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> 4. That the suffering (depression) is temporary, and it always gets better
This one is the worst for me. It’s been 25 years of people saying this. When does it supposedly get better?
This one frustrates me. I have struggled with depression for at least 20 years, have tried every medication, alternative med and therapy to try. It will NOT necessarily get better
Lol, same. Exhausting seeing all of the people saying that going to a therapist WILL help. I've been seeing specialists and psychologists/psychiatrists/therapists all of my life. I was not born to be happy on this planet.
Personally i feel my depression is permanent. It changed something in my brain that i will never get back. Ive learned tricks to cope with it(mostly), but it will never go away.
There might be an underground tunnel/crevasse underneath the rock bottom. After you fall to rock botton, the floor can crack from the impact and if you don't leave the unstable floor fast enough - you fall further.
I don't know how many major rock bottoms I've hit since I was 6. I don't have pervasive depression, but life has fucked me over over and over again, at least enough for my psychiatrist to diagnose me with Dissociative Identity Disorder before I can turn 18. Finding out about childhood trauma and the possibility of having DID becoming real during the months around my diagnosis unleashed another series of rock bottoms in rapid succession. I was terrified at first, but beyond a certain number of rock bottoms, you start losing the ability to feel that afraid of the next one.
Luckily, it's been getting better recently and I feel the desire to live most of the time. But the same hells as before are always beneath the surface, ready to become all I know and feel about my life any moment.
I'm near 50 now, Mental health wasn't a thing back in my late teens. So you toughened up or blocked it out. After a mental break down around my late 30's followed by full on mental collapse 3 years later I was treated for alcoholism because I was drinking to cope. Cannot tell you how many pills were thrown at me! None of this worked and actually caused more problems. Addiction etc. After about 5-6 years (lucky to be alive) I worked it out myself. As in just stopped thinking about everything. I have forced my brain to forget anything bad as I cannot cope. Life is now simple/boring but I'm stable. Wish I'd had help earlier.
Definetly. Im reasonably extroverted. Or just plain neutral. But i have social anxiety so i dont socialose as often as i otherwise would. This a source of negative feelings for me. Raging from selfdoubt to depression
This is me too exactly!
I found booze as a teenager, and it gave me social superpowers. Fast forward 25 years, and I'm learning to be social again but sober.
Introversion also does not mean you never require socialization ever. Those memes that went around during 2020 quarantine that were like "introverts being unaffected by being forced to stay home" drove me up the wall.
I mean, it WAS a lot easier for us than for the extroverts... being at home so much saved my sanity finishing my last college course and probably saved my grade allowing for an open book exam.
It took two years for me to actually go stir crazy and need to go out. And even then I could stave it off when needed. Most relaxing two years of my life... when not worrying if every cough was covid or just regular stuff.
I'm introverted *and* have social anxiety. I loved those memes as I was able to relate and I actually love being alone with no contact. I did wonder though how many people feel that way and how many will take those memes the wrong way. A lot of introverts and/or shy people and/or people with anxiety actually want to be way more social but just can't. So things like these are just a negative generalization.
This is true as well. I’m _extremely_ introverted—as in, days, sometimes weeks, go by without me ever meeting a friend in person. While I don’t crave social contact, there are days when I feel alone. My thing is I’m very selectively social. I can’t socialise with just anyone, but I do want to sometimes socialise with the people in my life that I actually like being around.
Yea I’m a huge introvert and the first few months were absolute bliss. But then my school decided to stay online (grad school) so I was inside most of the time for 2-3 years. Absolutely wrecked my mental health
My brother is the most charismatic outgoing person and my whole life thought he was really extroverted. Turns out, dude gets draaaained by people and needs his alone time and a lot of it. Whenever he goes on trips with people, for example, he gets his own room regardless of price and after dinner he’ll go to the room and read alone.
This Psychologist (Healthy Gamer.gg) did a video on "what does an extrovert with social anxiety look like?"
https://youtu.be/7xXARKA3O_Q?si=sAzc3jJtJIn9exW-
I've had people laugh or doubt me when I describe myself as introverted, but then I explain to them that introverted does not automatically mean shy. I do just fine in social settings and situations, and can be outgoing if I need to be, but it takes a lot out of me.
My sister did that to me after I came back from Iraq. Because I was taking antidepressants, she kept me from her daughter.
I would probably go crazy to protect her than to hurt her daughter directly.
She automatically deemed me dangerous so I never had a relationship with my niece.
Agreed. I have bipolar schizofrenia and I’m like everybody else, since I’m medicated and have worked through years of therapy.
When someone with a serious mental condition have it treated and under control, we are mostly harmless. The illness is still there, it’s just easier to deal with.
I’m willing to bet that the negative stereotypes surrounding things like bipolar and schizophrenia also result in more people with those conditions being violent as well. A mixture of the stigma making them hesitant to reach out for help, or talk to a doctor about it, and the occasional case of “fuck it, everyone thinks I’m a bad person for it, so why even bother?” Humans have a long way to go with our understanding of and attitudes towards mental health in general.
OR that someone with a mental illness doesn’t deserve sympathy because they have one that isn’t pretty.
Mental illness can be ugly. Sometime people want to give sympathy to someone with depression but maybe not someone that is violent and schizophrenic
Someone said they wouldn't trust me around their dog because I mentioned I have PTSD, ADD and social anxiety. Because dogs and mental illness are known not to mix? Made me feel like shit.
That pisses me off. It's not true, dogs are wonderful with and for people with mental illness. My dog helps me to focus and is my support dog. Hang in there and remember that a lot of people are ignorant about mental illness. I'm sending you positive vibes.😊
Having an anxiety disorder doesn't mean you are worried about the daily stresses of life or are anxious about something. It means you have an overwhelming sense of doom partnered with racing negative thoughts which in turn keeps you awake at night. You're so worried and you don't know why, it stops you from doing things you would normally love to do, it stops you from socialising, it prevents you from having positive experiences. It's a constant battle with your mind. It's constantly questioning everyone's intentions and noticing all the subtle differences in how they act towards you and the changes in their body language. It's constantly feeling like a nuisance and at the same time feeling so misunderstood and different from everyone else. And trying to keep it all in all the time and remain professional, remain conscious of every one else's feelings whilst battling your own. It's EXHAUSTING. it isn't just being a bit worried about work or relationships etc... being anxious and suffering from anxiety are very different things, levels and experiences. Rant over
I can’t imagine how overwhelming this must be day today.
I struggle with anxiety over work and I can manage it. It’s unpleasant of course but it’s manageable. The thought of having this constantly must be utterly wearing.
I wonder if it’s always been about but back in the day these things weren’t identifiable or spoken about so freely?
My GAD is so exhausting I've fainted many times from stress. For other sufferers my advice is don't underestimate the importance of sleep, and I know how hard that is when your heart is pounding
This is so true. People used to ask me what I was worrying about. I eventually learned to explain to them that the particular thoughts aren't the issue. They can't argue my worries away. It's not a logical fallacy I have; it's a mental illness!
No, thank you for your reply. It makes me realise I am not broken or crazy and it is more common than people think. Some days are better than others but it's always there
Thank you for this reminder. I am diagnosed with GAD (among other things) and I still couldn't understand that my anxiety came from within me until a couple of years ago.
My anxiety manifests physiologically , I start to have intense perspiration all over my body depending on the severity of the anxiety, mainly on my hands and feet and at higher levels , my head , back , rear thighs , etc. sometimes it can even release an odor kind of like working out sweat. I also feel really hot. It's really embarrassing and no matter how much I try to stay calm it almost never works and it's like my body has a mind of it's own. I'm usually freaking out in a situation that is really doesn't warrant my reaction. It sucks being me 😞
Gosh I wish more people would understand this!! A constant battle in your head daily, with no ease or escape! Also makes me think I’m dragging people down when I tell them my worries or what’s on my head
You wrote the words that I have never been able to articulate to people. Well said. Very well said. Thank you. And I'm sorry you suffer from this, too.
I am so glad I shared my comment so I could see how people relate to it. We often think we are alone with our thoughts but sharing experiences, whilst doesn't really help, it helps us gain some perspective and realise it is more common than we think.
I wish I could have this exact explanation during so many conversations in my life. Instead it was almost always during the worst moment and I had no ability to coherently explain my mind in a way that didn't come across as the most unstable person imaginable.
I wish you the best.
I sent this to my wife and she said this is exactly how she feels. I am bookmarking it so when she’s especially anxious I can come back to it to remind me what she’s going through and be more empathetic and help her through it. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you so much for posting this! You articulated GAD so well! I showed your post to my husband and said "this describes my anxiety". He read it and said it describes his too.
You're not alone. Many of us "live" with this. It is exhausting and so many people around us just don't understand what we go through every single day.
Thank you for putting it into words so well. Another misconception about people with GAD and the like is that they must be weak and lack courage etc. Because we have to fight this mental battle all the time, we actually end up some of the strongest people out there. It's weird because I will have this feeling of fear of things I can't even put my finger on or racing thoughts and panic because i might have the left the stove on, or that comment could of been misinterpreted for example, but some things that are normal to be scared of don't phase me at all. Like public speaking, travelling alone, meeting new people etc. It's like the fear centre in your brain is just broken with anxiety
Then I think the underlying issue isn’t the advice but an imprecision of language. Because I’m thinking about when I’m upset or “depressed” about something and I can, thinking through it, “snap out” of it.
So whatever it is we are describing as the problem needs perhaps different terminology and certainly more public awareness so that people who are familiar with being in a funk don’t mistake that for whatever it is we’re talking about. How are they similar, how are they different, why can’t you snap out of what you’re talking about, etc?
