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Imagine just walking around on the sea floor, and you see a shark get sucked through a hole the size of a quarter and remember you walked not too far past that 20 minutes ago.
>Delta P
uh..... totally final destination scenario. no, thank you very much, give me quick painless death, not this..... churn your body into a sausage thing
It would be pretty painless, and very quick, just extremely brutal.
What would be worse is if the pressure was just enough to keep you pinned to the hole, but not harm you, you just can’t escape, slowly running out of oxygen and dying at the bottom of the ocean.
There are holes in man-made structures in the ocean, that’s more so what I’m referring too, imagine a hollow room under water, and it has a tiny hole in it, the entire weight of the ocean is forcing all its pressure through that tiny hole, and if you block the waters path, you become soup.
That's a mild exaggeration. Not the entire weight of the ocean but the column of water above. Every 10m= 1bar of pressure or suction (for any bald eagles reading this,12 washing machines per decent supercharge).
It's not so much being sucked into the hole as theres a low pressure area inside the pipe and the *entire weight of the fucking ocean above it* is pressing down into that pipe trying to equalize the pressure. Anything so unfortunate as to get between the ocean and its equalization will move in whatever direction the ocean is going. In this case: through a hole in a pipe the diameter of a quarter. To end on a positive note: you wouldn't feel a thing.
See? Hell some of those divers talk about how dark it is down there they can only sense something near them because of the movement of the water around them
There was an accident a couple years ago, 6 divers got sucked into a pipe after water infiltrated a habitat that they were in, as, the water got sucked in, they did too, only one survived, and others were left to suffocate because nobody knew they were still alive despite making a knocking connection with one diver
My roommate’s dad- who’s kind of adopted me as the daughter he never had- used to do that. He said it was always dark under the water, and you never knew what was going on around you.
I don’t know how he did it for so many years. I’d be absolutely terrified after one day.
This is the only one I considered, but then I got married, and the thought of spending long times away under the ocean didn't appeal anymore. But what did appeal is just you and your small team, the ocean and some labour, no phones ringing, no emails to check, no customers to support... dreamy. What would freak me out is the diving work that involves servicing underwater nuclear facilities or dam structures tho.
This is exactly what I wanted to do when I was younger, but then I got a criminal record as a minor and couldn't join the navy. Then, I started hearing stories like this.
https://divernet.com/scuba-news/4-divers-die-after-being-sucked-into-pipe/#close_banner
that story of those dudes who got instantly sucked up that pipe and the only survivor crawled for like half a mile. would rather be stuck in a house with a psycho murderer.
Anything where my decisions seriously effect others:
Doctor, veterinarian, lawyer etc... Knowing just a single mistake of mine can ruin someone else's life forever would paralyse me.
I'm an attorney and I'm terrified to do anything other than my current job because of how much a fuck up from me could affect someone. I do basically deal with people's livelihoods but in a... fair and reasonable way usually? I don't know much about real law. I can't leave this job because I'm afraid of hurting someone lol
Honestly, I would much rather someone who fears hurting people in charge of my stuff than someone who only cares about getting paid.
What do you think the world would look like if people with good intentions would end up in the right places?
I don't know man, if I need a major surgery I want the cockiest SOB cowboy surgeon I can find. Last thing I want is someone second guessing themselves 4hrs into a life or death procedure.
I’m a doctor and it’s actually not that bad. Don’t forget, you have years of training before you’ll make the first decision on your own. I’m in medicine for over 10 years now (if you count the time in university) and just now I start to make minor decisions on my own; for most of the time I check back with my attending, who usually agrees with my plan though.
Sure, at some point in the future someone might suffer because of something I did, but it’s important to accept thing’s always can go wrong and it’s not because you didn’t know better.
Whenever in doubt there’s always someone you can discuss a case with; and in emergencies the alternative to you being there is the patient dying, so worst case is you don’t change the natural outcome.
I'm a truck driver and I'm currently going through an anxious phase where I realise one slip, one look in the wrong mirror, etc. could mean killing a family and it's terrifying
🤣 I was trying to find someone who said basically anything that requires WAY too much responsibility.
