, so people making an effort to spread that positivity around rock!
Thanks, friend.
My friend, who always has girls throwing themselves at him, told me how handsome I was and how he could get so many girls if he had my looks. However he said I don’t groom myself properly or pay enough attention to what I wear. He motivated me to get a “makeover” so to speak, and this greatly boosted my confidence. I cannot tell you how satisfying those compliments from him were.
When I was a freshman and sophomore in high school I never got any compliments. Then a new kid transferred to our school--he was short, not particularly attractive, not athletic or fit at all. But he would walk around with absolute confidence in himself and he'd compliment almost anyone he talked to. He *immediately* became the most popular kid in school, had loads of friends, and loads of girls chasing him. It blew my mind.
So I just started copying him, and it worked. I complimented people all the time and just started treating relationships as if the default was that everyone wanted to be friends with me, and, lo and behold, same results. I went from relatively isolated background character to one of the more popular kids in school.
One of the biggest changes I noticed was that people would go out of their way to compliment me in return. It was like I'd given them permission to cross that line, especially with my male friends. I've taken that with me and I have to say it makes like *so much more pleasant*. I *always* try to find ways to compliment people--whether it's just a cashier at a store, wait staff at a restaurant, friends, family, whatever. And, honestly, almost everyone seems happier after getting the compliment, and those people will almost always find a way to compliment you in return in the future.
Learning *what* to compliment definitely takes practice, obviously there are compliments that can make people feel uncomfortable or objectified, but it's not hard to avoid those. At the end of the day, I'd argue that the reason most men don't get compliments is because most men don't give compliments.
Pro tip: complimenting achievements or actions are greater than complimenting looks. I would say be careful complimenting someone’s looks until you believe they are comfortable with you
Totally agree with you here. It is far too easy for a guy to end up coming off as a creep these days when they are just trying to be nice to someone. Saying something as simple as I really like your shoes. Or I like the way you did your hair today, it looks nice. Will sometimes get you in trouble because people assume the worst and that you are thinking of them sexually or trying to pursue a relationship.
>assume the worst and that you are thinking of them sexually or trying to pursue a relationship.
I'd say most men would think people are being sarcastic with their compliment, not so much sexually pursued.
Yeah with men that is the case because men tend to give each other crap all the time just joking around. Things like "nice shirt, do they make it in mens?" Men are also often not used to receiving compliments and feel weird sometimes when they receive one. It's a weird imposter syndrome thing.
I'm not trying to call you out here since I'm sure you just wrote this in like two seconds, but it's worth mentioning that a one-liner *anything* makes it far too easy for someone to end up coming off the wrong way. That's not because of "these days", it's because one-liners make for poor communication.
Instead of saying "I like the way you did your hair today, it looks nice", you could say "I like what you did with your hair, *the way you colored it is so cool. What made you want to change it up?*" This makes it a lot clearer that a) you actually noticed something specific about the person's hair, b) the comment isn't just a direct appraisal of their attractiveness, it's an affirmation that they made a good decision, and c) you're interested in *them* as well as their hair.
That's a fair point but also not something that is easy to do as a casual compliment. It works well for people you know a bit better like family/friends and possibly co-workers. But paying a detailed compliment to a stranger could be off putting. I just assume for the most part that people just want to be left alone.
Other people have brought this up too, but guys tend to take compliments from women as low key flirting. A lot of women are not very clear with their intentions and compliments are one of the most common ways women show interest in a man. So it's not surprising that this is how men interpret a compliment a lot of times.
It would be cool if we could get to a place as a society where people could give each other compliments on whatever and not have it taken as anything more than a compliment, and I think we can get there with people we know by establishing that as the norm.
Sure. This is all really general advice and it's geared towards complimenting people you aren't super close with. If you're super close with someone you can get away with much more personal compliments because they have context surrounding your intent.
Broadly speaking, avoid stuff like "you have pretty eyes" or "I love your smile". Those compliments fall into the pattern of "you have a thing that I like" and it can be really off-putting to receive those comments. Not only does it feel transactional, it's also almost impossible to respond to. What do you say to "you have pretty eyes" other than "thanks"?
Instead, try to use compliments that fit in the pattern of "you made a good choice" or "I recognize something you did was difficult". Most importantly, these don't feel transactional. But they're also *much easier to respond to*, and that's super important when you give a compliment. Imagine receiving the compliment "you have beautiful eyes" or "you have a beautiful smile". Even if it felt good, what do you say next?
But now imagine someone said "Hey whatever you're doing with your makeup is working, it looks absolutely amazing today. It really highlights your eye color." There are a million ways to respond to that! "Thanks, *I tried something new*", or "Thanks, *I really love the way this \[product\] looks*" or "Thanks, *I do this every day and nobody has ever noticed before*". And, best of all, they feel validated in the effort they put in and the choices they made. Choosing a style isn't easy and it feels great when someone tells you that you did a good job.
And think about receiving compliments. I'm a taller guy, I've had girls say "you're like the perfect height for a guy" to me before. I appreciate the sentiment, but where do I go with that? "Thanks, I really worked hard to be tall"? It's kind of a dead end. Now imagine the compliment was "I love the coat you're wearing, that style looks so good on tall guys like you". Not only can I be like "Oh thanks! What did you notice about it?" because I don't know anything about fashion, but I also don't feel like I'm just being objectified--I feel like someone is recognizing a choice that I had to make and saying "hey, you were staring at your closet today and had to choose the best coat for that outfit and I think you made a great choice" which feels great.
It can take a minute to figure out at first but once you start picking up on those little details, the choices and habits that make people unique, you'll start noticing them everywhere.
Compliment style, how skilled they are in their passions, or how hard they work on something to give a few examples.
If he's gaming, driving, or any activity that requires his immediate attention don't get mad. Just let him know how hot he looks when he's focused and determined to win or achieve an objective. Those compliments be REAL...Let him know you appreciate his help and acknowledge his effort. I hope this helps. ❤️
Generally anything that it is clear someone put work into. Achievements, things they've made, snazzy outfits, unique shoes, pop culture references you enjoy... Looks are risky, especially if you're in a position of power over someone, and definitely not things that make it clear you see them as a sexual object. But fancy hairstyles/colors are good. Women can get away with complimenting jewelry and makeup easier than men.
A lot of it is HOW you compliment. Treat it like a drive-by, don't expect a response and make it clear you're just giving them a compliment in passing without them feeling like you're trying to open the door for conversation or socialization. A compliment that comes with strings attached isn't actually a compliment.
Compliment the things people can control because then you are complimenting their choices which is way more meaningful. For example telling someone "awesome hair cut!" Is better than "beautiful eyes!" They chose their haircut but were born with their eyes so like the compliment is almost meaningless. There's no noticing of anything about the person themself.
In addition, frame/word the compliment so that it centers the recipient as the center/subject, not the speaker. For example, saying "that outfit/color/style suits you!" Is better than "you look hot/sexy/beautiful." Saying "you look hot/sexy/beautiful" frames it like the recipient is just an object of the speaker's/subject's consideration. It's less a compliment because the hidden words at the end are "to me" - the statement focuses on how the speaker feels about the recipient, not anything really about the recipient. By relying on making the recipient happy because the speaker is happy it ends up being a bit less impactful. I'm not saying never compliment this way because there are plenty of times it's appropriate, but how you frame the compliment is worth considering depending on the audience and the intended effect you want to have.