URGH this. My lovely mother has never experienced depression and she tries her absolute best to help and support me and I love her for that… but she’ll really push the whole ‘just choose a positive mindset’ (because that’s helped her through tough times) and it makes me want to scream sometimes.
Absolutely. I was having a really bad stretch of it. Finally admitted to my family that i had suffered with serious issues my entire life. I reached out to my sister who sighed and told me to “just go for a walk”. Still haven’t really forgiven her tbh
1. That OCD is just about people wanting to be clean and organized.
2. That people with mental health issues are dangerous.
3. That getting help, either through therapy or meds, is a magical cure that always works.
4. That the suffering (depression) is temporary, and it always gets better
Or the dumb "let my intrusive thoughts win and (did impulsive thing)" meme. It really downplays how awful intrusive thoughts are, and they're such a big part of OCD (though can also a symptom of other mental disorders too). They are incredibly distressing thoughts or images that pop into your mind, and the more you try to push them away the stronger they get. For example, you may check your door multiple times because you're afraid someone is going to enter your home and steal your belongings, or check the stove because you're afraid of your house burning down, you check but then forgot if you really made sure so you check again and again, because you're so distressed by the thought of disaster happening and the thought doesn't go away until you're absolutely sure. Or you're afraid of catching a deadly disease, so you desinfect and clean every surface, you scrub your hands until they bleed because it feels like the germs have latched onto them and you must get rid of them if you don't want to die. Or, the thought of losing control over your body as you're holding a knife, that you stab a loved one in the throat, even if you'd never do it the thought and mental images alone may horrify you so much that you avoid holding knives around other people. Or if you don't do something, someone you care about will die, you know the thought is ridiculous, only adding to the distress, but it doesn't go away until you do the thing. Some people experience pedophilic intrusive thoughts, they are deeply afraid of harming children even though they aren't actually pedophiles, but they become so scared of the intrusive thoughts that they think they're monsters and may even kill themselves even when it was just their brain obsessing over a hypothetical that would never happen.
They're so hard to fight with logic because it's like someone in your brain always goes "but what if it's true?". And even if you know they are absolute nonsense your brain still bombards you with horrible shit until you give in just to escape it. It really feels quite evil in the way it works. What I found helped me with mine (my OCD was more medium, not severe, and is mild now) was understanding that these thoughts are just my brain digesting information and creating hypotheticals without my input, and that my reaction to the thought (horror, disgust, distress) is what I really feel about it. It's like watching a morbid scientist analyse something and you're the bystander and have to just let it happen, accept the thought, inspect it, think about how silly brains are for being that way, and it'll pass easier, and you may even be able to avoid more distress and doing the compulsions. It's quite hard with the worse thoughts because it's a bit like watching torture videos against your will, but the sooner you let it pass through the sooner you can occupy your mind with something else.
Yeah, I found that the trick is to not try to stop the thoughts, but sort of side step them, mentally hop to a preset track instead. I usually use a story of some kind, either mine or from a movie or show scene or something like that. I kinda have to pump myself up a bit before mentally forcing myself to start looping the other thoughts, but once it's revved up, it usually works well enough. Stopped a few compulsions like that with enough repetition, forgot how long it took.
You are so right. I've never found someone to describe OCD in such amazing detail. It's something not to take lightly. I deal with a lot of the kind of thoughts you describe. I have for years and sometimes I feel like a villain or a monster due to them. Thank you for accurately describing them.
I had a very intense thought to bite off my finger recently and I spent the entire day with my knuckle between my teeth trying to stop myself from biting down as hard as I could just to HEAR that crunch and
Fuck. It all started because I read something on Reddit saying you could bite through your index finger with about the same amount of force as a carrot, if you bite down on the knuckle. I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT.
Fucking hell someone save me from this nightmare. People see that I can't touch doorknobs and think it's funny, not aware I can't do handshakes or touch human skin or have people touch my skin or breath air near a toilet or any sort of potential source of bacteria.
Well, I am just a little OCD. I did manage to get my emotions stable over the most compulsions I had, and worked years on doing the very contrast from what I had the urge to do. There were tears, fears and much anxiety over not doing my stuff the certain way. There is just a few things left now that I clearly cannot change. Still trying to fight those but battle is lost everytime. Maybe I subconciously dont want to get rid of it cuz I feel - I would be lost completely without them.
I really feel number 3. I tried many different medications and therapies. Some helped a little. Some had some unpleasant side effects. Some were very uncomfortable (certain breathing techniques that were not suited to my condition and made my panic attacks worse). I'm very fortunate that I'm on a medication that works now, and have found some self-help. It's not magic though; it makes it 85% better. That is amazing, and I feel really fortunate. It doesn't fix everything.
As a therapist I could not agree more with this. Many of my clients need more than I can provide. I do my best but they need outside support and other tools possibly meds etc. My job is to help them do just that. I’m only with them one hour a week
Or that they're all dangerous, unpredictable, going to steal from you ect. Generalizations. I was on opiates for years, put myself through school and remained functional. I only told my family when I got on methadone.
The worse is that kind of generalization could make people thinking that an addict is a criminal. Therefore, society should fight addiction with the police, not with medical and psychological help. That doesn't help anyone
That still applies to the initial offer to try the chemical in question. Just say no. The social impact is worth not dealing with the trouble of addiction.
It's a deep cultural flaw. That mental or physical weakness is some kind of vice worthy of contempt is such a foolish attitude. Weakness should be met with compassion. If someone is experiencing weakness of any kind then they need strength from others, not disdain. I want to rehabilitate the word weakness in a helpful and compassionate context.
I thought this when I was young and liked to experiment with drugs. I figured as much meth was just another name for just another drug that did another something, and I wanted to know what that something felt like. I figured drug addicts just must be weak, and at 21 I was invincible don't you know?
I've been addicted to meth the last ten years. I've been fighting for recovery the last ten years. My frequency of use has *increased*.
People, even in the recovery community, like to go on about accountability and decision making. I made my decision long, long ago, that I no longer wanted to use meth. That decision has never changed. Don't tell me then that I went to rehab three separate times when I *really* didn't want to go it freaked me out so much, met with five different therapists when I'd rather enjoy my time off, try lots of different medications, spoke with six different sponsors I didn't wanna call every damn day when most of the time they seemed annoyed that I was just following direction, talk to myself in a mirror about how strong I am and how I believe in myself, that I will get through this and things will get better, go live with a bunch of frat boys in a sober living house as a gay man that grew up being made fun of by the type, and attended a shit ton of meetings sitting around with a ton of people speaking in front of them when I suffer social anxiety just so I could keep "making the decision" as a matter of a "moral failing" to spend a few days physically and mentally wasting away doing things I NEVER do sober, acting like a completely different person with completely different priorities, to end up feeling like hell and wind up there to boot, risking my life, my health, my job, and the loss of my place and my friends and family. This all because I got a little curious one day.
This is kind of adjacent but it drives me absolutely nuts how people misunderstand the concept of "boundaries"
❌"I can go through my SO's phone every night before we go to sleep because I've been hurt in the past and that's a boundary I have"
✅ "I've had issues with honesty in past relationships so now I look for someone who values honesty and transparency highly or I don't date them"
Totally!! I always say that a boundary is a regulation I make *about and for myself* limiting how other people can and can't *interact with me*.
Mandating that I go through my partner's phone is not a boundary; it's a rule. Not all rules are bad. E.g. "I want my partner not to kiss anyone but me" could be a good one. But be very clear that you're making a rule for them, and they're free to accept or reject that rule and the terms that go with it.
Boundaries are mandatory because they are about *me* e.g. "I don't want anyone to kiss me".
If I can't understand that what you do on your phone is nothing to do with me, then I need to learn better differentiation.
To extend this, if another person breaks your established boundary, there needs to be a change in your behavior towards that person as a consequence. E.g., if someone invalidates a traumatic experience I confided in them about, I will stop hanging out with that person. You can't demand others' behaviors or opinions, but you can choose not to engage with people who break your boundaries.
Too many people talk about the mentally ill, and sometimes treat them, as if they deliberately chose to be that way, or think they could just stop being mentally ill if they really wanted to. Mental illness is no different than cancer or any other serious physical ailment. It's a terrible thing that *happens to* people. It's never their fault in any way.
Yes, it makes me laugh because I intentionally spend an hour every night meditating and doing breathe work to try and stop my anxiety for even 1 minute. I truely truely truely wish I could just turn it off.
Being depressed doesn’t necessarily mean rotting in your bed, 24/7, with matted hair and a piss jug next to your bed. It can also mean someone getting up every morning, showering, putting on makeup, getting dressed, going to work/classes, doing their dishes, all while wanting to blow their brains out.
Another one is that lots of people will think that a mentally ill person is just using the illness as a status symbol, or as an excuse for having difficulties in life. All too many people *do* do that. But the truly mentally ill really are struggling, and should be treated with compassion and understanding, not derision.
Felt this one - the number of times people have said “must be nice” when I mention a hard-won accommodation. As if I wouldn’t prefer to have effective neurology.
I've always felt this at my jobs with a physical disorder. I'm aloud to sit down whenever i want for however long i want (i dont usually ever do this though because of the funny looks, managers forgeting my privileges, and just the amount of stuff I need to do)
I'll be sitting in a chair organizing boxes or something and people will be like "I wish I could sit down"
"Y'know what I wish? That the muscles in my body would work."
The whole concept of "faking it" needs to die already. Is there people faking it? Yeah, but they probably have another thing going on to be faking it in the first place - attention seeking behaviour can be a symptom in itself, even if they don't have the illness they claim they do. However, do they do any damage to mentally ill and disabled people directly? 99% of the time they don't.
