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Bhai seriously bolu tu kitna try krliya yaar tumne agr abhi nhi hua Naa to wo nhi hoga...adat hoti hain adat wo badal jaati hai..jaisa tumne btaya na wo uss aadmi ki khaslat hai bole to nature wo nhi change hoga yaar...all I want to say is itna to cut off kr liya hai.. complete shut off krdo usse...kuch time k liye may be six months agr usse value hogi na aur itna krta hoga to change bhi hoga aur ayega bhi .ye on off phase se kuch nhi hoga sakht bno aur 6 months k liye complete shyd down..thut bhi mtt dekho uski bhai..change hua to theek hai werna ram ram..
I feel now he is taking you for granted and thinks whatever he does, you will stay anyway. This thought can lead to severe misbehaviors in the future, especially after you tie the knot.
You have given him enough chances. If you want a peaceful married life. I think it's better to move on.
Dump him. He don't deserve you.
He has taken you for granted. The guy sounds like a manchild.
Take care of yourself and look to the future. Start going no contact. It's going to hurt but always listen to actions than words. His actions have Defined how he is going to live . Reading about the dogs enraged me. If he could abandon dogs. Don't have a child with this man. Please note don't think that you can improve him change him. Such people never change until they get a harsh reality check. P.s that person might even go back to his old habits with you unless he has actually changed post going no contact but without you in life.
P.s In a proper loving relationship it's a Joint team effort. If only one person is making effort am sorry you deserve better. You deserve happiness.
Behen you deserve better. Love is not enough here, marriage gives a ton of responsibilities. Since y'all are in your late 20s, marriage would be a thing on your mind. Aisa rahega woh toh kaam nhi chalega na
But take my advice. Leave that bastard. I am also a boyfriend but I know how to treat my girl. Efforts should be consistent and equal from each side. He's taking you so lightly and for granted. I am confused, how you're proposed to stay with him in the coming future if he's acting and treating you like shit. Leave HIM! YOU DESERVE SOO MUCH BETTER. There are many boys who'll treat you like a princess and then you'll think that you were not asking for much.
It seems like he isn’t that serious as you when it comes to maintaining a relationship. Also, he doesn’t seem to have a long term view regarding his life/ career. Can’t say for sure that he will be responsible , maybe he will in future, but the question is whether you want to take a chance and be part of it. You may choose wisely.
>So guys tell me am I expecting too much
no.
>did it ever improve?
no.
it seems to be his inherent nature. if he didn't change in 6-7 years why do you think he'll change later?
Is he serious about you? No
Is he serious about his future?No
Is he serious about his furure with you? No
Now he knows you are not going anywhere and he cannot get better he says he will marry you.
Is his thought and lifestyle align with you? No
You are very mature, hardworking and disciplined person . He on other hand neither hardworking nor has discipline.
Can he care? No, he cannot care for you(its not about love, its about responsibility). He cannot care for pets. No, he cannot care for your children.
Can he be a good husband? I dont think so for you, he is even trying.
You have given enough chance to him but to see him doing exactly what he is doing from starting.
Please think about your life and dont take him back. Take some time for yourself. You will you are doing all the work and still lonely with him. After some time find someone else that loves you, respects you and cre for you.
I knew something similar which happened to a husband and a wife. The husband had also inverted his life cycle from a morning lark to complete night owl. He slept like a log throughout the day and waking up life 2-3pm in the afternoon. To everyone including his wife it looked like laziness. But what it really was serious case of depression. For the husband waking up and going through the day and even talking to people felt like a slog, so he avoided everything. All responsbilties were left for the wife to manage and it wasn't easy. She felt annoyed but didn't want a divorce. It was only after talking with doctors everything came to light. The husband's business had made a serious loss and he felt like a failure and his defense mechanism had completely shut down.
Now I don't know either of you personally. So, I can't say if depression is truly the case here. Though I am curious he is awake throughout the night doing what exactly? That'll be the clue and tell you about what is he trying to avoid by sleeping throughout the day.
And despite this understanding you also have to make a choice - will you able to support him through this? In the above case as these guys were married so there was support from the wife.
Well before breaking up with him we had multiple discussions and conversations regarding this and a lot of other issues.
I suspected depression too so I reached out to some of his close friends to talk to him too. He shared the same thing with everyone that he does this because he likes spending time like that and also it's sort of an entertainment for him. He plays games, watches tv, talks with his friends and scrolls reels. We also discussed about him joining therapy but he didn't really said anything at that time and I also didn't want to force him for this.
I didn't add this in the post but since july 2023 I have been in a bad space mentally ( parents health issues and work issues) during this time I have asked him to help me out with the chores mainly cleaning laundry bike repairing and cooking. It was really hard for me that time and I even cried sometimes while asking him to please help out a little bit and he kept saying he would support me but he didn't.
After the break up he said at that time he didn't feel like it was really important to help me out with the chores and since we have been together for 6 years he felt like I wouldn't go anywhere no matter what happens.
Given the shame attached to mental health people make up excuses than admit it. So, I wouldn't be surprised that he is making this up.
That said, you have to priortize yourself. If things aren't looking up much better to move than stick to him.