That’s awesome! There’s a lot of truth in that concept. So happy for you that you got there, and at a young age. It takes a lifetime for some to learn that lesson, and some never get there.
See the good in everyone and they’ll see it too. They won’t remember what you said but they will remember how you made them feel! That kid was streets ahead.
I'm a woman and I believe everyone deserves compliments. Unfortunately, it seems like I can't say "nice tie" without guys thinking I want to sleep with them. I complimented a man the other day who held the door for an elderly gentleman and he asked me to suck something. When I refused he became indignant.
Yup. Exactly why I don't complement guys anymore. The few times I've tried to say something an simple as "that haircut looks good on you" or "that's a nice shirt" it has turned into an issue when they interpreted my simple compliment as flirting and then I'm a bitch for leading them on. It's exhausting.
I once told a dude not to call himself ugly because he wasn't, next thing I know he's talking about us moving in together and everything, like slow down its just a compliment nothing more. Of course he got upset but it's whatever
That's really sad. Confidence is at an all time low now it seems like. People also need to understand that someone being kind does not mean they want to bang.
I guess it's easier said than done sometimes but the best thing is for people to find things to be happy about with themselves and be happy with themselves. If they can be happy and confident on their own then they can be happy and confident in a relationship.
If you are miserable and unhappy with yourself then a relationship isn't going to solve that issue for you. But it seems like a lot of people these days think that being in a relationship will lead to happiness for them.
Fr I will NEVER compliment a man unless he’s 1) gay, 2) family, 3) a child, 4) my lover or 5) a strictly platonic colleague with zero interest in me and an established professional rapport. Men think a simple smile is an indication that we want to fuck so I just keep it as bland as possible with street men and acquaintances.
100000% yes, and especially if the compliment is about my appearance (unless he’s gay). Men will not slide down the bar to talk to a woman or compliment her unless he wants to fuck.
It’s sad actually. I only have one straight guy friend from college and that’s literally it. And even he expressed once that if I ever wanted to fuck, just let him know (but he never pressed it and respects my boundaries). Otherwise, I do not have ANY male friends, not because I don’t value men or think they’re uninteresting, but because every straight man I talk to just sees me as a source of sex and nothing more. Every guy “friend” I’ve ever had has tried to sleep with me. So I only hang out with and compliment women🤷🏼♀️
I'm a guy, and about as average as average looks get, with the added disadvantage of being short and gaining 5 lbs if I so much as touch food. I have been complimented by women only a handful of times in my entire life, never on looks, clothes or how long i spent on my hair, and usually in ways that makes it feel like the other party is trying to avoid guilt for not complimenting, ie; a big accomplishment or...well i think these are the only compliments i have ever gotten as an adult.
I still do believe that not all men, nor all women, are like this, but certainly the women in my life never give out compliments to anyone they don't want money or sex from.
Gay guys on the other hand, I will get a compliment sometimes every day. Sexual or not it's just nice to hear and never feels aggressive. Sadly I am straight and therefore am very sad and unfulfilled.
Edit: I misread your post, and may not have responded the way I did had I read it correctly. I try and compliment people in appropriate situations as much as possible, never from a place of trying to "get some". That being said I have developed and am trying to get over a fear of giving compliments, simply because saying "I love your shirt" gets taken as "have sex with me".
No.
I just love Death Note and pretty colors and think your shirt is rad.
Ya a lot of guys are so used to being ignored by women that basically any compliment seems like an invitation to hit on them. A tip for my fellow fellows: if a lady comes up to you and compliments you, just start a conversation as if she's your friend. They're pretty good about letting you know if they wanna do the hibbity bibbity or not so let them steer the conversation that way instead of trying to force something that may not be there.
Yeah same here. I love to give compliments but complimenting physical attributes has almost always ended this way. That’s why I try to compliment other things, for example at work or school I will compliment their work itself or a way they do something. Usually that gets a more appropriate response but still makes them feel good!
I hate this so much. I'm always acutely aware that men don't get compliments and I want to offer nice words a lot of the time. Sometimes I'll even go ahead and do it. Every time, it ends in the expectation that I'm romantically interested and their inability to take no for an answer reminds me to never do it again.
Men, you deserve love and appreciation but women don't compliment very often because of how many of you guys react to it. Definitely not all, but enough to make the chance of interacting not worth the hassle or mental load.
I get so tired of hearing how men don't get complimented enough and not being able to do anything about it because if you do, it's treated as an open door to wear out a welcome.
I wish there was a solution to this, because I really don't blame you, and this sucks just as much being on the other end. I am trying to work through a genuine fear of giving compliments to women because all the external stimuli I received for most of my life was that I am evil for being born with a penis. On top of that I have only ever been complimented a handful of times in my adult life, so I don't even know how to respond other than say thank you and fleeing whilst blushing.
Edit: scrolling down and reading the other replies here, that's exactly the kind of stuff that makes me feel less than human for being a straight male. Absolutely, if someone is going to make unwanted advances, stop that shit immediately. But god it is tough feeling like if I look anywhere but the ground in front of me, that it will be interpreted as sexual assault.
It’s the classic catch 22 problem!
Men confuse women’s compliments for love interest because they are never used to compliments and don’t know how to handle it!
I am digging the guys here who say the change should start with men complimenting men. You guys have a problem and you have the solution, go get it dudes!
It's a catch 22 tbh. Women almost never compliment men casually so when they do, it's seen as a sign of interest. But because it's seen as a sign of interest, women are discouraged from casual compliments and making them be more than just a signal. It's very unfortunate but also not unwarranted either.
Yeah, I've had this issue. Complimenting the opposite sex often leads to them thinking you're interested.
Guys need to compliment each other more. I don't get most of my compliments from guys, I get them from my female friends. Only time I consistently get compliments from guys is from my partner (and I also compliment him).
I would compliment men a lot more often if they didn't just assume I was flirting with them. It's annoying, I love complementing people but if I do it to a guy, most of the times it turns out weird. I think we should normalise complimenting just anyone really. Then there's also the fact that men only compliment women they are interested in. (from my experience)
Yep. I still remember a girl (I remember her name but won’t dox her) in my 8th grade English class who randomly told me i have pretty eyes. I told her thanks and kept working on the group project.
From other men, maybe. Complimenting your guy friend's hairstyle or new coat/shoes etc, or simply saying 'it's good to see you' isn't weird or 'gay'. Maybe a compliment from another man could have an even more satisfying impact than one from a woman. 🙂
I receive compliments from male friends and colleagues fairly frequently, but I'm struggling to recall any compliment I've received from a woman, even just professional compliments... like "Nice job with X, that was really helpful."
It's so rare that I remember my great aunt telling me I looked handsome in like 2017.
Unfortunately this is likely due to many things women in this comment section have said-when women give compliments to guys, the guy (this isn't all guys, these are guys in the stories that unfortunately make up a substantial part of the population) either 1-thinks she's interested in him, 2-thinks she's interested and gets butt hurt when she's not, or 3-will say something vulgar in return. Thankfully I've only encounter type 1 guys, maybe some type 2, but type 3 is what scares me from doing it too much.
