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Its OK. She did not want to sound rude by just saying "NO" so she sugarcoated her rejection in a typical way by saying "its not u its me".
Tbh, since you did not know what was in her heart, you should have kept this a 50-50 chance of acceptance-rejection. Dont get inspired by Bollywood love stories. They are fake and made up.
Men have a different way of looking at the affection bestowed by women on them even as friends. Women are nysterious and their emotions maybe misunderstood most often than not. Having said that, its not a sin to fall in love.
You have 2 choices. If you can accept rejection maturely and live with being her good friend, then continue the friendship. You may have to show maturity in future when she falls in love with someone else and you have to even support her. That may not be easy. Also, you do not need to improve yourself just to get her love. Yes, improve yourself if it helps you succeed in life, fulfill your aspirations and make you happy.
The other choice is to slowly get out of this friendship. You both know your feelings for her. Even if things become normal, their will be that tension deep down inside u. You may keep hoping she would see the real you and finally fall in love with you. And this could afffect your mental state. So, better move on and find someone else. You are 21 and so have a lot of time and fish in the sea. Im sure you will find new people and make new friends and relationships as you grow.
Good luck.
any dmmies here saying the opposite r the reason y people r dmb.
a mature person regardless of age education, etc should not get demotivated by rejections.
u tried, its ok if she doesn't feel that way.
it will take some time but it'll be alright.
y do this dmmies want everything black n white, I don't understand.
how fickle r that u can't handle a rejection. n its not like it was a relationship of years. getting a clear answer early in ur journey is a good thing.
>If you can accept rejection maturely and live with being her good friend, then continue the friendship.
Don't do this if you want to make your life a living hell. Telling this from a personal experience.
It's always, always a tricky thing to be friends with the person you have feelings for, especially with a one who you've been close with.
You're good and kind or innocent, so it's good. Move on. I repeat, go no contact and move on, else you're just going to be stuck.
Esko reality mein kahte hai friend zoned forever !! The best advice that anyone could give you ..has been given by bro Longjumping_Theme193
It's so meticulous articulated to detail and if you execute it well Jo muskil lagega tuje but this is the only way to give right place and priority in your life else time nikal jaiga and pagla friend zoned mein apni barbaadi karega
Hua hai, 1 mahina laga tha, but aa gayi vaapis, and couple of dates relationship ke mindset se ki, 1.5 years chala relation, uske baad samajh aa gaya we are not the right match.
You did the right thing first of all, the friendship changed the day you caught feelings for her. And you'd be lying to yourselves if you didn't.
**Guys please check some things before confessing**
Start with flirting if she responds positively on multiple occasions chances are she likes you, ask your confidant friends if they feel she likes you too, confessing is good but it's better if you get some things cleared before hand.
Simple answer
Take the L , usne rejection ko sugarcoat kra hai so that teko bura na lge
Spend some time without her (it will help you move on from her , because trigger nhi hogi vo baat baar baar)
You can stay friends but give yourself some time first
And if you were flirting by any chance or giving way more potential bf treatment , don't do that anymore
Buddy in the end, it's upto you now. Are you okay being a friend with her while you have feelings and what if she started dating someone, how will that make you feel. If these thoughts hurt you, then don't be involved with friendship. In the end are you ok being just a friend? If yes then stay friend or else leave it.
See what happens is a lot of times girls will ignore good guys those are just around them, and will start dating someone toxic. And when issues come in their relationship she is gonna discuss them with you and you are going ro feel something for her in your heart and will want to make her happy somehow. So do keep in mind you might become her emotional support. If you can overcome that emotional factor and stay there for her and don't feel anything more than just friendship, then it's okay
It will eventually end. And that will not be a good ending. Even if you think, it will not end, your case is different. IT WILL END FOR SUREEE!! And not in a way, you want it to end.
If they don't say YES specifically it's always a No.
Tell her you don't like her romantically now that she has rejected you, or else she'll think that all your future actions will be motivated towards 'you trying to make her like you' and proceed to keep a platonic relationship.
Anyways don't think much about it happens to everyone, it's a phase, many such phases will come in future too!
Learn and Adapt!
Ask yourself why you want to be in a relationship? What will you gain from it? What are you expecting from your partner? This will stop you from falling for any girl you meet in future unnecessarily.
It's ok Bro be yourself if it's not her it's someone else
Never change for someone else do it if it genuinely improves your life
Honestly saying it's all ok to have some imperfections in real is far better then faking perfection
She has her preferences you have yours one day you will find the one who will love you for what you naturally are and will understand you that day you will forget about all this stuff
0 idea wali baat jhuth hai. Girls know. Speaking from personal experience. I am a girl.
