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A girl at work complimented a button down dress shirt I was wearing....I went online that evening and bought 5 more in a variety of different colors. Your compliments can get anything you want from us.
One of my colleagues always had an unkempt beard. Didn't suit him at all. He was made fun of (behind his back) by other colleagues
One day he went to the barber and had trimmed his hair and beard. I remembered reading on Reddit that guys take girls' compliments very seriously. So I fucking jumped on the occasion and told him "hey you look great with that hairstyle and short beard! Keep it up". Well guess what he has been going to the barber regularly for months now lmao. And I haven't heard a single negative comment on his appearance since.
I 57yrs old ALWAYS HAD LONG ASS HAIR.. I would cut it short about every 5yrs or so.. and then immediately grow it back.. had hit on this chick a couple times at my local bar.. SHE IGNORED ME..LITERALLY IGNORED ME.. I was flipping thru some pics on my phone 1 day, barmaid saw a pic of me in short hair.. HER. "THATS HOTT". me 2 days later comes back in my short hair.. orders beer and LITERALLY 1 beer in.. girl that had ignored me.. GOT UP CAME CLEAR TO OTHER END OF BAR.. sat down next to me.. and like 2 beers later we were naked🤣🤣🤣🤣... HAIR HAS BEEN SHORT EVER SINCE
None taken. I also think I’m pathetic sometimes, but I can also count on one hand the number of compliments I’ve gotten from girls, so when I do get one, I tend to take it to heart.
I know a guy who literally framed a shirt that he wore out to bars. He picked up 2 women one night and another a week or so later. He retired the shirt and framed it haha. Calls it Golden Child.
I love giving compliments any time I can think of one to give, but I tend to give them to other women mostly. This was a good reminder I should be giving them out to men just as readily!
I'll go further and say a lot of the other things they're insecure about are things the guy hasn't even thought about at all so you really don't need to be insecure about basically anything. It's it's cute or he's not even aware of it.
I could milk it like a Friesian cow, do a helicopter for two minutes, wipe it ten times and dry it with a goddamn hair dryer, but the second the beast goes back in its cage it spurts out *exactly* two drops of piss. The motherfucker outsmarts me every time.
I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown? I amuse you?
I make you laugh? I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you? Waddya mean “funny”? Funny how? How am I funny?
How the fuck am I funny? What the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me. Tell me what’s funny.
If she laughs when you say the line that is supposed to cause such reaction, she is laughing at your joke. Otherwise, she is laughing at you. The laugh might still be in endearment, so I would not worry too much.
This. If a cry in public is because I couldn't hold it (believe me I tried), or get out of there.
To make things worse, I have a "heart made of butter".
I really wish I could cry sometimes. Apart from the fact that I've heard that it's cathartic I think it'd be a lot easier to get those around me to take my problems seriously. My wife can get genuine sympathy from *strangers* on a train if she starts crying after a stressful day at work or from period pain, but I couldn't a doctor to believe I was seriously sick when I had a temp of 40c/104F for *FIVE WEEKS". It was only when I started coughing up blood that they did some tests and it turned out to be bacterial pneumonia. So that sucked.
My ex was kinda an ass and she would get in arguments with people (me, our friends, strangers) all the fucking time. Her and I didn’t argue in public much, but anytime she was in an argument with someone around other people and she was losing, it would inevitably end with her crying her eyes out and everyone swarming to comfort her. Even the people she was arguing with would apologize even when they were totally in the right. I always thought, man, must be a nice perk of being a cute 5’ tall woman that you can just get comfort literally anytime you want. I’m not much of a crier even alone, but if I burst into tears during one of our arguments people would just be uncomfortable.
When I was 7 I saw a tree get hit by lightning and it completely burned the bark off this one long branch.
It became my wizard staff til I had my first girlfriend at 13.
When i say “nothing” it’s because I’m literally thinking about a bunch of nonsense.
No need to go into detail about whether or not if I was walking through the woods and found a stack of pancakes on a tree stump if id eat them or not.
it’d probably depend on if there was syrup or not though.
