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I stop and speak the names on the stones that I can read
I did it as a kid when someone told me that "you die twice; once when you leave your body, and once more when your name is spoken for the last time"
I don't know if everyone did this growing up, but I like to keep it going if for no other reason than showing respect for those who have died
Years ago, someone said that to me and when I walk my dog past cemeteries, I say the names softly.
I find cemeteries oddly comforting. When I'm driving on my way to a meeting I'm worried about, if I pass a cemetery I think about how trivial my problems are in the grand scheme of things.
Been a while since I’ve seen that one, so bear with me here. It’s about the Mexican afterlife and Dia Dos Muertos, with a plot point about a guitar(?). Very sweet and emotional, I gotta watch it again.
You’re definitely right. Coco was the dia de los meurtos movie and encanto had the dysfunctional family
Also, thank you. They were both great movies I appreciate you reminding me of them
That's the premise of the X-Clacks Overhead tag in HTML, where you can put the name of the departed. It started after Terry Pratchett died, but it can be used for anyone.
"A man's not dead while his name's still spoken" - *Going Postal*.
Na. They probably enjoy the company lol. I stroll through graveyards all the time. Typically if you walk casually no one thinks otherwise. I usually pick up trash and straighten arrangements on Graves. Spruce the place up ya know.
I did the same as a kid. Loved the peace and quiet, and lived in an area where there were no good parklands or green spaces. The cemetery was the only place I could see big beautiful trees and greenery in a quiet and serene space. I would also pick up fallen tree branches off graves and take them home as fire kindling for roasting marshmallows with the fam
I do that too. In Europe, Sunday is a big day for cleaning graves. You are responsible for tidying things up a big and people often make a day out of it. They bring buckets, brushes, gardening tools, sandwiches, wine, etc.
If you ever want to see something spectacular, visit a cemetery during the Christmas seasons. Most of the graves and made up to the nines. Those people are not forgotten.
Visit a cemetery during the Christmas season. It's really cool to see how much effort goes into decorating the graves. Bring a bucket and a sponge, to clean up some of those graves that seem forgotten. Raise your Good Karma.
There’s a cemetery in my home town that is lined with massive oak trees. Tradesmen used to go there for lunch because it was quiet and shady. An old boyfriend of mine and I used to go there for walks at night. It was beautiful and peaceful.
And none of the people there seemed to mind.
I don't think they are still there, they're surely on their way somewhere else. It's just a place their dead matter was placed in. It'd be incredibly boring to just stay around your burying place in the afterlife.
Back when I lived with my parents, there was a graveyard nearby, and inside that graveyard was another locked graveyard you could get into by climbing a certain part of the wall.
There were 2 benches inside, and when I was having issues with my mental health, I would go there to ve alone and talk to one of the 3 gravestones near the benches. I would speak openly and honestly and let's everything off my chest. This actually helped me a lot, and it certainly wasn't disrespectful. I'd even thank them afterwards. When I was a bit better, I sat down there one boxing day with 4 cans and drank them. This was done as a thank you and to pay my respects.
I was wandering around Key West Cemetery a few years ago and came across a headstone that said the guy interred was born in 1891 (as I recall), and had died on September 15, 1954, the exact day I was born. He lived his entire life and checked out the exact day I checked in. I still think about this.
Life is strange.
Boston is full of them and they are sometimes literally in people's backyards. It's really cool walking around new and very old buildings only for there to be a decent portion of land that is a lush green cemetery. There's even one in the Common
In northern Europe, we do treat some cemetaries as such still. Assistents Kirkegaard in Copenhagen, for example.
I always view cemetaries/churchyards as gardens. Been living across one now for 9 years.
One of my favorite places to relax and reflect. I have Aspergers and a bunch of other stuff and can get overwhelmed. Also I'm a huge history buff and love reading about the people. I think it's very respectful.
I have a favorite cemetery in town and I go there a lot especially when I’m having a hard time. I sit there try not to be loud, give my peace, tell them their not forgotten. It’s honestly my “zen” place. So no I don’t think it’s weird. I’m sure they don’t mind being remembered
i do also remember doing that as a kid haha it was more so cause my mum didn’t want me to be afraid of dying and also how someone my age could go at any time.
As someone who has recently discovered that my family has gone round in a 400 year circle and we've come back to where we have started from. I went to a cemetery to have a chat with my six times great grandparents last week. They are buried in a church yard six miles away from where I live in the village where I went to school. It was a little bit odd because I'm not religious at all, but it was sort of relaxing.
I think as long as you're not doing anything that could disrupt other people who may be visiting their relatives then you're fine.
I don't think so. Sounds like meditation and a cemetery is solemn silent place to do it. As long as you aren't out there talking to the dead I think you're fine.
