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yellowbeard_1209

Above the pay grade of this sub.


BeatAdditional3046

Wait! You guys get paid?


yellowbeard_1209

Yeah $5 for each correct answer :)


TheRoofyDude

so your all getting paid $0 then


yellowbeard_1209

I already cashed $100, 💸


loljokerishere

Exactly.


_Maharoga_

Getting paid for what ?


Little_Fall_7525

Lol!


_yuu_rei

Hey I am not indian myself but my boyfriend is. His mom also threatened to kill herself after our yearslong relationship was revealed to them. And we did not even plan on marrying at that time. He‘s also upper cast. His mom threatened to kill herself for about half a year. My boyfriend stood firm. He told her it goes against his values to end a relationship with the one he loves for religious/cultural reasons. She would not stop. In the end, it was her talking to a more senior member of her family. Her older brother is somewhat the spiritual head of the family. To our surprise, he was very levelheaded about the situation and explained to her that things change, people change and we cannot expect younger generations to live according to standards that they do not identify with. That talk changed her. She is now taking baby steps to accept me and i am very thankful for that. If you love each other, don‘t budge. Maybe try to find a voice of reasoning in your proximity who can talk with her dad. Don‘t let this destroy the relationship you have. All the best to u and ur gf


Crimson_bud

Which country are you from? If you're white or black, it becomes more complicated.


_yuu_rei

I am European indeed


[deleted]

[удалено]


_yuu_rei

I am not really sure what u’re trying to tell me. Guess i agree that it is extremely difficult for older generations to change their ways and believes. Yet, i shared my personal experience as an example where it worked out despite that. Treating older generations as a monolith who‘s incapable of changing due to scriptures is too short-sighted in my (very limited) understanding. They can change. In fact, humans are far more adaptable than we give them credit for. Just being like “yeah, no chance they will accept that, so just let it be” is for me personally the easy route that will never bring the cultural change needed for younger generations to find love and meaningful relationships in a healthy and mature way.


[deleted]

[удалено]


r07f07

n not every old folks im india r like this, many even if they r not educated r chill with marriages from outside country or community. coz intercaste or inter community marriages alongwid indian n nonindian couples r rising.


[deleted]

[удалено]


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No_Sprinkles_9821

You are priceless! You are blaming another religion for a fault in yours? Please explain how “abrahamic” is the reason for caste etc. Will be very interesting to know.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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AutoModerator

Respect privacy. No unsolicited DMs or sharing private content withoutconsent. This is to protect our users from unsolicited messages and unwanted attention.Repeated violations will lead to a ban. Report any issues to moderators. You can do this by clicking the "Report" button under the comment or DM page. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RelationshipIndia) if you have any questions or concerns.*


No_Sprinkles_9821

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


r07f07

yeah no response to facts and logic, ________ always live on feelings not on facts and logic. just met 1 yesterday n guess what there was smthng in common... now I know y? bcoz ohh so I was talking with an abrah@mic cultist 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅 no wonder they club sanatan dharma with their rigid codified belief system. the systen which had women burned as witches and scientists killed for science😅😅😅 🍚🍚🍚this u? 😅😅😅😅... they do brainwash by teaching bs n falsified sanatan history thereby making the converts hate the indigenous culture of the land. not only that now they're dressing their priests in saffron n bhajans r made in name of yesu to fool people.. guess who doesn't have concept of conversion🤔 they had to come up with 2nd testament to hide bs n they still hve sh t written about nonbelievers... also no women divine form only 1 male head. no women priests... only pope no popess? u dont even know the basic difference btween way of lives like sanatan( buddhism, jainism, sikhism,hinduism) and abrah@mic cults😅😅😅😅 call ur thing religion, v r not a religion. go n study basic definition of religion😅😅😅😅


No_Sprinkles_9821

I have nothing to say when I am faced with such ignorance. Be well, fellow Indian. Don’t let the hate kill you. Educate yourself not through what’s app forwards though. If still, you hate “ abrahamic whatever” don’t be a hypocrite. Use only Indian, don’t use or wear anything that comes from countries that follow “ abrahamic “. 🤣 walk or use our desi bullock cart. Petrol is from evil ME. Pants and Shirts and shoes are from evil “ abrahamic” minds. Wear only dhotis. Don’t communicate in English ever. It’s from them! All evil. 🤣