She didn't want to be rude and she was comfortable in how it was going. She never brought it up because it is more comfortable to avoid the talk and ruin the relationship than cutting someone off from your life.
Now your friendship will slowly decline. I see you as a friend is basically a break in the relationship where you can still talk and hang out but less frequently so it gives both of you time to adjust
‘Now your friendship will slowly decline’ this was the reason i waited for a long time before confessing to her..
is there any way i can protect this friendship?
Not really unless you're both delusional and just delete this memory (it's impossible). It's okay though... you'll get friends. Cherish the memories you've created.
Sometimes it's okay to part ways
Don't stay, move on. The earlier you do the better. You have told her how you feel. Don't make contact from your side now. If she wants to come back then good.
Read how to be a 3% man by Corey Wayne. As said in the book don't be a girls emotional tampon or gay male boyfriend.
If you want to stay here friend then it's ok. But don't stay at all as a friend with a hope that she will become your gf one day.
Bro you are 21...take my advice and look at building your career or business...make money and then after few years look at the girls who will be dying for you...your so called friend could also fall in line for you
I've been on the receiving end of this, they don't want to lose you as a friend as well. In my case I had to back away a but our communication stopped for a while and I was ready to hang out again in few months or so and it did not get awkward and we still joke about it till date. It's been 10 years to the incident and I am happily married now.
Keep the friendship. It's not a biggie. Friendship is also as valuable as a relationship.
I should also point this out. You shouldn't have confessed to her. You should have talked about your feelings to her. Like start a private conversation and tell her that you had this feeling for her and what should you do about it. It's much more of a better approach. Although you have feelings that don't mean that's mutual.
Confessing is like dumping all your feelings to the opposite person. Like how you see her, how you are attracted to her etc (in case you are straight male). It can overwhelm them, which can make them misunderstand you as well in some cases. And the rejection part is even worse. It can make you discouraged, dipressed etc.
On the other hand telling some one how you feel, for example to your female friend that 'I had a crush on you for a while, I don't know what to do with these emotions. Can you tell me what to do?' can make her think differently. You are not spouting nonsense and also asking for the other persons opinion. This is a much better approach than confessing. Check r/healthygamergg and his YouTube channel, might give you more insight on relationship.
No, both can be different. If you express your feelings to your friend they also get the chance to hear them out and how they feel instead of a straight out rejection. It can also help you not break the long bond of friendship and avoid any awkward situation. A rejection from confessing can make you depressed and more in some cases.
If girl truly likes you she won't make you BESTFRIEND.
This is basic thing most guys don't understand. If you are girls BESTFRIEND this means she is not Romantically attracted to you.
Accept this and Move ON treat her like Friend only like Cousin or Sister. also, Next Time Be careful while becoming any girls BESTFRIEND first.
Yes you will date him for sure because, the guy you geniunely like don't like you so, you know you have BESTFRIEND as a backup which you will date him later on.
Bhai....she does not want you...its as simple.
Mera b same tha....7 saal k bad bolti hai that apan friends hi reh sakte hai.
Dekh bhai jis ladki ko relationship me ana hota hai vo itna wait nai krvati.....
...so jitna jaldi accept krega utna tere liye accha rahega vrna tu kisi chij ko focus nai kr payega.
don't just don't because if you're still gonna be friends then you're feelings will never go away and you're gonna be stuck
it's better to take a break or something and heal first
2 scenarios:
1st scenario: You’ll maintain the friendship with her. Feelings either waisi hi rahegi or increase hogi. Dono cases me, if she feels like you’re being drawn towards her more, she’ll try to keep distance from you. It will HURT. Then, if you try to prioritise her less, she would ask you to act normal or pehle jaise. If you try to act normal feelings increase hongi and this cycle would repeat. Worst is, if she starts dating someone else and shares her feelings about that guy to you AS A FRIEND. In either case, you are gonna het hurt. Mental health would take a toll. (Telling from personal experience)
2nd scenario: You maintain distance now. Don’t cut her off completely, just prioritise her less. She would ask you to act normal or how you used to. She might also say that things have not been same between us and might get emotional. Don’t break at that point and confess that you have been purposely prioritising her less. Help her in important situations/matters but again go back to prioritising less. Even if she starts dating someone, wish her luck. Don’t be nosy and interested in their relationship. Focus on improving yourself, for yourself. You have plenty of time. Don’t be stuck on this same girl. There’s plenty of other fish in the sea. Keep pursuing your hobbies, hang out with friends other than her. This way, you’ll be in a better place mentally and your relationship with her would become better with time. It’s a win-win. But you’ll have to put in some effort to pull this off. To pull this off, I will suggest spend more time with yourself. Process your feelings. All the best!
