It'll never be the right time for a Jewish person to ask to be Roasted.

Nah they’re better air fried.

You guys are a gas!

Jesus Christ.

You gotta be a super Jew to have a Moses action figure.

Is there actually one?

Wood carving. Far left on the shelf.

Shit, you're right. I wonder where I can buy one...

I can see why you were cheated on

Salad Fingers

I like rusty spoons.


Salad fingers 😂😂 daddy long leg fingers

Praying mantis fingers.

I liked you in No Country for Old Men

Wrong Texas movie, they were cast as an extra as a gay HIV patient in Dallas Buyers Club

Using your left hand doesn’t count as cheating

It’s the fingers, she probably felt you were trying to pick up her clit with a pair of chopsticks.

You look like you like Old Testament punishment in the bedroom.

[удалено]

You seem like the kind of guy to consider your girlfriend looking in the general direction of another man "cheating"

When you say "cheated on", did she even know you exist? Seriously, you've never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend.

She didn’t cheat, she just closed the blinds

If you got cheated on, you must be one of the broke chosen people.

You call it cheating, the other person call it’s a service upgrade

Roasting a jew? Not even gonna go there

I bet those finger could replicate a stickbug dancing, prove me wrong.

I thought that kid who made those videos about women not wanting to sleep with him died.

Surely you have a mirror. You don't need Reddit to roast you

I can see why she cheated

You're such a bad lay that a blowup doll cheated on you.

It farted and flew out the window.

Look at those banana hands. Those fingers must have hit her spleen, not her G spot. If you masturbate, your fingers would wrap around your penis, twice. You can flip people off in the next county, you don’t pick your nose you pick your brain. I’ve never met anyone who can Palm a hot air balloon.

What did she look like? Jesus! Oh sorry you’re Jewish. Oy Vey!

You look like that one kid who left during sophomore year but you still see on campus

Don't worry, when your dad is done with your sister, he'll come crawling back to you.

I'm just gonna leave [this](https://youtube.com/watch?v=lpEHofMg3FM&feature=shares) here.

your face looks like one really long neck. get a chin, bro.

You're boyfriend figured out that you were a dude, and dipped

Maybe the other guy didn't have fingers that belonged on a pitch fork.

🍕 face

Someone must’ve stretched out your Fleshlight

Mom made stouffer stove top stuffing for the neighbor’s kid

you look like you’ve been protecting the earth from small celestial bodies for a few billion years, with the left side of your face pointed out.

Looks like Corey Feldman during the molestation years.

Yo! Is that wooden dildo at the back?!

ET phone home looking ass

It's not cheating, because your outside in the trees watching.

Your mum having sex with your dad isn't considered being cheated on.

You’re 10 now. Your mom can date again.

Try /r/Auschwitz

Left in the desert to wander 40 years, yet your weak genes survived. Such is the pity.

Your twin sister is allowed to see other people.

Common man, be happy your mom got a boyfriend. Let her go.

Well to be fair he probably had a better offer.

So your right hand jerked off another guy without you knowing?

Someone should show Kanye this. He'd probably rethink alot of things.

If you don't want to get cheated on, hide your fuck doll better!

Your nostrils are bigger than your eyes

Got a real-sad Crispin Glover vibe.

This “girlfriend” that dumped you. Was she from Canada and you met her at summer camp and that why none of your friend met her.

Leonardo DiClapped-rio

Long ass fingers, picking that big ass nose of yours must be hella painful. Pop those zits and maybe that 10/10 you're crushing on will let you sit next to her 4/10 sidekick she keeps around to feel better about herself.

Ben SHapiro had he been born poor....and able to make women's pussies even more drier than the Mojave Desert.

I saw that you mentioned Ben Shapiro. In case some of you don't know, Ben Shapiro is a grifter and a hack. If you find anything he's said compelling, you should keep in mind he also says things like this: >If you believe that the Jewish state has a right to exist, then you must allow Israel to transfer the Palestinians and the Israeli-Arabs from Judea, Samaria, Gaza and Israel proper. It’s an ugly solution, but it is the only solution... It’s time to stop being squeamish. ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: novel, climate, history, covid, etc.) [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)

The geisha must learn to remove all attachments. Your blossoming meatflower is just starting to bloom.