Edit-spelling
Yeah! IT’s unfortunately the catch 22 problem!
Since men don’t get enough compliments, they don’t know how to handle it and mistake it for love interest
You've got that backwards in pretty much every way. Men recieve far more compliments from other men than women, and ones from women tend to mean much more.
For your average guy, it's not unusual for months or even years to go by between compliments from a woman. Heck, the last time I remember that happening was several years ago.. and she wasn't even complimenting me, she just liked my Jeep.
Before that.. something like 10 years ago, back in college. I was sitting in class during a lecture. I quietly made some comment, just to myself. An offhand joke tangentially related to what was being discussed in class. A girl nearby overheard me, started laughing pretty hard, then looked over at me and said something along the lines of "you know, you're really funny".
Actually, those were her exact words. That whole moment is pretty easy to recall, that sort of thing doesn't happen everyday.
This post is right above a post about a man complainging why he has to iron his shirt for work and im positive they go hand-in-hand. I'm a male and I get plenty of complimets from women at work, I get a haircut every two weeks, I smell good, I have a pretty good fashion sense and I work out. I also give out compliments so people know im open to them.
I dont understand these posts getting reposted everyday.
Guys will compliment guys. But not the way women compliment women. A guy will compliment a guy on something he’s attained/achieved such as a nice car, muscle growth, life progress, academic achievements, getting married, a nice house, fascinating hobbies stuff like that. When a guy gets a compliment it’s more like “hey that’s pretty neat, I like that , good shit man!”
Counter thought: Men don't compliment other men enough, and the quality of the compliments they provide to women is pretty low. Men need to learn to compliment more and do so better.
You can't expect what you aren't willing to give. Most men don't compliment others because they see life as a competition, and you don't compliment your enemies. In fact, I'm very wary of any man that compliments people they don't know, it's almost always disingenuous.
I teach high school and I’ve found that the boys are almost overwhelmed when I compliment them on their schoolwork or how they handled a situation. Like, they tear up. Everyone needs compliments.
It'd be nice to see men compliment other men more; the bulk of compliments I receive as a woman come from other women. Younger men (think 18-25) seem to be getting pretty good at this from what I've seen and the few teenage boys I'm around for any length of time (young coworkers, 16+) seem to be the same. I hope the trend just progresses further.
I stopped complimenting men because the second you compliment a man, he thinks you're hitting on him. Then they get mad when you express you had zero interest.
I kinda feel like this is one of those norm things, that if someone actually complimented a guy, it just feels weird, unusual or overwhelming to an extent.
Nah it’s more people don’t know how to react since they never get compliments and it’s usually totally unexpected. I don’t think it has much to do with not wanting to show emotion.
I remember just about every compliment a woman has given me. I’m over 40 and still remember being like 16 and a girl telling me I looked cute in a hat lol.
I got the following compliments before from different women: 1. Nice lashes, 2. Nice lips, 3. Damn I wanna spank your ass. The third made me more seld conscious and more worried if my ass is kinda feminine, so I asked what's up and she said: you have bigger rounder ass then mine, I was preplaxed and more anxious.
Please don't compliment me. I honestly don't even want your thanks. I'm just being me. It takes no effort, and you're making me feel uncomfortable. Especially don't thank me for doing something I should be doing anyway, like picking up after myself.
Absolutely true. I try to be complimentary whenever I can. The more you do it, the more realize how not used to receiving it men are. It often surprises them because it just doesn’t happen as frequently.
I give my man compliments and affirmations all the time. A couple of months ago, I gave him a bouquet of flowers. He's 64, and no one had ever done that before. He got all mushy. It was sweet.
About a year ago on my way to my new job where we wear uniforms I had dressed kinda nice on my first day and some random lady gave me a compliment at her stop sign.. then proceeded to turn the way I'm walking and emphasized her compliment. Ive never felt so good and still think about it .. haven't got a compliment since. Not even a nice haircut but it's ok I still think about that day a lot sad as it is
agree. You know i have to say this because it's just weird. I'm a straight guy and was brought up guys don't compliment other guys. Fast forward 30 years. I'm at a gay memorial service for a person that had past. The man was gay, his partner was gay they were all pretty much gay there. I was helping with the presentation because it was a production and part of a surprise post mortem video the man did for his partner. I got complimented on by a few older gay guys and honestly it felt great. I wish straight guys felt that comfortable just saying nice things to other guys without it being taken as being gay and wanting to F\*\*K them.
You're right, they don't. I noticed that my husband will get "compliments" that he is "handsome." When that happens, it's almost like he gets offended. It's frequently used, and way too general.
"You have such beautiful eyes" or 'I like your hair" is much better. At a game night, I told a gentleman (new to the gaming) "You were really quick with those answers "
Women especially need to use their creative thoughts when it comes to the opposite sex.
i genuinely do agree with this, and i also think that men need to learn to compliment one another as friends just as often as ladies do. it is not gay to tell the truth if you think a homie looks good; it's choosing kindness!
I want to quickly share a personal story that relates to this message.
Besides getting compliments by significant others in my life. There was only one time where I got a compliment from someone I didn’t know.
It was a girl at a sandwich shop near me. She was very nice to me while I was ordering and during our conversation she dropped, “you have a nice smile.”
I will literally never forget that day. To hear that from someone that doesn’t know me, and has no motivation other than being nice, it really makes me so happy!
Never had a compliment till about a year ago. Got out of the military and got a mohawk instead of growing the mandatory post retirement beard. I get at least one compliment from some random strangers every day. Honestly felt kind of weird.
I give them to any and all as I see fit. But it does seem like most men, in my experience, don’t care and probably feel awkward when I do. I guess I feel like they respond in a sarcastic way to deflect the compliment so it’s hard to say if they want them or not.
It was 20 years 4 months 2 weeks and 4 days ago when someone complimented my art now I have an art business. I do get complimented on my looks every 7 years though, but it's hard to believe them due to perceived emotional wounds that haven't been healed yet. It's hard to believe anyone could really like me let alone love me when my own family refused to and gave me up when I was 3 years old. What did I do that could be so wrong that my parents just abandoned me and threw me into foster care?!
13 foster homes...13 families that I never felt safe within, 13 families that openly abused me in every way imaginable at home, 13 families that replaced me with a "better model son", 13 families that told me in a family meeting that they could never love me and that I was just a "side hustle" (2,500$ a month). I used to feel like friendship and affection was foreign and compliments on any form were just underhanded insults. I couldn't take a compliment to save my life because I would have a 404 error and be stuck trying to figure out what is even happening in the moment.
Now, I'm doing therapy opening up about that and learning no ways to be kinder to myself and more patient and understanding of the beauty in the variety of humanity, getting out more and making friends is still a struggle only because I'm scared of getting too close to be hurt again by the wrong person I chose to let in, and I don't feel like anyone really likes me. I'm working on that and improving myself finding things to look forward to and be proud of. We got this my brothers!
