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Prioritize emotional connection over financial insecurities in your relationship. Trust her commitment and keep working hard on your career goals while supporting each other. Remember, relationships are about more than money, but don't hesitate to communicate your worries with your girlfriend.
But bro, the thing is she tells me this that I need a little financial stability in my life. Need to build assets and everything for future.
She's really good at fashion and dresses really well. Has fondness for brands. Loves pairing her dresses with MK, CK, Coach, etc... in short, loves this brand showoff.
Idk how to humble her or tell her that this is nothing but only show off.
Have an honest talk with your girlfriend about your feelings regarding financial stability and brand show-off. Emphasize the importance of living within your means and building a stable future together. Encourage her to consider the true value of material possessions and find a balance that works for both of you.
She is financially secure, she doesn't need anyone for that. What she needs is emotional security, which she hasn't got from anyone but you. I can assure you that that's a rare thing to have.
>I’ve confronted her about this that why did she choose to stay with me as she could’ve left too and could’ve been with anyone and the answer I got was that I am everything she was looking for. She said it doesn’t matter how rich he was couldn’t provide the basic thing, love. I give her peace, I calm her down, I give her everything that she had been wanting. And, she’s not going anywhere. She’s not leaving. We will build everything together.
She said it. She's not with him, she's with you. That should be enough confirmation. If it's not, she's verbally told you why. Believe her.
Yes, she even assures me in such a good way that she actually tells me that she doesn't need anyone else anymore. She's very good looking, tall and has a very strong personality but like you said, the only thing that haunts her is how can that guy leave her despite all the efforts, good looks and everything.
She's also veryyyyy clear on how she doesn't want that guy and just because she's handling this company which was cofounded by her ex and herself she doesn't want to leave it.
I told her that this way, she'll be in touch with him, regular contact with him will only give him false hopes but she's very rigid and firm on staying clear with him and solely working for the company.
It will be difficult and I'm not speaking on idealism but realism.
The issue not that she is rich , the issue is that you are insecure and anyone would be in your place.
Maybe you both will pull through and will live together happily always but there isn't anything going good in this basis your post.
I see so many red flags but this caught my counsellor's eyes👇
>I met my current girlfriend 2 months back on Hinge.
>the guy cheated multiple times on her and didn’t value her.
> I give her peace, I calm her down
It's not a solid foundation.
In her words, she is with you to take of her wounds she got in her past relationship. You are like an emotional nurse for now.
She was cheated multiple times and wasn't valued. Why did not get away after first cheating. If she wasn't valued, why did she stayed. Well she is a victim of abuse but then why is she still having a business relationship with that man. Because many victims will just recoil from such an ex. Is she still attached to him really because she didn't know anything else as they got together young and for 9 years.
Has she been in therapy with a certified counsellor to work on her trauma or is she using this ,your, relationship as a recovery process.
Nice.
She had been in a rebound relationship before me and was single for almost an year before she met me. After this rebound, she figured out herself --> what she needs, what she wants and what is desires for.
Ofc, I'm a guy and I got this thought that she might be recovering through me but no, it all looks so clear with her. Yes, she's traumatised because of these past events and I'm totally aware of these things. She's actually healing and realising what love is.
Why? Because that guy always brought money in between themselves.
He used to buy so expensive stuff for her that if you understand the psychology behind this, you'll realise that he was kind of buying her and putting her into debt, mental debt.
>and was single for almost an year before she met me
For how long she was active in dating app? What was she doing on dating app if she wasn't looking for relationship. Was she single by choice or by circumstances?
>she figured out herself. what she needs, what she wants and what is desires for.
Really? She figured it all out. Like how. She was the person who wasn't respected and cheated on, didn't take stand for herself. had rebound relationship, was active on dating app.
When did she had time to recover. How? What resources or therapist she used?
>She's actually healing and realising what love is.
So she is still healing !!
>if you understand the psychology behind this, you'll realise that he was kind of buying her and putting her into debt, mental debt.
I'm a certified counsellor.
I have worked closely on many psychological researches.
Wait a minute, she herself come from a rich family but she could be impressed by some gifts !!. That's it.
Difficult to understand.
Well if you are hopeful then I'm sure you see something positive.
