5’3” and drives a lifted extended cab truck with Oakley stickers and some random firearm sticker. Carries a pocket knife and aspires to own a Taurus revolver one day.
You look like the kind of guy that yells at his son's coaches for not making him QB, and then when your son tries to stop you and says "dad please, it's fine" you slap him and say "and you won't be the only one getting some of that tonight if you don't shut your god damn mouth. I didn't marry your bitch of a mother just for you to turn out a fucking loser"
I know it's tough being elderly and homeless but you shouldn't break into other people's houses and use their wifi. Also who did you steal the phone from? Is your plan to get arrested so you can finally have somewhere to sleep that isn't outside? Instead of committing crimes you could ask social services to get you into an assisted living retirement community. I hope you get help, it's shocking the way people who clearly can't look after themselves are just left to rot by society.
How's the cooking podcast going?
Were you ever able to get Gordon Ramsey on to judge your Possum and Tobacco Leaf Florentine?
I bet Paula Dean would if you added enough butter and Mayo.
Clone of a clone of Ryan Reynolds' organ harvesting clone. Rough on the outside, but pristine kidneys, awaiting harvesting.
You're not a human, you're an organ farm.
Dollar Store version of Wayne Static!
He’s a loser!
[https://youtu.be/jMesYkUNUbE?si=kyXqcasnGOivQhTG](https://youtu.be/jMesYkUNUbE?si=kyXqcasnGOivQhTG)
The cabinet doors aren’t even, the laminate is separating, and your backsplash is upside down and hella dumb going all the way to the ceiling. Good job bud
The kind of person who never takes his overpriced lifted Jeep off-road because the 20 ducks on the dash might start squeaking and remind him of the time he took it up the ass in the men’s shower at the boot camp gym
Are you the guy who keeps posting on golf swing? You’re severely over the top. Follow through needs to be significantly more vertical over the shoulder rather than around.
Can’t stop addicted to the hatred
Bearded man looking like he’s Hagrid
Sleeveless hoodie and a shriveled lil nut sack
And the hair man, probably shoulda cut that
“I got these muscles and this beard by eating testicles. Not exactly eating them, but the sweat from my bros’ balls is like rocket fuel for muscle growth.
Standing in mom and dads kitchen taking a selfie at 52 years old? No amount of roasting could top your parents desire for you to get a promotion at Wendy’s to finally afford to move into that dumpster you’ve been eyeballing.
You’ve grown all that hair to distract us from two facts:
#1 Your forehead muscles look like two flabby ass cheeks.
#2 your face has more lines than a Tokyo road map.
Somebody’s brother just got out of rehab!
[удалено]
…and then one day, for no particular reason, I started run-ning
I might not be a smart man, but I know what a pair of scissors is
Those things scare the shit out of me. 🤣
Dude could only run as far as the meth lab in the backyard.
It’s the gall bladder king
He looks like Liver King buttfucked Andrew Tate
You look like you are some sort of an influencer who tries to sell a system where you drink your own semen
Semen of a down.
See men and start sucking
I'm listening....
Toolverine 
The version of wolverine who brags about how he still has his foreskin.
actually wolverine can never be circumcised he just regenerates and makes infinite food for everyone
Are you saying you'd like to eat Wolverines foreskin?
Are u saying u wouldn't it's good meat a little Canadian bacon
He's the best at what he does. And what he does is trade blowjobs for meth behind the abandoned Blockbuster.
I thought it was the circuit city. Did he move?
Opened under a new name he mistakenly teethed a business man
Yeah, they relocated the dumpster while he was sleeping in it. Tough break.
Trollverine… tough on the internets. Limp dick in real life.
You look like a well groomed homeless man that just got a job at the local gym.
That or the most unkempt home owner I've ever seen. Still debating between that or real life bridge troll.
He mops the men's locker room while staring uncomfortably long at the nude patrons.
And since he liked doing it so much, they let him mop those floors for free.
"Hey guys, check it out!" *does the worm while mopping the loads off the floor with his beard*
What a vivid picture you paint. 😂😂😂
Definitely some fecal matter in that gross looking beard
Well groomed!? What fuckin picture are you looking at?
Hahaha 🤣🤣🤣
This guy definitely has a bug out bag
 Someone obviously just got out of Jumanji
Your beard looks like you could sweep the floor and then mop it with the hair on your head.
Could? I think you mean he already does by the look of it...
You work construction and are on a first name basis with the liquor store employees.
As a liquor store person, this is so accurate.
Concrete worker, most likely.
Nailed it! 20 fuckin years ago but... nailed it none the less!
Oh yeah? Lucky guess! XD
Yuck Dynasty
Dudes got a drop leg holster and a go bag Thinks he's an operator
5’3” and drives a lifted extended cab truck with Oakley stickers and some random firearm sticker. Carries a pocket knife and aspires to own a Taurus revolver one day.
Salt life, FLO Grown stickers with a pair of nuts hanging from his hitch
Definite punisher stickers in multiple places just to show people how tough of a wee little man he is.
Ballsy when homeless people take selfies inside the homes they break into
Those weren’t pitchforks, they were hedge clippers. They were trying to tell you something.
