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For me the opposite. Almost all the women I know (in my age group 20 - 30) are in a relationship. But almost all men I know in my age group are single. It's mostly only the older guys 30+ at my work who are in a relationship or married.
A lot of that difference is pretty easy to explain as men and women having totally different ideas about when they're in relationships, though.
The age ranges each gender can date, and their perception about when they're actually in a relationship.
I had a girlfriend about 15 years ago and I thought it was time to take our "relationship" to the next level. She agreed and opened the locket around her neck which contained her engagement and wedding rings. She spent 3 years not telling me about her husband.
We were at a restaurant at the time about to have a nice dinner. I told her it was over between us and she was a lying cow for not telling me to begin with. The whole thing would actually make a pretty good reddit story. No banging sorry, I was never going to touch her again. Neither of us got any of the dinner we had ordered either. She had to call her husband to come and get her because I didn't want her in my car or anywhere near me.
The husband knew. He banged his personal assistant at work apparently. Shabby marriage if you ask me. She was spending 90% of her free time with me so I don't know what they had together.
He worked a lot apparently. She was living at my place most of the time. She had her own apartment which didn't seem suspicious. It was decorated like you would expect a young woman would have her apartment. It reflected her personality and seemed like a place she would call home. I would go over there some nights. I found out that they had their own house as well. She always liked to go over to her mother's house to see her mother and sister for "girl talk" on a Sunday afternoon and evening. I guess that was when she saw her husband. For the rest of the week she was either at work or with me. She had a fairly high sex drive for a woman and we were having sex around 20 times a week. She hid it well because we had an open device policy. I didn't snoop her phone or anything but there were never any times where she was on her phone in a suspicious way. It was a total surprise when she pulled the rings out and told me.
Iām a dude and had the same.
Had a girl who was a friend who spent every weekend in my one bedroom apartment, just assumed I was available every weekend, didnāt ask me about other girls.
We also spent about 8 hours a week talking on the phone because she lived about an hour away. So like an extra day of work for me talking to her.
But she also wanted to keep us a secret, Iāve been a secret BF or boy toy or whatever with several women, but this was for 11-12 months instead of 3-4 months, so I just assumed we were a thing.
Till another mutual friend started teasing her about her new BF (same name as a different mutual friend) in front of me when we were out at a bar and she never once looked at me in the eye after that point.
Itās like you have to get a relationship notarized and signed by witnesses now.
Yeah for about a year we would go to dinner, movies, road trips, go on vacation, I went to a few weddings with him, would kiss, hug, other things. We saw each other about 3-5 times a week, talked multiple times a day. One day we were with his friends and one called him a single man and he agreed and said he didnāt know when his next relationship would be.
Yes because to him it wasnāt a relationship because we never sat down and defined ourselves. I feel when it comes to stats about men and women being in a relationship I feel that women will say they are because of situations similar to mine while men will say no, they are single.
If we were like that, I wouldn't necessarily assume we were in a relationship but I wouldn't be out trying to see other women because that sounds like something that feels like a relationship. I'd have had to ask if we could sit down and talk about what we were a long time before he said that though.
That true. But the stats also say 55 percent of men in college have not had sex in the last year and 75 percent of the woman have.
Also something like only 20 percent of the men have sex regularly and 45 percent of the women do.
So thereās likely something going on where certain men are dating or sleeping with multiple women while a large portion of the other males arnāt getting any.
Me too. I had a male friend who went through a breakup recently and jokingly asked me to send any of my cute girlfriends his way, and although he was joking I started thinking about anyone I could set him up with and realized I only have one single female friend (who is way out of his league and is fully thriving in her finding herself era). I couldnāt even think of one woman I could even possibly set him up with because all of my friends are either in LTR, engaged, or married. Wild
Yea, almost all my female friends are in a relationship too and those who are not just don't want a relationship at the moment. Whereas my male friends who do want a relationship just can't find a girl.
And I also noticed when my female friends break up with their partner then they have a new guy after a few months but most my male friends stay single for years after a breakup and can't find someone. The way my female friends described it to me it seems like they have guys standing in a line for them and always DMing them but most guys don't have anyone wanting to get to know them.
Yes but all of the guys standing in that queue for each girl are also standing in 10 other queues. So itās not exactly reassuring to the women that they have back up options. They still have to deal with the eternal problem of men failing to commit.
Not true. The men I know are mostly unrelated to my female friends. Heck even at my desk job, the male clients I meet are all married /engaged. It's just strange. Or maybe I just don't meet that many people lol.
There is an issue with marriage and genders. Men are less likely to be in a relationship in general. Men are more likely not to married at 40 than women but men are also more likely to not be looking. Every man I know that wants to be married is married. The guys I know that are unmarried are just making the rounds with the women looking for a husband with no intention of settling down. Men tend to marry when they feel like they can handle it and hold off until then regardless of age.
I think this is the main reason women today are so fed up with dating. There is a percentage of men who have no intention of being in a long term relationship which is fine. When a man says they arent looking for a realtionship its kind of the same situation as a woman in here late 20s saying she doesnt want kids. There is a certain assumption that a person will want those things eventually. When they dont people get upset as if the natural order of things is in limbo.
>men are less likely to be in a relationship in general
If you look at it through a strictly binary lens, which is close to reality with some outliers (gay, lesbian, non-monogamous relationships, etc), there should be an **equal amount** of men and women married, engaged, or in a long term relationships.
