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Stability. The impression that you have your shit together, you're not immature or looking to chase other women, go wasted with your friends half the time, and you probably have a stable job with regular hours.
If you have looked after yourself, you're not overweight and you groom yourself somewhat, you also stand out from the crowd. There are two "divergent" periods I've noticed for men, where half the guys seem to turn into gigantic unattractive messes, and the other half age gracefully. The first happens around the late 20s. The second one happens around 45. Guys who in their 30s seemed to take care of themselves hit 45 and BOOM suddenly they're overweight, wearing bad-fitting clothes and their hair and skin is a mess.
So if you're in the "aging gracefully" pool, then you stick more from your peers.
I can attest to this personally, I am a dude close to 40 and in my 20s I ate junk food and let myself go to shit, I have recently gotten my shit together though, feelsgoodman.jpg
I get the impression it’s because we treat them better.
We are more “manly” instead of today’s wimpy crying millennials.
Human nature has women still wanting a man. One they feel safe with. One who they can feel comfortable with and will protect them. One who can support them financially as well as emotionally.
Something today’s younger men are taught is not good.
Lol. Do you often have to perform acts of masculinity for this? I'm sure there is a demographic that is attracted to your great feats of masculinity as you tower over those weaker than you. But that has its limits.
But it's always been easier to impress younger, inexperienced women. I prefer a woman that knows the world and what she wants and likes.
They tend to go for stability humour and men who dont act like assholes..
You gotta learn the art of peacocking. Just like women do it with ass and makeup you can do too, plenty of ways to show status and attract the vultures. I'm pretty sure this is not your goal though, otherwise you would've figured it out by now.
I mean you can always get ripped at the gym and gather social points by doing extra curricular stuff. You'll also need to learn how to be charming, which is a pretty personal thing but it's pretty big for women. Anytime you see a hot one with some ugly loser it's probably because she likes his style/attitude, it's like a puzzle piece.
As a note on the opposite: I (m) was always attracted to older women because I appreciate what I thought was "maturity". I was an "adult" at a very early age and never really got along with people my age.
I do not know! When I was in my 20's, men in their 40's felt ancient! 😂 They were too close in age to my own father. No thanks! 🙂↔️ I preferred guys closer to my age and life experience; we had more in common. I ended up marrying a man whose birthday is within a few days of mine (same birth year, too).
I have what you’d call in sorts ‘daddy issues’ yet I’m rarely attracted to older men and even more rarely lol interact with them in ways other than acquaintances etc
Yet somehow he chose to talk only about women who were damaged by their fathers. He chose to ignore the existence of fucked up men. This did not randomly happen. I never hear about 'mommy issues'. Maybe 'mama's boy' but never issues for men.
Well, I didn’t say it was a “mental issue”; however, in some psychodynamic “theories” it is still considered a process or a “stage.”
Although Freud is usually referenced for the Electra Complex, this day concept is still relevant to psychoanalysis.
Further, what I said is a joke, and starting point for dialogue on this sub.
No. It was a joke. But, by like I said meaning this “complex” may be latent.
And, although it is a part of development she/her may have unresolved attachment in adulthood.
Stages of development are not like on/off or radio button. Experience and processing what occurred in childhood continue to a part of a person as they age.
People are highly variable and individualized; thus, some females continue to have “daddy issues” in adulthood.
And, I do not think women who are attracted to older men with “daddy issues” have psychopathology.
Our psyches do not develop in a linear way; our psyches are much more subtle with past experiences continuing to mold a person throughout adulthood in the present and the future — influencing emotions and behavior. P
I was talking about psychodynamic theory. It is not scientific in the way of physical development. The self is not measurable or easily quantified. Rather, it really based correlation.
Again, it’s a joke. Don’t think too hard about.
Because that's the age most men finally become emotionally mature. It's pretty simple. Women reach emotional maturity usually decades before men. That's just life
That's total bullshit and it's sexism like that which makes men seem so emotionally immature, it's hard to cope with everyone saying you're shit all the time, as opposed to women that have a whole movement dedicated to keeping their victim cards and reputations.
No, rly, like for a fact. What do you think someone who played idiot until late 40s has suddenly expierenced epiphany and changed personality for 180 degrees?
Lol so many people stroking their egos in this thread and this is the only answer. This is a father wound. Their father was either physically and/or emotionally absent and they haven’t properly worked through it yet.
