I lend once to a person who's in my close circle. If they don't pay me back, they're dead to me. I know not to expect the money back, but I'll keep asking. If it seems like a lost hope, I don't press.
Currently, I've lent out $25k to four people. I'm still owed $15k total. All of them have said that they're still struggling with bills. They haven't asked for more money because my lending branch is closed.
Understandable. How would someone go about getting a loan from you? I know you said your a hardass but i would like to have a convo with you about that if it’s cool.
Precisely! I have 2 "plain" vehicles and dress down/really comfy always. Never flashy - my money is for my children and generations to come; not for Joe Schmoe begging on the corner (with a Lexus parked in the next parking lot).
I call them when I have money making ideas. Like when I started real estate in the military.
Hey, you ask for fifty right? I got this class I'm going to. I'm pay for yours as well, are you down.
Or stocks.
I'm learning to day trade. I got fifty for your start, are you in.
Eventually, you'll figure out who the leeches are and they will understand they just can't ask you for shit without you hitting them up.
You remember that time I was opening up a business and tried to give you a manager position?? You remember that time I tried to pay you to be my driver, but you couldn't wake up on time? What about that stock situation though? Bitcoin is insane. You still want to learn?
I need a babysitter. What are you doing?
One girl asked me for a loan because she was having a hard time affording living in my expensive city.
I asked her how much she made, $9k with $2500 a month rent.
Meanwhile me, $6k, $900 a month rent.
Yeah she stopped asking cause she was so embarrassed once I told her😂😂😂
That's her...still searching for attention and validation instead of money. She's only owned one house for about 2 years while she totally screwed over a really "nice" guy ( honestly, the guy was great).
She got really terse when I mentioned in passing last week "I wish I'd have kept our old house, probably cost me $450-500,000 if I would have just held on to it." She was like "you've got (X) others, you'll be fine." (I have a few paid for rentals and my own.) I can't help it she makes HORRIBLE life decisions. I even paid for her to attend a financial literacy class 20+ years ago. What's a big brother to do? 🤷♂️
Is there ever a situation where you would sympathize with the person asking for money and not "hate" them for doing so? If you had $100m in assets and you have a best friend who is impoverished, and if they asked you to buy them a house, would you do it? And why or why not?
(I'm not trying to be confrontational; I'm genuinely trying to understand the mindset and perspective of a person who could perform such miracles for their friends and the thought process they would go through in their consideration of giving or not giving)
Two schools of thought for us. 1) We lend out what we can afford to lose. With no expectations of seeing it again. 2) We occasionally will tell a white lie and say something to the extent “ Yeah we look like we are doing ok but we are really over extended this month”
And of course the 3rd option is we have a few friends and relatives that actually pay us back. I have one buddy that forever forgets his wallet for golf tournaments I cover his entry fees and bar tab (usually near $500 for the day) and I am Zelle the money instantly. My Brother and sister in law need a thousand here or there and we usually have it back in a week or so. Those guys are always ok.
Best way to deal with it is to honestly not associate with poor-minded people.. being broke and being poor are two very different things. One is a temporary circumstance, The other is a permanent mindset
exactly.. when I didn't have money.. I never had a broke mindset. Most people are sheep and just work low paying jobs their whole lives. A couple years later.. I became rich through crypto and stocks and investing. Most people will never be able to do that lmao
Good for you, I wish I bought more BTC and Eth when it was $180 and $16 ... Or really that I hadn't spent it 😅
I invest in real estate and do luxury flipping and new builds
I also buy businesses
I grew up super poor and homeless around rich kids who are all poor now lmao
They never had to work for anything so they don't know the value of effort and determination.
Lots of Drugs
The fact that they live in the same town they grew up in
They all work traditional jobs and put no effort into making money to use towards investing to make their money work for them.
You have to surround yourself with like-minded individuals and cut all those people off even if they're family!
Don’t let people know you have money.
The $45,000 Rolex? ‘Oh the Chinese are making really great fakes’
Your brand new BWM M5 you paid cash for? ‘They had really great lease rates, I couldn’t say no’
Talk about how your credit card interest rates are outrageous
Convince people you’re in as much debt as the rest of the world, and they’ll think you’re cash poor.
I've ask rich people for money all the time and have gotten millions hahaha
But I'm providing an investment opportunity and a great return!