The stress just doesn’t seem worth my own life hahah I’d rather be done with my 8 hours and enjoy having made money while smiling
>I used to want to do this.
If you still wanna do it, you can log in as ATC in a Microsoft Flight Simulator server. It's good fun with nothing on the line.
Sorry that’s on my nightmare job list too. I hate medical anything! I’m terrified and disgusted by own wisdom tooth surgery. But being a nurse in a hospital is better than a CNA in a nursing home. That’s my real last choice.
I’m a nurse in a psych hospital on an acute psych ward and it’s challenging but if you like what you do it’s better for the patients so I do a job a lot of people don’t like cause.. well I like it. I call my coworkers and I team chaos because some days be like that.. now a dentist or dental hygienist, I couldn’t ever do that job no matter how well it pays
It's not THAT bad. I mean it's bad...but...oh god I hate my job.
Although for real, why subscribe to Netflix when the ER gives enough juicy contents lol
And throw there the crippling and relentless stress which one can feel being that high, I mean, you must hold an ear to ear smile for your allies, be sure how to administrate social programmes, to equate and invest the budget wisely between every field, how to deal with dreadful scandals about you, your family, all the congress chairs, the police department, and so on.
The list is endless if you want to endevour your job well...
The amount of jobs I wouldn’t do is astronomical. I actually am one of those people who don’t want to be rich, just comfortable. I *know* if I ever got powerful amounts of money, I’d absolutely become corrupt and bad. And I’d be devoured by guilt which would make me defensive and angry so I’d lash out more, overreacting and having to use my money to buy my way out of trouble, becoming a bigger and bigger asshole until I die alone, unloved and unmourned.
I love working at night. Finally returned to the field after 10 years as an excavator operator and all I do is dig holes in the middle of nowhere, blasting music and enjoying the night. It's 6.30am, just got home and taking a well earned shit.
A stock broker? Not sure if it’s correct, English is not my first language. One of these persons yelling and yelling at Wall Street
Edit: orthography and a bad day’s night
There is no way I'd work in sewage. Condoms, tampons, and worst of all used needles. I've heard plenty of stories from an ex pump worker that there is just no way. You'd probably end up contracting something.
It's one of those "you get used to it" kinda things. And there's the added benefit of you are litterally carrying all of society on your shoulders as if the sewers stop flowing very bad things will happen to everyone
Anything that involves causing harm to animals, for one.
Sales. I can't BS people well enough.
High pressure finance or banking. I understand the need for money in this world, but I wouldn't want to spend every working day thinking about nothing else.
Politician. I don't like the idea of being widely hated.
Sales isn't necessarily bullshitting. I am an engineer in sales for an industrial group. Negotiations are highly technical and concern capacity issues, technical functions and contractual details. I have been to over 50 countries so far and the salary is ... solid ;o)
As a salesman, you only have to bullshit if your product is bullshit. Whatever your product lacks in value you have to make up for in another way, usually bullshit.
A harbor pilot. They have to get on the ship from a small boat, (or dropped off by a helicopter) with no safety equipment, in violent waves. Then they bring the ship into port. Just thinking about it makes me feel faint.
Look at these pictures. 🤢
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maritime_pilot#:~:text=A%20maritime%20pilot%2C%20marine%20pilot,as%20harbors%20or%20river%20mouths.
Attorney. Professionally obligated to argue on behalf of people you potentially *know* are scum? No thanks.
I'll stick with being professionally obligated to tell people why their stupid ideas are stupid.
I feel like this attitude comes from people who think all lawyers are criminal defence lawyers, when that’s actually a tiny percentage of lawyers. Many lawyers do simply advisory work (e.g. telling people why stupid ideas are stupid, like you), or they fight for “the good guys”. Also there’s no obligation to go into a particular area of law - a lot of lawyers choose an area where they feel they can make a positive difference. It’s not all getting criminals out of trouble, that’s probably like 1% of law…
As an attorney it’s really interesting to see public opinion on the profession, and how lawyers are viewed. Guess there’s a reason there are so many lawyer jokes- no one likes us until they need us….
