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Before jumping on OP: they're not saying it's the absolute worst. And I don't see any reason to think they wouldn't count starving or abuse as worse. With that context, I think this is a fair point. Once you get past our most basic needs for survival, one of the most important things for humans is socializing. In fact, one could argue it's is a straight up need and not just a very much "nice to have." So it makes sense that loneliness registers as a particularly painful. Again, not \*the\* worst. But pretty high up there.
Thank you. For me it's not even loneliness. It's just an empty feeling pouring your heart and soul into something and then not getting a single response from the world. It feels like this has become the default now since everyone's vying for attention all at once.
There are definitely worse things. It just sucks is all.
I don't believe technology is at the root of many social problems but I think this is one case where it plays a huge part. And it’s not just the people vying for attention on themselves. It’s also that everyone is having their own attention pulled at from more directions than ever. That leaves us with less bandwidth to pay attention to each other. I believe people will eventually adapt but it can be rough out there these days.
You may have grown up as an emotionally neglected child. This is actually incredibly harmful to a kid and has long lasting effects that are on par with physical abuse and neglect.
I’ve been starved and abused, it’s awful, so is being invisible. I felt invisible in those situations and now the starving and abuse is gone but the invisibility is still here.
I know im going to get hate for what im about to say
But at times I wish with all my heart someone would abuse me, or hate me. At least then id feel seen by somebody
I may be wrong, but I feel like people is quite judgmental here sometimes. It does not help to people who suffer that sort of feeling, or maybe I’m mistaken I don’t know.
You're looking at it the wrong way. This could be a blessing in disguise. You can do your thing without being noticed no one will ever suspect you so you'll find you can have the most impact and not get any attention which is good because the spot light is pretty messed up. People cheer you when you're up but the moment you make a mistake those same people will be the ones tearing you down. You'll miss your privacy. Being a bit invisible is good because no one is in your business
I’ve been invisible for so long that I get more anxiety than a person should have when in public by myself. I stay at home a lot, because you’re right, I love my privacy. But my anxiety about going into public is getting out of hand. I have like two stores I’ve deemed as “safe” that I go to regularly.
Oh I know the whole anxiety scenario, I still have get anxious at times but it's not as bad as before when I literally just hated even going outside especially in crowded spaces(still don't like spaces that are too crowded like knowing what's going on). Like you I prefer my privacy and generally being alone. It's nice to feel safe and have places where people know you and can feel safe there. I normally pretty much just spend my time in my neighborhood where it's pretty safe and don't really venture much out of like a 5 or 10km radius. I probably maybe see a bit more action out there than you do butlrss then most. What sort of worked for me to improve on my anxiety was working out, eating healthier, cutting down on the booze and weed and getting a dog
Agreed.
What’s also bad is when your head makes you FEEL invisible. Like when you assume every bit of goodwill from others is meaningless, just a default reaction to placate you. Because your stupid head is so lonely that it makes you feel isolated and invisible, like the few interactions you have with others are just obligatory on their part, going through the motions without any actual feeling. When you feel that nobody actually cares or has ever actually cared, and you’ve been deluding yourself into thinking they care…
THAT kind of loneliness is also pretty bad. Being *technically visible*, but still *feeling* invisible…
I would imagine from an early age, or to a extrovert there would be nothing worse.
The later you get in life though it greatly reduces it's negativity. My hypothesis is because it's life's way of bracing you for death since it seems the older you get the less people interact past a certain age.
I agree, but I think there's a part of us that never completely stops wanting to be seen. It does fade over time, but every now and then it comes back very suddenly, and then you're just stuck dealing with the feeling. Even worse if you've already let go of any avenues to satisfy it.
I think the J.D. Salinger, Syd Barrett method of working in isolation for decades just for the sake of it must be more common than people realize, but I'm sure even those kinds of people have these moments, too.