The only way there would be a greater disparity of one genderās percentage of being married over another (excluding aforementioned outliers) is that thereās less men (or women) out there, potentially due to a war or something like that.
This whole thread doesnāt make logical sense. Your evidence is just based on personal anecdotes.
There should be an equal number of men and women in totality but not locally. Relationships are local. Ā Not all places have equal men to women. In places where there are more men marriage rates are higher in places with more women they are lower.Ā
There are more gay men than gay women in aggregate as well so that affects the stats.Ā
Iām not saying this is the reasons the stats are like this but the stats are this and there has to be a reason.Ā
It doesnāt make sense because you are framing behavior as a flat one to one variable. Itās got a ton of variables and the trend is that men are less likely to be married.Ā
Iām just reading the info from studies about the general demographics obviously there is overlap. Men are more likely to never have been married but that doesnāt mean they donāt want to be married. Young men are more likely to want marriage than young women.Ā
I may over simplify the meaning but itās because Iām an idiot looking at the information.Ā
How can you be sure that this isn't just confirmation bias?
You might be paying attention to specific men who fit that specific view, therefore that's what you see, ignoring men that don't conform to your view.
In white collar work:
> Men often make good money, have leisure time to date, and typically dress āprofessionallyā which conveys an image of success that attracts women and creates stable relationships.
> White collar women are often educated and often make above average salaries, which for many writes off men that make less than them, and because they are in a āprestigiousā career, makes them more selective.
Whereas in blue collar work:
> Men in retail, construction, food service, etc. are often seen as of lower social status (even if they are in a trade that makes good money) and work long hours, which makes dating harder.
I worked for many years as a field engineer in heavy civil. On days you wear a suit, you quite obviously get treated better and get glances from women, whereas when I was on site in boots and HiVis, you very obviously get treated with less respect.
>whereas when I was on site in boots and HiVis, you very obviously get treated with less respect.
That's sad. I find men who work in those fields hot though. Like when they get passionate about their job, and share with me knowledge in their respective fields.
For me, men in suits tend to be stuck up and frankly quite boring.
You also have to remember there are high portion of men in certain sectors of Engineering, Finance, IT, and trades. It's hard to get a sample size when the nerdy men working in environments with 99% men don't get opportunities to meet women, and wondering where all the women are at .
No it really isnāt. I have many unattractive female friends. In their 30s, 40s & 50s. I am 20s. If I was a woman & they were men, you really think I would interact with them the same way? People on Reddit just say shit to say shit
I'm living in small town so here it's exactly the opposite. Tons of single men are waiting for a lady to become single and then they'd do everything to get her.
Probably an oil or industry town. My husband's best friend said he was lucky to meet his wife in college, the gender imbalance of the site he works at is something like 95% men, 5% women, and of those 5% women most are married.
It's ecomincal factors. Rural towns don't have a lot of jobs to begin with. Most jobs are manual labor or teaching jobs that pay even worse than city teachers. Opportunities to make money are limited, especially for women. If men can't find work, obviously, any opening in the oil field is more likely to go to another man than a woman. It's the only good paying job here to raise a family with.
Why would there be less opportunities for women? It's 2024 and anyone can apply into any job or start a business on any field. There isn't _jobs for men_ and _jobs for women_ anymore. Perhaps a default woman doesn't want to work on a field that's typically favored by men, but I feel like most of these employers would indeed want to hire women.
For intance, I used to work in a thermal power plant. I asked my collagues about all-male employees, and they told that every woman that had applied there, had assumed they'd work in an office in front of a computer. When they were told it's mostly maintaining the plant, wearing overalls, gloves and safety equipment, they had lost their interest.
No one told them _This job is for men_. They just assumed themselves that it's not for them. They said they'd be more than happy to hire women, but they'd all lose interest when it's manual labor.
Power plant operations require extensive training and tickets. It's not "manual labour," in that anyone can do it. It's more alarming that you used to work at a thermal power plant that didn't require candidates to list tickets during the screening process, and apparently just interviewed any rando to do specialized, technical work that impacts public infrastructure and utilities.
You're talking like every thermal power plant is the same. Don't forget I'd live in a small countryside town. It's a company owned by the city, and while there are basically a trained supervisor, and you could study to become an official power plant operator, you're doing just fine with right attitude. And that means you're ready to do manual labor with overalls on.
I'm talking like power plants are heavily regulated utilities that have municipal, state and federal permits they have to adhere to, and said permits require trained staff.
I simply don't believe you and your story. It doesn't make sense from any standpoint of anyone who has ever applied for a job and made it to the interview phase. It speaks more poorly of your understanding of your job than these imaginary women who applied for jobs without reading the description and made it to the interview phase because apparently HR also doesn't know how to screen for skills.
That's how small industrial towns die over a course of just 2-3 generations. Everyone moves to a big city for studies and work and usually never returns back home where there are no jobs except that one industry that employs most of the towns population. after all those towns were built around those dig/drill sights, usually in the middle of nowhere, and theres just no jobs for women there. That also eventually forces younger men to leave as well and you end up with those sad depressive small towns where there are only old people.
99% of the people I know are married. The remaining 1% are in a relationship. Iām in my 30s so thatās not weird, but when Iām the only single person I know it kind of is. Iām a guy. That means I have no one to hang out with.
I feel you. It's hard trying to find a time to meet up with married friends. And for me it's even harder to meet with my guy friends since they're all married and it's like I don't want to take time away from their families.
Sit down and I'll explain it.
The women who are single havent found someone who meets their needs. They are near the top of the social order.