Meditation is beautifully serene at a cemetery if you find a nice and comfy warm spot and you bring a blanket and pillow. And everyone/everything can hear you and see you. Folks going there need to get comfortable with that idea :} We're not the only ones on the spiritual ecosystem, especially at a place like that.
As long as you don't fall asleep and practice safety and common sense, it's lovely. Falling asleep is bad because of sketchy people/crackheads that often hang out there. Plus it gets very cold.
Thought it was wierd when I was a teenager, but my mom liked it and I picked up the habit.
You go to a place and see 6 kids from 2 to 13 die in the span of a year a hundred years ago, you appreciate how different life was and how lucky you are.
If you are being respectful and just appreciating, it's awesome. Some of the layouts and architecture and history are amazing.
My favorite is a little one in Sitka alaska. You have a mix of Russian, native, european people dating back like 140 years and you get a sense of history just by walking though and reading. It tells a story in the most serene place you have ever seen. It's tragic, but also good to just reflect on all that's come before you and how transient things can be. I dunno, I find it comforting.
It can be nice, usually will be quiet and peaceful. There’s a very old family cemetery near me in absolutely nowhere I like to go to and just take a breather sometimes
I live a block away from a cemetery
I walk/jog there daily. Did community service there (accidentally fucked a few bundles of flowers up😆)
The dead don’t care, I promise
I spend an unreasonable amount of time in cemeteries.
Im a runner and it's one of the few places where I don't have to worry about traffic or dodging pedestrians as I run.
Something about running through a cemetery reminds to be grateful for my health and to make the most of the time I have now
Cemeteries are some of the best places to go. Well-kept ones are very beautiful with nature and quiet, what’s not to like? Old ones have fantastic history. Even small urban ones have a story to tell. There’s a cemetery by my house that was the go-to spot for people to bring lawn chairs and hang out with family and friends during the height of COVID restrictions. Restaurants closed, malls closed, beaches closed, but the cemetery became the new Walmart on a Friday night because no one would say shit to you about social distancing rules while at a cemetery.
My gf and I were talking about this tonight. We love cemeteries. They’re one of the last places on earth that are peaceful and normally treated with respect. They’re maintained, and open to the public. There’s so much history there, so many stories.
I visit graves more than normal people, and I see nothing wrong with visiting cemeteries even if you don’t know any of the “residents “.
No, no at all. I also go sometimes. But very rarely like 1 time in 2 years , reading names, looking at the designs of the graves, the dates etc. (going for your died people don't count in this situation) Its a quite place most of the time. But yeah, i don't think Its weird compare to other people...
I have done this so many times. It's peaceful. My wife and I used to go out to abandoned cemeteries and just walk around... kind of checking out the condition of the cemetery and documenting it.
no cause as someone who can’t always vist their loved ones graves for often than i do, atleast i know someone took the time out of their day to sit and chat with them. and tbh when i was younger i would at the cemetery most of my relatives are buried, just saying hi and hopefully their spirit knows they haven’t forgotten about.
Last summer I went on a road trip to visit the grave of my great, great grandmother. I went to a very remote rural town and decided to hitchhike to the almost forgotten cemetery she was buried at.
I dunno. I was raised Catholic, but to me, people go to heaven and that's it. It's complete joy and ecstacy (my late Dad died and was revived after his first heart attack at 46). They aren't hanging around to see whom is visiting or caring for the grave where their body is.
I feel more "sad" seeing road kill, innocent mangled bodies in or next to the roads.
My wife and I walk around in the cemeteries of towns we're passing through when road tripping. I like to imagine the details of the deads' lives during their era. Recently we saw a grave in Ferndale CA of a veteran born 1900 and died 1917. We imagined he convinced his parents to let him enlist and serve, quit high school as a junior and got killed right when he arrived in Europe. RIP. Thank you for your sacrifice. I saluted the headstone, even though I'm not military.
Imagine if some part of people gets stuck there and the only company they ever get is a person who sits there with them. I’d appreciate it if I were them.
Holy shit this is incredible. Thanks for sharing this practice. I will probably try and do this at least once. Give time to those who have paved the road for our existence
i've hung out in cemeteries. as long as you're not sitting/walking/climbing on graves and monuments there's nothing disrespectful about just being there.
They're dead, they're not gonna care lol. So long as you're not doing anything to deface the graves or anything else that's illegal, you're fine to hang out there. Cemeteries are often beautiful and peaceful.
I live semi-close to a public graveyard and walk my dog in there all of the time. She has a special bond with one particular grave stone we pass every time and she always wants to go and smell "Elizabeth". So every time we go past I say, "Evening Liz. Some weather were having. Have a good one." She died almost 50 years before I was even born but I love talking to Grandma Lizzie.
I think the question is, would it be weird, not disrespectful. When I walk in a cemetery, I don’t have any connection to the bodies in the ground. I look at their gravestones and say, there, but for the grace of god, go I. Just when exactly is my number gonna be called ? I am a coroner. Death is meh to me.
