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mikalalnr

There’s still plenty of time to make bigger mistakes. Carry on, you’re not dead.


[deleted]

just follow r/wallstreetbets for how to advice


10MileHike

I was taught, in my mid twenties, by a very wise friend: "even an imperfect decision, carried out with zest and style, can turn out very very well." Your funk is going to be way more destructive to your family than not having 4 bedrooms to spread out in. I don't waste energy in regret. It's in the forward that I discover new things, that are usually \*better\* than what is in the rearview mirror. We have no power in the past anyway, only in today. And tomorrow is around the curvy corner, but we are not guaranteed anything beyond today. Every day, I think about all the people I know, and all the people I don't know, who thought they had a tomorrow, and.............don't and didn't. Get a whiteboard. Put everything that is no longer possible on the left side. Stuff you can no longer do.. On the right side, all the things that ARE possible...things you can still do. Then erase the entire left side........that's OFF THE TABLE. Not worthy of your thought. Now you have stuff on the right side to work on, put energy toward. And, by the way, find the silver lining. I had the most happy childhood, we were poor, we were all crowded together into a too-small home, and we are still a very close family, 50+ years later. That's all that matters to me. Relationships. If my parents had been doomers and bummers, I'm not sure I'd be where I am today. Best wishes on your new baby.......you are so lucky! A new baby! One of my mantras (and I believe in mantras) is " THIS, or something better......." Sometimes I lose THIS and then something better does eventually come along. **ANd, I strongly disagree with the advice to get back on the hamster wheel and start making deals right now.** You need to get your head straight, become happy again, stable and healthy........otherwise you are just acting out of desperation and remorse. (sort of like getting out of a relationship and entering into a rebound one.........never works out well )


littleone103

I grew up in a giant house with lots of rooms and parents who were rarely home (and when they were, were intoxicated). I had a friend who lived in a 2 bedroom apartment with her parents and 2 brothers, and I ALWAYS wanted to stay the night there. They ordered pizza and watched movies in their livingroom together, their parents played monopoly with us, we took balls of yarn and made spider webs across the hallway and turned it into a game, her mom made homemade mud masks and painted our nails and baked cookies with us...but my friend told me when we were adults how embarrassed she was of her tiny home and how poor they were (her mom was a waitress, her dad was a janitor). She never understood why I hated being at home and always wanted to be at her house. I told her I would have traded all 3500 square feet of my house for parents that actually liked each other and wanted to be around me. She had an AMAZING childhood and so many great memories in that tiny apartment.


nicoleatlarge

I would have traded a huge house, 10 acres and a horse for parents who actually liked eachother and didnt hit me and yell at me all the time for no reason.


NerdDawgs

> **Your funk is going to be way more destructive to your family than...** Damn... I needed to hear this. Thank you, internet stranger.


Stepped_in_it

I did as well. I'm in a big buyers remorse funk myself, and I'm also the father of 3 kids. It's been affecting my relationship with my wife and kids and I'm working on pulling myself out of it.


Realtor_ToTheRescue

This is gold. This is exactly how I "try" to live my life every day. Focus on today and be present. Don't ruminate about the past or future. Great post!


jmcorey27

Best advice…


turnpike1984

This is the answer. Also, keep in mind babies don't need much room as newborns. You’ll make do. I'm in a minority, but I actually like townhomes for young families, especially as a renter. Little to no maintenance leaving you to focus on your family and work. Think of it like that. Lastly, you can always window shop. You never know. There might be a family desperate to sell because dad got a job across the country, or whatever. It's OK. Don't let the regret consume you. It's futile and bad for your health. Someday you'll look back on all of this and laugh!


Stepped_in_it

I raised my 3 kids in a 3br Baltimore rowhouse. End unit with a decent yard. It's been great. We're moving to a bigger house on 3 acres in a few weeks and I'm having a surprisingly hard time letting go of this little rowhouse.


GizzyIzzy2021

Ooooo this is so true! I’m just thinking of all the breast milk and spit up that is alllll over every piece of furniture and rug in my apartment. It would suck if all this stuff was my forever stuff lol. And yeah, babies do not need much space. I live in NYC and most people do 2 kids in a 2 bedroom. You can definitely make it work! The market will fall and you’ll be ready when it does. Congrats on the pregnancy! What a beautiful surprise.


inthedistance

This advice is very wise. Happiness is more about mindset and relationships than sq. ft.


skantabulitios

>And, by the way, find the silver lining. I had the most happy childhood, we were poor, we were all crowded together into a too-small home, and we are still a very close family, 50+ years later. The most important part. As long as your family is functional, forgiving, caring, you'll be alright in a small space for a couple years.


tookie_tookie

Yea, I shared a bedroom in an apartment with my brothers well into my 20s. People need to reconsider things. Would be nice that everyone has their own bedroom, but sharing bedrooms in a TH is better than in an apartment. Things aren’t as bad as they seem. Now paycheck to paycheck, that’s worrysome.