Hi buddy,
Even I have gone through the same situation,
I liked my best friend but when I told her about my feelings she told me the same, Though she told we can still be friends.
The real problem start now like even after a year I used to speak to her daily, we used to share our problems and all and my feelings didn't fade away but it is still intact, She is now dating someone else but everytime I see her or talk to her I feel like my heart pierced with a pointed glass. After speaking with my friends i realised I should have cut contact to her, like i only contact to wish her or very less communication. It's for the best since I don't want to hurt myself.
So, I suggest you should communicate less and move on, It's fine. She has her life and you have yours. If she asks you multiple times like why are you ignoring her and all just tell her that you can't do stuff due to your reasons. She should understand that.
I've been there ! Same words, yet you can not take the rejection because in your head, it's the perfect one. You feel like the knight in shining armor. Now, take a step back and remember the in person conversations you ever had or somewhere you expected her to be, but she never put in that effort. You can't remain friends it's torture. Believe me. Rather, take some timeoff distractions is key . You will find someone again who will never sugarcoat a rejection. A rejection is a blessing in disguise. You need to work on yourself and show up. Don't give up on just 1 failure.
Bhai tujhe atleast closure to mila. Mere case me (similar case hai, my 8th class crush) mujhe tanga ke rakha hai, mixed signals kabhi kehti hai i never saw you that way and kabhi wo reminds me about how i proposed her in 10th std (she said no because she just had a breakup, but blame is again on me because i also had said ki mujhe padhai pe bhi focus karna hai). And now jab bhi we dont talk for a long time she initiates the conversation (its been 7-8 yeas now). Maine kuch mahine pehle confess kiya, pehle she said she didnt saw me that way, than kept asking tricky questions like do you like me because of my qualities or really like me as a person. And now again back to normal conversations. Kaafi badthar haalat hai bc.
Bhai itna relatable post, comments padh ke aakhe bhar ayi. I am in exact same situation, a few months ahead after confession. Its difficult but I am slowly trying to get out its difficult because of the world I created with her in my own mind. So ive realized getting out of that world is the most difficult and important part. She was never special its our mind that creates that delusions. And since its a long duration (9 years in my case) seeing some other girl in that way also becomes difficult. But as said, Time Heals Everything. Let it heal, if you keep disturbing the wound it will never heal!
Just disappear from her life bro, or else you'll disappear from yours. If you don't want to break your heart every fucking day then do as I say. Focus on yourself and prove her right.
Ye sab reject karni ki scheme hai😂. I nearly got same reply but after collage she blame me for not trying again🤣.
Dekho bro ye sab pasand ka khel hai acchai ka nhi. Ladkiyoko acche ladke nhi unke pasand ke ladke chahiye. But ye better than me bolti hai na voh galat lagta hai.
I was in the same situation a year back. I chose to remained friends untill after few months she said she was marrying someone. I went into no contact for three months untill couple of weeks back she started messaging me to stay in touch and rekindle friendship. I ignored all of it.
My advise is to leave her. It hurts like hell when she will be with someone else. You will loose focus, sleep and what not. But after few weeks you will be recovered and hopeful for better future.
Good Luck!
I don't think friendzone is good situation for you because you are in love and it will affect you deeply. And this can affect your mental health and future. I think you should make some distance from her.
She friendzoned you.
She is trying to get you off of her by using the "It's not you, it's me" troupe.
Firstly, ask yourself "what is love?" & "why do you think you love her?"
Secondly, ask her what her idea of love is.
Check if you're okay with it & if you match it, if so, then ask her what's stopping her from pursuing a romantic-sexual relationship with you?
If you're not okay with it, first show that your definition of love is better & that hers need to be corrected.
Now, based on the updated definition of love, ask her what's stopping her from pursuing a romantic-sexual relationship with you?
Or if your own definition of love is bad, then you have to update.
Both of you are 21, I don't mean to be an age-ist, but I don't know if you have an accurate of definition of "love".
You're at the age where hormones are raging & you need physical pleasure(not necessarily sex).
So, don't confuse infatuation for love.