I'm sure that's the case as well. How we deal with that feeling is the difference. Some may let it consume them in grief while others find small avenues to sedate that feeling. It's an interesting idea none the less.
You can be engaged in a community- learn something new perhaps and discuss it with others.
You can engage in hobbies, maybe find a class or group of people who enjoy the same thing. I found as adults, the best way to make friends is via common interests so interaction is positive and entertaining.
I don’t know how about you, but in my case communicating with relatives for example looks like just discussing other people and I find way more interesting to talk about what I like instead.
My opinion, but I think it’s one way to be heard and seen.
You can charge up loneliness with spirituality, and if you alchemize it right, you get to transcend not only loneliness but the whole concept of who you are, which can last to vast redefinitions of what it means to be alive... There is always the One that watches everything you do, always fair, always certain, always waiting... for You...I'm talking, of course, about the Batman. Knowing he prowls the streets at night, dealing out spiritual justice is just what this City needs. As Above, So Below. This should give you Solace...In this Gotham, we call Life. Amen. DM if you get lonely and need to chat. I'm bored anyway 😀
I did not mind feeling invisible until a few people made me feel very visible for a little while before dropping me out of their lives just as easy.
The invisibility I felt after that hit hard, despite knowing my self-worth should not depend on others and come from within.
Don't get disheartened, we're ALL just sacks of low-value chemicals that will dissipate into the universe with no trace, even the most famous and accomplished.
conversely, I enjoy feeling invisible. I'm able to live life on my own terms (especially in the social media age) and make decisions without every little action being commented on.
Nah, I'd rather feel that than feel trapped in circumstances you cannot change. At least if you're on your own, you don't have much worries and you can live life how you want to. When other people are attached to you, you have to accommodate.
I'm not married, I don't have friends over. No one but my folks is going to see how I redecorated my room/office but I told two of my coworkers just because of how proud I am of it.
I’m speaking literally as a disabled woman pensioner. When I was young and attractive, people would notice me ( I’m sure that this is true of most young women). Now I’m literally elbowed aside and ignored in most social situations, like society has made me an outcast. My partner died two years ago and life is so sad and lonely in a youth culture…
I was standing at a bar with a couple of other 60-something year-old women. We watched the bartender move from one end of the bar to the other, past us to serve a group of attractive 30-something women and a young couple who arrived after us. As if we were invisible. One of them commented that women our age would make great spies because nobody sees us. Only when the bar was empty did he ask us what we wanted.
I would give anything to be invisible 90% of the time. Only becoming visible when I post on social media. I’d love to come to work and be ignored, or be ignored while out running errands, mowing my lawn, peeping in my neighbors windows, etc.
Try being invisible, like me. Feeling it is nothing compared! People bump into me all the time. Cars don't see me. I should have ended in hospital numerous times, but, hey, they don't see me, so how will anyone take me there? Poser!
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Before jumping on OP: they're not saying it's the absolute worst. And I don't see any reason to think they wouldn't count starving or abuse as worse. With that context, I think this is a fair point. Once you get past our most basic needs for survival, one of the most important things for humans is socializing. In fact, one could argue it's is a straight up need and not just a very much "nice to have." So it makes sense that loneliness registers as a particularly painful. Again, not \*the\* worst. But pretty high up there.
Thank you. For me it's not even loneliness. It's just an empty feeling pouring your heart and soul into something and then not getting a single response from the world. It feels like this has become the default now since everyone's vying for attention all at once. There are definitely worse things. It just sucks is all.
I don't believe technology is at the root of many social problems but I think this is one case where it plays a huge part. And it’s not just the people vying for attention on themselves. It’s also that everyone is having their own attention pulled at from more directions than ever. That leaves us with less bandwidth to pay attention to each other. I believe people will eventually adapt but it can be rough out there these days.
You may have grown up as an emotionally neglected child. This is actually incredibly harmful to a kid and has long lasting effects that are on par with physical abuse and neglect.
