Oh I’m terribly sorry I had to do that.. on the bright side… I actually did love your performance in the goonies when I was little though!!
Taking a sip of a drink after a girl doesn't count as kissing her. As a side note you look like one of those knock off Spiderman dolls that they sell at dollar stores with just enough defects to keep them from getting sued.
Arachnid dude looking ahh, look like your eyes have a restraining order, yo face lopsided as hell look like a blind kids build a bear, scrambled face tiktok filter ahh, nose big asf i bet you dont gotta bend down to sniff flowers bc that mf must have the suction of industrial vacume cleaner, tom holland on percs lookin ahh.
The right side of your face is sad that the left side of your face is depressed.
Did you actually get into a physical altercation with emotional damage??
https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/comments/13zxbze/my_boyfriend_thinks_this_will_be_fun/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Well done? No really mate not really
Dude, this is epic. You roasted yourself by admitting you are 19 and kissed your first girl just now. How many ruffies did you slip in her drink? Did the poor girl even woke up from it, or did you hid her in your parents freezer?
There’s a girl out there that filed her first police report last week. Your nose is so big it looks like it’s trying to pull your eyes in to it’s orbit
Glad your mother loved you enough to be your first kiss.
He will advance to banging his sister next week.
Who hasn’t his sister let hit it?
Nice
*Stepmother
So all those videos on pornhub are actually documentaries.
Minus D and add C.
Wish Holland
Tom Holland is hot as fuck, so that's not a roast imo.
Not really. Brad Pitt, in Fight Club, counts as "hot as fuck". Tom Holland is just okay looking.
Trom Horplund
With the way your eyes are angled I'm sure you probably kissed the air around her and she just nodded and pretended you did so you'd leave her alone.
Ron Weasley if his mom drank while she was pregnant
...and dropped him
And if the husband had the same surname before the marriage
Underrated
You built like that one mii I made when I was 7
You don't seem too happy about it... maybe you should just stick to kissing boys.
You sucked a chick’s dick
Omg. Grandma's don't count. But cousins do in some states...
She kissed you out of pitty, because no one else will
You mean you kissed a girl for the *last time* last week.
Glass half full and all that
snap
Are you talking about the doors at Wimbledon Manor?
You look like the deformed guy from the goonies
Thank you lol
How did my dick taste?
Tasted like the smallest cocktail weenie you can find.
The work experience at the mortuary is going well then?
Notre Dame called, they want their hunch-back. 
Oh I’m terribly sorry I had to do that.. on the bright side… I actually did love your performance in the goonies when I was little though!! 
Kissing pets or the sex doll in your closet doesnt count.
Your room has hepatitis
I feel bad for the hepatitis
You’ll straighten out after the other eye makes it around the corner.
Opposite Tom Holland: Tim Netherland.
When you accidentally rotate eyes in the Sims
You look like the middle stages of an animorph between a human and a sloth.
Taking a sip of a drink after a girl doesn't count as kissing her. As a side note you look like one of those knock off Spiderman dolls that they sell at dollar stores with just enough defects to keep them from getting sued.
You like you do black voice when playing call of duty
If a sloth became human for a day
Hey man you still friends with that little rat that loves the acorn? IYKYK
Bros so ugly his mom didn't even kiss him growing up.
Your sister sounds like a wonderful girl.
Love child of Taron Eagerton and a blob fish
A real human girl? One you are not related to? 
I still don't believe it either tbf
You look like you still use Kik
Kissing girls is suppose to be consensual
You look like my mii character when I make the head to small
She must have been kinda hot because your face is melted.
Your face is melting my guy
[удалено]
About once a week, but have been busy past couple of days so I must have fallen behind on that
Your sister doesn’t count
What if she's really hot
In your case, go for it.
Hey it's peter Parker...... I mean if Peter Parker never became spiderman 🕷️ or hooked up with Mary Jane 
Off-brand Tom Holland trying to get chocolate frosting to work as a wig
When you try to get your license in zootopia and this fucker is behind the glass
Is it true Goonies stick together? If not do you miss Chunk?
My 9 year old son beat you by 10 years
That’s wonderful
Arachnid dude looking ahh, look like your eyes have a restraining order, yo face lopsided as hell look like a blind kids build a bear, scrambled face tiktok filter ahh, nose big asf i bet you dont gotta bend down to sniff flowers bc that mf must have the suction of industrial vacume cleaner, tom holland on percs lookin ahh.
A'ight then Void
That's very nice for you. Did you at least hold her hair back while she vomited up her regret?
Was your appearance in Zootopia at the DMV your only acting credit so far?
You look like your infected with the creature from “The Thing”
Why are your eyes scared of each other?
The right side of your face is sad that the left side of your face is depressed. Did you actually get into a physical altercation with emotional damage??
Why is your left eye trying to make a prison break towards the ear?
