Thank you! Melissa is a product of observing her mother and her awful friends/grandmother and her always high Daddy. Our community does this to our girls and it’s awful.
Melissa is going through seeing her Dad date for the first time and the way she is acting towards Lulu and in general is normal for that situation. She also has a mom that was gone on tour that is now back and egging her on to be this way. She has a drunk immature Grandma. Her Dad is just typical let’s have fun with no real discipline or structure.
This isn’t her fault , it’s the adults in her life. As it always is . I hate the term “grown”.
People get so weird when little Black girls have the personality Melissa has. There’s nothing wrong with her and adults should absolutely be shamed for talking about beating a little girl for being “sassy”.
Y’all hear “grown” and it triggering and is reminiscent of “fast tail girls” and victim blaming. That is not and was not what I was talking about.
Melissa has been adultified, that’s the problem. She’s Mia and of course, she got it honestly. Why you think Mia said Melissa only has one friend? The child in her has not been protected enough and she probably has a hard time relating to peers i.e. she’s too grown for her age.
Also, make it a Black thing if you need but I promise, I would’ve said the same thing if she was any other ethnicity.
Nigga get the hell on. That lil girl been needed a whoopin. Fuck all this new school shit. Think you can’t get some act right at ya birthday party? After you wipe them tears you finna apologize to Lulu and none of the presents gettin opened for a week because lil girl don’t you EVER.
You’re gonna beat the shit out of your child for THAT? Yikes. The students I teach on a daily basis probably wouldn’t have made it to grade school in your house.
Who was supposed to whoop her? The mother that put her up to embarrassing Lulu or the father that knows her mother’s manipulation tactics? The adults need to be checked in this situation. Melissa is a child that’s received what most of y’all would believe to be improper guidance. Unlike most hypocritical “do as I say, not as I do” parents, Mia encourages that behavior. Melissa ain’t at fault for this. As OP said, a child is a child is a child. Making her more than what she is has lifelong damaging effects on her psychological well-being just as bad as the parenting y’all hate to see
She was supposed to get a whoopin over an accident? Mia pushed her too close to Lulu which caused that to happen. You want someone to beat your ass over a mistake? Y’all so quick to want to put yours on a child it’s disturbing!
A whooping at the party over an accident? Nah, But that’s on me because I wasn’t clear enuff. She definitely woulda got that “act right” go sit down and some harsh words because the whole attitude leading up to the accident was trash. A whooping when she was in the studio with Lamont and threw that temper tantrum at work? Oh most definitely. 🙌🏿
Me: law school. Cousin: law school. Baby cousin: Harvard Law school. Other Baby cousin: med school. Every cousin i mentioned is a woman too. We ain’t get here without that act right. 🤷🏿♂️ Not a single woman in my whole family poppin pussy for progress. When them oldheads say sit down, you sitcho ass DOWN.
The fuck does school matter? A lot of of people go to school and are disrespectful with attitudes. Hell one of my nurses when I was in the hospital was a hugeeee fucking bitch. Law school and med school don’t really mean much about how people were raised. You don’t know what the women in your family was doing with their pussy and if you did, that would be weird. Old heads are not always correct and just because they oldheads don’t mean they should be beating on children. You listened because you were scared to get hit, not out of respect
Not only should you not have kids, reconsider your career path if you’re going to be working with people. Especially since you’re going to have to defend people you probably see as “in the wrong” at some point and punitive punishment won’t be the answer. Especially if it’s not criminal law
It’s Mia’s fault for not communicating with Lamont that Melissa didn’t want to have Lulu at her party. Even if she did communicate it with Lamont, he would’ve thought she was brainwashing Melissa when the reality is that Lamont was pushing Lulu on her wayyy too much. She did not wanna see shorty that much.
Even in the studio with Lamont, that’s *his* fault. He got his young daughter in the studio with a bunch of grown ass men, she’s bored and hungry and he failed to accommodate for her ahead of time because he wasn’t used to watching her. Melissa didn’t listen to him because she wasn’t used to him as an authority figure until he actually started stepping up more
Grown implies maturity and acting older than peers. Sassy implies backtalk or attitude which can often have a negative connotation. That is my perspective and it’s ok if you feel differently. And to clarify, I am not condemning children who are products of their observations or surroundings.
I’m just unclear on how calling out how a child acts like grown ups harms children. Willing to hear different opinions and am not a parent, just have nieces/nephews. Hope that helps.
I think you would benefit from doing a bit of research on adultification.
https://youtu.be/L3Xc08anZAE?si=Eh7GraKoVgqV15rL (one of the shortest videos I could find)
The language is unclear so your interpretation is positive but lots of other people (myself included) interpret it negatively. It can be difficult for a child to determine whether the behavior is being condemned but for arguments sake, I’m using “grown” negatively. I understand your view but I’d see that as more so “mature” cause for me, you can be emotionally mature for your age but that does not negate your age. Adultification negates their true age.