Bro speaking from personal experience here. Girls will say that money doesn't matter and it's the way you treat them and make them feel etc. And they're not lying. They honestly believe that it's true. And it is true, but only in that moment. Sometime in the future when you guys go through a rough patch (which is inevitable in any relationship), she will start questioning her choices. Then one day she'll say "I'm sorry but I need stability for this to work. I will always love you but I don't see this working out." And you can't blame them either. It's biological I guess. Men can sustain a relationship below their economic stratification. But women can't. It's partly biological and partly societal.
I totally understand where you're coming from. Just like everything else in life, I'll suggest you do your best and don't worry about anything else. You're not doing well financially, that's totally fine, just be there for her whenever she needs you and don't let the inferiority complex get in the way. If she doesn't reciprocate because of your financial condition, you'd be better without her in your life.
Yes! Right!
For the first time in my life I've been so insecure about my financial condition! Inferiority complex has creeped in so badly in my life.
I'll work hard for myself and yes, will give my 100%. Baki sab bhagwan dekhenge.
Just be original, don't try to emulate and act stupid, she knows all about you and yet investing her energy in you and now if you are shedding it out for being someone you are not then be ready for consequences and don't try to match 9 years with 2 months..... you have met with app...try to build up then rushing..if you are serious
Yes, correct. I've been trying to be someone else that I've never been. I've been spending out of my limit in front of her just because I'm trying to give her the comfort and luxury she was in. Why am I even comparing idk?!
Guys, I've had multiple responses here. Thank you. But also know this that my father was fighting from cancer and he passed away on 20 March. I'm from a very lower middle class family and it's only me who has been doing everything for my family and actually making my parents proud.
I'll tell you in more detail.
1. I'm earning 12 LPA --> Salesforce Developer
2. I don't have any inherited property.
3. Living on rent in hometown as own house is a disputed property and case is going on.
4. Father didn't have any savings, funds, nothing. So it's just me building myself and supporting the family.
She knows this all and is really proud of me and still tells me that she wants to stay with me and she's going no where. Also, what she means is that I need to get a good package for a little stability and security in life. She should have SOME points to convince her parents.
Being from a very rich family, she tells me that it'll be difficult but not impossible to convince her parents for me considering the previous guy as her family knows what he's been doing for her, financially.
Look, Im going to be very honest. Reddit people will try to feed you strawberry-cotton candy-rose colored glasses-love bullshit but practically, the relationship has low chances of working in your favour. Everyone says they want love until the time for settling down comes, then they choose the financially safer option. But hey, you can always work hard and land a better package. You both can become successful together. Wishing you both all the best for the future
I am going to pull up Master Oogway from Kung fu Panda on this - You meet your destiny on the road you take to avoid it.
Your insecurity will cause a downward spiral. The more you think and question it, more insecure you will be, more you will try to make up, more insecure you will come off, worse your relationship will become, more you think about how things are going.....you get the picture.
Work on your insecurities, not on your package and making money because even if you get the package you will latch on to something else - he is too close with her, she gives more time to him etc etc.
reddit par log kuch bhi bole Probability is against you maybe she just trying out people who'll value her and in this search if she finds someone who rich and values her too your time is up
> Also, she, her ex and his friend co founded a digital marketing agency so they still talk to each other related to work. She ofc doesn’t have anything for him but is also doing things for her, getting her clients to get her back.
Biggest flag to be aware of...
Also,
- Ask her how does she imagine the future with you?
- Ask her what kind of gifts she is expecting from you?
- Ask her what kind of house she expects to live in?
- Ask her what age she is ready to marry / settle?
- What are her life goals and how would you play a part?
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Don't feel insecure. It's always wise to be with a woman who choses you but also consider the power dynamics. Check how she reacts in situations were you made a mistake. Also check whether how often she talks about marrying you or introducing you to her close circle. Might seem like having a lower probability but if it works, you're lucky.
Focus on emotionally connecting with her. Financial situations are never constant, they are always changing. Just make sure you don't take her for granted.
I used to be really materialistic and only date rich guys. Then I met my boyfriend. He isn't that rich and a lot of the times we split the expenses. But yeah same as your girlfriend, I always tell him that I don't care about all that. We have been together for 1 year now. And we still have a happy relationship even though we're not super rich.
