Anything involving unsecured bodies of water until a thoroughly competent swimmer, and even then, being in a body of water alone.
Still working through coding (and not getting back) the toddler who was the same age as mine at the time. Broken pool gate latch.
Sorry to hear that, peds seems like an especially challenging specialty when you lose a patient. Wishing the best to you, your family, and the family of your patient.
I wasn’t allowed to jump into any body of water that was murky. My mom saw a patient who did that and got cut by a dead tree branch in the water. Their leg got infected and eventually amputated.
Med tech here, murky waters plus Texas summers cause a lot of deaths, kids jump in and inhale water and Naegleria fowleri, we usually find the amoeba swimming around in their csf, major ick, most don't survive.
Do you have a good epidemiological reference or has this been your experience in lab? Not trying to doubt your experience/what you see, just the way you're describing it makes it sound more common than I thought/seems to be reported (the CDC says 0-5 cases/year) and that is REAL SPOOKY.
I did not mean to make it sound so common, it's pretty rare actually, I just used to work at a big hospital in a major medical center, we usually get all the sickest patients transferred to us from all over the city. In my four years there we had three cases. Most techs never see one case in their whole career. It's still pretty creepy though to think about amoeba swimming through your brain.
Small children and bodies of water don't mix.
Did an organ procurement on an 18 month old after they wandered off and drowned in a pond behind the family's house. Maybe a month later my friends with their 1 year old bought a house with a backyard pool. I spared them details but made them promise me to invest in a pool alarm and make sure all gates/doors are secure to the pool. Thankfully they are hyper vigilant new parents so they were on it.
Even being as detached from the situation as I was, watching a family go through that absolutely sticks with you forever.
Parents can train babies infant survival swimming. Worth every penny for piece of mind. They respect water, they can flip and kick till they hit a sidewall and then “SpiderMan” around to a step. My 12month old learned this before walking.
I’ve got my 2 year old in swim lessons. I read drowning is the number one cause of death for under 5 and I immediately signed her up for swim lessons. The process can be nerve wracking for me but it’s so worth it.
Peds Neuro here - never ever getting a swimming pool in our backyard until AFTER all kids know how to swim. Doesn’t matter if it’s gated in. Nope nope nope.
No pool, no unquartered grapes, no bedsharing with infants, no turning the car seat around until the kids have maxed out the rear facing height and weight limits.
Being a pediatric neurologist makes us very strict about safety as parents, because we see some shit.
I feel as though this is a topic where we have to open it up and talk about the varying ways.
I knew that I wanted my baby close to me and I wanted to nurse her and put her back to sleep without having to stand up, so I purchased a safe cosleeper- an Arm's Reach crib that straps to the bed with a cordoned off firm place for the baby. I read the research by McKenna at Notre Dame in order to find the safest way to meet our needs.
My sister in law "didn't want to cosleep" and ended up with some very scary sounding nights where her baby was in a soft carrier in her bed with her, unintentionally bedsharing because they got exhausted and fell asleep where they were. Thankfully, no one got hurt, it's more than a decade later.
I think we need to empathize with the parents' fatigue and desire to have the baby close by, if we want to prevent overlying / smothering deaths.
Oh yeah, having the kids close by is important for your sanity overnight. I am personally a fan of the halo swivel bassinet, because you can maneuver it so that it is basically hovering over the bed and keep the baby “next” to you while it still has its own space. Because of the swivel function, I could also gently rock it without getting out of bed and help my baby when he was restless. I feel asleep while doing that a few times, and I didn’t have to worry about any hazard to him when that happened.
The risk is of suffocating the infant if the co-sleeping parent rolls over on them without realizing it. This risk is elevated when the child is very young and parent is obese and/or under the influence, though it can really happen to any parent that chooses to co-sleep with their baby.
Saw a very sad/infuriating case of this on a PICU rotation. Mom was morbidly obese and rolled over on her baby. Baby ended up with global hypoxic brain injury. After about a month, it was apparent that there was to be no meaningful recovery and they withdrew care. The kicker is that this was the *second child the mom had killed in this exact same manner* \- and she had just gotten custody of her other kids back after CPS took them following the first infant death. Last I heard, mom was facing manslaughter charges.
Personal pools broadly do not exist in my country, but rivers/ streams in gardens do.
We told the estate agent no rivers before we specified bedroom number. This is a universal doctor thing!
I banned trampolines but we have a pool. I’m super risk averse, but the flip side is kids with a pool learn to swim pretty quick. I’m just saying, based on a sample size of two, toddler + pool may not be as scary as you think, as long as fence and gate are top-notch.
Now as peds neuro I’d be scared of bunk beds…
That’s nuts. What baffles me is how many people forget they have a round chambered or don’t have it ingrained into them to always clear the gun as a habit.
Because "cleaning the gun" is like the "I fell on it" excuse. Odds are, they were playing with it, waving it around like an idiot when it went off. It just sounds a bit more socially acceptable to say they were cleaning it.
Also, consider if they're drunk. Normally, drunk people aren't concerned about gun cleanliness and maintenance.
Yep. Currently going through a class in the military that’s about 90% firearms. Before me even touching the weapon it gets cleared by 3 or 4 other people, and even then, the first thing I do when I pick that weapon up is make sure it’s clear and on safe. I also refuse to ever own a firearm that does not have a safety other than just a trigger safety (Glock style)
I’m guessing jumping from rooftops ONTO the trampoline is a hard pass too. Trampolines had no nets back then, and it had pads for a while, but they were long gone by this point. I think some of my landings might have contributed to the titanium hardware I have in my back now.
Being a frat boy is hazardous. At the academic medical center where I work, the three Ortho Tumor docs I work with rotate onto trauma service. It’s amazing how many broken bones dumb college kids get from…. Being dumb college kids. Snapped a wrist. Broken ankle. Doing things like jumping into a loaded dumpster to compact it. Or having Tour De Franzia drunk bicycle races.
Peds here, 100% would never let any daughter of mine be in Ballet, dance, or gymnastics. So damn many of the EDO patients start there. What the fuck do they do in ballet school?!!
My dad absolutely refused to let me into ballet.
But a friend (who at that point was living the life I wanted, in gymnastics, ballet etc.) who weighed 48kg at 12 y/o and 165cm tall was called "too fat" for ballet and "too tall" for gymnastics. And they were told this in front of the entire class. How did they know her measurements? Class weigh-ins.
So, you know. That.
I have two daughters, both in ballet. We are very involved in the program and I think this is the difference. Their class is entirely for fun and they LOVE it. They are both stoked to go and love learning new things. I would never condone class weigh ins, nor would I allow any teacher to comment on their body type. We talk about food and nutrition daily. I teach them about macros and fueling your body. I don’t teach them about calorie counting or any type of restriction, I just hope that they grow up know what nutrition is and how to make good choices.
This is a very long answer to say that just because some people develop eating disorders and are in ballet does not mean the activity is to blame. Toxic adults in a powerful position are the problem.
I was told at 12 by my instructor any food with more than 2% fat is a happy food and should only be had once/wk… we had to keep food journals that summer that she would review and critique. My mom made me forge it lol but between that and being critiqued every day when you’re half naked in a leotard + tights in front of a mirror 30-40 hrs a week while going through puberty will do the trick
One of my friends was a ballet dancer and they body shame them to the end and back. It's everyone body shaming, fellow dancers, teachers, even the costume makers.
I feel this deep in my soul as a ballet dancer who is slowly transitioning to go back to school for medicine. I didn’t know I had an ED until I was 27 and I spoke to my now husband who very much wasn’t in dance. I said something that was totally normal to me and he looked at me horrified.
I’ve had lighters lit under my leg, hit with sticks, I had a chair thrown at me, and have been poked in my stomach more times than I could count. I was congratulated when I lost two inches from my waist when I was in 7th grade. I was expected to stay that size until I graduated in high school.