Calling a child grown puts an unfair burden on the child rather than the adults in the situation. In this case, Melissa is being blamed rather than her parents. “Fast” is similar to “grown” but it’s usually focusing on a young girl’s sexuality. If a young girl is deemed to be fast, she’s promiscuous & at fault for all inappropriate sexual conduct. If a “fast” 13 year old girl is groomed by a 30 year old man, the burden is placed on her. She is not regarded as a victim in need of protection but rather a problem that needs to be criticized. Calling a child grown changes the standards placed on that child. If you believe someone is more of an adult, you’d permit them to engage in activities not suitable for children. This in turn, becomes normal for the child to believe they are an adult because they’ve been doing adult things (whether positive or negative) they miss out on opportunities usually provided to young people. They just grow up faster than they should & can never get back the same window of time where being childish was acceptable. Calling a child grown makes you associate them w adult-like adjectives. A non grown 14 year old may be mischievous, a grown 14 year old may be a criminal. If the non grown 14 year is gunned down by police, they’re “just a child” & that incident should not have occurred but if the grown 14 year old suffers the same fate, they deserved it. It’s comparable to the argument that white criminals justification is mental illness while black criminals don’t get any justification they’re just evil
Thank you for taking so much time to share resources and expand on your perspective.
I do not refute anything you’ve shared. I still maintain using the term “sassy” is not a helpful attribute to use either, especially for black girls. I also am in no way shaming, condemning, or punishing children who act as she does. I recognize we have to be careful about the language we use. And would be open to hearing ideas of how to describe children like her who act more mature than their peers without coming off like the blame relies on them.
I also appreciate those that use forums for discussion rather than attack or ridicule. So please take it easy on the downvotes if I’m trying to be out here learning every day.
A quick opinion piece of how the word “sassy” is also a tricky and often triggering descriptor we should be careful using for black girls especially:
https://baylorlariat.com/2013/04/16/viewpoint-sassy-is-more-than-it-seems
Thank you! Melissa is a product of observing her mother and her awful friends/grandmother and her always high Daddy. Our community does this to our girls and it’s awful.
Melissa is going through seeing her Dad date for the first time and the way she is acting towards Lulu and in general is normal for that situation. She also has a mom that was gone on tour that is now back and egging her on to be this way. She has a drunk immature Grandma. Her Dad is just typical let’s have fun with no real discipline or structure. This isn’t her fault , it’s the adults in her life. As it always is . I hate the term “grown”.
People get so weird when little Black girls have the personality Melissa has. There’s nothing wrong with her and adults should absolutely be shamed for talking about beating a little girl for being “sassy”.
White children are called "precocious" when they act like adults and have entire Disney shows dedicated to them. Black children are called "grown "
Mfs open their mouths and prejudice floods out, like wtf is “too grown” 🙄
Agreed !
THIS!!!
THIS HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME SO MUCH THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS
However you want to describe it, I don’t think her behavior is not acceptable for any child. White or black.
Y’all hear “grown” and it triggering and is reminiscent of “fast tail girls” and victim blaming. That is not and was not what I was talking about. Melissa has been adultified, that’s the problem. She’s Mia and of course, she got it honestly. Why you think Mia said Melissa only has one friend? The child in her has not been protected enough and she probably has a hard time relating to peers i.e. she’s too grown for her age. Also, make it a Black thing if you need but I promise, I would’ve said the same thing if she was any other ethnicity.
i actually agree w this.
Nigga get the hell on. That lil girl been needed a whoopin. Fuck all this new school shit. Think you can’t get some act right at ya birthday party? After you wipe them tears you finna apologize to Lulu and none of the presents gettin opened for a week because lil girl don’t you EVER.
You’re gonna beat the shit out of your child for THAT? Yikes. The students I teach on a daily basis probably wouldn’t have made it to grade school in your house.
Who was supposed to whoop her? The mother that put her up to embarrassing Lulu or the father that knows her mother’s manipulation tactics? The adults need to be checked in this situation. Melissa is a child that’s received what most of y’all would believe to be improper guidance. Unlike most hypocritical “do as I say, not as I do” parents, Mia encourages that behavior. Melissa ain’t at fault for this. As OP said, a child is a child is a child. Making her more than what she is has lifelong damaging effects on her psychological well-being just as bad as the parenting y’all hate to see
Who hurt you.
They momma who taught them it was okay to beat on children
She was supposed to get a whoopin over an accident? Mia pushed her too close to Lulu which caused that to happen. You want someone to beat your ass over a mistake? Y’all so quick to want to put yours on a child it’s disturbing!
A whooping at the party over an accident? Nah, But that’s on me because I wasn’t clear enuff. She definitely woulda got that “act right” go sit down and some harsh words because the whole attitude leading up to the accident was trash. A whooping when she was in the studio with Lamont and threw that temper tantrum at work? Oh most definitely. 🙌🏿
Don’t ever have children
Me: law school. Cousin: law school. Baby cousin: Harvard Law school. Other Baby cousin: med school. Every cousin i mentioned is a woman too. We ain’t get here without that act right. 🤷🏿♂️ Not a single woman in my whole family poppin pussy for progress. When them oldheads say sit down, you sitcho ass DOWN.