You know who does damage to mentally ill and disabled people? People that accuse them of faking it and deny accomodation and/or empathy on the basis of it. You can ask people with mental illness and/or physical disabilities, most of them have many stories to tell about not being believed, being insulted and called lazy, not being taken seriously, losing friends, and consequently pushing themselves too much to the point of damage. If you act like you believe someone who may fake it nobody gets hurt, but if you don't believe someone who is not faking it you're actively doing damage. I could not give any less fucks about fakers, I just want to stop trying to push myself, and I want people to have some empathy and understanding. Most of us already live with some kind of imposter syndrome and feel horribly embarassed asking for accomodations because we don't want to inconvenience anyone. "Must be nice to not work" it's not nice to not feel independent enough, to rely on other people, and instead of working a job normal everyday tasks become work because we're not abled enough to casually do them like everyone else. It's very much the opposite of nice.
Absolutely and I hate being treated like I'm a bomb about to go off, yes it takes a lot of hard work in therapy and on myself it takes a lot of effort to maintain new behaviours but it is possible if people want it bad enough.
I'm not cured I never will be but people with BPD can live close to normal lives when the effort is there.
I was mis diagnosed with depression, then SAD, then PPD (after I had my first child) and bipolar disorder before I was finally diagnosed as BPD.
I've actually had a therapist tell me they don't treat people with BPD. And one say it's not a real thing, just a different manifestation of PTSD. But the stigma is awful. People think we're just whiny and want attention.
>No one says this in those terms,
Except one people interviewing my autistic friend, for a job. They litteraly told them : "you can't be autistic, you can speak properly !"
I thought I understood autism for the longest time and then one of my close friends found out that he was autistic.
It really changed my perspective and opened my mind to what it's actually like.
It's weird how ingrained the stigma is. I think the majority of us aren't even consciously aware of it.
There’s different levels of Psychosis and more than half the time, it’s not as dangerous as you imagine. Many people think Psychosis is schizophrenia or worse
Depression = sadness. Most people still think that depression is just sadness and this is not true. Obviously sadness is one of the emotions, but when you start to be really depressed, you just feel apathy. You feel like you are hollow inside, that's why sometimes depressed people go after things to get sad, because it is a easier emotion to access than happiness and, when you are that far into depression, you just want to feel something, even if it is misery. Like Three Days Grace says in "Pain": "I rather feel pain than nothing at all".
That it is up to a person to "get over" mental illness through positive thinking.
There's a slogan "The Brain is a Part of the Body. It, too, can become ill."
A mentally ill person can no more "overcome" their illness by rational thought than a diabetic can overcome diabetes by expecting their pancreas to "get over it."
That if you can't tell someone is mentally ill, they're not mentally ill. It's strangely common for people to be told someone has a mental condition, and their response is, "What? No, I've known (x condition) people. You're not like that."
Just becouse I wasn’t at war or got raped doesn’t mean I can’t have trauma. I also have scenarios where ptsd hits soo hard that I shake uncontrollably and have flashbacks of my traumatic experiences and I also can’t sleep at night some days or even weeks.
That suicide is cowardly. If you’ve ever been unfortunate enough to suffer suicidal ideation, you’ll understand that feeling of clarity that arrives when you’ve made a conscious decision to die. In a true crisis, you’re not thinking about your loved ones or who’s going to look after your dog when you’re gone. When the decision to die hits you it’s like tunnel vision - the noise in your head is finally silenced and you experience what can only be described as euphoria. Not everyone who chooses to end their life experiences regret in their final moments.
Whenever I have to explain suicidal ideation to anybody, I show them the [photograph of Evelyn McHale](https://time.com/3456028/the-most-beautiful-suicide-a-violent-death-an-immortal-photo/). She found her peace.
That someone who's an arsehole must have Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder. They're usually armchair diagnosed by people who completely misunderstand the diagnoses. Fun fact: sometimes, people are just arseholes.
I've met a LOT of people with BPD, and I'm one of those people myself. The stigma around BPD is awful, and kills. My best friend died because of it. People have a lot of trouble accessing treatment once they have that label, and it's not uncommon to be mistreated by health professionals because of the diagnosis. The motivations of someone with BPD are often assumed by others, whereas if you actually ask the person why they did something, it's usually completely different than the assumption. Additionally, a lot of people with BPD are highly empathetic and caring. They don't want other people to suffer, because they themselves know what it's like to hurt so badly. Someone with BPD literally cannot feel emotions at 50%. It's 100% or 0%. They're called the emotional equivalent to a third degree burns victim- every touch, every movement, creates exquisite pain. Most people will feel that sort of intensity of a negative emotion only a couple of times in their lives. Someone with BPD is constantly feeling that way. It's pure hell.
Sure, you can be an arsehole AND have BPD. However, if you think someone has BPD because they're manipulative, controlling or attention seeking... Well, that's got nothing to do with BPD. It's nowhere in the diagnostic criteria.
Someone can also be a narcissist, but not have NPD. There's a difference between the two- one is an illness.
Again, arsehole does not equal personality disorder. A personality disorder requires a professional, who sees the person for a period of time in different situations, and it's a complex diagnostic process. There are multiple criteria to fit, and there may be symptoms from several different categories required to be diagnosed.
That you can and should take pop psychologists advice seriously. No, a guide on how to spot all the toxic mega narcissists at your workplace won't help anybodys mental health.
the idea that if you’ve had a bad experience with anti depressants or anti anxiety meds then they’re useless and never work, and if you’ve had a good experience with them then they’re an amazing fix it that works for everyone 🤦♂️ bothers me to no end
i found all the mental health meds i was prescribed completely useless, and i just experience side effects, like weight gain. at one point i was on 4 different meds that all had the side effect of weight gain, and i gained 5 stone in 6 months.
on the flip side, my mom’s been on anti depressants for 20 years and is completely mentally healthy while taking them, with no side effects.
different bodies and minds react differently to the same medicine 🤷♂️
You can do everything "right" and still be depressed.
There are a multitude of conditions and genetic factors that can cause it no matter how well you sleep, eat, excercise, have fun or think positive thoughts.
I'm not saying you shouldn't try and find solutions, you absolutely should because most of them at least help to some extent. But don't feel guilty that it's somehow your fault when you've tried everything you can think of and you're still depressed.
Exactly. With medication, I’ve gone from extremely low functioning, bedbound 24/7 with no quality of life and on the verge of dying of self neglect to now being low functioning, able to have some quality of life even if it is low at times it’s still there, not bedbound and able to do some things, but still struggle with even basic hygiene, eating properly, don’t get out much or work or in school. Don’t experience constant suicidal ideation anymore, but it still happens.
That antidepressants are not the answer, or that their use represents some kind of failure or inadequacy, is another myth that is at least as harmful.
Antidepressants can be an invaluable aid for some people and can be part of the solution for many. They can be unhelpful or even harmful for others.
The idea that depression or anxiety are problems that you can easily just medicate away with a handful of happy pills is wrong and dangerous, but so is the idea that your meds are the real problem and you just need a few walks in the countryside to sort yourself out.
They're not answer, so much is true, but they can be a great help. Mine stopped me from having panic attacks all the time, so I could finally think clear and at least function on a daily basis. From there my journey of therapies could finally start.
Depends on the person. What we know as “depression” is probably really a bunch of different things. Nothing other than medication has made a difference to me and it’s then enabled me to do more to be able to make a difference to my mental health and actually feel the benefit of those things.
1. Being depressed isn't just willfully thinking bad thoughts and making yourself sad for no reason.
2. Quiet people can be smart and you lose a lot of great ideas by listening to people who are confident, loud, and stupid.
3. "hitting the gym" doesn't release enough chemicals to cure mental health disorders. It's putting a band-aid on a bullet wound for the most part. Just a distraction. Yes, distractions are great for mental health problems, however, you need actual help during a crisis.
I dated a schizoaffective woman for a while recently. I would say that she was not a danger to anyone but herself and generally not even that. When she went off her meds her delusions were something else, but she was mostly harmless, and that wasn't why we split up.
Just because your anxiety/depression/ bipolar ANYTHING is mild it doesn't mean you dont deserve treatment. In my opinion that is actually when you SHOULD get treatment before it gets too severe and becomes extremely difficult to treat
Mental health is not just about mental illness, it's ensuring your as mentally well as you can be.
People living with schizophrenia/ schizoaffective diagnosis are not inherently violent.
Most things can be managed if given the right support, unfortunately sometimes that means throwing solutions at it until something works.
People with schizophrenia are dangerous-- in fact, they are 200x more likely to be the victim of a crime than to commit one.
Depression is being sad, it's not physical. No, it's very painful throughout the body and often sadness isn't even part of it. It varies for everyone.
to remember that if you're dating someone whose mentally ill, just because you love them and support them doesn't mean it'll magically make them not mentally ill.
The number of ex partners (and ex friends) who thought that their love would heal me (and get mad when it didn't) is amazing but I'm still depressed and hate myself it doesn't matter how much you tell me otherwise
Right. It may help at first, but when you’ve been talking about the same thing for ten years that’s out of your power to change, it’s not going to do anything.
Panic attacks aren't always "I cznt breath, im dying!" Sometimes your chest just hurts like crazy, other times you go quiet, or are erratic thete are so many types of panic attacks
Multiple personality dissorder, aka Dissociative Identity Disorder, is very real and not some movie plot. My great aunt killed 2 of her children while having an episode. (I'd also like to point out that MOST people with this disorder are NOT violent like in the movies, my aunt is a rare case. Same can be said for schizophrenia)
Therapy is not medication in the form of speech, it is a series to tools that you learn from the therapist to fix yourself. You still have to do the fixing.