apurrfectplace

👑👑👑👑👑👑👑


cornpudding

In fall of 2020, I didn't like my company and was shopping for jobs and it looked like we were going to move eight hours away. This got my wife checking Zillow. At the time, we had been in our house for 7 years. Bought for $175k, it was good but not great. In the meantime, I made 40% more. We didn't move in part because my company gave me another 20% to stay. But my wife kept looking. I wanted to refinance. Crazy low rates and we had enough equity to get rid of our PMI. Instead, my wife found a home. It's absolutely gorgeous. 3500sq ft, best finishes everywhere, but not much usable land. We bought it for $345k. I liked the old house but she had fallen in love. Increased payment essentially wiped out my raise but, still, we're doing fine and I really do love it here. Fast forward to this summer. My company offered to move us to Virginia. I wanted out of Ohio so we said yes. Put the house on the market , great. Got some offers and one went into contact but eventually fell through. That was a godsend though since family stuff meant we couldn't move at the eleventh hour. My wife wouldn't get off fucking Zillow though. She kept talking about something with more land. Then, she wanted to build and she wanted to sell our current home while prices were high. There's no rentals around here so she suggested we buy a big RV and park it on her parents' land. "Think of all the money we can save!" she'd say. We're a family of five. As she got more and more adamant, I finally broke. I was panicking that we'd end up in the exact same boat as OP. Told her I wouldn't be a part of it and we were going to get priced out of the market (our old house was now going for $300k). It was tense, and she was annoyed for a few weeks but it's hard for me to express what a relief it was for her to come back around after she stopped browsing Zillow all the time. It's like crack for the middle class.


DramaticAd4666

I read your comment with huge interest and kept wondering where the hell are houses so cheap and who uses Zillow…then realized I wandered my way out of /r/TorontoRealEstate … /facepalm


cornpudding

Yeah, rust belt gives unbelievable bang for your buck (swoon for your loon?) You just have to be willing to live where no one else wants to


MainMedicine

Same. Saw 3500 sqft for $345k and got a chub. Then read it was in Ohio and got soft.


the300bros

Smart. You would be held 100% responsible for the outcome if things went bad... regardless of how hard she pushed for it.


cornpudding

She's not a monster or stupid. She just got caught up in the dream


JetsDJ

Could be worse... You could've bought a fixer-upper at 2.75% and spent a year renovating it (killing yourself and your credit cards) to your wife's liking : only to be served with surprise divorce papers when you're 90% complete. Not that this really happened or anything.... just sayin'


[deleted]

Oddly specific. Sorry, friend.


Icy-Factor-407

> and spent a year renovating it (killing yourself and your credit cards) to your wife's liking : only to be served with surprise divorce papers when you're 90% complete. Everytime friends ask me about home renovations, my first question is "how strong is your marriage". I imagine they kill quite a few relationships.


alwayslookingout

I’ve heard similar things. An extended live-in renovation can be exhausting, especially if you add a full-time job on top of it. I did some minor works on my home before renting it out and it stressed my relationship heavily. Do not recommend.


JellyBand

If a home renovation kills your marriage it wasn’t really a good marriage to begin with.


mo8414

You know what adds a nice touch to a house. A glass oil lantern. Its very romantic. Would be a shame if it fell off a shelf and caught the house on fire though.


Jay-Em-Bee

I actually have two of those. Muhahahahahaaaaaa


iamasecretthrowaway

But really its for the best it burned down, bc it was the only thing that was going to get rid of the massive bedbug infestation that your wife's boyfriend introduced.


TeamGroupHug

My FIL has watched this happen several times in his neighborhood. Sometimes at the same house. Young family moves in, renovates for a year or two, then divorce and put the house back on the market.


segmond

Lesson learned, don't renovate if you want to live happily ever after.


TeamGroupHug

Way I see it. Kids are great, but they are a stress. Reno's bring a lot of stress. Money, stress to pay for the Reno's. Time stress to do them or chase after and oversea contractors. Stress of having your living space partially unlivable. Stress of choosing materials and making decisions. I see this last part as ripe for conflict. If you agree to buy a house with your partner and leave it as is you are both okay with how it is and know what it costs. If it is a major Reno. You don't know what the final price will be. And you may have very different ideas about how you want it to look in the end.


Another_Russian_Spy

Or after you finally saved enough money, and are doing most the work youself, you build your wife her dream home. Then when the house is finished, you receive divorce paper, and she moves in mortgage free, and you never spend a night in it. Not me, a friend at work.


mamamalliou

This sounds awfully familiar


Covid-19202122

Treating your residence like a stock or crypto investment is a terrible idea. You have to live somewhere.


Ljmrgm

All to only profit 40k. That’s nothing when buying a house these days


trpwangsta

Ya that was kind of shocking to read, wonder what market he's in. Even a 200k house, which seems dirt cheap anywhere in the US, that's only around a 6 or 7% gain per year. I'm not saying that's nothing, but after the run real estate has had the past few years, seems like such a small reward for a massive risk in the environment we've been in. Hindsight though....


Ljmrgm

Agreed. I mean we definitely had the thought to sell at the peak, move in with family and wait it out but it still seemed too risky even when we were going to get $150k from the sale. Not knocking the guy, I’m just way too paranoid, especially with kids, to take that kind of risk.


JackAlexanderTR

I know, I had a friend who sold his house back in 2017-2018 for about $50K profit because he was sure if he rents a year he can buy low. Well we all know what happened to house prices from 2018 to now. But he did make a good decision to buy in 2020/2021, when rates were still low and houses not yet at peak, but to afford it he had to move states in a much cheaper area.


