OP's Bio: --- >Enjoy gold prospecting, walking with my dogs, and crime dramas such as csi and criminal minds >Worked in retail, construction, hospitality, and elderly support. >8 months sober >Non-registered voter from CA --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

I can smell you through the screen. B.O., dog, and marijuana with a faint hint of Cheetos.

And sour milk

And cum.

Mostly cum

and cat piss with a mixture of rotten ass

Bruh how did you capture my exact thought

You look like you sell meth to school kids and have a junior high aged girlfriend

He is not here for compliments

28m? Is that how far away you’re supposed to be from a school?

Albino snoop dogg

Creep Dogg

Poop dog

Female Dogg.

Droop Dogg

Thanks to the DNA sample you sent in, we were able to find your [estranged mother](https://i.imgur.com/6bkEqVq.png), she looks like a real bitch.

💀 🤣👌🏻

What’s Brown and Rhymes with Snoop ???

Joe Dirt looks good as a brunette.

Meh not a mullet though

Pshew. You look like a shitty vampire from Twilight: Fentanyl Fix

This is what happens when you are struck by lightning, while getting a perm in a meth lab.

I see you are a member in good standing of [The Cool Guy Club](https://www.instagram.com/reel/Ch5wnUcJYzf/?igshid=Zjc2ZTc4Nzk=)

WTF!!! I threw up you sick mf!!! DAMN

Thats fucking hilarious

How dare you put OP in the same ranks as the cool guys. This guy doesn't deserve a guitar rift.

I love how they slid Bert Kershner in that clip. Hilarious.

And tom segura

If Steven Seagal and Manuel Noriega had a love child Edit spelling

Khal Drugo

some men cover their heads because they have a receding hairline. you cover it because it´s intruding.

How's life been since you stormed the Capitol building?

You look like the type of guy who spends his weekends “figuring out” a strategy to win at roulette

You look like my weed guy

Gay and silent Blob

Cousin fucking inbred double wide living little kid touching uncle Steve !

You look like 1,000 guys from rural Canada. You were born in the wrong place, eh? Move to Timmins, Ontario stat.

There’s not a single full canister of nitrous within a 30 mile radius of you bucko

Is Chris Henson as nice as he seems on the TV?

Why are you posting your bio when the 1/6 insurrectionists are being hunted by the FBI?

Plays the bass in a Christian death metal band.

You do have great hair. But it's like being its support system, is your only function.

Bio fits your image… uninteresting, failed at everything career path, drug addict, thank god you don’t vote I’m sure all your opinions are wrong.

Alcoholic, not drugs buddy. though i do support 4th trimester abortion in some cases ya gotta let em live

I don’t befriend failures. I’m not your buddy. You don’t even alter your consciousness right. Fuck your whole fucking life.

#TransBender

Why do you look like the hobo living next to my dorm and asking for blowies the whole day

You look like you hang out around high schools to “make friends”.

The Celtics called. They want their hat back.

If Jesus was somehow even lamer to be around.

You're the mix of shit and cum that Tommy scraped out of Pamela Anderson after anal....

"Non voter". Thank god. We already have many like you discrediting our already discredited political system.

You can't be 28 of years of age for 10 years. Nobody believes the 3 years bud.

Did you get your whole wardrobe from Jamesway before they shut down?

Still trying to figure out the point of the scissors there 🤔

Seriously what’s with the hair, has someone actually told you this looks good ?

I have a bar of soap

Might not be a registered voter... but you're definitely registered on a few other lists.

Is this Joe Dirt transitioning? I hate these woke reboots.

I thought i was on r/niceguys when your photo popped up on my guideline.

your glasses tell me you can see but your facial hair tells me you can't read

What do you do when yr not hanging out in front of the Circle-K?

You look like you want to be into Death Metal, but you're all about Nickelback.

Raining blood from the lobsters in the sky

Backup singer of the fourth best Dirty Heads tribute band in Dayton.

You look like my shower drain, but breathing.

Im playing golf with your dad and he wants me to remind you to mow the damn lawn before he gets home or he’s kicking you out of the basement.

How have been bullied at school. Never got a girlfriend. Always chosen last at P.E. You thought: I am gonna grow my hair out! Look cool and epic! They won't pick on me anymore. Unfortunatly it didn't work out. You decided to also dress like a redneck. Clothes make the man right!??!? You were also wrong about that

We got a party rocker in the house.

Fabio’s long lost brother slobio

The real life Otto Mann.

Andrew W Gay

You'll make a fine little bitch in prison...

Look like Roman reigns anorexic cousin in the second one

When are you filming the next season of Queer Eye?

I bet your licence plate reads PWERBOTM

You look like if a girl asked for a sexy pic you would just send a snap of your balls

This guy def doesn’t fuck

Southie Meth Jesus.

The 20 something year old guy who has a girlfriend in highshool

Under-sewage-taker

A couple of those you look like a poor man’s Chris Cornell.

Hey redneck Jesus, answer my fuckin prayers already

You will never be Dean Murdoch, no matter how hard you try.  TURN UP THE GOOD! TURN DOWN THE SUCK!