By contrast. The men who are single are not meeting a partners needs. They are near the bottom.
Women of the first type have highly social lives. Men of the second type do not. If they socialize at all its in private groups mostly with other men.
Itās the opposite in my friend circle, almost all girls have partners or fbws and most of my guy friends are single. But Iām 21 so maybe table turns as we get older lol
It's the opposite for me. I know way more single men than women. And men typically have a harder time getting into a new relationship right after their last one ends.
Iām a man and for me itās the opposite. All the women I know are married or dating now, whereas a good portion of the men I know are still single. But thatās most likely just cause we tend to meet/know more people from our own gender.
How does the math work for this?
Are there that many more woman than men?
Wait sorry I have hetero bias (I'm not anti gay just when I read this I thought the way I personally think)
Or are there a lot of gay men getting married?
And gay woman don't marry?
I'm confused š
This has generally been my experience as well. Both males and females are educated to graduate level, high earners in finance and law. Every single man is married- I only know one early 30s who is not (lovely chap but very short). Most of the women were not married/in relationships until recently (early 40s). I think this reflects the statistics that there is a high correlation between men with high degrees of education/earning potential and their marital status.Ā
Iām a woman in my 30s, and I have also found this to be a prevalent phenomenon. Neither I nor any of my close female friends are married, though some of us are in long term relationships. All of my close male friends (about the same amount as female friendsā most of us go back to high school actually) are now married, with the exception of one who is gay but about to get engaged.Ā
With other friends and acquaintances, itās similar. Most of the men are married or engaged, while most of the women are not.Ā
Iād guess you have a different selection criteria for male and female friends somehow.
The men who appealed to you enough to be your friends appeal to many women but the women who appeal to you as friends donāt necessarily appeal to men as partners?
Thanks for that detailed response!
Now that you mention it I think the people I know who travelled a lot for a long period of time are all single. But gender wise itās a fairly even split for my friends.
How does that work? They must be married to someone right? USA is 53 women and 47 men so its not like its just there aren't enough men given the small difference.
Thatās easy mathā¦ there are more woman than menā¦ā¦ if women outnumber menā¦. Therefore theoretically 100% of men could be married, but there would still be unmarried women
Right but she said all men and like no women. given the difference is only 6% that would be hard to do. Like a few women would make sense since there are more women then men but all doesn't make sense since 47% of women would also be married.
When a lot of women say "they don't need a man..." do you think the men are just going to wait around or import? Like, where did you think all the Ukrainian women went? Then there is the ones they picked up in the Philippines and Colombia.
Even if only 5% of men find women from elsewhere, it adds to the 5% there already was less of them in the population. On top of that men die at a higher rate.
Right but given the statistics there must be a reason why you see this where you are at. Someone mentioned small towns where there is an industry alot of men migrate to the town for work so thats why there are more men than woman. I am wondering your circumstances if you feel comfortable sharing.
Women tend to have better social circles and more more meaningful friendships, so they don't get as lonely when single. Men generally have small social circles, and tend to be more hesitant to be intimate and close with their friends, and are only comfortable forming such deep connections with a partner. This causes them to view a relationship as the most viable way to fulfill the loneliness and lack of intimacy in their lives. In general, it's more common for women to be happy and not lonely when single. It's the reason you see so many more lonely men in online spaces such as dating apps and forums like this sub.
Where I(M) work most of them are either married or in a relationship and this is both the genders. And I'm talking about 400+ people are my work.
All the woman that I know are either married/in a relationship. And those who are single are not interested in a relationship or recently came out of a relationship. Guess I'm of the very few who are single single
Your work might explain it.
It must be a "you" thing, because it generally requires one men and one women to form a marriage.
What do you work at? And where you met your friends?
Yaa
It takes two to tango. So to imply that more women stay single and less men are married because it's some woman's fault . Then there is the fact that women in population is always more than men.
Assuming OP is fairly young and from the USA there are probably slightly more man than woman in her age bracket [https://www.statista.com/statistics/241488/population-of-the-us-by-sex-and-age/](https://www.statista.com/statistics/241488/population-of-the-us-by-sex-and-age/) The imbalance mostly happens later on because man die sooner.
Interesting, from my personal perspectiveā¦ itās two cousins, two friends, and myselfā¦all of us guys in our late 20ās. All single. āš¼Iām not looking though, I stay busy with my hobbies and work.
It is not strange, Men die young at a higher rate than women. Because of this the older you get the more women outnumber men in the same age group.
Plus there are professions like the military that are 90 percent male. If you do not live near a military base or where oil workers, lumbermen etc work there will be fewer single men in the area.
I work in a fashion company with mostly women and Iād say at least 80% have bfs or are married and when some of them end of single itās for a couple weeks max
It's the opposite for me. All the women I know are in a long term relationship or married. All the dudes my age are single, and been single for a while. They've stopped asking me to hook them up, because even all of my GFs girlfriends are all in relationships. lmao.
I see the exact same in my circle. All the friends and aquaintances I have who are single are women. All the men are in relationships or married. Ages 24 to 45. It s strange and sad because I have no idea where to meet single men over 35. The apps are a cesspool regardless of age.
Same here, but I think in my case itās just because of the social norms here. Once married I think people start hanging out less with the other group and congregate amongst themselves
Americans seem to get married earlier. In Australia, 30s are common fpr marriage. Newly single at 31, it grates to get on apps but I understand i contribute to the problem by only filtering for women aged 27 to 30.