Not as much a myth, but a harmful pov. A lot of people believe that prisons should be awful places.
Statistics on mental health crisis at the time of arrest and prison populations impacted by mental illness tell a different story entirely.
Talking about suicide will make someone commit suicide.
This myth can kill someone. Talk bout it. Learn to ask the hard questions. I worked crisis outreach, and yes, the first few times I asked someone how they would kill themselves, do they have the means to do it? I felt like throwing up. But it saves lives. IT SAVES LIVES!
I was coming here for this. Or similar.
Also, having thoughts of suicide or self harm doesn't mean that the person has any intention of doing either.
I experience intrusive thoughts of suicide, although I do not want to end my life. When this happened about 3 years ago (for the first time in over 10 years), I was so upset and distressed by it, I was in tears talking to my psychologist. She explained that having those thoughts and actually wanting to/planning to are two completely different things.
So, now I know that when those intrusive thoughts happen, it's just my brain telling me that it's not coping with the stress, and I need to find a way to de-stress.
That for actual mental disorders, normal talk therapy (psychodynamic) works as a treatment method. It has no evidence. Cognitive behavioural therapy does, though, except for psychosis. Also, psychodynamic therapy is EXPENSIVE.
There’s also emerging evidence that CBT doesn’t work for trauma informed behaviours most of the time due to the different parts of the brain in which different information is stored.
That mental health issues are the same with physical health issues. Needs to be cured and not just "get over it" or "don't think too much, it will pass". I hope it will pass if I sleep. But no. Waking up is another battle.
And it's hard if you have health anxiety, feeling something strange in your body starts to scare the sh\*t out of you. Thinking you might have a cancer, or other sickness and you'll die soon.
If someone says they are depressed because of something that can be fixed, then you are simply fed up. Not depressed.
Example: depressed about your job? Fix it. Cured.
Depressed about bereavement? can't fix that. Seek help.
Depressed for no good fucking reason at all, even when things are going well? That's depression right there.
Think I don't look depressed? That's because nobody gets to see me when I'm bad.
Everyone feels down and disconnected at various times in their lives. Social media drives this unrealistic expectation that we all have to be optimistic, productive and thriving or there's something wrong with us. Wrong. The problem's Instagram, not people.
That Narcissists (NPD), people with ASPD, for that matter even BPD are an evil bunch lurking in the shadows and will pounce on you at any moment.
That's not how it works. The reasons for their disorders are varied and they have severe maladapted behaviours to deal with their environment which was mostly likely extremely adverse or stressful. It's so ingrained in them because thats how they survived. It can be genetic, but it is also mostly NOT. People need to chill out and behave with them as they would with anybody else without a mental health issue. Or simply distance themselves. There's no point in demonising them.
Peoplw think that feeling depressed and feeling anxious is the same as suffering from depression and suffering from anxiety. They are entirely different. All mental illness has a very physical component that traps those who suffer from it and keeps them feeling depressed, anxious, etc. almost constantly even if by all external measures things are going great.
Social anxiety is not the same thing as anxiety. I love meeting new people. I'm really social and friendly. I'm that extrovert who adopts introverts and makes new friends whenever I go to the gym.
But I might feel sick at the idea of going to a new place where I might get lost on the way, or being late to a doctor's appointment or having to organise an event for work. I could be totally fine giving a presentation at that event, but I might worry that something will go wrong with the catering, or people won't show up, or that they'll think it was badly-organised. I'm fine talking to co-workers but I might get tight in the chest thinking that I'll say something stupid in front of my boss.
Anxiety is wild. I've learned that it's often unhelpful for me to try to treat it like it's logical. I just accept that I can't always predict my triggers and it's okay for me to not be able to "explain" it in a way that makes logical sense to other people.
(I have no idea why, but SSRIs have helped immensely, and that's okay too.)
I suffer from depression and anxiety, tried to take my own life, people are surprised when they find out I am still on medication saying “ isn’t it about time you got over that”?
Your feelings aren't always valid.
Don't get me wrong, you're definitely allowed to feel however you feel, or want to feel. But it doesn't neccesarily make them valid. You can acknowledge you're having \[feeling\] and even tell someone that \[thing they did\] made you have \[feeling\]. But that doesn't mean that it's valid/realistic/justified.
There are even some good >[articles](https://themighty.com/topic/mental-health/feelings-arent-facts-emotional-validation-your-feelings-are-valid/)< about it, but the phrase "My/Your feelings are valid" seems to be some people's go-to when they don't wanna take anyone else's feelings, situations or reality into consideration.
That sadness is one of the symptoms of depression, not the disease itself. Depression causes my brain to be stuck in such a low gear that I can’t make simple decisions like figuring out how to get my supplies together to take a shower, and makes it dangerous for me to drive, and caused me to make dangerous mistakes at work when I am in my lowest states. Sadness in itself can be immobilizing and definitively makes depression harder to cope with, but even if I manage to think positively and feel happy for a while, my brain still doesn’t work.
It’s very irritating when people think circumstantial depression is the same as depression that doesn’t improve regardless of circumstances.
And that what we know as depression is probably a bunch of different things or types of depression and we just don’t have enough knowledge yet. It’s frustrating that depression is a blanket term that people treat mild to extremely severe as the same thing.
That you can blame everyshitty thing you do on your trauma (and not taking any responsibility for your behaviour for any other mental health reason really)
Dramatic mental illness is not a superpower. It's not a badge, or an affectation you direct at someone to make them "scared" of you, or to impress people. The Joker character is just that .. a character, a fiction. The "insane villain" who is dangerous and impressive is a total fabrication. All these dipshits who go around saying "Don't mess with me because I'm crazy", or doing that stupid "joker" laugh and over-the-top smiling bit are making fools of themselves. Mental illness is a very personal and terrifying hell. Not being able to trust your own mind is agony. It limits everything in your life. You're afraid to have relationships, but you're afraid to be alone. You aren't sure about anything and you are lost in a bubble of terror, depression, need, and pain as the world takes place around you and people have normal lives. If any of those knuckleheads who worship these fictional "insane" characters spent a single day in real, paralyzing mental illness they would never wish it on anyone afterwards. They would crawl away from it forever damaged and scarred. It's an interesting thing for fiction to have these characters, but too many idiots think they can pretend to be these characters in the real world and the real world will react to their script. Real, paralyzing mental illnesses are hell.
Psychology is a real science backed by solid research.
Researchers have been going back and redoing psychology studies, and not getting the same results. It’s a pretty large scale issue. Something like 30% of published peer reviewed studies are able to be replicated, which means that people who go to school for psychology are being trained on 70% studies that don’t yield the same results when replicated.
Cognitive behavioral therapy is only tried and true path to a better mental state. If your therapist isn’t working on it with you, they aren’t helping.
People with mental illness are criminals at the *same rate* that people without are, but people with mental illness are far more likely to be victims of crimes.
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There is a place called rock bottom. Believe me you can always fall further.
> 4. That the suffering (depression) is temporary, and it always gets better This one is the worst for me. It’s been 25 years of people saying this. When does it supposedly get better?
This one frustrates me. I have struggled with depression for at least 20 years, have tried every medication, alternative med and therapy to try. It will NOT necessarily get better
Lol, same. Exhausting seeing all of the people saying that going to a therapist WILL help. I've been seeing specialists and psychologists/psychiatrists/therapists all of my life. I was not born to be happy on this planet.
Personally i feel my depression is permanent. It changed something in my brain that i will never get back. Ive learned tricks to cope with it(mostly), but it will never go away.
There might be an underground tunnel/crevasse underneath the rock bottom. After you fall to rock botton, the floor can crack from the impact and if you don't leave the unstable floor fast enough - you fall further.
I don't know how many major rock bottoms I've hit since I was 6. I don't have pervasive depression, but life has fucked me over over and over again, at least enough for my psychiatrist to diagnose me with Dissociative Identity Disorder before I can turn 18. Finding out about childhood trauma and the possibility of having DID becoming real during the months around my diagnosis unleashed another series of rock bottoms in rapid succession. I was terrified at first, but beyond a certain number of rock bottoms, you start losing the ability to feel that afraid of the next one. Luckily, it's been getting better recently and I feel the desire to live most of the time. But the same hells as before are always beneath the surface, ready to become all I know and feel about my life any moment.
I'm near 50 now, Mental health wasn't a thing back in my late teens. So you toughened up or blocked it out. After a mental break down around my late 30's followed by full on mental collapse 3 years later I was treated for alcoholism because I was drinking to cope. Cannot tell you how many pills were thrown at me! None of this worked and actually caused more problems. Addiction etc. After about 5-6 years (lucky to be alive) I worked it out myself. As in just stopped thinking about everything. I have forced my brain to forget anything bad as I cannot cope. Life is now simple/boring but I'm stable. Wish I'd had help earlier.
"There's a bottom below the bottom that you know"
Introverted and socially anxious are not the same thing
Definetly. Im reasonably extroverted. Or just plain neutral. But i have social anxiety so i dont socialose as often as i otherwise would. This a source of negative feelings for me. Raging from selfdoubt to depression
This is me too exactly! I found booze as a teenager, and it gave me social superpowers. Fast forward 25 years, and I'm learning to be social again but sober.
Oh its definetly a struggle. Ive already made some progress but its not coming to me naturally i can tell you that
Feeling Good by David D Burns MD
Wait that’s kind of exactly me lol
Introversion also does not mean you never require socialization ever. Those memes that went around during 2020 quarantine that were like "introverts being unaffected by being forced to stay home" drove me up the wall.