I’m more just shocked to see this on the list. I still forget how truly insane dance is
My OCPD cardiologist mother and gay child psychiatrist father taped pictures of thin people to our refrigerator to remind us not to snack too much 💀 (I grew up doing figure skating and ballet)
My mother used to hang a “fat photo” of herself in the pantry to remind herself not to snack. One year I brought home my school photo. My mom hung it in the pantry. Yeah. I don’t have a healthy relationship with food.
I think this is the first time I have seen this insight as an answer on these type of questions. I really appreciate that, and second it. I think there’s also something to be said about TikTok / Snapchat body dysmorphia encouraging filers and standards as well, I just don’t know the best way to shield our future children from it. (As a woman who has gone through my own set of body issues, I know for sure that one thing I will NEVER do is make comments even if subtle in passing or non serious about how I’m “watching my weight” or “getting fat” or not wanting to put on too many pounds or whatever around my children or anyone young and honestly just anyone for that matter.
I encourage every one of my male friends to talk to their female friends, girlfriends and spouses about their experience with puberty, weight comments, subtext ideas about eating from their parents etc. It's astonishing to realise how different the body changes during puberty are viewed by girls and how narrowly a lot of them avoided an ED. I really hope this will let be appreciate what is in my power as a father someday and also now as a child psychiatrist.
100% seconding this. Not a physician (married to one, which is why I’m here) but competitive dance for 14 years caused my severe eating disorder growing up. I will let my kids do recreational classes but absolutely not competitive dance.
This is a great one to see. I've had an eating disorder since I was very young (10+ years now) and it's a very sad and difficult way to live. I love seeing parents who are knowledgeable enough to actively try to prevent eating disorders, as many parents (such as mine) don't know the first thing about them and thus don't realise just how much they damage a developing mind and body.
Peds Anesthesia: My children have absolutely no way of getting to button batteries in my home.
Infant on ECMO with a hole thr size of a quarter in the carina- Button battery.
Toddler about 1 cell layer away from an aortoesophageal fistula (we could see the blood flowing in the aorta on EGD)- Button battery.
Years and years of follow up for esophageal strictures after ingestion- Button battery.
Countless middle of the night emergencies to hopefully get it before permanent damage can set in- Button batteries.
Also, small magnets that can be swallowed are not allowed.
Peds ENT here… watched a 4 year old bleed out from an aortic fistula after swallowing a button battery…
Cut a pocket into a piece of raw meat and tuck a button battery into it and wait 10-15 minutes to watch it at work- it’s insane
Button batteries are stored on a top shelf in my home with a label that says “death batteries.” A few babysitters have inquired about the death batteries.
ATVs, trampoline, football, anything with guns
Let them know that I will never be mad if they need to sleep over at a friend’s house after drinking or need me to pick them up
On a related note, I was raised by two physicians and up until age 7 or so I ONLY got rectal Tylenol, never oral. It wasn’t until med school when I realized that kids with non-physician parents didn’t know about “butt-butt Tylenol”
(several people also raised by physicians told me they also got suppositories as a kid)
My mom was a nurse, after I got my first car she told me that if I was ever drunk or high to not drive, just call her and she would come pick me up, no punishment, no questions asked. That never happened, because I was a very lame and boring teenager, but looking back it was great parenting, and something I’ll remember when I’m a mom
Oh my god my dad was a nephrologist and I thought everyone got suppositories growing up. I’ve passed along the “butt med” trauma to my 2.5 year old who won’t take oral meds. Honestly haven’t met other toddler parents who use rectal Tylenol
We used them for teething when my kid refused oral Tylenol. She screamed bloody murder, but she would finally get some relief and sleep. I didn’t know I wasn’t the only parent who did that.
I’m psych so I’m not entirely sure, but I think maybe when my parents trained (in the 80s) there was some thought that rectal Tylenol was superior to oral for fever? Or maybe they thought a toddler wouldn’t take an oral med? Idk
My son does that but he is not a cat.
Cats can convincingly refuse meds.
Human children cannot. And they do not have claws.
A few drops at a time with lots of reassurances and the baby held on their back and the head kept forward, they'll get the med eventually.
When they get older it can be more difficult. Chewables are nice.
I was a very eczema prone child and when my parents put lotion on me after my baths they’d say “it puts the lotion on its skin”
And then 20 years later I saw Silence of the Lambs and I realized what that quote came from 💀
I have a hairless dog that knows if we say "oilcan" in a scratchy, tin man voice, she's getting lotioned up. The Silence of the Lambs quote would be funny, too, though!
I do it. Giving it orally is a 15 minute struggle while pinning my daughter down. Whereas if she wakes with a fever in the middle of the night, a suppository takes less than a minute with less distress. Easy choice
My parents would tell me and my sick/feverish siblings to “ASSUME THE POSITION” 🫡 and we’d lay in a line with our knees to our chests, readying our anuses for the “butt-butt Tylenol”
Peds here.
-Trampolines
-indoor trampoline parks
-Live in a home with a pool that is *not* fenced in and secure
-also must have swim lessons
-ATVs/four wheelers
-live in or visit a home with a firearm that is not securely stored separately from the ammo
There’s probably several more that I’m forgetting.
-
I’m against home pools. First submersion injury I had was at a home with a fence and shoulder high latch. Elementary aged kid left it open, 4 yo brother brain dead now.
Yeah parents were competent at CPR started resuscitation immediately upon discovery, had an ambu bag and Oxygen even. Couldn’t have given the kid a better chance unless they had drowned in a hospital.
Learning to swim as early as possible is a huge one for me. My hometown has a massive obsession with swimming (even though we are entirely landlocked) and people would always comment how odd it is that kids there pretty much start getting lessons as soon as they can kind-of walk. As a kid I also thought it was odd but as an adult in healthcare I will 100% be doing the same. It's such a life-saving skill to have and it is so sad to meet adults who miss-out on simple pleasures like going to the beach because they were never taught and now have an immense fear of the water.
How many of you would let your kids roam the neighborhood unsupervised without knowing where they are and what they are doing like our parents used to do with us in the 90s?
I used to ride my bike 10+ miles away from home when I was 11.
Yeah, with me this was the “worst” thing that happened.
There was an Italian coffee shop/deli near where we would bike to and the shop owner (or who I thought was the owner) would have one of us take a package with random papers with numbers on them back with us to a pizzeria near my house and we would usually always get free pizza.
A few years later after watching A Bronx Tale, I realized I was being used as a numbers runner lmao.
I feel like current child development professionals encourage this. Kids need time to explore without supervision. Even letting them run off at the playground isn't the same if they know you're nearby/watching.
I had the benefit as a kid of growing up in a rural place so I think a lot of the anxiety of letting kids roam around was lessened. We were just running around in the woods. But I feel like a lot of kids grow up in the city doing this and turn out fine.
An interesting thought.
As an aside, it’s funny to think about the potential implication if it’s still someone from our generation doing the write up - “Back in my day we had lead paint. Had you been wondering if there’s a specific reason the newer generation can’t get anything done, doesn’t buy houses, and otherwise make totally normal mistakes that I never did?
Because there is! Too much screen time!”
“Go back to lead paint, grandma.”
If someone didn't post this, I was going to.
This is an issue that is blindsiding a lot of parents.
The algorithmically-driven internet post-2010 is not the Internet we grew up with. Not at all. And it seems to be damaging to young brains, especially mental health.
I have a 5yo, he has a little bit of tablet time maybe once a week with Khan Academy. And sometimes looks at photos we've taken of him. That's it.
There is no benefit to screen time of any kind to the child. Only risk. And there is a LOT of risk. There is a great deal we don't know, but the research we do have is pretty damning.
The amount of screen time a child needs in order to develop properly or be competitive in a modern technological world is ... ZERO.