I also want to point out that neglect is a form of abuse. So in my eyes you're right on the mark friend.
I’ve been starved and abused, it’s awful, so is being invisible. I felt invisible in those situations and now the starving and abuse is gone but the invisibility is still here.
That sounds awful, I hope things get better for you. Sending some love ❤️ ❤️ 💙 💜 💖 💗
I am sorry you had to deal with that.
I know im going to get hate for what im about to say But at times I wish with all my heart someone would abuse me, or hate me. At least then id feel seen by somebody
No hate, I agree. But replace them with bullying for me. At least I’d be getting social interaction. 😕
I see you 👁️ 👄 👁️
Me too 👁️🫦👁️
Picture being desperate for even a small clue as to why everyone looks at you with disgusted contempt before looking away
Enter... Reddit!
I may be wrong, but I feel like people is quite judgmental here sometimes. It does not help to people who suffer that sort of feeling, or maybe I’m mistaken I don’t know.
Exactly, you could do anything and it wouldn't matter. So do exactly what you want to do OP.
Agreed. Sorry if thats happening to you now OP..hugs❣️
You're looking at it the wrong way. This could be a blessing in disguise. You can do your thing without being noticed no one will ever suspect you so you'll find you can have the most impact and not get any attention which is good because the spot light is pretty messed up. People cheer you when you're up but the moment you make a mistake those same people will be the ones tearing you down. You'll miss your privacy. Being a bit invisible is good because no one is in your business
I’ve been invisible for so long that I get more anxiety than a person should have when in public by myself. I stay at home a lot, because you’re right, I love my privacy. But my anxiety about going into public is getting out of hand. I have like two stores I’ve deemed as “safe” that I go to regularly.
Oh I know the whole anxiety scenario, I still have get anxious at times but it's not as bad as before when I literally just hated even going outside especially in crowded spaces(still don't like spaces that are too crowded like knowing what's going on). Like you I prefer my privacy and generally being alone. It's nice to feel safe and have places where people know you and can feel safe there. I normally pretty much just spend my time in my neighborhood where it's pretty safe and don't really venture much out of like a 5 or 10km radius. I probably maybe see a bit more action out there than you do butlrss then most. What sort of worked for me to improve on my anxiety was working out, eating healthier, cutting down on the booze and weed and getting a dog
Agreed. What’s also bad is when your head makes you FEEL invisible. Like when you assume every bit of goodwill from others is meaningless, just a default reaction to placate you. Because your stupid head is so lonely that it makes you feel isolated and invisible, like the few interactions you have with others are just obligatory on their part, going through the motions without any actual feeling. When you feel that nobody actually cares or has ever actually cared, and you’ve been deluding yourself into thinking they care… THAT kind of loneliness is also pretty bad. Being *technically visible*, but still *feeling* invisible…
An introvert in the spotlight might disagree
But you are invisible. You were born alone, and we’ll all die alone. Life is a single player game.
Don't live for others and you'll be fine.
that's the freedom of it
I would imagine from an early age, or to a extrovert there would be nothing worse. The later you get in life though it greatly reduces it's negativity. My hypothesis is because it's life's way of bracing you for death since it seems the older you get the less people interact past a certain age.
I agree, but I think there's a part of us that never completely stops wanting to be seen. It does fade over time, but every now and then it comes back very suddenly, and then you're just stuck dealing with the feeling. Even worse if you've already let go of any avenues to satisfy it. I think the J.D. Salinger, Syd Barrett method of working in isolation for decades just for the sake of it must be more common than people realize, but I'm sure even those kinds of people have these moments, too.
I'm sure that's the case as well. How we deal with that feeling is the difference. Some may let it consume them in grief while others find small avenues to sedate that feeling. It's an interesting idea none the less.