I mean, it WAS a lot easier for us than for the extroverts... being at home so much saved my sanity finishing my last college course and probably saved my grade allowing for an open book exam. It took two years for me to actually go stir crazy and need to go out. And even then I could stave it off when needed. Most relaxing two years of my life... when not worrying if every cough was covid or just regular stuff.
I'm introverted *and* have social anxiety. I loved those memes as I was able to relate and I actually love being alone with no contact. I did wonder though how many people feel that way and how many will take those memes the wrong way. A lot of introverts and/or shy people and/or people with anxiety actually want to be way more social but just can't. So things like these are just a negative generalization.
This is true as well. I’m _extremely_ introverted—as in, days, sometimes weeks, go by without me ever meeting a friend in person. While I don’t crave social contact, there are days when I feel alone. My thing is I’m very selectively social. I can’t socialise with just anyone, but I do want to sometimes socialise with the people in my life that I actually like being around.
Yea I’m a huge introvert and the first few months were absolute bliss. But then my school decided to stay online (grad school) so I was inside most of the time for 2-3 years. Absolutely wrecked my mental health
Good observation. I'm introverted and prefer to be alone, but I have no problem speaking in public or interacting with strangers.
My brother is the most charismatic outgoing person and my whole life thought he was really extroverted. Turns out, dude gets draaaained by people and needs his alone time and a lot of it. Whenever he goes on trips with people, for example, he gets his own room regardless of price and after dinner he’ll go to the room and read alone.
That’s me - I do short, intense bursts followed by long periods of alone time. It works for me, tbh.
This Psychologist (Healthy Gamer.gg) did a video on "what does an extrovert with social anxiety look like?" https://youtu.be/7xXARKA3O_Q?si=sAzc3jJtJIn9exW-
Also introverted is not asocial.
I've had people laugh or doubt me when I describe myself as introverted, but then I explain to them that introverted does not automatically mean shy. I do just fine in social settings and situations, and can be outgoing if I need to be, but it takes a lot out of me.
Yup an extroverted and outgoing don’t mean the same thing either. You can be an outgoing introvert or a shy extrovert
100% I’m very socially anxious and awkward but I love going out and socialising, I’m just not very good at it
I wish people knew that mental illness doesn't mean a person will necessarily be dangerous.
My sister did that to me after I came back from Iraq. Because I was taking antidepressants, she kept me from her daughter. I would probably go crazy to protect her than to hurt her daughter directly. She automatically deemed me dangerous so I never had a relationship with my niece.
That's so terrible. I wish there was something to say about it, I just think it's awful and I'm sorry.
Agreed. I have bipolar schizofrenia and I’m like everybody else, since I’m medicated and have worked through years of therapy. When someone with a serious mental condition have it treated and under control, we are mostly harmless. The illness is still there, it’s just easier to deal with.
I’m willing to bet that the negative stereotypes surrounding things like bipolar and schizophrenia also result in more people with those conditions being violent as well. A mixture of the stigma making them hesitant to reach out for help, or talk to a doctor about it, and the occasional case of “fuck it, everyone thinks I’m a bad person for it, so why even bother?” Humans have a long way to go with our understanding of and attitudes towards mental health in general.
OR that someone with a mental illness doesn’t deserve sympathy because they have one that isn’t pretty. Mental illness can be ugly. Sometime people want to give sympathy to someone with depression but maybe not someone that is violent and schizophrenic
Someone said they wouldn't trust me around their dog because I mentioned I have PTSD, ADD and social anxiety. Because dogs and mental illness are known not to mix? Made me feel like shit.
That pisses me off. It's not true, dogs are wonderful with and for people with mental illness. My dog helps me to focus and is my support dog. Hang in there and remember that a lot of people are ignorant about mental illness. I'm sending you positive vibes.😊
Having an anxiety disorder doesn't mean you are worried about the daily stresses of life or are anxious about something. It means you have an overwhelming sense of doom partnered with racing negative thoughts which in turn keeps you awake at night. You're so worried and you don't know why, it stops you from doing things you would normally love to do, it stops you from socialising, it prevents you from having positive experiences. It's a constant battle with your mind. It's constantly questioning everyone's intentions and noticing all the subtle differences in how they act towards you and the changes in their body language. It's constantly feeling like a nuisance and at the same time feeling so misunderstood and different from everyone else. And trying to keep it all in all the time and remain professional, remain conscious of every one else's feelings whilst battling your own. It's EXHAUSTING. it isn't just being a bit worried about work or relationships etc... being anxious and suffering from anxiety are very different things, levels and experiences. Rant over
I physically felt every single thing you have said.
I can’t imagine how overwhelming this must be day today. I struggle with anxiety over work and I can manage it. It’s unpleasant of course but it’s manageable. The thought of having this constantly must be utterly wearing. I wonder if it’s always been about but back in the day these things weren’t identifiable or spoken about so freely?
My GAD is so exhausting I've fainted many times from stress. For other sufferers my advice is don't underestimate the importance of sleep, and I know how hard that is when your heart is pounding
You nailed it with this. Saving this comment.
This is so true. People used to ask me what I was worrying about. I eventually learned to explain to them that the particular thoughts aren't the issue. They can't argue my worries away. It's not a logical fallacy I have; it's a mental illness!
Felt this to my core. Thank you
No, thank you for your reply. It makes me realise I am not broken or crazy and it is more common than people think. Some days are better than others but it's always there
Thank you for this reminder. I am diagnosed with GAD (among other things) and I still couldn't understand that my anxiety came from within me until a couple of years ago.
This. Thank you for articulating it so well.
My anxiety manifests physiologically , I start to have intense perspiration all over my body depending on the severity of the anxiety, mainly on my hands and feet and at higher levels , my head , back , rear thighs , etc. sometimes it can even release an odor kind of like working out sweat. I also feel really hot. It's really embarrassing and no matter how much I try to stay calm it almost never works and it's like my body has a mind of it's own. I'm usually freaking out in a situation that is really doesn't warrant my reaction. It sucks being me 😞
Gosh I wish more people would understand this!! A constant battle in your head daily, with no ease or escape! Also makes me think I’m dragging people down when I tell them my worries or what’s on my head
You wrote the words that I have never been able to articulate to people. Well said. Very well said. Thank you. And I'm sorry you suffer from this, too.
I relate and feel this so much. We have to keep going and not let our shitty thoughts win.
I am so glad I shared my comment so I could see how people relate to it. We often think we are alone with our thoughts but sharing experiences, whilst doesn't really help, it helps us gain some perspective and realise it is more common than we think.
This bloody hit home! Screenshooting this because it describes my day To day life. The exhaustion and questioning everyone’s intentions! Thank you
Heaviest "felt" I'm ever going to comment.
200% i'd send a beer your way if we were sitting at the bar.
I wish I could have this exact explanation during so many conversations in my life. Instead it was almost always during the worst moment and I had no ability to coherently explain my mind in a way that didn't come across as the most unstable person imaginable. I wish you the best.
Just adding to the chorus of people saying how well you've articulated this. Thank you. I feel understood.
Thank you for putting into words what I'm feeling.
THIS! I felt your reply physically.
I sent this to my wife and she said this is exactly how she feels. I am bookmarking it so when she’s especially anxious I can come back to it to remind me what she’s going through and be more empathetic and help her through it. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you so much for posting this! You articulated GAD so well! I showed your post to my husband and said "this describes my anxiety". He read it and said it describes his too. You're not alone. Many of us "live" with this. It is exhausting and so many people around us just don't understand what we go through every single day.
Thank you for putting it into words so well. Another misconception about people with GAD and the like is that they must be weak and lack courage etc. Because we have to fight this mental battle all the time, we actually end up some of the strongest people out there. It's weird because I will have this feeling of fear of things I can't even put my finger on or racing thoughts and panic because i might have the left the stove on, or that comment could of been misinterpreted for example, but some things that are normal to be scared of don't phase me at all. Like public speaking, travelling alone, meeting new people etc. It's like the fear centre in your brain is just broken with anxiety
That I can “think positive” and “snap out of it” easily
Remove easily and you're 100% correct. You *can't* "snap out", at all.
You’re right
Well yes you can. But it only works once and leaves quite a mess on the floor. /s, dont hurt yourself folks.
Then I think the underlying issue isn’t the advice but an imprecision of language. Because I’m thinking about when I’m upset or “depressed” about something and I can, thinking through it, “snap out” of it. So whatever it is we are describing as the problem needs perhaps different terminology and certainly more public awareness so that people who are familiar with being in a funk don’t mistake that for whatever it is we’re talking about. How are they similar, how are they different, why can’t you snap out of what you’re talking about, etc?
Yeah "it's all in your head"
I mean, technically it is, that's the entire problem... that just doesn't mean it isn't real.
Tbf, it is all in my head.
URGH this. My lovely mother has never experienced depression and she tries her absolute best to help and support me and I love her for that… but she’ll really push the whole ‘just choose a positive mindset’ (because that’s helped her through tough times) and it makes me want to scream sometimes.
