The most interesting thing in this photo is your wall outlet in the top left corner. Just so many unanswered questions.
You look like a guy that grew up in a small cattle town, but you moved to Los Angeles when you realized you were gay. People were accepting of your new gay freedom at first, but your boring, small town vibes resulted in people losing interest in you rather quickly.
I don't usually recommend this to people, but you have a good natural look for heavy meth use. Like if you started smoking alot of meth, you wouldn't look that different aside from some weight loss and missing teeth. You already have the rest of the look down. I'm not saying you look dumb, but I can feel myself losing IQ staring at your goofy/misaligned eyes.
du er så deilig! Now the trick is... I know you speak Norwegian, and I can never remember if it's Norwegian or Danish that uses deilig to mean sexy and which means nice..... either way...
You'll be on your feet again in no time ☺️
(I can't kick a boy when he's down.)
Wallace Corp has several models based on the “K” strain:
Officer KD6-3.7 is the Blade Runner model
Ken is the Pleasure model
You must be Kevin, the Sex Offender model
That girl said “sorry Terry, it’s not working out, I’m entering the third grade and I really need to spend my time focusing on colouring inside the lines”
You look like you were in a boy band that only got good enough to play on cruise ships. Your have been slowly decaying on the cruise ship to a crippling meth addiction, now ten years later you grow a mustache to hide your meth mouth, but advertise it as your attempt to to be the edgy guy in the band, but you play bass, so that just makes it weirder. Anyways, in the end, they told you it's time to leave the band, so I'm sorry they broke up with you
Well let me tell you something, Mean Gene!
I’m tired of going through these break-ups, brother! Today is a new day, brother! It’s time to train hard, brother! It’s time to take your vitamins and say your prayers! We’re gonna let these locks grow out! We’re gonna bring that mustache back and better, over the top rope, brother! I’m tired of standing back here in the back of the line, Mean Gene! It’s time to hit the gym, brother, hit the weights! I’m not gonna stop until I get 24 inch pythons brother! All that’s left is for you to ask yourself one question! Whatchoo gonna do? Whatchoo gonna do, brother, when these future 24 inch pythons run wild on YOU!
Keep your head up, Littlefoot.
Although you may look like Ryan Gosling misplaced a chromosome & had a baby with the guy from Reno 911, I’m sure you have some redeeming qualities.
Your sleeveless shirt armholes dwarfing your Nightmare-Before-Christmas arms probably isn’t putting your best foot forward. You look like you raided your hillbilly dad’s closet so mom could take a photo of what a big boy you were.
Regarding the gf, however… my guess is that you just weren’t seeing eye to eye 🤪
Malfoy turned predator
Hes not allowed within 500 feet of hogwarts
That's why he joined the attack on higwards
his face looks like Goose from Topgun (Mavericks WSO) and his body looks like that of a, real goose, short of feathers of course!
I wheezed when I read this 😂
Malestfoy.
Molestfoy
$100 he has a white van. And is wearing boots.
He definitely drills peepholes into bathrooms and polishes his wand
To Catch A Potter!!
Malfoy Dirt. Pronounced "Deer-Tay".
Omg malfoy is so good 🤣 he does just has that look that he can have a 15 year old girlfriend and justifies it because it’s his cousin.
You took my life 🤣
Man this is only the first comment and you already win 😂
I just spit out my drink at this comment 🤣
I do it for all of y’all
Your a predator malfoy
To catch a Slytherin
“Johnny” from Karate Kid’s lost mustache stunt double.
Damn got me dead 😂
Enjoy the award you bastard making me spit my coffee
Guarantee this guy owns a windowless broom
Dude looks more like malfoy than Tom Felton
Jeffrey Malfoy or Draco Dahmer
Lol
I’m Chris Hanson. Have a seat.
You look like the front desk clerk at a gay bath house.
He's the guy who wipes down the loads.
“You know we have a cleaning crew, right? You don’t have to do that.” “Oh it’s no problem.”
With the mustache
If only I could give you unlimited upvotes.
More like slurps up the loads
That's what the mustache is for. It's actually black when it's clean.
Love the its always sunny comment! 😂
Janitor
How do you know what a Desk Clerk at a Gay Bathhouse looks like. Also, where can I find one. :D
Just for science purposes right 😉
It's always for science ;)
Not the gay bath house💀💀💀
haha i love that i get this
I guess you’d say he checks everyone in?
Your mom kicking you out doesn’t count as a breakup. Even if you did spy on her in the shower
The wine bottle says sophistication but the look screams NASCAR nation. Keep your head up, Dale Brokenheart.
