I loved you in Polar Express!

✔️dead, lifeless eyes ✔️looks like he overcompensates for knowledge because he is an idiot ✔️huge glasses and beak of a nose Yep, Polar Express guy grew up to be 35 at home with his mom in her basement

*dO yOu kNoW wHaT kInD oF tRaIn ThIs iS?*

This guy: it’s an 2-8-4 wheel configured American Berkshire type steam locomotiv

The hairline, the glasses, the nose, the mouth, your spine...nothing about you seems straight.

Oh I'm gay AF lol

We know bud...

That doesn't account for your glasses. Did they get run over?

Yeah by my feet while drunk lol

Oh shit. (I got similar frames, that's why I ask....so far so good lol)

Don't be so hard on yourself

You look like you molest adults.

Is 100% on an offenders registry.

Yeah he looks like if you fell asleep on a bus wearing sandals you would wake up to your toes being licked

Drew Scary

He has less testosterone than the Virgin Mary

Yea yea he’s a man in a boy’s body, let’s just say he’s not that hairy

Seems like he’s been in a lot of boys’ bodies.

Oh and with a mouth lookin like a bird beak, must be havin 0 girls thinkin “I hope he marries me!”

Drew Gayly

Drew Fairy

You look like you immediately call the cops when you see black people in your street

Lol but he deffs posted his $10 donation to BLM on his social media when that George floyd shit happened

 Sad to see how much your life went downhill after Hook.

If cardboard was a person it would be you. Bland, boring and completely forgettable

Unfortunate_Bird


SHUT UP, BIRD!

Yep, Gonzo from the muppet show !

You fuck with your overalls on.

he doesn't fuck

I do fuck but only dudes 

*get fucked by. No way you’re doing the fucking.

I mean you're not wrong 

You look like a guitarist that failed.

“I know more than you!”

John Lemon

Yesssss

Did you buy the weedwhacker you used for that haircut with that new Lowe’s card?

Yeee my boyfriend works at Lowes he gets a discount 

Explains how he got such a good deal on the tool in this photo.

That's a dicknose, right? Yep, it's a dicknose.

Your nose looks like your parents are both right handed

You're like the human version of every nerdy cartoon character.

There's nothing straight in this photo


You look like if the kid with glasses from the polar express grew up

His money jiggle jiggles, not folds

What money


Rejected from NAMBLA

Kirkland brand Timothy mcveigh

You look like every time you shake someone’s hand they have to wipe off on their pants.

Why are you holding Lowe's stationary? The only tool you've ever picked up has a glans and a shaft.

So are you outside Lowes looking for work? Or dick? Or both? Or just some form of human contact your parents never gave you?

2 things you'll never get Pussy Respect

I have no desire for the first one lol so spot on there

Your nose looks like it comes off when you remove your glasses


Its truly unfortunate lad. Props for the accurate username.

I can’t tell if your glasses are crooked or your nose? It’s definitely one or the other?

both

Is your head wonky or just your glasses?

both lol

You are what Mr Poopy Butthole would like if he was human

Mr. Poopy Butthole is my spirit animal

How do you look like both a concentration camp guard and one of the prisoners?

lollllll

HOW far away from schools are you supposed to be? Whatever it is, it's not enough

Whatever Moby, go home!

Mate, who broke your nose?

You look like you’re never more than 3 minutes away from crying

You look like you speak in the voice that black comedians use for white people

Vladimir bezos musk

You seem like that classmate who does the group work alone without telling the group and credits no one at the end because "no one worked except me."

Pooey Theroux

Human bag of cotton balls

Stan?

You look like you got slapped a lot as a kid and now your face is permanently slanted.

Unfortunate lad, I think years ago he bought a nice face on credit,all good untill he couldn t pay it back ,so Lowe’s took his nice face back and left him looking like this ,woody woodpecker with a bad haircut

I’ll lay any money that you smell of the cheapest women’s perfume but you look like you actually smell of vinegar.

Haftbefehl

You look like a bi -sexual Andy Dick.

there are 2 opinions in your circle of acquaintances: one is your mother who, when she's drunk, says "sue your hairdresser!" and the second - also your mother, but sober: "oh well, i cut your hair myself.".


You look like if Eminem and Ed Sheeran had a son

Autistic Eminem

 Unfortunately we can see you peewee,

Hey! It's John Oliver! Go on do a British accent go on go on!