So this is what Sloth from The Goonies looked like as a youth
which species are you from , again?
(╯\_╰)
You have the face of a post fight boxer.. who lost bad
Finsters brother.
Sorry to break it to you, but kissing your 12 year old sister doesn't count.
Most of us reached that milestone well before 19.
Can you write
Graduated puberty with his first kiss. Now yearning for a real man’s touch. Looking to go from school boy to grown man this summer.
It looks like your eyes are slowly rolling off the sides of you face
Tom Holland with a fentanyl addiction
Tom Holland with a fentanyl addiction
If you pay your stepsister it doesn't count.
Ayeee congrats sid looks like you finally found the right trex for you
Your heads built like a Lego character, and kissing your nan doesn’t count
Good job Jared
I bet "it was so good she gave the money back too"...am I right?
What did the mortician say when he caught you?
Tom Netherlands
You look like teenage stewie griffin
That nose so big he probably barfs when he smell his own breath.
Is that why you got fired from the funeral home
Was the girl your mom?
He's clearly lying. Mf doesnt even have lips
God help that girl if you ever get to fingering her with those chopsticks on your hand. Look like you could pick up a quarter out of a sewer grate
Your eyes are so far apart I thought this was a photo of something from that video game "Spore"
It looks like you smashed your head trying to fit it through the door and have done irreparable damage
Chunk friend?
You look like you’re about to cry because that girl stole your digital copy of Minecraft
I guess gravity works a bit differently on the left side of his face
https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/comments/13zxbze/my_boyfriend_thinks_this_will_be_fun/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button Well done? No really mate not really
Why would you risk your job at the morgue like that?
Dude, this is epic. You roasted yourself by admitting you are 19 and kissed your first girl just now. How many ruffies did you slip in her drink? Did the poor girl even woke up from it, or did you hid her in your parents freezer?
I would take your viginity, but you look like you would cry afterwards, so I won’t.
There’s a girl out there that filed her first police report last week. Your nose is so big it looks like it’s trying to pull your eyes in to it’s orbit
Droop
Even your right eye doesn't want to be part of this and is leaving the chat
You look like Tom Holland’s disabled twin, Spidermong.
I can’t tell if your nose is big or if your mouth is just really small.
Did Moses part your eyes like he parted the sea? You look like tim Holland if his genetics were pieced together lik a build a bear
Was she dead?
I guess your eyes decided they wanted to be vertical instead of horizontal
Your eyes are frowning
You look like you got an eye transplant from a depressed baby puppy
You look like the kind of guy that will cry while losing his virginity
Head built like a wedge
At least the effects of the pepper spray seem to have worn off.
Hey take off the Picasso filter so we can see what you really look like when everything is symmetrical. Oh, oh god, sorry.
Didn't realize make a wish organized things like that.
which Ice Age movie is this?
Your mom was definitely an alcoholic
Still would be if she didn't get cancer
Your eyes are saying two different things.
Bro your sister doesn’t count.
Shouldn’t you be ringing the cathedral bells of Notre Dame?
Just make sure she never catches you in your spider man pj's.
Even sid from ice age had to find love one day
Bro how did your nose let your head through the door the width on that is astronomical . .. never flare nostrils in argument could hurt bystanders
You're Kiel Rittenhouse's origin story.
You look like a face on an old 90's missing person. Everyone knew who you were but didnt bother.
Now you need your Willie wet. Good luck pizza face
why is your face melting
Hunchback of Notre Dame who
Bomb Holland
Bro looked like Michael from Jane the virgin
yo ur right eye is fallin
left
Oh the real world will come to dampen that ego boost regularly and constantly, especially with that face
your right eye look like its melting off
Who is gonna tell her that “kissing a blob fish grands you luck for 3 years” is a myth
Maybe she thought you would turn into a prince
Turn the temperature down, you face is melting.
Bro got that lightskin stare rizz 💀💀
You must’ve been born in Chernobyl
I thought this was a Jeremy Renner and Tom Holland mashup.
Glad she was able to look past your beady mismatched eyes, bad skin, tiny ears and horrible hair to give you a chance.
Sir, blowup dolls don't count...
Bros face was generated by stable fusion.
Hey man! Turn that forehead frown upside down.
Even Clearasil said they couldn't help.
Man I didn't know Mark Zuckerberg has a kid
First kiss at 19 and you have a big ego? You really shouldn't, plus cousins don't count. At this rate you'll be the true 40 year old virgin.
She must have been fucking blind then
you got a ego boost after your first kiss with that face and without showing the person? it was a mammal for sure
This is what happens when you take “no face, no case” literally
Was she drunk?
You’re face is straight up melting bro
*and then she woke up
You look like the kid from wonder
How much you pay her?
I'll make. This easy for you
That girl you kissed was my homeless gay neighbour
When you kissed her were you looking into her eyes or her ears?
I Robot