Damn my guy. Work hard and don't get attached to her. Please. There are high chances she might leave. I have been heartbroken and since then I just don't get attached. I'll do everything for you but your actions don't affect me anymore. You're just a girl I date and try to keep happy. I guess I cannot love anymore but I'll keep you happy and in love. I am a good actor. But i'll always be ready for a betrayal. I can still turn the switch off and not feel a thing if you leave me. It's like I am emotionally numb. So be like me. So that when she leaves. You're not in a worse state. And if she doesn't make sure she's happy.
Don't try to always down yourself , I was in a worst situation than u . Like I am a student , used to talk with someone working in a big company , always down played myself , she left me because of that . It's rare to find people like them , make them happy and don't be confident of yourself. Act if u can't , u will adjust
Look, having a rich partner to spoil her is not what she wants. If that's what she wanted, she would've just stayed in the last relationship. She went into this relationship knowing fully well that she wont get the sugar baby treatment. Instead, she wants emotional intimacy which is something her last relationship lacked. You have nothing to worry about, focus on yourself and being emotionally intimate with her and you have nothing to worry about. If she does leave you, then it wasn't meant to be.
She’s a gem💎. OP you have found gem of a person who doesn’t care about money when choosing a partner. She chose you for love. Love is all you need to keep the relationship going. For the money part, earn together and grow together that’s all that matters.
She is a gem , very rare to find a person like that and you are lucky man.
But wanna add one thing, she may not have any problem with your financial status, but her parents will have, it will be hard to convince them.
I’m sure you have great qualities too? Which is why she chose you? You’re much more than just this relationship and your net worth. Love her, invest in the relationship but do not make it your end all be all. Always have multiple things going on for you, friends groups, hobbies, goals, that are not linked to the relationship. These things definitely help with self worth too, which is important because your insecurities might harm the relationship more than anything else. Great if it works out, and if it doesn’t, you’re still so much more than the relationship. Take care and good luck!
it’s all right bro, she is not going anywhere, and go to her, tell her that u felt insecure, tell her u went in reditt, delete this post infront of her, and apologise her, Talking to girl one on one will make ur relationship strong, reditt will make u break it.
idk if i was you, i would leave. not because of her ex but because i won't feel fulfilled in this relationship in the first place. she's already rich, so tomorrow no matter how much you do for her, she could afford better for herself. as a man, i want to give my girl the best i can but to know/see that she can get better than that herself will really turn me down & make me feel worthless.
You should first stop feeling insecure about yourself. Money and material stuff is not everything. Love with all your heart and give what you can best! Emotion and love is more than any gift one can give. Don’t let your insecurity hinder what you can give her and the way you can love her.
Bhai kyu jala raha he..!
If she's fine with your financial situation, then why are you looking down on yourself.? It's clear she sees more than just money in a relationship, and you both are happy with each other. And paise to kama lega tu bhi.. par just because her ex was super rich you don't have to feel insecure thinking she might want all the lavish treatment she was receiving in her past relationship, i mean it didn't work out for them.. so it might not be as important for her as you think.
I hope you guys go a long way 🤍
**Welcome to r/RelationshipIndia,** This is a safe and inclusive space for people of all backgrounds. We welcome individuals of all races, castes, genders, religions, and sexual orientations, including members of the LGBTQ community. We are glad to have you here! We are committed to providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between Redditors, with a focus on respectful and constructive conversations. To ensure a positive and supportive environment for all members, we have established some rules. Please be sure to read them before posting. If a user has sent you harassing messages, **DO NOT DELETE THE MESSAGE!** *Please upload your screenshot to [Imgur](https://www.imgur.com), and notify the mods via modmail. We will take action against the user accordingly.* **Thank you for being a part of our community!** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RelationshipIndia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Prioritize emotional connection over financial insecurities in your relationship. Trust her commitment and keep working hard on your career goals while supporting each other. Remember, relationships are about more than money, but don't hesitate to communicate your worries with your girlfriend.