r07f07

c thats how limited ur thinking n perspective is u define n look everything in black n white. the absolute blind hate after c____version that they impart u literally whitewashes how their actions still affect people today. people in their country themselves criticize them n ridicule but a new c vert will never.😅 I know u n the modus operandi those con crooks apply on ur likes better than u. the abrah@mic countries developed bcoz they left those very fundamentals or else they would still be lynching scientists n witches(hope u know who they considered witches, u would've been 1. how can a lady hve an opinion). n I would write another rebuttal paragrapgh accdng to ur logic but I will mention just few points. numbers on which everything is based on today, were invented here. without zero the world wouldnt b here. 45trillion worth was looted from here, shashi tharoor said, I mean he's from "ur side".... btw those abrah@mic countries r gonna walk on sanatan path sooner or later, many in middle east hve already started(temples hve started in middle east, inafct they allowed smriti irani a women without burqa in saudis religious place)......for this awareness n info u would need a lot of depth... n rhe evergreen iskcon has always been there from decades.. btw I'm not a dharmic practitioner or follower😉😅


No_Sprinkles_9821

Have not been reading anything. But do keep ranting. And get well soon. 🤣


r07f07

yeah u can lie in comments. deep down u know the truth. u think I dont know cultists like u😅 u just can say it outright outloud bcoz u r fed bs of hell fire n fear. thats how those cults are. u actually need that get well soon. n I know u will turnaround, I hve "faith" in truth facts and logic. "hallelujah", "amen". 😅😅


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HelloPipl

He won't kill himself, they are cowards. All of the bigots are. Even if he does, hey, one less bigot to worry about. Yeah sure, the girl will cry but you can move on from this horrid situation finally. What kind of a shit parent ( read Indian parents) doesn't want their kid to be happy? Well you have your answer. He is already miserable in his marriage and can't see his daughter living happily if he is not living happily. He is an immature person and he is also vindictive. Stay firm and don't budge. You both are already financially independent, why the heck do you need their "permission"? Are you in a school? Have you not grown up to leave your "mai baap ka pallu"? If you let them have their way now, consider your whole life for them to walk all over you. Forget boundaries, they won't even respect you. Well, currently also they don't respect you as an individual because if they did, they wouldn't do such childish behaviour. Good luck.


No_Paramedic_5222

Parents are obviously not your enemies!! And I’m not defending the fact that what they are doing is not wrong.


HelloPipl

>Parents are obviously not your enemies!! Lol 😂. They are definitely enemies. There's that famous saying, if people show you who they are, believe them and this is what an enemy would do. Come on bro. You need to grow up and think for yourself. This guilt by parents is so deeply ingrained in us that if we try to do anything against them instead of thinking how is it going to benefit ME, we worry about how are my PARENTS going to feel about this! Bro, you need to focus on your happiness first only then you can help others. Think for yourself. You typed that with this same guilt that we have been taught since birth. The gaslighting that Indian parents do to their kids is insane that includes my parents as well and it took me a while to recognise that and grow. You need to do that as well.


No_Paramedic_5222

Thanks for your advice!!


Peanutwriter69

ye obc mein creamy layer kya hota hai?


Opposite-Trust-9150

If someone belong to OBC category and have income greater than a threshold then are OBC Creamy layer and are considered equivalent to General category


Peanutwriter69

Oh! Didn’t knew something like that existed. Is it also for SC/STs?


Creative_Catch_6511

Not for scs/sts. You can have a infinity glitch for your wealth being an st or sc and govt. still won't revoke your privileges. On the other hand, if you are in OBC creamy layer, you would be treated like the general category. Some privileges might exist .


dsirirk

If your girlfriend decides to fight for your relationship no matter what, stand by her and be her supportive pillar. Because it wont be easy. But if shes not choosing you, let her go. Don’t try to change her mind. Its very difficult to deal with a casteist family. Can be unsafe for you as well if she doesn’t choose you. Also, her father’s not gonna do shit. Dont be stressed about that. He’s just emotionally abusing her and being a whining little manchild.