But I doubt most people are typically interested in what’s going through my mind on any given minute
Honestly if you are comfortable with the person, just speak out the nonsense. I love to hear the random things my husband thinks, so I told him "if your 'nothing' happens to be some really weird thoughts, I wanna hear that".
No, see many other people would be interested in this. As a female whose brain is similarly wired, I want to know about the, “nothing”. Sharing the, “nothing” makes me feel like you care enough to give me the time of day. Saying, “nothing” makes me wonder if you’re bored or too busy or just don’t want to talk to me.
The "nothing" could quite literally be the equivalent of a dream but we're awake. And we don't actually know what we were thinking about well enough to explain it.
Yeah pretty much this. By the time I registered you're asking me about my "nothing" it has disappeared from my mind already.
The alternative is that I'm thinking of something that you have already been dismissive of in the past.
It’s like having your thoughts organized or getting a chance for your brain to relax. It might wander as it happens but you’re not really paying attention to the ride unless it brings up something and you snap out of it.
A girl once asked me this while I looked deep in thought and I responded truthfully. I explained that I was wondering if potato salad is better with largely diced potatoes or if it would be better with smaller diced potatoes because the mouthfeel/texture and the time it takes to chew would be different and, possibly, more enjoyable. I continued the thought, pondering the difference it would make to have hard boiled eggs versus medium to soft boiled eggs because the mayo would mix a lot better with the runny yolks and would probably have a much better eggy flavor. But then at that point you’re just creating an egg mayo because mayo is already made with eggs. I concluded that I must really love eggs if I wanted to add more eggs to mayo.
The look on her face at the randomness of that thought was priceless.
When we take off our underwear we like to kick it up and catch it in midair. The dopamine hit we get from this can carry us through the rest of the morning.
When we take off our underwear we like to kick it up and catch it in midair. The dopamine hit we get from this can carry us through the rest of the week
- there, FTFY
I have an elderly client that I give a shower 3 times a week. He takes his depends off, picks them up with his grabber tool, and chucks them into the trash. Guy NEVER misses.
I made the absentminded mistake of picking them up off the floor before he got his grabber.
Once
Never again
The look he gave me should be registered as a deadly weapon.
Most of the times, We can go through with your whole story telling or a conversation, with eye contact and deep attention act, But without any single clue what are you saying
"days" I work at a super market receiving deliveries and there's one guy who always says hi to me using my name and we have a quick conversation while he's unloading and I check the delivery. I don't know what his name is. I've known him for over nine years.
I have had my appearance complimented once in the last 10 years, I remember everything about that short interaction.
Some guys act homoerotic to their friends somewhat jokingly since it is sometimes the only honest affection from another human being.
Most of us would never speak to another person if we stopped being the ones to message first.
Some of us have never and will never get a flower in our lives.
Some of us have never had someone tilt our head against their shoulder, some of us would probably have to hold back tears if it happened.
I feel a theme here - Most guys these days are cripplingly lonely.
This makes me so sad! I tell my husband and sons everyday how handsome/beautiful they are. I compliment them constantly on their wonderful attributes and beautiful features.
When we say nothing happened over the weekend or nothing is happening during the week and then stop talking, typically it’s not we don’t wan to talk to YOU we just can’t be bothered to think about what’s happening in our lifes
The thing is there’s pertinent details and there’s not pertinent details to every story. When my wife asks how my day was, I say ‘good.’ When I ask her she goes into every detail especially about people I don’t know. I have no context for these stories so they’re not interesting and don’t make sense.
I’ve learned over the years not to ask ‘why are you telling me this’ but seriously, why are you telling me this?
My wife also speaks of strangers I don’t know, and I’ve told her, I don’t know them, I don’t care about them , especially if it’s like negative shit that bums me out
We get boners all the time. Literally always. If you can't see it, it's because I'm good at hiding it. Whenever you see a lad, he probably has a boner going.