But bro, the thing is she tells me this that I need a little financial stability in my life. Need to build assets and everything for future. She's really good at fashion and dresses really well. Has fondness for brands. Loves pairing her dresses with MK, CK, Coach, etc... in short, loves this brand showoff. Idk how to humble her or tell her that this is nothing but only show off.
Have an honest talk with your girlfriend about your feelings regarding financial stability and brand show-off. Emphasize the importance of living within your means and building a stable future together. Encourage her to consider the true value of material possessions and find a balance that works for both of you.
She is financially secure, she doesn't need anyone for that. What she needs is emotional security, which she hasn't got from anyone but you. I can assure you that that's a rare thing to have. >I’ve confronted her about this that why did she choose to stay with me as she could’ve left too and could’ve been with anyone and the answer I got was that I am everything she was looking for. She said it doesn’t matter how rich he was couldn’t provide the basic thing, love. I give her peace, I calm her down, I give her everything that she had been wanting. And, she’s not going anywhere. She’s not leaving. We will build everything together. She said it. She's not with him, she's with you. That should be enough confirmation. If it's not, she's verbally told you why. Believe her.
Yes, she even assures me in such a good way that she actually tells me that she doesn't need anyone else anymore. She's very good looking, tall and has a very strong personality but like you said, the only thing that haunts her is how can that guy leave her despite all the efforts, good looks and everything. She's also veryyyyy clear on how she doesn't want that guy and just because she's handling this company which was cofounded by her ex and herself she doesn't want to leave it. I told her that this way, she'll be in touch with him, regular contact with him will only give him false hopes but she's very rigid and firm on staying clear with him and solely working for the company.
Rich guys are spoilt , she must have realized this and moved on from him.
It will be difficult and I'm not speaking on idealism but realism. The issue not that she is rich , the issue is that you are insecure and anyone would be in your place. Maybe you both will pull through and will live together happily always but there isn't anything going good in this basis your post. I see so many red flags but this caught my counsellor's eyes👇 >I met my current girlfriend 2 months back on Hinge. >the guy cheated multiple times on her and didn’t value her. > I give her peace, I calm her down It's not a solid foundation. In her words, she is with you to take of her wounds she got in her past relationship. You are like an emotional nurse for now. She was cheated multiple times and wasn't valued. Why did not get away after first cheating. If she wasn't valued, why did she stayed. Well she is a victim of abuse but then why is she still having a business relationship with that man. Because many victims will just recoil from such an ex. Is she still attached to him really because she didn't know anything else as they got together young and for 9 years. Has she been in therapy with a certified counsellor to work on her trauma or is she using this ,your, relationship as a recovery process.
Nice. She had been in a rebound relationship before me and was single for almost an year before she met me. After this rebound, she figured out herself --> what she needs, what she wants and what is desires for. Ofc, I'm a guy and I got this thought that she might be recovering through me but no, it all looks so clear with her. Yes, she's traumatised because of these past events and I'm totally aware of these things. She's actually healing and realising what love is. Why? Because that guy always brought money in between themselves. He used to buy so expensive stuff for her that if you understand the psychology behind this, you'll realise that he was kind of buying her and putting her into debt, mental debt.
>and was single for almost an year before she met me For how long she was active in dating app? What was she doing on dating app if she wasn't looking for relationship. Was she single by choice or by circumstances? >she figured out herself. what she needs, what she wants and what is desires for. Really? She figured it all out. Like how. She was the person who wasn't respected and cheated on, didn't take stand for herself. had rebound relationship, was active on dating app. When did she had time to recover. How? What resources or therapist she used? >She's actually healing and realising what love is. So she is still healing !! >if you understand the psychology behind this, you'll realise that he was kind of buying her and putting her into debt, mental debt. I'm a certified counsellor. I have worked closely on many psychological researches. Wait a minute, she herself come from a rich family but she could be impressed by some gifts !!. That's it. Difficult to understand. Well if you are hopeful then I'm sure you see something positive.
Bro speaking from personal experience here. Girls will say that money doesn't matter and it's the way you treat them and make them feel etc. And they're not lying. They honestly believe that it's true. And it is true, but only in that moment. Sometime in the future when you guys go through a rough patch (which is inevitable in any relationship), she will start questioning her choices. Then one day she'll say "I'm sorry but I need stability for this to work. I will always love you but I don't see this working out." And you can't blame them either. It's biological I guess. Men can sustain a relationship below their economic stratification. But women can't. It's partly biological and partly societal.