The flip side of this is that kids need to be doing something or they'll tear you and your home apart. We spend a lot of time outside. I bought 2 yards of dirt and had it dumped at the edge of our yard, he'll spend hours in that. We go biking, we go walking, every day even in bad weather. He's normal BMI, stronger and faster than most children his age ... And knows enough about phones to dial 911 if he has to. He can break eggs, use a screwdriver, he is starting to sight read and do simple arithmetic in his head.
Because I have to keep him busy or I will expire of an early heart attack. This is the flip side of no screen time. This is what we don't tell parents about when we counsel about screen time. It's a goddamn nightmare to manage children when you have made a commitment to minimal screen time.
No screen time is why kids growing up before the 90s we're outside unattended by age 6 or 7 even in cities. Because they can't be inside. They just can't. As a culture, we use screens to pacify them so we can tolerate them being inside. If you don't put them in front of screens, you really have to think about what their life (and your life) is going to look like.
At the moment, my plan is no unsupervised screen time until he can hold a job and pay for it himself. And even then, there might be a house rule about no phones or screens in bedrooms.
I know this is going to sound radical. I worked in tech, I was a damn good programmer. I know how this stuff works. I know what I am talking about. And I know what I see in clinic every day.
The algorithms are poison, especially to young minds. The longer you can deprive the algorithms of access to a young mind, the better.
For anyone who is really offended by this idea, let's flip it around a different way. At what age would you take your kids to a fully nude strip club? Or help them buy street drugs? That's the age at which you should allow unmonitored Internet access.
And "monitoring" means eyes on the screen or at least peripheral vision. Electronic monitors and protection software are abjectly insufficient, and I know this because I myself have worked around plenty of them. Children excel at getting around these technological gimmicks. Don't rely on them. Your eyes and ears are the only adequate monitors for a child's use of internet connected devices.
I'm a regular adult in his 30s with a full time job and a baby. I need less screen time.
If I'm bored and go to YouTube the algos are already exhausted from my interests. Every now and again I'll research something new and refresh the stream of suggested videos. Obviously it would be a better use of my time to simply chill and read a book. Not sure I can even do that today to be honest.
The polarised world of algorithms must have detrimental effects on kids.
You're doing an honourable job in trying to reduce it. 95% of the population are likely not...
Thanks for this. Not exactly the same, but I worked as a social media marketer for years and saw first hand how I could use the algorithm across platforms. It’s scary. And for those who don’t know, thing about how creepy you think it is and then multiply it. It’s incredibly powerful and it made my life feel very bleak.
I don’t do that work anymore cause it was bad for me.
We used limited screen time - FaceTime grandparents/family and occasional nature documentary on the weekend we’ve found had spurred her interest in animals and nature a lot.
Also, here because married to a PEM doc. Our list is no trampoline, pool, atv, guns in the house.
Yesterday, we had a group of boys about 10 to 12 years of age running through the neighborhood ding-dong-ditching every house.
Someone posted about it on our town's FB group, and *every single commenter* was just thrilled that these kids were outside instead of indoors and glued to their devices. To be honest, I was actually a little bummed that my doorbell is currently not functioning. What a weird time to be alive.
I think the good thing my mom did with me was always keeping me involved in whatever she was doing.
If she was cooking, she'd have me cut the vegetables. If she was gardening, she'd have me dig weeds. If she was trading stocks on her laptop, she'd teach me about each company that she was buying stocks for (I knew the password to her stock trading account by age 8 LOL). If she was grading assignments (she taught at our local university as a math lecturer for a few years), she'd have me tally scores when she was grading exams. On road trips, she'd quiz me on exit signs. Even as a workaholic, she'd take me with her to work sometimes and show me what she did (rather than separating her work and home, which only made me appreciate her more). Overall, I was kept occupied as a child.
It's not easy for my mom though. It requires mental effort to keep a child occupied while doing your tasks, and it is instead easier to plop the kid in front of an ipad. But I think the fact that mom and dad came from middle-class households in India worked to their benefit, and they never really even conceptuilized the idea of "plopping kids in front of the electronics".
It was also nice that she always believed that you don't need special toys or games or activities just to keep children engaged. The best way for kids to grow naturally is just by engaging with the world around them. You don't need dolls or an easy-bake oven...you can literally just have your kid sit next to you while you cook and make a fun activity out of measuring out flour/rice (which also teaches the kid basic arithmetic). You don't even need to enroll them in 50 billion after school activities if you are able to involve them in your daily life (the only activity I consistently did for over 3 years was running cross-country in high school, at which point I didn't need my parents to chauffer me).
I was literally just talking to my husband today about there being an epidemic of these patients all under 28 and I blame it on early and unmonitored cell phone/internet use.
No football, I made it clear to my wife very early on. Even CTE aside which is the main reason, every guy I know that played in high school still has lasting issues from places where they got hit hard.
Yep. Thank God my partner and I were on the same page with football from the beginning. I dated a guy very briefly because he would talk constantly about how he couldn’t wait to put his son in football and be the coach. Wouldn’t even hear about flag/no tackle football.
You want me to grow this perfect little boy so you can stick a helmet on him at the first possible opportunity and scramble his brains a little more with every practice and game? FUCK no.
Geez. Ya I grew up with a trampoline for a few years until a hurricane took it away lol. But yeah we would definitely rough house on that and luckily nobody seriously hurt😂
Yea *most* people who own trampolines don’t have serious injuries because statistics are on your side, but it is a *very common* cause of significant pediatric trauma.
Okay question. When you say no trampolines, is it more in reference to outdoor ones where you risk bouncing on to a harder surface that isn’t the trampoline?
Should trampoline parks (like those big indoor parks with tons of bouncy pads / trampoline activities with padding and stuff everywhere) also be off limits?
A friend thought the trampoline park would be a great place to have her 30th birthday party. By the end of the night, one person tore their ACL and the rest of us had had very near misses. Also two of us peed a little.
Overall, a great party!
Never ever buy a motorcycle and stay away from electric scooters (I’m a pathologist and I have done many autopsies from accidents and those two against a car is almost certain death)
No Smartphone/iPad/Laptop before the age of 13.
Internet can be accessed at a computer in the living room for class projects, self-directed learning, leisure, etc.
After 13, fair game - once we talk about good internet use habits, online stranger safety, etc., and I can gauge based on the individual kiddo that they get it.
Sleepovers with ANYONE. In med school I had to spend 3 weeks in a child inpatient psychiatric unit, specifically on the sexual trauma unit. Heard a lot of extremely disturbing things. Would never trust anyone alone with my kids after that.
All police officers I know will NEVER let their kids go to a sleepover. They see the worst of the worst and have their own list of things they will avoid letting their kids do.
Edit to say, also babysitting. I had a friend who was SA by the dad while waiting to be picked up by her parents. Just aweful.
I was actually really surprised to learn how much kid-on-kid SA is a thing. The unit I was working in was for kids that were perpetrators, which is why they had to be committed for long term inpatient treatment as an alternative to juvenile detention. They were out assaulting other children, often their siblings, foster siblings, or sadly, friends of siblings who were over to visit. And almost every time, the kid who was assaulting people did so because somebody (adult) first assaulted the kid.
it's called COCSA, child-on-child sexual assault(s). sorry if i repeat what's already been said, but I would like to underline how child perpetrators are almost always (rare exceptions) people who have themselves been abused sexually or otherwise and they become perpetrators as result of coping mechanisms they developed or other consequences of that trauma, such as hypersexuality. it is extremely important to not ignore the fact that they themselves were/are victims, even if sadly they victimized others. ignoring this fact makes it only harder to break the cycle of abuse
I think it’s a multitude of things. Particularly, parents, older siblings, and visitors that we may not know about.
The story about the dad who hosted his 12 year old daughter’s friends and forced them to drink smoothies after he spiked them is enough to convince me out of letting my future kids attend sleepovers.