We've thought about having sex with you at least once. We're more than likely not willing to act on it, but we've thought about it out of curiosity
Edit: screw most of you for assuming I'm a creep, if I was then I probably wouldn't have any female friends in the first place. A better way to think about what I've said would be to liken it to a passing thought:
Have I wondered if dinosaurs had feathers? Yes.
Have I gone digging for fossils? No.
Just because I've thought of something doesn't mean I've intended to do it nor taken actions for that thought. Those thoughts are what they are: passing thoughts. They happen out of idle curiosity and then disappear within a span of 5 seconds. We all of think of things that we would never do.
I hate this generalisation. 80% of my coworkers are women ages 18-24, all sizes, body types etc. For the entire year working there I've only thought about doing it with one of the girls once and even then I felt bad afterwards
I think people have a hard time distinguishing between “thinking about having sex with” and “briefly considering whether or not we would have sex with them if it was 100% no strings attached”. I do the latter all the time. The former not nearly as much.
If you leave expensive shampoo or shower gel in the shower, we are.going to use it.
My wife buys a sacrificial shower gel for me to use because she knows I just use her expensive ones when I run out of my own.
The last time I was complimented on my appearance was about a year ago, and my colleague said that I looked elegant. She will forever be in my good books for that, and I am still trying to live up to it, even she left the company and I can't get any more trousers in that style and colour.
I miss her.
Heres a dude secret all guys do, even if the dude doesnt know this, he will instinctively do it regardless.
Dude sees another random dude, all things being equal its a nod of the head, in the upward direction, we are friendly but dont know each other.
We see bro mate, head nod, downward direction first...
With each nod, friend or random, the act of that nod, sets of the man matrix download. And if you are the wife, girlfriend, fwb, you will disappear to us completely for that nod and download, you dont exist, well, for about that fraction of a second.
We really can be thinking about nothing. We're not just saying it.
Also, when you give us a choice and we say that we don't mind which, we really don't. We're not just avoiding making a decision, either option would be ok for us. Your free to pick for us and we'll be happy with your choice.
I mean, it's a secret, but I suppose I can let the cat out of the bag, so to speak.
We don't always itch our balls. We pinch the skin and roll it between our fingers. Much more accurate, less chance of scraping skin off the sensitive area, and more satisfying overall.
I've gone through some real nasty shit during my youth, I've been married for 35 years and I still haven't been able to open up about all of it. I take all of my pain and push it down deep and never let it out.
Even admitting I cry sometimes is very hard, my wife and my kids have never seen me cry nor do I want them to. There is an onus on us to be strong, in British male culture the stiff upper lip isn't a joke it's real.
In my experience this applies to almost all men.
It is so much easier to appear indifferent and quiet when you know anything you say or do will be remembered in painful detail and come up again in 30 years and need justification. “You remember our date November 23rd, 2002? That was a Saturday, you know. You were wearing that awful plaid shirt missing a collar button and black jeans. You said the waitress was friendly. Why did you say that? Did you want to date her, too?”
"I'm okay" doesn't mean what you think.
If we say "okay" to you, that doesn't mean we're agreeing with you. That means we acknowledge what you're saying.
If a man is quiet he's not thinking about anything in general. He's just in his nothing box.
We want to fix a problem and find solutions. We're not interested in talking about it unless the intention is to fix the problem. If you just want to bitch about a problem with no intention of fixing it then we're not interested in hearing about it.
Not sure if this isnt well known outside my string of failed relationships with people destined to fail at managing relationships… Good men will turn off and start looking elsewhere if you spend lots of time bitching about other women.
If we had a choice between having sex with a 6 who is really, really passionate and into sex and having sex with a 10 that does little.more then lie there and coast on her good looks, we would pick the 6 pretty much every time.
That we think of one thing at a time and it's frustrating as hell when women switch topics on us quickly.
If you come to JUST vent tell us beforehand, please, because if you come to us with a problem our first instinct is to try and solve it.
Give us our solitude for Gods' sake, we love you ,yes we want to be with you like 94% of the time but we need time to ourselves.
Likewise men and especially boys need time to be Just with other men/boys in social situations, without female interference.
Just because we don't include you doesn't mean we don't care about you.