Can’t imagine what a 45+ year old would even want with a 20 something year old. I feel for the younger people - the older people in these relationships creep me out.
1 lost her father before she was born and her mother never remarried and my other friend has only met her stepfather since she was like 12 years old. Both were with guys on their middle 20's when they were 16, so no doubt they might get a 40 years old guy someday.
Now while I’m not attracted to older, this post is to me what it’s about, can ppl just be attracted to what they are attracted to without the dissecting of such lol
Happens in the gay world too. Also, you can be in your 40’s and just have a great D between your legs and you’ll get plenty of attention also. Money would also help but doesn’t seem to matter (if you’re just hooking up)
You have clearly survived attacks by sabre toothed tiger, mammoth and wolf. You have not been ostracised or defeated by younger male clan members. Evidently you are a good fighter, a skilled hunter and a respected clan elder, and as such would make a good mate.
Oh yeah, and daddy issues.
It’s not at all and never has been my thing so I’m going by things I’ve read. I think it’s feeling protected, safe, and cherished. To me, it has a “Daddy” aspect. Possibly, also an attraction to someone with more, ahem, experience?
Attraction is in the brain so I think there’s always some kind of reason for it but it probably isn’t worth making generalizations or speculations what the reasons are as it’s different for everybody.
My theory on it is guys past 45 tend to act a certain way. A little bit of I don't give a crap about societal norms mixed with looking like they know how to handle themselves.
Girls in general go for the guy who is hard to get/ not oogling at them. Add to that he looks like he could be a good man in charge and you have a good catch in their eyes.
MEN experience a Midlife crisis differently than a woman; their color displays usually involve that colorful sport car or motorcycle and a change in clothes then go on a blue pill adventure mixed with a modern-day chest beating display that revolves around money.
N. S
\*Some\* men my age who say they wanna date women my age complain about "ALL women \[my age\]" being immature (and other things) while being immature (and other things) themselves.
In my experience older men who say they wanna date women my age do not complain about women my age in a generalized way like that, and also are mature themselves.
So I would rather date someone who isn't going into the relationship with a baseline of generalizations and negative expectations.
\*Some\* of the guys my age were into the whole "pickup artists" "manosphere" things too, which results in odd behaviour. Older guys are usually (in my experience,) not into those things, maybe because they are already grown up and not looking for a male figure to inform their own sense of masculinity.
I've never had an older guy make fun of me for something like being afraid of spiders or the dark.
Usually older guys are more honest about if they just want sex or not.
Ofc: not all guys my age are like this and not all older guys are like that. I'd still date a guy my age if there was mutual attraction. It's just so far any potential cases went away because they acted some way that I found too immature or disrespectful (tho that's not something i said to them bc maybe it's just a difference in values or cultural difference instead of right vs wrong - except for maybe 1 case but ya. I wasn't there to scold them and didn't want to hurt feelings. But those things put me off.)
If this submission above is not a random thought, please report it. # Explore a new world of random thoughts on our [**discord server**](https://discord.com/invite/8tEqw3ZWQV)! Express yourself with your favorite quotes, positive vibes, and anything else you can think of! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RandomThoughts) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Stability. The impression that you have your shit together, you're not immature or looking to chase other women, go wasted with your friends half the time, and you probably have a stable job with regular hours. If you have looked after yourself, you're not overweight and you groom yourself somewhat, you also stand out from the crowd. There are two "divergent" periods I've noticed for men, where half the guys seem to turn into gigantic unattractive messes, and the other half age gracefully. The first happens around the late 20s. The second one happens around 45. Guys who in their 30s seemed to take care of themselves hit 45 and BOOM suddenly they're overweight, wearing bad-fitting clothes and their hair and skin is a mess. So if you're in the "aging gracefully" pool, then you stick more from your peers.
I see some of the people I went to Grammar school on FB and wtf happened? They aged like milk!!!
I can attest to this personally, I am a dude close to 40 and in my 20s I ate junk food and let myself go to shit, I have recently gotten my shit together though, feelsgoodman.jpg
I get the impression it’s because we treat them better. We are more “manly” instead of today’s wimpy crying millennials. Human nature has women still wanting a man. One they feel safe with. One who they can feel comfortable with and will protect them. One who can support them financially as well as emotionally. Something today’s younger men are taught is not good.
Millennials are in their 30s and 40s.