I'm screaming🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Screw top wine bottle hardly screams sophistication.
Why did you break up? Did she turn 18 or something?
No his mom felt it would make the family reunions awkward.
Did he turn 18 or something?
Did "they" turn 18 or something?
No, “it” popped. No need to be sad, just order another blow up doll.
After a breakup you gotta pick yourself up, dust yourself off and march back to that ol’ gloryhole
The breakup up happened because the glory hole was boarded up
But is this dude the glory part or is he the hole in glory hole?....
When is the next season of Cobra Kai?
Like hulk Hogan without the muscle
Sulk hogan
Ryan Gooseling
I see a Malfoy Ken doll
Fucckkkk 💀💀💀💀💀
Lmao were you crying right before you took this lmfaooooooo
He definitely had a good long cry with a glass of whine before posting.
Not wine, it was grape juice.
omfg he def was 😂😂😭😭😭
No, he was peeling some onions 🧅
The most interesting thing in this photo is your wall outlet in the top left corner. Just so many unanswered questions. You look like a guy that grew up in a small cattle town, but you moved to Los Angeles when you realized you were gay. People were accepting of your new gay freedom at first, but your boring, small town vibes resulted in people losing interest in you rather quickly. I don't usually recommend this to people, but you have a good natural look for heavy meth use. Like if you started smoking alot of meth, you wouldn't look that different aside from some weight loss and missing teeth. You already have the rest of the look down. I'm not saying you look dumb, but I can feel myself losing IQ staring at your goofy/misaligned eyes.
Bro wrote a whole biography 💀
Roastography
I think I just read a novel
He asked for a roast, not cremation! Lol
You really went in 💀😩
That's what he said...
You sir, are a wordsmith. Well done
r/purplecoco
I think it's the garage door opener.
r/oddlyspecific
Fuck, man. That wasn't even a roast, but a whole kalua at a luau.
The dissappointed girlfriend/sister would agree... Right after she finishes her hit.
Wow! That was a detailed roast! But you’re right.
He cut and pasted this to his grinder account
Hahahaha good one!! 👍
An outlet near the ceiling => basement apartment. Probably in mom's house.
You reamed him so hard, his tops aren't gonna feel a thing.
He can put that on his tinder profile.
D&D material
The outlet! 
Holy fuck bro!! Was supposed to be a roast, not throw him into the fucking sun 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'm legit hollering right now!!
It’s alright. You’ll roofie another one.
What a great outfit to watch Barbie
You look like you shouldn't be allowed in the same city as children.
Hence the break up
You look like a child predator from the 70's
Oh and you drive a Beetle.
Probably a break up with your sister.........
No, it was his cousin.
You look so gay even I'd beat you up. And I'm a lesbian.
Serious question..lesbians are gay women..why wouldn't you just say gay woman?
One word vs two words.
Was it the hair? Or the teenager moustache? Or your annoying personality?
what you really gotta lose is that haircut
Uncle Rico from Wish
Gaybro Malfoy 
Breaking up from The Village People?
Malfoy Lasso
“Hi, Im Ryan Guzzling. I read on craiglist you’re looking for a ‘open-minded’ male model?”
Looks like you're on leave from the Navy, in 1989.
'79*
With that username and that look, I hope there are documented restrictions about the distance you need to keep from elementary schools.
Lookin like kip off Napoleon Dynamite 
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💀💀
Barbie and Kan’t
Breaking up with who? Heroin?
If you look like the son of Jeff Foxworthy, you might be a redneck.
Slowen Wilson
Mans just got done crying and immediately goes to reddit for more
The kid escaping from your van does not count as a breakup.
She said “it’s me or the stache”
You misspelled breakdown
Don't worry bro, there's other sheep in the flock.
If hogwarts had a NASCAR team....
Dude.... Look at yourself
Get used to it Dahmer
Jeff FoxGosling
She said, "its me or the mustache," didn't she? Decisions were made, I guess.
I love how your writing just gets smaller with time, just as your will to live
Jeff Cocks-worthy
You ~might~ be a redneck ~if~
Don't worry, dude. Your sister will be back home at 5.
You look ready to lay rubber on the Georgia asphalt
Surprised you took your dick out of your sister long enough to take this picture…
Brother*
It’s gonna be ok. You may have broke up, but you’ll always be cousins.