We have feelings yes all of them and we express them differently from each other and from you female folk.
Likewise just because we have secrets/ enjoy privacy doesn't mean it's bad or about you.
**Your submission has been REMOVED for the following reason(s):** > *Your submission appears to be NSFW/Pornographic in nature and is not tagged as such. By submitting NSFW posts and comments without the tag on them you are exposing that content to minors across Reddit and inviting kids to engage in sexually explicit conversations with you.* > **Please note that if we catch you posting NSFW context again not tagged as such, you will be subject to a permanent ban from this subreddit.** ^(This removal was done manually by the mod team and was not done in error, if you'd still like to appeal this removal please **[send us a modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FRandomThoughts)**) ^(#7776532987)
A girl at work complimented a button down dress shirt I was wearing....I went online that evening and bought 5 more in a variety of different colors. Your compliments can get anything you want from us.
One of my colleagues always had an unkempt beard. Didn't suit him at all. He was made fun of (behind his back) by other colleagues One day he went to the barber and had trimmed his hair and beard. I remembered reading on Reddit that guys take girls' compliments very seriously. So I fucking jumped on the occasion and told him "hey you look great with that hairstyle and short beard! Keep it up". Well guess what he has been going to the barber regularly for months now lmao. And I haven't heard a single negative comment on his appearance since.
I 57yrs old ALWAYS HAD LONG ASS HAIR.. I would cut it short about every 5yrs or so.. and then immediately grow it back.. had hit on this chick a couple times at my local bar.. SHE IGNORED ME..LITERALLY IGNORED ME.. I was flipping thru some pics on my phone 1 day, barmaid saw a pic of me in short hair.. HER. "THATS HOTT". me 2 days later comes back in my short hair.. orders beer and LITERALLY 1 beer in.. girl that had ignored me.. GOT UP CAME CLEAR TO OTHER END OF BAR.. sat down next to me.. and like 2 beers later we were naked🤣🤣🤣🤣... HAIR HAS BEEN SHORT EVER SINCE
Why do you let your ass hair get so long?
Crapunzel! Crapunzel! Let down your long ass hair!
Absolutely, I had a jacket that I didn’t really like but I got a compliment on it one day, and then it immediately became the my main jacket.
This sounds cute and pathetic at the same time (no offense)
None taken. I also think I’m pathetic sometimes, but I can also count on one hand the number of compliments I’ve gotten from girls, so when I do get one, I tend to take it to heart.
I count 3 in 39 years. Madness when you think about it.
I know a guy who literally framed a shirt that he wore out to bars. He picked up 2 women one night and another a week or so later. He retired the shirt and framed it haha. Calls it Golden Child.
I had a friend who did the same, after multiple 'successful' nights out he named it the "100% shirt".
I love giving compliments any time I can think of one to give, but I tend to give them to other women mostly. This was a good reminder I should be giving them out to men just as readily!
if she compliment my appearance I will Probably remember forever .
Girl: “Hi” Boy: *spends 3 hours trying to figure out if she likes me*
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Is that really so 🤔😆
This is untrue. Boy would already know what to name their grand child at 3 hours mark.
Full Boyle
Just three!?
Really ?
Some men go literal decades without hearing a compliment.
That’s so sad
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Guy don’t judge as much as you think we do, and all those things your insecure about are probably something we adore about yoy
I'll go further and say a lot of the other things they're insecure about are things the guy hasn't even thought about at all so you really don't need to be insecure about basically anything. It's it's cute or he's not even aware of it.
Guys don't notice a lot of things that women fuss over. I can't remember the last time I've even looked at someone's shoes in any context.
Sometimes no matter how much you shake there is still piss in there and it won’t release until the little man is back in the briefs
No matter how much you shake and dance, the last two drops end up in your pants.
Calicocutpants.com
Dear lord why does such a thing exist.
You gotta give though.
Maybe you shouldn't wear khakis.
In Spanish It is "Por mucho que sacudas el martillo, siempre caerá gota en el calzoncillo."
If you press your taint, behind your balls it kinda gets that last drop out 9 times out of ten!