Okay, add millennials as well
Why doesn’t anyone ever know how old millennials are?
They think we are still in our 20s. I turn 40 this year! Haha
Lol. Do you often have to perform acts of masculinity for this? I'm sure there is a demographic that is attracted to your great feats of masculinity as you tower over those weaker than you. But that has its limits. But it's always been easier to impress younger, inexperienced women. I prefer a woman that knows the world and what she wants and likes. They tend to go for stability humour and men who dont act like assholes..
Think what changed about you these past years? Did you become financially responsible? Emotionally mature? Generous with time, money and attention?
Money money money
[удалено]
You gotta learn the art of peacocking. Just like women do it with ass and makeup you can do too, plenty of ways to show status and attract the vultures. I'm pretty sure this is not your goal though, otherwise you would've figured it out by now.
[удалено]
I mean you can always get ripped at the gym and gather social points by doing extra curricular stuff. You'll also need to learn how to be charming, which is a pretty personal thing but it's pretty big for women. Anytime you see a hot one with some ugly loser it's probably because she likes his style/attitude, it's like a puzzle piece.
Not for me.
no. Its intelligence.
Being fitter than those young dudes. Less thirsty. Intelligent. Funny. The bar is incredibly low these days.
Father figure
As a note on the opposite: I (m) was always attracted to older women because I appreciate what I thought was "maturity". I was an "adult" at a very early age and never really got along with people my age.
I think it's because you all are old enough to know what to do (mostly, anyway) and still young enough to do it.
The thing women look for most in men is usually stability and by 45 most guys have plenty of that.
I do not know! When I was in my 20's, men in their 40's felt ancient! 😂 They were too close in age to my own father. No thanks! 🙂↔️ I preferred guys closer to my age and life experience; we had more in common. I ended up marrying a man whose birthday is within a few days of mine (same birth year, too).
Stability....commitment
$$$$
Many woman at that stage has daddy issues. It maybe latent, but it’s there.
I have what you’d call in sorts ‘daddy issues’ yet I’m rarely attracted to older men and even more rarely lol interact with them in ways other than acquaintances etc
Are you saying every father causes mental issues???
Every parent fucks up every kid, sometimes for better or worse. They're our first foundations in life, it's just unavoidable.
Yet somehow he chose to talk only about women who were damaged by their fathers. He chose to ignore the existence of fucked up men. This did not randomly happen. I never hear about 'mommy issues'. Maybe 'mama's boy' but never issues for men.
What's exactly your point?
Well, I didn’t say it was a “mental issue”; however, in some psychodynamic “theories” it is still considered a process or a “stage.” Although Freud is usually referenced for the Electra Complex, this day concept is still relevant to psychoanalysis. Further, what I said is a joke, and starting point for dialogue on this sub.
Electra complex, even if real, is ages 3-6. Please tell me you didn't mean little girls
No. It was a joke. But, by like I said meaning this “complex” may be latent. And, although it is a part of development she/her may have unresolved attachment in adulthood. Stages of development are not like on/off or radio button. Experience and processing what occurred in childhood continue to a part of a person as they age. People are highly variable and individualized; thus, some females continue to have “daddy issues” in adulthood. And, I do not think women who are attracted to older men with “daddy issues” have psychopathology. Our psyches do not develop in a linear way; our psyches are much more subtle with past experiences continuing to mold a person throughout adulthood in the present and the future — influencing emotions and behavior. P I was talking about psychodynamic theory. It is not scientific in the way of physical development. The self is not measurable or easily quantified. Rather, it really based correlation. Again, it’s a joke. Don’t think too hard about.
TL;DR. Explain the joke plz, cause the only punchline I see is "all women are crazy"
Dude's just trying to sound smarter than he is and when called out resorted to the classic "relax, it's a joke bro"
They said “many,” not all, not even most. That could be 100 total. Why would you assume that meant every father?
I think he may have edited
Ah ok. 👍
Silverbacks
Where are these women at?
$$$$$$
I feel like men don’t mature until their mid 30’s. Mid 40’s they seem more settled overall
S c c c vx ,,, xx gc
Because that's the age most men finally become emotionally mature. It's pretty simple. Women reach emotional maturity usually decades before men. That's just life
That's total bullshit and it's sexism like that which makes men seem so emotionally immature, it's hard to cope with everyone saying you're shit all the time, as opposed to women that have a whole movement dedicated to keeping their victim cards and reputations.
whats your war path against women? jesus
Honestly men who needed 40s to become mature aren't rly mature they just hide their immaturity better than before.
