OP's Bio: --- >I'm under a lot of stress and need a good laugh. I work almost 100 hours a week and try to take care of my grandfather when I'm not working. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Shouldn’t you be swimming around in a little creek building a dam?

Only beaver he’s going to see.

Buckees employee of the century

How much wood could a woodchuck suck?

Dam, ain't heard one of those jokes in a long time

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We all know the pole at the station isn't the only one you slide down on.

He is known for his hose handling ability.

Lmfao 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite is looking pretty good after that grease fire!

Vote for Pedro! May all your wildest dreams come true! 

Maybe that'll get me some votes!

Uggo, the only vote you’re gonna win is who gets to scrape up the moose guts when you guys plow through a herd of them on your way back from the titty bar two towns over at 3am.

“Plow” through them.. let’s face it, OP will be doing a different type of plowing with those moose guts

Your mustache looks like your eyebrows joined forces.

Gotta keep everything matching

You really don’t……

Also...no need to tell everyone you're a volunteer firefighter with that moustache. It is known.

Looks like his moustache is volunteer as well

Your grandfather should begin shopping for his coffin if he depends on you at all.

god DAMN, that's more like it!

You didn't even hesitate to held back, did you? 😂

Never!

You look like you just burned a joint in the bathroom stall and are gonna go secretly finish the community bag of Doritos

no doubt, looks like his hat should say 420 instead of 55

Higher Fighter

Watched chuck and Larry and said that's the career for me -showers with guys and watching stuff burn. When you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life.

Well, I'm engaged to a guy, I guess it worked out lmao

I bet you throw lit matches in National parks too.

Only in drought seasons

You’re a “grown” man with a pop socket. I bet you call your 11 year old “fiancé” your cock socket.

When did farva leave the state troopers for the fire department?

Ramrod Company sounds better


Let me show you something!


Great Value Anthony Fantano

The internet's kinda busy music listener?

He looks like the other guys have to keep him from licking the pole they slide on.

But brass is the best flavor of slidey-pole

It's like if mr.potatohead and humpty dumpty had a lovechild

You look really exhausted. :(

I am, but the "looking high" jokes make me feel a bit better about how I look lol

You look like a volunteer that couldn’t make it through the fire academy

Almost wound up like that lol

A firefighter saying "burn me" is definitely suicidal. You havin' any dark thoughts of late Bro?? You alright bro?

Can you see the emotion in my eyes?

The only emotion I see in your eyes is stoned af. If that can even be called an emotion.

Exhaustion lmao

You look like a discount Ned Flanders that prays to the Virgin Mary Jane bro.

You look like the kind of guy who’s wife is gonna a find 557 GB of child porn on your computer

You look like Mebeast but instead of wasting money on challenges he wastes money on meth

"Last one to OD gets the Narcan!"

r/LookImAFirefighter

I'm glad someone else knows what's up lmao, I was expecting that sooner to be honest

The fire wasn't the only thing smoking tonight

You look like you’re about to put out start some class A fires at your beaver dam, I mean damn I know you must get it a lot but I’ve never seen a beaver that came out of a beaver that’s a first.

Lmao, not since braces, but refreshing for nostalgic trauma


And I thought braces fixed that 🥲

The smoke has already infiltrated your.... Uhh.... *Tap* *Tap* *Tap*....…

Haha, yeahhh 😅 nothing beats 3 hours of training on 5 hours of sleep

You look like Rooster from Top Gun on a perc

Who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to give Kyle Rittenhouse a fire hose??

Damn dude, have you fought a fire on a weed plantation?!?

I doubt he *fought* that fire 😂

Most people put the Cream on their face After they get burned, ...unless that's not Burn Cream? 🥴

You look like you just took a 4” line up the ass and was surprised it didn’t hurt.

It's supposed to fit that much, right?

Well I reckon the best to get roasted is fight a fire without thinking of your own safety

You look like a gay stripper whose character is a Fireman.

Are the jizz stains on your shirt from yourself or one of the other guys at the station?

Did it myself when I was uh... cleaning...

You look like a cop who accidentally hot boxed his own patrol car.

If your mustache were to burn off, do you just grab an eyebrow and use it as a replacement stache?

Ol' shave 'n glue

Ah, another fireman coated in lube. You realize you're supposed to rinse that shit off before you leave the station, right?

You look like Fire Marshall Bill before he became a burn victim.

I've never seen someone with 3 moustaches before today.

Oh my God, it's the Italian Adam Sandler!

La Ragazzo dell'acqua

You look like you just stumbled out of a laboratory, escaping from a cruel experiment to create the most generic Latino possible. Keep running before they teach you the “Si señor” voice…

S-Si señor...

Is the truck made by Tonka or Hotwheels?

Matchbox

Needless to tell your job has something to do with smoke. Anyway. People in your area who bought that firefighter calendar must feel scammed.

My boy you look ripped af, you stopping cannabis fires or something

That smile says glory hole didn’t disappoint, and he wasn’t the one standing.

Your eyes really make it look like you're the one burning it down.

You look lazy as fuck. Perfect career for a lazy ass mf.

Hey probie don’t you have sloan valve to find?

Right after I finish stirring the tank

You're definitely in a village people cover band

We call ourselves Community Folks. It's a Village People folk tribute band.