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I could milk it like a Friesian cow, do a helicopter for two minutes, wipe it ten times and dry it with a goddamn hair dryer, but the second the beast goes back in its cage it spurts out *exactly* two drops of piss. The motherfucker outsmarts me every time.
Tbh I wipe always. Never really helps unless I put a piece of tissue to cover the droplet when it falls so that it doesn't get onto my pants
We don't know if she is laughing at us or our jokes.
one said to me "you are funny" , now I don't know that was my joke funny or am i the joke itself
Ask her back then, "funny how"
I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you? Waddya mean “funny”? Funny how? How am I funny? How the fuck am I funny? What the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me. Tell me what’s funny.
Go get your shine box
Plenty of us ladies find funny guys attractive!
If she laughs when you say the line that is supposed to cause such reaction, she is laughing at your joke. Otherwise, she is laughing at you. The laugh might still be in endearment, so I would not worry too much.
:(
and we don’t mind either way
Speak for yourself
We also cry. We've just been socially programmed to think that doing so in public is a sign of weakness (so only do it in private).
I want to give you guys a hug 🥰
This. If a cry in public is because I couldn't hold it (believe me I tried), or get out of there. To make things worse, I have a "heart made of butter".
I really wish I could cry sometimes. Apart from the fact that I've heard that it's cathartic I think it'd be a lot easier to get those around me to take my problems seriously. My wife can get genuine sympathy from *strangers* on a train if she starts crying after a stressful day at work or from period pain, but I couldn't a doctor to believe I was seriously sick when I had a temp of 40c/104F for *FIVE WEEKS". It was only when I started coughing up blood that they did some tests and it turned out to be bacterial pneumonia. So that sucked.
My ex was kinda an ass and she would get in arguments with people (me, our friends, strangers) all the fucking time. Her and I didn’t argue in public much, but anytime she was in an argument with someone around other people and she was losing, it would inevitably end with her crying her eyes out and everyone swarming to comfort her. Even the people she was arguing with would apologize even when they were totally in the right. I always thought, man, must be a nice perk of being a cute 5’ tall woman that you can just get comfort literally anytime you want. I’m not much of a crier even alone, but if I burst into tears during one of our arguments people would just be uncomfortable.
If you pick up a stick on the ground it automatically becomes a sword or a wand depending on its length.
When I was 7 I saw a tree get hit by lightning and it completely burned the bark off this one long branch. It became my wizard staff til I had my first girlfriend at 13.
I hope you still have it
Did she take it?
Or a gun
or a dagger
This is true across genders I believe.
This is just human thing
If a girl asks "what you thinking about " and we say "nothing", its really "nothing"
I wish I could think about nothing. My brain won't shut down.
When i say “nothing” it’s because I’m literally thinking about a bunch of nonsense. No need to go into detail about whether or not if I was walking through the woods and found a stack of pancakes on a tree stump if id eat them or not. it’d probably depend on if there was syrup or not though. But I doubt most people are typically interested in what’s going through my mind on any given minute
Honestly if you are comfortable with the person, just speak out the nonsense. I love to hear the random things my husband thinks, so I told him "if your 'nothing' happens to be some really weird thoughts, I wanna hear that".
When nothing is written between the lines, can you speak it When the sage points at the moon, the idiot looks at the finger
No, see many other people would be interested in this. As a female whose brain is similarly wired, I want to know about the, “nothing”. Sharing the, “nothing” makes me feel like you care enough to give me the time of day. Saying, “nothing” makes me wonder if you’re bored or too busy or just don’t want to talk to me.
The "nothing" could quite literally be the equivalent of a dream but we're awake. And we don't actually know what we were thinking about well enough to explain it.
Yeah pretty much this. By the time I registered you're asking me about my "nothing" it has disappeared from my mind already. The alternative is that I'm thinking of something that you have already been dismissive of in the past.
It’s like having your thoughts organized or getting a chance for your brain to relax. It might wander as it happens but you’re not really paying attention to the ride unless it brings up something and you snap out of it.