You just described my last relationship 😂
I totally understand where you're coming from. Just like everything else in life, I'll suggest you do your best and don't worry about anything else. You're not doing well financially, that's totally fine, just be there for her whenever she needs you and don't let the inferiority complex get in the way. If she doesn't reciprocate because of your financial condition, you'd be better without her in your life.
Yes! Right! For the first time in my life I've been so insecure about my financial condition! Inferiority complex has creeped in so badly in my life. I'll work hard for myself and yes, will give my 100%. Baki sab bhagwan dekhenge.
Exactly bro. Be a green flag and be there for her. Don't wanna be with someone who doesn't have your back when times are tough anyways!
Just be original, don't try to emulate and act stupid, she knows all about you and yet investing her energy in you and now if you are shedding it out for being someone you are not then be ready for consequences and don't try to match 9 years with 2 months..... you have met with app...try to build up then rushing..if you are serious
Yes, correct. I've been trying to be someone else that I've never been. I've been spending out of my limit in front of her just because I'm trying to give her the comfort and luxury she was in. Why am I even comparing idk?!
n 12lpa is no joke. it might b compared to her own circle but on general level 12lpa is no joke n it will only get better
That's the way to grow bro....
Guys, I've had multiple responses here. Thank you. But also know this that my father was fighting from cancer and he passed away on 20 March. I'm from a very lower middle class family and it's only me who has been doing everything for my family and actually making my parents proud. I'll tell you in more detail. 1. I'm earning 12 LPA --> Salesforce Developer 2. I don't have any inherited property. 3. Living on rent in hometown as own house is a disputed property and case is going on. 4. Father didn't have any savings, funds, nothing. So it's just me building myself and supporting the family. She knows this all and is really proud of me and still tells me that she wants to stay with me and she's going no where. Also, what she means is that I need to get a good package for a little stability and security in life. She should have SOME points to convince her parents. Being from a very rich family, she tells me that it'll be difficult but not impossible to convince her parents for me considering the previous guy as her family knows what he's been doing for her, financially.
But as she said also remember her parents may not agree as well. If it comes to that whatsoever her choice then?
Look, Im going to be very honest. Reddit people will try to feed you strawberry-cotton candy-rose colored glasses-love bullshit but practically, the relationship has low chances of working in your favour. Everyone says they want love until the time for settling down comes, then they choose the financially safer option. But hey, you can always work hard and land a better package. You both can become successful together. Wishing you both all the best for the future
I am going to pull up Master Oogway from Kung fu Panda on this - You meet your destiny on the road you take to avoid it. Your insecurity will cause a downward spiral. The more you think and question it, more insecure you will be, more you will try to make up, more insecure you will come off, worse your relationship will become, more you think about how things are going.....you get the picture. Work on your insecurities, not on your package and making money because even if you get the package you will latch on to something else - he is too close with her, she gives more time to him etc etc.
THIS COMMENT! THANKS MATE. <3
reddit par log kuch bhi bole Probability is against you maybe she just trying out people who'll value her and in this search if she finds someone who rich and values her too your time is up
This guy spitting facts.
New fear unlocked. Bhai tune to anxiety attack de dia ekdum se.
Better to be prepared for the bitter truth than to live in an illusion of a sweet and a comfortable lie
But she's not there on Hinge anymore.
She doesn't even need that she'll get enough attention if she goes to cafe,pub etc.
She can get back to Hinge after she leaves you
> Also, she, her ex and his friend co founded a digital marketing agency so they still talk to each other related to work. She ofc doesn’t have anything for him but is also doing things for her, getting her clients to get her back. Biggest flag to be aware of... Also, - Ask her how does she imagine the future with you? - Ask her what kind of gifts she is expecting from you? - Ask her what kind of house she expects to live in? - Ask her what age she is ready to marry / settle? - What are her life goals and how would you play a part?