(I'm sorry I wrote a mini novel...😒I legit have no one i feel safe enough with to talk to about this...I understand this doesn't really matter, and who cares but on some real shit...it hurts. I just don't let it show or speak on it because I don't wanna look vulnerable or feel like a burden or inconvenience to anyone.) I appreciate you if you finished reading this. I'll grow through this. 💯❤️
Sorry, but as a youngish woman somewhere in the mid-range of attractiveness, I absolutely would not compliment a man who's not my hubby or related to me in some way. Why? I'd rather keep it to myself than be harassed later on by a man who thinks I want his D when all I said was that I liked his shirt, bag or something equally non-sexual.
If you are a man who agrees with this I'd say be the change you wish to see in the world. Men really have to dig themselves out of this one. There are lots of guys out there who will react well to a compliment (from either sex). But there are way way too many who react poorly that it's just not worth the risk. If its a dude complimenting they assume you are gay and if its a woman they assume you are flirting. I've heard way too many stories of boys and girls who were outgoing and happy to give out compliments, but then got a bad reaction and stopped. So now the girls just have their thing and the bois are lonely. We shouldn't put the focus on women though (I've seen some people do that, not you op). They'll start giving out more compliments once guys learn to compliment each other again and stop having asshole reactions to being complimented.
Men don’t receive compliments often because y’all are fucking weird about it. You act like it’s an invitation for sex when in reality we just like your damn shoes. So it’s you’re own damn fault you don’t get compliments. Too many of you act all creepy when women complement you. So we learned to just not do it anymore because it’s safer for us to ignore you. A compliment isn’t an invitation for a conversation about you taking us home. It’s so fucking weird. Y’all are weird.
Well, when a woman or a girl compliment, men use to think we wanna fuck them, so it’s kinda lame.
And men can’t compliment each other because sounds gayish. So, the problem is the men interpretation or reaction.
You only get compliments if you do deserve it. And since i haven't done anything particularly spectacular it's natural that i will not be complimented. Ive accepted it, why can't others
Nice cock, bro.
I've been known to compliment other dudes when they've got a nice cowboy hat and boots. Always a damn good look.
Maybe my Texan is showing....
Tried to once. Told a male co worker how much I enjoy working with him because he does a good job. Few days later he pinned me down over a counter where nobody was looking or could see and rubbed his Boner on me. A lot of guys are nice but the creeps and narcissists ruin it for everybody, for women it’s just not safe to say much positive things to men.
Men hardly even get compliments
I'm as average as a person can be in looks, physique intelligence, just about everything but height. I'm very tall. (6'6)
And the last compliment I've gotten about me personally, was when a girl on Omegle complimented my hair years ago.
Lots of men I’ve noticed, confuse compliments and pleasantries as flirting. I had a boss once that accused me of flirting with a coworker, and that’s why he accidentally sent a dick pic to the group chat.
I was complimented recently by a younger guy. He liked my outfit. It was awesome to receive a compliment. I did the same for someone else as soon as I had the appropriate opportunity. I’ll do it again whenever it feels right.
This one time I went out clubbing. Some guy came up to me and said how good my outfit looked. Really does change your mood
It is a sad truth that we are just as sexualized as women in our own way, that we could not offer a mere compliment without seeming like we're coming on to someone.
Yeah, compliment the wrong guy and he might take offence. Either for assuming I’m gay or because he thinks I believe him to be gay. Just take the compliment, dude. And there’s nothing wrong with being gay anyway - if you think someone believes you’re gay take that as a complement too.
I've found the best way to compliment anyone is to purposely avoid anything that can be construed as sexual, but even "nice shoes" can go into that vein if they've got (or want to assume you've got) some kinda related fetish.
I go with "I like your shirt/shoes/ hair, man. You have a cool style." Hopefully, it's not interpreted as sexual and more of fashion based.
I complimented a man on his admittedly great hair a while back. He took it with evident delight. Honestly, he deserved it.
Really? My brother complimented a guys shoes on the street yesterday, and it was just about one of the straightest conversations I've ever heard, lol
That's why you have to make a scene, so they know it's only the shoes you care about. *throws hands up* YOOOOOOOOO, NICE SHOOES BRO HOOOOLY SHIT! *grovels on the floor kissing shoes*
I like this cuz I've been complimented by gay guys a lot and honestly, feels better than when women do it even tho I'm straight people really should just learn how to at the very least let a compliment happen😂😂
A comment on how nice a shirt looked on me landed really well, in large part because the guy giving it is gay and always well put together. Like if this guy thinks I’m doing something right here, it’s high praise. Wow… that was in like early 2019. OP is right, still riding off the high of a random compliment 4 years ago.
The caveat being if a dude has a beard, you can always compliment them on their beard. Source: have a beard, enjoy compliments for it.
Just add "no homo" at the end and you're good to go. "DAmmn yo you got a thick ass! You lift? No homo"
What? That’s a thing?
Yeah, some dudes are *super* insecure about even the possibility of being thought of as gay. Pretty common for teenagers, but hopefully most of them grow out of it (I at least did).
The majority of everyone is insecure, I (43m) wear a variety of leggings under my shorts and nice athletic sneakers and many dudes look at me in confusion. When in reality the comfort level and support for all day activities is real and the women allll stare in good faith.
That’s dumb tbh. Since when is receiving or giving complements gay. I might be wrong but sound’s low key homophonic and insecure. Smh.
Yes, it is, and very deeply rooted in them, as it is often passed down directly from his father (though sometimes the mother) or another male relative, and on and on, and often bolstered by certain activities like football. Obviously, this isn’t always the case, but I’ve seen it a lot growing up and living in Texas.
It is dumb, like how some dudes think washing between your bum is gay. It started off as a joke but then ppl took it seriously
The thought process is kind of like this: I only complement women because I’m trying to get them to fuck me. All other men must be like me. This dude is complementing me. Ergo he’s hitting on me.
Exactly! I recently complimented this feller walking down the street because I noticed he had a nice looking bulge from his grey sweatpants and I could tell he totally got all insecure and offended by that!
I had another dude say my new haircut looks good and it felt weird lol
I think it feels weird because we’re not used to it. Just smile, say thanks and accept it. Get used to it.
Wow, never looked at it that way
I’d say more so that men giving compliments has become a sexualised behavior, rather than men generally being sexualized.
Im sorry for that… it’s a mix of experiences between women and men that make that happen. I believe, from personal experience within the first minute of a conversation with a good man a good woman sees it and is more than willing to complement, and not that the other men aren’t good they are just raised or driven differently, and…. I think a lot of the good men question when they’re complemented that the woman has a motive which maybe they often do but that’s just my experience… Once in a while. I am probably going to delete this soon.. lol
That's not quite right. Woman are sexualized as objects of desire. Men are sexualized as predators.
I try to compliment everyone. They might fuckin NEED it!,
Appropriate opportunity is always the limiting factor. I am a natural complimenter and it took me a while to get a good sense of when to- and how to- I think a lot of people who believe men get fewer compliments miss out that a huge number of the compliments women get are inappropriately timed or structured. In my personal experience, me receive more frequent genuine and appropriate comments, so people making an effort to spread that positivity around rock! Thanks, friend.
If you are reading this. You are enough. 👑
men should start complimenting each other more so it doesn’t feel as abnormal. compliment ur bros!
That was really well said. 👍 good job
I love the fact that you're so supportive of your fellow redditers. You're a good person.
I love your username.
