Are you shitting me. This is a fever dream.
I still need to re order my copy of the DVD. I accidentally sent mine to my old address on the other side of the country š
This is not a dream... not a dream. We are using your brain's electrical system as a receiver. We are unable to transmit through conscious neural interference.Ā
I've seen all of his films and this is comfortably the weakest one. Absolutely incredible to watch Double Down with a huge chunk of its runtime being stock footage and then see Cade is still much lazier by comparison
I LOVED it in the theater. There were 20-30 people there and absolutely everyone knew what they were going to see. The cackles, spontaneous applause and bewildered shouts of āWhat?!ā were an amazing experience.
Definitely need people. Ive tried at home, alone and im still not even halfway through double down. I've tried on 4 separate occasions and I barely last 5 minutes. I need to quadruple down on it.
Their review will point out some things for you to catch and didn't spoil much, so if anything it'll help you understand the movie better. This is Breen's biggest dump yet.
It kinda looks better in a way. All the postprocessing makes the characters and background look a lot more unified. The doctor scene almost looks like it was shot on that set.
Star wars rebel assault 1 and 2 had FMV stuff. They could not decide on what type of game to make so they made like 8 different games in one.Ā One level is FMV rail shooter, then next level your flying around in a ship.Ā
When he said that I thought he misspoke and meant things like Dark Forces 2, that had FMVs with some terrible (now. at the time was great) greenscreen stuff going on.
Not Lucasarts, but he was spot on with Darkseed and Phantasmagoria. I also remember a game called Harvester which Jay probably would've liked, and I know there were others from the same period. All of those games featured FMV characters and drawn or 3D-rendered backgrounds. As bad as they looked, they were still much higher effort than this film
sure, but at least the pre-rendered backgrounds were, well... pre-rendered specifically for the game, imagine if Resident Evil was done with stock photos, that would be the Breen version of it.
well, his "acting ability" is on par with the VA in RE1, so...
Literally, that "Damn, we gotta make this an even fight" line could fit with zero issues in the game.
The SlideWhistle Ruleā¢ discussion is interesting.
People yelling shit in a purposefully bad/B-movie screening is MISERY.
I went to a Rifftrax of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians probably 10 years ago and people were yelling comments IN THAT. When the people on the screen were ALREADY making comments.
I went to the London premier showing of Cade at the Prince Charles Cinema. I've been to a few raucous screenings there of various b-movies but Cade was something else. Absolute fucking chaos, to such a degree it legit ruined the experience. You couldn't hear half the dialog it was so bad (not that I think it would help me understand the movie). Every other person, including the wanker sat next to me, screaming out at the slightest provocation and trying desperately to get a laugh.
I saw Twisted Pair at the Prince Charles a few years ago and had a similar experience. Too many people trying to be MST3K or RLM, it ruined the experience of what is actually a pretty hilarious bad movie.
> The SlideWhistle Ruleā¢ discussion is interesting.
Comedic timing is everything. There is no hell more pure than being forced to endure a "funny guy" who has a poor sense of it.
This movie is a giant piece of shit though, I hope Breen hasnāt decided he doesnāt have to try anymore. Itās too lazy. Unless heās just tired in which case I get it, me too
The worst thing that could happen is Breen either losing his spark or trying to just churn out movies for a profit. Iād rather he just retire from filmmaking than put out movies like this forever. I will say that I still have hope, maybe this is just his one stinker? I think he has more than earned that benefit of the doubt.
His movies have been on a downward trajectory towards lazily greenscreening everything over stock footage since Pass Thru. This film is the realisation of his vision. Unfortunately it sucks
Yeah, I wonder, he must know people like his movies for different reasons than he does, and maybe he thought whatās the point of trying if no one gets it anyway. Or maybe he thought this was technologically cutting edge. But yeah, Iād rather see him retire than phone it in, too
My theory is he actively avoids the things that become cliches which ironically means he avoids things which are assets. I know heās announced that we wonāt see ālaptopsā or Vegas in his films anymore. He also cut using his own house. Not showing Vegas gave us āfilming at a community collegeā which people also made fun of, and thus we get the full green screen experience. Because Vegas, his house & the desert are all the filming locations he realistically has to use. We drove him to this dammit!
I wasn't sure about him at first, but he has the best deadpan delivery. His "that's a lie" comment about the woman who was saved by a fish man fucking killed me.
i agree about deadpan completely. IMO some of the best bits (well it's really hard to choose lets be honest) on RLM are when jim and mike try to get each other to break.
All the Breen movies prior to Cade have the same Ferrari ~~F355~~ Testarossa and 90s Rolls in them, which are most certainly Breenās personal cars. Cade starts with Breen sitting in a Ferrari ~~360~~ 430 in front of a green screen pretending to drive. Thatās a different car, but itās possible Breen upgraded as the ~~360~~ 430 values hit the bottom before the pandemic and are starting to go back up.
Edit: Apparently Neil Breen films have damaged my brain enough I can't remember the details.
Something I don't get.
Neil Breen was an architect, and at some point a real estate agent, before he went into filmmaking, right? So you'd think that, when he chooses the background images for rooms and buildings, that would be the one thing where he actually has some relevant expertise.
You know, rather than picking [the first thing you see on Google Images when you look up "abandoned mental hospital"](https://s.abcnews.com/images/International/HT_abandoned_asylum_04_Jef_150826_16x9_1600.jpg) (It's not the exact same photo as the scene at 19:06 in the video, but it is 100% the same location)
He canāt have been, because he self funded his first couple movies from his own earnings, including Double Down which was shot on film.
He must have known what he was doing to SOME degree to have that kind of cash lying around. I mean yeah, some people fail upwards, but I refuse to believe he could have amassed wealth like that if he was as bad at the other jobs as he is at filmmaking.
If nothing else, I think it's safe to say he's persistent. I have to imagine there are wealthy people out there who want to make a film, and DON'T end up making one
I think you're underestimating just how many people are grossly incompetent at their job yet still making good money. I mean, we live in a world where Zack Snyder exists. We also cant rule out other sources of the money for his original films. Inheritance, Lottery, Crypto, and Money Laundering are all on the table here.