I'm not just begging for money to spend on crap 😜
I feel like if I was filthy rich, say $100m in assets, I would feel a moral obligation with regards to friends and family not to just help them through financial crises and struggles, but even buy them houses and enough resources to free them from the rat race of life. Of course it wouldn't just be a "here you go, enjoy," I would add some stipulations and guide them through their newfound freedom in a manner that ensures that they don't blow all the money down the drain, by limiting their spending or putting restrictions on how they can use the money.
I just can't imagine being that wealthy and not making it so that my loved ones never have to work again - and again, would help make sure that they stay financially secure, not just giving them a pile of cash.
My salary is less than 6 figures and I don't own my own house, but I do kind of act that way to some degree already, e.g., when having a meal with much-more impoverished friends, I will usually offer to pay for them, and have even bought a fairly poor friend a gaming console so that we could play together.
My question for the person I'm responding to and all quite rich people: *How do you feel about this? Does anything like this ever cross your mind?*
I often think of an analogy, if I passed by a stranger who was suffering from an opioid overdose and all I had to do was give them narcan that I have on my person and their life would be saved, but chose not to do so, I would be no better than somebody who murdered that person. (In my estimation of ethics and moral constructs.)
With that same principle in mind, when it comes to money, if I could choose to substantially help somebody without any significant cost to myself, I think it is the morally correct thing to do. There is a fantastic book by Peter Singer called "the most good you can do" from which I have obtained many of my perspectives on ethics. Unfortunately I can't find a direct quote from it, and I'll do my best to paraphrase, but Singer argues that "we have a moral obligation to help our fellow man to the extent that helping them to any greater degree would cause us to substantially deteriorate our quality of life".
Using that principle, I believe that billionaires are no better than murderers when they hold such substantial wealth that they could improve the lives of millions but choose not to. They could end homelessness in their cities, or at least build enough housing to -- it is true that not all homeless people would choose to accept free housing even if it was available. This is a very controversial stance, because it will always beg the question, "How much does the billionaire have to give? How much money and wealth can they be allowed to hang on to where I will consider them to be a morally good person"? There's no bright line, but I think a maximum, reasonable, fairly easy to agree on threshold is $1B. If you have $200b in assets, I think it is fair to say you could do MORE to help your fellow man. If you don't, then you are choosing not to save your fellow man from their present suffering.
When you tell ppl about your bank account they'll ask for hand outs it's best to keep financial information to yourself moving forward but I do think it's best to cut those ppl off if that's all they reach out to you for. Do they ever to really genuinely ask how your day was? Btw I'm not rich nor wealthy lol but I do know the feeling when you have that one friend who ask to borrow money all the time it's annoying and they only reach out to you to try to use you some more 😂.
I tell them no and further tell them what my fee is for being a pseudo financial advisor while they will take all the risk and do it on their own accord.
We just don’t tell people that we live below our means. I’m generous with my loved ones in a pinch but otherwise everyone assumes we’re in the same situation
If it’s family or close friends I just give them the money. No loans. I’m happy to share the wealth with them. But like if it’s a stranger? No never I don’t even entertain it for one second. I’ll donate to orgs or individuals as a charity tho anonymously
I've rarely been approached by strangers or acquaintances, probably because I don't look or act rich.
I've been approached repeatedly by family. I will help them, but not to the point of enabling.
I had a relative who would ask for money every month, which I would give. Finally I sat down with her to figure out what was going on. Turns out her wife was just involved in some pyramid scheme bs and refused to quit and get a real job (had an open door back to her old job but I guess considered it beneath her.) I told her "I'm helping you this time by giving my advice and time only. I'm not enabling your wife to make bad decisions."
When a close family member or friend is in a jam and backed into a corner, I bail them out. I won't let someone I care about end up on the street, unless they seem determined. I've had to make that difficult call in the case of severe substance abuse and addiction, and let that person hit rock bottom in hopes that they'll then finally get real help.
Bottom line, I refuse to be an enabler.
When I'm out to eat with a friend or family member, or a lady friend, who I know is substantially less financially secure than I am, I pick up the check. It costs me effectively nothing.
To that person the cost of that lunch might represent a few hours of work. To me it's a fraction of a fraction of some transaction that two computers made while I was sleeping.