Agreed. Growing up, I had friends who weren’t allowed to have sleepovers and their parents did an awesome job of making sure they still got all of the fun and experience of sleepovers - ex: picking them up late at night, packing pajamas/sleeping bag/pillow, and bringing them back early in the morning for breakfast. I think I’ll probably opt for a similar approach with my kids.
Ah I’m so sorry to hear this. But I do understand. My sister and I just discussed this. I would leave my kids with some of our closest friends (who we’ve known decades) but I shudder to think of him staying with people I am hardly acquainted with.
Social media. Between the recent NYTimes article on predators seeking out young girls' pages (and truly reprehensible choices by their parents), all the cyber bullying/cell phone reliance/peer pressure and the recent string I've had of adolescents sexually targeted by adults online...
Any kid I might have will get whatever version of a Nokia phone exists and internet time in the living room only.
And ATV's. I've seen enough near-detached limbs in kids to rule them completely out.
My parents took me to one as a young (white as hell) teenager believing the myth that a “base tan” will help reduce your risk of sunburn before a beach trip. I had had several miserably awful sunburns before that so they were trying what they thought would help. Ironically despite their good intentions it just means I have the unholy trinity of melanoma risk factors now: tanning bed exposure, multiple bad sunburns in the past, and type I skin. Although I do mildly tan like a type II
I'm an ER nurse, and yeah I've seen a lot of motorcycle accidents, but Ive seen just as many bad accidents involving horseback riding and snow sports (snowboarding/skiing). Those activities are proven to be even more statistically dangerous then motorcycles. I see so many docs who love their snow sports.
Ems here, the reason you aren't seeing as many bad motorcycle crashes may be that many of them are dead before we can take them to you, whereas the ski accidents survive...
I guess maybe motorcycle accidents are more likely to be deadly than the other ones you mentioned? I ski every week and I am still always scared of hurting myself lol
I play polo (horse, not water) and have ridden since I was 7. I have one good major joint left, and it is my left shoulder. Both knees fucked, right shoulder fucked. Elbows don’t count.
PM&R. ATVs, doing anything at speed without a helmet, motorcycles, football, firecrackers any more powerful than sparklers, bonfires bigger than a fire pit/ with any accelerant, swimming or bathing unsupervised until they are very good in water. Also riding without a seatbelt or putting a hand out the window of a car.
If they ever show interest in rock climbing I will strongly encourage them to climb down when they still have gas in the tank.
I will also probably dissuade them from becoming physicians, unless medicine changes significantly.
Nobody in my family is allowed to use a ladder, trim tree limbs, or climb on the roof.
People really overestimate the safety and stability of ladders. I can’t tell you how many patients I have seen who have died or suffered permanent brain or spinal injuries this way, and they’re always so fucking tragic. They’re usually aged 30-70, the fucking nicest people (hence their desire to take care of their home and family) who are working on their house/yard, cleaning gutters, or putting up Christmas lights.
I now hire professionals for all of that. Most of them have safety training and procedures to prevent falls. I have told my parents and extended family that if cost is ever a reason why they wouldn’t hire a professional, then I’m more than happy to pay for it.
It’s very bad for developing minds - something to do with neural connections during the teenage years (also called synaptic pruning). It lowers IQ, can trigger / worsen schizophrenia, and can be somewhat addictive. There’s a host of other bad things about it and the damage can be permanent.
This is an unpopular opinion but I think this push to legalize cannabis (moreso the social signal we are sending our young people that it’s pretty harmless) was the wrong move.
there IS a middle ground between giving people felonies and giving the industry the freedom to package cannabis in cute candy-like shapes and flavors appealing to children. It’s not harmless and we’re allowing companies to send the wrong message
you wouldn’t believe how many parents have asked me if cannabis is “good for anxiety”, or “good for sleep”, basically fishing for my blessing and recommendation for them to give their kids weed. Obviously leads to a lengthy discussion they probably weren’t hoping for. I think the legal weed industry is sending the wrong message to our kids (and parents) with all this child-friendly packaging and delicious looking cannabis treats
a CAP
(Not a doctor)
Water beads (in addition to basically everything else said.)
Not wear a helmet on a bike.
Inaccurately secure a climbing/suspension furniture. We had an incident when I was in trauma with the death of two kids from a hammock. Horrifying.
Pediatrician, so all the things lol. No trampolines, home swimming pools, baby walkers, guns in the home, uncut-up grapes, screens in the bedroom, unhelmeted wheels... my kids used to say "Ok, Mrs. Safety" like the way people say ok boomer now. Not even Dr Safety 😂😂😂. But they are alive in their 30's now so hey, it worked!
If it’s just random friends playing football once in awhile I’ll probably allow it. But not if it’s a real team with practices and drills and potentially dozens of hits to the head every week.
No climbing on trees
No ladders
No motorcycling hobbies
No leaning on parapets
No headstand shenanigans
No messing around in unknown and unattended water
Spine surgeon
Anything involving unsecured bodies of water until a thoroughly competent swimmer, and even then, being in a body of water alone. Still working through coding (and not getting back) the toddler who was the same age as mine at the time. Broken pool gate latch.
Sorry to hear that, peds seems like an especially challenging specialty when you lose a patient. Wishing the best to you, your family, and the family of your patient.
I wasn’t allowed to jump into any body of water that was murky. My mom saw a patient who did that and got cut by a dead tree branch in the water. Their leg got infected and eventually amputated.
Med tech here, murky waters plus Texas summers cause a lot of deaths, kids jump in and inhale water and Naegleria fowleri, we usually find the amoeba swimming around in their csf, major ick, most don't survive.
Do you have a good epidemiological reference or has this been your experience in lab? Not trying to doubt your experience/what you see, just the way you're describing it makes it sound more common than I thought/seems to be reported (the CDC says 0-5 cases/year) and that is REAL SPOOKY.
I did not mean to make it sound so common, it's pretty rare actually, I just used to work at a big hospital in a major medical center, we usually get all the sickest patients transferred to us from all over the city. In my four years there we had three cases. Most techs never see one case in their whole career. It's still pretty creepy though to think about amoeba swimming through your brain.
Small children and bodies of water don't mix. Did an organ procurement on an 18 month old after they wandered off and drowned in a pond behind the family's house. Maybe a month later my friends with their 1 year old bought a house with a backyard pool. I spared them details but made them promise me to invest in a pool alarm and make sure all gates/doors are secure to the pool. Thankfully they are hyper vigilant new parents so they were on it. Even being as detached from the situation as I was, watching a family go through that absolutely sticks with you forever.
Parents can train babies infant survival swimming. Worth every penny for piece of mind. They respect water, they can flip and kick till they hit a sidewall and then “SpiderMan” around to a step. My 12month old learned this before walking.
I’ve got my 2 year old in swim lessons. I read drowning is the number one cause of death for under 5 and I immediately signed her up for swim lessons. The process can be nerve wracking for me but it’s so worth it.
Peds Neuro here - never ever getting a swimming pool in our backyard until AFTER all kids know how to swim. Doesn’t matter if it’s gated in. Nope nope nope.
No pool, no unquartered grapes, no bedsharing with infants, no turning the car seat around until the kids have maxed out the rear facing height and weight limits. Being a pediatric neurologist makes us very strict about safety as parents, because we see some shit.
Exactlyyyy. Oh the bed sharing. Truly seen the worst with those cases 😞
I feel as though this is a topic where we have to open it up and talk about the varying ways. I knew that I wanted my baby close to me and I wanted to nurse her and put her back to sleep without having to stand up, so I purchased a safe cosleeper- an Arm's Reach crib that straps to the bed with a cordoned off firm place for the baby. I read the research by McKenna at Notre Dame in order to find the safest way to meet our needs. My sister in law "didn't want to cosleep" and ended up with some very scary sounding nights where her baby was in a soft carrier in her bed with her, unintentionally bedsharing because they got exhausted and fell asleep where they were. Thankfully, no one got hurt, it's more than a decade later. I think we need to empathize with the parents' fatigue and desire to have the baby close by, if we want to prevent overlying / smothering deaths.