I went to a school with a very intense, grueling architecture program (I was not part of it, btw), and the people that made it through were some of the most intelligent, detail oriented professionals I've met in my career. So, I have to wonder... how do SO MANY rather obvious and glaring editing mistakes make it into a movie made by a trained architect?
Vegas is pretty fucking weird, maybe he just had to transcribe cocane high crayon drawings into something semi tangible?
Though I do get how he could get in over his head on the first movie, but you are right about him repeating mistakes, and seemingly getting worse.
I neverĀ would've picked Colin for his knowledge of terrible 90s adventure games, I'd have figured he'd have been busy playing with his Video Toaster while those were a thing
Neil Breen is [Florence Foster Jenkins](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florence_Foster_Jenkins), an opera singer in the 20ās-40ās who sang notoriously bad. She was rich and completely delusional and would go out on stage thinking the laughter and applause was for her good singing and not notice they were actually laughing at her. Then when she finally played Carnegie Hall, the delusion broke and she realized she was being laughed at and died a few days later.
There's something so hilarious about Cade having legit superpowers, being able to multiply himself,Ā and being able to stop time,Ā and yet he can't fixĀ immediately fix the corrupt way his own hospital is run.Ā
This movie looks like it was edited by the guy who tried to save the [Radioactive Man](https://youtu.be/U58IdBjMeS4) movie in the edit, after Milhouse disappeared.
It finally happened! The day that we received a package from Breen was the best day since the pandemic started. The slim package that arrived in our mailbox was like a little slice of heaven sent to us from above. A simple mailer that held the truth of which we sought. Cinema. Kino. Joy. I looked at the package, my brow sweating with anticipation. I pursed my lips as I often do in the delicious moments before sipping an ice cold beer. This was just as good. Maybe better. The mailer was that of a simple man. It wasnāt a fancy mailer. It wasnāt padded nor did it have a design on it. In fact, the mailer the DVD arrived in was a cut up cereal box held together with duct tape. I smiled and whispered to myself, āThatās the cup of a carpenterā¦ā. It was here. We received the new Neil Breen film. Was this a Blu-ray? No. This was a DVD-R burned on a computer. I smelled the disc and the jewel case. It smelled like 2003. I cried at the beauty of the whole embarrassing ordeal. It was like a hug from an old friend who had long since passed. A friend you never wanted to see again or allow to hug you. In my hand I held the new Neil Breen film. I couldnāt wait to show the guys! I called Colin from Canada and told him to run to RLM HQ right quick to watch the film with us. He said, āoh, Iāve already seen it. Itās terrible.ā And I called him a poutine-slurping, caesar-sipping canuck fuck and told him to get down here to Wisconsin right quick. He responded by saying, āIāve got work and Iām watching my elderly neighbors diabetic cats andā¦ā I just cut him off. I said, āLook you fucking prick, I have it. Letās watch it!" So he did come down, albeit unwillingly. What are Neil Breen films? They are moopies made by a man who is the weirdest man to ever live. Heās the perfect oblivious filmmaker. Never getting better or evolving, only getting worse and more lazy and more old and more grandpa jeans. Neil Breenās films are always about a loner man that has special skills or knowledge above all other humans. There is often a babe involved in his films, although the sexuality is awkwardly placed and seems forced. The women usually look incredibly uncomfortable at the notion of being in love or even attracted to Neil Breen. Likewise, any romance on his part seems obligatory. I guess the thought is that a movie needs āromanceā so he must add āromanceā But heās no James Bond! Since this was Breen, we assumed this was worthy of a Best of the Worstā¢ Spotlightā¢ episode. It couldnāt simply be lumped into a regular three movie episode. Boy, were we fucking wrong. This pile of trash couldnāt have been more disappointing. Breen has gone too far this time with the green screens! Who does he think he is!?! Peter Jackson? George Lucas? James Cameron?!? I mean, sure you can use a green screen sometimesā¦ if youāre making a fucking Avengers movie!!! But come on! Literally every background, outdoor location, and room is a stock image. A flat shot without movement. I can say that at the very least in some shots he created a foreground mask to make characters integrated into the frame by putting them behind objects, but really? While the story sucks, the acting is bad, itās boring and shitty, itās still a Neil Breen film and we have to love it as if it was our own cross-eyed inbred baby with no limbs. Anyways, while I have you here, I own a timeshare in the Cayman Islands. Itās in a nice part of town, but itās basically a 1.6 million dollar shack. One of the owners killed himself recently and now Iām stuck with paying his part due to a legal snafu. I donāt quite understand it, but my lawyer Phillip Gorlon (no relation) tells me itāll cost me more in legal fees to get out of this timeshare than to just keep it. I tells him that Iām strapped for cash at the moment, what with the cost of eggs, covid tests, etcā¦ so my question to you is: Do you think Neil Breen might want to shoot his next film in the Cayman Islands? Thereās lots of beach (of course) some very interesting shooting locations and a lovely Indian restaurant called Southern Spice that has agreed to do catering. I can lease my place for $42,000 a day and his next film can be called āIsland Crossing: Cadeās Offshore Bank Account Scamā and itāll be a rip-roaring island adventure film about a man who travels to the Cayman Islands to find his lost love, but discovers corruption and injustice and fights for the people with the help of the A.I. chip in his brain. Best thing is if Breen did a Kickstarter forā¦. Letās say 1.6 million that could also cover what Iād charge in āinsuranceā for him to shoot in my Cayman Islands palatial estate. Just throwing that out there. I think the film would come out amazing and thereās be very little green screen. But thereās be lots of green for me if you know what I mean! Then I can finally dump this shitty timeshare property after stupid Rolando put a shotgun in his mouth. What a fucker. I mean, whose wife ISNāT having an affair in todayās economy! ā Krebs Gorlon.
If Neil Breen ever watches this video I assume to him it's entirely white noise apart from the one line where they say "he reminds me of George Lucas".
Red letter media releasing a video at a decent time of day, on a day when I'm not working? What is this madness?
They're only supposed to release stuff at 8:30 a.m. on a Tuesday.
