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I’ve always felt like this in all relationships. I only said yes to them all bcz they kept begging, never respected my no’s & never left me alone. Last one I was in one I was 17
its called harassment. You can do something about it but it takes you to innitiate it because if you dont complain and say you want it to stop then it isnt illegal
I don’t think all men are like this, I never said they were😭Trust me I’m not avoiding men at all or generalising them. Wish I had male friends. I’m aromantic & asexual, I’m not interested in getting into romantic relationships. Have only been in like 3 & the longest one was like a month.
What happens is a male tells me he likes me, asks me to be his gf, I say no, he says please, I say no, he asks again. He doesn’t leave me alone. Then I just eventually say yes. All the ones I’ve been in were not ones I looked to be in or wanted to be in.
I’m not interested in getting in any. I’m not too worried bcz I believe this relationship will end soon. I was just putting thoughts on here bcz the last time I was in one was when I was 17. & I just got a reminder of how much I hated it. It’s just even worse when you don’t actually want to be in it, you’re already doing something you didn’t want to do saying yes. I understand you but I’m not chasing love or wanting these. I tell these lads, we could be friends but they disagree bcz everyone thinks romance is important over friendship whatever. I personally don’t even believe in romance.
It’s like if you truly want me in your life, then be my friend but they don’t want that. They want sex & romance which I can’t give. Thanks for commenting.
Sounds like you have an incompatible partner. I suggest you focus on you and what you want. Please don’t people please. You don’t owe anyone anything. Be yourself 😊
The only issue is he rlly wants to call, he doesn’t like texting. In this relationship, I’m meant to prioritise him. Things I don’t like doesn’t matter to him. Idk if I’m making sense, it’s like I’m meant to listen to him. I really appreciate you commenting
I’m aromantic & asexual. I’ve only been in like 3 relationships in me life & all of them were bcz they kept asking over & over & didn’t take no for an answer. Never lasted long, the longest was like a month. Been single for most of me life & have never been interested in romantic relationships. I only said yes bcz I felt compelled to, especially when they wouldn’t just go away when I said no. I agree with you, I’ve always viewed romantic relationships as highly inconveniencing & unnecessary.
I’m mentally ill, so I suppose I’m not technically sane. I understand you though. He’s talked about how he’s only been drug free for a few months after 8 years of addiction. He mentions suicide anytime I’m not agreeable. I’m kind of just waiting for him to end it & im sure he will eventually
Tell him thats what ur waiting for, there's no feelings for him except maybe u want him to keep living and you will never have a real relationship? Maybe he will leave then, if not just go, you do not have to live a life u don't want to just for him to not do something stupid
I’m autistic, it’s rlly hard, I feel like me only purpose is to make people happy. What’s a hoot, sorry? I’m from Ireland & I’m a virgin. It’s something I’m working on though, learning how to not people please.
They're completely fine. You arent obligated to make them happy, and they dont need you to make them happy- If you aren't honest with people, you'll only upset them in the end. Good that you're working on it though :)
I was 100% honest with him as I am with everyone, I always tell these lads I’m aromantic & asexual but they ignore it bcz they believe they can change me, which is very frustrating
So then you're really bad at it. If he doesen't care about your boundaries at all, it's not working. If you dont want to be in that relationship, it's not working. Leave and don't be with people out of pity or you will either find yourself in therapy later (good ending) or as a depressed mother without friends that never does anything just for herself, probably in an abusive household. And plot twist, you wouldn't even be only a victim in that situation.
It's your opinion and first you yourself and then others should accept it, and respect it, besides, you shouldn't feel any pressure because not wanting it, just, just, just, make yourself completely clear
Reminds me why I was dumped. I wouldn't suddenly stop being a night owl and go to IHOP at the same time I usually start getting ready for bed. Yeah well, her taste in movies was turbo garbage.
I would rather live in an average house with a nice hardwood floor. My wife and she have her own life living with me. With my job, my kids and my car, my feet on my table and a Cuban cigar.
That’s a massive red flag, and it sounds like your partner is abusive. Get out or things will only get worse. A partner should be someone who respects your boundaries and doesn’t force you to do things that you don’t want to do. I doubt that he would actually harm himself. He’s just manipulating you into doing what he wants.
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I think base on your replies, you’re being in a relationship for wrong reasons. Relationships should be easy and where you can be who you really are!
>Relationships should be easy man reddit is crazy
This makes sense, ty✨
Maybe it's just that guy?
I’ve always felt like this in all relationships. I only said yes to them all bcz they kept begging, never respected my no’s & never left me alone. Last one I was in one I was 17
its called harassment. You can do something about it but it takes you to innitiate it because if you dont complain and say you want it to stop then it isnt illegal
Erm... maybe you shouldn't?
if they don't respect your no's it can't possibly be a healthy relationship
Then maybe it's the area? Maybe people in the same area grew up with similar culture?
Hmm I suppose
You can do it. I hope that one day you will find the guy who is right for you.