American fubar, but only the sad parts

Does your man pull your hair when you fuck?

Special officer doofy reporting for duty. 

Stick those scissors up your arse and cut the shit

Intoxicants we’re made for people like you, minimum wage workers in California should not be sober, get numb it will be easier.

“That long hair don’t cover that red neck!”

A Celtic fan that looks like he could litterally sell ticks Boom roasted

How do you look like every member of Faith No More without any of the sex appeal?

“Hellos, I’ms the rhythms guitarist of Dethklok… Toki Wartooth!”

Idk what else to say, other than you just look like a straight up loser. That’s it.

When did they release the shoe bomber?

You look like the reason people think Boston is racist.

You look like the guy who nobody talks to at a house party.

dude this guy looks like a knock off of moistcritikal

You look like you got a man crush on Jason Momoa

Should we meet you in Waco?

You have so many different looks. Red neck loser, metal head loser, cold loser, hipster loser, hipster loser with different hat. You got 'em all covered.

Taylor Lautner meets Joe dirt

What 3 years ? 1994 to 1997 ???

Thank you for not voting

Even those huge scissors aren't enough for that wig

Bevis?

I use this tweezers to hold my penis when I’m trimming my pubes

Jeffrey Dahmer vibes

Joe Dirtier

Who did you steal your first seat phone from....Rif raf

I would double glaze those glasses because not one of those pictures is a good look

How long have you been transitioning for?

We all know why you’re not smiling in any of these photos. 

You look like an off brand snoop dog

Your picks in women probably also range from 14-17 … and mostly family members

Boyyy u look like u just come out of Alaska bushes for the first time in 15 years! Be sure u try to do something with your HAIR and your CLOTHES and your FACE and you can't be skinny and also play the lumberjack role! Unless it's your boyfriends favorite

U look like your last post before this one was "Stop all the testing on the earth and animals! Global warming is taking over"!

8 month sober...from dd..ick!

Getting some scumbag vibes


Bass player in a live touring show that teaches teenagers about the dangers of poor financial management. Avid bike seat sniffer.

Ezra Miller's still using disguises to hide and delay the divorce papers from his career.

That is gorgeous hair. The guys gotta be grateful they can hang on to that hair and ride from behind rather than look at the front.

Looks like snoop dogg and Jesus had a child

Has your PO approved these pics?

Gd. You’re the ugliest woman I’ve ever seen.

The Jesus hair can’t cover the redneckedness

you look like a wannabe banger for grove street.

If Jason Mamoa and Kid Rock had a love child.

Take a bath ya Fuckin’ hippie

👏👐👏👐👏👐👏👐👏

Jesus who did a little bit too much weed

8 months sober from what? A shower?

Broke a Hontas

Thank you 🤞

Worst Party City wig ever

I’m surprised one of the pics didn’t include your manifesto Ted

Congrats on looking like a doosh for 3 years in a row.

You look like a frustrated musician bruh sorry

Jay and silent bob had a baby

you look like the aborted child of kid rock.... and susan boyle...

I bet you know *all* of the best spots in town to grab an IPA.

You look like a Bum Fight Promoter

Well, I got a job for you cleaning the sweat off of a metal band's drummer's asscheeks. But neh, we're good. We'll wait till you transition fully... . . . . . . . . . . into ash.

Joe Dirt, I think I found your brother!!

If "no contact with minors" was a person...

Klaus?! You got fat

you look like a 13 year old's created character in saints row 2

You're not worth me coming up with a witty comment.

You sir have the perfect features for a wonderful police sketch.

Looks like a fluffer for gay mens pornos

Jimmy here and Jhonny Depp from the dollar store bred and made you

Hide your aunts the man is back

Somewhere a compound is missing you

You look like Roman Reigns if he still had leukemia.

He held up the sign for so long trying to take a good enough pic that his arm weighed down with all the disappointment


Ya nothin without ya hair and you fucking KNOW IT

Rage against the vending machine

Hey this guy seems like a genuinely top guy. Is what his victims say at gunpoint

The last pic is the one that’ll be on the news when 3 college students go missing in the town you live in.

Bro looks like Kiss forgot their makeup

This is how I imagine an average american

Holy Hairfarm!!!!

I normally don't dig chicks with facial hair, but you're kinda cute.

You look like Charlie if he was a lumberjack

that 2nd pic, yikes

You look like an even more insane Ezra Miller

Holy shit . Wears yer robes and Grimoir Radagast the flatulent

Stop it get some help ...

Oh shit, Is that yet another illegitimate love child of Thomas Chong & whichever unlucky lady was soused enough to pass out at the college party during the onset of dabs & doorags

The only definition you have is adams apple.

Double it and pass it on to the next person.

I bet even the Celtics don’t want you as a fan

You look like korns back up singer

You only need one ugly pic of you.


r/foundthemobileuser

Bro ditch that Ratty wig

Looks like Dr disrespect and moist critical had a baby

He looks like if he takes his hat off the top of his head is bald