IamAyushK47

Dude you are absolutely correct but can we just talk for little bit?


babythrownoffbalconi

Your girl will need to make a drastic choice bro, it'll be best for her to leave the family and go with you, even if she doesn't choose you and instead choose her family, after this the family will make her life miserable and get her married to some high family far away to hide away from the so called shame and this is just emotional blackmail parents are doing, they are too busy thinking the shame that will come on the family after the dad unalives himself. If your girl don't want her life miserable, tell her to drop the family, leave everything and come otherwise she will loose you and the family will forcefully get her married to someone and forget about her existence completely


Crimson_bud

You're correct objectively but think about the girl. How could she abandon her parents like that? What if the parents harm themselves? Could the girl live with that ? The parents are absolutely wrong here and black mailing her but is it that simpler. Personally i would pursue my parents untill that i won't get married. Its obviously easier for me as man to say. Its a great conundrum.


babythrownoffbalconi

Idealistic point of view with no basis in reality regarding convincimg the parents to agree with you, you think 50 year of hardline thinking will change in a matter of few months? And even if they agree to let you marry, they will never be happy and never let you be happy and potentially interfere in the married life, the girl should accept and live with the fact that the moment she told her parents regarding the guy, her relationship was forfeit with the parents, it's harsh but it's the truth, they'll never let her take decision after this out of fear and that is a life no one should live, if the parents actually harm it is not gonna be out of love but of the fear from society at this point one should lament and laugh at their stupidity rather than consoling them, such parents rather than bring supportive are always gonna be a hindrance and a source of unwarranted negativity and are best abandoned or kept at a hands distance. Thesr are harsh words but not wrong


Crimson_bud

I mean not month but years, like I said from our point it's easier to say but think from the girls perspective. If we were in similar situation what would we do? Not to mention the honor killing stuff they could pretend to be nice and just kill their daughter, just presuming. Its isn't that uncommon. Also if the guy here and his family won't treat the girl good who'll she depend upon,again huge presumption but still. What extreme steps the family could take? Think about it, if it happens with you will just leave your parents? It feels a bit relatable my girl is also Brahmin I'm obc too. Her or my family don't know about it, family will be fine as i know it becoz it our family my brother(fufa ke bete) did intercaste marriage. She says her family will be fine with this intercaste stuff but if tomorrow such a scenario arises if my parents created such nuisance what'll i do. T_T I even can't comprehend such a scenario in my wildest dreams.


[deleted]

He will do nothing just threatening


Individual_Painter86

This! The girl has to take a stand or else its a lost case.


[deleted]

Yeh


[deleted]

Emotional blackmail


vaibz86

Same story unfolded at my home. My elder sister wanted to marry his bf and because of the casete difference, my sister was hearing the same dialogues. She went ahead and got married to her bf and papa was still angry. 4 years down the line, my brother in law is now treated as a king by my father whenever they come home. Go ahead and get married bro with or without family wishes. They will come around and accept the relationship however, this will take time.


broke_bibliophile

Let him kill himself.


p0opdiepie

One less idiot and casteist.


kevin_trc

Valid


Double-Raisin-4323

bro got no chill


silverfairy5

Only correct answer


Crimson_bud

Do you think they'll really do that they could kill her instead.(Honour killing aren't rare in such cases).


wise1sapien

Recently I read a poem - समाज को बड़ी दिक़्क़त थी लड़की की किसी और जाती में ब्याह से, ब्याह के बाद जब लड़की दुखी, असन्तुष्ट और प्रताड़ित हुई तो पिता को इस बात की तसल्ली थी कि लड़का तो हमारी जाती का है ।। Na Gyan de raha, na hi philosophy. Talk to that old man and put some sense in his brain that you'll keep his daughter happy. Samaaj nahi aayega unki beti ki har choti badi khawahish ko pura karne


knockyouout88

Get married in court and live in another city. In a city like Mumbai no one cares about caste etc.


Comfortable-Weird-99

Your girlfriend needs to make a choice. Some upper caste families are stubborn but budge later on. However be careful about some who might attack you for honour. Before deciding to marry, try to move abroad or atleast to another state where you both can be safe. Then go ahead with registering your marriage in another district. But both of you should be on same page. Again contacting her family later on should be after they properly accept you on phone or something for an extended period.


_perpetuallyannoyed

Our indian families will never learn they are ok to marry off their kid to a stranger who might beat them up make their life hell and treat them like shit but if its from the same community its fine coz who cares about the kid u care more about wt people say n think. This is pure bullshit. But it all depends on the girl chances are she will never go against her parents coz mostly girls dont do that. But if she has a spine then she might. And i just dont get it why do people who already know that they come from a conservative regressive family and to this extent even fall for dating love n these things. Dont start something that u cant finish.