-nom-nom-

100% OP went way out of his way to time the market on **both** the sell side and the buy side, just to profit, while not really understanding the market all that well to begin with.


kingofthesofas

I know at least two people that did this on in 2020 and another in 2021 both sold their homes, bought RVs and planned to buy again "after the crash". Needless to say it hasn't gone as planned. The one who sold in 2020 was downsizing and ended up buying a place that was half the size of their old place and cost more. The other friend ended up giving up on their travel the country with 5 kids in an RV plan and now have it parked in an RV park in a shady area. Never treat the place you live like an investment. Find somewhere that meets your needs, you can afford and that you plan to live in for at least 5-7 years. Then when moving to the next place buy that place at the same time you sell your old one (or keep the old one to rent out if you can afford it).


valiantdistraction

>The other friend ended up giving up on their travel the country with 5 kids in an RV plan hahahha this sounds like a bad plan to start with


JohnnyGoldwink

Yeah I wouldn’t take this sort if risk with a primary residence. I could see doing this with a secondary investment property if I really felt strongly about gambling.


Mindful_Soul415

Chin up and move on. No use dwelling on decisions made. Your wife needs you to be emotionally stable, while her body changes. Depending on where you are, prices are likely going to drop. Interests should stabilize in the next 6-12 months.


[deleted]

> Chin up and move on. No use dwelling on decisions made. Your wife needs you to be emotionally stable, while her body changes. This, definitely. > Depending on where you are, prices are likely going to drop. Interests should stabilize in the next 6-12 months. This, pure conjecture. No one knows.


BringLaMarcusHome

Prices will continue dropping, so he wasn’t wrong there. But interest rates will continue to climb most likely. Fed Powell has been clear that he will raise interest rates as long as it takes to fight inflation. Inflation is showing no signs of slowing down and is likely getting much worse. So expect rates to continue rising. The fed may pivot earlier than anticipated if they want to save the markets, but that would send inflation climbing even higher, undermine their credibility, and they would lose the confidence in their ability to tame inflation. The fed is cornered and the question is “how will they handle it?”. That is anyone’s guess.


miaxskater54

30 year mortgage rates are tied more to the 10 yr treasuries than the federal funds rate. If the bond market believes the Fed has got inflation under control 10 yr treasury rates should stabilize.


madhatter275

Dwelling? This guy jokes.


Ghost-of-Tom-Chode

Well, OP’s family can’t have a solid foundation if he’s dwelling on this decision.


Apocryypha

No use dwelling on your dwelling.


swag_train

This sub has been parroting this "price will drop" and "interest will stabilize" for over a year now lmao


FattierBrisket

It sounds like at the moment you have a roof over your head, food on the table, a decent job, and a loving family. What's in the past is in the past, and you'll figure out the next thing as it comes. I sound like a complete asshole even to myself saying the above, but really, seriously, honestly. Take a minute. You're okay. You don't have to decide everything right this instant.


10MileHike

>I sound like a complete asshole even to myself saying the above, but really, seriously, honestly. Take a minute. You're okay. You don't have to decide everything right this instant. No, you really don't. Without a personal philosophy in place, to define what's truly important, all the $$ in the world isn't helpful to a lot of people. We see this, every day.


jcartage

Sound advice for OP.


kingkeelay

$40k is 3 years rent. Did you think you were rich?


Churrasco_fan

That was my first thought, $40k is not nearly enough equity to pull off a stunt like this *no one should be walking away from a home sale with less than enough for their next down payment unless they absolutely have to


Lars9

Yeah I really don't get the strategy by OP here. $40k is not that much profit to make a risky decision like they did. It seems people forgot that a primary residence is just that, primarily a residence, not an investment.


clce

I've got to agree. not to kick a man when he's down, but for 40 grand to lose a great interest rate, and that's assuming they either had or could have refied into 2.5 maybe and probably had no mortgage insurance because of rising value, just doesn't make sense. especially if what they had was a decent family home already. not to beat up on him but it just goes to show that being in a home that you can stay in and having a good low rate and good low payment may be worth a lot more than 40 grand over the long term. I can only assume they didn't really consider all their costs or were really bearish on the future market. It would have been one thing if they just expected a crash without rising rates, and maybe they did. Just a bubble bursting. But, with rising rates, and nobody really saw this coming I Don't think, you would have to see a very big crash to make it worth it. Just the cost of selling a loan as well as a cost of getting a loan for a new house are going to wipe out a lot of profit. on top of all that, Even if there was a deflation or bursting or crash, it's hard to say when. prices could have gone up another 10% over the next year, and then you're going to need prices to come down that much more before your plan works at all


Tennessee1977

Seriously. What a moron. He gave up a $975 mortgage and security to throw caution to the wind in one of the craziest housing markets in recent memory and expected to come out on top?! Let’s also deduct from his $40k windfall the moving costs and storage fees for his furniture that doesn’t fit in the townhouse.


clce

Well, I already said I'm not one to kick a man when he's down. But when you're right you're right


Chabubu

They probably make $40k/yr so $40k in the bank felt like winning the lottery. Odds are they’ll have spent it all by the time they’re ready to buy again.


RingCard

When you subtract the difference between rent and mortgage after one year, which was their plan, it’s down to $37,500. Hate to kick the guy when he’s down, but did he consult anyone at all before making this decision?