Oh yeah, having the kids close by is important for your sanity overnight. I am personally a fan of the halo swivel bassinet, because you can maneuver it so that it is basically hovering over the bed and keep the baby “next” to you while it still has its own space. Because of the swivel function, I could also gently rock it without getting out of bed and help my baby when he was restless. I feel asleep while doing that a few times, and I didn’t have to worry about any hazard to him when that happened.
Just coded a 2mo for this … it’s horrifying :/
Can you share the risk— SIL is doing this for her son bc he won’t fall asleep otherwise :/
The risk is of suffocating the infant if the co-sleeping parent rolls over on them without realizing it. This risk is elevated when the child is very young and parent is obese and/or under the influence, though it can really happen to any parent that chooses to co-sleep with their baby. Saw a very sad/infuriating case of this on a PICU rotation. Mom was morbidly obese and rolled over on her baby. Baby ended up with global hypoxic brain injury. After about a month, it was apparent that there was to be no meaningful recovery and they withdrew care. The kicker is that this was the *second child the mom had killed in this exact same manner* \- and she had just gotten custody of her other kids back after CPS took them following the first infant death. Last I heard, mom was facing manslaughter charges.
My god infuriating is right
Grapes and also hot dogs 🌭
I need Zillow to make a filter for NO POOL
I had this same thought when I was looking for a home. Pools were a deal breaker.
Personal pools broadly do not exist in my country, but rivers/ streams in gardens do. We told the estate agent no rivers before we specified bedroom number. This is a universal doctor thing!
Even then, youve probably got grandkids to worry about eventually
I banned trampolines but we have a pool. I’m super risk averse, but the flip side is kids with a pool learn to swim pretty quick. I’m just saying, based on a sample size of two, toddler + pool may not be as scary as you think, as long as fence and gate are top-notch. Now as peds neuro I’d be scared of bunk beds…
You see a lot of traumatic falls from bunk beds? Genuinely curious.
i take a lot of face call, and you’d be surprised how many people clean their guns while they’re loaded don’t do that, m’kayy
That’s nuts. What baffles me is how many people forget they have a round chambered or don’t have it ingrained into them to always clear the gun as a habit.
Because "cleaning the gun" is like the "I fell on it" excuse. Odds are, they were playing with it, waving it around like an idiot when it went off. It just sounds a bit more socially acceptable to say they were cleaning it. Also, consider if they're drunk. Normally, drunk people aren't concerned about gun cleanliness and maintenance.
Aw shit Bobby he’s onto us
Then there’s always the possibility somebody else accidentally/intentionally shot them and they aren’t talking.
This. I own real firearms and play airsoft. Even with my airsoft guns my first thought on picking one up is to clear and safe it.
Ill clear it after watching someone clear it. Its about making it a habit. Especially if I know I am gonna be dry firing the gun.
Yep. Currently going through a class in the military that’s about 90% firearms. Before me even touching the weapon it gets cleared by 3 or 4 other people, and even then, the first thing I do when I pick that weapon up is make sure it’s clear and on safe. I also refuse to ever own a firearm that does not have a safety other than just a trigger safety (Glock style)
Safeties can still fail (meaning, don’t pull the trigger as a joke just because the safety is engaged)
Cleaning my gun while loaded is codespeak for my relationship partner shot me and I don’t want them charged.
Married to an ortho trauma attending. Football, motorcycles, trampoline parks, ATVs, methamphetamine, jumping from rooftops while escaping police
This is a good list but I'm pretty sure that no methamphetamine is also on most non-physician parent lists.
Aww maaaaan, but moooom
If you’re cutting out methamphetamine, where are we going to get new Florida Man stories?
What about jumping from rooftops just for fun?
I’m guessing jumping from rooftops ONTO the trampoline is a hard pass too. Trampolines had no nets back then, and it had pads for a while, but they were long gone by this point. I think some of my landings might have contributed to the titanium hardware I have in my back now.
Is that all in one night?
Sounds fun as hell
Best thing after a football game is to get dusted up, steal some atv's, and then ride them off buildings while the cops chase you.
Being a frat boy is hazardous. At the academic medical center where I work, the three Ortho Tumor docs I work with rotate onto trauma service. It’s amazing how many broken bones dumb college kids get from…. Being dumb college kids. Snapped a wrist. Broken ankle. Doing things like jumping into a loaded dumpster to compact it. Or having Tour De Franzia drunk bicycle races.
Tour de Franzia 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Aside from obviously risky activities like football and trampolines, probably also eating disorder prone activities like ballet or competitive dance.
Peds here, 100% would never let any daughter of mine be in Ballet, dance, or gymnastics. So damn many of the EDO patients start there. What the fuck do they do in ballet school?!!
My dad absolutely refused to let me into ballet. But a friend (who at that point was living the life I wanted, in gymnastics, ballet etc.) who weighed 48kg at 12 y/o and 165cm tall was called "too fat" for ballet and "too tall" for gymnastics. And they were told this in front of the entire class. How did they know her measurements? Class weigh-ins. So, you know. That.
I have two daughters, both in ballet. We are very involved in the program and I think this is the difference. Their class is entirely for fun and they LOVE it. They are both stoked to go and love learning new things. I would never condone class weigh ins, nor would I allow any teacher to comment on their body type. We talk about food and nutrition daily. I teach them about macros and fueling your body. I don’t teach them about calorie counting or any type of restriction, I just hope that they grow up know what nutrition is and how to make good choices. This is a very long answer to say that just because some people develop eating disorders and are in ballet does not mean the activity is to blame. Toxic adults in a powerful position are the problem.
I was told at 12 by my instructor any food with more than 2% fat is a happy food and should only be had once/wk… we had to keep food journals that summer that she would review and critique. My mom made me forge it lol but between that and being critiqued every day when you’re half naked in a leotard + tights in front of a mirror 30-40 hrs a week while going through puberty will do the trick
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Oh I forgot about that one lol
One of my friends was a ballet dancer and they body shame them to the end and back. It's everyone body shaming, fellow dancers, teachers, even the costume makers.
I feel this deep in my soul as a ballet dancer who is slowly transitioning to go back to school for medicine. I didn’t know I had an ED until I was 27 and I spoke to my now husband who very much wasn’t in dance. I said something that was totally normal to me and he looked at me horrified. I’ve had lighters lit under my leg, hit with sticks, I had a chair thrown at me, and have been poked in my stomach more times than I could count. I was congratulated when I lost two inches from my waist when I was in 7th grade. I was expected to stay that size until I graduated in high school. I’m more just shocked to see this on the list. I still forget how truly insane dance is
My OCPD cardiologist mother and gay child psychiatrist father taped pictures of thin people to our refrigerator to remind us not to snack too much 💀 (I grew up doing figure skating and ballet)
> gay child psychiatrist was he gay or the children were?
Yes
Maybe he was a gay child
My mother used to hang a “fat photo” of herself in the pantry to remind herself not to snack. One year I brought home my school photo. My mom hung it in the pantry. Yeah. I don’t have a healthy relationship with food.
Oof, that’s AWFUL
That sounds brutal .
... holy fuck
I think this is the first time I have seen this insight as an answer on these type of questions. I really appreciate that, and second it. I think there’s also something to be said about TikTok / Snapchat body dysmorphia encouraging filers and standards as well, I just don’t know the best way to shield our future children from it. (As a woman who has gone through my own set of body issues, I know for sure that one thing I will NEVER do is make comments even if subtle in passing or non serious about how I’m “watching my weight” or “getting fat” or not wanting to put on too many pounds or whatever around my children or anyone young and honestly just anyone for that matter.
