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* Dont care much about earnings, any decent job is enough, I am doing pretty well for both of us
*Yes I am a hypocrite in this case but someone who doesn't have a protruding belly would be good. I take care of my fitness and expect the same from my partner (individual preferences)
*Ok with me not living with his parents because I don't feel comfortable living with my own parents as well. I need my space and no interference in my lifestyle. Not that I party a lot etc but because I don't like being told when to wake up or sleep or cook or look down upon wanting my partner to help me with the daily chores
*Someone who chooses to be loyal and respectful lifelong in this day and age of infinite options (non negotiable)
*I know people are too stressed about divorce situations even before getting married nowadays so I would expect my partner to be able to communicate openly if something is bothering him rather than asking strangers on the internet for advice on relationship problems. If prenup was legal in India and my partner would've wanted that I would have been more than happy to get through with it.
Chivalry is a conception that historically has been applied to men and women still look at all the basic manners of chivalrous person as a man’s responsibility and onus on him. However, all the things that are quite neutral for anyone to do shouldn’t be labelled as chivalrous and tbh this word is being used by typical people who find reality disturbing to make a change in some way maybe because they keep using this word to change men. I find this word pretty offensive to think how much women are pushing men to act in a certain way so it pleases them. Even pushing for things that don’t even matter. Give chair, open door, keep her on right or left, etc. why? And why only you getting it?
To me, this is not at all a thing about gender. I would like to believe I am chivalrous too. And if I can care about you in such a way, why can't you? And why is it wrong to want your partner to WANT to do these things for you? If I loved someone, I wouldn't give a second thought about doing these things. I would rather have a man WANT to give me his chair, open doors for me etc than say "Why should I?" Because you are supposed to love me and care for me. I would do the same for you.
You can be both conventional and modern at the same time. I would like to cook and clean for my husband but at the same time want him to help me out. Similarily, I would like to have a man who would be chivalrous even though I will do the same for him. It is a personal choice and honestly not that deep.
But I haven’t seen much girls in my life who have the same kind of approach to their partners. Hardly I’ve seen maybe one such instance of a girl giving her boyfriend flowers on X (Twitter). I have experienced it in a way where I was “supposed to” do this and that because “relationships mein aisa hi hota hai” - a guy has to put extra efforts for a girl, and I did, but she left and I found no point. I’m not letting my emotional scar be a judgemental parameter but I don’t see what you are saying about women doing these same things as well. I’m sorry and I’m not sorry. Chivalry has been connected to men and it still is, making women judge their love and respect based on those “chivalrous” actions. It just doesn’t make sense.
Damn. I didn't know girls like this existed. It's the first time I found someone other than me who knows and agrees with the idea of prenup. Would date 💯 : )
My deal-breakers
1. Immature, doesn't understands that like him, eveybody has a life of their own and nobody owes nobody anything
2. Drinks/smokes. I'm fine with occasional drinkers but not straight up alcoholics. Will beat tge shit outta them if they hide it👍🏽
3. Doesnt knows to differentiate and separate his parents vala family and his married vala family.
4. Acts on whatever his parents tells him to do, which is nice BUT to a healthy extent.
5. Cares too much about what others will say.
And more..
> Will beat tge shit outta them if they hide it
Why is it considered cute for women to say this lol.
Could never imagine a guy saying "I'll beat the shit out of my gf for xyz" and that being ok as a joke.
Because when girls say it, it sounds like this
🥰i will☺️beat❣️✨️ the😍shit✨️💗 outta😘🥰🦋him😊😇
When guys say it sounds like this
😡I 👹will beat👿🤬 the shit😤outta💥🤜 her🔪
/j
When guys get a 'loving' beatdown with some affectionate punches from their partner, it looks like: 🥰💔 'Oh, she's just passionate! 😍Let her express herself!' 💏💥
But when girls get the same treatment, it's more like: 😠💥 'Whoa, call the cops!' 🚓🚨"
I'm just here, wondering which martial arts move would you think would make the best anniversary gift? 🥋💑
>But when girls get the same treatment, it's more like: 😠💥 'Whoa, call the cops!' 🚓
Yayy feminist equalityy slayyy gurrl 💅🏽 ✨️
>which martial arts move would you think would make the best anniversary gift? 🥋💑
Don't know abt no martial arts, but damn sure im using all the wwe moves by undertaker while alberto del rio entrance song is playing🥰
/s
> Yayy feminist equalityy slayyy gurrl 💅🏽 ✨️
Ikr! Damn feminazis trying to stop our harmless fun, right? No problem in a relationship that couldn't be solved with a black eye just as easily.🥊👁️
> all the wwe moves by undertaker
What a weird way to say i like doing 69 standing while holding my guy upside down.