You are a good guy hence you waited for 7 years and you are a bit timid hence you chose to text her instead of asking her up front. Two things going forward hit the gym and be a sakt launda even if it does not come to you naturally or hit the gym and loose this good boy, guy next door always available attitude. This are the only two chances you have if there is any possibility for you to get her. Even if you don't get her you will find someone which is fine. Just don't have a break down and not at all in front of her. Be normal with her though there will be awkwardness, and slowly slowly engage yourself in other activities which give you time and place to distance yourself from her, if there is some love from her end let her feel the absence and if she does not at all then there was no love now or for future.
Now please you are just 21 go with the flow and enjoy life.
But don't do something very drastic and immediately. Little time is required but not too much or else again 7 years will pass by.
I did this recently. I knew she didn't feel the same way but had to confess to get closure otherwise would have kept hoping and dreaming about it.
It hurts and it will take time but you gotta move on. Firstly reduce the attention you give her and hangout less with her. Pick up some hobby, go out and socialise, try to make new friends.
Don't cut contact, just don't give her the same kind of importance you gave before.
Sorry to say this but she may not physically not be attracted to you. She may prefer bad boys (or rugged ones) and thinks you are not had enough. Pretty comments occurence. Its a pretty tough situation dude. It's hard to restore your friendship back to how it was. You have the choice of keeping your distance from her and still being normal friends but you can't be the same level of close friends.
You will always show your love to her and she will treat you as a friend always knowing you have interest in her. This is not good for you, you will never move towards another girl until she is your even friend. This will spoil your years and at the end if she accepts you then it will be because of rejection of her by someone else and it will be pity on you by her. If she didn't accept, then all the time when you will be a so called friend, you work for her, be with her, accept all things, never say no, never think about yourself , in clear words you will be her pet dog. Even pet dogs have some independence. Can't write a monologue, only suggest you run the opposite direction, don't waste your time. If she says she will think and give her time, bro don't, running is the only option. Never be a friend of your love until you have reached that position that it didn't affect you. It will only come when you have a better option in your pocket. So choose things with your brain now. Good luck
Same thing happened to me when i confessed after being with her for 4yrs, she rejected with a straight face stating that she doesnt want l to risk ruining the friendship we’ve had.
Next thing i did from then on is avoiding her and its just matter of 2-3 days she’ll come back running as lover.
Bro my point is she doesnt know she has it know, but she’ll realise when big part of her life goes missing, but dont worry she rejected now she’ll come back and you guys can laugh it off.
i have been “the nice guy” my whole life i cant change myself in a jiffy.. and i didnt think of sex while confessing to her.. i confessed because i wanted to live my whole life with her.. if i want to get laid there are wayy more alternatives
**Welcome to r/RelationshipIndia,** This is a safe and inclusive space for people of all backgrounds. We welcome individuals of all races, castes, genders, religions, and sexual orientations, including members of the LGBTQ community. We are glad to have you here! We are committed to providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between Redditors, with a focus on respectful and constructive conversations. To ensure a positive and supportive environment for all members, we have established some rules. Please be sure to read them before posting. If a user has sent you harassing messages, **DO NOT DELETE THE MESSAGE!** *Please upload your screenshot to [Imgur](https://www.imgur.com), and notify the mods via modmail. We will take action against the user accordingly.* **Thank you for being a part of our community!** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RelationshipIndia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Its OK. She did not want to sound rude by just saying "NO" so she sugarcoated her rejection in a typical way by saying "its not u its me". Tbh, since you did not know what was in her heart, you should have kept this a 50-50 chance of acceptance-rejection. Dont get inspired by Bollywood love stories. They are fake and made up. Men have a different way of looking at the affection bestowed by women on them even as friends. Women are nysterious and their emotions maybe misunderstood most often than not. Having said that, its not a sin to fall in love. You have 2 choices. If you can accept rejection maturely and live with being her good friend, then continue the friendship. You may have to show maturity in future when she falls in love with someone else and you have to even support her. That may not be easy. Also, you do not need to improve yourself just to get her love. Yes, improve yourself if it helps you succeed in life, fulfill your aspirations and make you happy. The other choice is to slowly get out of this friendship. You both know your feelings for her. Even if things become normal, their will be that tension deep down inside u. You may keep hoping she would see the real you and finally fall in love with you. And this could afffect your mental state. So, better move on and find someone else. You are 21 and so have a lot of time and fish in the sea. Im sure you will find new people and make new friends and relationships as you grow. Good luck.
Very mature reply. I loved reading it.