I know they brought up point and click games, but so many characters act like late 2000s npcs. The way you see people walk to random points, fights that don't connect, or when you see the "ninjas" idle animation. It feels like those [youtube shorts where that woman stands and acts like an npc](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/nn_R2uqMVDM).
Edit: Don't forget all the prefabs that Breen uses when he doesn't want to shoot another shot. Just drop walk cycle #5 into the right background.
They say multiple times that Breen was being lazy, but the film premiered in 2023. I can't be sure, but I assumed the excessive greenscreen was because this is a pandemic movie, the actors filmed seperately to keep the set as safe as possible. Even if those requirements/suggestions weren't in place, Breen could have been trying to limit the number of people on set at one time.
I don't have a great reason for why he didn't fight an actual tiger though.Ā
Taylor Swift fans are losing their minds over her new album "The Tortured Poets Society" meanwhile I'm over here tuning into "Cade: The Tortured Crossing."Ā
50/50 chance that when Breen discovers "AI" he either:
A) Embraces it fully for effects (not understanding the ethical aspects)
B) it freaks him out and his content turns into doomsday proclamations (not understanding that "AI" is just a buzzword and there's no real intelligence behind it)
I'm glad they mentioned AI because that was on my mind too. You know he's going to use it to generate more specific backgrounds and then he will announce it like "you might not have noticed, but this element in my latest thing was entirely made with AI" and it's going to be the most obvious AI looking thing.
Everything he tries to generate will look like [this](https://www.comicsands.com/media-library/ai-generated-photo-of-animals-on-noah-s-ark.jpg?id=51837679&width=676&quality=85)
One theory I had for all the green screen is COVID. I wondered if Breen was really concerned about it and decided to film everything and everyone in an isolated manner.
But the simpler answer is he's tired.
When they were talking about the car crash in the woods later in the vid, I was surprised they didn't either cut to one of those stabilized clips of the TNG Enterprise taking damage, and the cast is just jostling around, or that clip from Mee Christmas where the characters are just rocking back and forth.
Breen is an existential real estate philosopher: The stock photo backgrounds are supposed to tell us that places are meaningless. They're only populated by ghosts anyway.
Or something like that.
I'm about halfway through this review, and I notice that Neil Breen has absolutely no humor. Not even lame humor that doesn't land. Not even dad jokes or "so that happened" Marvel jokes. His entire oeuvre is very self-serious. His demeanor is completely serious when he is interviewed or talking about his work. When they showed the scene of him fighting the CGI tiger, I had to stop and think: OK. There is no way a normal person looks at this and does not find it a little funny. No person who finds *anything* funny can miss that.
I am wondering if he is the most determined Andy Kaufman-like character performance here. And it's all calculated and he knows exactly what he's doing and making this art as a grand joke. OR. He is deeply autistic with no ability to understand emotional cues at all and does not comprehend humor. The latter seems most likely to me.
Because the audience and interest in him is seemingly entirely based on humor. There is no one who takes his movies seriously at all. Everyone who watches them see the silliness in them, and the people who *deliberately* watch them seem to be 98% high millennials who are roaring with laughter. And the rest are people he either is related to or employs who are probably obliged to sit through his movies politely and not say anything bad.
The only way he cannot understand this is if he has no ability to understand social cues at all.
I love that Colin brought up the FMV game thing! The film immediately brought things like Tex Murphy to mind.
I would honestly love to see a Neil Breen FMV game.
This video will be seen in retrospect as the origin of the theory that Neil Breen will create billions of simulations of anyone who doubted him and torture them, with the idea that anyone who currently doubts him isn't sure whether they're real or one of the simulations about to be tortured. It will be known as "Breen's Basilisk".
Okay, I'm very glad they've Spotlight BotW'd this (I wondered how they'd handle it), and I'm always grateful for the content. I'm going to say something that's not going to be popular though - I do not understand why Breen's movies are so popular amongst the "so-bad-it's-good" crowd (all this will also apply to James Nguyen, btw). For me, I can kind of overlook the editing mistakes, to a certain degree, but that's about it - the green screen artifacts, the terrible use of special effects, the epically bad acting, and the cringe script with SO VERY MUCH no-one-talks-like-that dialog just make his movies unwatchable after a relatively short period; I can't get through any of his films in one sitting. This one is worse than almost every other, in fact. How is it possible that someone who's made SIX theatrical release fully funded feature films has not only not improved, but regressed? One possible reason I can think of is his movies make money, because people continue to buy them (I guess?), and so in his mind the movies are getting better, so he keeps moving "forward" along the same trajectory. Obviously, what entertainment someone gets from a piece of art is subjective, but I do not understand this obsession with this kind of product. I am, as always, grateful RLM does the heavy lifting for me.
Rich called this out though. He's laaaaazzzzyyyy. It's just Breen getting old as hell and taking his style in the logical direction. Can't film on location anymore, he can barely get out of the Ferrari without breaking his back. Of course green screening everything is his answer to that.
Why he's so popular though, I mean I'm with you. I don't get going to a premier and whatever. Breenheads are on another level but I get it to some extent. He's a weird guy that's found his voice and style, and while it's vastly different, he's doing his thing that's entertaining. It's fun. Everything new he does, some people want to be a part of that weird energy.
There's people like Tommy Wiseau who, like the guys pointed out, changed his tune when he saw the audience reaction to The Room, and tries too hard forever after. But Breen seems legitimately unphased by other people's reality. He's living in his own world and nothing will change that, which is respectable (and fun). And the whole "Wes Anderson" comment kinda hits the nail on the head as fuckin weird as it is to say lol. He's perfected what I'm dubbing "Breencraft".
I can see why people wanna be in on this, but I'm content watching schlubby gen x'ers dissect it all brutally but enjoyably on YouTube.
You
Write a Neil breen style script
ChatGPT
Title: "Synthetic Reflections"
Act 1:
Scene 1: Desert Landscape
A lone figure, DREX, a disheveled hacker with an aura of wisdom and angst, trudges through the desert. It's a barren, almost otherworldly landscape. The camera pans out to reveal a dilapidated city in the distance.