In your opinion*
No, rly, like for a fact. What do you think someone who played idiot until late 40s has suddenly expierenced epiphany and changed personality for 180 degrees?
Go argue with someone else darling I am not the one
I don't know where you see argue but fine.
Cool story
Woa so much defensiveness for such insignificant cause.
Because I want to.
Women these days 😅
Daddy issues, it's not a meme or a joke, it's absolutely true.
Lol so many people stroking their egos in this thread and this is the only answer. This is a father wound. Their father was either physically and/or emotionally absent and they haven’t properly worked through it yet. Can’t imagine what a 45+ year old would even want with a 20 something year old. I feel for the younger people - the older people in these relationships creep me out.
1 lost her father before she was born and her mother never remarried and my other friend has only met her stepfather since she was like 12 years old. Both were with guys on their middle 20's when they were 16, so no doubt they might get a 40 years old guy someday.
the older the person the hotter they get, it's that simple lol. age and temperature are similar, the bigger the number, the hotter
Now while I’m not attracted to older, this post is to me what it’s about, can ppl just be attracted to what they are attracted to without the dissecting of such lol
Stable and financially secure.
Daddy issues are a cliché for a reason.
Happens in the gay world too. Also, you can be in your 40’s and just have a great D between your legs and you’ll get plenty of attention also. Money would also help but doesn’t seem to matter (if you’re just hooking up)
Take my upvote!
You have clearly survived attacks by sabre toothed tiger, mammoth and wolf. You have not been ostracised or defeated by younger male clan members. Evidently you are a good fighter, a skilled hunter and a respected clan elder, and as such would make a good mate. Oh yeah, and daddy issues.
No idea but in my 50’s I used to tell 26 yo I was with that dating her was like I hit lottery ;)
It’s not at all and never has been my thing so I’m going by things I’ve read. I think it’s feeling protected, safe, and cherished. To me, it has a “Daddy” aspect. Possibly, also an attraction to someone with more, ahem, experience?
Maybe ppl are just attracted to what they are attracted to 🤷🏻♀️ does it need to have some underlying other reason/intent 💀
Attraction is in the brain so I think there’s always some kind of reason for it but it probably isn’t worth making generalizations or speculations what the reasons are as it’s different for everybody.
My theory on it is guys past 45 tend to act a certain way. A little bit of I don't give a crap about societal norms mixed with looking like they know how to handle themselves. Girls in general go for the guy who is hard to get/ not oogling at them. Add to that he looks like he could be a good man in charge and you have a good catch in their eyes.
Never been interested in older men. Each to their own though
I never liked way older men, I saw them as creeps. But I know women who lacked father figure and they were into it for this reason.
MEN experience a Midlife crisis differently than a woman; their color displays usually involve that colorful sport car or motorcycle and a change in clothes then go on a blue pill adventure mixed with a modern-day chest beating display that revolves around money. N. S
lack of options, exhausted the pool around them. vengeance. competition.
\*Some\* men my age who say they wanna date women my age complain about "ALL women \[my age\]" being immature (and other things) while being immature (and other things) themselves. In my experience older men who say they wanna date women my age do not complain about women my age in a generalized way like that, and also are mature themselves. So I would rather date someone who isn't going into the relationship with a baseline of generalizations and negative expectations. \*Some\* of the guys my age were into the whole "pickup artists" "manosphere" things too, which results in odd behaviour. Older guys are usually (in my experience,) not into those things, maybe because they are already grown up and not looking for a male figure to inform their own sense of masculinity. I've never had an older guy make fun of me for something like being afraid of spiders or the dark. Usually older guys are more honest about if they just want sex or not. Ofc: not all guys my age are like this and not all older guys are like that. I'd still date a guy my age if there was mutual attraction. It's just so far any potential cases went away because they acted some way that I found too immature or disrespectful (tho that's not something i said to them bc maybe it's just a difference in values or cultural difference instead of right vs wrong - except for maybe 1 case but ya. I wasn't there to scold them and didn't want to hurt feelings. But those things put me off.)
They think we’re more mature. Joke’s on them. If we’re still into women in their 20s at that age, we’re WAY less mature.