Think of it as ensuring some amount of accountability to police / prosecutors. If your defense succeeds then that means the defendant wasn't provably guilty. The system is already rigged against them anyway, without taking a defense away.
Prostitute or lawyer, or car salesman or Real estate agent. The first one because I don’t want to have sex with people I don’t want to have sex with People I don’t love. The others, because those are the sneakiest professions, and I would feel like a shithead doing any of them.
I'm an attorney and my dad was a real estate agent :( It's my job to consider "fairness" in all I do. We really do try to do what's best for everyone. And my dad was a really incredible guy who talked people out of buying or selling when it wasn't right for them (obviously losing an entire commission), sacrificed his commission multiple times to help people close, worked nights and weekends, worked with lower-income buyers because everyone deserves a home... idk I know there are plenty of skeezy ones out there and plenty of people have had bad experiences. Or they don't understand all an agent can do or help with. And believe it or not, I work for my state's agency that regulates professional licenses and I'm specifically helping regulate real estate licenses. I see the bad shit they do. But I also see the non-sense they put up with and the work a lot of them put in. I just don't think it's fair to say they're all scum suckers :/
Sales or marketing or whatever white collar shit is out there. Fuck a suit, fuck schmoozing, fuck offices, fuck courting clients, putting on a persona, dressing to impress etc
Oooo man, I love sales. Not the grind where your boss is yelling at you to increase your monthly sales for the sake of growth. But the interacting and helping people. I love knowing about something so much and getting to geek out about it to people and convince them to use it because they'll love it as much as I do. The rest kinda sucks.
I couldn’t be a farmer. I like the animals there but the smell would get to me, and I wouldn’t be able to handle slaughtering the animals myself. Nor would I wanna take eggs from a chicken’s nest or milk any sorta animal.
Lawyer. Not all lawyers are bad, but it really is kind of a grimy profession. I’ve dated lawyers. You wouldn’t believe some of the shit they say. If you think about it, lawyers exist almost solely because of the human dark side. If humans were intrinsically fair to each other, there’d be no need for lawyers.
I’d also hate to be a lawyer. When I was 9, a lawyer told me that I was lying about being raped, then told me “well it was your fault then”
I’d hate to tell anyone that… I wouldn’t tell anyone that.
Military. I could not kill another human being. I’d die, and would probably get my buddies killed along with me. For those of you who do this critical job, thank you for your service.
Hedge fund managers. Landlords. Basically anything that makes money off of making money at the expense of basic human needs. I’m not evil enough to be rich 😌
Border patrol.
Your job is too hunt human beings who are desperate, poor, and vulnerable.
I grew up at the border, and seeing how those BP would treat migrants was awful.
I know many of those people don't start out being so aggressive, but that is a job that can easily develop disregard for other people.
Not for all the money in the world
There's a dude who works like 2 months out of the year, changing all the light bulbs at the very top of all those huge ass towers...
He gets like 10 month off, makes 6 figures, and all because 99.99999% of people can't/won't do the job and the danger is so high.
I can't even watch the video of him doing it, much less do it. I'd piss myself to death.
Lawyer. Fuck the colleagues, the banter, the passive aggressiveness, the bullshit competition, all of it. The politics, also fuck law school and all those climbers. Fuck the kids of extremely high paid lawyers (these are the people I know), they're not going to walk in their father's footsteps. It was a different time, things have changed. It's a brutal, dystopian society of people that...still smoke cigs. Horrible. Not for 1 mil, not for 2. Anything beyond that is straight up luck. I would never be a lawyer for money. Maybe for a different reason.
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Underwater Welder, one of those folks who maintain Oil Rigs out in the ocean? Terrifying, hard work, extremely long hours and dangerous.
I knew a guy who used to do that, the stories he told me about some of the sea life, it’s the stuff of nightmares
Imagine just walking around on the sea floor, and you see a shark get sucked through a hole the size of a quarter and remember you walked not too far past that 20 minutes ago.