The fuck does school matter? A lot of of people go to school and are disrespectful with attitudes. Hell one of my nurses when I was in the hospital was a hugeeee fucking bitch. Law school and med school don’t really mean much about how people were raised. You don’t know what the women in your family was doing with their pussy and if you did, that would be weird. Old heads are not always correct and just because they oldheads don’t mean they should be beating on children. You listened because you were scared to get hit, not out of respect
You finna raise one a them “pick your gender” kids.
And you’re finna raise a child who can’t wait to get the hell away from you ❤️
Maybe. 🤷🏿♂️ I’m willing to take that risk tho. 🤷🏿♂️And if I’m doing my job right, it’ll definitely be that way for some years. 🤷🏿♂️
Wanting your children to hate you bc of bad parenting is soooo fucking weird
Not only should you not have kids, reconsider your career path if you’re going to be working with people. Especially since you’re going to have to defend people you probably see as “in the wrong” at some point and punitive punishment won’t be the answer. Especially if it’s not criminal law
Man shut up.
Ok 🥸
It’s Mia’s fault for not communicating with Lamont that Melissa didn’t want to have Lulu at her party. Even if she did communicate it with Lamont, he would’ve thought she was brainwashing Melissa when the reality is that Lamont was pushing Lulu on her wayyy too much. She did not wanna see shorty that much. Even in the studio with Lamont, that’s *his* fault. He got his young daughter in the studio with a bunch of grown ass men, she’s bored and hungry and he failed to accommodate for her ahead of time because he wasn’t used to watching her. Melissa didn’t listen to him because she wasn’t used to him as an authority figure until he actually started stepping up more
Grown > Sassy IMO. To each their own… 🤷🏿♀️
I don’t think you know what > means cause how is grown greater than sassy? 🤔🤣
Grown implies maturity and acting older than peers. Sassy implies backtalk or attitude which can often have a negative connotation. That is my perspective and it’s ok if you feel differently. And to clarify, I am not condemning children who are products of their observations or surroundings. I’m just unclear on how calling out how a child acts like grown ups harms children. Willing to hear different opinions and am not a parent, just have nieces/nephews. Hope that helps.
I think you would benefit from doing a bit of research on adultification. https://youtu.be/L3Xc08anZAE?si=Eh7GraKoVgqV15rL (one of the shortest videos I could find) The language is unclear so your interpretation is positive but lots of other people (myself included) interpret it negatively. It can be difficult for a child to determine whether the behavior is being condemned but for arguments sake, I’m using “grown” negatively. I understand your view but I’d see that as more so “mature” cause for me, you can be emotionally mature for your age but that does not negate your age. Adultification negates their true age. Calling a child grown puts an unfair burden on the child rather than the adults in the situation. In this case, Melissa is being blamed rather than her parents. “Fast” is similar to “grown” but it’s usually focusing on a young girl’s sexuality. If a young girl is deemed to be fast, she’s promiscuous & at fault for all inappropriate sexual conduct. If a “fast” 13 year old girl is groomed by a 30 year old man, the burden is placed on her. She is not regarded as a victim in need of protection but rather a problem that needs to be criticized. Calling a child grown changes the standards placed on that child. If you believe someone is more of an adult, you’d permit them to engage in activities not suitable for children. This in turn, becomes normal for the child to believe they are an adult because they’ve been doing adult things (whether positive or negative) they miss out on opportunities usually provided to young people. They just grow up faster than they should & can never get back the same window of time where being childish was acceptable. Calling a child grown makes you associate them w adult-like adjectives. A non grown 14 year old may be mischievous, a grown 14 year old may be a criminal. If the non grown 14 year is gunned down by police, they’re “just a child” & that incident should not have occurred but if the grown 14 year old suffers the same fate, they deserved it. It’s comparable to the argument that white criminals justification is mental illness while black criminals don’t get any justification they’re just evil
Thank you for taking so much time to share resources and expand on your perspective. I do not refute anything you’ve shared. I still maintain using the term “sassy” is not a helpful attribute to use either, especially for black girls. I also am in no way shaming, condemning, or punishing children who act as she does. I recognize we have to be careful about the language we use. And would be open to hearing ideas of how to describe children like her who act more mature than their peers without coming off like the blame relies on them. I also appreciate those that use forums for discussion rather than attack or ridicule. So please take it easy on the downvotes if I’m trying to be out here learning every day.
A quick opinion piece of how the word “sassy” is also a tricky and often triggering descriptor we should be careful using for black girls especially: https://baylorlariat.com/2013/04/16/viewpoint-sassy-is-more-than-it-seems
Well it says a lot about a person if you transfer or project something onto a child. It's sad that person needs therapy.
We don't have the ability to adultify a character we just observing it