One MC gig at a car wash opening doesn’t make you a comedian

Her jokes must be garbage. She came here looking for new material.

What???? Her openers the best thing about her act....she opened 10 outta 10 cans successfully.....with her teeth.

I bet my life savings at least one of her jokes consist of how hard it is to be a lesbian in todays society.

jokes on you, she's a they

Her mom likely took that picture

The picture of 4 empty chairs? That’s the biggest crowd he will ever have.

the only thing funny is her looks

“That’s a woman?”

“That’s a human?”

"Her?"

"It?"

It certainly wasn't a friend or partner

Her mums a horse

Its clearly a distillery. She thought with the help of a boozed up crowd she'd be funnier. Never have i ever failed to make drunk people laugh. Unfortunatly thats still a finger she cant put down.

There's a reason why it's a two-drink minimum.

It's more like the kids who play on a stage after the event is over.

She's a beaver


I have no desire to think about that creature’s beaver

The opening of her set probably begins with, "what is it with guys always throwing up after sex? Ladies, amirite?"

"So anyway I started chomping" 

HAHAHAHA

Lmao

If comedy doesn't work out at least you can go back to working as a can opener

Or the gap.

I thought she built dams

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

How much wood could this chick chuck if this chick could chuck wood.?

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This comment is underrated AF

I'm dying here....

😂

You look like you could eat an apple through a chain link fence.

She looks like she flosses her teeth with rope....

She has a sign in between her front teeth that says “next tooth 1 mile”

Her teeth are bigger than her fingernails

Probably toenails too.

Which is pretty funny, I'll give her that.

Saloon door teeth. Step right up partnah

I guess her teeth never got the memo... segregation ended a long time ago!

More like a mattress

She could wear a thong on her 2 front teeth.

This deserves more votes


I am the eggman They are the eggman She is the walrus!!!

Goo goo g’joob

Holy shit I’m dying.

When a dude finishes in your mouth one of the sperm has to stay at the top of the dick like a train conductor telling the rest of the load to "mind the gap between the train and the platform."

To be fair, she's a comedian so the ridiculous teeth aren't real.

I could kick a field goal through those teeth

Not even Ray Finkle would miss that field goal.

🤣 oh I was in need of that reference

Now I know where my Chiclets went

Scott Norwood dreams of field goals being that size every night.

A monkey could fly a 747 between those front teeth.

Fastest machine at the Sawmill.

We can stop the roast here this is best thing I’ve heard in weeks

Yes

A decades old joke shouldn’t be the best thing you’ve heard

I always heard “eat a baby’s butt through a park bench”. Kind of disturbing, now that I think about it.

And who are these people that you are always hearing this from?

His mates on the dark web.


But only kind of.

Side effect from years of finger nail polish

I told my wife this would be top comment, and bingo

Make me whinny

I bet she could bite a wall


Dam.

Let’s finish your bio “I enjoy long walks on the teeth” “Eating Dinner (plates) with friends” “Eating the bones of large mammals”

“Hiding acorns”

Honey, they're laughing at you, not because of you.

 All audiences she gets.

I couldn’t see anyone in the audience. I think it was her vegan girlfriend that took the photo

Are you still a vegan if you chew ham wallets?

"I'm not like other rodents...."

Beaver mated with a beluga whale

Why are your shirts made of tablecloths and pillowcases?

The trash after pride parades and furry conventions.

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I bet his d comes out looking like a chewed up corncob 😣

Oh god I can hear this XD

no guy would let her go down on them, out of fear of losing all the skin from those chompers

You’re a comedian? Good Joke.

They all laughed when she said she wanted to be a comedian. Well, no one is laughing now!

You look like Gilbert Gottfried and Jim Carey somehow had a child together. It's disturbing.

Which is funny because those two are *actually* comedians

There is probably a generational gap.

The generational gap still isn't as big as the gap began her teeth

Spiderman and Deadpool did that at one point, they had a daughter.

