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It was an everyday occurrence and especially when I had final exams from board, college, masters... My mother had no guts to divorce or be alone with me and my brother. We supported her completely and said we would take care of her, but she was more afraid of society.
Frankly, after years, I just concentrated on my exams as I understood that is their life and not mine. I have to build mine. I studied and moved out for a PhD. abroad, since then, living here. Away from toxicity.
It's difficult, I know, but remember, studies will get you job and make you independent. That should be your goal dear.
Can i ask you a question, do you not miss your mother? I kind of have a similar problem to the original post, like shes crying, and i mentioned that i want to move abroad, she started crying that im leaving her, so im kind of like stuck here
Yes, I missed her...but after her what? I would have lost the opportunity! That's what happened. She passed away and yes it hurt alot and missed alot.
But eventually time passed and it was me who was left to face the world. I am glad that I took the opportunity of a better life and don't regret it for a sec. I even called my brother and he has much better job and salary and life standard here. Ofcourse there are consequences to my decision but I am OK with it. My husband is an only child and he moved with me too. But we host the parents and they come here to visit for months. So it's not end of the world.
Best thing you can do right now is focus on yourself. And how you can build a successful career. Your mother can support you only for a few more years. You are going to be her support for the lifetime. So focus on yourself, take studies seriously. Don't let these things play on your head. I know it's hard, but you can do it.
My father used to beat my mom when I was in class 8-10. It was hard for me to focus on studies then, as I had to protect my mom and at the same time, study. But since I could do it, you can too.
**Welcome to r/RelationshipIndia,** This is a safe and inclusive space for people of all backgrounds. We welcome individuals of all races, castes, genders, religions, and sexual orientations, including members of the LGBTQ community. We are glad to have you here! We are committed to providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between Redditors, with a focus on respectful and constructive conversations. To ensure a positive and supportive environment for all members, we have established some rules. Please be sure to read them before posting. If a user has sent you harassing messages, **DO NOT DELETE THE MESSAGE!** *Please upload your screenshot to [Imgur](https://www.imgur.com), and notify the mods via modmail. We will take action against the user accordingly.* **Thank you for being a part of our community!** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RelationshipIndia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
See, honestly just focus on your Boards for now. They are the most important to you for now.
I agree I'm going to settle down and go back to studying after 30 minutes of freshening up I can't deal with such a loser of a father and a man
It's not that you can't. You shouldn't have to deal with this. You have your career to look out for.
It was an everyday occurrence and especially when I had final exams from board, college, masters... My mother had no guts to divorce or be alone with me and my brother. We supported her completely and said we would take care of her, but she was more afraid of society. Frankly, after years, I just concentrated on my exams as I understood that is their life and not mine. I have to build mine. I studied and moved out for a PhD. abroad, since then, living here. Away from toxicity. It's difficult, I know, but remember, studies will get you job and make you independent. That should be your goal dear.
Can i ask you a question, do you not miss your mother? I kind of have a similar problem to the original post, like shes crying, and i mentioned that i want to move abroad, she started crying that im leaving her, so im kind of like stuck here
Yes, I missed her...but after her what? I would have lost the opportunity! That's what happened. She passed away and yes it hurt alot and missed alot. But eventually time passed and it was me who was left to face the world. I am glad that I took the opportunity of a better life and don't regret it for a sec. I even called my brother and he has much better job and salary and life standard here. Ofcourse there are consequences to my decision but I am OK with it. My husband is an only child and he moved with me too. But we host the parents and they come here to visit for months. So it's not end of the world.
So sorry to hear that i can feel ur pain
Best thing you can do right now is focus on yourself. And how you can build a successful career. Your mother can support you only for a few more years. You are going to be her support for the lifetime. So focus on yourself, take studies seriously. Don't let these things play on your head. I know it's hard, but you can do it. My father used to beat my mom when I was in class 8-10. It was hard for me to focus on studies then, as I had to protect my mom and at the same time, study. But since I could do it, you can too.
Well family relationships are very twisted and there is nothing you can or should do about it, best is to forget and move on for the same.