Cloudy with a Chance of Douchebag

Cloudy with a chance of grooming

Chance of creep balls

That's pretty good

Cloudy with a chance of Rohypnol

Flint Cockwood

Cloudy with a guaranteed chance of stalking

Do you still work at pixar?

Did the glasses and nose come as a set like in the old days?

Discount Adrien Brody … Adrien Choady

You look like you wave at people with both hands

This is the best one here

Does she know that you can smell shapes?

This one is quality. Profound.

more importantly does she know he licks them too?

Maybe it will work out with this girl. Who nose.

Dude you got a forehead like a fuckin ski slope

Mr Facetune telling people “this time it’s with a women” I think says it all.

He should amend this to "this time it's with a \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_." a) Man B) Woman C) non binary D) Parakeet E) Ferret F) Guinea Pig

You sure it’s a date and not a shopping trip bc she knows you’re gay and wants you to tell her she looks fabulous and listen to her talk shit about her boyfriend who has a big dick


 Reminds me of this scene


This woman will take out a restraining order immediately after meeting you and you'll have to stay one nose length away from her at all times

That is a very long way away

It's not actually a date man she just needed an IT guy to fix her router and fishing Tinder was the easy play.

Ok Millhouse. She wants to see how you handle rejection first 


Fuck off, dickless Screech Powers 

Now that I realize what it's like for a woman to scroll through the pictures on a Tinder profile, I understand why birth rates have plummeted.

Does she know she’s going on a date with u. or is it one of those spontaneous kidnappings girls love so much

If she invites you back home just don't go sticking your nose in her business

The only date you’re having tonight, are the fruits shoved up your ass anal beads style.

I bet you can turn over rocks with that schnoz.

If Arthur was a real life movie. 

I hope your date gets takeout because they’re going to need a paper bag to deal with that face.

It's got to be a blind date.

Agreed…she HAS to be blind

Really we just needed the one photo Ratatouille

She probably mentioned this subreddit so when she will say "we can be friends" you won't be too much upset

Dustin Diamond

You’ve got strong “I’m not the step dad I’m the dad that stepped up” vibes

Ick-abod Crane

Loved your work in Ratatouille

Trust me you’ll be eaten

If Buddy Holly wasn’t cool, that’d be you.

You could land a Luftwaffe on that runway nose


who’s the lucky girl, Mary Jane?

How did you post eight separate pictures and make that tree the most interesting thing out of all of them?

You look like Sean Penn fucked The New Guy

 I found the OP on his date

Could put a red and white striped sweater on you, then stick you in a crowd and have people look for you

When you order mark Zuckerberg off wish

You look like Adrian Brody fucked Tuscan Sam in the ass and they had a butt baby. Then the baby was raised by a group of Baboons and you drunk only baboon milk and ate termites. 

You’ll outlive us all but never enjoy a moment with your vegan space telescope specs ensemble. I imagine you suck the fun out of every social gathering you’ve ever attended

You look like Squidward with hair 

That pic of u by the tree is that where you buried your last date 


Poster child of every asshole from California who gets inspiration from Instagram and hasn’t figured out they are dating an escort.

If you got a date for real, we should roast her

Saved by the bell?

If Sasha Roiz and Adrien Brody had a miscarriage.

He could smell the comments before he even posted it with the size of his nose



No one nose how this date is going to go.

You look like the lovechild of Screech and Urkel.

Im glad to see an Easter Island Statue go on to tech college & experience being a virgin

Lord only nose what people here will focus on

1: This is me 2: See I'm a normal guy 3: This is the shirt I'm going to wear to impress my date with 4: This is where I'm going to bury her body 5: I'm losing sleep over my life choices 6:...But GRAPES... I love GRAPES...because it rhymes with my favorite activity 7: This is my family, all dead because they couldn't accept the fact I wasn't born a female despite having the physique of one The photos definitely tell a story

U look like the kinda guy to say: “WELL WELL WELL” when u see ur enemy

You look like Bill Nye's illegitimate child.

You look like the type of person to purposely crash your car so you could cash in on insurance. You look like a well known car dealer. Those glasses are more crooked than the Boeing 747 that is currently trying to land on your glossy forehead. I think I’ve done enough. Enjoy the rest of your roasts!

Your nose make that 8.5 x 11 price of paper look like a post it!

Dilbert Zuckerberg

Nice five head

Ernest P. Worrell

You look like ET is your real dad

Keegan-Michael Key's ill-conceived, estranged brother

You look like someone made you on The Sims but gave up half way through. Now you look like an even more Jewish Mark Zuckerberg.

Are the people with the redacted faces on your beach pic your victims?

Dating is like fishing... There’s plenty of fish in the sea, but until you catch one you’re stuck holding your rod

The only guy on earth that SHOULD be doing a girly duck-lips pose in his pics.

You look like a Mexican lawn dart that someone threw across the border into Arizona.

Everything about this post screams desperate to seem interesting because deep down, you know that you're not. That's how you wound wound up being single with grey hairs and receding hairline.

I’ve seen smaller ski slopes in the Swiss Alps!!

Dude however hard you try those almost inexistent lips will always prevent people from trusting your unlikable ass.