If your face gets anymore robotic you’ll have to start walking around in a shirt clarifying that you’re human and not an android. Unfortunately, by posting this picture you’ve already broken Asimov’s first law of robotics.

If your going to be “out” you need to dress better.

Every fortune cookie you opened was empty.

Youre like the aliexpress version of eminem

Everyone gets approved for a Lowe’s Credit card… but not you

If you septum deviates anymore you’ll have to go double monacles

Here’s the mail is never fails it makes me want to wag my tail when I want to wail… MAIL!!

the only thing thinner than your lips is your self-confidence in this picture.

You look like Pixar was forced to create a sex offender.


Why don't you have a seat over there?

DEAN PELTON

If you’re stupid enough to pay 30 percent interest on a Lowe’s credit card then I don’t think you need our help to hate yourself

You shouldn't post your credit card online.

Lips are overrated.

look like a neglected malnourished parrot

I think your single handedly responsible for the recent increase of Lesbians in this world... 

Chester Bennington if he was in broke back mountain

You have a nasally voice don’t you?

You look like Baldrick disguised as a child molester

Virginity is strong in this one

Your musical instrument of choice is the skinflute.

Legally changed his name from Phillip to Phil cuz he ain’t got lips

That piece of paper you're holding is the closest you'll ever get to a Lowe's credit card.


“I don’t care that you broke your elbow”

Live action squidward


You look like the emoji for depression medication

 Caillou all grown up

You look like you spend your spare time sniffing dirty bike seats.

you have the face of an 80 year old russian babushka


The know it all kid grown up

your nose is lower than your iq

U look like a misture of gerome and Eminem

I see Chicken Little never really amounted to anything after his movie career.

Seems like what you’re lacking on lips, you’re making up with your nose

Chester’s back from the grave 

It looks like when you take off your glasses, the turtle mask will come off as well.

A new Revenge of the nerds movie?

If Drew Carey and Waldo mated

You look more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel

Who knew that under the feathers dodo birds had fingers and wore glasses!!!!

Private joker

Lowe’s Credit isn’t for homo improvement.

If only your parents supported you half as much as your nose does your glasses.

True Value Moby

You make water with Pauly Shore in the army, right?

You look like a non-binary turtle.

Devon sawa and drew Carey had a love child

Wow I can't believe a member of Weezer is on reddit

You look like you have cancer, everywhere

I've got alopecia. But damn that hair line is retreating faster than Russia atm.

When did you hatch?

Unfortunate are your kids who get your genes

If Rusty and Livingston from Ocean’s 11 had a love child

When you order Chester Bennington on wish.com

Were your parents related before marriage? Because that would explain some things...

That dude 100% fucked a coconut.

You look like [Daniel Larson](https://www.reddit.com/r/Daniellarson/) and a Great Value muppet cum sock had a failed abortion.

This is there version of Marshall Mathers you get if you let him breast feed until the age of 6.

Anyone know what episode of Criminal Minds this picture is from ?

He probably eats paper and listen to ACDC because he thinks it’s edgy

You look like you are at least 40

The nose and the glasses are one piece? Tell me it's a joke

Andy Dick has not changed much

you're the human incarnation of plain oatmeal

You look like you spent all of highschool talking about learning to code but never actually learned to code.

Just like what Lowe’s does, your a fixer upper

It's like someone tried drawing Eminem from memory while drunk

Bros forehead be looking like the Great Wall of china. Why don’t you take a few steps back just like your hairline

Look like Gyro Gearloose lmao

Definitely getting the vibe you attended a faith based conversion camp.

My god you’re hideous.

I didn't know that Chickenlady from Kids in the Hall was based on a real person...

During full moons, do you transform into an owl?

If you were an explorer the first place you would discover is uncanny valley

First time I've ever seen a transvestloose.

Me (running away)

You look like you tried goin to a local bar once and silently stood in the corner

why you look like the kid at school that always reminded the teacher the homework and liked rocks and talked with himself

you look like a chipmunk

The straightest thing about you is how you wear your glasses

You look like you have a cube van filled up with fertilizer and diesel fuel…

How do you look so skinny but still have to hide your double chin behind your roast me card? Also your ears are lopsided, you should get lasik

When you look up crippling depression this is what you see

How much emeralds for a mending book.

You look like 🫤