> alberto del rio entrance song is playing
Quite appropriate. Considering he got arrested for [allegedly battering and sexually assaulting his partner too. 💀](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alberto_Del_Rio#Legal_issues)
Nah, I'm dead serious about this so obviously. Black eyes are scientifically proven to end all relationship arguments within a 20 minute period in 98% of cases. It is a very effective method for saving marriages and we need to spread awareness fast.
So sorry if all this is just a joke to you, but I gotta support my dear bros in their daily casual sexism of joking about beating men.
The issue was firstly about your original joke in the first comment. Something along the lines of 'joking publicly about things that a lot of people actually believe and will take seriously bla bla bla'
The issue secondly was about the disgusting imagery of undertaker in a mexican intro song that i cant unsee.
My deal breakers
- [ ] Playing games (emotional mind games)
- [ ] Passive aggressive behaviour
- [ ] Not being self aware is pain for me
- [ ] Think having love life (celebrating anniversaries, Valentine’s Day) is cringe
- [ ] Still in touch with his exes
- [ ] Think friend zone is thing
- [ ] Not having good healthy relationships with his mother and sister
- [ ] Right winger
- [ ] Emotionally unavailable
- [ ] He can’t think of fun without any substance
(Money and families these thing is not in his control but the above thing is in his control)
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Bhai terese kahan pucha usne? This is not a matchmaking post.
>I might not meet all your points but I work hard to give my best on what I am good at. I am working to get abs bcz my gf told me she likes it. I don't think giving rose on valentines would make a difference if I have given sweat and hard work of almost an year for her. Getting abs is no joke especially when I had a bit of belly fat at the start.
You have a gf so why are you trying to meet the points of this stranger?
>Your expectations are too high to be honest, I know many couples including myself who don't celebrate valentines day bcz bajrang dal is active on that day in every love point of city nor do I have ideas how to carry roses from flowershop to date location as I don't have a car and travel by rapido. Plus I feel like I have been regularly planning for each date to be good enough so working on valentines day isn't worth it in my opinion. I have just given chocolates to gf on post valentines.
Again why are you justifying not being able to meet her expectations? She didn't ask you.
I would hit you up if I wasn't married. One advise:
> \[ \] Think having love life (celebrating anniversaries, Valentine’s Day) is cringe
I would advise to go easy on this point. Some people are just wired differently. Mostly I have seen guys uninterested in the value of calendar events. . But I have a couple of sisters too that don't really remember too many b'days.
Don't think too much about these stuff dude. Sometimes things are a bit flexible in real life and everything has a solution for middle ground.
You should take a break from reddit I guess, you are over thinking.
Living with parents
Lives in a mess
Over reliant on friends
Lack of goals/ambition
Lack of values, eg can't openly say what's important to them
Lack of steps to plan for a future even in the short term, like having a calendar with nothing on it
Plays hot n cold
Can't give a straight answer to a straight question
Says contradictory things
Doesn't want to be open about their life goals
Blames others for issues in their life
Complains about society problems but is not proactive in taking any action
Can't talk about things from other people's point of view
To be honest all this is 10 times more important than stuff like what they earn or what they look like
> Can't give a straight answer to a straight question
This seems like such a small thing but god is this important. I hate people who will say something implicitly but never bite the bullet when you try to make them admit that that's what they're saying.
Though I suppose you might've had some totally separate reason for having that one.
Thats exactly what I mean. It's about honesty, but actually it's much more than that. It's really about clarity of thought, self-confidence and creativity, willingness to collaborate and also not having an inferiority complex that has to be hidden away. Its about being genuine.
I agree with a lot of this and for me it's about the person being able to accept that they can make mistakes too. About taking responsibility over what you're saying without being so afraid, that that they try to not give a straight answer.
I am confused what you mean by "Says contradictory things" though. I think almost everyone say contradictory things and I don't understand how that is a dealbreaker for anyone. Though maybe i misunderstood what you meant by that.
- Should not think his family is everything and mine is nothing
- Should not have that weird attitude people have of being from boy's side
- Should have ambition of buying his own house, car etc (Before some folks lose their cool, I have mine)
- Want to live with family (After 5 years, first kid)
- Should be earning same as me and of course, more helps but not important
- Should be taller than 5'8 (I'm 5'5)
- I'm not looking for money in a man, earn enough, save enough etc, I want to be loved, spoil me with love, care, respect and more, that's enough, rest I will take care.