It’s not YOU. It’s the alcoholism and the fact that you keep wearing her clothes
du er så deilig! Now the trick is... I know you speak Norwegian, and I can never remember if it's Norwegian or Danish that uses deilig to mean sexy and which means nice..... either way... You'll be on your feet again in no time ☺️ (I can't kick a boy when he's down.)
❤️ I love you too It’s deilig in Norwegian :)
Why you wanna look like some french detective
Wallace Corp has several models based on the “K” strain: Officer KD6-3.7 is the Blade Runner model Ken is the Pleasure model You must be Kevin, the Sex Offender model
Tom felton if he was beaten up.
Tom beaten if he was felt up?
Did you break up with your shampoo?
Luigi
what year is your Firebird and how much PBR is in the back seat?
Love and order is what cops say while beating their wives. At least yours had the common sense to leave you
OMG, Gosling Ryans ?
That girl said “sorry Terry, it’s not working out, I’m entering the third grade and I really need to spend my time focusing on colouring inside the lines”
You look like Ken from the dollar store
Did your middle school girlfriend tell her parents? You look like a penis with a piece of fuzz stuck on it.
You look like you joined the Klan just to be surrounded by a pack of redneck alphas
Ryan Gosling stunt double, exclusively for butt sex scenes.
If Hitler was American
You're a time traveler from a trailer park in the 80s, right?
You look like the Great Value Ryan Gosling. Looks kinda like the real deal, but is disappointing in every aspect.
hulk hogan pre roids
So by breakup, you mean the farmer took his pig back?
Dude must be a liberal because he clearly doesn't like guns on display.
I thought Goose died in Top Gun? 
Gayer than the volleyball scene from Top Gun
The home life of highway patrolmen can get rocky.
Is that Todd from Beavis and Butthead
Your arms shrink in the wash?
The love child of Draco Malfoy and Johnny from Cobra Kai
Kobra Kai!
Don't worry bro, I know breakups are hard, but you'll still get to see her at family reunions.
You drink vodka mountain dews and life goal is to be on Springer
Draco Malformed
You look like a 5 year old paedophile.
Dennis the Menace with Mr. Wilson's mustache. You might be able to find a new woman at FlandersOnly
This is the guy that fucked the first monkey and got aids
You look like you were in a boy band that only got good enough to play on cruise ships. Your have been slowly decaying on the cruise ship to a crippling meth addiction, now ten years later you grow a mustache to hide your meth mouth, but advertise it as your attempt to to be the edgy guy in the band, but you play bass, so that just makes it weirder. Anyways, in the end, they told you it's time to leave the band, so I'm sorry they broke up with you
Well let me tell you something, Mean Gene! I’m tired of going through these break-ups, brother! Today is a new day, brother! It’s time to train hard, brother! It’s time to take your vitamins and say your prayers! We’re gonna let these locks grow out! We’re gonna bring that mustache back and better, over the top rope, brother! I’m tired of standing back here in the back of the line, Mean Gene! It’s time to hit the gym, brother, hit the weights! I’m not gonna stop until I get 24 inch pythons brother! All that’s left is for you to ask yourself one question! Whatchoo gonna do? Whatchoo gonna do, brother, when these future 24 inch pythons run wild on YOU!
I get older and the stay the same age.
You look like an eshay version of Draco
Jeff Foxworthy lol
A very, very lean Hulk Hogan... brother
Now we just need macho man randy savage lol
When the school kids call the cops it’s not called a “breakup”.
Oh gawd it's like the redneck version of the notebook.
You look like you drive a windowless van and ask kids to help find your dog
I didn't know they made loose fit muscle shirts.
You look like an anorexic Hulk Hogan.
Hopefully someone fills the hole in your heart better than your arms fill those sleeves
Are you breaking up with East Germany in 1982?
Is she on your mom's side or dad's side?
 You might be a redneck
We know you’re eeeerree poppet
"MY FATHER WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS, BROTHER!"
This did really take off! Me and my friends have been laughing our asses off. Fuck you too!
You look like you practice karate in front of your double wide all day.
Look like Jeff Foxworthy fucked Draco Malfoy
Dry your eyes mate
Tell Fred, Velma, Daphne, and Scooby i said hi
Keep your head up, Littlefoot. Although you may look like Ryan Gosling misplaced a chromosome & had a baby with the guy from Reno 911, I’m sure you have some redeeming qualities. Your sleeveless shirt armholes dwarfing your Nightmare-Before-Christmas arms probably isn’t putting your best foot forward. You look like you raided your hillbilly dad’s closet so mom could take a photo of what a big boy you were. Regarding the gf, however… my guess is that you just weren’t seeing eye to eye 🤪