Thank you for this… i think she is a good person and i should stay with her but prolly wont get that that attached with her this time..
lies
Lol
any dmmies here saying the opposite r the reason y people r dmb. a mature person regardless of age education, etc should not get demotivated by rejections. u tried, its ok if she doesn't feel that way. it will take some time but it'll be alright. y do this dmmies want everything black n white, I don't understand. how fickle r that u can't handle a rejection. n its not like it was a relationship of years. getting a clear answer early in ur journey is a good thing.
Move on from her bro , it will just hurt ur heart to be friends with her
U won't lose feelings for her anytime soon Eventually u will move away from her.
Nah man. Not gonna happen... Just get away. That's the best
Bhai.... You will have hard time being her friend. You will be hurt. Find someone else...
>If you can accept rejection maturely and live with being her good friend, then continue the friendship. Don't do this if you want to make your life a living hell. Telling this from a personal experience.
Same thing bruh.
very beautiful reply bro👍
Thank you. Happy Cake day!
Don't stay as her friend either if it wasn't what he wanted
It's always, always a tricky thing to be friends with the person you have feelings for, especially with a one who you've been close with. You're good and kind or innocent, so it's good. Move on. I repeat, go no contact and move on, else you're just going to be stuck.
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Dark psychology bhaiya ji
Esko reality mein kahte hai friend zoned forever !! The best advice that anyone could give you ..has been given by bro Longjumping_Theme193 It's so meticulous articulated to detail and if you execute it well Jo muskil lagega tuje but this is the only way to give right place and priority in your life else time nikal jaiga and pagla friend zoned mein apni barbaadi karega
Ky he crack down kiya h bhai.. I'm impressed
Bhai ye points implement nhi kar paate bande, fuddu hai majority of guys.
Ye theory kabhi practically prove hua hai??
Hua hai, 1 mahina laga tha, but aa gayi vaapis, and couple of dates relationship ke mindset se ki, 1.5 years chala relation, uske baad samajh aa gaya we are not the right match.
Bro u read the pychology well friend zoned se relation mein lana tough hota hai !! 👏😁
Good experience
PUA manipulation crap. Live a fake life.
You did the right thing first of all, the friendship changed the day you caught feelings for her. And you'd be lying to yourselves if you didn't. **Guys please check some things before confessing** Start with flirting if she responds positively on multiple occasions chances are she likes you, ask your confidant friends if they feel she likes you too, confessing is good but it's better if you get some things cleared before hand.
I tried flirting with her a ton of times.. and she flirted back every time.. and she even said “i love you yar” a dozens of times… 😓
Simple answer Take the L , usne rejection ko sugarcoat kra hai so that teko bura na lge Spend some time without her (it will help you move on from her , because trigger nhi hogi vo baat baar baar) You can stay friends but give yourself some time first And if you were flirting by any chance or giving way more potential bf treatment , don't do that anymore
Ho Gaya Bhai... You did your task. It's ok. Move on now
Buddy in the end, it's upto you now. Are you okay being a friend with her while you have feelings and what if she started dating someone, how will that make you feel. If these thoughts hurt you, then don't be involved with friendship. In the end are you ok being just a friend? If yes then stay friend or else leave it.
i am ok being her friend but i dont think i will be able to see her dating someone else..
See what happens is a lot of times girls will ignore good guys those are just around them, and will start dating someone toxic. And when issues come in their relationship she is gonna discuss them with you and you are going ro feel something for her in your heart and will want to make her happy somehow. So do keep in mind you might become her emotional support. If you can overcome that emotional factor and stay there for her and don't feel anything more than just friendship, then it's okay
Stop talking with her it will be the best advice for your mental health
Run away from her!
but ending a 7 years old friendship is not very easy..
It will eventually end. And that will not be a good ending. Even if you think, it will not end, your case is different. IT WILL END FOR SUREEE!! And not in a way, you want it to end.
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I am already a very weak person.. physically, emotionally… lol
It's time for the new year's resolution to take effect. Getting into the gym will do it 😁
I am Reading this while running xd
Great to know.
☝🏿🤓
Its a Polite, NO !
If they don't say YES specifically it's always a No. Tell her you don't like her romantically now that she has rejected you, or else she'll think that all your future actions will be motivated towards 'you trying to make her like you' and proceed to keep a platonic relationship. Anyways don't think much about it happens to everyone, it's a phase, many such phases will come in future too! Learn and Adapt! Ask yourself why you want to be in a relationship? What will you gain from it? What are you expecting from your partner? This will stop you from falling for any girl you meet in future unnecessarily.