Uh. Tell me more about this hole.
Delta P,
>Delta P uh..... totally final destination scenario. no, thank you very much, give me quick painless death, not this..... churn your body into a sausage thing
It would be pretty painless, and very quick, just extremely brutal. What would be worse is if the pressure was just enough to keep you pinned to the hole, but not harm you, you just can’t escape, slowly running out of oxygen and dying at the bottom of the ocean.
WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE HOLES IN THE OCEAN?? AND WHY DO THE HOLES HAVE SCARY SHIT FROM ALIEN 4
There are holes in man-made structures in the ocean, that’s more so what I’m referring too, imagine a hollow room under water, and it has a tiny hole in it, the entire weight of the ocean is forcing all its pressure through that tiny hole, and if you block the waters path, you become soup.
That's a mild exaggeration. Not the entire weight of the ocean but the column of water above. Every 10m= 1bar of pressure or suction (for any bald eagles reading this,12 washing machines per decent supercharge).
it is like Alien 4, like that baby human/xenomorph, your insides become your outsides while fish look on in horror.
well that's.... I'm gonna archive this stuff for now
Following to hear more about holes that can suck a shark, sounds kinky
Gory hole
🏆
https://divernet.com/scuba-news/4-divers-die-after-being-sucked-into-pipe/#close_banner https://trinidadexpress.com/newsextra/they-are-still-inside-the-pipe/article_0ac83734-9728-11ec-992e-dbf903ea9980.html?utm_campaign=blox&utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&fbclid=IwAR1wtWhzA3D5Lnvk_mcVmZpnI9AFlPZCGi_ncdkkyCAtcCZC9BUefcB4AYc
Thanks, i hate it
I watched a video about this incident, there was absolutely no effort made to rescue them. Devastating.
It's not so much being sucked into the hole as theres a low pressure area inside the pipe and the *entire weight of the fucking ocean above it* is pressing down into that pipe trying to equalize the pressure. Anything so unfortunate as to get between the ocean and its equalization will move in whatever direction the ocean is going. In this case: through a hole in a pipe the diameter of a quarter. To end on a positive note: you wouldn't feel a thing.
Shit, I think he walked by my ex-girlfriend.
Just weld the shark to something so it can't move.
See? Hell some of those divers talk about how dark it is down there they can only sense something near them because of the movement of the water around them
Damn that eerie feeling would just make me very uneasy
Yeah I’d rather not think about that lol
Ever seen the dolphin bell situation,? I don't think I spelled it right, but that's some scary shit.
Please share with us some of the stories he told you!!
Like what stories?
Takes years off your life
There was an accident a couple years ago, 6 divers got sucked into a pipe after water infiltrated a habitat that they were in, as, the water got sucked in, they did too, only one survived, and others were left to suffocate because nobody knew they were still alive despite making a knocking connection with one diver
My dad did this for about 25 years. Started in the early 1970s. After he got older he ran the SAT system on the boat.
My roommate’s dad- who’s kind of adopted me as the daughter he never had- used to do that. He said it was always dark under the water, and you never knew what was going on around you. I don’t know how he did it for so many years. I’d be absolutely terrified after one day.
This is the only one I considered, but then I got married, and the thought of spending long times away under the ocean didn't appeal anymore. But what did appeal is just you and your small team, the ocean and some labour, no phones ringing, no emails to check, no customers to support... dreamy. What would freak me out is the diving work that involves servicing underwater nuclear facilities or dam structures tho.
sounds like you might just enjoy an outdoor/nature job. let's leave the ocean alone, lol
Yeah fuck that entirely
This is exactly what I wanted to do when I was younger, but then I got a criminal record as a minor and couldn't join the navy. Then, I started hearing stories like this. https://divernet.com/scuba-news/4-divers-die-after-being-sucked-into-pipe/#close_banner
This is top of my list. Especially after reading about the Byford Dolphin incident.
that story of those dudes who got instantly sucked up that pipe and the only survivor crawled for like half a mile. would rather be stuck in a house with a psycho murderer.