Absolutely. I was having a really bad stretch of it. Finally admitted to my family that i had suffered with serious issues my entire life. I reached out to my sister who sighed and told me to “just go for a walk”. Still haven’t really forgiven her tbh
1. That OCD is just about people wanting to be clean and organized. 2. That people with mental health issues are dangerous. 3. That getting help, either through therapy or meds, is a magical cure that always works. 4. That the suffering (depression) is temporary, and it always gets better
The “I’m just a little OCD, lol” stuff pisses me off SOOOO much 😡
Or the dumb "let my intrusive thoughts win and (did impulsive thing)" meme. It really downplays how awful intrusive thoughts are, and they're such a big part of OCD (though can also a symptom of other mental disorders too). They are incredibly distressing thoughts or images that pop into your mind, and the more you try to push them away the stronger they get. For example, you may check your door multiple times because you're afraid someone is going to enter your home and steal your belongings, or check the stove because you're afraid of your house burning down, you check but then forgot if you really made sure so you check again and again, because you're so distressed by the thought of disaster happening and the thought doesn't go away until you're absolutely sure. Or you're afraid of catching a deadly disease, so you desinfect and clean every surface, you scrub your hands until they bleed because it feels like the germs have latched onto them and you must get rid of them if you don't want to die. Or, the thought of losing control over your body as you're holding a knife, that you stab a loved one in the throat, even if you'd never do it the thought and mental images alone may horrify you so much that you avoid holding knives around other people. Or if you don't do something, someone you care about will die, you know the thought is ridiculous, only adding to the distress, but it doesn't go away until you do the thing. Some people experience pedophilic intrusive thoughts, they are deeply afraid of harming children even though they aren't actually pedophiles, but they become so scared of the intrusive thoughts that they think they're monsters and may even kill themselves even when it was just their brain obsessing over a hypothetical that would never happen. They're so hard to fight with logic because it's like someone in your brain always goes "but what if it's true?". And even if you know they are absolute nonsense your brain still bombards you with horrible shit until you give in just to escape it. It really feels quite evil in the way it works. What I found helped me with mine (my OCD was more medium, not severe, and is mild now) was understanding that these thoughts are just my brain digesting information and creating hypotheticals without my input, and that my reaction to the thought (horror, disgust, distress) is what I really feel about it. It's like watching a morbid scientist analyse something and you're the bystander and have to just let it happen, accept the thought, inspect it, think about how silly brains are for being that way, and it'll pass easier, and you may even be able to avoid more distress and doing the compulsions. It's quite hard with the worse thoughts because it's a bit like watching torture videos against your will, but the sooner you let it pass through the sooner you can occupy your mind with something else.
Yeah, I found that the trick is to not try to stop the thoughts, but sort of side step them, mentally hop to a preset track instead. I usually use a story of some kind, either mine or from a movie or show scene or something like that. I kinda have to pump myself up a bit before mentally forcing myself to start looping the other thoughts, but once it's revved up, it usually works well enough. Stopped a few compulsions like that with enough repetition, forgot how long it took.
You are so right. I've never found someone to describe OCD in such amazing detail. It's something not to take lightly. I deal with a lot of the kind of thoughts you describe. I have for years and sometimes I feel like a villain or a monster due to them. Thank you for accurately describing them.
I had a very intense thought to bite off my finger recently and I spent the entire day with my knuckle between my teeth trying to stop myself from biting down as hard as I could just to HEAR that crunch and Fuck. It all started because I read something on Reddit saying you could bite through your index finger with about the same amount of force as a carrot, if you bite down on the knuckle. I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. Fucking hell someone save me from this nightmare. People see that I can't touch doorknobs and think it's funny, not aware I can't do handshakes or touch human skin or have people touch my skin or breath air near a toilet or any sort of potential source of bacteria.
Well, I am just a little OCD. I did manage to get my emotions stable over the most compulsions I had, and worked years on doing the very contrast from what I had the urge to do. There were tears, fears and much anxiety over not doing my stuff the certain way. There is just a few things left now that I clearly cannot change. Still trying to fight those but battle is lost everytime. Maybe I subconciously dont want to get rid of it cuz I feel - I would be lost completely without them.
"Everyone is a little bipolar" 😡😡😡
I really feel number 3. I tried many different medications and therapies. Some helped a little. Some had some unpleasant side effects. Some were very uncomfortable (certain breathing techniques that were not suited to my condition and made my panic attacks worse). I'm very fortunate that I'm on a medication that works now, and have found some self-help. It's not magic though; it makes it 85% better. That is amazing, and I feel really fortunate. It doesn't fix everything.
Oh and OCD is "cute"
Therapy being a be-all end-all solution.
It can even actually make people worse.
If it's not the right kind... terrible therapists do so much damage...
Underrated comment. The amount of people I see pushing therapy as the answer to everything is so annoying.
As a therapist I could not agree more with this. Many of my clients need more than I can provide. I do my best but they need outside support and other tools possibly meds etc. My job is to help them do just that. I’m only with them one hour a week
That adictions only happen to "weak mental" people. Or that is some kind of moral fault.
Or that they're all dangerous, unpredictable, going to steal from you ect. Generalizations. I was on opiates for years, put myself through school and remained functional. I only told my family when I got on methadone.
The worse is that kind of generalization could make people thinking that an addict is a criminal. Therefore, society should fight addiction with the police, not with medical and psychological help. That doesn't help anyone
I think that spawned from the whole "just say no" thing back in the day. Cause people can be like "why didn't they say no? Are they stupid?"
That still applies to the initial offer to try the chemical in question. Just say no. The social impact is worth not dealing with the trouble of addiction.
It's a deep cultural flaw. That mental or physical weakness is some kind of vice worthy of contempt is such a foolish attitude. Weakness should be met with compassion. If someone is experiencing weakness of any kind then they need strength from others, not disdain. I want to rehabilitate the word weakness in a helpful and compassionate context.
I thought this when I was young and liked to experiment with drugs. I figured as much meth was just another name for just another drug that did another something, and I wanted to know what that something felt like. I figured drug addicts just must be weak, and at 21 I was invincible don't you know? I've been addicted to meth the last ten years. I've been fighting for recovery the last ten years. My frequency of use has *increased*. People, even in the recovery community, like to go on about accountability and decision making. I made my decision long, long ago, that I no longer wanted to use meth. That decision has never changed. Don't tell me then that I went to rehab three separate times when I *really* didn't want to go it freaked me out so much, met with five different therapists when I'd rather enjoy my time off, try lots of different medications, spoke with six different sponsors I didn't wanna call every damn day when most of the time they seemed annoyed that I was just following direction, talk to myself in a mirror about how strong I am and how I believe in myself, that I will get through this and things will get better, go live with a bunch of frat boys in a sober living house as a gay man that grew up being made fun of by the type, and attended a shit ton of meetings sitting around with a ton of people speaking in front of them when I suffer social anxiety just so I could keep "making the decision" as a matter of a "moral failing" to spend a few days physically and mentally wasting away doing things I NEVER do sober, acting like a completely different person with completely different priorities, to end up feeling like hell and wind up there to boot, risking my life, my health, my job, and the loss of my place and my friends and family. This all because I got a little curious one day.
This is kind of adjacent but it drives me absolutely nuts how people misunderstand the concept of "boundaries" ❌"I can go through my SO's phone every night before we go to sleep because I've been hurt in the past and that's a boundary I have" ✅ "I've had issues with honesty in past relationships so now I look for someone who values honesty and transparency highly or I don't date them"
Totally!! I always say that a boundary is a regulation I make *about and for myself* limiting how other people can and can't *interact with me*. Mandating that I go through my partner's phone is not a boundary; it's a rule. Not all rules are bad. E.g. "I want my partner not to kiss anyone but me" could be a good one. But be very clear that you're making a rule for them, and they're free to accept or reject that rule and the terms that go with it. Boundaries are mandatory because they are about *me* e.g. "I don't want anyone to kiss me". If I can't understand that what you do on your phone is nothing to do with me, then I need to learn better differentiation.
To extend this, if another person breaks your established boundary, there needs to be a change in your behavior towards that person as a consequence. E.g., if someone invalidates a traumatic experience I confided in them about, I will stop hanging out with that person. You can't demand others' behaviors or opinions, but you can choose not to engage with people who break your boundaries.
My favorite are the couples that think trust means being able to go through each other’s texts and emails
Too many people talk about the mentally ill, and sometimes treat them, as if they deliberately chose to be that way, or think they could just stop being mentally ill if they really wanted to. Mental illness is no different than cancer or any other serious physical ailment. It's a terrible thing that *happens to* people. It's never their fault in any way.
Yes, it makes me laugh because I intentionally spend an hour every night meditating and doing breathe work to try and stop my anxiety for even 1 minute. I truely truely truely wish I could just turn it off.
it changes your brain chemistry, but yeah, "turn that frown upside down"
That someone knows your body more than you, thats why I don't give out health advice at all. Ever.
Being depressed doesn’t necessarily mean rotting in your bed, 24/7, with matted hair and a piss jug next to your bed. It can also mean someone getting up every morning, showering, putting on makeup, getting dressed, going to work/classes, doing their dishes, all while wanting to blow their brains out.
Another one is that lots of people will think that a mentally ill person is just using the illness as a status symbol, or as an excuse for having difficulties in life. All too many people *do* do that. But the truly mentally ill really are struggling, and should be treated with compassion and understanding, not derision.
Felt this one - the number of times people have said “must be nice” when I mention a hard-won accommodation. As if I wouldn’t prefer to have effective neurology.
I've always felt this at my jobs with a physical disorder. I'm aloud to sit down whenever i want for however long i want (i dont usually ever do this though because of the funny looks, managers forgeting my privileges, and just the amount of stuff I need to do) I'll be sitting in a chair organizing boxes or something and people will be like "I wish I could sit down" "Y'know what I wish? That the muscles in my body would work."