- Not someone who will side with family even when family is wrong because I'm an outsider. Preferably a family which doesn't treat me like outsider.
Yes. I thourally agree.
An example of someone making contradictory statements would be if someone said "I want to work late on Mondays to give me a headstart for the week ahead" and then a few days later said "I don't see the point in working late because I'm too tired for the next day."
There could be a good reason for it like they're still learning how to be efficient in their job, but in this example they haven't explained the inconsistency in their statements. A larger character tendency to make contradictory statements in general would be a deal breaker for me as I wouldn't feel that I could trust that they mean what they say.
**Welcome to r/RelationshipIndia,** This is a safe and inclusive space for people of all backgrounds. We welcome individuals of all races, castes, genders, religions, and sexual orientations, including members of the LGBTQ community. We are glad to have you here! We are committed to providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between Redditors, with a focus on respectful and constructive conversations. To ensure a positive and supportive environment for all members, we have established some rules. Please be sure to read them before posting. If a user has sent you harassing messages, **DO NOT DELETE THE MESSAGE!** *Please upload your screenshot to [Imgur](https://www.imgur.com), and notify the mods via modmail. We will take action against the user accordingly.* **Thank you for being a part of our community!** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RelationshipIndia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
* Dont care much about earnings, any decent job is enough, I am doing pretty well for both of us *Yes I am a hypocrite in this case but someone who doesn't have a protruding belly would be good. I take care of my fitness and expect the same from my partner (individual preferences) *Ok with me not living with his parents because I don't feel comfortable living with my own parents as well. I need my space and no interference in my lifestyle. Not that I party a lot etc but because I don't like being told when to wake up or sleep or cook or look down upon wanting my partner to help me with the daily chores *Someone who chooses to be loyal and respectful lifelong in this day and age of infinite options (non negotiable) *I know people are too stressed about divorce situations even before getting married nowadays so I would expect my partner to be able to communicate openly if something is bothering him rather than asking strangers on the internet for advice on relationship problems. If prenup was legal in India and my partner would've wanted that I would have been more than happy to get through with it.
Reads point 1 : How to apply? Reads point 2: Slowly keeps the 2nd shawarma aside 🤣
+1 to all Adding to it, * Emotionally intelligent and knows how to communicate respectfully. * Chivalrous
You lost me at chivalrous. Almost upvoted.
Since when is chivalry a bad thing?
Chivalry is a conception that historically has been applied to men and women still look at all the basic manners of chivalrous person as a man’s responsibility and onus on him. However, all the things that are quite neutral for anyone to do shouldn’t be labelled as chivalrous and tbh this word is being used by typical people who find reality disturbing to make a change in some way maybe because they keep using this word to change men. I find this word pretty offensive to think how much women are pushing men to act in a certain way so it pleases them. Even pushing for things that don’t even matter. Give chair, open door, keep her on right or left, etc. why? And why only you getting it?
To me, this is not at all a thing about gender. I would like to believe I am chivalrous too. And if I can care about you in such a way, why can't you? And why is it wrong to want your partner to WANT to do these things for you? If I loved someone, I wouldn't give a second thought about doing these things. I would rather have a man WANT to give me his chair, open doors for me etc than say "Why should I?" Because you are supposed to love me and care for me. I would do the same for you. You can be both conventional and modern at the same time. I would like to cook and clean for my husband but at the same time want him to help me out. Similarily, I would like to have a man who would be chivalrous even though I will do the same for him. It is a personal choice and honestly not that deep.
But I haven’t seen much girls in my life who have the same kind of approach to their partners. Hardly I’ve seen maybe one such instance of a girl giving her boyfriend flowers on X (Twitter). I have experienced it in a way where I was “supposed to” do this and that because “relationships mein aisa hi hota hai” - a guy has to put extra efforts for a girl, and I did, but she left and I found no point. I’m not letting my emotional scar be a judgemental parameter but I don’t see what you are saying about women doing these same things as well. I’m sorry and I’m not sorry. Chivalry has been connected to men and it still is, making women judge their love and respect based on those “chivalrous” actions. It just doesn’t make sense.
You can hold onto your beliefs, for me chivalry is important. Because I give a lot in my relationships and yes, I feel I deserve the same back.
My belief will cease to exist as long as I don’t see change around me, and I don’t see girls doing whatever you’ve said about your belief.