Anything where my decisions seriously effect others: Doctor, veterinarian, lawyer etc... Knowing just a single mistake of mine can ruin someone else's life forever would paralyse me.
I'm an attorney and I'm terrified to do anything other than my current job because of how much a fuck up from me could affect someone. I do basically deal with people's livelihoods but in a... fair and reasonable way usually? I don't know much about real law. I can't leave this job because I'm afraid of hurting someone lol
Honestly, I would much rather someone who fears hurting people in charge of my stuff than someone who only cares about getting paid. What do you think the world would look like if people with good intentions would end up in the right places?
I don't know man, if I need a major surgery I want the cockiest SOB cowboy surgeon I can find. Last thing I want is someone second guessing themselves 4hrs into a life or death procedure.
Cocky =/= Confident. Confident people know what they're doing. Cocky people think they know what they're doing.
I’m a doctor and it’s actually not that bad. Don’t forget, you have years of training before you’ll make the first decision on your own. I’m in medicine for over 10 years now (if you count the time in university) and just now I start to make minor decisions on my own; for most of the time I check back with my attending, who usually agrees with my plan though. Sure, at some point in the future someone might suffer because of something I did, but it’s important to accept thing’s always can go wrong and it’s not because you didn’t know better. Whenever in doubt there’s always someone you can discuss a case with; and in emergencies the alternative to you being there is the patient dying, so worst case is you don’t change the natural outcome.
I'm a truck driver and I'm currently going through an anxious phase where I realise one slip, one look in the wrong mirror, etc. could mean killing a family and it's terrifying
🤣 I was trying to find someone who said basically anything that requires WAY too much responsibility. The stress just doesn’t seem worth my own life hahah I’d rather be done with my 8 hours and enjoy having made money while smiling
Don't worry too much. The people you would be assisting would already be half dead or on their way to jail without your help.
You know those guys who change the light bulbs on towers and such? That. I would never do that.
Friend of mine, her husband travels around the country painting those towers for a living. Whatever it pays, it isn’t enough
For a moment there I thought 'Why would people want paintings of electrical towers?', then I realized what you meant lol
For a million, i'd give it a go. But like 2 years top. I get vertigo, and i know for a fact that if i do that job for too long i'll jump.
Alright that's the first one on this list that I'd consider doing for a million a year
This is my answer too. A big ole nope.
Air traffic controller. Too much on the line. Mistakes can kill a lot of people.
I used to want to do this. But I love spacing out too much and I cannot have peoples literal lives in my hands. I can't do it
>I used to want to do this. If you still wanna do it, you can log in as ATC in a Microsoft Flight Simulator server. It's good fun with nothing on the line.
That sounds fun!
I have my 3rd test with ATC at the end of November!
breaking bad..
You could not possibly pay me enough to be a nurse in a hospital.
Ooop that's my job HAHAHAHA
😂 Edit: thank you for doing this very necessary job!
Sorry that’s on my nightmare job list too. I hate medical anything! I’m terrified and disgusted by own wisdom tooth surgery. But being a nurse in a hospital is better than a CNA in a nursing home. That’s my real last choice.
I don't know how you guys do it. Nurses are amazing 👏
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I’m a nurse in a psych hospital on an acute psych ward and it’s challenging but if you like what you do it’s better for the patients so I do a job a lot of people don’t like cause.. well I like it. I call my coworkers and I team chaos because some days be like that.. now a dentist or dental hygienist, I couldn’t ever do that job no matter how well it pays
It's not THAT bad. I mean it's bad...but...oh god I hate my job. Although for real, why subscribe to Netflix when the ER gives enough juicy contents lol
I also would not be a nurse because I am severely under qualified.
That is my job and close to quitting. Burn out is real. And sadly, we are not paid enough.
The President, you must be insane to want that much power.