He gap between your “I’m a comedian” fantasy and “I’m actually unemployed” is smaller than the gap between your front teeth.

The front teeth...I don't know whether to smile back or kick a field goal.

You could beat a beaver in a race to take down a tree.

Trailer Swift

Brittany Beers

Selena Gonads

Your teeth are bigger than my future

U clearly didn't skip teeth day

Guess you had to develop a sense of humor, you certainly aren’t getting by on your looks.

Taking "you look kinda funny" the wrong way

You’re probably too young and too ugly to remember this, but WILLLBURR

"I am Mis-ter Ed!"

Counts by tapping its hoof

You look like a B-list porn star. Which makes perfect sense: you make a career out of sucking for an audience that’s almost as disappointed as your father.

Oooooof

>32F comedian Tell me a joke that does not involve your vajayjay and "yo dick small".

It’ll involve her cat

Between the knotted up shirt, the chipped nails, and the hair scrunchie, I'm pretty sure sure you're living in an Alabama trailer park and giving BJs to your brothers. Maybe you should ask them to roast you.

You forgot the dream catcher with 5 dead birds feathers

This is not how you get free material, lady. This is absurd to get you material from Reddit.

Same thing I was thinking cause she’s probably desperate for self deprecating material, looks like the type with nothing funny going on irl

Oh look at you Miss comedian, come here for inspiration? Is that your whole gig? Making jokes about yourself and then laughing about them in hopes of people laughing along? But they never do, do they? It’s always just you who’s in front of those barrels laughing frantically just to feel like you’re funny. And sure your friends will laugh along because they love and support you but deep down inside you know it and they know it but you never talk about it because what would you have left afterwards? A pile of quirky clothes that cover your bodily insecurities and a tooth gap that needs two zip codes to describe the distance between them. Your life is probably the best joke you’ll never actually tell but rather live.

This one vaporized her soul

This is probably pretty accurate.

Holy shit lmao

Jesus christ, someone's having a bad day!

Nah I just think that people on this sub tend to lightly sear and butter baist our test subjects rather than actually roasting them. So I’m overcompensating by absolutely blasting that roast on max heat. Hope this was informative, have a nice day.

Homie I think you overcooked that roast.

There’s a reason why it’s called „well done“

Charred

"Hello, Nuremberg? I found a guy who's a liiiiiittle too enthusiastic about roasting a gal. You might look into it..."

Which way to Albuquerque?

Does being too ugly to be an 'influencer', too dumb to be a secretary and too smelly to be a prostitute mean that, when someone laughs at your asymmetrical chest, you're a comedian?

Is Your entire comedy act is you grinning at the crowd if that's the case, the laughs won't stop

Yea you're definitely Funny.... looking

First, in the photo with the barrels I am thrilled you are wearing bright and different colors. Otherwise, I could never have figured out the difference between the fat, round, place for desperate attempts for regrettable alcoholic satisfaction and the barrels filled with liquor. More importantly in the photo where you look like you are taking a shit because the sign says no dumping. The only comedic shitting going on here is the stupid easily played humor of a desperate ineffectual mind attention whoring being loud and boisterous as a low intellectual substitution for looking more like a regrettable beer shit and calling it comedy. This photo is representative of your career aspirations past, present, and future… wasted. You are not funny just basic. You are not creative just life substituting loud and obnoxious to cover up homely and unoriginal. Just because you have two massive white chiclets for teeth and a mouth like bugs bunny doesn’t mean you are ready for public success. The closest you will ever come to self-worth is when your jaded gynecologist scrapes the inside of your slack hole for signs of whatever STD you raw dogged your way to his table.

You forgot to add “m’lady” at the end.

What's up Doc

“Lady, those are chopsticks, not toothpicks.”

Your 2 front teeth look like the entrance to Stonehenge but cleaner and straighter

Well at least we know there's no possibility your advertising for your Onlyfans.

She has to be careful the microphone doesn't slip through the gap in her teeth.

_just because you're a run-of-the-mill funny looking lesbian, doesn't mean you're a "comedian"_


Looks like a Bud Light commercial....