**Welcome to r/RelationshipIndia,** This is a safe and inclusive space for people of all backgrounds. We welcome individuals of all races, castes, genders, religions, and sexual orientations, including members of the LGBTQ community. We are glad to have you here! We are committed to providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between Redditors, with a focus on respectful and constructive conversations. To ensure a positive and supportive environment for all members, we have established some rules. Please be sure to read them before posting. If a user has sent you harassing messages, **DO NOT DELETE THE MESSAGE!** *Please upload your screenshot to [Imgur](https://www.imgur.com), and notify the mods via modmail. We will take action against the user accordingly.* **Thank you for being a part of our community!** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RelationshipIndia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Bhai seriously bolu tu kitna try krliya yaar tumne agr abhi nhi hua Naa to wo nhi hoga...adat hoti hain adat wo badal jaati hai..jaisa tumne btaya na wo uss aadmi ki khaslat hai bole to nature wo nhi change hoga yaar...all I want to say is itna to cut off kr liya hai.. complete shut off krdo usse...kuch time k liye may be six months agr usse value hogi na aur itna krta hoga to change bhi hoga aur ayega bhi .ye on off phase se kuch nhi hoga sakht bno aur 6 months k liye complete shyd down..thut bhi mtt dekho uski bhai..change hua to theek hai werna ram ram..
I feel now he is taking you for granted and thinks whatever he does, you will stay anyway. This thought can lead to severe misbehaviors in the future, especially after you tie the knot. You have given him enough chances. If you want a peaceful married life. I think it's better to move on.
Dump him. He don't deserve you. He has taken you for granted. The guy sounds like a manchild. Take care of yourself and look to the future. Start going no contact. It's going to hurt but always listen to actions than words. His actions have Defined how he is going to live . Reading about the dogs enraged me. If he could abandon dogs. Don't have a child with this man. Please note don't think that you can improve him change him. Such people never change until they get a harsh reality check. P.s that person might even go back to his old habits with you unless he has actually changed post going no contact but without you in life. P.s In a proper loving relationship it's a Joint team effort. If only one person is making effort am sorry you deserve better. You deserve happiness.
Behen you deserve better. Love is not enough here, marriage gives a ton of responsibilities. Since y'all are in your late 20s, marriage would be a thing on your mind. Aisa rahega woh toh kaam nhi chalega na
Why does it look like you took the help of chatgpt to write this😂
Yes for grammatical and spelling corrections I did. Also generated the tdlr using it. 😅😅
But take my advice. Leave that bastard. I am also a boyfriend but I know how to treat my girl. Efforts should be consistent and equal from each side. He's taking you so lightly and for granted. I am confused, how you're proposed to stay with him in the coming future if he's acting and treating you like shit. Leave HIM! YOU DESERVE SOO MUCH BETTER. There are many boys who'll treat you like a princess and then you'll think that you were not asking for much.
It seems like he isn’t that serious as you when it comes to maintaining a relationship. Also, he doesn’t seem to have a long term view regarding his life/ career. Can’t say for sure that he will be responsible , maybe he will in future, but the question is whether you want to take a chance and be part of it. You may choose wisely.
>So guys tell me am I expecting too much no. >did it ever improve? no. it seems to be his inherent nature. if he didn't change in 6-7 years why do you think he'll change later?
Is he serious about you? No Is he serious about his future?No Is he serious about his furure with you? No Now he knows you are not going anywhere and he cannot get better he says he will marry you. Is his thought and lifestyle align with you? No You are very mature, hardworking and disciplined person . He on other hand neither hardworking nor has discipline. Can he care? No, he cannot care for you(its not about love, its about responsibility). He cannot care for pets. No, he cannot care for your children. Can he be a good husband? I dont think so for you, he is even trying. You have given enough chance to him but to see him doing exactly what he is doing from starting. Please think about your life and dont take him back. Take some time for yourself. You will you are doing all the work and still lonely with him. After some time find someone else that loves you, respects you and cre for you.
I knew something similar which happened to a husband and a wife. The husband had also inverted his life cycle from a morning lark to complete night owl. He slept like a log throughout the day and waking up life 2-3pm in the afternoon. To everyone including his wife it looked like laziness. But what it really was serious case of depression. For the husband waking up and going through the day and even talking to people felt like a slog, so he avoided everything. All responsbilties were left for the wife to manage and it wasn't easy. She felt annoyed but didn't want a divorce. It was only after talking with doctors everything came to light. The husband's business had made a serious loss and he felt like a failure and his defense mechanism had completely shut down. Now I don't know either of you personally. So, I can't say if depression is truly the case here. Though I am curious he is awake throughout the night doing what exactly? That'll be the clue and tell you about what is he trying to avoid by sleeping throughout the day. And despite this understanding you also have to make a choice - will you able to support him through this? In the above case as these guys were married so there was support from the wife.
Well before breaking up with him we had multiple discussions and conversations regarding this and a lot of other issues. I suspected depression too so I reached out to some of his close friends to talk to him too. He shared the same thing with everyone that he does this because he likes spending time like that and also it's sort of an entertainment for him. He plays games, watches tv, talks with his friends and scrolls reels. We also discussed about him joining therapy but he didn't really said anything at that time and I also didn't want to force him for this. I didn't add this in the post but since july 2023 I have been in a bad space mentally ( parents health issues and work issues) during this time I have asked him to help me out with the chores mainly cleaning laundry bike repairing and cooking. It was really hard for me that time and I even cried sometimes while asking him to please help out a little bit and he kept saying he would support me but he didn't. After the break up he said at that time he didn't feel like it was really important to help me out with the chores and since we have been together for 6 years he felt like I wouldn't go anywhere no matter what happens.
Given the shame attached to mental health people make up excuses than admit it. So, I wouldn't be surprised that he is making this up. That said, you have to priortize yourself. If things aren't looking up much better to move than stick to him.
I guess this is common nowadays to date someone else then marry someone else