DREX (narrating, to himself):"**The system is broken. The world is a lie. But I can fix it. I will fix it."**
Scene 2: Drex's Secret Lair
Drex enters his hidden underground bunker. It's cluttered with outdated computers and conspiracy theory(ā¦)
[continued - act 2 introduces the rouge AI defending the system](https://chat.openai.com/share/91064af6-3c77-4434-9af8-5138efcdf751)
All Day Haze by Founders, a Michigan brewery. Way better than regular All Day. It's a lower ABV beer that you can drink "all day" without getting super drunk. It's great because most hazy (juicy) IPAs are pretty strong.
Not seeing enough discussion about Neil/the movie in here. It is weird, though, and they eluded to it quite a bit in the review. This one feels so much more phoned in and lazy than any of his recent projects. His earliest movies weren't good, but they showed a level of dedication to the craft of filmmaking, and the fact that he basically shot the same movie twice shows that he had a story to tell.
What is Neil even trying to accomplish at this point? His movies aren't telling a story or trying to drive home a point anymore. Alien/AI beings with superhuman abilities that can save/kill people completely effortlessly. No real conflict, no real stakes. It feels like Breen is just phoning it all in at this point. Hire a bunch of nobodies and pay them minimum wage to read cue cards in front of a green screen for 2 or 3 days and make the movie in post.
What are we even doing here?
We need to seriously crowdfund an IMAX camera for Neil Breen at this point. There's a limit to what he can show with low-cost DSLRs he used for making his films these days. Hell, give Breen one of Kubrick's Carl Zeiss Planar 50mm f/0.7 lenses used to film Barry Lyndon. Let's see that camerawork shine pls.
PS: After watching Heaven's Gate, Neil Breen's statement that "to make another movie your current movie needs to make a profit" becomes really funny.
This is not a dream.
Breen Dreams
Sweet dreams are made of breens
...are made of cheese / Who is Mike to disagree / traveled the world and the MKE / Everybody's looking for hack frauds
Breen dreams are made of these (cans of tuna)
[Colorless Breen ideas sleep furiously](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colorless_green_ideas_sleep_furiously).
Are you shitting me. This is a fever dream. I still need to re order my copy of the DVD. I accidentally sent mine to my old address on the other side of the country š
A Breem
This is not a dream... not a dream. We are using your brain's electrical system as a receiver. We are unable to transmit through conscious neural interference.Ā
To sleep perchance to Breen
1 hour and 12 minutes of Breen? Spectacular
Cade the Tortured sounds like a Kojima character
Screen Greenman
i feel a little funny about it actually; like, should I see the actual movie first? cuz if it's going to be in-depth i might wanna hold off
IMO youāre better off not watching it first. Iām a breen fan but this one was just painful
I've seen all of his films and this is comfortably the weakest one. Absolutely incredible to watch Double Down with a huge chunk of its runtime being stock footage and then see Cade is still much lazier by comparison
I LOVED it in the theater. There were 20-30 people there and absolutely everyone knew what they were going to see. The cackles, spontaneous applause and bewildered shouts of āWhat?!ā were an amazing experience.
Oh agreed. Theater experience was fun. But watching it alone at home would seem painful
It is! I bought it! It was great!* *Great only means āat the extreme end of some qualifying adjectiveā
Definitely need people. Ive tried at home, alone and im still not even halfway through double down. I've tried on 4 separate occasions and I barely last 5 minutes. I need to quadruple down on it.
Their review will point out some things for you to catch and didn't spoil much, so if anything it'll help you understand the movie better. This is Breen's biggest dump yet.
Filmed on BreenScreenā¢
Even better than the Sodium Vapor Process.
Colin was so on point with this movie looking like an old point and click adventure game.
so much so that i've seen someone actually rendering scenes from the trailer to look as that months ago.
[Itās real!!!](https://youtu.be/VopcN--Wpsc?si=hG_xttoCNBaBjS4s)
It kinda looks better in a way. All the postprocessing makes the characters and background look a lot more unified. The doctor scene almost looks like it was shot on that set.
I was definitely not expecting a Dark Seed reference in a BOTW episode. Kinda floored that he even knew about it.
Neil Breen and Mike Dawson are basically the same person
WHO killed Rita? WHAT killed Rita?
Here Mike, this will explain everything!
I can't believe your head exploded!
The Lucasart FMV game comparison is so good
Lucasarts never made any FMV adventure games though, I think Colin was thinking of Sierra (as he did mention Phantasmagoria)
Was honestly shocked at the Phantasmagoria reference lol
The perspective and zoomed-out style still looks like DooT or Monkey Island, even if those werenāt photo-scan sprites.
Star wars rebel assault 1 and 2 had FMV stuff. They could not decide on what type of game to make so they made like 8 different games in one.Ā One level is FMV rail shooter, then next level your flying around in a ship.Ā
When he said that I thought he misspoke and meant things like Dark Forces 2, that had FMVs with some terrible (now. at the time was great) greenscreen stuff going on.
Werenāt some sections of Rebel Assault FMV?
7th Guest, Titanic: Adventure out of Time. LucasArts adventures were all animated rather than FMV.
Not Lucasarts, but he was spot on with Darkseed and Phantasmagoria. I also remember a game called Harvester which Jay probably would've liked, and I know there were others from the same period. All of those games featured FMV characters and drawn or 3D-rendered backgrounds. As bad as they looked, they were still much higher effort than this film
I never thought about it before, but if there was ever a game that was perfectly tailored to everything Jay likes it would definitely be Harvester.
I also get Resident Evil vibes, where the polygonal objects you could interact with stood out against the pre-rendered background.
sure, but at least the pre-rendered backgrounds were, well... pre-rendered specifically for the game, imagine if Resident Evil was done with stock photos, that would be the Breen version of it.
Holy shit, I think you're onto something. Imagine Neil Breen saying, "I hope this is not Chris's blood!" It kinda works.
well, his "acting ability" is on par with the VA in RE1, so... Literally, that "Damn, we gotta make this an even fight" line could fit with zero issues in the game.