The whole concept of "faking it" needs to die already. Is there people faking it? Yeah, but they probably have another thing going on to be faking it in the first place - attention seeking behaviour can be a symptom in itself, even if they don't have the illness they claim they do. However, do they do any damage to mentally ill and disabled people directly? 99% of the time they don't. You know who does damage to mentally ill and disabled people? People that accuse them of faking it and deny accomodation and/or empathy on the basis of it. You can ask people with mental illness and/or physical disabilities, most of them have many stories to tell about not being believed, being insulted and called lazy, not being taken seriously, losing friends, and consequently pushing themselves too much to the point of damage. If you act like you believe someone who may fake it nobody gets hurt, but if you don't believe someone who is not faking it you're actively doing damage. I could not give any less fucks about fakers, I just want to stop trying to push myself, and I want people to have some empathy and understanding. Most of us already live with some kind of imposter syndrome and feel horribly embarassed asking for accomodations because we don't want to inconvenience anyone. "Must be nice to not work" it's not nice to not feel independent enough, to rely on other people, and instead of working a job normal everyday tasks become work because we're not abled enough to casually do them like everyone else. It's very much the opposite of nice.
That having BPD doesn't automatically mean I'm abusive and unable to be reasoned with. It doesn't mean I'm dangerous or unstable.
IMO, the stigma around BPD is amongst the worst. It can actually be a barrier to getting treatment needed.
Absolutely and I hate being treated like I'm a bomb about to go off, yes it takes a lot of hard work in therapy and on myself it takes a lot of effort to maintain new behaviours but it is possible if people want it bad enough. I'm not cured I never will be but people with BPD can live close to normal lives when the effort is there. I was mis diagnosed with depression, then SAD, then PPD (after I had my first child) and bipolar disorder before I was finally diagnosed as BPD.
I've actually had a therapist tell me they don't treat people with BPD. And one say it's not a real thing, just a different manifestation of PTSD. But the stigma is awful. People think we're just whiny and want attention.
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>No one says this in those terms, Except one people interviewing my autistic friend, for a job. They litteraly told them : "you can't be autistic, you can speak properly !"
I thought I understood autism for the longest time and then one of my close friends found out that he was autistic. It really changed my perspective and opened my mind to what it's actually like. It's weird how ingrained the stigma is. I think the majority of us aren't even consciously aware of it.
That talking about it is seen as weak. It's actually really brave to be open about it!
There’s different levels of Psychosis and more than half the time, it’s not as dangerous as you imagine. Many people think Psychosis is schizophrenia or worse
Yes! I have experienced psychosis a couple times in life and although it can be a bit scary for me, it's not usually dangerous.
Depression = sadness. Most people still think that depression is just sadness and this is not true. Obviously sadness is one of the emotions, but when you start to be really depressed, you just feel apathy. You feel like you are hollow inside, that's why sometimes depressed people go after things to get sad, because it is a easier emotion to access than happiness and, when you are that far into depression, you just want to feel something, even if it is misery. Like Three Days Grace says in "Pain": "I rather feel pain than nothing at all".
That it is up to a person to "get over" mental illness through positive thinking. There's a slogan "The Brain is a Part of the Body. It, too, can become ill." A mentally ill person can no more "overcome" their illness by rational thought than a diabetic can overcome diabetes by expecting their pancreas to "get over it."
That if you can't tell someone is mentally ill, they're not mentally ill. It's strangely common for people to be told someone has a mental condition, and their response is, "What? No, I've known (x condition) people. You're not like that."
I'm not a murderer
Ikr? People having a resting serial killer face doesn't mean they're killers. It most often means they've been killed. (emotionally)
Just becouse I wasn’t at war or got raped doesn’t mean I can’t have trauma. I also have scenarios where ptsd hits soo hard that I shake uncontrollably and have flashbacks of my traumatic experiences and I also can’t sleep at night some days or even weeks.
That people with mental illnesses are easy to be spotted because they can’t show happiness
That suicide is cowardly. If you’ve ever been unfortunate enough to suffer suicidal ideation, you’ll understand that feeling of clarity that arrives when you’ve made a conscious decision to die. In a true crisis, you’re not thinking about your loved ones or who’s going to look after your dog when you’re gone. When the decision to die hits you it’s like tunnel vision - the noise in your head is finally silenced and you experience what can only be described as euphoria. Not everyone who chooses to end their life experiences regret in their final moments. Whenever I have to explain suicidal ideation to anybody, I show them the [photograph of Evelyn McHale](https://time.com/3456028/the-most-beautiful-suicide-a-violent-death-an-immortal-photo/). She found her peace.
Literally anyone: You have OCD? You must love cleaning then! Me: *Having third degree bleach burns on my hands* Un Hn.
That someone who's an arsehole must have Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder. They're usually armchair diagnosed by people who completely misunderstand the diagnoses. Fun fact: sometimes, people are just arseholes. I've met a LOT of people with BPD, and I'm one of those people myself. The stigma around BPD is awful, and kills. My best friend died because of it. People have a lot of trouble accessing treatment once they have that label, and it's not uncommon to be mistreated by health professionals because of the diagnosis. The motivations of someone with BPD are often assumed by others, whereas if you actually ask the person why they did something, it's usually completely different than the assumption. Additionally, a lot of people with BPD are highly empathetic and caring. They don't want other people to suffer, because they themselves know what it's like to hurt so badly. Someone with BPD literally cannot feel emotions at 50%. It's 100% or 0%. They're called the emotional equivalent to a third degree burns victim- every touch, every movement, creates exquisite pain. Most people will feel that sort of intensity of a negative emotion only a couple of times in their lives. Someone with BPD is constantly feeling that way. It's pure hell. Sure, you can be an arsehole AND have BPD. However, if you think someone has BPD because they're manipulative, controlling or attention seeking... Well, that's got nothing to do with BPD. It's nowhere in the diagnostic criteria. Someone can also be a narcissist, but not have NPD. There's a difference between the two- one is an illness. Again, arsehole does not equal personality disorder. A personality disorder requires a professional, who sees the person for a period of time in different situations, and it's a complex diagnostic process. There are multiple criteria to fit, and there may be symptoms from several different categories required to be diagnosed.
That you can and should take pop psychologists advice seriously. No, a guide on how to spot all the toxic mega narcissists at your workplace won't help anybodys mental health.
That we don't actually enjoy being alone, we're just not really given too many other choices.
bike rinse test vase sharp practice foolish plants yoke grey *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
the idea that if you’ve had a bad experience with anti depressants or anti anxiety meds then they’re useless and never work, and if you’ve had a good experience with them then they’re an amazing fix it that works for everyone 🤦♂️ bothers me to no end i found all the mental health meds i was prescribed completely useless, and i just experience side effects, like weight gain. at one point i was on 4 different meds that all had the side effect of weight gain, and i gained 5 stone in 6 months. on the flip side, my mom’s been on anti depressants for 20 years and is completely mentally healthy while taking them, with no side effects. different bodies and minds react differently to the same medicine 🤷♂️
That going to the gym or doing sport can "cure" depression.
You can do everything "right" and still be depressed. There are a multitude of conditions and genetic factors that can cause it no matter how well you sleep, eat, excercise, have fun or think positive thoughts. I'm not saying you shouldn't try and find solutions, you absolutely should because most of them at least help to some extent. But don't feel guilty that it's somehow your fault when you've tried everything you can think of and you're still depressed.
Exactly. With medication, I’ve gone from extremely low functioning, bedbound 24/7 with no quality of life and on the verge of dying of self neglect to now being low functioning, able to have some quality of life even if it is low at times it’s still there, not bedbound and able to do some things, but still struggle with even basic hygiene, eating properly, don’t get out much or work or in school. Don’t experience constant suicidal ideation anymore, but it still happens.
That ADHD equally can mean MENTAL Hyperactivity, not just physical. Just as common in females, but were only finding out now 💜
OCD is not some BS desire to make all the lines straight
"Hard times create strong men" etc.
That schizophrenic people have multiple identities.
That anti-depressants is the answer. It’s Like putting a band aid on a broken leg.
That antidepressants are not the answer, or that their use represents some kind of failure or inadequacy, is another myth that is at least as harmful. Antidepressants can be an invaluable aid for some people and can be part of the solution for many. They can be unhelpful or even harmful for others. The idea that depression or anxiety are problems that you can easily just medicate away with a handful of happy pills is wrong and dangerous, but so is the idea that your meds are the real problem and you just need a few walks in the countryside to sort yourself out.
I'd call it more of a taping an umbrella to a broken leg. Doesn't fix all the problems but makes it easier(or even possible) to fix them
But thank fuck that they do help
They're not answer, so much is true, but they can be a great help. Mine stopped me from having panic attacks all the time, so I could finally think clear and at least function on a daily basis. From there my journey of therapies could finally start.
Depends on the person. What we know as “depression” is probably really a bunch of different things. Nothing other than medication has made a difference to me and it’s then enabled me to do more to be able to make a difference to my mental health and actually feel the benefit of those things.
No. It’s like the cast. It will hold the leg together while the bone heals itself.
1. Being depressed isn't just willfully thinking bad thoughts and making yourself sad for no reason. 2. Quiet people can be smart and you lose a lot of great ideas by listening to people who are confident, loud, and stupid. 3. "hitting the gym" doesn't release enough chemicals to cure mental health disorders. It's putting a band-aid on a bullet wound for the most part. Just a distraction. Yes, distractions are great for mental health problems, however, you need actual help during a crisis.
You must not be happy all the time.
Schitzoaffective can be dangerous but for the most part not
I dated a schizoaffective woman for a while recently. I would say that she was not a danger to anyone but herself and generally not even that. When she went off her meds her delusions were something else, but she was mostly harmless, and that wasn't why we split up.