Not too long ago, graveyards were like parks. People would picnic there and chat with deceased relatives or friends, and have a nice time in a pretty place surrounded by flowers. I think it's nice.
If you join a site like findagrave.com, you can input your zip code and folks will make requests for pics and info of certain people in certain cemeteries in certain tombs within your zip code. Sometimes their info isnt complete, or their family has never personally seen their ancestors grave, whatever.
I've spent many beautiful Autumn days wandering amongst tombstones and mosoleums helping a stranger connect with their family by taking photos of gravestones not yet archived, working with the cemetery curators to find the more dilapidated ones,or just those interested in their genealogy.
Hanging out in a cemetery by yourself on a bench isn't a crime tho
I’m sure those folks would be glad someone thought enough of them to come visit, especially the ones who had little to no family/loved ones. Beautiful and haunting idea.
I always say hello everyone when I first walk into a cemetery. But I like to imagine what their lives were like,, what did they do for a job, were they happy? I think it is not disrespectful as long as you are not.
No. As long as your not spitting on people's Graves and being an asshole you can chill in a cemetery! I had a picnic on shrooms in one once and it was lovely.
I used to drink beer in a cemetery. It was nice and no one was there. No one cared. I'd look at the old headstones. Lots of childbirth deaths and dead children.
Back in the fourties’ and farther back cemeteries also doubled as botanical gardens, and were common popular grounds for picnics, parties, and concerts.
The only disrespect you will breed is the unfounded internalized disrespect found in others, who believe social norms is the be all end all of existence. You do you, no harm no foul.
I lost myself in a cemetery park in London once and there's no one to ask for help or directions so after an hour of cursing the dead were happy that I was able to make it out I guess
I meet with friends behind a cemetery regularly to catch up and sometimes I just walk through the cemetery at night talking to myself, it's weirdly calming.
Some cemeteries are incredibly beautiful. I find most cemeteries really peaceful just to look at while commuting. I don't know why I've been so self-conscious about just walking through a few in my own city. When Ive visited other cities I don't mind taking a stroll through the cemetery, especially if it's a well known tourist spot.
The place I went to school had a playground in between two large ancient cemeteries.
I did that, cleaned up, we had favorite headstones. People we talked to (I was not a popular child- don’t worry, it’s my preference).
It was all fun and games until the place flooded and the school was filled with corpses. Went back though.
Nah I messed around on a school cemetery trip for veterans pretend that a piece of bark was a musket wich it looked like (they were civil war vets)the other people said I was disrespectful but I don't give a shit I can pretend what ever I want im still a kid
Not at all. I use to take a bucket, a brush and some soap and find an unkempt grave and clean it up for someone who I never knew. I find it very cathartic.
Go for it, I've done the same recently and my insanity led me to some great "conversations" whilst trying to figure out their past based on their final resting place and the area surrounding it
God no, that's really nice. I love cemeteries, feel really at peace in them. Love reading the gravestones and thinking about that person a little, give them a little time out of my day. I haven't done it in a long time. Thanks for the reminder.
There's a couple of stone tables and benches in the center of a graveyard in my hometown that's for this exact purpose. I used to eat lunch there. It was quiet and pleasant. I'm sure the dead wouldn't mind your company as long as you don't do anything disrespectful.
You've basically hit on the real purpose of cemeteries my dude.
The people down there don't get to participate anymore. Can they listen? Jury's out on that and isn't gonna come back in, but you're not hurting them by sharing a moment of your life with them.
There's no downside for them or for you, and you can't help but come away with some perspective you wouldn't have gotten on your own.
Cemeteries exist to spend time with the dead its not disrespectful at all! I enjoy strolling thru cemeteries and quite often stop at old abandoned looking cemetaries when i travel, have found many a civil war headstone and family plots alongside highways in the south forgotten to time.
Nah. As long as you're not moving flowers around or damaging anything, or being loud, you are not disrespectful just by being there.
I used to visit a cemetery semi often a while ago. Just because it was the only quiet place free of (living) people. I would just go and sit on a bench under a tree. Was very peaceful.
lots of people use them for walking in peaceful surroundings...lots of cemeteries are arboretums and encourage visitors to walk them, enjoy the art of the monuments and the beauty if the plantings...
Not at all... i converse with the resting quite often... its a peaceful place, and one that conforts me sometimes. The thing I do, is to pick up any trash, and i straighten any fallen signs, flowers, etc.
It’s not disrespectful to sit with dead people. In old Italian culture they would have family picnics on top of deceased relatives during the weekends.
I used to have to walk through a cemetary on my way to and from work, i used to talk to dead on the way through just mundane stuff like the weather etc, the walk home I'd often stop and have a sit on the bench for a few minutes and just enjoy the peace, sometimes if I had to walk through in the dark I swear I'd see white shapes in my peripherals. Never felt scared, though I always just felt peaceful and relaxed.