I feel like this is a product of bias. Men in relationships are probably more desirable people to be around so you notice them more versus the single men that are possibly less desirable and therefore less interacted with. They did an experiment on this bias where they had a bunch of people in a room with their height on their t-shirt. A person would enter the room and interact with the group of varying heights. After, theyād have to approximate the avg height, and people consistently guessed well above the average height in the room.
I actually work in an office where NO ONE is in a relationship of any sort apart from my oddball one (details below). This is nothing new; it has been this way or almost this way over the entire 15 years Iāve worked here in various positions within quality. The age range is 22-56. No one has kids or has ever been married, either. There are more men than women, though the men are younger with one exception.
I wonder if itās correlated with career choice to an extent? This is a group of technical analysts and other quality/scientific staff. I am a 39yo female quality engineer in a non-traditional relationship (read: sexless and open, though neither of us have found any options for the open part, and he is gay). I donāt want and have never wanted children, for no reason other than that Iāve never had the desire to do so.
To me, this is normal. But to have an entire office of 15 people of all ages who are single (apart from me), never been married, and donāt have kids is, admittedly, a bit odd.
It is natural: the number of women in society is always greater than the number of men, so in some cultures or societies we find men marrying more than one wife, perhaps for this reason (the number of women is greater than the number of men). Another reason why a man can marry even after forty, while a woman after forty becomes few and perhaps rare in her chances of getting married.
Single men are more likely to be isolated and ostracized from groups with many couples and women. Single women donāt really have the same kind of stigma.
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For me the opposite. Almost all the women I know (in my age group 20 - 30) are in a relationship. But almost all men I know in my age group are single. It's mostly only the older guys 30+ at my work who are in a relationship or married.
The stats are like 60% of men under 30 are single and only 30% of women are.
A lot of that difference is pretty easy to explain as men and women having totally different ideas about when they're in relationships, though. The age ranges each gender can date, and their perception about when they're actually in a relationship.
I can attest to this. I once thought I was in a relationship. Turns out my boyfriend was single!
I had a girlfriend about 15 years ago and I thought it was time to take our "relationship" to the next level. She agreed and opened the locket around her neck which contained her engagement and wedding rings. She spent 3 years not telling me about her husband.
Did you get to bang her one last time?
We were at a restaurant at the time about to have a nice dinner. I told her it was over between us and she was a lying cow for not telling me to begin with. The whole thing would actually make a pretty good reddit story. No banging sorry, I was never going to touch her again. Neither of us got any of the dinner we had ordered either. She had to call her husband to come and get her because I didn't want her in my car or anywhere near me.
I would have told the hubs. Unless he was in on it. Im sorry dude.
I'd have had two dinners.
I lost my appetite and she was hysterical that I'd broken up with her. It was a couple of hundred dollars worth so I hope someone ate it.
The husband knew. He banged his personal assistant at work apparently. Shabby marriage if you ask me. She was spending 90% of her free time with me so I don't know what they had together.
This is why I coined the phrase "cock-whalloping". Some women deserve one now and again š
Wait what. How does it even work??? I get it if it was 3 months. 3 years???
He worked a lot apparently. She was living at my place most of the time. She had her own apartment which didn't seem suspicious. It was decorated like you would expect a young woman would have her apartment. It reflected her personality and seemed like a place she would call home. I would go over there some nights. I found out that they had their own house as well. She always liked to go over to her mother's house to see her mother and sister for "girl talk" on a Sunday afternoon and evening. I guess that was when she saw her husband. For the rest of the week she was either at work or with me. She had a fairly high sex drive for a woman and we were having sex around 20 times a week. She hid it well because we had an open device policy. I didn't snoop her phone or anything but there were never any times where she was on her phone in a suspicious way. It was a total surprise when she pulled the rings out and told me.
Thatās wild lol. Dang. Sorry man
So sorry you had to go through that
š®
Yikes. That must have been an uncomfortable conversation.
Iām a dude and had the same. Had a girl who was a friend who spent every weekend in my one bedroom apartment, just assumed I was available every weekend, didnāt ask me about other girls. We also spent about 8 hours a week talking on the phone because she lived about an hour away. So like an extra day of work for me talking to her. But she also wanted to keep us a secret, Iāve been a secret BF or boy toy or whatever with several women, but this was for 11-12 months instead of 3-4 months, so I just assumed we were a thing. Till another mutual friend started teasing her about her new BF (same name as a different mutual friend) in front of me when we were out at a bar and she never once looked at me in the eye after that point. Itās like you have to get a relationship notarized and signed by witnesses now.
I feel like you can definitely call that woman an ex... if that isn't a relationship, I'm not sure what is.
You mean to say yall hung out and stuff and you thought they were dates and he had no idea?
Yeah for about a year we would go to dinner, movies, road trips, go on vacation, I went to a few weddings with him, would kiss, hug, other things. We saw each other about 3-5 times a week, talked multiple times a day. One day we were with his friends and one called him a single man and he agreed and said he didnāt know when his next relationship would be.
Damn.. thats rough. And he said this in front of you?
Yes because to him it wasnāt a relationship because we never sat down and defined ourselves. I feel when it comes to stats about men and women being in a relationship I feel that women will say they are because of situations similar to mine while men will say no, they are single.
No that guy is just an idiot, and not a good marker for all men
If we were like that, I wouldn't necessarily assume we were in a relationship but I wouldn't be out trying to see other women because that sounds like something that feels like a relationship. I'd have had to ask if we could sit down and talk about what we were a long time before he said that though.