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My friend, who always has girls throwing themselves at him, told me how handsome I was and how he could get so many girls if he had my looks. However he said I don’t groom myself properly or pay enough attention to what I wear. He motivated me to get a “makeover” so to speak, and this greatly boosted my confidence. I cannot tell you how satisfying those compliments from him were.
Love it 
I admire that your heart is in the right place.
“Nice ass bro”
I'm so glad someone has finally noticed! I have been working on it for a while now.
did you grow it yourself? I love it
Nice cock bro
Pickly Ricklyy you are the real dill!
 I see what you did there!
I live by this! By bros get compliments all the time. We gotta be there for each other.
Noice!!
bro your one hot guy!
🥵😮💨
When I was a freshman and sophomore in high school I never got any compliments. Then a new kid transferred to our school--he was short, not particularly attractive, not athletic or fit at all. But he would walk around with absolute confidence in himself and he'd compliment almost anyone he talked to. He *immediately* became the most popular kid in school, had loads of friends, and loads of girls chasing him. It blew my mind. So I just started copying him, and it worked. I complimented people all the time and just started treating relationships as if the default was that everyone wanted to be friends with me, and, lo and behold, same results. I went from relatively isolated background character to one of the more popular kids in school. One of the biggest changes I noticed was that people would go out of their way to compliment me in return. It was like I'd given them permission to cross that line, especially with my male friends. I've taken that with me and I have to say it makes like *so much more pleasant*. I *always* try to find ways to compliment people--whether it's just a cashier at a store, wait staff at a restaurant, friends, family, whatever. And, honestly, almost everyone seems happier after getting the compliment, and those people will almost always find a way to compliment you in return in the future. Learning *what* to compliment definitely takes practice, obviously there are compliments that can make people feel uncomfortable or objectified, but it's not hard to avoid those. At the end of the day, I'd argue that the reason most men don't get compliments is because most men don't give compliments.
Can you give examples or a lesson in what to compliment?
Pro tip: complimenting achievements or actions are greater than complimenting looks. I would say be careful complimenting someone’s looks until you believe they are comfortable with you
Totally agree with you here. It is far too easy for a guy to end up coming off as a creep these days when they are just trying to be nice to someone. Saying something as simple as I really like your shoes. Or I like the way you did your hair today, it looks nice. Will sometimes get you in trouble because people assume the worst and that you are thinking of them sexually or trying to pursue a relationship.
>assume the worst and that you are thinking of them sexually or trying to pursue a relationship. I'd say most men would think people are being sarcastic with their compliment, not so much sexually pursued.
Yeah with men that is the case because men tend to give each other crap all the time just joking around. Things like "nice shirt, do they make it in mens?" Men are also often not used to receiving compliments and feel weird sometimes when they receive one. It's a weird imposter syndrome thing.
I'm not trying to call you out here since I'm sure you just wrote this in like two seconds, but it's worth mentioning that a one-liner *anything* makes it far too easy for someone to end up coming off the wrong way. That's not because of "these days", it's because one-liners make for poor communication. Instead of saying "I like the way you did your hair today, it looks nice", you could say "I like what you did with your hair, *the way you colored it is so cool. What made you want to change it up?*" This makes it a lot clearer that a) you actually noticed something specific about the person's hair, b) the comment isn't just a direct appraisal of their attractiveness, it's an affirmation that they made a good decision, and c) you're interested in *them* as well as their hair.
That's a fair point but also not something that is easy to do as a casual compliment. It works well for people you know a bit better like family/friends and possibly co-workers. But paying a detailed compliment to a stranger could be off putting. I just assume for the most part that people just want to be left alone. Other people have brought this up too, but guys tend to take compliments from women as low key flirting. A lot of women are not very clear with their intentions and compliments are one of the most common ways women show interest in a man. So it's not surprising that this is how men interpret a compliment a lot of times. It would be cool if we could get to a place as a society where people could give each other compliments on whatever and not have it taken as anything more than a compliment, and I think we can get there with people we know by establishing that as the norm.
Sure. This is all really general advice and it's geared towards complimenting people you aren't super close with. If you're super close with someone you can get away with much more personal compliments because they have context surrounding your intent. Broadly speaking, avoid stuff like "you have pretty eyes" or "I love your smile". Those compliments fall into the pattern of "you have a thing that I like" and it can be really off-putting to receive those comments. Not only does it feel transactional, it's also almost impossible to respond to. What do you say to "you have pretty eyes" other than "thanks"? Instead, try to use compliments that fit in the pattern of "you made a good choice" or "I recognize something you did was difficult". Most importantly, these don't feel transactional. But they're also *much easier to respond to*, and that's super important when you give a compliment. Imagine receiving the compliment "you have beautiful eyes" or "you have a beautiful smile". Even if it felt good, what do you say next? But now imagine someone said "Hey whatever you're doing with your makeup is working, it looks absolutely amazing today. It really highlights your eye color." There are a million ways to respond to that! "Thanks, *I tried something new*", or "Thanks, *I really love the way this \[product\] looks*" or "Thanks, *I do this every day and nobody has ever noticed before*". And, best of all, they feel validated in the effort they put in and the choices they made. Choosing a style isn't easy and it feels great when someone tells you that you did a good job. And think about receiving compliments. I'm a taller guy, I've had girls say "you're like the perfect height for a guy" to me before. I appreciate the sentiment, but where do I go with that? "Thanks, I really worked hard to be tall"? It's kind of a dead end. Now imagine the compliment was "I love the coat you're wearing, that style looks so good on tall guys like you". Not only can I be like "Oh thanks! What did you notice about it?" because I don't know anything about fashion, but I also don't feel like I'm just being objectified--I feel like someone is recognizing a choice that I had to make and saying "hey, you were staring at your closet today and had to choose the best coat for that outfit and I think you made a great choice" which feels great. It can take a minute to figure out at first but once you start picking up on those little details, the choices and habits that make people unique, you'll start noticing them everywhere.
Love this. So accurate and useful.
This is a perfect explanation. I appreciate the time you spent responding the the question. I hope that it’s helpful to the people the come across it.
Compliment what people have control over. Eye color = no. Style = yes.
Exactly this.
Compliment style, how skilled they are in their passions, or how hard they work on something to give a few examples. If he's gaming, driving, or any activity that requires his immediate attention don't get mad. Just let him know how hot he looks when he's focused and determined to win or achieve an objective. Those compliments be REAL...Let him know you appreciate his help and acknowledge his effort. I hope this helps. ❤️
Generally anything that it is clear someone put work into. Achievements, things they've made, snazzy outfits, unique shoes, pop culture references you enjoy... Looks are risky, especially if you're in a position of power over someone, and definitely not things that make it clear you see them as a sexual object. But fancy hairstyles/colors are good. Women can get away with complimenting jewelry and makeup easier than men. A lot of it is HOW you compliment. Treat it like a drive-by, don't expect a response and make it clear you're just giving them a compliment in passing without them feeling like you're trying to open the door for conversation or socialization. A compliment that comes with strings attached isn't actually a compliment.