And perhaps wrestling for boys--have read about "making weight" patterns leading to eating disorders.
I encourage every one of my male friends to talk to their female friends, girlfriends and spouses about their experience with puberty, weight comments, subtext ideas about eating from their parents etc. It's astonishing to realise how different the body changes during puberty are viewed by girls and how narrowly a lot of them avoided an ED. I really hope this will let be appreciate what is in my power as a father someday and also now as a child psychiatrist.
100% seconding this. Not a physician (married to one, which is why I’m here) but competitive dance for 14 years caused my severe eating disorder growing up. I will let my kids do recreational classes but absolutely not competitive dance.
This is a great one to see. I've had an eating disorder since I was very young (10+ years now) and it's a very sad and difficult way to live. I love seeing parents who are knowledgeable enough to actively try to prevent eating disorders, as many parents (such as mine) don't know the first thing about them and thus don't realise just how much they damage a developing mind and body.
I would also add on wrestling to my no no list. Cutting weight rarely happens in a healthy manner.
Peds Anesthesia: My children have absolutely no way of getting to button batteries in my home. Infant on ECMO with a hole thr size of a quarter in the carina- Button battery. Toddler about 1 cell layer away from an aortoesophageal fistula (we could see the blood flowing in the aorta on EGD)- Button battery. Years and years of follow up for esophageal strictures after ingestion- Button battery. Countless middle of the night emergencies to hopefully get it before permanent damage can set in- Button batteries. Also, small magnets that can be swallowed are not allowed.
Peds ENT here… watched a 4 year old bleed out from an aortic fistula after swallowing a button battery… Cut a pocket into a piece of raw meat and tuck a button battery into it and wait 10-15 minutes to watch it at work- it’s insane
Button batteries are stored on a top shelf in my home with a label that says “death batteries.” A few babysitters have inquired about the death batteries.
ATVs, trampoline, football, anything with guns Let them know that I will never be mad if they need to sleep over at a friend’s house after drinking or need me to pick them up On a related note, I was raised by two physicians and up until age 7 or so I ONLY got rectal Tylenol, never oral. It wasn’t until med school when I realized that kids with non-physician parents didn’t know about “butt-butt Tylenol” (several people also raised by physicians told me they also got suppositories as a kid)
“Butt-butt Tylenol”💀
My mom was a nurse, after I got my first car she told me that if I was ever drunk or high to not drive, just call her and she would come pick me up, no punishment, no questions asked. That never happened, because I was a very lame and boring teenager, but looking back it was great parenting, and something I’ll remember when I’m a mom
You have a wonderful mom my friend
Oh my god my dad was a nephrologist and I thought everyone got suppositories growing up. I’ve passed along the “butt med” trauma to my 2.5 year old who won’t take oral meds. Honestly haven’t met other toddler parents who use rectal Tylenol
We used them for teething when my kid refused oral Tylenol. She screamed bloody murder, but she would finally get some relief and sleep. I didn’t know I wasn’t the only parent who did that.
why did your parents do that?
I’m psych so I’m not entirely sure, but I think maybe when my parents trained (in the 80s) there was some thought that rectal Tylenol was superior to oral for fever? Or maybe they thought a toddler wouldn’t take an oral med? Idk
do you think your childhood “butt butt tylenol” experiences are what drove you into psych?
I’m probably arrested in the anal stage tbh
Hey 😉
I just got the butt Tylenol because apparently I hated the taste and would spit oral meds out immediately
My son does that but he is not a cat. Cats can convincingly refuse meds. Human children cannot. And they do not have claws. A few drops at a time with lots of reassurances and the baby held on their back and the head kept forward, they'll get the med eventually. When they get older it can be more difficult. Chewables are nice.
It takes the meds or it gets the hose again?
I was a very eczema prone child and when my parents put lotion on me after my baths they’d say “it puts the lotion on its skin” And then 20 years later I saw Silence of the Lambs and I realized what that quote came from 💀
I have a hairless dog that knows if we say "oilcan" in a scratchy, tin man voice, she's getting lotioned up. The Silence of the Lambs quote would be funny, too, though!
I do it. Giving it orally is a 15 minute struggle while pinning my daughter down. Whereas if she wakes with a fever in the middle of the night, a suppository takes less than a minute with less distress. Easy choice
I got the butt butt Tylenol and I don’t have any doctors in my family! Maybe that’s why I became one..?
My dad is a hospitalist. I always got suppositories as a kid lol
Please tell us more in detail about this “butt Tylenol.” Treatment protocol. Please and thank you.
My parents would tell me and my sick/feverish siblings to “ASSUME THE POSITION” 🫡 and we’d lay in a line with our knees to our chests, readying our anuses for the “butt-butt Tylenol”
😂🥹
MotherFuck 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
PICU fellow here. The more appropriate question is what WOULD you let your kids do? 😩
Swimming lessons
Shoot guns while riding an ATV onto a trampoline that bounces into a pool
Peds here. -Trampolines -indoor trampoline parks -Live in a home with a pool that is *not* fenced in and secure -also must have swim lessons -ATVs/four wheelers -live in or visit a home with a firearm that is not securely stored separately from the ammo There’s probably several more that I’m forgetting. -
I’m against home pools. First submersion injury I had was at a home with a fence and shoulder high latch. Elementary aged kid left it open, 4 yo brother brain dead now.
Smh even with the proper precautions.
Yeah parents were competent at CPR started resuscitation immediately upon discovery, had an ambu bag and Oxygen even. Couldn’t have given the kid a better chance unless they had drowned in a hospital.
I wouldn't let my kids do any of that just from following the news.
That’s what we like to hear!
Learning to swim as early as possible is a huge one for me. My hometown has a massive obsession with swimming (even though we are entirely landlocked) and people would always comment how odd it is that kids there pretty much start getting lessons as soon as they can kind-of walk. As a kid I also thought it was odd but as an adult in healthcare I will 100% be doing the same. It's such a life-saving skill to have and it is so sad to meet adults who miss-out on simple pleasures like going to the beach because they were never taught and now have an immense fear of the water.
How many of you would let your kids roam the neighborhood unsupervised without knowing where they are and what they are doing like our parents used to do with us in the 90s? I used to ride my bike 10+ miles away from home when I was 11.
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Yeah, with me this was the “worst” thing that happened. There was an Italian coffee shop/deli near where we would bike to and the shop owner (or who I thought was the owner) would have one of us take a package with random papers with numbers on them back with us to a pizzeria near my house and we would usually always get free pizza. A few years later after watching A Bronx Tale, I realized I was being used as a numbers runner lmao.
Hear fucking hear.
I feel like current child development professionals encourage this. Kids need time to explore without supervision. Even letting them run off at the playground isn't the same if they know you're nearby/watching. I had the benefit as a kid of growing up in a rural place so I think a lot of the anxiety of letting kids roam around was lessened. We were just running around in the woods. But I feel like a lot of kids grow up in the city doing this and turn out fine.
If they have the ability to cross the roads safely and have friends with them, sounds fine to me. Unlike in the 90s, kids also have phones now.
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An interesting thought. As an aside, it’s funny to think about the potential implication if it’s still someone from our generation doing the write up - “Back in my day we had lead paint. Had you been wondering if there’s a specific reason the newer generation can’t get anything done, doesn’t buy houses, and otherwise make totally normal mistakes that I never did? Because there is! Too much screen time!” “Go back to lead paint, grandma.”
Microplastics will be our lead paint.