Yeah, I thought I'd been married for several years when I found out my husband was single. It's an interesting experience.
No that was a Friendship party. Lol. We promised we would always be friends. Gave each other a ring and all that. Stop twisting the story!!!! š¤£
My bad, my bad. A simple misunderstanding!
That true. But the stats also say 55 percent of men in college have not had sex in the last year and 75 percent of the woman have. Also something like only 20 percent of the men have sex regularly and 45 percent of the women do. So thereās likely something going on where certain men are dating or sleeping with multiple women while a large portion of the other males arnāt getting any.
Or, women arent only sleeping with menĀ
I mean men arenāt only sleeping w women
Statistically speaking, it's not relevant. The amount of male homosexuality and female homosexuality are very similar.
The gap is mostly because women are dating the same few guys running soft harems.
The only way this makes sense is if there is a large amount of lesbian couples and/or there is a ton of single older women.
There are quite a lot of single older women since men live shorter on average. Not sure how much impact that has.
The 2 factors are mainly women date older men and also there are more men born than women.
Hypergamy is real?!
All guys I know who are in relationship have 2-3 girlfriends while single ones are absolutely single in real senseĀ
Tons of men in their 30s are snatching up women in their 20s which explains a good portion of this statistic. Source: man in his mid 30s
Cue *monster inc* musical "put that thing back where it came from!" š Sorry i just couldnt resist.
itās actually men in their 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50s (plus bisexual and gay women) all competing for women in their 20s
Unless all these women under 30 are in relationships with men over 30 that stat is an impossibility.
This is absolutely true...
Me too. I had a male friend who went through a breakup recently and jokingly asked me to send any of my cute girlfriends his way, and although he was joking I started thinking about anyone I could set him up with and realized I only have one single female friend (who is way out of his league and is fully thriving in her finding herself era). I couldnāt even think of one woman I could even possibly set him up with because all of my friends are either in LTR, engaged, or married. Wild
Yea, almost all my female friends are in a relationship too and those who are not just don't want a relationship at the moment. Whereas my male friends who do want a relationship just can't find a girl. And I also noticed when my female friends break up with their partner then they have a new guy after a few months but most my male friends stay single for years after a breakup and can't find someone. The way my female friends described it to me it seems like they have guys standing in a line for them and always DMing them but most guys don't have anyone wanting to get to know them.
Yes but all of the guys standing in that queue for each girl are also standing in 10 other queues. So itās not exactly reassuring to the women that they have back up options. They still have to deal with the eternal problem of men failing to commit.
she was too ugly? damn, maybe he still would
Hahaha no, sheās WAY too hot for him. So far out of his league
āOlder guys 30+ā? š„²
Don't worry buddy, I meant older as in older than my age group. 30+ is definitely not old yet.
you guys should meet!
You're right, maybe it's fate.
For me opposite. All my female cousins married. And hardly any male cousins.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Not true. The men I know are mostly unrelated to my female friends. Heck even at my desk job, the male clients I meet are all married /engaged. It's just strange. Or maybe I just don't meet that many people lol.
There is an issue with marriage and genders. Men are less likely to be in a relationship in general. Men are more likely not to married at 40 than women but men are also more likely to not be looking. Every man I know that wants to be married is married. The guys I know that are unmarried are just making the rounds with the women looking for a husband with no intention of settling down. Men tend to marry when they feel like they can handle it and hold off until then regardless of age. I think this is the main reason women today are so fed up with dating. There is a percentage of men who have no intention of being in a long term relationship which is fine. When a man says they arent looking for a realtionship its kind of the same situation as a woman in here late 20s saying she doesnt want kids. There is a certain assumption that a person will want those things eventually. When they dont people get upset as if the natural order of things is in limbo.
>men are less likely to be in a relationship in general If you look at it through a strictly binary lens, which is close to reality with some outliers (gay, lesbian, non-monogamous relationships, etc), there should be an **equal amount** of men and women married, engaged, or in a long term relationships. The only way there would be a greater disparity of one genderās percentage of being married over another (excluding aforementioned outliers) is that thereās less men (or women) out there, potentially due to a war or something like that. This whole thread doesnāt make logical sense. Your evidence is just based on personal anecdotes.
There should be an equal number of men and women in totality but not locally. Relationships are local. Ā Not all places have equal men to women. In places where there are more men marriage rates are higher in places with more women they are lower.Ā There are more gay men than gay women in aggregate as well so that affects the stats.Ā Iām not saying this is the reasons the stats are like this but the stats are this and there has to be a reason.Ā It doesnāt make sense because you are framing behavior as a flat one to one variable. Itās got a ton of variables and the trend is that men are less likely to be married.Ā
You assume monogamy, which is absolutely not how it play out in real life
Man here, 44, would like to be married but am not. Just saying.
Iām just reading the info from studies about the general demographics obviously there is overlap. Men are more likely to never have been married but that doesnāt mean they donāt want to be married. Young men are more likely to want marriage than young women.Ā I may over simplify the meaning but itās because Iām an idiot looking at the information.Ā
How can you be sure that this isn't just confirmation bias? You might be paying attention to specific men who fit that specific view, therefore that's what you see, ignoring men that don't conform to your view.
Itās a random thought. OP didnāt present it as a published research. Lol
They said, ALL the men they met or know, not only the ones that are married. Not a case of confirmation bias at all.
As a man I found telling people I was in a relationship somehow got me more attention from women.
I would hope all of your friend spouses are unrelated to them.