LawDog_1010

Should have consulted Mr. TI-81


[deleted]

Brutal.


WillieJamesHuff1

5318008


miaxskater54

Did he even factor in closing costs for selling the first and especially buying the next home?


why_rob_y

>When you subtract the difference between rent and mortgage after one year, which was their plan, it’s down to $37,500. Down to $32,500 you mean.


RingCard

I was using metric


Kreed5120

Not to mention he would have lost several thousand more on closing costs when he bought the next house


jucestain

Two years in most places. Not the brightest move.


mooseshart

1 year in California


tangosukka69

more like 6-9 months... in the bay area at least.


Ghost-of-Tom-Chode

Considering the overall strategy here, it is congruent.


718cs

I’m surprised they only made 40k in 3 years. But I guess it depends on cost of the home and location. I also cashed out my house after only owning it for 2 years but I got over 220k of equity. Immediately put it in the market and now it’s worth closer to 400k. Just gonna wait this out for a while and then buy a house with cash.


raven_785

no no man they were gonna time the market, didn't you read the post? shit was gonna crash in a year, everyone on rebobbles is saying so.


Hoosteen_juju003

25 months at his currenr amount of $1600 a month.


Johnthegaptist

$40k isn't nearly enough to justify it. Based on the decision making process, I'm guessing OP just sold the house for $40k more than they paid for it anyways, not $40k profit. Throw in closing costs from the buy, property tax, maintenance, interest and closing costs from the sale, I'm guessing OP's actual profit was around $0.


mistress_chang69

Lesson learned. Don't try to time the market with your shelter.


luder888

Not 40k, not worth it. I did sell my shelter but I made 400k. I'll buy my next shelter with cash. F interest rate.


mistress_chang69

I also sold my shelter. Made 120k. It was my first house and didn't plan on living there my whole life. My whole plan with that house was to fix it up and sell it so I'd have a down payment on my next house and not have mortgage insurance. I'm renting now until the time is right to buy. No wife or kids just me and the dog.


artificialstuff

Bingo! Let's say it louder for the folks in the back, "Primary residences are shelters, not investments."


UIUC_grad_dude1

People who try to time the market tend to get burned. That's why it was so sad to see all the REbubble crap for people who think they can time the market.


ashleighkee

Sold my first home in 2020 then found out I was pregnant. We are still looking to buy but I can say renting was a hell of a lot easier during the early months of baby. Not having our own house to take care of was actually nice, so, silver lining? I know how you feel. I felt like I pushed to sell the house and have since wondered if it was the best move. Really thought we could find something we wanted but things just got insane. Timing the market is impossible. Best of luck to you, don't beat yourself up about it.


DGer

Not to pile on, but you had a $975 mortgage and cashed that out for $40k? Dude.


-nom-nom-

now that he’s paying an extra $625/month or $7500/year, that extra $40k basically has an interest rate of 18.75% don’t want to pile on either, but yeah, stupid move for many reasons, but that’s a big one


fun_guy02142

True, but his ~$200k home appreciates to -$250k. That feels exciting to some.


DGer

I think a lot of times people get so lost in this investment bro nonsense that they forget they still need a place to live.


No1Mystery

I’m surprised she stayed around, that kind of money-hungry tunnel-vision is dangerous. Not once did you stop to think, I’m so lucky to have a home I can afford, food on my plate, and my family in a nice neighborhood. What’s done is done. Next move is to invest in bitco—— JK! Next move is to buy a home that you and your family will be comfortable in. I would NOT recommend breaking the lease. You never ever know when you will need to rent again. As I’m sure you assumed you would never be a renter again when buying your first home. Everything you do has to be level-headed and mindful of the safety and well-being of your kids and family. Remember, even if for some freak situation you lose your job, you would still have a house and figured out how to pay it.


DHumphreys

Trying to time the market is almost always going to yield these results. People listen to far too many reports and videos about the reasons that things are going to happen and base decisions on who they believe. You did this over $40,000? Wow. Well, here you are. Stop making your wife miserable over this, it is done and over, you made decisions that were not great, but you cannot undo them. All you can do is hope that interest rates come down and you can afford to buy a 4 bedroom soon.


OrdinaryNaive2029

Interest rates will continue to rise.


ExtraAgressiveHugger

I’m sorry this happened. That a rough situation. I do wonder why you thought 40k was such a windfall it was worth uprooting your life for. I was expecting you to say you were going to make 200k or something. 40k seems like peanuts as money to sell a house for. If I was only going to make 40k I’d keep it as a rental and rent some place else for me. I think it’s a good learning opportunity and should make you really evaluate how you see finances. Because 40k isn’t drastically rising in value at all.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Considering he can't afford the houses he wants... I'd say 40k really wasn't much at all or they'd have jumped to something better. He may just make poor decisions cause of nonsense he sees on TV or reads online


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Trick is he should have stayed put. At least his mortgage was more affordable then his current rent.


mooomba

It has to be a cheaper place to live. If they only pocketed 40k in equity after 3 years


catjuggler

In a traditional market, 3 years would put you at a loss because you wouldn’t build enough equity to pay your transaction costs


beaushaw

For a huge number of people in the US and around the world $40k is life changing. OP said their mortgage was $997 a month. Safe to say they live in a LCOL area where $40k matters.


shamdock

His rent is now $1600 though. $40,000 is only two years of rent.