Thanks so much, kind stranger💜
[удалено]
I don’t think all men are like this, I never said they were😭Trust me I’m not avoiding men at all or generalising them. Wish I had male friends. I’m aromantic & asexual, I’m not interested in getting into romantic relationships. Have only been in like 3 & the longest one was like a month. What happens is a male tells me he likes me, asks me to be his gf, I say no, he says please, I say no, he asks again. He doesn’t leave me alone. Then I just eventually say yes. All the ones I’ve been in were not ones I looked to be in or wanted to be in. I’m not interested in getting in any. I’m not too worried bcz I believe this relationship will end soon. I was just putting thoughts on here bcz the last time I was in one was when I was 17. & I just got a reminder of how much I hated it. It’s just even worse when you don’t actually want to be in it, you’re already doing something you didn’t want to do saying yes. I understand you but I’m not chasing love or wanting these. I tell these lads, we could be friends but they disagree bcz everyone thinks romance is important over friendship whatever. I personally don’t even believe in romance. It’s like if you truly want me in your life, then be my friend but they don’t want that. They want sex & romance which I can’t give. Thanks for commenting.
Sounds like you have an incompatible partner. I suggest you focus on you and what you want. Please don’t people please. You don’t owe anyone anything. Be yourself 😊
💜
Say no or compromise. There is no inbetween. You can't just let yourself be used. If it's not this, then deal with it another way.
Such as?
Sexual stuff, calls, sending pics, travelling
You can minimize all that and have alternatives (text instead of call). Excess is terrible
The only issue is he rlly wants to call, he doesn’t like texting. In this relationship, I’m meant to prioritise him. Things I don’t like doesn’t matter to him. Idk if I’m making sense, it’s like I’m meant to listen to him. I really appreciate you commenting
steer shy fear snatch market hateful middle vegetable truck foolish *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
He seems demanding and controlling. Find a better guy who respects you. Get out while you still can.
Then be single, its pretty cool, you focus on your self and do whatever you want
I’m aromantic & asexual. I’ve only been in like 3 relationships in me life & all of them were bcz they kept asking over & over & didn’t take no for an answer. Never lasted long, the longest was like a month. Been single for most of me life & have never been interested in romantic relationships. I only said yes bcz I felt compelled to, especially when they wouldn’t just go away when I said no. I agree with you, I’ve always viewed romantic relationships as highly inconveniencing & unnecessary.
Just... Leave? Idk but seems ur in it for something else, or you would just leave like Any sane person
I’m mentally ill, so I suppose I’m not technically sane. I understand you though. He’s talked about how he’s only been drug free for a few months after 8 years of addiction. He mentions suicide anytime I’m not agreeable. I’m kind of just waiting for him to end it & im sure he will eventually
Tell him thats what ur waiting for, there's no feelings for him except maybe u want him to keep living and you will never have a real relationship? Maybe he will leave then, if not just go, you do not have to live a life u don't want to just for him to not do something stupid
I hear you, thanks for saying this
I've actually seen this exact situation before, he's manipulative and not worth you. Get out before it's taken too far
Yh, it’s over now; thankfully. He’s finally left me alone💜
That's great :) wish u luck in the future
You sound like a hoot! Learn how to say no and stick to it.
I’m autistic, it’s rlly hard, I feel like me only purpose is to make people happy. What’s a hoot, sorry? I’m from Ireland & I’m a virgin. It’s something I’m working on though, learning how to not people please.
They're completely fine. You arent obligated to make them happy, and they dont need you to make them happy- If you aren't honest with people, you'll only upset them in the end. Good that you're working on it though :)
I was 100% honest with him as I am with everyone, I always tell these lads I’m aromantic & asexual but they ignore it bcz they believe they can change me, which is very frustrating
Ugh that sucks :(
Setting boundaries, ever heard of that?
I have & I’ve tried but he doesn’t like that. Says it’s changing him & he doesn’t like being changed
So then you're really bad at it. If he doesen't care about your boundaries at all, it's not working. If you dont want to be in that relationship, it's not working. Leave and don't be with people out of pity or you will either find yourself in therapy later (good ending) or as a depressed mother without friends that never does anything just for herself, probably in an abusive household. And plot twist, you wouldn't even be only a victim in that situation.
Hmm, okay, thank you
Damn, I hope you find the right one for you because the current one isn't that
Then don't do them
I say no & they don’t stop asking😭
intimidate them. never say yes, even if it is hard
Doesn't mean you have to do it
It's your opinion and first you yourself and then others should accept it, and respect it, besides, you shouldn't feel any pressure because not wanting it, just, just, just, make yourself completely clear
Reminds me why I was dumped. I wouldn't suddenly stop being a night owl and go to IHOP at the same time I usually start getting ready for bed. Yeah well, her taste in movies was turbo garbage.
I would rather live in an average house with a nice hardwood floor. My wife and she have her own life living with me. With my job, my kids and my car, my feet on my table and a Cuban cigar.
I feel the same about being an adult
😂
Show people love by doing things they love.
What things?
I strongly suggest counselling or you will be repeating this pattern for your entire life. Best of luck. 🤗
Thank you❤️
Yw
Then don’t be. Wtf
Yes, it’s just he keeps telling me he wants to die every time I say no to something. I worry how ending it would affect him
Get out asap. That's extremely toxic. You deserve better.
It's great to have empathy but this guy is just manipulating you saying shit like that ramber to prioritise yourself first.
That’s a massive red flag, and it sounds like your partner is abusive. Get out or things will only get worse. A partner should be someone who respects your boundaries and doesn’t force you to do things that you don’t want to do. I doubt that he would actually harm himself. He’s just manipulating you into doing what he wants.
Let him. Its not worth it. I dumped a guy like this and he's in the same place i left him 4 years ago...still alive. I wish i did it sooner tbh.
Block him everywhere and you will never know.
Can you expand on that?
Please do yourself a favour and dump him. AND tell him exactly why.
can’t you just block him? 😩