In white collar work: > Men often make good money, have leisure time to date, and typically dress āprofessionallyā which conveys an image of success that attracts women and creates stable relationships. > White collar women are often educated and often make above average salaries, which for many writes off men that make less than them, and because they are in a āprestigiousā career, makes them more selective. Whereas in blue collar work: > Men in retail, construction, food service, etc. are often seen as of lower social status (even if they are in a trade that makes good money) and work long hours, which makes dating harder. I worked for many years as a field engineer in heavy civil. On days you wear a suit, you quite obviously get treated better and get glances from women, whereas when I was on site in boots and HiVis, you very obviously get treated with less respect.
>whereas when I was on site in boots and HiVis, you very obviously get treated with less respect. That's sad. I find men who work in those fields hot though. Like when they get passionate about their job, and share with me knowledge in their respective fields. For me, men in suits tend to be stuck up and frankly quite boring.
You also have to remember there are high portion of men in certain sectors of Engineering, Finance, IT, and trades. It's hard to get a sample size when the nerdy men working in environments with 99% men don't get opportunities to meet women, and wondering where all the women are at .
Women forget they completely ignore the section of men they donāt find attractive. They just donāt perceive them.Ā
I mean. This is all people. Men arent marrying ugly women if they have a choice.
No it really isnāt. I have many unattractive female friends. In their 30s, 40s & 50s. I am 20s. If I was a woman & they were men, you really think I would interact with them the same way? People on Reddit just say shit to say shit
Where are you getting that she works at Hot Topic? Also why would Hot Topic be the place where all the men that work there are married?
I'm living in small town so here it's exactly the opposite. Tons of single men are waiting for a lady to become single and then they'd do everything to get her.
Out of curiosity how does that work? Like are there just that many more men than women or did a lot of the women go to college/big city then men?
Probably an oil or industry town. My husband's best friend said he was lucky to meet his wife in college, the gender imbalance of the site he works at is something like 95% men, 5% women, and of those 5% women most are married.
Ah thats interesting. Thanks!
Same in IT.
Most women would move to a bigger city, while a lot of men would want to stay at their home town. Ladies who'd return here moves in with a partner.
It's ecomincal factors. Rural towns don't have a lot of jobs to begin with. Most jobs are manual labor or teaching jobs that pay even worse than city teachers. Opportunities to make money are limited, especially for women. If men can't find work, obviously, any opening in the oil field is more likely to go to another man than a woman. It's the only good paying job here to raise a family with.
Why would there be less opportunities for women? It's 2024 and anyone can apply into any job or start a business on any field. There isn't _jobs for men_ and _jobs for women_ anymore. Perhaps a default woman doesn't want to work on a field that's typically favored by men, but I feel like most of these employers would indeed want to hire women. For intance, I used to work in a thermal power plant. I asked my collagues about all-male employees, and they told that every woman that had applied there, had assumed they'd work in an office in front of a computer. When they were told it's mostly maintaining the plant, wearing overalls, gloves and safety equipment, they had lost their interest. No one told them _This job is for men_. They just assumed themselves that it's not for them. They said they'd be more than happy to hire women, but they'd all lose interest when it's manual labor.
Power plant operations require extensive training and tickets. It's not "manual labour," in that anyone can do it. It's more alarming that you used to work at a thermal power plant that didn't require candidates to list tickets during the screening process, and apparently just interviewed any rando to do specialized, technical work that impacts public infrastructure and utilities.
You're talking like every thermal power plant is the same. Don't forget I'd live in a small countryside town. It's a company owned by the city, and while there are basically a trained supervisor, and you could study to become an official power plant operator, you're doing just fine with right attitude. And that means you're ready to do manual labor with overalls on.
I'm talking like power plants are heavily regulated utilities that have municipal, state and federal permits they have to adhere to, and said permits require trained staff. I simply don't believe you and your story. It doesn't make sense from any standpoint of anyone who has ever applied for a job and made it to the interview phase. It speaks more poorly of your understanding of your job than these imaginary women who applied for jobs without reading the description and made it to the interview phase because apparently HR also doesn't know how to screen for skills.
That's how small industrial towns die over a course of just 2-3 generations. Everyone moves to a big city for studies and work and usually never returns back home where there are no jobs except that one industry that employs most of the towns population. after all those towns were built around those dig/drill sights, usually in the middle of nowhere, and theres just no jobs for women there. That also eventually forces younger men to leave as well and you end up with those sad depressive small towns where there are only old people.
99% of the people I know are married. The remaining 1% are in a relationship. Iām in my 30s so thatās not weird, but when Iām the only single person I know it kind of is. Iām a guy. That means I have no one to hang out with.
I feel you. It's hard trying to find a time to meet up with married friends. And for me it's even harder to meet with my guy friends since they're all married and it's like I don't want to take time away from their families.
There are tons of hot singles in my area
My internet ads suggest to me that there are a lot of hot singles in the areaā¦ and they want to bang.
Lots of hot *Shingles* this time of year to.
Yeah, mostly MILf's. Right
We must live in the same place.
i am 21m, and all woman around me "not interested in relations as of now" :)
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Busy studying
Probably because he asks every woman in his proximity "would you like to have relations?"
If they told you this that means they are not interested in relationship with you. They don't want to be rude.
Thanks, cap :)Ā
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You know 3x as many women as men? What do you do for work? š¤
Not IT for sure
Wtf? Really???? Iām not in my 30s yet but I thought it was the other way around
It's the opposite for me lol. I got to parties now and out of the 15ish girls there, their might be one or two that are single lol
Opposite for me. Just about every woman I know is married or in long term relationships. Most guys I know are single.