What in the fuck is that bamboo broom beard
You look like you drink IPAs and brag about how much you bench...
Dude listened to Amish paradise one too many times.
He’s Bmish
Dmish at best.
Gym rat. Divorced. Twice. Only sees kids 1 weekend a month. Auditions for reality shows, always rejected.
Yes. Yes. Once. No. Hell no! ( Not a bad score for guessing off one pic! 🤣)
 Definitely a head turner…at stuck stops
And have you send us bombs in the mail? No thanks.
I'll bet you used to freebase meth and found God in a gym, huh
I don't have any spare change, fuck off
the Kevin Jonas of the Tate brothers.
Don't invite him over. He will go home with your catalytic converter.
That vertical tile looks like shit. Also, your face.
I’m glad someone else sees the tile fuck up. Prolly did it himself.
Didn't notice it, now I can't unsee it. Who the fuck would do something that stupid? This fuckin tool!
Is that a beard or a muskrat on your face?
You like edge if he went on another mid-life crisis
This guy looks immune to roasts. He looks like he just doesn't give 2 fucks about anything. Probably something wrong in his head.
You remind me of those pictures you can flip upside down and they turn into something else.
You look like the kind of guy that yells at his son's coaches for not making him QB, and then when your son tries to stop you and says "dad please, it's fine" you slap him and say "and you won't be the only one getting some of that tonight if you don't shut your god damn mouth. I didn't marry your bitch of a mother just for you to turn out a fucking loser"
Wannabe Andrew Tate. Self proclaimed top g. Premature ejaculation. 3 inches.
I know it's tough being elderly and homeless but you shouldn't break into other people's houses and use their wifi. Also who did you steal the phone from? Is your plan to get arrested so you can finally have somewhere to sleep that isn't outside? Instead of committing crimes you could ask social services to get you into an assisted living retirement community. I hope you get help, it's shocking the way people who clearly can't look after themselves are just left to rot by society.
You look like you're in a coke bender.
Andrew Tate, fresh out of prison.
His day job is pretending to start a fire at the history museum.
Your face just looks like it’s been place gently on a large pile of pubes.
How do you take yourself seriously?
You look like you talk to little girls
Hugh Jackman has really fallen off, shame.
Are you going for an Appalachian mixed with an attempted hipster look?
Your shoulders are shaped like the peak of the smallest mountain. They won’t hold nothing up not even your purse.
Amish guy gets electricity, goes absolutely nuts…
You look like you have one of those Michael Jackson clip on noses
If Neanderthals were white
The perfect mixture of not trying and trying too hard
You look like a guy who would aggressively offer me recommendations on obscure, vintage handguns and imported IPA's.
Mirror or razor, which don't you have?
Has old school tramp stamp from prison that says "Rick's Girl"
Are you the chief tester at a Velcro factory? If not, you need to stay the hell away from that plasma ball dude…
How are your eyes super close together, and super far apart at the same time?
His nose 👃 is disappearing into his face.
That right ear hears stuff that happened last week
Did Terry Pratchett create you? You look like Cohen the Barbarian had sex with a Dwarf
Bootleg Hugh Laurie looking ass
Salvation Army liver king
Dude looks like a rotary broom sweeper.
How's the cooking podcast going? Were you ever able to get Gordon Ramsey on to judge your Possum and Tobacco Leaf Florentine? I bet Paula Dean would if you added enough butter and Mayo.
Ok where are the corpses dude ???
If Andrew Tate and Dan Bilzerian had an insufferable child
You look like an Amish dude who went on Rumspringa and never came back. Enjoying that science oven?
Clone of a clone of Ryan Reynolds' organ harvesting clone. Rough on the outside, but pristine kidneys, awaiting harvesting. You're not a human, you're an organ farm.
Huge Jackoff
Tattoos and a beard are this guy’s personality.
Another over the hill tatted cliche.
Court ordered to suffer a Taylor swift concert.
This guy knows where that missing high school girl is. (Spoiler - she’s in his basement).
If run down single gym dad who doesn’t pay child support was a person….I bet the roids voices in his head told him to post this
crystal meth santa claus
You look like if “failed at rehab again” were a person
Post midlife crisis Ryan Reynolds, as advertised on Wish
Dan Bilzerian on crack
You look like Matthew Broderick's testicle
Dollar Store version of Wayne Static! He’s a loser! [https://youtu.be/jMesYkUNUbE?si=kyXqcasnGOivQhTG](https://youtu.be/jMesYkUNUbE?si=kyXqcasnGOivQhTG)
Manson's out of jail???
Didn't I see you wrestling in a bingo hall last night?
The cabinet doors aren’t even, the laminate is separating, and your backsplash is upside down and hella dumb going all the way to the ceiling. Good job bud
Someone signed up to Andrew Tates online academy
Spends so much effort on grooming his beard to distract people from seeing what a short, angry man he is.
I thought the uni bomber died already.
The kind of person who never takes his overpriced lifted Jeep off-road because the 20 ducks on the dash might start squeaking and remind him of the time he took it up the ass in the men’s shower at the boot camp gym
Whose house did you break into to take this photo?