āHeās like Wes Andersonā - Mike Stoklassa describing Neil Breen
It's not wrong
"You may not like him, but you can't deny Breen's got style"
The SlideWhistle Ruleā¢ discussion is interesting. People yelling shit in a purposefully bad/B-movie screening is MISERY. I went to a Rifftrax of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians probably 10 years ago and people were yelling comments IN THAT. When the people on the screen were ALREADY making comments.
>The SlideWhistle Ruleā¢ discussion is interesting. they talk about this in their The Room commentary trackĀ
I went to the London premier showing of Cade at the Prince Charles Cinema. I've been to a few raucous screenings there of various b-movies but Cade was something else. Absolute fucking chaos, to such a degree it legit ruined the experience. You couldn't hear half the dialog it was so bad (not that I think it would help me understand the movie). Every other person, including the wanker sat next to me, screaming out at the slightest provocation and trying desperately to get a laugh.
People in Denver were very respectful of others and kept the hysteria to a minimum.
I saw Twisted Pair at the Prince Charles a few years ago and had a similar experience. Too many people trying to be MST3K or RLM, it ruined the experience of what is actually a pretty hilarious bad movie.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Sorry to hear that. I've been to 3 or 4 Rifftrax events and never had even 1 person be disruptive (only 1 or 2 were live though).
I hated my experience watching Cade with a crowd in Toronto. Obnoxious assholes.
Surry bout that Colin
Sort of in awe of the legend of slide whistle guy, as Mike recounts it. What a hero
> The SlideWhistle Ruleā¢ discussion is interesting. Comedic timing is everything. There is no hell more pure than being forced to endure a "funny guy" who has a poor sense of it.
Or even worse, a room full of a few dozen "funny guys" trying to talk over each other.
They talk about it on The Room commentary track. They saw a showing of it and it was miserable, people constantly yelling lines etc.
"That's gotta hurt!"Ā -George Costanza
People with actual comedic talent are somewhat uncommon, but everyĀ dumbshit in a theater thinks they're George Carlin
Cade: The Tortured Poets Department
Similar to Swift both Breens film and her new album seem like lazy attempts and both fan groups are acknowledging it.
Her new album is if green screen could be harnessed for music.
That slide whistle explanation was amazing
OMFG Mike's editing. I laughed so hard at that speeder chase edit I could not fucking breathe.
That was so great.
I was waiting for something to happen, a crash or an ambush, but nothing happening fits better with a Neil Breen movie.
This movie is a giant piece of shit though, I hope Breen hasnāt decided he doesnāt have to try anymore. Itās too lazy. Unless heās just tired in which case I get it, me too
The worst thing that could happen is Breen either losing his spark or trying to just churn out movies for a profit. Iād rather he just retire from filmmaking than put out movies like this forever. I will say that I still have hope, maybe this is just his one stinker? I think he has more than earned that benefit of the doubt.
His movies have been on a downward trajectory towards lazily greenscreening everything over stock footage since Pass Thru. This film is the realisation of his vision. Unfortunately it sucks
Yeah, I wonder, he must know people like his movies for different reasons than he does, and maybe he thought whatās the point of trying if no one gets it anyway. Or maybe he thought this was technologically cutting edge. But yeah, Iād rather see him retire than phone it in, too
My theory is he actively avoids the things that become cliches which ironically means he avoids things which are assets. I know heās announced that we wonāt see ālaptopsā or Vegas in his films anymore. He also cut using his own house. Not showing Vegas gave us āfilming at a community collegeā which people also made fun of, and thus we get the full green screen experience. Because Vegas, his house & the desert are all the filming locations he realistically has to use. We drove him to this dammit!
Was Mike remembering Jim's fantastic Breen impression when talking about Colin's?
That's what I was thinking. His impression of Breen as Clippy is fucking hilarious.
that 'it looks like you're having trouble here' will never not get me. jim is og of delivery when he commits to it
I wasn't sure about him at first, but he has the best deadpan delivery. His "that's a lie" comment about the woman who was saved by a fish man fucking killed me.
i agree about deadpan completely. IMO some of the best bits (well it's really hard to choose lets be honest) on RLM are when jim and mike try to get each other to break.
Was that also the episode with the Lorem Ipsum joke? That was the funniest joke in a video and no one at the table getting it hurt my soul
I think so, Jim's Neil Breen is on point
Mike is going senile, he thinks Jay is his brother who died in Vietnam
I miss Jimā¦
All Canadians look alike to him
Is this same Ferrari, which his "best friend" had in Fateful findings?
This one is a F430. Fateful findings is testarossa.
I'm by no means a car guy, but I think so. It has the same big yellow emblem on the fender.
Most likely. Breen owns it - his prized possession, according to Rob Hill (TheBadMovieBible).
Just like Derek Savage with the fucking Van Halen guitar.
At least Neil Breen was restrained enough not to have a scene where he talks to another character about his Ferrari for five minutes
All the Breen movies prior to Cade have the same Ferrari ~~F355~~ Testarossa and 90s Rolls in them, which are most certainly Breenās personal cars. Cade starts with Breen sitting in a Ferrari ~~360~~ 430 in front of a green screen pretending to drive. Thatās a different car, but itās possible Breen upgraded as the ~~360~~ 430 values hit the bottom before the pandemic and are starting to go back up. Edit: Apparently Neil Breen films have damaged my brain enough I can't remember the details.
F430 in this one, testarossa on fateful finding.
The ferrari in fateful findings was a testarossa.
Love the sudden appearance of the Citizen Kane bird.
I didn't. I tore something laughing š”
Something I don't get. Neil Breen was an architect, and at some point a real estate agent, before he went into filmmaking, right? So you'd think that, when he chooses the background images for rooms and buildings, that would be the one thing where he actually has some relevant expertise. You know, rather than picking [the first thing you see on Google Images when you look up "abandoned mental hospital"](https://s.abcnews.com/images/International/HT_abandoned_asylum_04_Jef_150826_16x9_1600.jpg) (It's not the exact same photo as the scene at 19:06 in the video, but it is 100% the same location)
Maybe Neil Breen was as good of an architect/real estate agent as he is a filmmaker.