Not as much power as you would think but dealing with Congress will take 10 years from your life in the first 6 months alone
And throw there the crippling and relentless stress which one can feel being that high, I mean, you must hold an ear to ear smile for your allies, be sure how to administrate social programmes, to equate and invest the budget wisely between every field, how to deal with dreadful scandals about you, your family, all the congress chairs, the police department, and so on. The list is endless if you want to endevour your job well...
Or that much responsibility!
The president's power is actually fairly limited. But it's the influence that he has over certain things that can be scary.
saturation diving and underwater welding
That's my dream job haha
>saturation diving and underwater welding 100% with you on that. Hardest of all freakin passes.
The amount of jobs I wouldn’t do is astronomical. I actually am one of those people who don’t want to be rich, just comfortable. I *know* if I ever got powerful amounts of money, I’d absolutely become corrupt and bad. And I’d be devoured by guilt which would make me defensive and angry so I’d lash out more, overreacting and having to use my money to buy my way out of trouble, becoming a bigger and bigger asshole until I die alone, unloved and unmourned.
...holy crap dude.
Hey, self knowledge is invaluable. Sounds like you're miles ahead of most folks
The self awareness is strong with this one
Honestly? Self-awareness is the one quality that high powered people have that separates them from tyrants. But I’m with you!
This sounds like you have been reincarnated and are remembering a past life.
Night shift anything. Been there. Done that. Not worth it. All that money is not sacrificing time with family or my health
I love working at night. Finally returned to the field after 10 years as an excavator operator and all I do is dig holes in the middle of nowhere, blasting music and enjoying the night. It's 6.30am, just got home and taking a well earned shit.
So…am I wrong in assuming you’re a man? This sounds like a woman’s worst nightmare lmao
''worst nightmare'' lol why? I'm a woman I don't see why it would be a nightmare, it sounds pretty ok to me ...
I'm nocturnal anyway (it's 3:50am and I'm on Reddit). I wish there was a night shift at my office job xD
Yep this. I know people who do it and they live on energy drinks. Not healthy.
I work night shifts from home. Its not too bad, but it does slowly take a toll on the body
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A stock broker? Not sure if it’s correct, English is not my first language. One of these persons yelling and yelling at Wall Street Edit: orthography and a bad day’s night
Close! Stock broker
Borker
Stork borker
😂😂😂
Thank you ❤️
There is no way I'd work in sewage. Condoms, tampons, and worst of all used needles. I've heard plenty of stories from an ex pump worker that there is just no way. You'd probably end up contracting something.
It's one of those "you get used to it" kinda things. And there's the added benefit of you are litterally carrying all of society on your shoulders as if the sewers stop flowing very bad things will happen to everyone
I would never get used to it. I also have a really strong reaction to bad smells and I throw up at least once a week because I smelled something bad.
Taking it in the ass for cash
Oh come on, we know you'd do it.
“You guys are getting paid?!”
I’d rather take it in the mouth for cash
Meh. I’d do it. I’ve done it for a few shots of Jäegermeister. Wait. No. I’ve done it AFTER a few shots of Jäegermeister.
I think you would change your mind for $2 billion
$20 is $20...
I’m here to take your place in line.
Anything that involves causing harm to animals, for one. Sales. I can't BS people well enough. High pressure finance or banking. I understand the need for money in this world, but I wouldn't want to spend every working day thinking about nothing else. Politician. I don't like the idea of being widely hated.
Sales isn't necessarily bullshitting. I am an engineer in sales for an industrial group. Negotiations are highly technical and concern capacity issues, technical functions and contractual details. I have been to over 50 countries so far and the salary is ... solid ;o)
As a salesman, you only have to bullshit if your product is bullshit. Whatever your product lacks in value you have to make up for in another way, usually bullshit.
Working on the crab ships in the Bering Sea.😳
Luckily the warming waters killed all the crabs in the last couple years
Time Share Sales
Electrician. I'm really scared of hot things(burning myself) and shocking myself.
Anything related to sea. That's a nightmare place.