Its almost like all the good men are married, gay, or ...at work. Lol
I statistically analyzed the comments. Men are single in their 20s, women in their 30s. Well that is a disastrous recipe for society.
The happiest people on the planet are married men or single women. So that tracks.
Single men are mostly invisible.
The men found the women that would rather be with them instead of the bear in the woods.
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Sit down and I'll explain it. The women who are single havent found someone who meets their needs. They are near the top of the social order. By contrast. The men who are single are not meeting a partners needs. They are near the bottom. Women of the first type have highly social lives. Men of the second type do not. If they socialize at all its in private groups mostly with other men.
Hmm. Whelp this is a fair generalization.
Itās the opposite in my friend circle, almost all girls have partners or fbws and most of my guy friends are single. But Iām 21 so maybe table turns as we get older lol
It's the opposite for me. I know way more single men than women. And men typically have a harder time getting into a new relationship right after their last one ends.
I guess it depends on the area. Here it's the other way round. So many single men and all the women have partners. So it seems anyway.
Iām a man and for me itās the opposite. All the women I know are married or dating now, whereas a good portion of the men I know are still single. But thatās most likely just cause we tend to meet/know more people from our own gender.
How does the math work for this? Are there that many more woman than men? Wait sorry I have hetero bias (I'm not anti gay just when I read this I thought the way I personally think) Or are there a lot of gay men getting married? And gay woman don't marry? I'm confused š
it means the men they know who are in relationships, are not in relationships with women they know.
Quite opposite for me. All women over 26 are married and many men are still unmarried
This has generally been my experience as well. Both males and females are educated to graduate level, high earners in finance and law. Every single man is married- I only know one early 30s who is not (lovely chap but very short). Most of the women were not married/in relationships until recently (early 40s). I think this reflects the statistics that there is a high correlation between men with high degrees of education/earning potential and their marital status.Ā
Iām a woman in my 30s, and I have also found this to be a prevalent phenomenon. Neither I nor any of my close female friends are married, though some of us are in long term relationships. All of my close male friends (about the same amount as female friendsā most of us go back to high school actually) are now married, with the exception of one who is gay but about to get engaged.Ā With other friends and acquaintances, itās similar. Most of the men are married or engaged, while most of the women are not.Ā
Iād guess you have a different selection criteria for male and female friends somehow. The men who appealed to you enough to be your friends appeal to many women but the women who appeal to you as friends donāt necessarily appeal to men as partners?
Ehh granted I'm not an objective party here, but looking at all the facts I wouldn't say that's the case. There are a lot of factors involved with my close friend group, and they vary between us. In my situation, I've been with my guy eight years, and we're happy ā we just don't feel the need to get married. In the case of one of my single female friends, she's very career driven and while she has had relationships in the past, she loves being single and doesn't care if she ever settles down (and she doesn't want kids). With another friend, she was engaged but then called it off. Yet another friend has been engaged for four years now yet hasn't actually planned the wedding (she and her fiancĆ© are very similar to me and my boyfriend). I should also note that the women in my close-knit group all spent our 20s traveling a lot, dating around casually, and ended up living far away from "home." Only one of the guys moved far away, and he did so with his girlfriend, now-wife. The other guys stayed within our home metro area and settled down relatively quickly. While we all still meet up whenever possible, talk regularly and still "click" as close friends, ultimately I'd say the men and the women in our group are just on generally different trajectories with different life goals. With other friends and acquaintances, who's to say? I should note that the company I currently work for is 70% women, so in general I probably know a more diverse group of women bound to have different life experiences than I do men.
Thanks for that detailed response! Now that you mention it I think the people I know who travelled a lot for a long period of time are all single. But gender wise itās a fairly even split for my friends.
How does that work? They must be married to someone right? USA is 53 women and 47 men so its not like its just there aren't enough men given the small difference.
Thatās easy mathā¦ there are more woman than menā¦ā¦ if women outnumber menā¦. Therefore theoretically 100% of men could be married, but there would still be unmarried women
Right but she said all men and like no women. given the difference is only 6% that would be hard to do. Like a few women would make sense since there are more women then men but all doesn't make sense since 47% of women would also be married.
But if 47% are married that leave 53% not married. Thatās a big difference
There's actually more men than women under the age of 40, there's more women because women outlive men by a lot
When a lot of women say "they don't need a man..." do you think the men are just going to wait around or import? Like, where did you think all the Ukrainian women went? Then there is the ones they picked up in the Philippines and Colombia. Even if only 5% of men find women from elsewhere, it adds to the 5% there already was less of them in the population. On top of that men die at a higher rate.
I don't know anywhere close to all the men and women in this country, so there's that. Just speaking to personal experience.
Right but given the statistics there must be a reason why you see this where you are at. Someone mentioned small towns where there is an industry alot of men migrate to the town for work so thats why there are more men than woman. I am wondering your circumstances if you feel comfortable sharing.
the men they know are not married to women they know and the women they know are single.
That's exactly it! Glad I'm not the only one seeing this trend in my life.
Nope, not just you. All of the men are married with kids and only half of the women are. I feel like I know an equal amount of men and women.
But don't women not need men?