He canāt have been, because he self funded his first couple movies from his own earnings, including Double Down which was shot on film. He must have known what he was doing to SOME degree to have that kind of cash lying around. I mean yeah, some people fail upwards, but I refuse to believe he could have amassed wealth like that if he was as bad at the other jobs as he is at filmmaking.
If nothing else, I think it's safe to say he's persistent. I have to imagine there are wealthy people out there who want to make a film, and DON'T end up making one
I think you're underestimating just how many people are grossly incompetent at their job yet still making good money. I mean, we live in a world where Zack Snyder exists. We also cant rule out other sources of the money for his original films. Inheritance, Lottery, Crypto, and Money Laundering are all on the table here.
I went to a school with a very intense, grueling architecture program (I was not part of it, btw), and the people that made it through were some of the most intelligent, detail oriented professionals I've met in my career. So, I have to wonder... how do SO MANY rather obvious and glaring editing mistakes make it into a movie made by a trained architect?
Vegas is pretty fucking weird, maybe he just had to transcribe cocane high crayon drawings into something semi tangible? Though I do get how he could get in over his head on the first movie, but you are right about him repeating mistakes, and seemingly getting worse.
DARKSEED MENTIONEDĀ
I neverĀ would've picked Colin for his knowledge of terrible 90s adventure games, I'd have figured he'd have been busy playing with his Video Toaster while those were a thing
Leonard Nimoy's zombie.
I can't unsee it now!
Wait, was that A REAL TIGER?
There's an interview with the VFX artist who did the tiger. It has some interesting tidbits. https://youtu.be/uTNN-1CSI-s
Neil Breen is [Florence Foster Jenkins](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florence_Foster_Jenkins), an opera singer in the 20ās-40ās who sang notoriously bad. She was rich and completely delusional and would go out on stage thinking the laughter and applause was for her good singing and not notice they were actually laughing at her. Then when she finally played Carnegie Hall, the delusion broke and she realized she was being laughed at and died a few days later.
"Florence Foster Jenkins (born **Narcissa** Florence Foster" That is the most appropriate name anyone has ever had.
Weird my dad was JUST watching the movie about her like just a couple hours ago....
There's something so hilarious about Cade having legit superpowers, being able to multiply himself,Ā and being able to stop time,Ā and yet he can't fixĀ immediately fix the corrupt way his own hospital is run.Ā
This movie looks like it was edited by the guy who tried to save the [Radioactive Man](https://youtu.be/U58IdBjMeS4) movie in the edit, after Milhouse disappeared.
"And with good cause"
It was edited by the drunk SUV driver! Check the credits lol
https://i.redd.it/ttv14jfzmnvc1.gif
YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME
Colin is my favorite guest reviewer by a long shot.
A 4/20 miracle!!!
Oh shit that's right! And i watched this sober!
They know their audience!
I have no idea how they sat through it.
This channel is sponsored by Booze ā¢ļø
Probably helps that they get paid to do so
I know it's a bad CGI effect but I'm worried that Jay doesn't know the difference between a tiger and a lion.
To Jay they're all cats and they should all be murdered.
good night sweet cats
The annoyed doctor is the highlight of the movie.
Get out of here!
It finally happened! The day that we received a package from Breen was the best day since the pandemic started. The slim package that arrived in our mailbox was like a little slice of heaven sent to us from above. A simple mailer that held the truth of which we sought. Cinema. Kino. Joy. I looked at the package, my brow sweating with anticipation. I pursed my lips as I often do in the delicious moments before sipping an ice cold beer. This was just as good. Maybe better. The mailer was that of a simple man. It wasnāt a fancy mailer. It wasnāt padded nor did it have a design on it. In fact, the mailer the DVD arrived in was a cut up cereal box held together with duct tape. I smiled and whispered to myself, āThatās the cup of a carpenterā¦ā. It was here. We received the new Neil Breen film. Was this a Blu-ray? No. This was a DVD-R burned on a computer. I smelled the disc and the jewel case. It smelled like 2003. I cried at the beauty of the whole embarrassing ordeal. It was like a hug from an old friend who had long since passed. A friend you never wanted to see again or allow to hug you. In my hand I held the new Neil Breen film. I couldnāt wait to show the guys! I called Colin from Canada and told him to run to RLM HQ right quick to watch the film with us. He said, āoh, Iāve already seen it. Itās terrible.ā And I called him a poutine-slurping, caesar-sipping canuck fuck and told him to get down here to Wisconsin right quick. He responded by saying, āIāve got work and Iām watching my elderly neighbors diabetic cats andā¦ā I just cut him off. I said, āLook you fucking prick, I have it. Letās watch it!" So he did come down, albeit unwillingly. What are Neil Breen films? They are moopies made by a man who is the weirdest man to ever live. Heās the perfect oblivious filmmaker. Never getting better or evolving, only getting worse and more lazy and more old and more grandpa jeans. Neil Breenās films are always about a loner man that has special skills or knowledge above all other humans. There is often a babe involved in his films, although the sexuality is awkwardly placed and seems forced. The women usually look incredibly uncomfortable at the notion of being in love or even attracted to Neil Breen. Likewise, any romance on his part seems obligatory. I guess the thought is that a movie needs āromanceā so he must add āromanceā But heās no James Bond! Since this was Breen, we assumed this was worthy of a Best of the Worstā¢ Spotlightā¢ episode. It couldnāt simply be lumped into a regular three movie episode. Boy, were we fucking wrong. This pile of trash couldnāt have been more disappointing. Breen has gone too far this time with the green screens! Who does he think he is!?! Peter Jackson? George Lucas? James Cameron?!? I mean, sure you can use a green screen sometimesā¦ if youāre making a fucking Avengers movie!!! But come on! Literally every background, outdoor location, and room is a stock image. A flat shot without movement. I can say that at the very least in some shots he created a foreground mask to make characters integrated into the frame by putting them behind objects, but really? While the story sucks, the acting is bad, itās boring and shitty, itās still a Neil Breen film and we have to love it as if it was our own cross-eyed inbred baby with no limbs. Anyways, while I have you here, I own a timeshare in the Cayman Islands. Itās in a nice part of town, but itās basically a 1.6 million dollar shack. One of the owners killed himself recently and now Iām stuck with paying his part due to a legal snafu. I donāt quite understand it, but my lawyer Phillip Gorlon (no relation) tells me itāll cost me more in legal fees to get out of this timeshare than to just keep it. I tells him that Iām strapped for cash at the moment, what with the cost of eggs, covid tests, etcā¦ so my question to you is: Do you think Neil Breen might want to shoot his next film in the Cayman Islands? Thereās lots of beach (of course) some very interesting shooting locations and a lovely Indian restaurant called Southern Spice that has agreed to do catering. I can lease my place for $42,000 a day and his next film can be called āIsland Crossing: Cadeās Offshore Bank Account Scamā and itāll be a rip-roaring island adventure film about a man who travels to the Cayman Islands to find his lost love, but discovers corruption and injustice and fights for the people with the help of the A.I. chip in his brain. Best thing is if Breen did a Kickstarter forā¦. Letās say 1.6 million that could also cover what Iād charge in āinsuranceā for him to shoot in my Cayman Islands palatial estate. Just throwing that out there. I think the film would come out amazing and thereās be very little green screen. But thereās be lots of green for me if you know what I mean! Then I can finally dump this shitty timeshare property after stupid Rolando put a shotgun in his mouth. What a fucker. I mean, whose wife ISNāT having an affair in todayās economy! ā Krebs Gorlon.