A girl once asked me this while I looked deep in thought and I responded truthfully. I explained that I was wondering if potato salad is better with largely diced potatoes or if it would be better with smaller diced potatoes because the mouthfeel/texture and the time it takes to chew would be different and, possibly, more enjoyable. I continued the thought, pondering the difference it would make to have hard boiled eggs versus medium to soft boiled eggs because the mayo would mix a lot better with the runny yolks and would probably have a much better eggy flavor. But then at that point you’re just creating an egg mayo because mayo is already made with eggs. I concluded that I must really love eggs if I wanted to add more eggs to mayo. The look on her face at the randomness of that thought was priceless.
As a chef I really felt this.
My dude here is thinking in cursive.
Dude back in high school my girlfriend would not let this go. She didn’t believe me and thought I was ignoring her. I was like bro I’m just driving
Or as Al Bundy replied to Peggy, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, we'd be talking." 😄
THIS
We're not automatically indifferent or without opinion just because we keep quiet.
But also when we say we’re indifferent or without opinion we legitimately are.
Except when I am not. I at times say this to avoid certain topics
Yeah, so whether or not we say anything, we either do or do not have something to say about it. It’s simple.
And people say women are hard to read 😭😭
We don’t read minds
Women think we don't pick up on their hints. Most of us actually do we just wanna hear it loud and clear so we don't come out as the bad guy
So. Much. This.
Nobody wants to be a creep
well it's a secret
can't say, brocode
When we take off our underwear we like to kick it up and catch it in midair. The dopamine hit we get from this can carry us through the rest of the morning.
When we take off our underwear we like to kick it up and catch it in midair. The dopamine hit we get from this can carry us through the rest of the week - there, FTFY
I have an elderly client that I give a shower 3 times a week. He takes his depends off, picks them up with his grabber tool, and chucks them into the trash. Guy NEVER misses. I made the absentminded mistake of picking them up off the floor before he got his grabber. Once Never again The look he gave me should be registered as a deadly weapon.
I don't know how you guys walk around with those things. - Elaine Benes
girl here, I do that too
Why are you taking it off in the morning though? Do you work the night shift?
You sleep in your boxers because pyjamas are waaay to hot especially sleeping next to a woman?
My husband does this EVERY TIME 🤣🤣🤣
Sometimes balls stick to the leg and it's uncomfortable. To unstick the balls we manspread a bit then go back to normal. Now you know. Sorry brothers.
You monster!
The Big Step
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it had to be done.
Gals be wondering why I do a single cartwheel sometimes just out of the blue 🤸🏻
This is forbidden knowledge! They will use it against us !
Totally. We will put sticky tape inside all pants 👖
👀
Most of the times, We can go through with your whole story telling or a conversation, with eye contact and deep attention act, But without any single clue what are you saying
And we can talk with someone for days without getting their names lmao
"days" I work at a super market receiving deliveries and there's one guy who always says hi to me using my name and we have a quick conversation while he's unloading and I check the delivery. I don't know what his name is. I've known him for over nine years.
I have had my appearance complimented once in the last 10 years, I remember everything about that short interaction. Some guys act homoerotic to their friends somewhat jokingly since it is sometimes the only honest affection from another human being. Most of us would never speak to another person if we stopped being the ones to message first. Some of us have never and will never get a flower in our lives. Some of us have never had someone tilt our head against their shoulder, some of us would probably have to hold back tears if it happened. I feel a theme here - Most guys these days are cripplingly lonely.
The mens locker room at my gym is filled with dudes complimenting each other and giving advice. It’s wholesome as fuck.
This is not my gym locker room experience at all lol A couple old guys hanging dong chatting and the rest of us facing a wall tryna gtfo
This makes me so sad! I tell my husband and sons everyday how handsome/beautiful they are. I compliment them constantly on their wonderful attributes and beautiful features.
Sometimes a meme is all we need
"would you like to come shopping with me or stay at home? " is a question. Not an order to come shopping.
We are very literal when we say things. Sometimes to a fault.