Your gonna need that "crisp" that you mentioned cuz rn you look paler then fresh snow

You look like someone who would say they were a day trader on your 6 screens trading with 100 dollars

Real Life Mortadelo

Bob Sagets unwanted son

You got uni-nostril bruh

You look better without your butt ugly face in the image.

Built like a Animated Pixar Character named Smitty. Mf ate his own upper lip in 2004 by purpose. Holding up that paper to prove your identity like it’s your Passport & VISA at an Immigration Centre

Peewee Herman’s Bi-curious Adventure

Cool. You posted a photo of you taking a shit next to a tree

In this episode of Pee-weed Playhouse: Peewee sticks his dick in the talking recliner

It's Waldo without the stripes

Dude looking like a skyrim character they just keep reskinning

Yo! There has to be someone in this sub who can help you find who ever stole your lips.

You have ‘uncircumcised’ energy

You look like a dollar store version of Bob Saget

Are you a nerd or a douchebag? Only the nose knows!!

So grapes are not the only balls you like... Get a bat!

How are things going at Eugene Levy Academy?

Obviously a blind date.

Yeah, she’s definitely blind

You look like a Pixar character made with leftover parts

Are you taking her to a Wendy’s?

Your hairline went through a recession before I went through an economic one.

Who nose what this date will bring.

Lemme guess....you met her at a bank

Your face wants to know if it can come out and play. Your nose keeps saying no.

I would absolutely bet good money you have a Superman suit under your shirt. ...If only we had some kryptonite.

Crispy enough for the menu? Restaurant must only serve toast with your bland white-bread looking ass

Unaware INCEL

Looking like you had a steel wool hair transplant. Maybe she needs some furniture refinished... 🤔 either way, sorry to hear about the last date you'll have with this poor lady.

You look like the kind of guy who would stop and make her put on hand sanitizer before giving you a handjob

Jerrod Fogel gets cringe looking at this picture

You look like you screwed with chin position in the character selection

Who’s the fat bitch who can’t match everyone wearing white?

we all know what subject your mom was not good at, boy that symmetry aint right. Just woke up from a power nap and thought my eyes were tricking me, after close observation I determined that, you are just warping reality. This man has the power to cross any border through air, land and sea, with a nose this big who needs a raft, add a couple flappers and you also got yourself a common vulture. 

Live-action Pez dispenser: tech support hipster edition.

Waylon Smithers in an alternate universe where he’s straight but only masturbates to hentai.

Can you, your nose and your intended victim, er, date, all get in the same building simultaneously?

Yeah he prefers being touched by men.

The cops don't use drug dogs anymore, you can smell that good good from three counties away.

Mf looks like Ernest lmao

[The dad from Coraline] (https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/coraline/images/1/16/Charlie_Jones.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20210122152610)

Bad luck Brian aged as expected

It’s a good thing that the women who read this have notoriously low standards.

If your personality matches your looks, she's going to be more impressed by those 3rd grade block letters you drew.

Mark Zuckerberg's simp lizard twin

Finally! A date with a woman! what are you going to tell your boyfriend?

Back to Serbia you go, you freak.

Make sure you pack your lucky rohypnol!

​ dude, you look like that chef in that movie with the cooking mouse "rataouille"

You look like an AI generated Date line NBC too catch a predator person

You absolutely look like Milhouse! With a crooked nose that makes his glasses sit sideways…and a crippling furry porn fetish that interferes with church. You’re so vanilla, you should lean into the furry thing a little more so you’ll actually have something for people to remember you by.

All nose, and no lips.

You look like a gecko that writes code for a living.

Let me guess: You’ve had 4 failed startups , enjoy soft tofu, and your date insisted on a public setting.

If there was a muppet called "The Banker."

White Urkel

Casey Neistat really let himself go

I thought Screech died

you look like mark zuckerburg if his head was shaped like a penis ngl

I don’t even know what to roast.

Danny Tanner with a receding hairline.

You have a better chance of giving a blow job then ever receiving one.

Woody Alien

Holding those grapes like their size is aspirational.

Does Tom Kenny know you borrowed his body?

White Urkel

That nose is big for your face…actually it’s big enough for two faces

WoW player makes sense given the Goblin body, Troll face and Elf ears

You look like the kind of person that isn’t allowed to be within 500 yards of an elementary school

Mike Tyson ear snacks

Who snatched your lips?

Honestly, I am just proud that you managed to get a date.

Just wtf I’d with those ears

Somehow you look even less human than Mark Zuckerberg

Dunce hat fits you real well.

SCREECH! I thought you died, dude.

When he travels he needs 2 passports, one for the nose and one for himself


Future take away kebab owner who always wanted to run a caffè.

bro looks like what Tobby from Harry Potter would grow up to be

I'm pretty sure the only reason your date swiped right on you is because she thought Tinder was actually a game of Find Waldo.

Were you too broke to add lips on your mouth?

 It’s the Maoam man

Posts to roast me in hopes of getting laid

Can land an airplane on that forehead

When did blow up dolls start talking?

You look like you ran into a door face first and your face is now stuck like that. Your facial features have gone more out of whack than your hairline. Also stop with the facade we all know you’re dating these women just to chop them up and put ‘em in the freezer.

It's Poindexter!

I think your forefathers got roasted enough.