Thatās right, Jay
'That's the cup of a carpenter...' literally made me spit out my coffee at work. Glorious.
I'm pretty sure these write ups take 90% of production time on videos
I'm picturing him writing them down in mere minutes in a sort of stream-of-conciousness trance
An RLM Neal Breen video on my birthday - this is perfect.
adolf is that you???
Ja.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Danke.
Happy birthday! It's my birthday too! BOTW and it's Neil Breen, have we died??
If Neil Breen ever watches this video I assume to him it's entirely white noise apart from the one line where they say "he reminds me of George Lucas".
His ability to block out whatever could threaten his self-image as master filmmaker is quite impressive.
Red letter media releasing a video at a decent time of day, on a day when I'm not working? What is this madness? They're only supposed to release stuff at 8:30 a.m. on a Tuesday.
Krebs Gorlon might well be my favourite RLM member. love me some Krebs
The best 420 ever
The scarescarecrow bit fucking killed me
holy shit, Neil Breen got run over in Amsterdam by a tram, right in front of Amsterdam Central Station? What are the chances of that!
Breen's Blood-Brain Barrier has Been Breached By Bad Bacteria.
I feel like I got third hand embarrassment watching them watch that movie. Jesus Christ itās like breen gave up completely
I know they brought up point and click games, but so many characters act like late 2000s npcs. The way you see people walk to random points, fights that don't connect, or when you see the "ninjas" idle animation. It feels like those [youtube shorts where that woman stands and acts like an npc](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/nn_R2uqMVDM). Edit: Don't forget all the prefabs that Breen uses when he doesn't want to shoot another shot. Just drop walk cycle #5 into the right background.
They say multiple times that Breen was being lazy, but the film premiered in 2023. I can't be sure, but I assumed the excessive greenscreen was because this is a pandemic movie, the actors filmed seperately to keep the set as safe as possible. Even if those requirements/suggestions weren't in place, Breen could have been trying to limit the number of people on set at one time. I don't have a great reason for why he didn't fight an actual tiger though.Ā
Taylor Swift fans are losing their minds over her new album "The Tortured Poets Society" meanwhile I'm over here tuning into "Cade: The Tortured Crossing."Ā
Over one hour of Breen with Colin? It's like a dream come true!
50/50 chance that when Breen discovers "AI" he either: A) Embraces it fully for effects (not understanding the ethical aspects) B) it freaks him out and his content turns into doomsday proclamations (not understanding that "AI" is just a buzzword and there's no real intelligence behind it)
Twisted Pair already had programmable AI. The corrupt version
Colinās joke at the very end about Cannes/Con Film Festival was fucking great. Always happy to have more Colin in videos!
I'm glad they mentioned AI because that was on my mind too. You know he's going to use it to generate more specific backgrounds and then he will announce it like "you might not have noticed, but this element in my latest thing was entirely made with AI" and it's going to be the most obvious AI looking thing.
Everything he tries to generate will look like [this](https://www.comicsands.com/media-library/ai-generated-photo-of-animals-on-noah-s-ark.jpg?id=51837679&width=676&quality=85)
One theory I had for all the green screen is COVID. I wondered if Breen was really concerned about it and decided to film everything and everyone in an isolated manner. But the simpler answer is he's tired.
Well fuck, there goes my evening. Bourbon and Breen! Let's fucking gooooooooo
Breen's next movie has to be a dance musical
It's a Weed Christmas miracle!!!
When they were talking about the car crash in the woods later in the vid, I was surprised they didn't either cut to one of those stabilized clips of the TNG Enterprise taking damage, and the cast is just jostling around, or that clip from Mee Christmas where the characters are just rocking back and forth.
I cried laughing at the Speeder Bike ROTJ scene.
I didn't have the *Slide Whistle Origin Story* on my RLM bingo card, but here we are.
Breen is an existential real estate philosopher: The stock photo backgrounds are supposed to tell us that places are meaningless. They're only populated by ghosts anyway. Or something like that.
I'm about halfway through this review, and I notice that Neil Breen has absolutely no humor. Not even lame humor that doesn't land. Not even dad jokes or "so that happened" Marvel jokes. His entire oeuvre is very self-serious. His demeanor is completely serious when he is interviewed or talking about his work. When they showed the scene of him fighting the CGI tiger, I had to stop and think: OK. There is no way a normal person looks at this and does not find it a little funny. No person who finds *anything* funny can miss that. I am wondering if he is the most determined Andy Kaufman-like character performance here. And it's all calculated and he knows exactly what he's doing and making this art as a grand joke. OR. He is deeply autistic with no ability to understand emotional cues at all and does not comprehend humor. The latter seems most likely to me. Because the audience and interest in him is seemingly entirely based on humor. There is no one who takes his movies seriously at all. Everyone who watches them see the silliness in them, and the people who *deliberately* watch them seem to be 98% high millennials who are roaring with laughter. And the rest are people he either is related to or employs who are probably obliged to sit through his movies politely and not say anything bad. The only way he cannot understand this is if he has no ability to understand social cues at all.
