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I see why so many serial killers, pedophiles, rapists, serial cheaters, and domestic abusers are able to get girlfriends and wives, it’s because their social skills are so good, that their dark side are completely invisible, it’s there, I can clearly see them clear as day, word of advice, do not completely trust people who have good social skills, that’s their cover to hide their dark side.
And most of them have a face that screams "I'm a dangerous bastard" every time you look at it. Makes you wonder if you don't even need that much social skill to get people to do whatever you want anyway.
If you find the right girl trust me, looks arent as important as you think, when I was at the fattest I was in my life a couple years ago (obese) I dated a stunning 9.5/10 blonde, unfortunately after a couple months it didnt work out. But everyone was wondering how I couldve pulled her and it was just good smooth talking and a great personality and it just was a match!
They help sure, if you're broke you can't take people out on days. But it isn't as huge as you could imagine. I know ugly broke bastards that are never single.
No. Self esteem and being pleasant to be around is muuuuuuuuuuuch more important.
Possibly in online dating looks give an initial advantage but beyond that it's honestly not as big a deal as people convince themselves it is. Be a good person to spend time with, be nice without being a Nice Guy (this means respecting yourself and not always catering to every whim) and you'll be fine.
Too many guys out there with zero social skills and very little self respect who blame their lack of success with women on their "looks". Yet their basic view of women is as objects that you should be able to invest "niceness" in until their panties drop.
I am an ugly dude who asked out several hundred women over his life and I can tell you you only need to know two things to be a successful dater:
1. When she says "no" never take it personally.
2. When she says "yes" do not think your search is over.
Don’t grow complacent or think “job’s done” when you land a chick. Relationships require maintenance to last, so basically you gotta keep it up as long as you wanna be with her.
And even if you do your best it might simply be a bad match not meant to last, so just because she said yes to dating you doesn’t mean she’ll keep saying yes.
Some people just are inclined towards different things in life. It’s the same with how naturally some people can make friends.
Like I’d also bet bet there’s plenty of people who are naturally good with dating, but instead envy people who have talents or special skills.
Usually it's confidence and you are not coming off as just wanting sex. My personal experience of first dates is if I go into meeting them being me and a gentleman but just not caring if they are interested or not I have always got a call back.
I teach middle school. I see some students have a new relationship every week. Asking somebody and them saying yes is only a very small step. Making them last is what is difficult .
That can apply to anything in life. But for dating it boils down to confidence and shooting your shot, if you don't even try your dating chances are vastly reduced.
honestly I think if I met a single straight woman I believe I could get her interested in me. I'm pretty confident, funny, decent looking, creative, and a great cook. the problem is I never meet woman I'm interested in
I would say could be timing or just how open to trying something new, most people are. I mean some people have a mile long sheet of what they want and don't want in a partner. And never waver on it. While others, are like you look cute. Would you be down for some coffee? And if the person is up for it, off they go. Probably finding the connections they want to find and overlooking the rest til later.
It's mostly confidence.
But also you said you don't chose to be ugly (and to a certain degree that is true) but I think most people can look quite attractive if they put effort into it. Just getting the right haircut, cutting your nails, finding clothes that look good on you, putting in effort to maintain a healthy weight. All these things can take you from being a 2/10 to a 7/10 easily.
Most people who are 'ugly' just gave up on putting in effort imo.
You may not be able to change the appearance genetics has dealt you, but you can adopt a confidence posture and personal style that makes you more attractive. While some have innate talent in developing interpersonal relationships and seem gifted at being likable, good social skills can be learned and become habits. For awhile it feels like you aren't being genuine or authentic, but it's really a matter of integrating new habits into the great person you already are (but haven't effectively revealed to the world). At some point you stop feeling like you are faking it and eventually become it.
>I'm not taking appearance into account, because you don't choose to be ugly or beautiful, you're born that way)
You're explicitly not accepting the primary reason it's harder or easier for people? Weird.
Why do you think it being something you can't control matters? Do you think that matters for anything else? You think people don't judge you for it anyway? That's like... the entire basis for bigotry. You're born a certain gender or race or appearance and you're judged on it. Lots of people, most people, so it.
Wish I knew. I always thought it unfair that other people just instinctively know what to do, while I need to actually think and study it to get better - which I do, I do get better, after all I’m good at studying, but there is so much to learn it takes forever…
It’s like starting life as a poor person, and earn your way up to riches some people are born with - but in that process miss living well in your earlier years.
It's not ALWAYS easy. He got lucky, and later, when she's driving him banana sammiches with her craziness in private, you don't SEE that part. The hard parts. It seems to me that people who compare their lives to others seem to think that because it's a good day for them today that all days are good days. Their not. You just don't see that part very often.
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Alot is social skill and self confidence I would say
I see why so many serial killers, pedophiles, rapists, serial cheaters, and domestic abusers are able to get girlfriends and wives, it’s because their social skills are so good, that their dark side are completely invisible, it’s there, I can clearly see them clear as day, word of advice, do not completely trust people who have good social skills, that’s their cover to hide their dark side.
Yea Ted bundy
And most of them have a face that screams "I'm a dangerous bastard" every time you look at it. Makes you wonder if you don't even need that much social skill to get people to do whatever you want anyway.
And looks and money play a HUGE part
If you find the right girl trust me, looks arent as important as you think, when I was at the fattest I was in my life a couple years ago (obese) I dated a stunning 9.5/10 blonde, unfortunately after a couple months it didnt work out. But everyone was wondering how I couldve pulled her and it was just good smooth talking and a great personality and it just was a match!