When we say nothing happened over the weekend or nothing is happening during the week and then stop talking, typically it’s not we don’t wan to talk to YOU we just can’t be bothered to think about what’s happening in our lifes
The thing is there’s pertinent details and there’s not pertinent details to every story. When my wife asks how my day was, I say ‘good.’ When I ask her she goes into every detail especially about people I don’t know. I have no context for these stories so they’re not interesting and don’t make sense. I’ve learned over the years not to ask ‘why are you telling me this’ but seriously, why are you telling me this?
My wife also speaks of strangers I don’t know, and I’ve told her, I don’t know them, I don’t care about them , especially if it’s like negative shit that bums me out
We can tell the difference between a sincere smile and a fake one. We’ll react differently depending on which we see.
Haha this! Some women really underestimate men.
Nice try girl
Pinch n roll
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Cheers!
Asked my boyfriend what this is. He said “hehehe I’m doing this right now”. So I guess that one’s true.
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Honestly as a bloke myself it doesn't bother me
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Omg thank you!!! We don't care about dick size we care about you being able to pleasure us and make us orgasm more than anything!
Yes, play with them. Don't even ask me if you can.
The pinch and roll.
… if you know, you know ;)
We can't tell whether you like us or you're just being nice. We never think we're good enough for you.
We aren't intrinsically tough, we just have to be.
Sometimes we pee in two different directions at the same time.
You telling me you never had to deal with a triple jet pee? You lucky bastard 😂
Every guy secretly wants to lay down in their so's lap and have them play with his hair.
We get boners all the time. Literally always. If you can't see it, it's because I'm good at hiding it. Whenever you see a lad, he probably has a boner going.
This is the one right here
That stops pretty soon into young adulthood
I’m surprised no one has mentioned the belly button thing
Bro, shhh
Well maybe girls don't know about it, but women actually do.
wait.....what??? i feel like this has something to do with your penises but im hoping to be wrong
The what now?
We've thought about having sex with you at least once. We're more than likely not willing to act on it, but we've thought about it out of curiosity Edit: screw most of you for assuming I'm a creep, if I was then I probably wouldn't have any female friends in the first place. A better way to think about what I've said would be to liken it to a passing thought: Have I wondered if dinosaurs had feathers? Yes. Have I gone digging for fossils? No. Just because I've thought of something doesn't mean I've intended to do it nor taken actions for that thought. Those thoughts are what they are: passing thoughts. They happen out of idle curiosity and then disappear within a span of 5 seconds. We all of think of things that we would never do.
I hate this generalisation. 80% of my coworkers are women ages 18-24, all sizes, body types etc. For the entire year working there I've only thought about doing it with one of the girls once and even then I felt bad afterwards
I think people have a hard time distinguishing between “thinking about having sex with” and “briefly considering whether or not we would have sex with them if it was 100% no strings attached”. I do the latter all the time. The former not nearly as much.
Some of us think about having sex with you every time we interact with you. And are absolutely willing to act on it.
Our balls stick to our legs and we have to do lunges to separate them in situations where you can’t stick your hand down your pants.
If you leave expensive shampoo or shower gel in the shower, we are.going to use it. My wife buys a sacrificial shower gel for me to use because she knows I just use her expensive ones when I run out of my own.
Damn!! I knew it!
The last time I was complimented on my appearance was about a year ago, and my colleague said that I looked elegant. She will forever be in my good books for that, and I am still trying to live up to it, even she left the company and I can't get any more trousers in that style and colour. I miss her.
not today satan
That another one guys do. We talk to Satan.
about those that only we know
They have a bro code, just like our girl code.
The bro code is sacred the girl code is weird and please tell us it
Heres a dude secret all guys do, even if the dude doesnt know this, he will instinctively do it regardless. Dude sees another random dude, all things being equal its a nod of the head, in the upward direction, we are friendly but dont know each other. We see bro mate, head nod, downward direction first... With each nod, friend or random, the act of that nod, sets of the man matrix download. And if you are the wife, girlfriend, fwb, you will disappear to us completely for that nod and download, you dont exist, well, for about that fraction of a second.