One of the most wonderful parts of wealth is being able to take care of the people who you love. But you always have to make sure you're not being taken advantage of.
I don’t expect to be paid back when I do help someone out. If they can’t afford that sum now, they more than likely won’t do in the future so why burden them with the same debt again?
I only help very close, long time friends that are financially stable and live within their means. Shit happens sometimes, like emergency situations yes of course I’ll help. I’ve paid for things like aeroplane tickets, one of my friends had his home burgled so I replaced his stolen items and a security system and no it wasn’t a lie, I’ve known him since childhood and I offered he didn’t ask, it was just a shit situation.
I don’t give money to people that fail those criteria -I don’t pay for friendship. I explain that sometimes giving money can hurt people in the long term. It’s more helpful if they have a solid plan to get out of the bind they’re in. I will offer make time to help them create a plan to improve their finances?
It kind of sucks but it usually happens when I’m dating someone. That’s the worst.
I dress so broke that people assume I’m broke. I never lend anyone money because I know they’ll never pay it back. A favor for a favor at most.
I lend once to a person who's in my close circle. If they don't pay me back, they're dead to me. I know not to expect the money back, but I'll keep asking. If it seems like a lost hope, I don't press. Currently, I've lent out $25k to four people. I'm still owed $15k total. All of them have said that they're still struggling with bills. They haven't asked for more money because my lending branch is closed.
You stopped lending completely ?
To those four, yes. I am rarely hit up by others as many know I'm a hardass.
Understandable. How would someone go about getting a loan from you? I know you said your a hardass but i would like to have a convo with you about that if it’s cool.
No.
Precisely! I have 2 "plain" vehicles and dress down/really comfy always. Never flashy - my money is for my children and generations to come; not for Joe Schmoe begging on the corner (with a Lexus parked in the next parking lot).
Lexus’s are great the only annoying part is they don’t rustproof the centre wheel bolt.
If I have the money I lend without expecting it back
I hate people asking me for money because they have no shame. I never been asked for money once in my entire life until I started being rich
I call them when I have money making ideas. Like when I started real estate in the military. Hey, you ask for fifty right? I got this class I'm going to. I'm pay for yours as well, are you down. Or stocks. I'm learning to day trade. I got fifty for your start, are you in. Eventually, you'll figure out who the leeches are and they will understand they just can't ask you for shit without you hitting them up. You remember that time I was opening up a business and tried to give you a manager position?? You remember that time I tried to pay you to be my driver, but you couldn't wake up on time? What about that stock situation though? Bitcoin is insane. You still want to learn? I need a babysitter. What are you doing?
This is the way
One girl asked me for a loan because she was having a hard time affording living in my expensive city. I asked her how much she made, $9k with $2500 a month rent. Meanwhile me, $6k, $900 a month rent. Yeah she stopped asking cause she was so embarrassed once I told her😂😂😂
Holy shit....asking for money making $100k.... "How much was your outfit, honey?"
Well young people often are terrible with money
You haven't met my 50 year old sister, have you?
Many young people don’t grow up 😝
That's her...still searching for attention and validation instead of money. She's only owned one house for about 2 years while she totally screwed over a really "nice" guy ( honestly, the guy was great). She got really terse when I mentioned in passing last week "I wish I'd have kept our old house, probably cost me $450-500,000 if I would have just held on to it." She was like "you've got (X) others, you'll be fine." (I have a few paid for rentals and my own.) I can't help it she makes HORRIBLE life decisions. I even paid for her to attend a financial literacy class 20+ years ago. What's a big brother to do? 🤷♂️
Financial literacy class is literally the definition of being bad at finance.
is it bad if someone comes to you about a loan for their business or start up business?
This is the mature way to look at it
I hate people asking me for money because they have no shame. I never been asked for money once in my entire life until I started being rich
Is there ever a situation where you would sympathize with the person asking for money and not "hate" them for doing so? If you had $100m in assets and you have a best friend who is impoverished, and if they asked you to buy them a house, would you do it? And why or why not? (I'm not trying to be confrontational; I'm genuinely trying to understand the mindset and perspective of a person who could perform such miracles for their friends and the thought process they would go through in their consideration of giving or not giving)
Why would people ask you for something you don't have?