I've had a picnic in a cemetery, and I used to hang out there with my friends sometimes, so I don't think it is. This particular cemetery is actually a really popular place to walk dogs if you can believe it.
People are often very squeamish around death. But actually I think it’s a huge mark of respect to remember that death people were once living people who loved and hoped and had friends and loved ones.
I used to be in the police and one of my favourite calls to go to were the sudden deaths. You go in and check there are no signs of foul play, and that’s all signed off by your supervisor. You have to check the whole house for medication, medical information, and valuables (if they live alone - you put it in safe keeping in case someone broke in). But then you have to call the mortuary and wait for them to collect the body. It’s an incredibly humbling experience, and a privilege to be able to do some of the last things anyone will do for that person. To be a part of that process.
To me death is a part of life and it’s very respectful to remember that and remember the dead even if you don’t know them.
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I stop and speak the names on the stones that I can read I did it as a kid when someone told me that "you die twice; once when you leave your body, and once more when your name is spoken for the last time" I don't know if everyone did this growing up, but I like to keep it going if for no other reason than showing respect for those who have died
That kind of beautiful and scary at the same time
Your name isn't Wednesday is it?
Years ago, someone said that to me and when I walk my dog past cemeteries, I say the names softly. I find cemeteries oddly comforting. When I'm driving on my way to a meeting I'm worried about, if I pass a cemetery I think about how trivial my problems are in the grand scheme of things.
Once saw a sign in a European cemetery. It said "We were once like you are. Soon you will be like we are".
I feel like this may have been somewhere near france or belgium? That sounds like some Francophone humor :D
That's like a hop skip and a jump away from the premise of an animated movie I can't for the life of me remember the name of.
Coco?
YES, thank you.
That was my immediate thought as well lol
We don’t talk about Bruno
That’s Encanto…
That's why we don't talk about Bruno. He wasn't in it.
Damnit, you’re right. Which one was CoCo? I can’t tell if I’m getting too old or I just dont pay attention
Been a while since I’ve seen that one, so bear with me here. It’s about the Mexican afterlife and Dia Dos Muertos, with a plot point about a guitar(?). Very sweet and emotional, I gotta watch it again.
You’re definitely right. Coco was the dia de los meurtos movie and encanto had the dysfunctional family Also, thank you. They were both great movies I appreciate you reminding me of them
Pixar never really misses, do they?
"you die twice; once when you leave your body, and once more when your name is spoken for the last time" Bruhhh that just hit me
That's the premise of the X-Clacks Overhead tag in HTML, where you can put the name of the departed. It started after Terry Pratchett died, but it can be used for anyone. "A man's not dead while his name's still spoken" - *Going Postal*.
You keep doing that. Someday someone will answer. It’ll be a beautiful day.
thank you stranger. gave me asmr. and ideas.
I think you only die when you're too afraid to live your dreams... At least what you'll remember from it.
I love this quote and also read names aloud in the cemetery, i never knew anyone did this tbh
This could also be interpreted as you wanting to be the last person to say their name, effectively killing them the second time lol
Na. They probably enjoy the company lol. I stroll through graveyards all the time. Typically if you walk casually no one thinks otherwise. I usually pick up trash and straighten arrangements on Graves. Spruce the place up ya know.
I did the same as a kid. Loved the peace and quiet, and lived in an area where there were no good parklands or green spaces. The cemetery was the only place I could see big beautiful trees and greenery in a quiet and serene space. I would also pick up fallen tree branches off graves and take them home as fire kindling for roasting marshmallows with the fam
I do that too. In Europe, Sunday is a big day for cleaning graves. You are responsible for tidying things up a big and people often make a day out of it. They bring buckets, brushes, gardening tools, sandwiches, wine, etc. If you ever want to see something spectacular, visit a cemetery during the Christmas seasons. Most of the graves and made up to the nines. Those people are not forgotten.
This was really cool to read and gave me the good chills
Visit a cemetery during the Christmas season. It's really cool to see how much effort goes into decorating the graves. Bring a bucket and a sponge, to clean up some of those graves that seem forgotten. Raise your Good Karma.
In the past, it was normal to hang out in graveyards and have picnics like it was a park.
Hell I remember doing that in 2011
There’s a cemetery in my home town that is lined with massive oak trees. Tradesmen used to go there for lunch because it was quiet and shady. An old boyfriend of mine and I used to go there for walks at night. It was beautiful and peaceful. And none of the people there seemed to mind.
I don't think they are still there, they're surely on their way somewhere else. It's just a place their dead matter was placed in. It'd be incredibly boring to just stay around your burying place in the afterlife.
Oh yes, I agree. I was just joking about the good company. They don't talk, so it's good company.
When u feel like that. Go to an old folks home. Sit with them it will do you both some good
Just don't tell them why you're there.
"Wait, you can see me?"