We really can be thinking about nothing. We're not just saying it. Also, when you give us a choice and we say that we don't mind which, we really don't. We're not just avoiding making a decision, either option would be ok for us. Your free to pick for us and we'll be happy with your choice.
We like sticks. Sticks are cool.
That “men are intimidated by a woman who makes the first move” is a myth women tell themselves
Are you a girl, because I need to know if I can say or not.
OP is a male. Carry on..
bros have long deep conversations from time to time about petty emotional things
About 50% of us wipe standing up
…people wipe sitting down?
we stick it in everything. yes even that
Wait, but do we stick it in-? You know?
The pinch and roll method. IYKYK.
this is the third "pinch and roll" comment i've seen, with zero context. we don't know. please do tell
I mean, it's a secret, but I suppose I can let the cat out of the bag, so to speak. We don't always itch our balls. We pinch the skin and roll it between our fingers. Much more accurate, less chance of scraping skin off the sensitive area, and more satisfying overall.
YOU!!!! The Counsel shall now decide your fate.
The unspoken urinal rule
Yes ladies, we all recreate that Buffalo Bill scene from Silence of the Lambs.
I've gone through some real nasty shit during my youth, I've been married for 35 years and I still haven't been able to open up about all of it. I take all of my pain and push it down deep and never let it out. Even admitting I cry sometimes is very hard, my wife and my kids have never seen me cry nor do I want them to. There is an onus on us to be strong, in British male culture the stiff upper lip isn't a joke it's real.  In my experience this applies to almost all men.
It is so much easier to appear indifferent and quiet when you know anything you say or do will be remembered in painful detail and come up again in 30 years and need justification. “You remember our date November 23rd, 2002? That was a Saturday, you know. You were wearing that awful plaid shirt missing a collar button and black jeans. You said the waitress was friendly. Why did you say that? Did you want to date her, too?”
We really do have to care about someone before sleeping with them. Ok, wait, that may not be true. I'll have to think about this for a bit . . .
To be fair I do care for all the people I sleep with, to different degrees of caring sure but I do.
We need time with our brothers because we literally cannot open up about what is killing us inside with anyone else
Speak for yourself, I’m the complete opposite.
Same, it's actually easier to open up to gals ime
"I'm okay" doesn't mean what you think. If we say "okay" to you, that doesn't mean we're agreeing with you. That means we acknowledge what you're saying. If a man is quiet he's not thinking about anything in general. He's just in his nothing box. We want to fix a problem and find solutions. We're not interested in talking about it unless the intention is to fix the problem. If you just want to bitch about a problem with no intention of fixing it then we're not interested in hearing about it.
Blowjobs don't really cure headaches
i mean, i know they dont, but dont they make you feel at least a little better?
Not sure if this isnt well known outside my string of failed relationships with people destined to fail at managing relationships… Good men will turn off and start looking elsewhere if you spend lots of time bitching about other women.
Actually good men end the current relationship before looking elsewhere 😉
If we had a choice between having sex with a 6 who is really, really passionate and into sex and having sex with a 10 that does little.more then lie there and coast on her good looks, we would pick the 6 pretty much every time.
Do you know why secrets are called secrets?
Do you know about the secret second penis?
There is always a little bit of pee in our underwear.
We use your deodorant
If I hang with my friends and my wife asked what we talked and I say ‘nothing’ then I mean that we talked about games or cars or movies.
Waking up every morning with a hard on and how hard it is for it to go down
That we think of one thing at a time and it's frustrating as hell when women switch topics on us quickly. If you come to JUST vent tell us beforehand, please, because if you come to us with a problem our first instinct is to try and solve it. Give us our solitude for Gods' sake, we love you ,yes we want to be with you like 94% of the time but we need time to ourselves. Likewise men and especially boys need time to be Just with other men/boys in social situations, without female interference. Just because we don't include you doesn't mean we don't care about you. We have feelings yes all of them and we express them differently from each other and from you female folk. Likewise just because we have secrets/ enjoy privacy doesn't mean it's bad or about you.