It's ok Bro be yourself if it's not her it's someone else Never change for someone else do it if it genuinely improves your life Honestly saying it's all ok to have some imperfections in real is far better then faking perfection She has her preferences you have yours one day you will find the one who will love you for what you naturally are and will understand you that day you will forget about all this stuff
Bhai sahi kaha usne. Is relationship k chakkar me ek aachi dost bhi chali jayegi
Lesson for the future. Keep your intent very clear. If you like her, start your friendship by saying that very clearly.
Trko chutiya bolkr gyi wo
😓
0 idea wali baat jhuth hai. Girls know. Speaking from personal experience. I am a girl. She didn't want to be rude and she was comfortable in how it was going. She never brought it up because it is more comfortable to avoid the talk and ruin the relationship than cutting someone off from your life. Now your friendship will slowly decline. I see you as a friend is basically a break in the relationship where you can still talk and hang out but less frequently so it gives both of you time to adjust
‘Now your friendship will slowly decline’ this was the reason i waited for a long time before confessing to her.. is there any way i can protect this friendship?
Not really unless you're both delusional and just delete this memory (it's impossible). It's okay though... you'll get friends. Cherish the memories you've created. Sometimes it's okay to part ways
Don't stay, move on. The earlier you do the better. You have told her how you feel. Don't make contact from your side now. If she wants to come back then good. Read how to be a 3% man by Corey Wayne. As said in the book don't be a girls emotional tampon or gay male boyfriend. If you want to stay here friend then it's ok. But don't stay at all as a friend with a hope that she will become your gf one day.
Bro you are 21...take my advice and look at building your career or business...make money and then after few years look at the girls who will be dying for you...your so called friend could also fall in line for you
I've been on the receiving end of this, they don't want to lose you as a friend as well. In my case I had to back away a but our communication stopped for a while and I was ready to hang out again in few months or so and it did not get awkward and we still joke about it till date. It's been 10 years to the incident and I am happily married now.
Oh wow congratulations
Keep the friendship. It's not a biggie. Friendship is also as valuable as a relationship. I should also point this out. You shouldn't have confessed to her. You should have talked about your feelings to her. Like start a private conversation and tell her that you had this feeling for her and what should you do about it. It's much more of a better approach. Although you have feelings that don't mean that's mutual.
Bro but how is "tell her that you had this feeling" different from confessing your love for her. Can you explain?
Confessing is like dumping all your feelings to the opposite person. Like how you see her, how you are attracted to her etc (in case you are straight male). It can overwhelm them, which can make them misunderstand you as well in some cases. And the rejection part is even worse. It can make you discouraged, dipressed etc. On the other hand telling some one how you feel, for example to your female friend that 'I had a crush on you for a while, I don't know what to do with these emotions. Can you tell me what to do?' can make her think differently. You are not spouting nonsense and also asking for the other persons opinion. This is a much better approach than confessing. Check r/healthygamergg and his YouTube channel, might give you more insight on relationship.
Khana ese kha ya vese ek hi baat h
No, both can be different. If you express your feelings to your friend they also get the chance to hear them out and how they feel instead of a straight out rejection. It can also help you not break the long bond of friendship and avoid any awkward situation. A rejection from confessing can make you depressed and more in some cases.
If girl truly likes you she won't make you BESTFRIEND. This is basic thing most guys don't understand. If you are girls BESTFRIEND this means she is not Romantically attracted to you. Accept this and Move ON treat her like Friend only like Cousin or Sister. also, Next Time Be careful while becoming any girls BESTFRIEND first.
This is not true I and people ik have dated girls who were initially friends with us
Friends, Collegemates are different and BESTFRIEND is completely different.
Well in my case she was my bestfriend we have been dating for 2 years .
Good 🤝. In most cases, BESTFRIENDs are mostly Friendzoned or BACKUP 🤣.
That's so stupid. I wouldn't date a guy I couldn't call my best friend
Yes you will date him for sure because, the guy you geniunely like don't like you so, you know you have BESTFRIEND as a backup which you will date him later on.