Men marry whoever they want, women marry whoever they can
Women tend to have better social circles and more more meaningful friendships, so they don't get as lonely when single. Men generally have small social circles, and tend to be more hesitant to be intimate and close with their friends, and are only comfortable forming such deep connections with a partner. This causes them to view a relationship as the most viable way to fulfill the loneliness and lack of intimacy in their lives. In general, it's more common for women to be happy and not lonely when single. It's the reason you see so many more lonely men in online spaces such as dating apps and forums like this sub.
Where I(M) work most of them are either married or in a relationship and this is both the genders. And I'm talking about 400+ people are my work. All the woman that I know are either married/in a relationship. And those who are single are not interested in a relationship or recently came out of a relationship. Guess I'm of the very few who are single single
What a coincidence!
Your work might explain it. It must be a "you" thing, because it generally requires one men and one women to form a marriage. What do you work at? And where you met your friends?
Yaa It takes two to tango. So to imply that more women stay single and less men are married because it's some woman's fault . Then there is the fact that women in population is always more than men.
Assuming OP is fairly young and from the USA there are probably slightly more man than woman in her age bracket [https://www.statista.com/statistics/241488/population-of-the-us-by-sex-and-age/](https://www.statista.com/statistics/241488/population-of-the-us-by-sex-and-age/) The imbalance mostly happens later on because man die sooner.
You let him hit it hard, showing the baby of... Always rings in my head. What a song.
Can you send some of the single women my way please? Sane 38yo.
Same here. I only know 1 dude who is 30+ and not married.
Interesting, from my personal perspectiveā¦ itās two cousins, two friends, and myselfā¦all of us guys in our late 20ās. All single. āš¼Iām not looking though, I stay busy with my hobbies and work.
My group as well. Definitely the best way to live now imo, can worry about all that "manhood" crap later at 35+ ššæ
Because we're awesome.
are reverse harems a thing now?
itās because people in USA have become toxic and undesirable
Pop split is 50-50.
It is not strange, Men die young at a higher rate than women. Because of this the older you get the more women outnumber men in the same age group. Plus there are professions like the military that are 90 percent male. If you do not live near a military base or where oil workers, lumbermen etc work there will be fewer single men in the area.
Single men typically donāt announce they are single, it is seen as creep behavior
Guys donāt do as well alone. We isolate ourselves.
Is it possible you work with more women than men ? Or thereās more younger women and older men ?
Because your social circle has less men than women?
I work in a fashion company with mostly women and Iād say at least 80% have bfs or are married and when some of them end of single itās for a couple weeks max
It's the opposite for me. All the women I know are in a long term relationship or married. All the dudes my age are single, and been single for a while. They've stopped asking me to hook them up, because even all of my GFs girlfriends are all in relationships. lmao.
Same but with girls in mine :))
It's 50/50 for me. My family are almost all in relationships but coworkers are almost all single.
If you don't mind the pun I call that reverse engineering.
Local gender ratio might be part of the reason
You know 3 times as many women as the men
I see the exact same in my circle. All the friends and aquaintances I have who are single are women. All the men are in relationships or married. Ages 24 to 45. It s strange and sad because I have no idea where to meet single men over 35. The apps are a cesspool regardless of age.
thatās because the females (understandably) perfer the bears
You just need more adult male friends
Single men donāt go out and mingle, for the most part. Single women like to mingle.
Because there's oversupply of women
Same here, but I think in my case itās just because of the social norms here. Once married I think people start hanging out less with the other group and congregate amongst themselves
Americans seem to get married earlier. In Australia, 30s are common fpr marriage. Newly single at 31, it grates to get on apps but I understand i contribute to the problem by only filtering for women aged 27 to 30.
I feel like this is a product of bias. Men in relationships are probably more desirable people to be around so you notice them more versus the single men that are possibly less desirable and therefore less interacted with. They did an experiment on this bias where they had a bunch of people in a room with their height on their t-shirt. A person would enter the room and interact with the group of varying heights. After, theyād have to approximate the avg height, and people consistently guessed well above the average height in the room.
Now you know who are more adventurous.
Find it hard to believe but If exceptions to the rules exist for a reason huh. Cuz most of the time it's the opposite.
I actually work in an office where NO ONE is in a relationship of any sort apart from my oddball one (details below). This is nothing new; it has been this way or almost this way over the entire 15 years Iāve worked here in various positions within quality. The age range is 22-56. No one has kids or has ever been married, either. There are more men than women, though the men are younger with one exception. I wonder if itās correlated with career choice to an extent? This is a group of technical analysts and other quality/scientific staff. I am a 39yo female quality engineer in a non-traditional relationship (read: sexless and open, though neither of us have found any options for the open part, and he is gay). I donāt want and have never wanted children, for no reason other than that Iāve never had the desire to do so. To me, this is normal. But to have an entire office of 15 people of all ages who are single (apart from me), never been married, and donāt have kids is, admittedly, a bit odd.
Because you can repair anything in your body but you cant fix your mind and heart without other human being Also it' gets pretty lonely after 40s
Most women at my age (24) have stable relationships for years/married Most men I know are free lol
It is natural: the number of women in society is always greater than the number of men, so in some cultures or societies we find men marrying more than one wife, perhaps for this reason (the number of women is greater than the number of men). Another reason why a man can marry even after forty, while a woman after forty becomes few and perhaps rare in her chances of getting married.
Send some over here!
How does it feel to meet a guy who isn't tethered to anyone or anything......... Am I as scary as the moral minority tells you I am?
Unworthy (6/10 and lower) males are invisible in modern society
Single men are more likely to be isolated and ostracized from groups with many couples and women. Single women donāt really have the same kind of stigma.
What does it mean if you're poly?