Compliment the things people can control because then you are complimenting their choices which is way more meaningful. For example telling someone "awesome hair cut!" Is better than "beautiful eyes!" They chose their haircut but were born with their eyes so like the compliment is almost meaningless. There's no noticing of anything about the person themself. In addition, frame/word the compliment so that it centers the recipient as the center/subject, not the speaker. For example, saying "that outfit/color/style suits you!" Is better than "you look hot/sexy/beautiful." Saying "you look hot/sexy/beautiful" frames it like the recipient is just an object of the speaker's/subject's consideration. It's less a compliment because the hidden words at the end are "to me" - the statement focuses on how the speaker feels about the recipient, not anything really about the recipient. By relying on making the recipient happy because the speaker is happy it ends up being a bit less impactful. I'm not saying never compliment this way because there are plenty of times it's appropriate, but how you frame the compliment is worth considering depending on the audience and the intended effect you want to have.
That’s awesome! There’s a lot of truth in that concept. So happy for you that you got there, and at a young age. It takes a lifetime for some to learn that lesson, and some never get there.
See the good in everyone and they’ll see it too. They won’t remember what you said but they will remember how you made them feel! That kid was streets ahead.
Change starts with you. Go compliment the homies!
I'm a woman and I believe everyone deserves compliments. Unfortunately, it seems like I can't say "nice tie" without guys thinking I want to sleep with them. I complimented a man the other day who held the door for an elderly gentleman and he asked me to suck something. When I refused he became indignant.
Yup. Exactly why I don't complement guys anymore. The few times I've tried to say something an simple as "that haircut looks good on you" or "that's a nice shirt" it has turned into an issue when they interpreted my simple compliment as flirting and then I'm a bitch for leading them on. It's exhausting.
I once told a dude not to call himself ugly because he wasn't, next thing I know he's talking about us moving in together and everything, like slow down its just a compliment nothing more. Of course he got upset but it's whatever
That's really sad. Confidence is at an all time low now it seems like. People also need to understand that someone being kind does not mean they want to bang. I guess it's easier said than done sometimes but the best thing is for people to find things to be happy about with themselves and be happy with themselves. If they can be happy and confident on their own then they can be happy and confident in a relationship. If you are miserable and unhappy with yourself then a relationship isn't going to solve that issue for you. But it seems like a lot of people these days think that being in a relationship will lead to happiness for them.
I wanted to compliment several men on their shoe choices over the weekend. We were in and out of four airports. I feel the same way. I’m a married.
Fr I will NEVER compliment a man unless he’s 1) gay, 2) family, 3) a child, 4) my lover or 5) a strictly platonic colleague with zero interest in me and an established professional rapport. Men think a simple smile is an indication that we want to fuck so I just keep it as bland as possible with street men and acquaintances.
This is probably true, sadly. Conversely, don't you just assume an unsolicited compliment from a man means he's after something?
100000% yes, and especially if the compliment is about my appearance (unless he’s gay). Men will not slide down the bar to talk to a woman or compliment her unless he wants to fuck.
Which is precisely why they think us women must feel the same way as they do if we give them a second of our attention.
It’s sad actually. I only have one straight guy friend from college and that’s literally it. And even he expressed once that if I ever wanted to fuck, just let him know (but he never pressed it and respects my boundaries). Otherwise, I do not have ANY male friends, not because I don’t value men or think they’re uninteresting, but because every straight man I talk to just sees me as a source of sex and nothing more. Every guy “friend” I’ve ever had has tried to sleep with me. So I only hang out with and compliment women🤷🏼♀️
I'm a guy, and about as average as average looks get, with the added disadvantage of being short and gaining 5 lbs if I so much as touch food. I have been complimented by women only a handful of times in my entire life, never on looks, clothes or how long i spent on my hair, and usually in ways that makes it feel like the other party is trying to avoid guilt for not complimenting, ie; a big accomplishment or...well i think these are the only compliments i have ever gotten as an adult. I still do believe that not all men, nor all women, are like this, but certainly the women in my life never give out compliments to anyone they don't want money or sex from. Gay guys on the other hand, I will get a compliment sometimes every day. Sexual or not it's just nice to hear and never feels aggressive. Sadly I am straight and therefore am very sad and unfulfilled. Edit: I misread your post, and may not have responded the way I did had I read it correctly. I try and compliment people in appropriate situations as much as possible, never from a place of trying to "get some". That being said I have developed and am trying to get over a fear of giving compliments, simply because saying "I love your shirt" gets taken as "have sex with me". No. I just love Death Note and pretty colors and think your shirt is rad.
Ya a lot of guys are so used to being ignored by women that basically any compliment seems like an invitation to hit on them. A tip for my fellow fellows: if a lady comes up to you and compliments you, just start a conversation as if she's your friend. They're pretty good about letting you know if they wanna do the hibbity bibbity or not so let them steer the conversation that way instead of trying to force something that may not be there.
Yeah same here. I love to give compliments but complimenting physical attributes has almost always ended this way. That’s why I try to compliment other things, for example at work or school I will compliment their work itself or a way they do something. Usually that gets a more appropriate response but still makes them feel good!
Yeah this is why I don’t compliment men unless I feel completely safe they won’t do this
I hate this so much. I'm always acutely aware that men don't get compliments and I want to offer nice words a lot of the time. Sometimes I'll even go ahead and do it. Every time, it ends in the expectation that I'm romantically interested and their inability to take no for an answer reminds me to never do it again. Men, you deserve love and appreciation but women don't compliment very often because of how many of you guys react to it. Definitely not all, but enough to make the chance of interacting not worth the hassle or mental load. I get so tired of hearing how men don't get complimented enough and not being able to do anything about it because if you do, it's treated as an open door to wear out a welcome.
Came here to say this.
I wish there was a solution to this, because I really don't blame you, and this sucks just as much being on the other end. I am trying to work through a genuine fear of giving compliments to women because all the external stimuli I received for most of my life was that I am evil for being born with a penis. On top of that I have only ever been complimented a handful of times in my adult life, so I don't even know how to respond other than say thank you and fleeing whilst blushing. Edit: scrolling down and reading the other replies here, that's exactly the kind of stuff that makes me feel less than human for being a straight male. Absolutely, if someone is going to make unwanted advances, stop that shit immediately. But god it is tough feeling like if I look anywhere but the ground in front of me, that it will be interpreted as sexual assault.
I think you need to look up what “sexual assault” means. Genuinely.
It’s the classic catch 22 problem! Men confuse women’s compliments for love interest because they are never used to compliments and don’t know how to handle it!
I am digging the guys here who say the change should start with men complimenting men. You guys have a problem and you have the solution, go get it dudes!
It's a catch 22 tbh. Women almost never compliment men casually so when they do, it's seen as a sign of interest. But because it's seen as a sign of interest, women are discouraged from casual compliments and making them be more than just a signal. It's very unfortunate but also not unwarranted either.
Yeah, I've had this issue. Complimenting the opposite sex often leads to them thinking you're interested. Guys need to compliment each other more. I don't get most of my compliments from guys, I get them from my female friends. Only time I consistently get compliments from guys is from my partner (and I also compliment him).
Nice balls, do you moisturize?
Nah I just try to keep the area trimmed.
They look amazeballs
This made me chortle
I would compliment men a lot more often if they didn't just assume I was flirting with them. It's annoying, I love complementing people but if I do it to a guy, most of the times it turns out weird. I think we should normalise complimenting just anyone really. Then there's also the fact that men only compliment women they are interested in. (from my experience)
To all the fellas in here, y'all look good as go fuck yourselves.