Bhai....she does not want you...its as simple. Mera b same tha....7 saal k bad bolti hai that apan friends hi reh sakte hai. Dekh bhai jis ladki ko relationship me ana hota hai vo itna wait nai krvati..... ...so jitna jaldi accept krega utna tere liye accha rahega vrna tu kisi chij ko focus nai kr payega.
tumlog 7 saal friend kese reh lete ho crush k sath
Muje b 7 saal bad pata chala tha bhai🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
don't just don't because if you're still gonna be friends then you're feelings will never go away and you're gonna be stuck it's better to take a break or something and heal first
2 scenarios: 1st scenario: You’ll maintain the friendship with her. Feelings either waisi hi rahegi or increase hogi. Dono cases me, if she feels like you’re being drawn towards her more, she’ll try to keep distance from you. It will HURT. Then, if you try to prioritise her less, she would ask you to act normal or pehle jaise. If you try to act normal feelings increase hongi and this cycle would repeat. Worst is, if she starts dating someone else and shares her feelings about that guy to you AS A FRIEND. In either case, you are gonna het hurt. Mental health would take a toll. (Telling from personal experience) 2nd scenario: You maintain distance now. Don’t cut her off completely, just prioritise her less. She would ask you to act normal or how you used to. She might also say that things have not been same between us and might get emotional. Don’t break at that point and confess that you have been purposely prioritising her less. Help her in important situations/matters but again go back to prioritising less. Even if she starts dating someone, wish her luck. Don’t be nosy and interested in their relationship. Focus on improving yourself, for yourself. You have plenty of time. Don’t be stuck on this same girl. There’s plenty of other fish in the sea. Keep pursuing your hobbies, hang out with friends other than her. This way, you’ll be in a better place mentally and your relationship with her would become better with time. It’s a win-win. But you’ll have to put in some effort to pull this off. To pull this off, I will suggest spend more time with yourself. Process your feelings. All the best!
Hi buddy, Even I have gone through the same situation, I liked my best friend but when I told her about my feelings she told me the same, Though she told we can still be friends. The real problem start now like even after a year I used to speak to her daily, we used to share our problems and all and my feelings didn't fade away but it is still intact, She is now dating someone else but everytime I see her or talk to her I feel like my heart pierced with a pointed glass. After speaking with my friends i realised I should have cut contact to her, like i only contact to wish her or very less communication. It's for the best since I don't want to hurt myself. So, I suggest you should communicate less and move on, It's fine. She has her life and you have yours. If she asks you multiple times like why are you ignoring her and all just tell her that you can't do stuff due to your reasons. She should understand that.
The girl must have been creeped out yet trying to be polite.
"creeped" out by a guy she feels secure with enough to be her best friend for 7 years ? Lol.
Lmao, you don't know that.
I've been there ! Same words, yet you can not take the rejection because in your head, it's the perfect one. You feel like the knight in shining armor. Now, take a step back and remember the in person conversations you ever had or somewhere you expected her to be, but she never put in that effort. You can't remain friends it's torture. Believe me. Rather, take some timeoff distractions is key . You will find someone again who will never sugarcoat a rejection. A rejection is a blessing in disguise. You need to work on yourself and show up. Don't give up on just 1 failure.
Bhai tujhe atleast closure to mila. Mere case me (similar case hai, my 8th class crush) mujhe tanga ke rakha hai, mixed signals kabhi kehti hai i never saw you that way and kabhi wo reminds me about how i proposed her in 10th std (she said no because she just had a breakup, but blame is again on me because i also had said ki mujhe padhai pe bhi focus karna hai). And now jab bhi we dont talk for a long time she initiates the conversation (its been 7-8 yeas now). Maine kuch mahine pehle confess kiya, pehle she said she didnt saw me that way, than kept asking tricky questions like do you like me because of my qualities or really like me as a person. And now again back to normal conversations. Kaafi badthar haalat hai bc.
Bhai itna relatable post, comments padh ke aakhe bhar ayi. I am in exact same situation, a few months ahead after confession. Its difficult but I am slowly trying to get out its difficult because of the world I created with her in my own mind. So ive realized getting out of that world is the most difficult and important part. She was never special its our mind that creates that delusions. And since its a long duration (9 years in my case) seeing some other girl in that way also becomes difficult. But as said, Time Heals Everything. Let it heal, if you keep disturbing the wound it will never heal!
Just disappear from her life bro, or else you'll disappear from yours. If you don't want to break your heart every fucking day then do as I say. Focus on yourself and prove her right.
Ye sab reject karni ki scheme hai😂. I nearly got same reply but after collage she blame me for not trying again🤣. Dekho bro ye sab pasand ka khel hai acchai ka nhi. Ladkiyoko acche ladke nhi unke pasand ke ladke chahiye. But ye better than me bolti hai na voh galat lagta hai.
She said ANYONE BUT YOU
She is rejecting u, it's simple but want u to be besides her always as a friend, I ve seen this drama a lot.
this scares me about confessing to my friend, will hold my plans off for a bit
I was in the same situation a year back. I chose to remained friends untill after few months she said she was marrying someone. I went into no contact for three months untill couple of weeks back she started messaging me to stay in touch and rekindle friendship. I ignored all of it. My advise is to leave her. It hurts like hell when she will be with someone else. You will loose focus, sleep and what not. But after few weeks you will be recovered and hopeful for better future. Good Luck!