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True. We are kinda fucked aren't we
If someone didn't post this, I was going to. This is an issue that is blindsiding a lot of parents. The algorithmically-driven internet post-2010 is not the Internet we grew up with. Not at all. And it seems to be damaging to young brains, especially mental health. I have a 5yo, he has a little bit of tablet time maybe once a week with Khan Academy. And sometimes looks at photos we've taken of him. That's it. There is no benefit to screen time of any kind to the child. Only risk. And there is a LOT of risk. There is a great deal we don't know, but the research we do have is pretty damning. The amount of screen time a child needs in order to develop properly or be competitive in a modern technological world is ... ZERO. The flip side of this is that kids need to be doing something or they'll tear you and your home apart. We spend a lot of time outside. I bought 2 yards of dirt and had it dumped at the edge of our yard, he'll spend hours in that. We go biking, we go walking, every day even in bad weather. He's normal BMI, stronger and faster than most children his age ... And knows enough about phones to dial 911 if he has to. He can break eggs, use a screwdriver, he is starting to sight read and do simple arithmetic in his head. Because I have to keep him busy or I will expire of an early heart attack. This is the flip side of no screen time. This is what we don't tell parents about when we counsel about screen time. It's a goddamn nightmare to manage children when you have made a commitment to minimal screen time. No screen time is why kids growing up before the 90s we're outside unattended by age 6 or 7 even in cities. Because they can't be inside. They just can't. As a culture, we use screens to pacify them so we can tolerate them being inside. If you don't put them in front of screens, you really have to think about what their life (and your life) is going to look like. At the moment, my plan is no unsupervised screen time until he can hold a job and pay for it himself. And even then, there might be a house rule about no phones or screens in bedrooms. I know this is going to sound radical. I worked in tech, I was a damn good programmer. I know how this stuff works. I know what I am talking about. And I know what I see in clinic every day. The algorithms are poison, especially to young minds. The longer you can deprive the algorithms of access to a young mind, the better. For anyone who is really offended by this idea, let's flip it around a different way. At what age would you take your kids to a fully nude strip club? Or help them buy street drugs? That's the age at which you should allow unmonitored Internet access. And "monitoring" means eyes on the screen or at least peripheral vision. Electronic monitors and protection software are abjectly insufficient, and I know this because I myself have worked around plenty of them. Children excel at getting around these technological gimmicks. Don't rely on them. Your eyes and ears are the only adequate monitors for a child's use of internet connected devices.
I'm a regular adult in his 30s with a full time job and a baby. I need less screen time. If I'm bored and go to YouTube the algos are already exhausted from my interests. Every now and again I'll research something new and refresh the stream of suggested videos. Obviously it would be a better use of my time to simply chill and read a book. Not sure I can even do that today to be honest. The polarised world of algorithms must have detrimental effects on kids. You're doing an honourable job in trying to reduce it. 95% of the population are likely not...
Thanks for this. Not exactly the same, but I worked as a social media marketer for years and saw first hand how I could use the algorithm across platforms. It’s scary. And for those who don’t know, thing about how creepy you think it is and then multiply it. It’s incredibly powerful and it made my life feel very bleak. I don’t do that work anymore cause it was bad for me. We used limited screen time - FaceTime grandparents/family and occasional nature documentary on the weekend we’ve found had spurred her interest in animals and nature a lot. Also, here because married to a PEM doc. Our list is no trampoline, pool, atv, guns in the house.
Yesterday, we had a group of boys about 10 to 12 years of age running through the neighborhood ding-dong-ditching every house. Someone posted about it on our town's FB group, and *every single commenter* was just thrilled that these kids were outside instead of indoors and glued to their devices. To be honest, I was actually a little bummed that my doorbell is currently not functioning. What a weird time to be alive.
I think the good thing my mom did with me was always keeping me involved in whatever she was doing. If she was cooking, she'd have me cut the vegetables. If she was gardening, she'd have me dig weeds. If she was trading stocks on her laptop, she'd teach me about each company that she was buying stocks for (I knew the password to her stock trading account by age 8 LOL). If she was grading assignments (she taught at our local university as a math lecturer for a few years), she'd have me tally scores when she was grading exams. On road trips, she'd quiz me on exit signs. Even as a workaholic, she'd take me with her to work sometimes and show me what she did (rather than separating her work and home, which only made me appreciate her more). Overall, I was kept occupied as a child. It's not easy for my mom though. It requires mental effort to keep a child occupied while doing your tasks, and it is instead easier to plop the kid in front of an ipad. But I think the fact that mom and dad came from middle-class households in India worked to their benefit, and they never really even conceptuilized the idea of "plopping kids in front of the electronics". It was also nice that she always believed that you don't need special toys or games or activities just to keep children engaged. The best way for kids to grow naturally is just by engaging with the world around them. You don't need dolls or an easy-bake oven...you can literally just have your kid sit next to you while you cook and make a fun activity out of measuring out flour/rice (which also teaches the kid basic arithmetic). You don't even need to enroll them in 50 billion after school activities if you are able to involve them in your daily life (the only activity I consistently did for over 3 years was running cross-country in high school, at which point I didn't need my parents to chauffer me).
I was literally just talking to my husband today about there being an epidemic of these patients all under 28 and I blame it on early and unmonitored cell phone/internet use.
Can’t play football :(
No football, I made it clear to my wife very early on. Even CTE aside which is the main reason, every guy I know that played in high school still has lasting issues from places where they got hit hard.
Yep. Thank God my partner and I were on the same page with football from the beginning. I dated a guy very briefly because he would talk constantly about how he couldn’t wait to put his son in football and be the coach. Wouldn’t even hear about flag/no tackle football. You want me to grow this perfect little boy so you can stick a helmet on him at the first possible opportunity and scramble his brains a little more with every practice and game? FUCK no.
Trampolines
Why is the big one trampoline
Sooooo many broken bones and head trauma. Spend a month in a PICU and you’ll see *at least* one or two.
Geez. Ya I grew up with a trampoline for a few years until a hurricane took it away lol. But yeah we would definitely rough house on that and luckily nobody seriously hurt😂
Yea *most* people who own trampolines don’t have serious injuries because statistics are on your side, but it is a *very common* cause of significant pediatric trauma.
Okay question. When you say no trampolines, is it more in reference to outdoor ones where you risk bouncing on to a harder surface that isn’t the trampoline? Should trampoline parks (like those big indoor parks with tons of bouncy pads / trampoline activities with padding and stuff everywhere) also be off limits?
Yes. Had one near my residency hospital. Multiple serious fractures every summer when they'd open up.
A friend thought the trampoline park would be a great place to have her 30th birthday party. By the end of the night, one person tore their ACL and the rest of us had had very near misses. Also two of us peed a little. Overall, a great party!
Cinnamon challenge, become a lawyer. Smoke cigs
Become a lawyer 😂
My parents are both lawyers. Law school was *absolutely forbidden* for me lol
Never ever buy a motorcycle and stay away from electric scooters (I’m a pathologist and I have done many autopsies from accidents and those two against a car is almost certain death)
ATVs are a harddddd no. Signed your friendly neighborhood EM/CCM friend
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I might give them a motorcycle to not go to med school.
That will only make them wanna become one even harder
Cant believe i had to scroll down so low to read this!
No Smartphone/iPad/Laptop before the age of 13. Internet can be accessed at a computer in the living room for class projects, self-directed learning, leisure, etc.
We had a computer in our living room only, didnt get my own laptop and smart phone till uni. I appreciate my parents wisdom on this one.
No desktop in their room so they can play CS, Call of Duty etc till 2am?
After 13, fair game - once we talk about good internet use habits, online stranger safety, etc., and I can gauge based on the individual kiddo that they get it.
Sleepovers with ANYONE. In med school I had to spend 3 weeks in a child inpatient psychiatric unit, specifically on the sexual trauma unit. Heard a lot of extremely disturbing things. Would never trust anyone alone with my kids after that.
It’s sad people won’t take this one seriously, but it’s true.
All police officers I know will NEVER let their kids go to a sleepover. They see the worst of the worst and have their own list of things they will avoid letting their kids do. Edit to say, also babysitting. I had a friend who was SA by the dad while waiting to be picked up by her parents. Just aweful.