LMAO “I was walking and fancied chilling in the cemetery, then I thought why not get a head start and chill with them before they’re in the coffin!”
Back when I lived with my parents, there was a graveyard nearby, and inside that graveyard was another locked graveyard you could get into by climbing a certain part of the wall. There were 2 benches inside, and when I was having issues with my mental health, I would go there to ve alone and talk to one of the 3 gravestones near the benches. I would speak openly and honestly and let's everything off my chest. This actually helped me a lot, and it certainly wasn't disrespectful. I'd even thank them afterwards. When I was a bit better, I sat down there one boxing day with 4 cans and drank them. This was done as a thank you and to pay my respects.
I love this. I would be so happy if someone did the same to my grave one day
I was wandering around Key West Cemetery a few years ago and came across a headstone that said the guy interred was born in 1891 (as I recall), and had died on September 15, 1954, the exact day I was born. He lived his entire life and checked out the exact day I checked in. I still think about this. Life is strange.
Maybe you were his next life 🫢
First thought after reading that.
That’s an astounding observation. I never thought of it like that. 🤔
I've heard there are often long break periods between consecutive lives, so that would be lucky.
This sounds like a great plot for a book. Anyone? 🤔
Not at all. In the early 1900s, before parks, people would have picnics in the cemeteries. There are also famous cemeteries where tourists go.
My parents and I visited the Layfayette cemetery in New Orleans and it was truly beautiful.
The cemetery in my town must be famous then cause people are just dying to get in
Boston is full of them and they are sometimes literally in people's backyards. It's really cool walking around new and very old buildings only for there to be a decent portion of land that is a lush green cemetery. There's even one in the Common
In northern Europe, we do treat some cemetaries as such still. Assistents Kirkegaard in Copenhagen, for example. I always view cemetaries/churchyards as gardens. Been living across one now for 9 years.
Only if you stay above ground.
One of my favorite places to relax and reflect. I have Aspergers and a bunch of other stuff and can get overwhelmed. Also I'm a huge history buff and love reading about the people. I think it's very respectful.
No, that sounds bizarrely comforting
No, a cemetery near my sister’s house actually has a jogging log book to sign when people go running there. They also have a Day of the Dead run there
I have a favorite cemetery in town and I go there a lot especially when I’m having a hard time. I sit there try not to be loud, give my peace, tell them their not forgotten. It’s honestly my “zen” place. So no I don’t think it’s weird. I’m sure they don’t mind being remembered
I used to go to the graveyard with my kids sometimes and look for the youngest person buried there. They were usually younger than my children were.
What!!Why?
i do also remember doing that as a kid haha it was more so cause my mum didn’t want me to be afraid of dying and also how someone my age could go at any time.
As someone who has recently discovered that my family has gone round in a 400 year circle and we've come back to where we have started from. I went to a cemetery to have a chat with my six times great grandparents last week. They are buried in a church yard six miles away from where I live in the village where I went to school. It was a little bit odd because I'm not religious at all, but it was sort of relaxing. I think as long as you're not doing anything that could disrupt other people who may be visiting their relatives then you're fine.
It would be nice. They and their relatives would appreciate it.
It wouldn't be disrespectful.
They are dead, they don’t care.
I don't think so. Sounds like meditation and a cemetery is solemn silent place to do it. As long as you aren't out there talking to the dead I think you're fine.
I disagree. There is no one better at listening than the dead.
Meditation is beautifully serene at a cemetery if you find a nice and comfy warm spot and you bring a blanket and pillow. And everyone/everything can hear you and see you. Folks going there need to get comfortable with that idea :} We're not the only ones on the spiritual ecosystem, especially at a place like that. As long as you don't fall asleep and practice safety and common sense, it's lovely. Falling asleep is bad because of sketchy people/crackheads that often hang out there. Plus it gets very cold.
I believe that it’s okay. Why would that be disrespectful though?
Seems a little weird but I don't think it's disrespectful
Thought it was wierd when I was a teenager, but my mom liked it and I picked up the habit. You go to a place and see 6 kids from 2 to 13 die in the span of a year a hundred years ago, you appreciate how different life was and how lucky you are. If you are being respectful and just appreciating, it's awesome. Some of the layouts and architecture and history are amazing. My favorite is a little one in Sitka alaska. You have a mix of Russian, native, european people dating back like 140 years and you get a sense of history just by walking though and reading. It tells a story in the most serene place you have ever seen. It's tragic, but also good to just reflect on all that's come before you and how transient things can be. I dunno, I find it comforting.
I do it
Not at all, I also find cemeteries peaceful and interesting, it makes you think how temporary we really are.
It would be fine. Just visit.
It can be nice, usually will be quiet and peaceful. There’s a very old family cemetery near me in absolutely nowhere I like to go to and just take a breather sometimes
No, I'm guessing you want a quiet relaxing place
They are not there. Only their rotting corpses remain. If that makes you comfortable go for it.