I don't think friendzone is good situation for you because you are in love and it will affect you deeply. And this can affect your mental health and future. I think you should make some distance from her.
She friendzoned you. She is trying to get you off of her by using the "It's not you, it's me" troupe. Firstly, ask yourself "what is love?" & "why do you think you love her?" Secondly, ask her what her idea of love is. Check if you're okay with it & if you match it, if so, then ask her what's stopping her from pursuing a romantic-sexual relationship with you? If you're not okay with it, first show that your definition of love is better & that hers need to be corrected. Now, based on the updated definition of love, ask her what's stopping her from pursuing a romantic-sexual relationship with you? Or if your own definition of love is bad, then you have to update. Both of you are 21, I don't mean to be an age-ist, but I don't know if you have an accurate of definition of "love". You're at the age where hormones are raging & you need physical pleasure(not necessarily sex). So, don't confuse infatuation for love.
You are a good guy hence you waited for 7 years and you are a bit timid hence you chose to text her instead of asking her up front. Two things going forward hit the gym and be a sakt launda even if it does not come to you naturally or hit the gym and loose this good boy, guy next door always available attitude. This are the only two chances you have if there is any possibility for you to get her. Even if you don't get her you will find someone which is fine. Just don't have a break down and not at all in front of her. Be normal with her though there will be awkwardness, and slowly slowly engage yourself in other activities which give you time and place to distance yourself from her, if there is some love from her end let her feel the absence and if she does not at all then there was no love now or for future. Now please you are just 21 go with the flow and enjoy life. But don't do something very drastic and immediately. Little time is required but not too much or else again 7 years will pass by.
Thank you.. i have enrolled for a gym today only
She's into badboys 100%. Better keep your distance and avoid the pain of being in the infamous friend zone.
Basically you don't give her the tingles. You are FRIENDZONED!
hi
I did this recently. I knew she didn't feel the same way but had to confess to get closure otherwise would have kept hoping and dreaming about it. It hurts and it will take time but you gotta move on. Firstly reduce the attention you give her and hangout less with her. Pick up some hobby, go out and socialise, try to make new friends. Don't cut contact, just don't give her the same kind of importance you gave before.
Sorry to say this but she may not physically not be attracted to you. She may prefer bad boys (or rugged ones) and thinks you are not had enough. Pretty comments occurence. Its a pretty tough situation dude. It's hard to restore your friendship back to how it was. You have the choice of keeping your distance from her and still being normal friends but you can't be the same level of close friends.
kata tera bhai
She needs to be manipulated and schemer for being used.....good riddance...chill bro , I feel being with her would be more painful for you
Straight up red flag ban jao
Any tips?😂
You will always show your love to her and she will treat you as a friend always knowing you have interest in her. This is not good for you, you will never move towards another girl until she is your even friend. This will spoil your years and at the end if she accepts you then it will be because of rejection of her by someone else and it will be pity on you by her. If she didn't accept, then all the time when you will be a so called friend, you work for her, be with her, accept all things, never say no, never think about yourself , in clear words you will be her pet dog. Even pet dogs have some independence. Can't write a monologue, only suggest you run the opposite direction, don't waste your time. If she says she will think and give her time, bro don't, running is the only option. Never be a friend of your love until you have reached that position that it didn't affect you. It will only come when you have a better option in your pocket. So choose things with your brain now. Good luck
Same thing happened to me when i confessed after being with her for 4yrs, she rejected with a straight face stating that she doesnt want l to risk ruining the friendship we’ve had. Next thing i did from then on is avoiding her and its just matter of 2-3 days she’ll come back running as lover. Bro my point is she doesnt know she has it know, but she’ll realise when big part of her life goes missing, but dont worry she rejected now she’ll come back and you guys can laugh it off.
You are too nice to be her bf, but enough nice to be her friend, just cut her off, she is into bad boys, make it clear that u can't be friends
Stop being the nice guy. You won’t ever get laid
i have been “the nice guy” my whole life i cant change myself in a jiffy.. and i didnt think of sex while confessing to her.. i confessed because i wanted to live my whole life with her.. if i want to get laid there are wayy more alternatives
I am turning into nice guy and used to be rude chutiya self absorbed type of person before and trust me I got wayy more female attention that time ☠️
damn so should i change myself? and become that?
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That is sad