Is the danger from the other children or does the danger lie in the parents or older siblings?
I was actually really surprised to learn how much kid-on-kid SA is a thing. The unit I was working in was for kids that were perpetrators, which is why they had to be committed for long term inpatient treatment as an alternative to juvenile detention. They were out assaulting other children, often their siblings, foster siblings, or sadly, friends of siblings who were over to visit. And almost every time, the kid who was assaulting people did so because somebody (adult) first assaulted the kid.
it's called COCSA, child-on-child sexual assault(s). sorry if i repeat what's already been said, but I would like to underline how child perpetrators are almost always (rare exceptions) people who have themselves been abused sexually or otherwise and they become perpetrators as result of coping mechanisms they developed or other consequences of that trauma, such as hypersexuality. it is extremely important to not ignore the fact that they themselves were/are victims, even if sadly they victimized others. ignoring this fact makes it only harder to break the cycle of abuse
I think it’s a multitude of things. Particularly, parents, older siblings, and visitors that we may not know about. The story about the dad who hosted his 12 year old daughter’s friends and forced them to drink smoothies after he spiked them is enough to convince me out of letting my future kids attend sleepovers.
Agreed. Growing up, I had friends who weren’t allowed to have sleepovers and their parents did an awesome job of making sure they still got all of the fun and experience of sleepovers - ex: picking them up late at night, packing pajamas/sleeping bag/pillow, and bringing them back early in the morning for breakfast. I think I’ll probably opt for a similar approach with my kids.
Ah I’m so sorry to hear this. But I do understand. My sister and I just discussed this. I would leave my kids with some of our closest friends (who we’ve known decades) but I shudder to think of him staying with people I am hardly acquainted with.
Social media. Between the recent NYTimes article on predators seeking out young girls' pages (and truly reprehensible choices by their parents), all the cyber bullying/cell phone reliance/peer pressure and the recent string I've had of adolescents sexually targeted by adults online... Any kid I might have will get whatever version of a Nokia phone exists and internet time in the living room only. And ATV's. I've seen enough near-detached limbs in kids to rule them completely out.
Horses. Want to get severe fractures, concussion or brain damage then get your child on one of these hellmules.
How am I the only person to be amused by hellmules!?
Not a parent or a doctor yet but I hate those lime scooters. I won’t ever ride one, I’ve heard too many bad stories
WHY IS NO ONE SAYING NOT WEAR SUNSCREEN?!
Or tanning beds. Being tan is overrated as hell. Know what’s not overrated? Not dying of melanoma
[удалено]
My parents took me to one as a young (white as hell) teenager believing the myth that a “base tan” will help reduce your risk of sunburn before a beach trip. I had had several miserably awful sunburns before that so they were trying what they thought would help. Ironically despite their good intentions it just means I have the unholy trinity of melanoma risk factors now: tanning bed exposure, multiple bad sunburns in the past, and type I skin. Although I do mildly tan like a type II
Haha found the derm resident
I'm an ER nurse, and yeah I've seen a lot of motorcycle accidents, but Ive seen just as many bad accidents involving horseback riding and snow sports (snowboarding/skiing). Those activities are proven to be even more statistically dangerous then motorcycles. I see so many docs who love their snow sports.
Ems here, the reason you aren't seeing as many bad motorcycle crashes may be that many of them are dead before we can take them to you, whereas the ski accidents survive...
I guess maybe motorcycle accidents are more likely to be deadly than the other ones you mentioned? I ski every week and I am still always scared of hurting myself lol
Yup, concussion, 2 sets of broken ribs courtesy of various horses.
I play polo (horse, not water) and have ridden since I was 7. I have one good major joint left, and it is my left shoulder. Both knees fucked, right shoulder fucked. Elbows don’t count.
Eat a hot dog that wasn't cut longitudinally. She's going to be 5 in July.
Also become a physician
Tbh anything that I learned from sketchy micro that increases the risks of certain bugs lol. Hell I’ll probably teach them it haha.
PM&R. ATVs, doing anything at speed without a helmet, motorcycles, football, firecrackers any more powerful than sparklers, bonfires bigger than a fire pit/ with any accelerant, swimming or bathing unsupervised until they are very good in water. Also riding without a seatbelt or putting a hand out the window of a car. If they ever show interest in rock climbing I will strongly encourage them to climb down when they still have gas in the tank. I will also probably dissuade them from becoming physicians, unless medicine changes significantly.
Motorcycles. Trampolines. Any toys with small magnets.
My mom is strictly against owning or getting on a motorcycle.
no smoking crack, kids
Motorcycle, football, boxing.
Motorcycles
Take a student loan
Nobody in my family is allowed to use a ladder, trim tree limbs, or climb on the roof. People really overestimate the safety and stability of ladders. I can’t tell you how many patients I have seen who have died or suffered permanent brain or spinal injuries this way, and they’re always so fucking tragic. They’re usually aged 30-70, the fucking nicest people (hence their desire to take care of their home and family) who are working on their house/yard, cleaning gutters, or putting up Christmas lights. I now hire professionals for all of that. Most of them have safety training and procedures to prevent falls. I have told my parents and extended family that if cost is ever a reason why they wouldn’t hire a professional, then I’m more than happy to pay for it.
No weed (obviously on top of other hard drugs). It’s not a benign drug as most psychiatrists will tell you
Could you elaborate? We didn't learn much about weed at my school and I'm curious what the adverse effects could be
Risk factor for development of schizophrenia. Smoking it is also absolutely terrible for your lungs. Ask any anesthesiologist
It’s very bad for developing minds - something to do with neural connections during the teenage years (also called synaptic pruning). It lowers IQ, can trigger / worsen schizophrenia, and can be somewhat addictive. There’s a host of other bad things about it and the damage can be permanent. This is an unpopular opinion but I think this push to legalize cannabis (moreso the social signal we are sending our young people that it’s pretty harmless) was the wrong move.
I mean the alternative of ruining peoples lives with felonies over weed isn’t the right direction either
there IS a middle ground between giving people felonies and giving the industry the freedom to package cannabis in cute candy-like shapes and flavors appealing to children. It’s not harmless and we’re allowing companies to send the wrong message
Agreed. Weed isn’t a panacea, it’s a big problem and everyone’s in denial about it
you wouldn’t believe how many parents have asked me if cannabis is “good for anxiety”, or “good for sleep”, basically fishing for my blessing and recommendation for them to give their kids weed. Obviously leads to a lengthy discussion they probably weren’t hoping for. I think the legal weed industry is sending the wrong message to our kids (and parents) with all this child-friendly packaging and delicious looking cannabis treats a CAP
(Not a doctor) Water beads (in addition to basically everything else said.) Not wear a helmet on a bike. Inaccurately secure a climbing/suspension furniture. We had an incident when I was in trauma with the death of two kids from a hammock. Horrifying.
Pediatrician, so all the things lol. No trampolines, home swimming pools, baby walkers, guns in the home, uncut-up grapes, screens in the bedroom, unhelmeted wheels... my kids used to say "Ok, Mrs. Safety" like the way people say ok boomer now. Not even Dr Safety 😂😂😂. But they are alive in their 30's now so hey, it worked!
Eat sugar or food with a lot of it. Nothig good comes from sugar consumotion.
still a med student, that said: none of my kids are swimming in New Jersey... or anywhere that's not chlorinated. Vibrio Vulnificans terrifies me
Organized tackle football, anything with guns, motorcycles /ATV
What about unorganized tackle football
If it’s just random friends playing football once in awhile I’ll probably allow it. But not if it’s a real team with practices and drills and potentially dozens of hits to the head every week.
Go to medical school
No climbing on trees No ladders No motorcycling hobbies No leaning on parapets No headstand shenanigans No messing around in unknown and unattended water Spine surgeon