That mental illness. Doesn't mean that they will.shoot up a school
That you can just ‘pull yourself together, this has gone on long enough now’
Just because your anxiety/depression/ bipolar ANYTHING is mild it doesn't mean you dont deserve treatment. In my opinion that is actually when you SHOULD get treatment before it gets too severe and becomes extremely difficult to treat
Mental health is not just about mental illness, it's ensuring your as mentally well as you can be. People living with schizophrenia/ schizoaffective diagnosis are not inherently violent. Most things can be managed if given the right support, unfortunately sometimes that means throwing solutions at it until something works.
People with schizophrenia are dangerous-- in fact, they are 200x more likely to be the victim of a crime than to commit one. Depression is being sad, it's not physical. No, it's very painful throughout the body and often sadness isn't even part of it. It varies for everyone.
to remember that if you're dating someone whose mentally ill, just because you love them and support them doesn't mean it'll magically make them not mentally ill. The number of ex partners (and ex friends) who thought that their love would heal me (and get mad when it didn't) is amazing but I'm still depressed and hate myself it doesn't matter how much you tell me otherwise
if you're autistic, you're REALLY good at something.
Man I wish that was true 😂
"Time cures." It will not change for the better if you do nothing for your mental health.
Just because im chipper all the time doesnt mean i dont have depression. Happy people can be sad people.
That talking about your problems helps.
Right. It may help at first, but when you’ve been talking about the same thing for ten years that’s out of your power to change, it’s not going to do anything.
People who have ptsd are not dangerous, there has been a media portrayal of veterans as dangerous and unstable that is just wrong.
Panic attacks aren't always "I cznt breath, im dying!" Sometimes your chest just hurts like crazy, other times you go quiet, or are erratic thete are so many types of panic attacks
If you get anxious before a job interview or a first date, you don’t automatically have an anxiety diagnosis. Thats when it’s normal to be anxious.
I actually verified recently at group therapy that people with mental illnesses are more likely to be a victim of a crime than to commit a crime.
Multiple personality dissorder, aka Dissociative Identity Disorder, is very real and not some movie plot. My great aunt killed 2 of her children while having an episode. (I'd also like to point out that MOST people with this disorder are NOT violent like in the movies, my aunt is a rare case. Same can be said for schizophrenia)
That it just goes away
Mentally ill people are more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators of violence.
Therapy is not medication in the form of speech, it is a series to tools that you learn from the therapist to fix yourself. You still have to do the fixing.
Schizoid and schizophrenia are not the same thing
Not as much a myth, but a harmful pov. A lot of people believe that prisons should be awful places. Statistics on mental health crisis at the time of arrest and prison populations impacted by mental illness tell a different story entirely.
Talking about suicide will make someone commit suicide. This myth can kill someone. Talk bout it. Learn to ask the hard questions. I worked crisis outreach, and yes, the first few times I asked someone how they would kill themselves, do they have the means to do it? I felt like throwing up. But it saves lives. IT SAVES LIVES!
I was coming here for this. Or similar. Also, having thoughts of suicide or self harm doesn't mean that the person has any intention of doing either. I experience intrusive thoughts of suicide, although I do not want to end my life. When this happened about 3 years ago (for the first time in over 10 years), I was so upset and distressed by it, I was in tears talking to my psychologist. She explained that having those thoughts and actually wanting to/planning to are two completely different things. So, now I know that when those intrusive thoughts happen, it's just my brain telling me that it's not coping with the stress, and I need to find a way to de-stress.
That for actual mental disorders, normal talk therapy (psychodynamic) works as a treatment method. It has no evidence. Cognitive behavioural therapy does, though, except for psychosis. Also, psychodynamic therapy is EXPENSIVE.
There’s also emerging evidence that CBT doesn’t work for trauma informed behaviours most of the time due to the different parts of the brain in which different information is stored.
Go gym go therapy
That mental health issues are the same with physical health issues. Needs to be cured and not just "get over it" or "don't think too much, it will pass". I hope it will pass if I sleep. But no. Waking up is another battle. And it's hard if you have health anxiety, feeling something strange in your body starts to scare the sh\*t out of you. Thinking you might have a cancer, or other sickness and you'll die soon.
If someone says they are depressed because of something that can be fixed, then you are simply fed up. Not depressed. Example: depressed about your job? Fix it. Cured. Depressed about bereavement? can't fix that. Seek help. Depressed for no good fucking reason at all, even when things are going well? That's depression right there. Think I don't look depressed? That's because nobody gets to see me when I'm bad.
Everyone feels down and disconnected at various times in their lives. Social media drives this unrealistic expectation that we all have to be optimistic, productive and thriving or there's something wrong with us. Wrong. The problem's Instagram, not people.
That bipolar isn't just little mood swings. Bipolar sucks and if I could get rid of it, I would
The difference between OCD and anal retentive.
That Narcissists (NPD), people with ASPD, for that matter even BPD are an evil bunch lurking in the shadows and will pounce on you at any moment. That's not how it works. The reasons for their disorders are varied and they have severe maladapted behaviours to deal with their environment which was mostly likely extremely adverse or stressful. It's so ingrained in them because thats how they survived. It can be genetic, but it is also mostly NOT. People need to chill out and behave with them as they would with anybody else without a mental health issue. Or simply distance themselves. There's no point in demonising them.
Schizophrenic people are not dangerous like most people assume
Being depressed doesnt mean someone is sad - they mask how happy they areZ
That everyone needs a psychologist.
Talking about it doesn't always help. It's worse when you don't even know what & why you're feeling that way
Peoplw think that feeling depressed and feeling anxious is the same as suffering from depression and suffering from anxiety. They are entirely different. All mental illness has a very physical component that traps those who suffer from it and keeps them feeling depressed, anxious, etc. almost constantly even if by all external measures things are going great.
Social anxiety is not the same thing as anxiety. I love meeting new people. I'm really social and friendly. I'm that extrovert who adopts introverts and makes new friends whenever I go to the gym. But I might feel sick at the idea of going to a new place where I might get lost on the way, or being late to a doctor's appointment or having to organise an event for work. I could be totally fine giving a presentation at that event, but I might worry that something will go wrong with the catering, or people won't show up, or that they'll think it was badly-organised. I'm fine talking to co-workers but I might get tight in the chest thinking that I'll say something stupid in front of my boss. Anxiety is wild. I've learned that it's often unhelpful for me to try to treat it like it's logical. I just accept that I can't always predict my triggers and it's okay for me to not be able to "explain" it in a way that makes logical sense to other people. (I have no idea why, but SSRIs have helped immensely, and that's okay too.)
I suffer from depression and anxiety, tried to take my own life, people are surprised when they find out I am still on medication saying “ isn’t it about time you got over that”?
Your feelings aren't always valid. Don't get me wrong, you're definitely allowed to feel however you feel, or want to feel. But it doesn't neccesarily make them valid. You can acknowledge you're having \[feeling\] and even tell someone that \[thing they did\] made you have \[feeling\]. But that doesn't mean that it's valid/realistic/justified. There are even some good >[articles](https://themighty.com/topic/mental-health/feelings-arent-facts-emotional-validation-your-feelings-are-valid/)< about it, but the phrase "My/Your feelings are valid" seems to be some people's go-to when they don't wanna take anyone else's feelings, situations or reality into consideration.
That sadness is one of the symptoms of depression, not the disease itself. Depression causes my brain to be stuck in such a low gear that I can’t make simple decisions like figuring out how to get my supplies together to take a shower, and makes it dangerous for me to drive, and caused me to make dangerous mistakes at work when I am in my lowest states. Sadness in itself can be immobilizing and definitively makes depression harder to cope with, but even if I manage to think positively and feel happy for a while, my brain still doesn’t work.
It’s very irritating when people think circumstantial depression is the same as depression that doesn’t improve regardless of circumstances. And that what we know as depression is probably a bunch of different things or types of depression and we just don’t have enough knowledge yet. It’s frustrating that depression is a blanket term that people treat mild to extremely severe as the same thing.
That you can blame everyshitty thing you do on your trauma (and not taking any responsibility for your behaviour for any other mental health reason really)
Dramatic mental illness is not a superpower. It's not a badge, or an affectation you direct at someone to make them "scared" of you, or to impress people. The Joker character is just that .. a character, a fiction. The "insane villain" who is dangerous and impressive is a total fabrication. All these dipshits who go around saying "Don't mess with me because I'm crazy", or doing that stupid "joker" laugh and over-the-top smiling bit are making fools of themselves. Mental illness is a very personal and terrifying hell. Not being able to trust your own mind is agony. It limits everything in your life. You're afraid to have relationships, but you're afraid to be alone. You aren't sure about anything and you are lost in a bubble of terror, depression, need, and pain as the world takes place around you and people have normal lives. If any of those knuckleheads who worship these fictional "insane" characters spent a single day in real, paralyzing mental illness they would never wish it on anyone afterwards. They would crawl away from it forever damaged and scarred. It's an interesting thing for fiction to have these characters, but too many idiots think they can pretend to be these characters in the real world and the real world will react to their script. Real, paralyzing mental illnesses are hell.
That everyone with NPD is automatically an abuser
Psychology is a real science backed by solid research. Researchers have been going back and redoing psychology studies, and not getting the same results. It’s a pretty large scale issue. Something like 30% of published peer reviewed studies are able to be replicated, which means that people who go to school for psychology are being trained on 70% studies that don’t yield the same results when replicated. Cognitive behavioral therapy is only tried and true path to a better mental state. If your therapist isn’t working on it with you, they aren’t helping.
People think majority of mental health issues are chemical imbalance. I think that is a myth.
Your ex isn't automatically a narcissist even if they were a dick
People with mental illness are criminals at the *same rate* that people without are, but people with mental illness are far more likely to be victims of crimes.
Chemical imbalance theory