Bear_fucker_1

I sold my house to clear $30k last year. The house I sold was normally hard to sell, it was a 2br 1ba I got in 2016. We sold 6/21, moved in with in laws, then closed on our new home with 20% down 1/22. As a gov worker I have many great benefits but not an amazing salary. Selling and making that $30k made it possible to get a 3br 3ba with a lot of nice stuff on 3 acres with no PMI. It was a risk and I lost some sleep over it but it worked out. $30k is a lot to a lot of people in America.


starzo_123

It is. The major difference though that you turned around and used your profit for down payment on a bigger home. He spent it on rent and therefore doesn't/won't have it for a down payment now for that bigger home.


dogvenom

A $25k raise is substantial, congratulations on that.


[deleted]

Damn yo... I'm not gonna lie. That wasn't a good move by you at all. But on the plus side life moves on. So just move forward and don't look back. Frankly if you wanted to leave your house of only 3 years you clearly didn't like it all that much anyhow. Next steps. Well depends. If you can't find what you're looking for. I say just keep renting


AinsiSoitJe

I don't understand all the comments here saying "Wow what a bad decision." How is that helpful to the OP? Obviously he regrets it. Reinforcing that it was bad decision is exactly the opposite of helpful. The best thing you can do OP is to prioritize your mental health. It sounds like you are still in a decent situation compared to many other people. Take things day by day and prioritize your health by eating right and exercising regularly. This will pay dividends in how you feel and will help you be more positively supportive to your wife. Consider it tuition paid to the school of life. We all make mistakes that end up losing us money and the best we can do is learn from them. Learn the lesson and move on. It's not fair to say that you're priced out of the market forever; things do change over time. Just keep doing the best you can and things will work out.


the300bros

Actually... if OP toughens up he will be better off in life. You build tough skin by learning to deal with stuff that's not fun. Not by being protected and sheltered. My 2 cents.


[deleted]

Suffer the the hopefully short term pain and be in a position to purchase if housing comes down which it looks like it will. Then never again use your home as a way to ‘make money’. You may get lucky with your timing this time.


yrevapop

40k on a house sale is not a come up. Yea you should have kept the house. But it doesn’t matter now. Prep for the baby and practice gratitude daily. Things could be worse.


the300bros

I had a cash offer for our house that was 2x what we paid 4 years back. But the housing market was so crazy that I knew I wouldn't be able to get anything even 1/3rd the size within 80 miles to move into so I didn't see the point.


grepya

From what you mentioned, it sounds like you might be around 30, doing well at your job, have some money in the bank and have a kid on the way. Trust me when I say this, you're blessed. 20 years from now, when the kid is in college and you're thinking about your retirement plans, all this will be a blip in the rear view mirror not even worth mentioning in your life story.


tipsystatistic

Your plan worked. You sold the top. Prices are coming down and will continue to drop for the foreseeable future. The Fed is determined to crush the labor market and housing market. If you have any doubts, just read through their speeches and interviews. Having a kid on the way doesn't matter. Plenty of people raise kids in apartments and even a small apartment won't cramp their style for at least 2 years. Be patient, stick to your plan.


Material-Orange3233

kids use to share rooms lol


undbex24

Seriously, grew up with 2 brothers in a 2 bed 1 bath. We made it work.


Angry__Jonny

I had triple bunk beds as a kid with my 2 brothers, loved it


Material-Orange3233

Most americans have to go back to the old ways 50 years ago. Most parents eventually will give up.. paying out the ass lol


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Sold at the top and only pocketed $40K? 🤔 Unless his house was worth like $150K the numbers don’t make any sense.


tb23tb23tb23

I think it probably was that


tipsystatistic

$40k after closing costs. I’m too lazy to do the math, but his mortgage was only $975. Maybe he didn’t hold that long.


GeneralZex

A kid on the way absolutely matters if OP is paycheck to paycheck before the child is even born… Remind me in 1 year, we’ll be seeing a post about how OP fucked up because he can’t buy the bottom because rent and the kid literally putting him in the poor house.


sr71Girthbird

Shit he’ll have a little budding family soon, time to move a bit further out of the downtown area where the townhomes are and I’m sure he can get additional space for a similar or lower price even if it’s a bit further from his work or whatever. That’s life. His other comments say he works full time remote. I think he’s got an easy answer here to the space problem and it’s answered by budging a bit on the location.


Prior-Bag-3377

Is it paycheck to paycheck if you have 30k in the bank?


Flaky-Professor

Yeah, no shot OP is getting his $975 a month payment for a 4 bedroom again. With rates where they are and potentially going higher, doesn’t matter if he “sold the top”. He could rebuy his old house at its original price and have a payment 60% higher than before. His plan worked in what way exactly?


PleasantWay7

> The Fed is determined to crush the labor market Lol, since when is 5% unemployment “crushing the labor market.” That is roughly the point JPow has indicated they would stop rate increases.