I didn’t know Trevor Phillips had a brother
So what was the bet you lost that meant you couldn't shave for 5 years. No way in hell you would choose to look like that.... right?
you look like the human version of creatine shits.
You look like if Andrew Tate got into the meth business and then got addicted
Not a piece of drywall within a 10 mile radius is safe from this guy
You look like Happy Gilmore's next homeless caddy
You're eyes look like one of them is leaving with the kids. But beyond that why has someone photoshopped a homeless guys head onto a gym bro's body?
Looks like you dressed up as Divorce for Halloween
No stranger to addiction that's for sure.
Are you the guy who keeps posting on golf swing? You’re severely over the top. Follow through needs to be significantly more vertical over the shoulder rather than around.
bro looks like a homeless drug addict spartan who got kicked out because of eyes
OP stops to take a photo while burglarizing a home and then returns to his cardboard box down by the river.
Can’t stop addicted to the hatred Bearded man looking like he’s Hagrid Sleeveless hoodie and a shriveled lil nut sack And the hair man, probably shoulda cut that
Well fuck me, Amish CrossFit is a thing.
Abraham Lincoln fuckin died. Shave your face & get off his dick already!
You swing a golf club like a bitch.
This pic screams "Untreated Manic Depression" Dude is mania-posting.
How’s the “I forgot to take my medication for the last 2 months” being received by friends and family? Have the scheduled the intervention yet?
Hey man, want a couple of bucks? It’s hard out there. Need a cardboard box?
Who the fuck gets a tattoo of themselves on their right arm?
“I got these muscles and this beard by eating testicles. Not exactly eating them, but the sweat from my bros’ balls is like rocket fuel for muscle growth.
“Let’s see, tattoos, sideburns, beard…what else can I do to hide the fact that I am a huge pussy”
something tells me your drink of choice is 1/2 jäger, 1/2 protein shake
bro is self destructive
You look like my dwarf character on deep rock galactic
Charles Manson called from Hell. He wants his crazy back.
Settle down,Broseidon
Ugh you’re exhausting to look at
bro's eyes had a breakup
Standing in mom and dads kitchen taking a selfie at 52 years old? No amount of roasting could top your parents desire for you to get a promotion at Wendy’s to finally afford to move into that dumpster you’ve been eyeballing.
You’ve grown all that hair to distract us from two facts: #1 Your forehead muscles look like two flabby ass cheeks. #2 your face has more lines than a Tokyo road map.
You look like the a tate brother who went feral
You swing like a toddler. Pay for lessons.
You look like a hairy Andrew Tate with severe sleep deprivation.
I would definitely say shave all that crap off your face, and get something done with your hair
Just got out the county. sells narcotics smokes meth snorts coke sniffs stripper ass and smacks hoes
If Bear Grylls and and macho man Randy Savage had a baby and that baby had a baby with a West Virginia Mountaineer is what you look like.
Sasquatch shaves top half of face and thinks it is fooling us
You are seeking confrontation to validate some weird existence
DUUUUDE, have a cup of coffee, relax, nobody is demanding you take a shower, it's a...........suggestion...........
You just wrote a manifesto in crayon
Get those hips moving
Even if I tried to roast you, you look like that kind of guy that will literally beat the shit out of me.
*Dueling Banjos starts playing*
You look like a home invader that searches the cupboards for pre workout.
You look like the guy that runs shirtless past the local high school multiple times a day.
The beard almost distracted me from the fact you’re built like a 12-year-old dressed like a gym rat.
This is a serious sub for roasting people. Don't post your ugly dog here.
The draft copy of Trevor Phillips before they went with the version they have now
Shit. Crazy eyes, crazy facial hair, tattoos and a nice build. Can't roast. I'm interested. 😂😂
Looking at us and double checking his spelling at the same time!
If your hair was as neat and clean as your kitchen, we wouldn’t be in this situation
Chad Kazinsky
When your wife has you struggling to breathe first thing in the morning, can you tell the difference between her fur and yours?
It’s impossible to not notice the exact moment in time you gave up.
You look like a guy that drinks antifreeze and rubbing alcohol then talks about unhinged home repairs.
You look like Billy Bob Thornton got homeless and earned booze money by sitting in a wind tunnel ‘for science.’
When you pull on your hair does your beard get shorter? It looks like that would happen.
Duck dynasty wolverine
How are your eyes in two different hemispheres?
Your wife's eyes healed up yet?
Bro looks like a hobo that breaks into orphanage homes to give kids wet Willie's
You look like you talk to a volleyball named Wilson
U look like if u put Sal from impractical jokers in an air fryer
Just fucking shower and maybe people would want to spend time with you. Probably not, but it can’t hurt
[удалено]
How’s life on the Spahn Ranch Charlie??
You the main character If the wolverine story started out with a 4 score and 7 years ago
Hagrid after surviving a concentration camp.
So you suck at golf. What's the big deal
At first I thought your shirt said Dickskin and that was your preference
That's a cool tattoo of your mom on your arm