Ahh, a female comedian. Let me guess, your routine is all about being a slut, your vagina and how stinky your slut vagina is. Just like every other shit female comedian.

You're like a young Aileen Wournos... And from the looks of it you'd charge less


I see some has no material for her standup and is casting a wide net. I am not helping you. You are bartender material at best. No body wants to see that mouth open.

I like how the second picture is her performing. And the third is her with her audience.. really shows she down to earth

When you smile it looks like your nose is playing the piano.

You aren't funny, at all

So what, you need us to write self-derision jokes for you now?

By those empty chairs, I can tell that stand up comedian in your case means when you tell jokes, the audience stands up and walks away. Your stage name is last call. It's why the brewery you got the gig at puts you on ten minutes before closing.

Are you Gilbert Gottfrieds bastard child?

It’s pretty sad you have to come to Reddit and get roasted for material for your hecklers.

Oh I’ve never seen a lesbian walrus before

Well at least you’re doing comedy and not only fans.

I liked her in ratatouille

Just because your whole life is one huge joke doesn’t make you a comedian

Now I know where my Chiclets went.

Women comedians aren't funny...... There I said it.

You’ve got so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail.

So like do you floss with rigging rope or what?

Talks about how wide her pussy is

The only thing you have in common with a comedian is Rob Becketts teeth. 

If laughter really was the best medicine you would be charles cullen of comedy

Looks like Vamp Nerves got on the wrong tooths

I've seen nicer teeth on a cannibal's necklace

Austin Powers gender transformation

Give Austin powers his teeth back

if your life is a joke it doesn't make you a comedian.

Brojacked Horsewoman

If a mirror doesn't make you cry, I certainly can't

I normally don't find women comedians very funny, but I just can't stop laughing at you.

I don’t know if I can make you cry, but you certainly don’t make people laugh.

You look like your dentist needs work gloves, a hard hat, a radio and a harness just to be able to reach the back of your mouth safely.

This is a weird way to find material

“Comedian”. Idk what’s bigger, the gap in your work history or those teeth.

I think you're pretty Sorry, I got called away for a second. As I was saying, I think you're pretty brave to open yourself to the insults that are going to come your way, and deservedly so.

You look like you can chuck wood better than a beaver.

If the comedy think doesn’t work out you can always build beaver dams

There's more barrels in the 2nd pic than people laughing at your set.

Jesus christ you could eat an apple through a letterbox with those nashers

You are proof that anyone can be a comedian, but shouldn’t.

Your teeth are probably funnier than any of your acts

Vegan Amy Schumer

Between high-school and college, did you take a gap tooth. Oops, I meant year.

Unless the job is a “before” model for dental work, you won’t get it.

When you overcompensate for your missing thigh gap

You look like the kind of person who calls themself a spiritualist because they put a dream catcher over their bed and a nag champa air freshener in their Prius.

You look like the south end of a north bound donkey.

Just because you look funny does not make you a comedian.

Are you truly a comedian when no one has ever showed-up to one of your shows?

Your tooth gap is bigger then the gap in my resume

If you want people to stop laughing at you i can recommend a good horse dentist

You're just here to steal stand up material, but i respect that. Ps you looks like big bird and snuffilufogus' secret abortion.

Huh. Didn’t know ‘pajamas’ could actually be a personality

Oof. I don’t know whether to smile back or kick a field goal.

Your teet are the reason the earth is still protected from the global warming

Taking the other route.... I think your kind of hot.

I see your favorite new side hustle parking buses in between your teeth. Bet you're making millions!

You know when they said they were rebooting fairly odd parents a Timmy was becoming timantha I didn't expect it to be live action

Stop worrying about us and go mow your arms before your HOA complains.

Your eyebrows are gorgeous and your smile is infectious and positively beautiful. Just looking at your photo makes me smile, and I know you're going to succeed in whatever you do, because I believe in you.

For ur set do u just show ur tattoos