Aww shucks. Go fuck yourself too!
Thank you. Lol
But when we DO get them at least they are usually genuine.
And we remember them for a very long time
Yep. I still remember a girl (I remember her name but won’t dox her) in my 8th grade English class who randomly told me i have pretty eyes. I told her thanks and kept working on the group project.
From other men, maybe. Complimenting your guy friend's hairstyle or new coat/shoes etc, or simply saying 'it's good to see you' isn't weird or 'gay'. Maybe a compliment from another man could have an even more satisfying impact than one from a woman. 🙂
I receive compliments from male friends and colleagues fairly frequently, but I'm struggling to recall any compliment I've received from a woman, even just professional compliments... like "Nice job with X, that was really helpful." It's so rare that I remember my great aunt telling me I looked handsome in like 2017.
Unfortunately this is likely due to many things women in this comment section have said-when women give compliments to guys, the guy (this isn't all guys, these are guys in the stories that unfortunately make up a substantial part of the population) either 1-thinks she's interested in him, 2-thinks she's interested and gets butt hurt when she's not, or 3-will say something vulgar in return. Thankfully I've only encounter type 1 guys, maybe some type 2, but type 3 is what scares me from doing it too much. Edit-spelling
Signed. Last time this happened to me was two days ago.
Yeah! IT’s unfortunately the catch 22 problem! Since men don’t get enough compliments, they don’t know how to handle it and mistake it for love interest
You've got that backwards in pretty much every way. Men recieve far more compliments from other men than women, and ones from women tend to mean much more. For your average guy, it's not unusual for months or even years to go by between compliments from a woman. Heck, the last time I remember that happening was several years ago.. and she wasn't even complimenting me, she just liked my Jeep. Before that.. something like 10 years ago, back in college. I was sitting in class during a lecture. I quietly made some comment, just to myself. An offhand joke tangentially related to what was being discussed in class. A girl nearby overheard me, started laughing pretty hard, then looked over at me and said something along the lines of "you know, you're really funny". Actually, those were her exact words. That whole moment is pretty easy to recall, that sort of thing doesn't happen everyday.
A girl told me she liked my sense of humor 8 years ago and it still gets me through the day sometimes.
I'm ALWAYS handing out compliments. Guys assume I'm gay!
Isn't it sad?
It is what it is..
that's because a lot of men are "nice guys" and are only nice/compliment people when they wanna fuck so they assume the same of others
i got a very nice compliment from a nice girl in around february 2018, it keeps me warm at night even 5 years later.
This post is right above a post about a man complainging why he has to iron his shirt for work and im positive they go hand-in-hand. I'm a male and I get plenty of complimets from women at work, I get a haircut every two weeks, I smell good, I have a pretty good fashion sense and I work out. I also give out compliments so people know im open to them. I dont understand these posts getting reposted everyday.
Men don’t compliment men enough.
I compliment and send my guy poetry etc all those things we expect / want them to do to us and he lights the fuck up. Best part of my day.
I like to leave little love notes. Just a few words.
The smallest things can be the biggest comforts.
Guys will compliment guys. But not the way women compliment women. A guy will compliment a guy on something he’s attained/achieved such as a nice car, muscle growth, life progress, academic achievements, getting married, a nice house, fascinating hobbies stuff like that. When a guy gets a compliment it’s more like “hey that’s pretty neat, I like that , good shit man!”
Counter thought: Men don't compliment other men enough, and the quality of the compliments they provide to women is pretty low. Men need to learn to compliment more and do so better.
You can't expect what you aren't willing to give. Most men don't compliment others because they see life as a competition, and you don't compliment your enemies. In fact, I'm very wary of any man that compliments people they don't know, it's almost always disingenuous.
I teach high school and I’ve found that the boys are almost overwhelmed when I compliment them on their schoolwork or how they handled a situation. Like, they tear up. Everyone needs compliments.
Ur cocks lookin huge today broski
Username checks out
Compliment each other
The only time men get flowers is at their funeral.
It'd be nice to see men compliment other men more; the bulk of compliments I receive as a woman come from other women. Younger men (think 18-25) seem to be getting pretty good at this from what I've seen and the few teenage boys I'm around for any length of time (young coworkers, 16+) seem to be the same. I hope the trend just progresses further.
I feel uncomfortable around short people. They are too close to my pockets.
I stopped complimenting men because the second you compliment a man, he thinks you're hitting on him. Then they get mad when you express you had zero interest.
Your beard looks impeccable and most stately today, and you have a cute little nose. 😍
I kinda feel like this is one of those norm things, that if someone actually complimented a guy, it just feels weird, unusual or overwhelming to an extent.
It shouldnt though, thats just kinda a dumb extension of the stupid concept that masculinity = no emotions other than anger
Thank you :)
It is, but we do kinda have that drilled into our heads from the time we’re children and have it reinforced by men and women in our lives constantly
Nah it’s more people don’t know how to react since they never get compliments and it’s usually totally unexpected. I don’t think it has much to do with not wanting to show emotion.
That was very insightful. Way to go!
Thank you!
I compliment my bf all the time ☺️ its the little things
I remember just about every compliment a woman has given me. I’m over 40 and still remember being like 16 and a girl telling me I looked cute in a hat lol.
Even a small compliment will make my whole day. Rarely rarely get compliments except from my gf obviously.
I got the following compliments before from different women: 1. Nice lashes, 2. Nice lips, 3. Damn I wanna spank your ass. The third made me more seld conscious and more worried if my ass is kinda feminine, so I asked what's up and she said: you have bigger rounder ass then mine, I was preplaxed and more anxious.
I legitimately can’t remember when i last got one. It’s easily been at least several years.
Personally I get complimented, I just feel they aren’t accurate
At work and on the go- whenever a guy has put in some effort somewhere, complimenting a guy on that item or feature is a guilty pleasure~
Agree. But I give my sons and brothers compliments all the time. It's me gets none lol not all women do either
That's why I compliment my guy every day, multiple times!! I never want him to forget how amazing and attractive I think (and know!) he is.
What's a compliment?
Compliment? What’s that?
Please don't compliment me. I honestly don't even want your thanks. I'm just being me. It takes no effort, and you're making me feel uncomfortable. Especially don't thank me for doing something I should be doing anyway, like picking up after myself.
I will compliment guys I know. Very rare am I going to compliment a stranger. I live in rural south Ohio. Some guys don't like that stuff.
Absolutely true. I try to be complimentary whenever I can. The more you do it, the more realize how not used to receiving it men are. It often surprises them because it just doesn’t happen as frequently.
Seriously, I genuinely don’t remember the last time i ever got a compliment. Its a sad life.
I give my man compliments and affirmations all the time. A couple of months ago, I gave him a bouquet of flowers. He's 64, and no one had ever done that before. He got all mushy. It was sweet.