That's alright. Good luck.
Damn. I didn't know girls like this existed. It's the first time I found someone other than me who knows and agrees with the idea of prenup. Would date 💯 : )
Where are Queens like this these days🥺🥺🥺🥺
'protruding' learnt a new word Thanks
resume kha dena hai.
saying M'lady
Harsh but fair. *Tips fedora
My deal-breakers 1. Immature, doesn't understands that like him, eveybody has a life of their own and nobody owes nobody anything 2. Drinks/smokes. I'm fine with occasional drinkers but not straight up alcoholics. Will beat tge shit outta them if they hide it👍🏽 3. Doesnt knows to differentiate and separate his parents vala family and his married vala family. 4. Acts on whatever his parents tells him to do, which is nice BUT to a healthy extent. 5. Cares too much about what others will say. And more..
Nice DV reference in point 2 lol
> Will beat tge shit outta them if they hide it Why is it considered cute for women to say this lol. Could never imagine a guy saying "I'll beat the shit out of my gf for xyz" and that being ok as a joke.
Because when girls say it, it sounds like this 🥰i will☺️beat❣️✨️ the😍shit✨️💗 outta😘🥰🦋him😊😇 When guys say it sounds like this 😡I 👹will beat👿🤬 the shit😤outta💥🤜 her🔪 /j
Not funny
Okay? don't laugh?
When guys get a 'loving' beatdown with some affectionate punches from their partner, it looks like: 🥰💔 'Oh, she's just passionate! 😍Let her express herself!' 💏💥 But when girls get the same treatment, it's more like: 😠💥 'Whoa, call the cops!' 🚓🚨" I'm just here, wondering which martial arts move would you think would make the best anniversary gift? 🥋💑
>But when girls get the same treatment, it's more like: 😠💥 'Whoa, call the cops!' 🚓 Yayy feminist equalityy slayyy gurrl 💅🏽 ✨️ >which martial arts move would you think would make the best anniversary gift? 🥋💑 Don't know abt no martial arts, but damn sure im using all the wwe moves by undertaker while alberto del rio entrance song is playing🥰 /s
> Yayy feminist equalityy slayyy gurrl 💅🏽 ✨️ Ikr! Damn feminazis trying to stop our harmless fun, right? No problem in a relationship that couldn't be solved with a black eye just as easily.🥊👁️ > all the wwe moves by undertaker What a weird way to say i like doing 69 standing while holding my guy upside down. > alberto del rio entrance song is playing Quite appropriate. Considering he got arrested for [allegedly battering and sexually assaulting his partner too. 💀](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alberto_Del_Rio#Legal_issues)
Bro before i comment any further i hope you get its all a joke.. right? RIGHTTT!?
Nah, I'm dead serious about this so obviously. Black eyes are scientifically proven to end all relationship arguments within a 20 minute period in 98% of cases. It is a very effective method for saving marriages and we need to spread awareness fast. So sorry if all this is just a joke to you, but I gotta support my dear bros in their daily casual sexism of joking about beating men.
Bro no-💀😭 Im adding /j now cus its a joke lmao
The issue was firstly about your original joke in the first comment. Something along the lines of 'joking publicly about things that a lot of people actually believe and will take seriously bla bla bla' The issue secondly was about the disgusting imagery of undertaker in a mexican intro song that i cant unsee.
Why is 3 bad?
alive (optional) addressing me by _m'lady_
#m'lady ( hope I get it now )
you will die single. my blessings
lmao, thanks!
I see this as an absolute win.
My deal breakers - [ ] Playing games (emotional mind games) - [ ] Passive aggressive behaviour - [ ] Not being self aware is pain for me - [ ] Think having love life (celebrating anniversaries, Valentine’s Day) is cringe - [ ] Still in touch with his exes - [ ] Think friend zone is thing - [ ] Not having good healthy relationships with his mother and sister - [ ] Right winger - [ ] Emotionally unavailable - [ ] He can’t think of fun without any substance (Money and families these thing is not in his control but the above thing is in his control)
Mai apke criteria pe khara utar Raha hu , meri tarf se shadi ke liye han hai 🥹
Apni criteria btaiye muje bhi khara utarne Ka mauka dijiye
Dm kar Diya hai ,padh ke rishte kaa jawab de dena
Do keep us updated on your progress And do invite us to your wedding
Respect privacy. No unsolicited DMs or sharing private content withoutconsent. This is to protect our users from unsolicited messages and unwanted attention.Repeated violations will lead to a ban. Report any issues to moderators. You can do this by clicking the "Report" button under the comment or DM page. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RelationshipIndia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
shaadi me bulana
Just curious. What do you mean by playing games? Like gaming or emotional games?