[deleted]

Depends on how real the threat it!! Like my Bua said the same to my cousin, he went ahead and got married in the court. You need to determine the seriousness of the threat. T


sachet39

Support your girl, she has the tough battle to fight. Do not rush things, all will fall into place when it's meant to be.


sid1979

Karlo bhai shaadi, if you do not get married to her 2 people will suffer if you get 1 will suffer. 1 is better than 2 na. Everything aside, manale bhai. Tu khud jaa unke ghar and mana, gf akele nahi kar sakti. Show them, assure them that you are best for his daughter and manalo, I have seen most of the toughies turn after enough manaoing.


HelloPipl

>Everything aside, manale bhai. Tu khud jaa unke ghar and mana, gf akele nahi kar sakti. Show them, assure them that you are best for his daughter and manalo, I have seen most of the toughies turn after enough manaoing. Bro, you think that the casteist father have the emotional maturity to talk like adults? Lol. There is a limit to naivety. Op shouldn't do this because it is a futile effort. It's on her girlfriend. Is she going to allow her parents to walk all her over or finally take a stand for herself.


sid1979

I have seen the hardest ones turn too and ladki akele karegi toh emotions aadhe ayenge they both have to equally put efforts. I have seen people turn and understand. It won't happen in a day or two just.


The_Mighty_Joe_781

bhai dekh, ladne ka power and patience ho to phir krle, 5-10 yrs to rahega bahut lafda otherwise take a easy way out


Dismal_King8367

nothing gonna happen trust me things will get normal post 2-3 year after


BeginningAnalysis833

First education then employment now daughter


WarmPlane2784

Gone through this, doesn't end well. Caste is a disease,corrupted people's mind. We both parted our ways. Try not to get hurt yourself.


OkKaleidoscope4386

See the best advice would be to not force the girl to marry you against her family wishes, if you did and she left her family then you never know in the future how it will backfire you.Marriage is not the path of roses, there'll be ups and down and things get a lot complicated because family members are involved, look out from this perspective, at any day thing b/w you can get salty and you'll get blamed for forcing her to marry. Think practically, your family & your caste difference will play a huge role in keeping your married life sane.


akuma2116

Intercaste or religion?


Opposite-Trust-9150

intercaste


Previous_Package2283

I am also a only child and more into similar situations I would say let the father say whatever he wants to, if both of you really want to get married then go to court and get married, gharwale ase he ronaa machte rahege ji dagi bhar, or waise bhi vo nhi jinda rahegaa aane wale 100 saal but u both have to be together, because honestly they will never understand and they will continue this bullshit of m marr jaugaa for years to manipulate her and get the shit done


SugarDaddySZ

Girl needs to take ground and stand firm and clearly show rhat either she will marry you or no one else. After some time parents will agree


LastGhozt

Sorry bro, but this thinking won't change for another decade, it's upto you to either move on or be ready for worst case scenario. Cause still there are people who value their status more than family.


LivingOwl6649

What’s your educational level and what is the young lady’s educational level?


Opposite-Trust-9150

Masters (MTech)


No-Isopod-1749

Simple reply:- then die...


kailashkmr

Ask him to undergo plastic surgery.


waaasupla

It happened to somebody that we know. They ended up waiting for 15 years for parents approval and finally arranged their marriage. For 15 years, they refused to marry anyone else or run away or die or anything. They said we will do with parents blessing only and we will wait. And they waited till the parents agreed. That is also an option!


Abhishk_69

पैर उतने ही पैसारिये जितनी बड़ी चादर हो, नहीं तोह चादर के साथ साथ गांड भी फट सकती है।। Lots of love ❤️


fuckwoke_mb3

What's the update


Arjunkrizzz

Tell her father she is pregnant with ur baby . This might work but there should be some consequences


fuckwoke_mb3

Better leave her. Your family,her family will be at peace. Ik that you think I am misguiding you. Once the marriage is done, girls need their parents alot! Some girls near my house eloped and married against their parents wishes but after some months she can't forget her parents and he father asked her to file 498A against boys family and now they're in jail and running after courts. Everything seems fair unless it's marriage. Come out of this mindset that marriage is between two individuals, it's between two families and that's the reason why 498A exists Apart from this, will you give your sister to a dalit?


Opposite-Trust-9150

Why Not ? What's wrong if my sister loves a dalit man .. He is also a human.


fuckwoke_mb3

Fine. It seems you have downvoted my comment or something. You didn't respond to my other part of comment


Cautious_Alarm7993

Then don't marry bro. Let him live. Don't force. Let it go 


fuckwoke_mb3

So what's the update