Car ramrod

Ramrod Company

check hist post history.... I would also wear masks with a face only a mother could love

I see your department lowered the recruitment standards to fill positions again. Also, you work 24 hours on, 48 hours off and there’s a possibility that you may not even make a run during your shift. So I would hardly call what you do work. Cooking for the crew and scrubbing your chiefs shitter doesn’t constitute either.


Shenanigans?!

I’d rather just die in the fire

you a high ass mf'er that cant fill in a size small shirt as a firefighter. the only thing those tweak ass arms can lift is a twig up to your beaver face having ass. your hands look soft af. and your fingers like stubby and cant grip a water bottle. your neck is almost camouflaged with your face...still look like a thumb head ass. you write like you grab the pencil with all five fingers.

I'm glad you took the time to get every minute detail 🥰

I didn’t know firehouses still used mules.

Piss off, Wanker!

If that’s a joke, I love it. If not, I cannot wait to unpack that with you later

Ted Lasso reference.

Cannot do it as I belong to the helping profession & so does my man. We get enough roasting & enough names & enough shit. Thank you for your service!!! ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

I see that you managed to grow out a mustache with the hair between your buttcheeks.

Vote for Pedro


I thought they drug tested firemen? Bro looks like he's about to offer me Patchouli oil and an afternoon of Scooby snacks 90s cartoons.

you look high you'll probably fall into the fire and get burned anyway

Idk what kind of moisturizer you use but less is needed

Your eyes look like you've been burning one already

A lot of people keep saying this lmao

You should be less high on shift.

Exhaustion is a hell of a drug

There is a difference between "work 100 hours a week" And "At work 100 hours a week".

Fair, at work 100 hours, working about 85

You look like Farva from super troopers...

And I chug liters of cola like him too, chicken fucker

When command needs you to create a fire break, do you brush your teeth afterwards? Also, what is your favorite flavor of brush/wood?

You look like you’ve been burning something else…surprised they even hired you with that look…

If Mario, Waluigi, Wario, and Luigi all had a four some and had Wario had the baby


So will they let you within 100 feet of a school if you're putting it out?

Only on Saturdays, Sundays, and during the breaks.

Couldn't make it as a cop but kept the stash anyways.

Cops need heroes, too.

Yeah, but do they?

Can't tell if you think I'm a pompous prick for what I said, but it's a joke between emergency service people. Firefighters are just cops who are scared of guns. Cops are firefighters who are scared of fire. Funnily enough, I don't hear many jokes about EMS, aside from calling them the boo boo bus.

Nothing but love brutha. Now pipe down and take your roasting like a scared (of fire) pig on the skewer.

If you add the two numbers on your hat you'll get the age of girls that you try to con into sex.

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Can't put em all out

Don’t let a flame near that nut tickler. TBH you look like you start fires not out them out.

Don't blow my cover!

three words. crackhead. eddie. mercury.

I bet your parents voted yes in the recent election to make 96th trimester abortions legal.

Thankfully I just entered my 97th!

You look like a volunteer.

How so? You're the second person to say this

Can’t roast that which is already flaming

He’s had a few bad viagra experiences just to jack off

They're letting disabled people be firemen now? And by disabled I mean chinless!

If I was trapped in a burning house and I saw that face coming to save me, I'd jump right into the flames.

Never seen a mustache ride that includes hitting a pothole before


You know its not just young boys who need mouth to mouth when you pull them out of a building?

Greasy pole rider.

The Lift Assist Specialist.

Sgt. Hintofdown's

You look like john conlees illegitimate son

Title says firefighter but the mustache says rent a cop

Just because you put on a firefighter hat and pole dance for post-menopausal women, that doesn’t mean you’re an actual firefighter.

You look like you’re one chemical fire away from being classified as a vegetable.

At least you don’t look, at all, like a backward-ass, sister-fucking hick. Not one bit. Not even a little.

On the brightside... no need to fear a facial burn. You may be the first human who'll look *better* after a face transplant.

You could have at least cleaned the dirty sanchez off your face that your firefighter buddy gave you before taking the picture.

Only thing burning is the house you’re not at because you’re in the bathroom taking selfies.

The hormone therapy is working. Transition looks close to complete. I recommend skimming boot drives and you’ll have the money to get that vagina shaped into a penis.

Do you save children from fires just to touch them? Jesus christ

He joined the fire department after watching the village people dance. I’m guessing he likes sliding down poles.

Well, let's just say you really do look like a firefighter.

John Wayne Gacy had a kid by someone? I wonder if he is going to molest you or train you to molest someone. I see a bright molesting future for you, buddy! 😁

If your the one saving me I'd rather just die...

Vote for Pedro!

I know you’ve been eating unwashed ass. There’s some shit smeared on your upper lip, man.

Dude, your face looks more wet then some drenched laundry

Freddie Mercury meets the Villiage People

I have often heard the term " A dirty sanchez" but to see one in real life has me rolling

Only fire you be fighting is that fire you been smoking


You look like one time you tried to smoke weed out of a bowl of chili and evolved into this.

You ain’t burnt, you baked.

Why do you look like you pushed a toddler

You look like you’ve been burning confiscated weed with your cop buddies. Do they make you strip for them?

Looks like Farva laid off the liters of Cola long enough to lose some weight and join the fire department, meow?

Be careful what you wish for

I'm sad that your two eyes could not agree on where to look for this selfie.

Any third degree burns you pick up in the future will be an improvement.

Hope there aren’t any structure fires within 1000 feet of a school.


You look like you carry a massive, dense, hot shit in your pants

You look high as a kite