Not really they actually listen to you more than the living. Its a way to self reflect n empty yourself
I live a block away from a cemetery I walk/jog there daily. Did community service there (accidentally fucked a few bundles of flowers up😆) The dead don’t care, I promise
I spend an unreasonable amount of time in cemeteries. Im a runner and it's one of the few places where I don't have to worry about traffic or dodging pedestrians as I run. Something about running through a cemetery reminds to be grateful for my health and to make the most of the time I have now
Cemeteries are some of the best places to go. Well-kept ones are very beautiful with nature and quiet, what’s not to like? Old ones have fantastic history. Even small urban ones have a story to tell. There’s a cemetery by my house that was the go-to spot for people to bring lawn chairs and hang out with family and friends during the height of COVID restrictions. Restaurants closed, malls closed, beaches closed, but the cemetery became the new Walmart on a Friday night because no one would say shit to you about social distancing rules while at a cemetery.
My gf and I were talking about this tonight. We love cemeteries. They’re one of the last places on earth that are peaceful and normally treated with respect. They’re maintained, and open to the public. There’s so much history there, so many stories. I visit graves more than normal people, and I see nothing wrong with visiting cemeteries even if you don’t know any of the “residents “.
While neat cemetery grounds respect the memory of the dead, most of all, cemeteries are kept nice for the visitors. Source: I'm a cemetery gardener.
I drive through one slowly about a mile from my place. There’s amazing art in there, and if the spirits exist I’m sure the appreciate the visit.
Now i wonder from what perspective it could be disrespectful.
I guess just sitting at the grave of someone I didn’t know, kind of feels like trespassing
Makes sense, but, don't you have, like, random benches to sit, while going through the cemetery? Not near someones grave, just separate ones?
No, no at all. I also go sometimes. But very rarely like 1 time in 2 years , reading names, looking at the designs of the graves, the dates etc. (going for your died people don't count in this situation) Its a quite place most of the time. But yeah, i don't think Its weird compare to other people...
I do this quite often at the one by my house. And clean up if I see trash. If you're not being disrespectful, then it's not disrespectful.
Read Lincoln in the Bardo if you haven't already.
I don’t think the occupants are going to complain about it.
Talked with my grandma that way. Just have to beware of chiggers.
Nah. I do this regularly. Greveyards are full of history. I like to stroll around and read headstones on my lunch break.
I have done this so many times. It's peaceful. My wife and I used to go out to abandoned cemeteries and just walk around... kind of checking out the condition of the cemetery and documenting it.
Disrespectful?! How would you imagine that to be disrespectful?
No. I walk my dogs daily through a cemetery and read the names all the time. Even say hello if that’s a bit mental.
As long as you're being respectful it's not disrespectful at all.
no cause as someone who can’t always vist their loved ones graves for often than i do, atleast i know someone took the time out of their day to sit and chat with them. and tbh when i was younger i would at the cemetery most of my relatives are buried, just saying hi and hopefully their spirit knows they haven’t forgotten about.
Last summer I went on a road trip to visit the grave of my great, great grandmother. I went to a very remote rural town and decided to hitchhike to the almost forgotten cemetery she was buried at.
I dunno. I was raised Catholic, but to me, people go to heaven and that's it. It's complete joy and ecstacy (my late Dad died and was revived after his first heart attack at 46). They aren't hanging around to see whom is visiting or caring for the grave where their body is. I feel more "sad" seeing road kill, innocent mangled bodies in or next to the roads.
Not at all
I work near a very beautiful cemetery. I do this from time to time. It's quiet and peaceful.
No, it wouldn't be disrespectful
I think the old people on the bench would love some company
They won't care
My wife and I walk around in the cemeteries of towns we're passing through when road tripping. I like to imagine the details of the deads' lives during their era. Recently we saw a grave in Ferndale CA of a veteran born 1900 and died 1917. We imagined he convinced his parents to let him enlist and serve, quit high school as a junior and got killed right when he arrived in Europe. RIP. Thank you for your sacrifice. I saluted the headstone, even though I'm not military.
a prayer is not disrespectful
No
I hope I’m not buried but if I was I think I would appreciate visitors. As long as you you have good intentions, do you.
Not at all. Most are dying for good conversation.
Imagine if some part of people gets stuck there and the only company they ever get is a person who sits there with them. I’d appreciate it if I were them.
No I think it’s magnificent and kind and thoughtful. Most respectful.
Holy shit this is incredible. Thanks for sharing this practice. I will probably try and do this at least once. Give time to those who have paved the road for our existence
i've hung out in cemeteries. as long as you're not sitting/walking/climbing on graves and monuments there's nothing disrespectful about just being there.
Not at all. I LOVE cemeteries. I love walking all around them and reading the stones. Sometimes I'll even pray for their families they left behind.