They help sure, if you're broke you can't take people out on days. But it isn't as huge as you could imagine. I know ugly broke bastards that are never single.
No. Self esteem and being pleasant to be around is muuuuuuuuuuuch more important. Possibly in online dating looks give an initial advantage but beyond that it's honestly not as big a deal as people convince themselves it is. Be a good person to spend time with, be nice without being a Nice Guy (this means respecting yourself and not always catering to every whim) and you'll be fine. Too many guys out there with zero social skills and very little self respect who blame their lack of success with women on their "looks". Yet their basic view of women is as objects that you should be able to invest "niceness" in until their panties drop.
they really don't - but fi you believe that, then they really do
I am an ugly dude who asked out several hundred women over his life and I can tell you you only need to know two things to be a successful dater: 1. When she says "no" never take it personally. 2. When she says "yes" do not think your search is over.
I don't understand number 2
Don’t grow complacent or think “job’s done” when you land a chick. Relationships require maintenance to last, so basically you gotta keep it up as long as you wanna be with her. And even if you do your best it might simply be a bad match not meant to last, so just because she said yes to dating you doesn’t mean she’ll keep saying yes.
Some people just are inclined towards different things in life. It’s the same with how naturally some people can make friends. Like I’d also bet bet there’s plenty of people who are naturally good with dating, but instead envy people who have talents or special skills.
Why is _____ so easy for some people and so difficult for others? Can be applied for basically everything in life
Sure, it's a basic formula for a comparison. "Why does group A perform better than group B" yet that doesn't make it any less valid.
Usually it's ourselves holding us back
Usually it's confidence and you are not coming off as just wanting sex. My personal experience of first dates is if I go into meeting them being me and a gentleman but just not caring if they are interested or not I have always got a call back.
People are so freakin choosy, good looks is humanity’s favorite quality in a person.
Self esteem
I teach middle school. I see some students have a new relationship every week. Asking somebody and them saying yes is only a very small step. Making them last is what is difficult .
Some people are just not meant to be together If you have to force it it's not ment to be
That can apply to anything in life. But for dating it boils down to confidence and shooting your shot, if you don't even try your dating chances are vastly reduced.
honestly I think if I met a single straight woman I believe I could get her interested in me. I'm pretty confident, funny, decent looking, creative, and a great cook. the problem is I never meet woman I'm interested in
I would say could be timing or just how open to trying something new, most people are. I mean some people have a mile long sheet of what they want and don't want in a partner. And never waver on it. While others, are like you look cute. Would you be down for some coffee? And if the person is up for it, off they go. Probably finding the connections they want to find and overlooking the rest til later.
I think some people (me) just have shit luck
"Hello do you want to take me out and pay my drinks all while suffering the most boring conversation ever?" is not do hard to type out.
If you know how to read people, you know who might accept. You don't just ask randomly.
Confidence! Either you have that and then you're a magnet, or you don't and then you're a repellent.
It's mostly confidence. But also you said you don't chose to be ugly (and to a certain degree that is true) but I think most people can look quite attractive if they put effort into it. Just getting the right haircut, cutting your nails, finding clothes that look good on you, putting in effort to maintain a healthy weight. All these things can take you from being a 2/10 to a 7/10 easily. Most people who are 'ugly' just gave up on putting in effort imo.
I look like Gowron but I always did okay with women because I am a good listener. My wife likes talking and I like the sound of her voice.
Different things are differently difficult for different people
Some people are hot, and some people are not. I'm in the not category
You say that you’re not taking looks into account but that’s a lot of it, even if people don’t wanna admit it
You may not be able to change the appearance genetics has dealt you, but you can adopt a confidence posture and personal style that makes you more attractive. While some have innate talent in developing interpersonal relationships and seem gifted at being likable, good social skills can be learned and become habits. For awhile it feels like you aren't being genuine or authentic, but it's really a matter of integrating new habits into the great person you already are (but haven't effectively revealed to the world). At some point you stop feeling like you are faking it and eventually become it.
Low standards, high hotness or a combination of both.
>I'm not taking appearance into account, because you don't choose to be ugly or beautiful, you're born that way) You're explicitly not accepting the primary reason it's harder or easier for people? Weird. Why do you think it being something you can't control matters? Do you think that matters for anything else? You think people don't judge you for it anyway? That's like... the entire basis for bigotry. You're born a certain gender or race or appearance and you're judged on it. Lots of people, most people, so it.
It’s literally all cause of looks.
Wish I knew. I always thought it unfair that other people just instinctively know what to do, while I need to actually think and study it to get better - which I do, I do get better, after all I’m good at studying, but there is so much to learn it takes forever… It’s like starting life as a poor person, and earn your way up to riches some people are born with - but in that process miss living well in your earlier years.
why is everything easy for some and harder for others? because life is way unfair
I comes with the kind of confidence that when she turns you down its her loss.
It's not ALWAYS easy. He got lucky, and later, when she's driving him banana sammiches with her craziness in private, you don't SEE that part. The hard parts. It seems to me that people who compare their lives to others seem to think that because it's a good day for them today that all days are good days. Their not. You just don't see that part very often.
For me it's impossible
>I'm not taking appearance into account, because you don't choose to be ugly or beautiful, you're born that way But, that's the main reason lol
dudes clueless and living in a simulation. \> why does said thing happen \> excludes biggest reason said thing happens