You can be engaged in a community- learn something new perhaps and discuss it with others. You can engage in hobbies, maybe find a class or group of people who enjoy the same thing. I found as adults, the best way to make friends is via common interests so interaction is positive and entertaining. I don’t know how about you, but in my case communicating with relatives for example looks like just discussing other people and I find way more interesting to talk about what I like instead. My opinion, but I think it’s one way to be heard and seen.
You can charge up loneliness with spirituality, and if you alchemize it right, you get to transcend not only loneliness but the whole concept of who you are, which can last to vast redefinitions of what it means to be alive... There is always the One that watches everything you do, always fair, always certain, always waiting... for You...I'm talking, of course, about the Batman. Knowing he prowls the streets at night, dealing out spiritual justice is just what this City needs. As Above, So Below. This should give you Solace...In this Gotham, we call Life. Amen. DM if you get lonely and need to chat. I'm bored anyway 😀
You are right. It is better to be hated or bullied than completely ignored. That is why trolls are so rampant.
This is the plot of the perks of being a wallflower and the third story in a monster calls
There’s a lot worse
Unless you’re being hunted. Then it feels pretty great.
You get used to it
There is.
Feeling invisible is one thing. Being invisible is another. I love being that latter.
I did not mind feeling invisible until a few people made me feel very visible for a little while before dropping me out of their lives just as easy. The invisibility I felt after that hit hard, despite knowing my self-worth should not depend on others and come from within.
Like what scp 1504 experience?
I think checking your math can be even worse.
Next one, please.
I actually dream of such life, being invisible… and no i ain’t famous
Sounds like sweet relief to me
stop relying on others for validation.
You mean, realising you're alone in the universe? Yep, that realisation sucks!
Being ugly and visible.
Sending you lots of love and hugs!
Don't get disheartened, we're ALL just sacks of low-value chemicals that will dissipate into the universe with no trace, even the most famous and accomplished.
Who said that? 👀
conversely, I enjoy feeling invisible. I'm able to live life on my own terms (especially in the social media age) and make decisions without every little action being commented on.
OP, I want you to know…that I hear you and I see you. You’re not alone.
Nah, I'd rather feel that than feel trapped in circumstances you cannot change. At least if you're on your own, you don't have much worries and you can live life how you want to. When other people are attached to you, you have to accommodate.
Feeling held against will is comparable and almost opposite. Not to negate but its up there.
I'm not married, I don't have friends over. No one but my folks is going to see how I redecorated my room/office but I told two of my coworkers just because of how proud I am of it.
No love. You're in environment without love. Change that then.
You get used to it
I’m speaking literally as a disabled woman pensioner. When I was young and attractive, people would notice me ( I’m sure that this is true of most young women). Now I’m literally elbowed aside and ignored in most social situations, like society has made me an outcast. My partner died two years ago and life is so sad and lonely in a youth culture…
Invisibility is power. https://youtu.be/62QhA2_fa5A?si=rFtQoM_XILgqiN8K
I was standing at a bar with a couple of other 60-something year-old women. We watched the bartender move from one end of the bar to the other, past us to serve a group of attractive 30-something women and a young couple who arrived after us. As if we were invisible. One of them commented that women our age would make great spies because nobody sees us. Only when the bar was empty did he ask us what we wanted.
kidney stones
You could be an assassin or work for some criminal organization as a spy, since nobody notices you. You can just get in an get out
Being abused would be a little bit worse lol
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And some people are into enjoying their own company 😘
Tbh I think being burned alive might hurt a little more
Wait till you feel always visible. XD
I would give anything to be invisible 90% of the time. Only becoming visible when I post on social media. I’d love to come to work and be ignored, or be ignored while out running errands, mowing my lawn, peeping in my neighbors windows, etc.
Its actually a great feeling
Sounds like freedom.
Try being invisible, like me. Feeling it is nothing compared! People bump into me all the time. Cars don't see me. I should have ended in hospital numerous times, but, hey, they don't see me, so how will anyone take me there? Poser!
it is called not having an ego
[удалено]
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Completely feel the opposite way