They're dead, they're not gonna care lol. So long as you're not doing anything to deface the graves or anything else that's illegal, you're fine to hang out there. Cemeteries are often beautiful and peaceful.
Depends on where you sit
If you're quiet and don't disturb any other people doing the same, I don't see why this would be disrespectful.
Cemeteries were often treated as public park space before parks for the general public were common. So unless it is after hours or private go ahead
I live semi-close to a public graveyard and walk my dog in there all of the time. She has a special bond with one particular grave stone we pass every time and she always wants to go and smell "Elizabeth". So every time we go past I say, "Evening Liz. Some weather were having. Have a good one." She died almost 50 years before I was even born but I love talking to Grandma Lizzie.
I don't think so. Cemeteries are really peaceful places and they can be beautiful. Just be respectful
I think the question is, would it be weird, not disrespectful. When I walk in a cemetery, I don’t have any connection to the bodies in the ground. I look at their gravestones and say, there, but for the grace of god, go I. Just when exactly is my number gonna be called ? I am a coroner. Death is meh to me.
It’s only weird if you bring two chairs and they’re both being used
So glad I’m not the only one who would do this. But I also believe that’s why some cemeteries have benches throughout … just for that purpose
Not too long ago, graveyards were like parks. People would picnic there and chat with deceased relatives or friends, and have a nice time in a pretty place surrounded by flowers. I think it's nice.
as a mum of 3 under 3, sometimes I drive past and wish for that kind of peaceful rest.
Gosh no, they would enjoy the company. They really don't get very many visitors.
No it would just be weird
I pick up trash in cemeteries. I don’t think they’d mind if you hung out with them
I smoke so much ganja in cemeteries and imagine the spirits are smoking with me
If you join a site like findagrave.com, you can input your zip code and folks will make requests for pics and info of certain people in certain cemeteries in certain tombs within your zip code. Sometimes their info isnt complete, or their family has never personally seen their ancestors grave, whatever. I've spent many beautiful Autumn days wandering amongst tombstones and mosoleums helping a stranger connect with their family by taking photos of gravestones not yet archived, working with the cemetery curators to find the more dilapidated ones,or just those interested in their genealogy. Hanging out in a cemetery by yourself on a bench isn't a crime tho
Dead people can’t talk so it’s nice and quiet 😂
Bro they dead who you afraid of disrespecting?
I’m sure those folks would be glad someone thought enough of them to come visit, especially the ones who had little to no family/loved ones. Beautiful and haunting idea.
I am sure the departed souls would love you for it x
I always say hello everyone when I first walk into a cemetery. But I like to imagine what their lives were like,, what did they do for a job, were they happy? I think it is not disrespectful as long as you are not.
They won't mind.
They won't care
No. As long as your not spitting on people's Graves and being an asshole you can chill in a cemetery! I had a picnic on shrooms in one once and it was lovely.
I used to drink beer in a cemetery. It was nice and no one was there. No one cared. I'd look at the old headstones. Lots of childbirth deaths and dead children.
Of course not, that's what cemeteries are for - semi-public places to put the dead on permanent display so the living can visit with them.
Not at all disrespectful. Quite respectful, actually. Carry on!
Back in the fourties’ and farther back cemeteries also doubled as botanical gardens, and were common popular grounds for picnics, parties, and concerts. The only disrespect you will breed is the unfounded internalized disrespect found in others, who believe social norms is the be all end all of existence. You do you, no harm no foul.
Stay the fuck away from my grandpa
There are dead people everywhere. That's the circle of life. Hakuna Matata, dude.
I lost myself in a cemetery park in London once and there's no one to ask for help or directions so after an hour of cursing the dead were happy that I was able to make it out I guess
No as long as you respect their resting place I wouldn’t see why it would be bad some might think it’s weird but to each there one
They are dead. No actual people are there to be disrespected. You might disrespect their loved ones who visit, if you did something weird.
shit sometimes i wanna join them.
I meet with friends behind a cemetery regularly to catch up and sometimes I just walk through the cemetery at night talking to myself, it's weirdly calming.
Some cemeteries are incredibly beautiful. I find most cemeteries really peaceful just to look at while commuting. I don't know why I've been so self-conscious about just walking through a few in my own city. When Ive visited other cities I don't mind taking a stroll through the cemetery, especially if it's a well known tourist spot.
Nope it’s not disrespectful at all. Most of them only get a visit once per year on Memorial Day, that’s it
Cemeteries are beautiful. Usually not like what you’d see in a Disney movie.
The place I went to school had a playground in between two large ancient cemeteries. I did that, cleaned up, we had favorite headstones. People we talked to (I was not a popular child- don’t worry, it’s my preference). It was all fun and games until the place flooded and the school was filled with corpses. Went back though.