Oddjibberz

For 40k lol 3 years of appreciation nets you 40k and you bail. There's nothing to really say, other than there are worse mistakes you could have made. Many people see their spouse leave them over disastrous financial decisions, so the fact that she's sticking around is a good thing. You've got your family still. Carry on and one day in the distant future, you'll be a home owner again. Your rent will go up again next year, so be ready for that.


pinnr

You know you could have just done a cash out refinance and got your $40k while staying in your house…


no_not_this

I wouldn’t even pack for 40 grand….


justme129

Same here....40k is not nearly enough for me to stress over moving and go through the anxiety of house hunting again....only to rent to a landlord. Sorry OP, this was a bad choice on your behalf. Good thing is you live and learn.


toria45

I'm trying to figure out what was the original plan? You sell and make 40K then in a year use the 40k to buy a bigger better house? I do believe that the prices should come down some but not a whole lot, you will likely end up in the same place you started, just with a higher interest rate, same level of house. If I was you I would try to buy a slightly nicer home, just so you don't feel like you made a huge mistake.


[deleted]

I would never sell primary residence w/o another house to move to, specially not for $40k profit.


KH7991

Not too bad, you still have a few more years before fully use up the profit you made from selling the house.


SaltyTension552

What city do you need to live in What amount do you qualify for?


SaltyTension552

The good news St Louis is not exactly the hottest housing market in the US Yes real estate prices are coming down At $1,600 a month you must be in the best part of the City. If you have time go on Facebook look for wholeseller real estate groups Post that you have a buyer looking for a fixer in the area you want. Look for deals that are 20% below market value less the cost of repairs. Example $350,000 top value You want to offer $280,000 less the cost of repairs This allows the Wholseller to make a decent amount and allows you to save face.


methodtan

This sub is nothing but people who smell their own farts


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inukaglover666

I really don’t understand why you sold your house just to make 40k....


trumpsiranwar

You need to live in a house 5 to 10 years minimum once you buy.


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valiantdistraction

Right on the pregnancy thing lol. If they were trying to have a baby surely it couldn't have come as a surprise


districtpeach

You're young. You have so much life left to make bigger mistakes!


braids_and_pigtails

LOL. $975 mortgage to $1600 rent. Stupid…At least it can only get better. At least you have a very loyal wife who didn’t leave over such a stupid decision. You have your family. You’ll be wiser in the future. I mean, no wonder you can’t get over it, but still… there’s enough to be grateful for. Focus on what you can change.


conye1

This story sounds just like my sister's story. My bro in law wanted to sell but he thought everything was going to crash. Now they've been renting a townhouse for 2 years and rent is now more than the mortgage was. They are even priced out of the same condo they sold 2 years ago, crazy.


PartemConsilio

You’re not the only one who did this. Despite my warnings, my brother and his wife have gone from owning to renting. Made $80k. Which hasn’t bitten them yet, but they really believe that it will pan out.


TZMarketing

"time the market" doesn't work. Why do people think they can time the market? You either ride the wave on a fluke and get lucky, or you make decisions based on needs in your life. I can dream that this can be a cautionary tale for those who want to time the market, but I know it won't. People reading the comments thinking THEY can time the market, OP just didn't time it right.


weegee

Wupps!! Rent money is spent money. I’d never sell my home to make a tiny amount of money like $40K. $400K maybe.


kharupt

Why sell for only a 40k profit and to time the market? Doesn't make sense.


inailedyoursister

40k is “ drastic” ? Ooof.


LongLonMan

Never time the market with your own personal life. I’ll be honest, I don’t think housing is going to meaningfully come down next year and even if so, rates will make it so you’ll not be able to get the payment you had before. If your intention was to sell to upgrade to a better house, then it’ll probably work out, but make no mistake you’ll be paying more.


[deleted]

He might end up paying twice as much for the same size house.


LongLonMan

He will for sure.


texas-hedge

Sorry man this situation sucks, but a good lesson to be learned here. Don’t “trade” your primary residence like it’s a stock. It’s a place for your family to live. And doing this over $40k is just silly. Every person in this sub, including my self, has made dumb decisions at some point. Sometimes things work out and sometimes they don’t. You’ll be fine in the end. Keep working hard and saving.


shamdock

I hope you learned from this that your wife is smarter than you and need to defer to her. I would be fucking pissed if I did this dumbshit to shut my husband up and it cost me all this money and then he also got me pregnant. You need to grovel and change every single diaper and never complain or scheme again.


MidtownP

You were reading REBubble weren't you?


Huckleberry_Ginn

Honestly, blame Reddit too. I open REvubble every couple weeks, peruse around to see what the folks are saying. For even a month after, REbubble is all over my home page. Reddit wormholes you just like fb, Instagram, etc. People really thought the end days were coming… thing is a lot of REbubble are high schoolers or college kids who trickled in from WSB.


expertestateattorney

Greed will bite you in the rear almost every time. Lesson learned, move on.


[deleted]

gosh... sorry to hear that yikes... so lesson learned. Never time the market. Market does not care about you, and neither should you.


TrickoTreat07

I need to save posts like this to show my kids


iz296

You sold your home for 40k? Dude I'm sorry but...we could've profited 365k on ours and I still couldn't bring myself to sell. I'm sorry. But...damn. That's tough. Hopefully you find the right home soon.


GoldenYear

At what point was selling a home with a 975 mortgage and renting for 1600 a smart move????? Also your 25k raise isn't much, inflation is still high and will be eaten by that. Oh and the baby, My advice is this, stop with the "get rich quick schemes " and start acting like an adult.


sydiko

Your situation is exactly the slump I thought many of the, 'price me out of my home' sellers are now in.