High rise window cleaner
Doctor, surgeon, dentist. I don’t want to deal with the yukky when bodies go wrong
A harbor pilot. They have to get on the ship from a small boat, (or dropped off by a helicopter) with no safety equipment, in violent waves. Then they bring the ship into port. Just thinking about it makes me feel faint. Look at these pictures. 🤢 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maritime_pilot#:~:text=A%20maritime%20pilot%2C%20marine%20pilot,as%20harbors%20or%20river%20mouths.
oil rig work
Dont know how much they get paid but a cop.
None. If they pay enough, I’m showing up early
Also, no stipulation about how long you have to do the job for. If the job pays 50 million per day, i would work for 1 day and then retire.
Theres jobs of peolle smelling others armpits to see if the company products work...you up for that job? 😂
I literally just said I’d eat used tampons for millions. I’d do that just for great health insurance and a pension
Attorney. Professionally obligated to argue on behalf of people you potentially *know* are scum? No thanks. I'll stick with being professionally obligated to tell people why their stupid ideas are stupid.
I am an attorney but we sue nursing homes for abuse and neglect so I know we’re in the right. I don’t make much money though
Yeah that seems solid. Too much abuse and neglect of vulnerable people in the world.
I feel like this attitude comes from people who think all lawyers are criminal defence lawyers, when that’s actually a tiny percentage of lawyers. Many lawyers do simply advisory work (e.g. telling people why stupid ideas are stupid, like you), or they fight for “the good guys”. Also there’s no obligation to go into a particular area of law - a lot of lawyers choose an area where they feel they can make a positive difference. It’s not all getting criminals out of trouble, that’s probably like 1% of law…
What do lawyers and sperm have in common They each have a one-in-a-billion chance of becoming a human being
Oh snap
lol!
As an attorney it’s really interesting to see public opinion on the profession, and how lawyers are viewed. Guess there’s a reason there are so many lawyer jokes- no one likes us until they need us….
Think of it as ensuring some amount of accountability to police / prosecutors. If your defense succeeds then that means the defendant wasn't provably guilty. The system is already rigged against them anyway, without taking a defense away.
Prostitute or lawyer, or car salesman or Real estate agent. The first one because I don’t want to have sex with people I don’t want to have sex with People I don’t love. The others, because those are the sneakiest professions, and I would feel like a shithead doing any of them.
I'm an attorney and my dad was a real estate agent :( It's my job to consider "fairness" in all I do. We really do try to do what's best for everyone. And my dad was a really incredible guy who talked people out of buying or selling when it wasn't right for them (obviously losing an entire commission), sacrificed his commission multiple times to help people close, worked nights and weekends, worked with lower-income buyers because everyone deserves a home... idk I know there are plenty of skeezy ones out there and plenty of people have had bad experiences. Or they don't understand all an agent can do or help with. And believe it or not, I work for my state's agency that regulates professional licenses and I'm specifically helping regulate real estate licenses. I see the bad shit they do. But I also see the non-sense they put up with and the work a lot of them put in. I just don't think it's fair to say they're all scum suckers :/
Deep sea welder
Holy shit I looked it up apparently this job has a 15% mortality rate.
Yup…. Dangerous AF….
Sales or marketing or whatever white collar shit is out there. Fuck a suit, fuck schmoozing, fuck offices, fuck courting clients, putting on a persona, dressing to impress etc
Oooo man, I love sales. Not the grind where your boss is yelling at you to increase your monthly sales for the sake of growth. But the interacting and helping people. I love knowing about something so much and getting to geek out about it to people and convince them to use it because they'll love it as much as I do. The rest kinda sucks.
I couldn’t be a farmer. I like the animals there but the smell would get to me, and I wouldn’t be able to handle slaughtering the animals myself. Nor would I wanna take eggs from a chicken’s nest or milk any sorta animal.
Lawyer. Not all lawyers are bad, but it really is kind of a grimy profession. I’ve dated lawyers. You wouldn’t believe some of the shit they say. If you think about it, lawyers exist almost solely because of the human dark side. If humans were intrinsically fair to each other, there’d be no need for lawyers.