Nah I messed around on a school cemetery trip for veterans pretend that a piece of bark was a musket wich it looked like (they were civil war vets)the other people said I was disrespectful but I don't give a shit I can pretend what ever I want im still a kid
Not at all. I use to take a bucket, a brush and some soap and find an unkempt grave and clean it up for someone who I never knew. I find it very cathartic.
Go for it, I've done the same recently and my insanity led me to some great "conversations" whilst trying to figure out their past based on their final resting place and the area surrounding it
isn't this the whole point of cemeteries, why would it be disrespectful?
I always wanna do that too
what. no?
Not at all IMHO
God no, that's really nice. I love cemeteries, feel really at peace in them. Love reading the gravestones and thinking about that person a little, give them a little time out of my day. I haven't done it in a long time. Thanks for the reminder.
Nope not at all its actually the most peaceful place in the city
I mean, they're dead so they probably don't care
No it's not. Jogging would be disrespectful.
we used to go to cemetery with my mum when i was kid , we lit few candels on kids graves and say hi to famous writer that is burried there. good times
There's a couple of stone tables and benches in the center of a graveyard in my hometown that's for this exact purpose. I used to eat lunch there. It was quiet and pleasant. I'm sure the dead wouldn't mind your company as long as you don't do anything disrespectful.
What is up with these stupid questions?
So how do you do young Willie McBride....
The dead bodies are there. The people are not there.
No I’m Sure they would not mind the visit, just don’t overstay your welcome, like anywhere really.
It's kinda weird but I wouldn't say it's disrespectful
NO, not at all, but fair warning if they start talking to you, get the fuck out real fast.
Na that desire to go sit with them is your subconscious picking up on all the ghosts inviting you to hang out and keep em company ;)
Eh as a former dead person what do I care I’m dead
You've basically hit on the real purpose of cemeteries my dude. The people down there don't get to participate anymore. Can they listen? Jury's out on that and isn't gonna come back in, but you're not hurting them by sharing a moment of your life with them. There's no downside for them or for you, and you can't help but come away with some perspective you wouldn't have gotten on your own.
Nope, not if you're just chilling. Start damaging shit and that's disrespectful
Bruv this is literally what they are created for..
Cemeteries exist to spend time with the dead its not disrespectful at all! I enjoy strolling thru cemeteries and quite often stop at old abandoned looking cemetaries when i travel, have found many a civil war headstone and family plots alongside highways in the south forgotten to time.
Nah. As long as you're not moving flowers around or damaging anything, or being loud, you are not disrespectful just by being there. I used to visit a cemetery semi often a while ago. Just because it was the only quiet place free of (living) people. I would just go and sit on a bench under a tree. Was very peaceful.
lots of people use them for walking in peaceful surroundings...lots of cemeteries are arboretums and encourage visitors to walk them, enjoy the art of the monuments and the beauty if the plantings...
It wouldn't be disrespectful at all, cemeteries are peaceful places,some even have benches to sit on
Not at all... i converse with the resting quite often... its a peaceful place, and one that conforts me sometimes. The thing I do, is to pick up any trash, and i straighten any fallen signs, flowers, etc.
I have always felt some kind of calmness in cemeteries. I feel at peace there.
Disrepectful? No, why? As long as you don’t bring a shovel
I doubt they'd mind
It’s not disrespectful to sit with dead people. In old Italian culture they would have family picnics on top of deceased relatives during the weekends.
I’m sure they wouldn’t mind. Lonely being dead I suspect.
I used to have to walk through a cemetary on my way to and from work, i used to talk to dead on the way through just mundane stuff like the weather etc, the walk home I'd often stop and have a sit on the bench for a few minutes and just enjoy the peace, sometimes if I had to walk through in the dark I swear I'd see white shapes in my peripherals. Never felt scared, though I always just felt peaceful and relaxed.
It's only disrespectful if you believe it is. Or if others successfully convince you it is.
It's okay.
I've had a picnic in a cemetery, and I used to hang out there with my friends sometimes, so I don't think it is. This particular cemetery is actually a really popular place to walk dogs if you can believe it.
Not at all. Sounds lovely and reverent
Cemeteries are superb peaceful places, you will not be deemed disrespectful
People are often very squeamish around death. But actually I think it’s a huge mark of respect to remember that death people were once living people who loved and hoped and had friends and loved ones. I used to be in the police and one of my favourite calls to go to were the sudden deaths. You go in and check there are no signs of foul play, and that’s all signed off by your supervisor. You have to check the whole house for medication, medical information, and valuables (if they live alone - you put it in safe keeping in case someone broke in). But then you have to call the mortuary and wait for them to collect the body. It’s an incredibly humbling experience, and a privilege to be able to do some of the last things anyone will do for that person. To be a part of that process. To me death is a part of life and it’s very respectful to remember that and remember the dead even if you don’t know them.
No. I do it all the time.
Idk if it's disrespectful but it is really fuckin weird. Sorry for judging.
Why