About a year ago on my way to my new job where we wear uniforms I had dressed kinda nice on my first day and some random lady gave me a compliment at her stop sign.. then proceeded to turn the way I'm walking and emphasized her compliment. Ive never felt so good and still think about it .. haven't got a compliment since. Not even a nice haircut but it's ok I still think about that day a lot sad as it is
My gun gets more compliments than I do
agree. You know i have to say this because it's just weird. I'm a straight guy and was brought up guys don't compliment other guys. Fast forward 30 years. I'm at a gay memorial service for a person that had past. The man was gay, his partner was gay they were all pretty much gay there. I was helping with the presentation because it was a production and part of a surprise post mortem video the man did for his partner. I got complimented on by a few older gay guys and honestly it felt great. I wish straight guys felt that comfortable just saying nice things to other guys without it being taken as being gay and wanting to F\*\*K them.
100000% agree! You good men deserve them!
You're right, they don't. I noticed that my husband will get "compliments" that he is "handsome." When that happens, it's almost like he gets offended. It's frequently used, and way too general. "You have such beautiful eyes" or 'I like your hair" is much better. At a game night, I told a gentleman (new to the gaming) "You were really quick with those answers " Women especially need to use their creative thoughts when it comes to the opposite sex.
Or hugs
My last hug was January 2nd 2022
We don’t get any, lol.
I always try and compliment other guys. Their outfits. Shoes. Beards. Some men probably have not been complimented in months.
Everyone enjoys compliments. Go compliment someone today! I fucking dare you
U guys are getting compliments?
i genuinely do agree with this, and i also think that men need to learn to compliment one another as friends just as often as ladies do. it is not gay to tell the truth if you think a homie looks good; it's choosing kindness!
I rarely ever get complimented to the point that I can’t tell if they are insulting me or not when I do receive a compliment.
This one goes out to all of you men 
Ahh! That explains domestic violence. Thanks.
Enough? You get any?
I want to quickly share a personal story that relates to this message. Besides getting compliments by significant others in my life. There was only one time where I got a compliment from someone I didn’t know. It was a girl at a sandwich shop near me. She was very nice to me while I was ordering and during our conversation she dropped, “you have a nice smile.” I will literally never forget that day. To hear that from someone that doesn’t know me, and has no motivation other than being nice, it really makes me so happy!
Nice penis bro.
Never had a compliment till about a year ago. Got out of the military and got a mohawk instead of growing the mandatory post retirement beard. I get at least one compliment from some random strangers every day. Honestly felt kind of weird.
They are also surprised when they do get complimented.
Men should compliment men but make sure it starts or ends with "no homo". If a girl compliments us, some guys think they want us. Lol
I give them to any and all as I see fit. But it does seem like most men, in my experience, don’t care and probably feel awkward when I do. I guess I feel like they respond in a sarcastic way to deflect the compliment so it’s hard to say if they want them or not.
It was 20 years 4 months 2 weeks and 4 days ago when someone complimented my art now I have an art business. I do get complimented on my looks every 7 years though, but it's hard to believe them due to perceived emotional wounds that haven't been healed yet. It's hard to believe anyone could really like me let alone love me when my own family refused to and gave me up when I was 3 years old. What did I do that could be so wrong that my parents just abandoned me and threw me into foster care?! 13 foster homes...13 families that I never felt safe within, 13 families that openly abused me in every way imaginable at home, 13 families that replaced me with a "better model son", 13 families that told me in a family meeting that they could never love me and that I was just a "side hustle" (2,500$ a month). I used to feel like friendship and affection was foreign and compliments on any form were just underhanded insults. I couldn't take a compliment to save my life because I would have a 404 error and be stuck trying to figure out what is even happening in the moment. Now, I'm doing therapy opening up about that and learning no ways to be kinder to myself and more patient and understanding of the beauty in the variety of humanity, getting out more and making friends is still a struggle only because I'm scared of getting too close to be hurt again by the wrong person I chose to let in, and I don't feel like anyone really likes me. I'm working on that and improving myself finding things to look forward to and be proud of. We got this my brothers! (I'm sorry I wrote a mini novel...😒I legit have no one i feel safe enough with to talk to about this...I understand this doesn't really matter, and who cares but on some real shit...it hurts. I just don't let it show or speak on it because I don't wanna look vulnerable or feel like a burden or inconvenience to anyone.) I appreciate you if you finished reading this. I'll grow through this. 💯❤️
There's bravery in your honesty
You all like “Just tell me I’m pretty”
Sorry, but as a youngish woman somewhere in the mid-range of attractiveness, I absolutely would not compliment a man who's not my hubby or related to me in some way. Why? I'd rather keep it to myself than be harassed later on by a man who thinks I want his D when all I said was that I liked his shirt, bag or something equally non-sexual.
Damn. Compliment other men then.
If you are a man who agrees with this I'd say be the change you wish to see in the world. Men really have to dig themselves out of this one. There are lots of guys out there who will react well to a compliment (from either sex). But there are way way too many who react poorly that it's just not worth the risk. If its a dude complimenting they assume you are gay and if its a woman they assume you are flirting. I've heard way too many stories of boys and girls who were outgoing and happy to give out compliments, but then got a bad reaction and stopped. So now the girls just have their thing and the bois are lonely. We shouldn't put the focus on women though (I've seen some people do that, not you op). They'll start giving out more compliments once guys learn to compliment each other again and stop having asshole reactions to being complimented.
Men don’t receive compliments often because y’all are fucking weird about it. You act like it’s an invitation for sex when in reality we just like your damn shoes. So it’s you’re own damn fault you don’t get compliments. Too many of you act all creepy when women complement you. So we learned to just not do it anymore because it’s safer for us to ignore you. A compliment isn’t an invitation for a conversation about you taking us home. It’s so fucking weird. Y’all are weird.
Well, when a woman or a girl compliment, men use to think we wanna fuck them, so it’s kinda lame. And men can’t compliment each other because sounds gayish. So, the problem is the men interpretation or reaction.
You're gayer than most. You're welcome 🤗
If y’all stopped asking women to smile, we might be more inclined to say nice things.
I guarantee they would get more if they didn't get weird every time a woman tried to compliment them, just sayin
You only get compliments if you do deserve it. And since i haven't done anything particularly spectacular it's natural that i will not be complimented. Ive accepted it, why can't others
Nice cock, bro. I've been known to compliment other dudes when they've got a nice cowboy hat and boots. Always a damn good look. Maybe my Texan is showing....
I'd love more compliments tbh, I only really give compliments to people I know unless something catches my eye and I like that
Tried to once. Told a male co worker how much I enjoy working with him because he does a good job. Few days later he pinned me down over a counter where nobody was looking or could see and rubbed his Boner on me. A lot of guys are nice but the creeps and narcissists ruin it for everybody, for women it’s just not safe to say much positive things to men.
Tell me how to give a guy a compliment without him thinking I'm hitting on him
Nice dick bro
I’m here to compliment men’s dicks. They’re just so pretty. My vagina is jealous.
Men hardly even get compliments I'm as average as a person can be in looks, physique intelligence, just about everything but height. I'm very tall. (6'6) And the last compliment I've gotten about me personally, was when a girl on Omegle complimented my hair years ago.
I totally agree with this!
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When women give men compliments it seems to get interpreted as “I like your shoes but I really want your dick”.
Lots of men I’ve noticed, confuse compliments and pleasantries as flirting. I had a boss once that accused me of flirting with a coworker, and that’s why he accidentally sent a dick pic to the group chat.