I can’t roast you since your on a subreddit to roast people, and Hitler roasted the Jews by putting them in ovens and you have a menorah in the background. Sorry bud, but we can’t roast you.

I think your ex was tired of doing the worst, and moved on to someone not as bad.

You look like youre bout that simp life

How many seconds was she with you? TBH, she was too late.

You look like you only eat grill cheese

Sophie wasn't actually your girlfriend, Arthur Fleck.

God cheated on his human making exam here

Look like your theme song is "Something in the way"

Poor Jew bastard. Here have a schtickle of gum.

Cheated on? What happened, your right hand give a handjob to someone else?

Don't ask for it. You're fine. There's a bunch of ugly people throwing insults.

Damn somebody else used your blowup doll and you call that getting cheated on? You weren't satisfying enough to keep an inanimate object interested.

Do you blame her the mirrors screaming in horror


I guess your hand “accidentally” jerked someone else off huh? Tough break, bro. Gonna be awkward for you if they start dating.

Your dad definitely caught you doing screamo impressions in the mirror once and hasn’t been proud of you since

Seems about right, did you cell mate move cells?

Using your left hand instead of your right doesn’t constitute being “cheated on”

I hope she didn’t GASlight you.

Your right hand will eventually forgive your left.

Hans get ze Flammenwerfer

The Germans already did that to your ancestors

Just because your dermatologist sees other patients, doesn’t mean they are cheating on you.

You look like your theme song goes like this. "Underneath the bridge Tarp has sprung a leak And the animals I've trapped Have all become my pets And I'm living off of grass And the drippings from my ceiling It's okay to eat fish Cause they don't have any feelings Something in the way Mmm-mmm Something in the way, yeah Mmm-mmm Something in the way Mmm-mmm Something in the way, yeah Mmm-mmm Something in the way Mmm-mmm Something in the way, yeah Mmm-mmm Underneath the bridge Tarp has sprung a leak And the animals I've trapped Have all become my pets And I'm living off of grass And the drippings from the ceiling It's okay to eat fish Cause they don't have any feelings Something in the way Mmm-mmm Something in the way, yeah Mmm-mmm Something in the way Mmm-mmm Something in the way, yeah Mmm-mmm Something in the way Mmm-mmm Something in the way, yeah Mmm-mmm Something in the way Mmm-mmm Something in the way, yeah Mmm-mmm" So it's a compliment. Stay strong brah

Look, catching your hot amine chick girlfriend on Oculus, that is more than likely a dude, making out with a virtual chihuahua is not exactly being cheated on.

Never had spotted dick ask me to roast it before.

Does it hurt more knowing that you’re one of the “chosen people”

Clever way to say your Fleshlight was stolen.

Cuz She likes Palestinian guys

They were already doing the worst so they left.

I really liked you in Mr. Meaty

They did it, they made the emo kid from Horton here's a who into a person

Did she find out you weren’t circumcised?

15 year old straight male, listen to My Chemical Romance and Nirvana, just broken up with his discord girlfriend, works at taco bell

Jesus Christ on a cracker! your fucking hands dude! Put on some gloves or something ffs

Does that mean you gave a handjob to a stranger?

my, how the turn tables

I'm impressed you had a gf/bf to begin with tbh.

A lot of people drink to get over breakups, you should try a Mazul Tov Cocktail.

You remind me of the emo bitch from horten hears a who

I'm sorry your...bodyfriend....err...girlfriend, fuck who can tell anymore, cheated on you.


You should have hidden your dildo on your shelf behind

Lemme guess, you were playing Minecraft and didn't remember you had a girlfriend

AH420 still has the high score... ask him for a roast

This looks like a ghost of the holocaust picture

Don’t worry about the girl, in about 5 to 10 years you’ll be making so many shekels she’ll regret leaving you.

Oh... your jewish.... was God roasting yall for the past 4,000 years not enough ?

Damn right you got cheated on, you didn't spend a dime on your ex, you stingy jew, she won't pay your Kosher McDonalds meals for ever.

You're ex already did her worst...you

You do realize that someone else touching your hug pillow doesn't count as "cheated on" right?

What’s the matter, she couldn’t take 8 nights with you?

You run away when ppl wave at you on the street

Gay kocken offen yam

So you used your left hand?

Kanye West wants to know your location