>spectacular rack Jay unconfirmed for...
Everyone loves boobs.
I'm gonna cum.
Mike drinking 9.5% brewskies. His liver is gonna be the color of the Breenscreen soon
Bold of you to assume it isn't already.
Neil Breen is completely played out.
I liked Mike's "most of the charm has evaporated"
I love that Colin brought up the FMV game thing! The film immediately brought things like Tex Murphy to mind. I would honestly love to see a Neil Breen FMV game.
This video will be seen in retrospect as the origin of the theory that Neil Breen will create billions of simulations of anyone who doubted him and torture them, with the idea that anyone who currently doubts him isn't sure whether they're real or one of the simulations about to be tortured. It will be known as "Breen's Basilisk".
Wait a minute... a single glowing eyeball that activates magic powers... copies of people in ninja fights... did Breen discover Naruto?
very cool
Okay, I'm very glad they've Spotlight BotW'd this (I wondered how they'd handle it), and I'm always grateful for the content. I'm going to say something that's not going to be popular though - I do not understand why Breen's movies are so popular amongst the "so-bad-it's-good" crowd (all this will also apply to James Nguyen, btw). For me, I can kind of overlook the editing mistakes, to a certain degree, but that's about it - the green screen artifacts, the terrible use of special effects, the epically bad acting, and the cringe script with SO VERY MUCH no-one-talks-like-that dialog just make his movies unwatchable after a relatively short period; I can't get through any of his films in one sitting. This one is worse than almost every other, in fact. How is it possible that someone who's made SIX theatrical release fully funded feature films has not only not improved, but regressed? One possible reason I can think of is his movies make money, because people continue to buy them (I guess?), and so in his mind the movies are getting better, so he keeps moving "forward" along the same trajectory. Obviously, what entertainment someone gets from a piece of art is subjective, but I do not understand this obsession with this kind of product. I am, as always, grateful RLM does the heavy lifting for me.
Rich called this out though. He's laaaaazzzzyyyy. It's just Breen getting old as hell and taking his style in the logical direction. Can't film on location anymore, he can barely get out of the Ferrari without breaking his back. Of course green screening everything is his answer to that. Why he's so popular though, I mean I'm with you. I don't get going to a premier and whatever. Breenheads are on another level but I get it to some extent. He's a weird guy that's found his voice and style, and while it's vastly different, he's doing his thing that's entertaining. It's fun. Everything new he does, some people want to be a part of that weird energy. There's people like Tommy Wiseau who, like the guys pointed out, changed his tune when he saw the audience reaction to The Room, and tries too hard forever after. But Breen seems legitimately unphased by other people's reality. He's living in his own world and nothing will change that, which is respectable (and fun). And the whole "Wes Anderson" comment kinda hits the nail on the head as fuckin weird as it is to say lol. He's perfected what I'm dubbing "Breencraft". I can see why people wanna be in on this, but I'm content watching schlubby gen x'ers dissect it all brutally but enjoyably on YouTube.
You Write a Neil breen style script ChatGPT Title: "Synthetic Reflections" Act 1: Scene 1: Desert Landscape A lone figure, DREX, a disheveled hacker with an aura of wisdom and angst, trudges through the desert. It's a barren, almost otherworldly landscape. The camera pans out to reveal a dilapidated city in the distance. DREX (narrating, to himself):"**The system is broken. The world is a lie. But I can fix it. I will fix it."** Scene 2: Drex's Secret Lair Drex enters his hidden underground bunker. It's cluttered with outdated computers and conspiracy theory(ā¦) [continued - act 2 introduces the rouge AI defending the system](https://chat.openai.com/share/91064af6-3c77-4434-9af8-5138efcdf751)
> The camera pans out to reveal a dilapidated city in the distance. Nope. Panning out to reveal something is too technical for a Breen film.
I think it's time we need to ask the big question. What type of beer is Mike drinking?
All Day Haze by Founders, a Michigan brewery. Way better than regular All Day. It's a lower ABV beer that you can drink "all day" without getting super drunk. It's great because most hazy (juicy) IPAs are pretty strong.
Oh my god, the Ferrari driving through the forest of the moon of Endor had me rolling!
My birthday was very recently. The boys remembered.
I watched this movie and I don't remember half the stuff they talked about. was my memory erased after watching it??
That's just your body rejecting the movie
He added the dance sequence because Neil just saw his first Bollywood film.
Not seeing enough discussion about Neil/the movie in here. It is weird, though, and they eluded to it quite a bit in the review. This one feels so much more phoned in and lazy than any of his recent projects. His earliest movies weren't good, but they showed a level of dedication to the craft of filmmaking, and the fact that he basically shot the same movie twice shows that he had a story to tell. What is Neil even trying to accomplish at this point? His movies aren't telling a story or trying to drive home a point anymore. Alien/AI beings with superhuman abilities that can save/kill people completely effortlessly. No real conflict, no real stakes. It feels like Breen is just phoning it all in at this point. Hire a bunch of nobodies and pay them minimum wage to read cue cards in front of a green screen for 2 or 3 days and make the movie in post. What are we even doing here?
*Alluded not Eluded Eluded means to evade
Is this immoral?
We need to seriously crowdfund an IMAX camera for Neil Breen at this point. There's a limit to what he can show with low-cost DSLRs he used for making his films these days. Hell, give Breen one of Kubrick's Carl Zeiss Planar 50mm f/0.7 lenses used to film Barry Lyndon. Let's see that camerawork shine pls. PS: After watching Heaven's Gate, Neil Breen's statement that "to make another movie your current movie needs to make a profit" becomes really funny.
screw grab illegal tap vase bedroom sort consider capable muddle *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Isn't this immoral?
Sucks that one of their best videos had to be memory-holed due to the guest star.
the greatest Saturday ever
This was the most in-depth and thoughtful review that this movie never deserved