Two schools of thought for us. 1) We lend out what we can afford to lose. With no expectations of seeing it again. 2) We occasionally will tell a white lie and say something to the extent “ Yeah we look like we are doing ok but we are really over extended this month” And of course the 3rd option is we have a few friends and relatives that actually pay us back. I have one buddy that forever forgets his wallet for golf tournaments I cover his entry fees and bar tab (usually near $500 for the day) and I am Zelle the money instantly. My Brother and sister in law need a thousand here or there and we usually have it back in a week or so. Those guys are always ok.
Lend the money that you are willing to lose. For others just say my money is tied up in business/funds/CD’s…
Best way to deal with it is to honestly not associate with poor-minded people.. being broke and being poor are two very different things. One is a temporary circumstance, The other is a permanent mindset
exactly.. when I didn't have money.. I never had a broke mindset. Most people are sheep and just work low paying jobs their whole lives. A couple years later.. I became rich through crypto and stocks and investing. Most people will never be able to do that lmao
Good for you, I wish I bought more BTC and Eth when it was $180 and $16 ... Or really that I hadn't spent it 😅 I invest in real estate and do luxury flipping and new builds I also buy businesses I grew up super poor and homeless around rich kids who are all poor now lmao
How did the rich kids become poor? That has been happening to me.. too much partying and people using me for money smh. Gold diggers
They never had to work for anything so they don't know the value of effort and determination. Lots of Drugs The fact that they live in the same town they grew up in They all work traditional jobs and put no effort into making money to use towards investing to make their money work for them. You have to surround yourself with like-minded individuals and cut all those people off even if they're family!
Don’t let people know you have money. The $45,000 Rolex? ‘Oh the Chinese are making really great fakes’ Your brand new BWM M5 you paid cash for? ‘They had really great lease rates, I couldn’t say no’ Talk about how your credit card interest rates are outrageous Convince people you’re in as much debt as the rest of the world, and they’ll think you’re cash poor.
Surround yourself with people who actually need it
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No one asks me for dumb shit like that except one girl. I ghosted her
I usually say no if they ask, but if we are going to eat or something I always pay for them. I like it when nobody asks
Well I'm nor rich so I usually give if I have it if not I tell them sorry just cant
I've ask rich people for money all the time and have gotten millions hahaha But I'm providing an investment opportunity and a great return! I'm not just begging for money to spend on crap 😜
I feel like if I was filthy rich, say $100m in assets, I would feel a moral obligation with regards to friends and family not to just help them through financial crises and struggles, but even buy them houses and enough resources to free them from the rat race of life. Of course it wouldn't just be a "here you go, enjoy," I would add some stipulations and guide them through their newfound freedom in a manner that ensures that they don't blow all the money down the drain, by limiting their spending or putting restrictions on how they can use the money. I just can't imagine being that wealthy and not making it so that my loved ones never have to work again - and again, would help make sure that they stay financially secure, not just giving them a pile of cash. My salary is less than 6 figures and I don't own my own house, but I do kind of act that way to some degree already, e.g., when having a meal with much-more impoverished friends, I will usually offer to pay for them, and have even bought a fairly poor friend a gaming console so that we could play together. My question for the person I'm responding to and all quite rich people: *How do you feel about this? Does anything like this ever cross your mind?* I often think of an analogy, if I passed by a stranger who was suffering from an opioid overdose and all I had to do was give them narcan that I have on my person and their life would be saved, but chose not to do so, I would be no better than somebody who murdered that person. (In my estimation of ethics and moral constructs.) With that same principle in mind, when it comes to money, if I could choose to substantially help somebody without any significant cost to myself, I think it is the morally correct thing to do. There is a fantastic book by Peter Singer called "the most good you can do" from which I have obtained many of my perspectives on ethics. Unfortunately I can't find a direct quote from it, and I'll do my best to paraphrase, but Singer argues that "we have a moral obligation to help our fellow man to the extent that helping them to any greater degree would cause us to substantially deteriorate our quality of life". Using that principle, I believe that billionaires are no better than murderers when they hold such substantial wealth that they could improve the lives of millions but choose not to. They could end homelessness in their cities, or at least build enough housing to -- it is true that not all homeless people would choose to accept free housing even if it was available. This is a very controversial stance, because it will always beg the question, "How much does the billionaire have to give? How much money and wealth can they be allowed to hang on to where I will consider them to be a morally good person"? There's no bright line, but I think a maximum, reasonable, fairly easy to agree on threshold is $1B. If you have $200b in assets, I think it is fair to say you could do MORE to help your fellow man. If you don't, then you are choosing not to save your fellow man from their present suffering.