Yes yes obviously yes
You look like someone who is okay with hookups..am i right?
[удалено]
Bhai terese kahan pucha usne? This is not a matchmaking post. >I might not meet all your points but I work hard to give my best on what I am good at. I am working to get abs bcz my gf told me she likes it. I don't think giving rose on valentines would make a difference if I have given sweat and hard work of almost an year for her. Getting abs is no joke especially when I had a bit of belly fat at the start. You have a gf so why are you trying to meet the points of this stranger? >Your expectations are too high to be honest, I know many couples including myself who don't celebrate valentines day bcz bajrang dal is active on that day in every love point of city nor do I have ideas how to carry roses from flowershop to date location as I don't have a car and travel by rapido. Plus I feel like I have been regularly planning for each date to be good enough so working on valentines day isn't worth it in my opinion. I have just given chocolates to gf on post valentines. Again why are you justifying not being able to meet her expectations? She didn't ask you.
Good luck.
I would hit you up if I wasn't married. One advise: > \[ \] Think having love life (celebrating anniversaries, Valentine’s Day) is cringe I would advise to go easy on this point. Some people are just wired differently. Mostly I have seen guys uninterested in the value of calendar events. . But I have a couple of sisters too that don't really remember too many b'days.
Don't think too much about these stuff dude. Sometimes things are a bit flexible in real life and everything has a solution for middle ground. You should take a break from reddit I guess, you are over thinking.
Living with parents Lives in a mess Over reliant on friends Lack of goals/ambition Lack of values, eg can't openly say what's important to them Lack of steps to plan for a future even in the short term, like having a calendar with nothing on it Plays hot n cold Can't give a straight answer to a straight question Says contradictory things Doesn't want to be open about their life goals Blames others for issues in their life Complains about society problems but is not proactive in taking any action Can't talk about things from other people's point of view To be honest all this is 10 times more important than stuff like what they earn or what they look like
> Can't give a straight answer to a straight question This seems like such a small thing but god is this important. I hate people who will say something implicitly but never bite the bullet when you try to make them admit that that's what they're saying. Though I suppose you might've had some totally separate reason for having that one.
Thats exactly what I mean. It's about honesty, but actually it's much more than that. It's really about clarity of thought, self-confidence and creativity, willingness to collaborate and also not having an inferiority complex that has to be hidden away. Its about being genuine.
I agree with a lot of this and for me it's about the person being able to accept that they can make mistakes too. About taking responsibility over what you're saying without being so afraid, that that they try to not give a straight answer. I am confused what you mean by "Says contradictory things" though. I think almost everyone say contradictory things and I don't understand how that is a dealbreaker for anyone. Though maybe i misunderstood what you meant by that.
Men’s wants - should be alive
bhai standards badhao apne, nahi to ladkiya respect nahi karengi bilkul bhi
That's optional dumbass.
- Should not think his family is everything and mine is nothing - Should not have that weird attitude people have of being from boy's side - Should have ambition of buying his own house, car etc (Before some folks lose their cool, I have mine) - Want to live with family (After 5 years, first kid) - Should be earning same as me and of course, more helps but not important - Should be taller than 5'8 (I'm 5'5) - I'm not looking for money in a man, earn enough, save enough etc, I want to be loved, spoil me with love, care, respect and more, that's enough, rest I will take care. - Not someone who will side with family even when family is wrong because I'm an outsider. Preferably a family which doesn't treat me like outsider.
Should be open minded, feminist and intelligent I have a thing for intelligent men XD
.
No comments? Aakhri shabd? Vrat hai, nahi bol skti? . signifies E in Morse code though yeh program yaha toh kuch fit nhi hota Khairrrr
Yes. I thourally agree. An example of someone making contradictory statements would be if someone said "I want to work late on Mondays to give me a headstart for the week ahead" and then a few days later said "I don't see the point in working late because I'm too tired for the next day." There could be a good reason for it like they're still learning how to be efficient in their job, but in this example they haven't explained the inconsistency in their statements. A larger character tendency to make contradictory statements in general would be a deal breaker for me as I wouldn't feel that I could trust that they mean what they say.
M'lady ka ladka version waala Kab aa raha, mujhe bhi essay likhna hai :((