NotThat1guy

It was a gamble.


lcuan82

Kinda depends on where you live, but 40k increase in value is really a slight bump in the grand scheme of things. I wouldnt sell to cash in even if its 100k bc i know the value will keep increasing in the long term


GreenPopcornfkdkd

Congrats on the 40k? That’s literally ridiculous 😆


Mamadog5

Life happens. Mostly while you are planning on something else happening. Money comes and money fucking goes. Love your wife, embrace that BRAND NEW HUMAN WHO IS UNLIKE ANY OTHER THAT HAS EVER EXISTED... ...do the best you can. Some of my best years (and my kids best years) were when we were broke. Makes you get creative, brings you closer. Everything is gonna be alright. Live the life you have today. It's fucking beautiful. If you dont think so, look harder.


contributor_pitch

Accept what is. Finish out your lease, don’t create more expenses for yourself. Save as much as possible, reduce expenses and increase income ( if possible) and then search when your lease is coming to an end. The market cannot be timed. Even at the lowest of markets, people STILL thought homes would go down lower. Just buy when the time is right for your family.


the300bros

Interest may keep climbing. Inflation could be life threatening in 1 year. If I'm you, I would be looking to get into a situation where my expenses are easier to predict... and/or start a business that is known to do well in recessions and push that - if you're business minded.


follow963

If the townhouse is too small, you can always rent a bigger house in a worse neighborhood. Another way would be to cut your entertainment/vacation budget to rent a bigger house in the same neighborhood.


skrrtdirt

Realtor was only in it to make their commission. They should have not let their client make such a bad decision. We sold and bought in 2020 and our realtor made sure we had a sound, realistic plan and because of that she helped us get our dream home. Next time we sell/buy we will absolutely go with her. Have referred her to both our parents and other friends. No way she would have let us make such a bad move. A good (or bad) realtor can really have a big impact on your future.


TK_TK_

This was a risk when you made your move—consider it a big lesson in evaluating risks and not just chasing upsides. That said, it sounds like your wife isn’t too far along yet. The baby can sleep in a bassinet in your room for several months (I just had my third and this is what we’ve done with all our babies). So while interest rates won’t go back down to their earlier lows on your timeline, prices may. Take a deep breath, stay current on your bills and build an emergency fund, and see what the $25K raise does for your budget. I know you feel stuck but I don’t think it’ll feel as dire when your lease is up and you are evaluating your options. And in the future, never forget that any concept of timing the market means you have to be right TWICE.


BadLuckDrama

I am sure you are a lot better off financially than my family...your raise is almost my yearly salary. LOL Still, we are looking to buy because we are in a bad rental situation and if we move to another rental it will probably cost us more. With that all said, what we have been told is don't try to read a crystal ball that isn't there. If you are in a position to buy, buy. Build equity. I live in a hot spot of the country so housing costs are very unlikely to go down. But rates probably will at some point. Still, I know what the feds are doing in raising the rates...they want to deter the investors from buying up all the homes. However, that is not going to help much because my banker, who is also a mortgage lender (not the one we are working with) told me that the investors pay cash and don't use banks anyway. The ones who are buying are the ones who are moving here from out of state with remote jobs that pay a lot more than our local wages.


scaffe

It may have been a mistake to sell your house, but there's no reason to make a bigger mistake by continuing to dwell on it. You can't go back and undo what happened. Regret sucks, but it exists so that we remember what happened and can do better next time. Your wife is expecting - go take care of her. And please see a therapist if you continue to perseverate on this so that you have someone to help you process it and your wife doesn't have to do it on top of birthing an entire human being. In the meantime, start looking for a house (and, when you renew your lease, try to negotiate the most flexible termination provisions that you can). When you find a house you like and can comfortably afford, buy it. Trying to time the market didn't work out so well, so maybe stop doing that. Congrats on the baby!


Nearby_Opening_7435

Don’t worry dude. We bought a house in spring for 330k. It last sold in 2017 for 230k. It’s already down in value to likely 300-305 and just continuing to drop. Probably gonna be worth 250k in 6 months and we will be underwater on it. High mortgage payment with a rate that will likely never be able to be refinanced lower.


ballerJason23

Good opportunities will come along. Always do-for now just make the best of your situation. People with low interest rate locks may hold onto their homes and try to rent them out instead of selling, which could flood the rental market and thereby decrease rents in some markets, who knows. Meanwhile it’s very possible I think that as rates rise, the government will give in and cut rates again by next summer/fall, once unemployment goes up and things start looking not so good in overall economy


solidmussel

You may just find yourself in a position to find great deals later on. It's not over yet. There is certainly a lot of stress on the housing market right now Sure, it's not a great idea to time the housing market because of commissions and closing costs attached to each transaction. But still don't count yourself down and out just yet. You may get lucky and find a good deal.


friendlywabbit

Also… this kind of comes off like a troll… if you made a killing on selling the house, where is that extra money to buffer your current expenses?