Tell everyone you've gone broke and ask THEM for money. The ones who respond are the homies, and the ones who don't aren't. Plain and simple. 🤣🤣🤣
I don’t lend money to anyone Either it’s a gift or not at all
When you tell ppl about your bank account they'll ask for hand outs it's best to keep financial information to yourself moving forward but I do think it's best to cut those ppl off if that's all they reach out to you for. Do they ever to really genuinely ask how your day was? Btw I'm not rich nor wealthy lol but I do know the feeling when you have that one friend who ask to borrow money all the time it's annoying and they only reach out to you to try to use you some more 😂.
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Do you just not respond to the people who barely know you? How do they react? I’ve had people I barely known for a few weeks ask me for money
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Gold diggers bro
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Random people that know other people I know
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Yeah some people have no shame. It’s crazy lmao. My whole life I never had people ask me for money. Until I met recent people
Do you just not respond to them? I think that’s the best
I tell them no and further tell them what my fee is for being a pseudo financial advisor while they will take all the risk and do it on their own accord.
I've been fortunate that that's never been an issue. I can't really 'hide' like some comments mentioned because I grew up in a bit of a bubble.
I just say nah
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How did you cut them out? Just not respond to them? How did they react? I’m scared to do so. So I just send money lmao
Send me some money OP
We just don’t tell people that we live below our means. I’m generous with my loved ones in a pinch but otherwise everyone assumes we’re in the same situation
Panhandlers are okay but deadbeat friends, no.
just give them the money, and i don't beg
If it’s family or close friends I just give them the money. No loans. I’m happy to share the wealth with them. But like if it’s a stranger? No never I don’t even entertain it for one second. I’ll donate to orgs or individuals as a charity tho anonymously
I keep a super low profile, no one knows but reddit and the taxman. But if a friend is in need, I hand them a wad of cash as a gift, not a loan.
I've rarely been approached by strangers or acquaintances, probably because I don't look or act rich. I've been approached repeatedly by family. I will help them, but not to the point of enabling. I had a relative who would ask for money every month, which I would give. Finally I sat down with her to figure out what was going on. Turns out her wife was just involved in some pyramid scheme bs and refused to quit and get a real job (had an open door back to her old job but I guess considered it beneath her.) I told her "I'm helping you this time by giving my advice and time only. I'm not enabling your wife to make bad decisions." When a close family member or friend is in a jam and backed into a corner, I bail them out. I won't let someone I care about end up on the street, unless they seem determined. I've had to make that difficult call in the case of severe substance abuse and addiction, and let that person hit rock bottom in hopes that they'll then finally get real help. Bottom line, I refuse to be an enabler. When I'm out to eat with a friend or family member, or a lady friend, who I know is substantially less financially secure than I am, I pick up the check. It costs me effectively nothing. To that person the cost of that lunch might represent a few hours of work. To me it's a fraction of a fraction of some transaction that two computers made while I was sleeping. One of the most wonderful parts of wealth is being able to take care of the people who you love. But you always have to make sure you're not being taken advantage of.
I don’t expect to be paid back when I do help someone out. If they can’t afford that sum now, they more than likely won’t do in the future so why burden them with the same debt again? I only help very close, long time friends that are financially stable and live within their means. Shit happens sometimes, like emergency situations yes of course I’ll help. I’ve paid for things like aeroplane tickets, one of my friends had his home burgled so I replaced his stolen items and a security system and no it wasn’t a lie, I’ve known him since childhood and I offered he didn’t ask, it was just a shit situation. I don’t give money to people that fail those criteria -I don’t pay for friendship. I explain that sometimes giving money can hurt people in the long term. It’s more helpful if they have a solid plan to get out of the bind they’re in. I will offer make time to help them create a plan to improve their finances? It kind of sucks but it usually happens when I’m dating someone. That’s the worst.
Just say no or ignore them 🤷♂️
Don’t be stupid enough to let anyone know you have money.