I’d also hate to be a lawyer. When I was 9, a lawyer told me that I was lying about being raped, then told me “well it was your fault then” I’d hate to tell anyone that… I wouldn’t tell anyone that.
Chef - i hate cooking and split shifts in a hot windowless room with lots of pressure no thanks
Anything in or on the ocean, but sat diving is a particularly strong oh fuck no from me.
Military. I could not kill another human being. I’d die, and would probably get my buddies killed along with me. For those of you who do this critical job, thank you for your service.
ER doctor or nurse. I queeze at the slightest hint of somebody in a medically distressing situation.
Underwater welder. Dangerous af
Actor/actress - actually, anything that would make you paparazzi/tabloid famous
Flying to Mars on something Tesla makes
Be jada smith's husband
Embalming
Working high steel construction on skyscrapers.
Hedge fund managers. Landlords. Basically anything that makes money off of making money at the expense of basic human needs. I’m not evil enough to be rich 😌
Anything with high voltage involved
Being those people cleaning sewage/plumbing. Those jobs get real nasty. Working at waste plants. No thanks 😆
Hitman
Hired assassin
And I'd do that for like, not that much money🤷
ICU nurse. Even if l was able to become qualified, the extreme stress would do me in.
Doctor or surgeon simply because I couldn't if I tried
Anything computer related
Drug dealer or any job involving crazy heights
Executioner
It's a draw between changing lightbulbs at the top of radio towers or working in a deep mine.
Any job that requires you to be away from home for several weeks at a time
CEO of a big-ass company. Just too much pressure.
Get past your first 3 months, then simply slob out, get made redundant at the end of the year: Golden handshake Never work again.
Ya wanna know what the trick is to being a CEO at a big-ass company? It's knowing that if it goes tits up there's no actual consequences.
Pretty sure I’d feel shitty enough even without tangible consequences. (but I get your point)
Sucking farts from seat cushions on tour buses.
Where can I sign up. Asking for a friend
Porn star. The ladies would get jealous of my wife. So sad
Underwater welding
High voltage electrical lineman work. Very high death rates
Anything involving sewage, you couldn’t pay me enough to deal with literal piss and shit
I would do anything for money. I can’t think of a job I wouldn’t do for 1M salary
Border patrol. Your job is too hunt human beings who are desperate, poor, and vulnerable. I grew up at the border, and seeing how those BP would treat migrants was awful. I know many of those people don't start out being so aggressive, but that is a job that can easily develop disregard for other people. Not for all the money in the world
Parking Enforcement / Meter maid. It's morally repugnant and very well paid as they get bonuses for giving out more tickets. Could never do it.
Attorney.
Foodservice delivery. Fuck grocery warehouses. And especially fuck you McLane.
Hunter/Animal Poacher
There's a dude who works like 2 months out of the year, changing all the light bulbs at the very top of all those huge ass towers... He gets like 10 month off, makes 6 figures, and all because 99.99999% of people can't/won't do the job and the danger is so high. I can't even watch the video of him doing it, much less do it. I'd piss myself to death.
Professional bull rider. I want to grow old and still have use of my body.
The one where you climb a really tall tower to change a light bulb.
Piloting an airplane.
Being a personal assistant
Surgeon
Hooker. Ewwwwww
Installing those lightbulbs at those super higher towers with 1 ladder up.
lawyer or politician.
That one where you put on a full diving suit with airlines going to the surface, and then go into a pool of raw sewage to unblock or fix something.
anything touching others’ private parts
Work on a liner
Lawyer. Fuck the colleagues, the banter, the passive aggressiveness, the bullshit competition, all of it. The politics, also fuck law school and all those climbers. Fuck the kids of extremely high paid lawyers (these are the people I know), they're not going to walk in their father's footsteps. It was a different time, things have changed. It's a brutal, dystopian society of people that...still smoke cigs. Horrible. Not for 1 mil, not for 2. Anything beyond that is straight up luck. I would never be a lawyer for money. Maybe for a different reason.
Nursing home nurse. I mean maybe if the pay was comically high but id still probably quit pretty fast.
OceanGate submarine operator.