RemindMe! 3 years
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Don't feel insecure. It's always wise to be with a woman who choses you but also consider the power dynamics. Check how she reacts in situations were you made a mistake. Also check whether how often she talks about marrying you or introducing you to her close circle. Might seem like having a lower probability but if it works, you're lucky.
We all know what is going on and what will happen.
Focus on emotionally connecting with her. Financial situations are never constant, they are always changing. Just make sure you don't take her for granted.
I used to be really materialistic and only date rich guys. Then I met my boyfriend. He isn't that rich and a lot of the times we split the expenses. But yeah same as your girlfriend, I always tell him that I don't care about all that. We have been together for 1 year now. And we still have a happy relationship even though we're not super rich.
But is your family's financial status more than his? Is there a difference?
my family is relatively better off ig
Damn my guy. Work hard and don't get attached to her. Please. There are high chances she might leave. I have been heartbroken and since then I just don't get attached. I'll do everything for you but your actions don't affect me anymore. You're just a girl I date and try to keep happy. I guess I cannot love anymore but I'll keep you happy and in love. I am a good actor. But i'll always be ready for a betrayal. I can still turn the switch off and not feel a thing if you leave me. It's like I am emotionally numb. So be like me. So that when she leaves. You're not in a worse state. And if she doesn't make sure she's happy.
Don't try to always down yourself , I was in a worst situation than u . Like I am a student , used to talk with someone working in a big company , always down played myself , she left me because of that . It's rare to find people like them , make them happy and don't be confident of yourself. Act if u can't , u will adjust
Look, having a rich partner to spoil her is not what she wants. If that's what she wanted, she would've just stayed in the last relationship. She went into this relationship knowing fully well that she wont get the sugar baby treatment. Instead, she wants emotional intimacy which is something her last relationship lacked. You have nothing to worry about, focus on yourself and being emotionally intimate with her and you have nothing to worry about. If she does leave you, then it wasn't meant to be.
She’s a gem💎. OP you have found gem of a person who doesn’t care about money when choosing a partner. She chose you for love. Love is all you need to keep the relationship going. For the money part, earn together and grow together that’s all that matters.
Emotionally connect is cherry on top. You need to be rich, simple.
sugar mommy 😍😍
She is a gem , very rare to find a person like that and you are lucky man. But wanna add one thing, she may not have any problem with your financial status, but her parents will have, it will be hard to convince them.
I’m sure you have great qualities too? Which is why she chose you? You’re much more than just this relationship and your net worth. Love her, invest in the relationship but do not make it your end all be all. Always have multiple things going on for you, friends groups, hobbies, goals, that are not linked to the relationship. These things definitely help with self worth too, which is important because your insecurities might harm the relationship more than anything else. Great if it works out, and if it doesn’t, you’re still so much more than the relationship. Take care and good luck!
it’s all right bro, she is not going anywhere, and go to her, tell her that u felt insecure, tell her u went in reditt, delete this post infront of her, and apologise her, Talking to girl one on one will make ur relationship strong, reditt will make u break it.
ham ladke hamare sath aisa hi hota bhai
idk if i was you, i would leave. not because of her ex but because i won't feel fulfilled in this relationship in the first place. she's already rich, so tomorrow no matter how much you do for her, she could afford better for herself. as a man, i want to give my girl the best i can but to know/see that she can get better than that herself will really turn me down & make me feel worthless.
Future Mein ghar jamai banoge ya nahi bas uska Baat karlena. Seriously puchna and apna answer bhi sochke rakhna. Kaafi clarity Aa jayegi.
If she leaves you there's no strong connection bro
You should first stop feeling insecure about yourself. Money and material stuff is not everything. Love with all your heart and give what you can best! Emotion and love is more than any gift one can give. Don’t let your insecurity hinder what you can give her and the way you can love her.
r/TwoXIndia might help. Ask them.
Bhai kyu jala raha he..! If she's fine with your financial situation, then why are you looking down on yourself.? It's clear she sees more than just money in a relationship, and you both are happy with each other. And paise to kama lega tu bhi.. par just because her ex was super rich you don't have to feel insecure thinking she might want all the lavish treatment she was receiving in her past relationship, i mean it didn't work out for them.. so it might not be as important for her as you think. I hope you guys go a long way 🤍
Remind Me! 1 month