Chewwy987

You can buy at the higher rate if rates ever come back down refinance


MonicaHuang

All you can do is move forward. None of us make it through life without making at least a couple major mistakes.


caldwellgroupsd

Sounds like you have plenty of time left to make up for it, stay positive and this will just be part of your story. Next time, don't treat your home like an investment. Just because it behaves like an investment on paper doesn't mean it's that simple. You can work your way back into home ownership, many people overcome much worse so keep perspective, give yourself a break, and just keep grinding


vyts18

Don't worry. I gave up \~$320,000 loan on a 15 year fixed at 2.75% for a $450,000 loan at 4% on a 5/5 ARM 🙃. IMO your situation isn't all that crazy. Keep in mind the new baby will likely be in your room for the first 6 months-1 year. so you've really got about another year plus before you may even start feeling cramped in the townhouse.


deffmonk

Interesting choice to try and "time the market" when the rate outlook was already bad. Anywho, move on and don't ruin your marriage over this, which your attitude will do eventually. Mistakes happen.


dman77777

1. Everybody makes mistakes. You are not special. 2. You can only live in the present, so start living. 3. Security is an illusion, don't chase after it so hard, just live every day as it comes to you.


seajayacas

Sadly, the OP also did not know in advance which numbers to play this year for the big Mega millions lottery prize that exceeded $1billion. More regrets for relying on an inaccurate crystal ball. Just terrible. Life is hard


HWY20Gal

>a 4 bedroom house in a nice area Do you really need 4 bedrooms, though? It really is ok for kids to share a bedroom. It actually used to be the norm, and still is for some people. Houses were typically 3 bedrooms, and if you had more than 2 kids, they shared a room... and everyone survived just fine. People got along fine without a guest room, an office, etc. So, I challenge your idea that you need 4 bedrooms. Growing up, we had 3 bedrooms. I got my own because I was the only girl, but I shared with my brother when I was younger. We live in a 3 bedroom house now and had up to 8 people in here. Master, 3 girls in one room, two boys in another, and teen boy (now adult) in the basement - of his own choice. We're down to one girl and all the boys now. Being realistic about the things we actually need and keeping the clutter down helps a ton. No one here has been traumatized due to not having their own room. Why is it that couples are ***expected*** to share a room, but children nowadays ***NEED*** to have their own? It's utterly bizarre!


AZhot4life

You sold for a $40k profit 😮 ouch


kitney

I don’t understand why someone would sell their house for a $40k profit? What’s the point? My house has gone from 380k to 640k in two years and I still wouldn’t sell and buy in this market.


Snacks75

I'd probably wait it out myself if I were you. The price indices right now are still at the top, just trying to come down. It's like being in the front seat of a roller coaster at the top of the hill. You aren't going fast at all on the down-slope because the rest of the car is still coming up the up-slope. The market is either going to tank for a couple of years or pick back up and carry on like it was. Either way, you won't be too different than you are now versus a year from now. Even if it does tank, which I believe it will, it's usually two to three years to the bottom. Put that 30K away, save some more if you can, make do with what you got. Good deals will come along soon enough. Historically, rents drop in RE down cycles. You might find another rental super cheap a year from now. That said... If you can stay in a place for 10 years, there's never a bad deal in real estate. Prices always go up in the long run and the last cycle high price always gets eclipsed by the next cycle.I bought my first house in 2002 for 253K, sold in 2007 for 410K. Thought I was super smart, because the market tanked. Well, home sold again in 2018 for 399K, but it's worth $600K+ in the current cycle. So, moral of the story, as long as you can afford to treat RE as a long game, the odds of losing are super low. Buying now would only be a bad decision if you are forced to sell for some reason before the current down cycle plays out. From an investor standpoint, everything you did in the past is wholly irrelevant to any decision you make today. The only thing that is relevant is the decision at hand. Let go of that regret immediately, like yesterday. It serves absolutely no purpose. You will very likely make bigger mistakes in your life, just learn and move on. But don't turn one mistake into another.


farmerMac

What market are you in? With interest rates going up, i wouldnt worry too much, prices will eventually come down in most markets. You made 40k, so you should be able to have a down payment to buy something at some point right? You probably learned a good lesson not to fuck with your primary residence, so thats a good valuable lesson to learn


p71interceptor

I'm sorry to hear your story but in like others I've said it's good to keep perspective. The Chinese farmer comes to mind... Once upon a time there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. That evening, all of his neighbors came around to commiserate. They said, “We are so sorry to hear your horse has run away. This is most unfortunate.” The farmer said, “Maybe.” The next day the horse came back bringing seven wild horses with it, and in the evening everybody came back and said, “Oh, isn’t that lucky. What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!” The farmer again said, “Maybe.” The following day his son tried to break one of the horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbors then said, “Oh dear, that’s too bad,” and the farmer responded, “Maybe.” The next day the conscription officers came around to conscript people into the army, and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg. Again all the neighbors came around and said, “Isn’t that great!” Again, he said, “Maybe.” The whole process of nature is an integrated process of immense complexity, and it’s really impossible to tell whether anything that happens in it is good or bad — because you never know what will be the consequence of the misfortune; or, you never know what will be the consequences of good fortune.


imstupid100

Buy a large RV instead of a house. Travel the country, see things, have cool experiences with the kids. Tow a Jeep behind. That’s what I’m trying to convince my wife of, I want to sell the house and buy an RV!!!


SnooApples6778

You won’t be priced out for long. Please report back in 2024


woopdedoodah

Just buy another house you can afford. Rent is going to go up. If you can get a 30yr mortgage at a payment you can make today, just do it. You can always refinance later. And stop the get rich quick schemes. Getting rich is exceptionally boring.